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- [00:01]
A
Hello and welcome to the 40 Athletes podcast. Before we get started, be sure to sign up for our free five day course on how to navigate your kid through sports. It's in the description below and it'll help give you tips and strategies to help you and your child have a better sports experience. Now, let's begin. Welcome to episode 84 of the 40 athletes podcast. I'm your co host, Jason Holzer, along with my buddies, Jimmy Hubert. Jimmy, good morning to you.
- [00:29]
B
Good morning you, Jason.
- [00:30]
A
You know, it's unseasonably warm here I feel like for September, but I'll take it at the same time. And you know, we also have a great guest on as well today who I'm excited to share with you getting into how to win the mental game today. And I know you and I talked about that a lot, how that's so important but so overlooked at the same time.
- [00:50]
B
Well, it's even like today I have a, you know, when you talk about that at a parent, that I'm kind of communicating back the email work, working with her child this year, coach a basketball team. And she was like, you know, my son's struggling with anxiety, depression and I've struggled that with that throughout my life. So she's talking about ways that we can help him. So that's something I'm going to have a conversation with them, talk about. Like I said, to win that inner game, the mental side of it is so important. We focus so much on the outside, right. The achievements. But Jason, you and I know we've seen tremendous athletes at high levels that have had success and all of a sudden they take their life. Right. So it might look good on the outside, but it's maybe not great on the inside. And that's that inside piece that we got to really understand more and develop more in these young people through the sports. So they're going to have these skill sets, be able to succeed in life, especially when life gets challenging and difficult, right?
- [01:47]
A
Yeah. Even for them to learn to be able to learn how to communicate like what's going on with them and be able to feel comfortable in doing that too. I know for me, it took me a long time to even say, like, oh man, I'm not feeling my best today or I feel different or. And so just having that freedom of being able to communicate, that is huge as well. And you know, our guest today is Larissa Mills and she's the founder of Mental Game Academy. She's a mental skills educator as well as a, she's been a teacher she's worked with parents, coaches, and athletes who. And we're excited to have her on today because, you know, to really dive in a lot of these topics because of a lot of expertise that she has. So, Larissa, good morning to you, and welcome to the show.
- [02:24]
C
Hello there. I want to say J and J, because. Yeah, it's J and J. And I. I have to admire Jim. I'm liking that T shirt.
- [02:33]
B
Well, I appreciate that. Yeah, that's nice. So we got a little blue, red going and a little combination. So we're color coordinated, which is good, too.
- [02:40]
C
Yeah. Did you plan that?
- [02:43]
B
Usually we do, but today we did not.
- [02:44]
C
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
- [02:46]
A
And even sometimes when we have our friend Jonathan on, then it's JJ and Jay, so it's even another.
- [02:51]
C
I would like to say that. I would like to say that.
- [02:54]
A
Well, Larissa, you know, thank you again for joining us today, and I just want to give us some background here. You know, when did you realize that there was such a need for these mental skills to be taught in a more intentional way? You know, how did you find like that? Like, hey, this needs to be done, and we need to raise awareness about this.
- [03:12]
C
I think it became very clear when we know that phones came in around 2007, right. And I started to see in my athletes, they couldn't run around the gym. They were starting to quit. They were less coordinated. They were more obese. And I'm like, what is going on? Why are they so moody? Why? What. What is this? What is happening? And then it was happening in the classroom, too. And so I studied. I actually did a lot of research, and I worked with different people. I started to write a book and talk to different psychologists, the pediatricians, the family doctors, the ER doctors. I'm like, what is going on? Our stats keep going up, and as I notice, we have two things, two factors to play here as kids go on in life. By 16, they're on phones for about 12, 13,000 hours. But what this does do is they lose all their mental skills. Resilience, emotional intelligence, socialization, their abilities to cope. And I just said, you know what? Why don't we just teach them their coping mechanisms, their steps to resilience, their steps to emotional intelligence. So we wrote a program that basically is from more 13 and up, but now it's for Olympic or professional. And we pilot different teams at different times, too, but we teach these mental skills to the athletes. And. And I am blown away by what they're saying. I'm blown away every day. One of them Said, I'm so happy to be in control of my phone now, Larissa, because I'm in control of my thoughts. I can control my own thoughts all the time. I go to bed without a phone, I feel happier. I'm sleeping more. I'm not anxious because phones make us sort of rev our nervous system when we look at that neurological system and reaction. So when they check their phones 176 times a day, their nervous system is doing this. So that's why they feel more anxious. And technically, as we all know, because we're talking about coaching, it's making it harder to coach when they come with less skills. Right? So it's.
- [05:26]
B
Larissa, go into this, though. Like, you know, you see in athletics and you see over the years, I mean, you know, I've coached and I've seen coaches, like, you know, we focus on the physical side, and we're practices, we're focused on teaching, you know, skill sets and teaching concepts and stuff like that to make kids better performers and the team's better. Yeah, but I remember hearing, like, Chris Beard of Texas Tech, he worked under Bobby Knight, and he said one of the phrases Knight had was like, mental is the, physical is three is the one. And the idea was, the mental piece is so important. How can you speak to maybe coaches and parents out there to understand, like, they have their kids playing sports, but what are things that they should be doing to help their kids develop skill sets through sports, especially the mental part of it?
- [06:12]
C
Well, there's actually parents have the most opportunity to help their kids, Right? So let's put that right out there. Parents can make the most influential changes in their athletes. And when we work. We're working with NCAA and we work with sports agents, and I hear, Larissa, you really have to come in and help educate our parents. I go through a standard list. So we go down a list of what the NCAA is now looking for. And actually, that's changed over the last four years. You'll see now they want to see that you're actually talking to your teachers and that you are stable. Right? You're balanced. They check your Instagrams, they're checking your accounts. They don't want to see all of that. They want to see that you're a good person. They want to see your work ethic. They want to see your grit. So, parents, unless you're teaching this at home, you're taking your kid out of the mix now completely. Because if we don't teach our kids mental skills at home, they. There's no way they're going to be able to compete at a high pressure situation, especially if it's maybe not the coach that you desire and the pressure. Right. Because if we're coming less equipped as kids, they can't handle everything going on as well anymore because we simply don't. They kids don't socialize as much as they used to and that's why we're seeing the change now if we were, if we didn't have phones here now, this wouldn't. I don't think we'd see the high anxiety, depression and suicide stats that we are seeing now and the addiction centers that are opening up.
