Podcast Summary

The Mello Millionaire with Tommy Mello

Episode: How To Earn Trust and Influence According to Renowned Psychologist Robert Cialdini
Date: November 21, 2025
Host: Tommy Mello (Mello Studios)
Guest: Dr. Robert Cialdini (with his wife, Bobette)

Overview

In this episode, Tommy Mello sits down with Dr. Robert Cialdini, renowned psychologist and author of “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.” They explore the ethical and practical sides of influence—how to earn trust and guide behavior using Cialdini’s famous principles. The conversation is energetic, accessible, and packed with real-world examples for entrepreneurs, sales professionals, and anyone interested in the science of getting a “yes.”

Key Discussion Points

Introduction to Influence and Ethics

[02:06]

• Cialdini is excited about helping a broader, public audience apply the findings of his research.
• Emphasizes the ethical use of influence: influence should inform and educate people into “yes”, not manipulate them.
  • “It’s about the presentation of your case, not the core merits of your case. I can’t change that. I can change the way you deliver the merits…” – Dr. Cialdini [03:15]

The Seven Principles of Persuasion

[04:15]

• Originally: Reciprocity, Commitment/Consistency, Social Proof, Authority, Liking, Scarcity.
• Recently added: Unity

Reciprocity

[08:27]

• People respond in kind when you give first, even small gestures (see tipping/mints story below).

Commitment & Consistency

[08:45]

• Getting someone to make a public, spoken commitment dramatically increases follow-through (e.g., restaurant no-shows drop when customers are asked to promise to call to cancel).

  “Two words—‘Will you’—dropped no-shows by 62% that day.” – Dr. Cialdini [09:38]

Social Proof

[11:59]

• People follow the crowd, especially those they perceive as “like themselves.”
• Examples include neighborhood maps showing customer adoption or explicit numbers (e.g. “977 customers”).

Authority

[12:48]

• Authenticated endorsements from legitimate experts, especially presented first, significantly drive acceptance.

  “If you give them evidence that authorities have praised your product…before they’ve seen one word of it, they’re more likely to say yes.” – Dr. Cialdini [13:17]

Liking

[13:55]

• The key isn’t just being likable—it’s showing the customer that you like them.
• Techniques: laughing at jokes, taking notes, and extending genuine approval—even online with a welcoming landing page.

Scarcity

[15:20]

• Anything rare, unique, or limited triggers desire. Articulate the unique combination of strengths your offering brings.

  “People want more of those things they can have less of...a combination of strengths nobody can match.” – Dr. Cialdini [16:55]

Unity (New Principle)

[04:19]

• People more easily agree with those with whom they share a sense of togetherness.

• A relationship study found that only those who invoked “we” achieved real persuasion in disagreements.

  “Simply using the term we, you change the mindset from conflict to collaboration.” – Dr. Cialdini [06:33]
  “People don’t sink the boats they’re riding in. Your job…put the recipient in your boat with you.” – Dr. Cialdini [19:55, 31:01]

Practical Applications & Notable Examples

Dealing with Price Objections

[22:16]

• Admit imperfections or higher price, then follow with your unique strength.

  • “We’re expensive, but you’re worth it.” (L’Oreal campaign increased market share 300%)

  “The first version...was ‘We’re expensive, but we’re worth it.’ And it didn’t work. Make it about them.” – Dr. Cialdini [22:56]

The Cialdini-Berkshire Hathaway Story

[23:13]

• Charlie Munger (of Berkshire Hathaway) once gifted Cialdini a $75,000 share in gratitude for the reciprocity principle—a live example of influence in the highest circles. That share is now worth over $735,000.

  “We have made so much money from your book that you’re entitled to this...” – Charlie Munger to Cialdini [23:35]

Tipping: The Power of Reciprocity & Liking

[25:24]

• Waiters who present mints and verbally personalize the gesture see 23% increased tips versus control groups.
  • Layering reciprocity and liking multiplies results.

Upfront Honesty and Numbers

[27:27]

• Being specific and precise (e.g., 89% vs. “nine out of ten”) signals honesty and drives higher conversion.