- [07:45]
A
Well, you know, it goes back to like kids do what you do, they don't do what you say per se. So as parents, you know, said like we need to be the example of what to do, be the, you know, show them. So you know, if parents don't have these skill sets then how we can't expect the kids to have them. So as parents, what advice would you give to parents to hey, like do a check in on yourself. What are you showing? What example are you giving, you know, to your kids? And then maybe do like a little bit of a house check, you know, on yourself. And what things could I do in place to maybe make sure I am a good example?
- [08:17]
C
Yeah, well first of all you can get educated. There's lots of resources out there through NCAA or through our website as well. And your website we have lots of parenting courses that can really help because our the parenting courses combined between 40 athletes in the mental game academy. We teach parents how to be a better role model to your kids, how to actually actionables, how to do that. It means connect with your kid. Don't go on your phone, don't let them go on the phone in the car. Talk to them. Because if there's two psychologists that are very fearful right now, if we are not talking to our kids, they're talking to someone else. Right. And so if we don't build trust and that bond of attachment with them, they're not going to, they're not going to be stable children. They're going to have behavioral issues and they're not going to be able to function because let's face it, when we work with our very elite athletes and professional athletes, they're still struggling. Let's put that out there. They don't have it all perfect. They all have to do some type of work whether it's technique or the. They have self doubt and social media does a great job of tanking self doubt individually in athletes. So athletes I. I met with a professional baseball player and I said, so what was it like in. In Korea? He goes, well, if you stayed off social media, you only played yourself and you spoke with your coach for feedback, you don't. He goes, the Koreans tended to go on social media and get. And they had a high suicide rate. Right. In professional sports because they don't have any coping mechanisms. And they basically got their feedback from their fans after games, which is not what you want to do. And it's really not effective. Right. But I think going back to what you're saying, Jason, is we do have educational courses. There are ways of parents saying, okay, am I showing digital wellness to my kids? If you want your kid to be off your phone, then we need to be off our phone. If we want our kids to go to bed on time and wake up happy, energetic, and perform well, sleep is the number one determining factor of that right now. It used to be a few others. Now sleep is. NCAA has put millions into sleep and gaming addiction in studies and research. I believe that's an interesting thing to note. So if the NCAA is seeing it, we should be aware of what they're trying to correct.
- [10:38]
A
Yeah.
- [10:39]
B
And that, that's one thing like you talk about, like Jay's talking about modeling his parents. I think, like, what are some of the suggestions you can give parents? Maybe it's at home and say we're not going to have phones during, you know, dinner time.
- [10:51]
C
No.
- [10:52]
B
Or breakfast. We're not going to have phones like, you know, a certain time in the evening. Like I've heard that. Where maybe the kids don't have their phones in their rooms. Their phones are set aside. That way they can get good sleep because otherwise the phones are with them. Maybe checking text.
- [11:08]
C
Yeah.
- [11:08]
B
Getting dings, whatever, notifications in the morning. The first thing they do is check their phones. Right.
- [11:14]
C
And that starts the addiction cycle right away.
- [11:16]
B
Or there are kind of suggestions you can give. Maybe here's some tips that parents can do at home or with their kids to make sure there's a balance with the phone and not having that addiction.
- [11:27]
C
We place a heavy focus in the first three grow sessions of our program on balancing the phone use. So we put the kids on a routine and we actually get the parents to help us do that. Right. So we need the support of the parents and the coaches are in big support of this. Right. Because the coaches want to give the athletes the best opportunity they have to be to reach their optimum performance. So Number one is let's not have phones in rooms daytime or nighttime. Nothing good happens after 10 o' clock on a phone. Right. It doesn't, it doesn't in a kid's world. So let's remove the phones from the rooms altogether and put a control app that allows the kids to be on their phone and talk to friends. But be very wary of which apps have backdoor privacy issues because there are many apps that do that. Also, which apps are appropriate for your children's age and level of maturity. Most kids right now, the latest statistic coming out of Britain is most kids are addicted to TikTok. TikTok, based on what the neurologists are saying is is just waste of full time for the brain. And the brain just keeps getting the dopamine and they keep wanting to stay on it. So let's reduce some of that social media on the phone. The other part is if we can talk more with our kids and we can put a routine in there for them to talk to their friends, but also talk to our own kids and talk quality time with them. Play checkers, play cards. I mean, I don't know how many rounds of what's that President I've played with my kids. Right. Like just that time I bring cards to tournaments with my kids. I even bring paper airplanes for hockey tournaments. Just keep them talking. All kids, their friends keep them over and keep the phones out of sight and encourage play, encourage talking. More wonderful for the brain. As new studies show dementia and Alzheimer's are starting to creep up before 40 years old. Oh, wow. Yeah. Based on Dr. John Hutton's study, I believe out of Cleveland Hospital. But Jim, those are the things. Keep the phones out of the room, decrease the amount of social media, have set times to use the phones and you can actually have control apps. And on our, our, our program we actually have control apps for parents. But interesting. I even have elite athletes that are putting control apps on their own phones so that they don't go on it during homework time for. Because they mandatory have one hour of work hour every day. Whether or not they have homework or not, they can jump ahead and get other work done. So we have a high priority on academics. So it's about prioritizing the values at home because they certainly won't do it when they're away from you.
- [14:02]
A
Yeah, well, you know, there's also this, you know, I want to get into like the, the age of when, you know, it's good to like when is it, when's it to introduce it because there Is this new movement called like wait till 8th meaning like wait till they're 14 years?
- [14:16]
C
Yeah, we've coordinated on a few things. So I think you're going to see the pendulum swing completely the other way almost to no phones again because there's, it's just too destructive for children who don't have formulated thoughts and they don't have the psychological development right now. The psychiatrists and physicians that we speak to say that the average 16 year old is behind immaturity and psychological development at 14. So Jim, when you were saying your coat, like we're coaching more elite athletes, but they're harder to coach. It's because they don't have the decision making, they don't have the maturity, they don't have that confidence because they're kind of behind. And that's not because of the pandemic. It's added to it, but it's not directly a causation of it. So, Jason, to go back to that age, I think the sooner you start with phone routines, the sooner you start with balancing and being and showing that they're part of our lives. But they don't need to control our lives. The younger the better.
- [15:14]
B
And that's, that's where you say like Larissa, like I've seen like third graders, fourth graders have like smartphones and everything on it and they're, they're on the YouTube and they're on these other areas. So my, what we've done and my wife's, she'll research stuff. She's really good at that. And so she told my son's a fourth grader because he'll want to ride his bike to areas and do things. And she's like, we're gonna get you a gab phone and all you can do is be able to text us and be able to communicate with us. You're not going to be able to go this, it's not something you can go on the Internet. You can't go on anything. So I've heard that maybe suggestions like with parents like you can start with things like that that are more kid friendly, that they can communicate with you and not be able to get on social media or the Internet or stuff like that.
- [16:00]
C
I'm actually going to plug three things that are three methodologies along that same line. So if you want the dynamic stage phone that grows with your child, a Trumi is a great phone. And they sponsor the Mental Game Academy, the other just amazing technology software that has come out of South Africa from Rochelle Best has actually helped several Children, mine included in being protected by things that were inappropriate going on in the schools, like I mean almost illegal. So what that does is it goes on the phone and you can see every three seconds what is on the screen. You can see who's bullying, who's being bullied and who's talking to your child. This has caught predators, this has caught lures, this has caught people who are bullying who they believe. Like I've told you, this kid's bullying, this kid's bullying. And now parents are putting the FYI play it safe on their phones just to catch the bulliers.
- [16:53]
B
So what's the name of that you said?
- [16:55]
C
It's called FYI play it safe. It's the founder is Rochelle Best. She's absolutely a genius. She works in the tech industry. And I have to say that this, this is an option for our parents to put on their kids phones if they want. But staying away and delaying the phone is still the best psychologically. Absolutely the best. You will have more high performance athletes who are on their phone less, hands down. So yeah. So Jim, the other thing was when they're little you can get them a watch. Cosmo watches are pretty good and I've done some work with them as well with my I parent gen parenting side of things. So those are three trumphones fy play it safe. And you have your Cosmo watch for the little kids if you want to. But delaying a phone with the, if you are just going to hand them a phone and say yeah, go on the Internet, their addiction rate goes sky high.
- [17:56]
B
Well, I've heard that Larissa, like they talk about, are you just going to give a kid keys to car and say go out and drive the car? You're not, they're gonna what, take driving lessons?
- [18:06]
C
You're not gonna throw them in the pool without a swimming lesson.
- [18:08]
B
But we give, we give kids, we just give them a phone, we give them Internet access. We give them when we have no parameters, we don't teach them and understand it. The one thing I want to dive into you mentioned is social media because there's been so many and I, I like, I watched a documentary is really good social dilemma.
- [18:24]
C
Very good.
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B
And it was. And this has like people from like that were with Facebook and YouTube and different ones and they talk about they stopped working there because on these gadgets they're getting these dopamine hits and they're getting these people down these paths and they're preying on the emotions of people. Right. And so for me it's like with kids really get on social media and all of a sudden maybe everybody's portraying pictures. Maybe they didn't get invited to go to a party. I know there's pictures and they feel left out. Whatever it is. Is there something like on the social media stuff that people, maybe parents can monitor more, can like with their kids at a certain age be able to be like, hey, you're on it certain period of time, but maybe it' during when we can see the screen or whatever it is and maybe there's conversations or having about how they're feeling about certain things they're seeing on social media.
- [19:12]
C
Yeah, this all depends on age, Jim. So I would never give kids Snapchat at 8 years old. I I, or Instagram or any social media. I don't believe in giving kids a phone under 14 at all. That's where I stand. People say your kid has a phone. I'm like, well, it's his sister's phone and he can't get anything on it. So he might play a game on it, but he can't get anything on it. Right. Like he does have something called discord during the pandemic to talk to friends. But I monitor it and again, FYI, play it safe is on there and can watch it. I can, I can go back and see what he's doing. But mostly I let him use it in front of me. He has to be in the same room as me. And, and to answer your question, Jim, there. Are we really, are we really going to subject our children to when we go to put them on social media? I mean, there are girls and boys who are 16 years old in our and our program who are sick and tired of social media. It makes them tired. Like they doubt themselves. They don't think they look as good. They, they feel inadequate. They're jealous. So I'm like, so nine out of every ten times you're looking at social media and it's taking your good energy and it's taking your good fuel, what fuel's left over for your sport and you so there. Once we got them down in their social media use and we increased their sleep and then we added social skills and confidence. My, my kids are happy, they're confident, they're engaging. They're their, their parents are saying they're, they're just simply. Their kids are really focused now and the performance is there. So when we take the skills away from kids or we're not teaching them and then we add social media is a horrible first suicide and depression.
- [21:07]
B
Well, that's the other thing you mentioned too is like with kids, I almost think if they're going to have a social media account, the parents, you got to know the username and passwords they do.
- [21:14]
C
You absolutely need to be able to
- [21:16]
B
get into them because if you don't, you can't get into them and see what's going on and to monitor it.
- [21:21]
C
Oh, that can be really good. The things I have caught on my kids phones or I actually went through my kids followers years ago there were three women who were 45. I showed their pictures to the police, they put them in and they were known human traffickers with pedophile rings. And that's just going in. And he was too young, he was about 14 I think when I let him have his first Instagram and I monitored it with him. But over a weekend or something he had, you know, the kids on the teams were like, well if you don't have a thousand followers, you're just a nobody. This is to boys in a dressing room. And the bully on the team was like, you know, so here are the rest of the boys, what do they do? They go out and just add to anybody they want to be to have more followers because their world begins and ends online, not in person. And we're actually seeing, and this is so sad, kids are losing the value of friendship and it's affecting their teammate situation on teams they're not as close, they're not as tight. Right. And it's really affecting team cohesiveness.
- [22:32]
B
I even saw a statistic that had, I think it's the average age of nine now is seeing pornography.
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C
Oh, pornography went up 498% in the
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B
pandemic and I think it's like 70% or 80% of it is pornography. That's abusive.
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C
Yeah.
- [22:50]
B
Being abusive to ladies. So these, they're, they're seeing porn and they're seeing abusive in relationships. And that's conditioned at a young age. I think this is right. And I'm like we got to stop this. We got, we gotta, we gotta protect our kids, their minds. Right.
- [23:06]
C
Well and as you know Jim, there are several very well known stories right now in the world in different areas of sports where treating women like this and believing that this is okay. We're raising really horrible gentlemen right now through this. You know, that's not the way we're supposed to treat someone, whether it's a man or a woman in a relationship. Right. It doesn't like if you're going to treat them with violence or assault them. This is not okay. Right. But in high elite professional sports it seems to be okay. And let's hide it and pay the person off.