  “If you said 89%, you get more conversions...you showed them you’re honest.” – Dr. Cialdini [27:41]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Changing Minds vs. Changing Habits
  “Changing habits is harder because you can get people to agree to do something, but that’s not the same as implementing that belief.” [17:30]

• On the Surprising Persuasibility of People
  “They think they’re less persuadable than they actually are. It’s not true. These principles work in a universal way.” [18:32]

• On the Purpose of Accumulating Wealth (quoting Charlie Munger)
  “The purpose of accumulating wealth is to be in a position to help people who are in peril.” [32:08]

• On the Right Way to Persuade
  “If you wish to persuade, speak not to argument, speak to self-interest of the recipient.” – Benjamin Franklin, cited by Cialdini [19:08, 00:00]

Practical Takeaways & Advice

• Implement in Small Steps
  “Give them small steps…big changes are too much for busy people.” – Dr. Cialdini [18:02]

• Use “We” to Build Unity
  “Focus on the connection, on the togetherness of us, bring that to top of consciousness.” [07:45]

• Show Evidence of Authority and Social Proof Early
  Place expert opinions and testimonials at the top, before your main pitch. [12:48]

• Frame Offers in Terms of the Customer’s Unique Benefit
  E.g., “we’re not the cheapest, but you’re worth it.” [22:17]

• Be Honest and Precise with Data
  Customers trust specific, even less-flattering statistics over vague excellence claims. [27:27]

Event Promotion & Closing

[34:58 – 36:37]

• Dr. Cialdini is launching a new program in December, focused on helping a select group turn the principles of influence into actionable habits (“Influence Unleashed” in Tempe, AZ).
• Final advice: “Select the right people for that event who can articulate what they learned…not just to you, but to their peers.” [35:44]

Final Thoughts and Tommy Truth

• Tommy closes with gratitude and a tactical reminder about reciprocity:
  “Our techs call the customer on the way and say, ‘I’m stopping for coffee, can I get you something?’ It’s unexpected, it’s thoughtful, and it starts the relationship off on the right foot. That’s the principle of reciprocity in action.” [38:07]

Segment Timelines

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | Benjamin Franklin quote on self-interest and persuasion | | 02:06 | Cialdini on democratizing access to his research | | 03:07 | Defining ethical influence | | 04:15 | The six (then seven) principles of persuasion | | 06:31 | The “we” study on unity in relationships | | 08:45 | Commitment example — reducing restaurant no-shows | | 09:38 | Practical social proof (neighborhood, choices) | | 12:48 | Authority: Leveraging expert testimonials | | 13:55 | Liking: Show you like the customer | | 15:20 | Scarcity: Making rare/unique value clear | | 17:30 | Changing minds vs changing habits | | 19:08 | Franklin quote, empathy, putting them in your boat | | 22:16 | “We’re expensive, but you’re worth it” — L’Oreal story | | 23:13 | Berkshire Hathaway/Charlie Munger/Reciprocity story | | 25:24 | The mints and tipping study | | 27:27 | Honesty and specificity in metrics | | 31:01 | Building community and company culture through unity | | 32:08 | Charlie Munger on inclusive capitalism and helping others | | 33:25 | Cialdini’s favorite personal habit (tackling hard tasks directly) | | 34:58 | The upcoming Influence Unleashed event | | 35:44 | How to choose the best people for learning and teaching influence | | 38:07 | Tommy Truth: Reciprocity in practice |

Key Takeaways

• Ethical influence is about education, not coercion.
• The most successful persuasion frames benefits in the listener’s self-interest.
• Use Cialdini’s Seven Principles (Reciprocity, Commitment, Social Proof, Authority, Liking, Scarcity, Unity) deliberately and ethically.
• Unity is a new, powerful driver—use “we” and inclusiveness to build buy-in.
• Honest, specific numbers, and upfront admissions of weaknesses, build more trust than boastful, vague claims.
• Implement changes incrementally for real habit-building.
• The impact of these principles is universal: “People don’t sink the boats they’re riding in.”
• Give first, genuinely, and watch reciprocation (personal, business, or even at the table).

(This summary preserves the insight, flow, and tone of the original episode, and presents the essential lessons and memorable quotes for easy reference. Timestamps allow for quick location of key moments.)