- [23:42]
B
Well, that's why I think as coaches we have a responsibility with, you know, individuals who are coaching and mentoring. I don't care if it's a second grader, a fifth grader, an eighth grader and they could be, you know, competitive or recreational kids. Everybody wants to coach the high elite athletes, but even those like we, we have a responsibility for the mold and shape these individuals into great young people.
- [24:05]
C
And we can't.
- [24:07]
B
Right?
- [24:08]
C
Yeah, yeah. We have the ability. And I think it all starts young. And I think that also, also Jim, to add to that, girls watching pornography has gone up because they think this is what the boys, they should know what to do with the boys. So it's both gone up on both sides. So it's becoming quite volatile. And the latest violent dating and assaults have skyrocketed as well.
- [24:37]
B
The thing, thing you mentioned earlier, you talk about self doubt.
- [24:40]
C
Yep.
- [24:41]
B
And you know, we, big one, we're worse inner critic. We, we self doubt ourselves when other people might be critical of us. And social media, as you mentioned, causes us to even doubt ourselves even more.
- [24:52]
C
Just like this.
- [24:52]
B
And you do, I know you do training and have courses on like the inner self talk and being maybe your inner cheerleader instead of your inner critic. Because can you talk about how we can help our, you know, our kids, our athletes become be aware of how they can be critical of themselves and how to be more of a positive credit card cheerleader to help them succeed in life?
- [25:15]
C
Sure. What we do at the mental gaming program is first thing we have to teach self talk. Self talk is the number one determining factor to prevent mental health. Okay. The second to that is we teach them nine different negative self talk strategies to stop negative self talk. So for four weeks our athletes had to actually we had, we get them to have a metaphorical box or take a check. Every time they thought negatively about themselves, they had to stop think first of all just where it happened. Okay. So let's take a football team or hockey team. It was interesting. Some was at school. But the highest majority of negative self doubt or thoughts that they had were actually a practice or just before a game, which was interesting. And normal heightened anxiety like they're ready, their adrenaline's going. So we had this little box and this box, I cannot tell you. We had kids thinking 40 and 50 negative thoughts about themselves on a daily basis. That's not healthy. And, and I said now where does this Fit into social media. Were you thinking this way more after social media? You watched it or before? And they're like no, after. And this was, this became quite common. So. And it stays there and the wiring in our brain stays there until we go, oh no, no, I have a negative thought. Okay, I'm going to use strategy B. Strategy B is water off a duck's back. So that negative thought, replace it with a good thought and let the negative thought slide off our backs. So here we are at a prospects camp with a few of our athletes and you know, you've got these really big, you know, gentlemen and they're able to say, you know what, I am a force, I am strong, I am a problem solver, I am going to kill this. And their negative self talk starts wiring this way in their brains neuros like right. And it's decreasing these negative self thoughts. So we teach the kids self talk 20 more times a day. We teach them to do their mantras at night, their mantras in the morning and they have their pre game talk, the pre practice talk and we teach them to divide their anxieties up. So if you're at school, focus on school, focus on what's in front of you every day. One thing. What? One task at a time. Too many kids are trying to multitask and that actually just causes more anxiety. But yeah, you're, you're right. We are self talk strategies which there's about 20 that we teach and then the negative self talk strategies, we go over each one and we go over several ways in which we can modify that strategy individually and customize it for a kid. Because what works for one kid, the replacement theory of negative self talk works really well for others. So when you, when you think of a bad thing about yourself, I'm like, well, I want you to instantly replace it with a good thought, any good thought. So. Oh, I feel really, I, I feel really fat in this clothes. No, no, no. I eat really well, I'm really strong. I'm, I'm, I feel really good about myself and say it three times to replace the negative thought. And within two weeks I saw incredible changes and so did the coaches.
- [28:30]
A
When and, and can you get into like the importance of also not only like saying the things positive but also feeling the positive emotions? Well because you know you can think it, you can repeat it but if you don't internally believe it and like feel the positivity like you can, you can do it off road memory and try to repeat it often and often. But when you when you combine positive emotions with those words, then that starts to like, really start to change their inner dialogue. And really they start to believe in themselves more because they feel the words, not just say them.
- [29:02]
C
Yeah. And we, we get to that point. But once they scientifically see that they're thinking that less negative self talk, they can see the numbers decreasing. They start to see the increase in the positive self talk. So the science and the math talk, then they start believing it, Then they start believing it in themselves. But ultimately we give them other strategies like gratitude tests and accomplishment lists. Right. Like just a simple five step accomplishment list. I'm like, what? Why do you think that coach chose you? And they're like, well, I don't know. I guess I'm pretty, I'm pretty fast. I'm like, no, you're on an elite Canadian hockey team. You're more than fast. You are strong. You are. You have hockey iq. You have this, you have this, you have this. I can list 20 things. So I want to hear from you what you believe in yourself. And the list starts small and then we add to it and then they start self talking. We get rid of this negative loop and we replace it with a positive one. And now they barely have these negative thoughts. It's actually amazing.
- [30:05]
B
I think that goes back to Larissa, though. Sometimes I don't know if you've experienced this or have athletes, but you might give them positive self talk and they're like, they write it down. They might say like, oh man, this, this isn't true. Or this, I'm not going to believe this. So they don't feel emotionally. I remember like reading and think and grow rich when Napoleon Hill talked about Andrew Carnegie. Oh, wrote like a self talk, talking about how he was going to pass Andrew Carnegie. And he's like, you know, I'm not going to do this. And he goes, well, you're not going to do it unless you believe it. So he said he went into his bathroom by himself. Look at the mirror. And when he initially started doing this, he was like really, like mumbling it, not talking it with confidence. Then all of a sudden he said the more he did it daily. And it's like a model. He started like saying it bigger and passion, whatever. So it could be that self talk. The more you do it, right?
- [30:57]
C
Yeah.
- [30:57]
B
The more you start seeing some positive results, the more you get convicted with it.
- [31:01]
A
Right.
- [31:01]
C
Because if you're down here all the time talking to yourself and on social media constantly not sleeping well, you're going to stay down here. You're not going to perform, you're not going to feel happy. And then, I mean, this is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, right? The more we have kids stay down here. This is what I'm worried about. Because it used to be one or two kids out of 30. Now it's 17 out of 30 that have some type of mental issue, right? Mental health issue. And that concerns me because we are barely getting them, you know, here. Our parents aren't teaching the mental skills. Education is not teaching mental skills. There's long lists for the psychotherapists, psychologists, psychiatrists out there. The two years, two years waiting list for some of them here in Canada. And these simple programs here, we have long lists for sports psychologists. But these programs here in Canada are being used for athletes to help with anxiety and depression.
- [31:54]
B
And that, that's the other thing I, I've heard in the research is showing, like, people don't even love themselves. They don't even like themselves. Sometimes if you love yourself, it's hard to love other people. So I've even heard the strategy and done it myself where it's like the eye test, like looking through a mirror, looking through your eyes and saying, I love you. I love you.
- [32:11]
C
I'm a good.
- [32:12]
B
I love you. Like hugging yourself to say that, kissing yourself. And I love you. I know it seems weird. I tell kids this. You might, but you can be in a closed door in the bathroom, but love you like you love yourself for who you are. When you can love yourself, then you can love others.
- [32:28]
C
We, we do have this one session where we're like, we have the growth sessions, right, with the kids. And on some of our exercises that I put up diagrams and they have to fill out the forms of why they like themselves. That's a very. They sit there, why do I, why do I, Why do I like. I'm like, all right, well, I'm going to start. And I just start. I'm like, I believe in myself and I, I really like myself. You know, I have flaws, yes, I work through them, I work with them. Everyone does. But you have to have a list. You, to like yourself, you have to have a list of the things you like about yourself. And I tell you, the littler kids actually do a better job of this than the older kids because the younger kids don't have the bad habits and haven't been on the social media and had the constant negative thoughts or the pressure or the abusive coaches or nagging parents. Right? Because that's the other thing. The car ride home is also Becoming quite a toxic environment for kids. And when I found out one of the kids had committed suicide here in Canada that we knew in someone's program, they had written a letter and saying that they just, they wanted to play football and their parents made them play this sport. And they, their parents never listened to them. And the parents just nagged the person, the child, all the way home. That broke my heart. For probably a week, I was not feeling right. And if we can help kids like that, we're helping kids find their sport, speak to their parents and want to switch. I'm not a. I'm not well liked by the parents, but I sure as heck want your kid to be happy. Right. So if we can find your kid to find a sport they love, that's my job.
- [34:08]
A
Yeah, you know, it's, it's interesting too, Lori, that you say that because, you know, it's, it's such a great time to like, hey, you know what? I love how you did your best out there. Or like, it's a great way to connect with your kid or even like, you know, just completely if they had a tough day. But, you know, let's go out and do something fun or whatever, you know, and then let them bring it up on their own.
- [34:29]
C
I let my guys talk before. I didn't. I had to learn and navigate this as myself. With my oldest, it became very apparent because she was a competitive swimmer and, and I don't understand swimming. It's not, not my sport. And I had to learn how to. I had to learn how to dialogue. I don't want to monologue with my child. I want to dialogue. And I wanted dialogue with all my athletes and I want them to be able to feel trust with me. So the car ride home should be a sanctuary for them to come in and sit there. And I mean, my kid the other day, he goes, mom, did you hear the kid on the field burp when he kicked the ball? I was like, no, I didn't, honey. He goes, it was huge, mom. And they're like 11 and they're running around. I want him to be able to get in the car and tell me things because if he's not going to come to you for those little things, do you think they're going to come to you when it's more serious later on?
- [35:18]
A
Right? And that's a. My wife and I talk about that too. Like, we have a six and three year old. We always like, hey, how are we speaking to our kids? Like, are they, you know, the tone of what we say things, you know, and sometimes, you know, we all get frustrated, like, that happens, but still, like, you know, if we want our kids to be kind and friendly to other people, we gotta make sure of other people or. I love this quote. It's like your outer voice becomes their inner voice.
- [35:41]
C
And I'm like, it is. That's key.
- [35:44]
A
There's never been a more profound quote from parenting that. That maybe it's like, stop in the middle of my tracks. I'm like, oh, man, I really need to be aware. More aware of what I'm saying and more so how I'm saying it to them.
- [35:57]
C
Right. Because if we can't show them what regulation looks like and decision making in a mature way, and we're just yelling and spouting off now. Yeah, we've had family tantrums. We begin arguments. We.
- [36:10]
A
We're. We're.
- [36:10]
C
We're, you know, pretty normal, but we really try to be. Show them reasoning power, decision making. Okay, well, you have a choice to do this, and I let them choose. Okay. This is your def. Decision. I don't say a word. It's not something I would have chosen. I'll let them feel the ramifications of what their choice is. And if there are any, I'll be like, oh, darn, I really wish, you know, But. But they have to make their own decisions, and they have to face them. And if my kids fail, I'm like, use your failure as fuel. What did you learn?
- [36:40]
B
Yeah.
- [36:41]
A
And even, like, you know, if you feel super frustrated, like, I know my wife and I said, you know what? Daddy needs a timeout. I'm just gonna breathe and walk away.
- [36:48]
C
And then you don't walk away and count to 100 in German like most parents do. I have to go away and count 100 in French. And I'm outside on the back porch, and my dad walked up the other, like a month ago or something, and he goes, counting again, are you? And he goes. And that was his technique.
- [37:07]
B
He.
- [37:07]
C
He had. He had reached his level, you know, teaching us math or something at home. We were kids, because that's where usually the. You know, and he would leave out on the back deck, and you could hear him count backwards by a hundred. To just calm the mind, it takes a minute or two. So you have to use techniques when
- [37:25]
B
you say that, though, like emotional intelligence, you know, the emotions get the best of us, you know, in sports and alive. And like Jason said, I remember my older son a few years back, he was acting a certain way to my younger son I'm like, oh, my God, that's me. That's how I act when I, you know, get upset or frustrated. So I had to really shift because not what you say, it's what you do. They emulate you.
- [37:48]
C
Yeah.
- [37:49]
B
So speak to that in a sense, like, what can we do as parents and as coaches, Techniques and strategies, like counting 100 in German or going to hug a tree. What are things we can do to get our emotions?
- [37:59]
C
Challenge is to learn how to. To count in Russian. Because then I really might learn how to count.
- [38:04]
B
Yeah.
- [38:04]
C
But, you know, like, I started to look it up on Duolingo. I'm like, no. I'm like, no.
- [38:11]
B
But, you know, how do. How do we get back. They call it get back to neutral, to where we can be, you know, our emotions under control. We're making wise decisions. We can emulate this for the children. Yeah. And then how can we help our children when they're struggling with anxiety in sports and.
- [38:25]
C
Right.
- [38:25]
B
The emotions have made a mistake and they're struggling with that. How can we help them regulate that as well?
- [38:31]
C
When something happens, like, I don't know, let's say kid drops his ice cream. Right. Just got as ice cream cone. It drops. They're like three or four. They don't really have all the best reasoning powers yet. So you kind of gotta let it come off and say, oh, no, like that here. You know, I. I get your. I get you're frustrated. Why are you angry? I drop my ice cream. I'd be angry too, because ice cream's really good. But you know what? Let's just go get another one. It's just a mistake. And if we act like it's nothing, watch them respond with a quick snap out of it. But if we go, stop crying. Why are you crying? It's just ice cream. If you're screaming at them, that actually escalates them. They become more anxious and you're actually. It's going to take longer for the tantrum and you just infused it. But I mean, I have three kids, so we drop lots of ice cream. So I'm like, oh, darn, can we still get it up? Oh, well, I'll give you my ice cream. And then I just. You let it go. I'm like, it's just ice cream. Yeah, it's not your fault. Milk at the table. You don't yell.
- [39:38]
A
It's just spilled milk and acknowledging their, you know, like, their frustrations. Like, oh, I totally get. Man, I would be frustrated too if
- [39:45]
C
I dropped I like ice cream.
- [39:46]
A
I Love. It's so good. Yeah. You know, I mean, so. And making them feel like, oh, it's not just me feeling this way, or like, oh, man, whenever I was a kid, I dropped my ice cream and I felt the same way. Like, oh, you did too? Yeah.
- [39:58]
C
Now, in terms of older kids, Jim, I think your question was. So we actually teach coaches how various strategies to calm down because coaches can. They're competitive athletes too. Right. And they get, I think, a lot of the weight of the pressure, winning and losing on them as well. Although coaches that don't train to lose don't understand the coaching, I don't think. I mean, if we're training really to coach, we got to at least be prepared to lose. Right. And, and I heard a coach the other day, a football coach. I was, I was like, I was like, can you just say that again and I'll record it. He said, boys, that game was on me. I did not coach you well enough on defense. That was all me, not you. You guys were great. And I could not believe the emotional intelligence, the awareness, the empathy, the regulation. He didn't scream. He, he, he was aware of what happened. It was obvious that the defense needed help. Their, their offense was actually okay, but their defense needed more movement and they just were. They're very young team. And he didn't. Yeah. So he gave the kids room to fail. Guess what that does to the kids. Psych psyche. They feel like they can fail and he's not going to yell at them. That's huge. That is. I was like, can I bottle this moment? Like, it was amazing. I was amazing. If we can get more coaches to that intellectual level, that emotional intelligence level, our kids are going to be happier and stay in sports longer.
- [41:32]
B
I've had to learn that because when I initially started coaching, when I was younger, you know, it would be a time out in basketball.
- [41:37]
C
Oh, you're young. So young.
- [41:39]
B
Yeah. But I would be like, upset and I'd be like, for the minute of the time out, getting upset. Why are we doing this and doing this? And you're getting on them and you're not being like, okay, we did this. Okay, let's move on. Let's figure out what we're going to do to make this better. And so now, like, just my, I guess, experience of coaching and learning and growing, I'm like, okay, I have to handle myself first. Stop. Like I said, if I got a negative thought, switch with a positive thought. Breathe. Right. Get myself emotional, in control and then speak about things I want because a Lot of times you speak like, don't turn it over. Gosh thing I said, don't do this. You're telling them don't. But you're like, they hear that. They hear like, they don't hear the don't they hear like the turnover.
- [42:21]
C
Yeah.
- [42:21]
B
So I had to change the way I speak to them so me control myself as a coach. Because we talk about, we'll tell them like, settle down, settle down, calm down. Well, how they call them like that. Right. Like, I got to talk to them a certain way of what I want them to do.
- [42:34]
C
Right.
- [42:35]
B
So when the coaches. I see that. But also the parents, like from the sidelines, the parents are yelling and screaming. They're upset. Or the kid makes mistake.
- [42:42]
A
Oh, died.
- [42:43]
B
Oh, God. They're all. And kids can feel that. Can you speak from a parent?
- [42:48]
C
You 10 mistakes every game. It does. It doesn't matter which child. It doesn't matter which sport. It almost doesn't matter which level you will make 10 unforced errors or 10 mistakes again. But as you age, right. We still see professionals are making mistakes. Olympians are making mistakes. So why are we. Why are parents upset at such a young age with the least amount of development, worried when their kid makes a mistake? I've taught our kids and our athletes, I quote, yeah, I made a mistake. Yeah. Why did I make it? What do I need to do? I'll practice that 10 more times. They, I. We give our athletes automatic feedback loops, so when they make a mistake, they use it as fuel, they wipe it out and they go again and it becomes automatic. They feedback loop every day themselves. They do self analysis. They're very introspective. And if I said, if you're not doing your feedback every day and a self analysis, why do you need to always go to your coach and get feedback? You should be able to get feedback for you because if you are not looking at what you're doing and blaming others, that is not an effective team player either. Yeah. You always need to be stronger as you to be stronger for your team.
- [43:59]
B
That's the other you mentioned too. I think with parents understand is like after games, talking about the car ride home or just after games, it's almost like instead of acknowledging like the mistakes they made or sitting there acknowledging the points they had or, you know, they got a double double or whatever it is. It's like a knowledge like, you know, I noticed Larissa, you missed like three shots and you got the fourth opportunity and you didn't, like, you didn't hesitate. I Love that confidence that you kept throughout it. Or I saw the coach took you out, was kind of getting on you about something. You made eye contact, you listen, you took it in, you sat down, supported teammates, like, given examples of how they had life skills in that game.
- [44:38]
C
Yes.
- [44:39]
B
They can transfer into life
- [44:43]
C
like that. Will, those are extreme, like, intrinsic motivators. Because the more you say that a child is doing something like, oh, my gosh, that that person was really riling you, but you kept going at him. You kept going at them, and then you tried to be creative and go around. I'm really impressed by your thinking, because athletes need to be thinkers, to be creative and have different strategies. And if we're not creating thinkers and strategists, you know, to be better athletes, what are we doing?
- [45:12]
A
Well, that's silly. That's a little bit, like, instinctive as well. Not. Not overthinking and not worrying about, like, what's somebody going to think? As well as well, just being able to, like, go for it, know, and go right, you know, at the same time. So. Yeah.
- [45:23]
C
Yeah.
- [45:25]
B
Laura says, like, parents understanding, like, I'll tell kids. Yeah. And before, I wasn't mainly this, maybe, as a coach, because I. If they made mistake, I might take them out. Like, take them out. They make mistakes. When I was a younger coach, now, playing through it.
- [45:40]
C
Yes.
- [45:40]
B
But to tell them, like, you're gonna make mistakes, you gotta be aggressive. That's how you're going to become better. You're going to learn and grow through your mistakes. So don't be afraid of making a mistake. And I think as parents, we need to understand if we want our kids to expand and grow and get better in a sport, in life, they're going to have to make mistakes.
- [45:56]
C
They're going to have to work through season 10. Big Ones is usually how they. They'll. They'll develop. And you need a coach to allow them to make this mistake. And then for me, I'd be like, okay, so I coach volleyball or rowing. I'll be like, you did so well moving to the ball. And you really were reading their arms. I'm very impressed by that. You were very observant and quick. And then they would make a mistake and go do that again. What. What was it you need to do? Right? And I very quietly talk to them. They're like, I needed to look at their arm. I needed to see who was in power, whatever. It was quietly. And I wasn't. I don't yell. And they're like, all right, man, let's Go back in. And sometimes the other thing to do when as a coach, I found now this was something passed down to me. I can't take credit for this, but I will share it because this man is very sick right now. So he was an Olympic coach. He taught me volleyball and he. We were so lucky to have him here in our city. And he taught us to be thinkers, not just athletes. And he taught us to reset. He's like, I'm taking you out because you've missed five serves or whatever it is. I want you to come back on the bench and I want you to go through all your volleyball skills. Fundamental think. Think about each skill in your brain. Then I want you to go through all the offense in your brain. Then I want you to go through all your defense in your brain. When you're done, I want you to come with me. I'm going to put you back in. So he was. He didn't know what he was doing, I think, but he knew that he was calming us down and he knew that he was making us rethink our game because we've done a thousand serves, we've done a thousand bumps, we've done a thousand tips. And that re. I called it resetting. So we teach our athletes. Do you need to reset? Five seconds. That's five steps. That's all. You need to come over and collect yourself and go back out. Because if it's 21, 21, and you're serving, you don't want to miss the serve. It becomes their point. They win. It's a lot of pressure. So we have to. As coaches recognize when the kids need those. Those chances to reset. Sometimes I let them in. You're going to make. Yep. That's okay. You keep making mistakes because mistakes mean effort. I. I don't want to see no effort and laziness. I want to see energy. And you can't. You guys know as well as I do you can't coach intensity up. It's got to be there. Usually you can help it. You can build confidence to build intensity, but it's harder, takes longer.
- [48:20]
B
Well, that's. Why don't. I think I tell parents a lot is really think about who's coaching your child and you know, they're not telling you, like if it's maybe if they're being physically or mentally abusive.
- [48:32]
C
Yeah.
- [48:32]
B
You know, pull them out, but let them finish the season. But if the coaches and teach them how to become better through the sport or not making where they're becoming not only better in the sport. But better people. And you like the way that they're coach them in a positive way, right. Then find something different.
- [48:48]
C
Yeah. Like, and that's why I love In Europe, by 12, they have played every sport. They have done music and art because their country believes in the culture and the value of the child. Find what you like. That's what the country says in Netherlands, in Belgium and Sweden and Finland. Find what you like. So by 13, boom, they're in competitive hockey and that's all they do. They're in volleyball. That's all they do. They're in com. We have Team Sweden cheer. Like that's all they do. Right. But they are well rounded children. They're highly socialized. After school you're not allowed to go home. It's kind of neat. You're not home till six because, because the government pays for you to be in a program like art, crochet, music and then you got to go to basketball or football. I love it. Right. Like soccer. Soccer. There, football. But how we value our value system is well going to determine our, our futures and the impact on the athletes. Right. What do you value? What is your, what is your league value? And, and I know I'm an affiliate with One for All and it's really something that we, we make quite evident. What is your value system? And we help each system work based off your value system because you'll make and produce a better atmosphere for your athletes and a better culture. I can go in and look at a league and can be there as a consultant and I ask them for their value system. And how many of out of 10 do you think actually have a value system? Maybe 10%, 1, 1 or 2. And usually they said, well, yeah, it's to win. Well, at what cost? Because your parent complaints are sky high. Your coaches are leaving, so your retention's not good. You may be producing some cfl, NFL, whatever it is sport, but at what cost? Because your actual enrollment rate is dropping every year. So look at all your other evidence, right? And let's place your. Where's your value? If you go back to your value system them, you're here to develop an athlete. You're here to develop a person. You're here to make them feel like part of a community so they eventually give back. Right. And that's all you can ask in sports. And for someone to find a sport, they want to play them whole lives. Yeah, that's my goal. My dad plays 80. She got a hole in one the other day. It's like he still wants to Go out there and beat himself every day.
- [51:07]
A
That's impressive.
- [51:07]
C
Wow. My dad's awesome. Yeah. My dad was. He played coach football, coach basketball. He. He will. He teaches my kids golf, but he teaches. Why? Why did you aim there? He goes, aim, change your feet. Let the club do the swinging. Keep your head down. And my. Like, he is the best teacher. Like, he's just so calm. He laughs at me. He goes, didn't I teach you anything? And I, like, I slice it onto the other fairway goes, God. He looks at me. I'm like, stop. Sorry, dad. Sorry, dad. I'm not retired. I can't get out and golf as much. Yeah, right, right. He laughs. He goes, duly noted. Yeah.
- [51:46]
A
Well, Larissa, it's been such an insightful interview. We always finish with the four questions of 40 athletes. So these are like a final four, like, insightful as we wrap up today.
- [51:55]
C
Yeah.
- [51:55]
A
So the first one is this.
- [51:57]
C
Yep.
- [51:57]
A
Number one, in your opinion, what does it mean to win the game of life? Like, what is one sentence you can say? Like, hey, this is how you win a game of life.
- [52:05]
B
Life.
- [52:06]
C
To learn how to be happy. To learn how to be happy as a person, myself, because everything else will fall into place. I think that's what we should be teaching our kids. To learn how to be happy. Yeah.
- [52:20]
A
Like that. Yeah. And number two, if you could spend time with anyone you admire in sports, passed away, alive, fictional question. Who would you pick? And then why would you pick them? Oh.
- [52:35]
C
Alive or dead. Right. I get this question all the time, and I still can't. There's too many. I would lean to. I would lean to Vince Lombardi for some reason. I don't know why I lean that way. I also. I also like a few of the. The female Olympian athletes, I think, too. I'd like to. Yeah, I'd like to speak to a few of those women who have broken records or women who have had children. Right. And still made a gold medal. Those would be women I'd like to, I guess, sit on a bench with. But I think just a coach figured out how to be good with the kids and successful as well. Those. Anyone who feels that I would love time with right now. I'm even forgetting it. The guy's name. I think he's a MSU coach as well.
- [53:33]
A
Football or. Yeah, someone.
- [53:36]
C
Ellen, maybe got the wrong team, but him, too. I thought about that. That guy came to mind. I forget I've got to go back, and I'm really letting myself down here. But I also. Phil Jackson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And definitely, definitely Michael Jordan. He is the epitome of resilience. Self. Talk about self motivation, intrinsic motivation. He checks every box of mental skills. Every box.
- [54:08]
B
Yeah. So question number three. Is this. What is the best advice you've ever received from a coach you played for? Been around.
- [54:19]
C
I've had a few motivational talks, too. I think, I think the one coach I've had where he taught us how to, like, pause and take a reset. I think, I think Von Peckham, definitely. I, I think he. He does an amazing job at the communication and he brings humor to it. Like. Well, that hit the net really well. Like, he, like, he acknowledged your mistake, but he used humor. And I really liked coaches that use humor and build trust rather than abuse their power.
- [54:58]
B
Yeah. Almost make humor in a way to enlighten it. Not humor. I've seen coaches do humor in a way to demean or to tear somebody down, but more of that.
- [55:07]
C
I. He used humor in the right way and the healthy way. So I'd say him. There's been a few. A few others. I, I've. I also, like, there was a swim coach. I saw my daughters. I really liked him. He goes, you're prepared. You've done everything. You can go out there. Like, he just was so calm. But he was like, you were like. He wanted to hug her after she won the provincials. And I felt so bad. He couldn't hug her. Why can't she hug her coach? Like, it was like this. I. That was a whole other story. But I felt like she wanted to hug him and he kind of was like, I'm not allowed to hug you, but I really, really want to. But, like, that's such a trusting thing. Right. But he was wonderful. One of my daughter's swimming coaches. Yeah. Yeah.
- [55:49]
B
The last question is this. If you had one, like, life skill or character trait that you could have in an individual that maybe you're hiring to work in your company or maybe you're coaching a team. I was going to be an athlete that's going to play for you. What would that one character or life skill be and why?
- [56:06]
C
Emotional intelligence. If you have all the five pillars of emotional intelligence, you're hiring a very perceptive social empathetics person who can regulate their emotions, who's someone who's motivated and they're very aware. That's it. I. Even for me, we only hire people. I actually talk more about their mental skills rather than the resume.
- [56:32]
B
Hey, speaking of that, though, you. You mentioned Vince Lombardi. Going back to somewhere. I know, did you see the. Did you see the Jimmy V. Speech back in the day when. Yes, he does that. And he's like, he was at Rutgers, he was a JV coach, and he's trying to pump up his team, trying to figure out who's getting there. He walks in, he talks to him, and he's like, it's. He goes, it's God, the family, and it's the green baby. He's like, I know I'm gonna say Rutgers basketball, but.
- [56:57]
C
Yeah, yeah. And. And, like, I really like the fact that there's a lot of really good documentaries out there for kids to watch. So as we. For our athletes, we build the list. So there's, like, Hustle or the American Underdog, and, like, there's great coaches in those to watch and emulate. Right. Soon, the greatest coaches are the ones who have the greatest connections, really.
- [57:21]
A
Well, Larissa, you know, thank you again for joining us today.
- [57:24]
C
No problem.
- [57:25]
A
How can people learn more about you, reach you? Where can I find you?
- [57:30]
C
You can go to Instagram at the Mental Game Academy. I'm on LinkedIn. We are on Facebook, the Mental Game Academy. You can go in, book a demo with me for your team, because we work with teams or leagues and put our implementer programs in there. I also do parent talks as well, if you want to have us come in. We actually have parenting courses as well to come in and help your teams, but we kind of COVID all the sports needs, so you can find us on any of those. But thank you so much for. For doing what you're doing for the little kids and how you're motivating them. And obviously, I. I love it. I'm impressed by your program, so thank you for doing what you're doing.
- [58:13]
A
Yeah, well, there's a. We'll talk to you soon in. Enjoy the rest of your day. So thanks again for coming on.
- [58:19]
C
Awesome. We'll see you guys soon.
- [58:21]
B
Thanks, Marissa. Take care.
- [58:24]
A
Well, Jimmy, as we know, parenting is one of the toughest things in most challenging things. So that's why we made that free link below. But also tell them, you know, what we had to offer on 40Athletes.com.
- [58:34]
B
Yeah, I mean, 40Athletes.com you can go and get information, like Loris was saying, how to teach life skills and character to your children at early ages and kind of do it through. We like to do it through activities or playing, like, sports, and you can implement it with that. And so the idea is we're trying to, you know, help people become more through what they're doing. So setting them up for the skill sets succeed. Like we talk in life, and I think, like, Larissa talked about many different, you know, great points that I really think, like, as parents, you need to manage the phones. It's. It's got to be something that's got to be done because it's getting worse and worse. We talk about with the anxiety, depression, self doubt that's causing. So that's. That's the thing, I think, hopefully, parents take from that and. And how many people out there are doubting themselves. Parents are doubting themselves, Kids are doubting themselves. Right. So what can we do to help with that? Self talk to. To create this. Be your best cheerleader. Right. We're all going to make mistakes. We beat ourselves up. And my dad was mentioning this recess, talking to him about stuff, about life, and we're talking about how, you know, like, some people are nervous about the future. Right. And then they beat themselves up about the past. And he kind of said he's like, yeah, God, really wanted to stare at the past and focus on the past. You put eyes in the back of your head, right? Yeah. Because you don't have eyes in the back of your head. Right. So you look and you glance and you move forward. And I think that's what we got to do in life because we beat ourselves up too much about things we do and mistakes we make. And like she said, mistakes are part of life. That's how we grow and can get better. So hopefully, like, you know, parents take a lot from this and implement it within the homes. I feel like we got to do more in the homes, not rely on coaches and teachers. Do it for us. We got to be a big advocate at home to develop our kids.
- [60:16]
A
No, absolutely, Jimmy. Well said. And that's a great way to end the episode today. So, Jimmy, have a great Wednesday. And I know we'll talk sooner, so
- [60:27]
B
use one, by the way. Hey, it's gonna be not red Friday. It's red Thursday.
- [60:30]
A
Thursday this week. That's right.
- [60:32]
B
Cheese. Let's.