The Messy Parts with Maryam Banikarim
Episode: Ana Gasteyer Gets Real About Wicked, SNL, and the Hustle of Showbiz (Re-Release)
Date: December 8, 2025

Episode Overview

This rich conversation between host Maryam Banikarim and her guest, the multitalented Ana Gasteyer, dives deep into Gasteyer’s winding, remarkable career—from classical music and improv, to her iconic run on Saturday Night Live (SNL), to starring as Elphaba in Wicked, and more. The episode candidly explores the “messy parts” of success: career pivots, rejection, self-doubt, work-life chaos, and finding creative joy amidst uncertainty. Gasteyer shares honest advice for creative hustlers, reflects on the realities of show business, and offers wisdom on self-advocacy and resilience—all with humor and self-awareness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Early Roots, Outsider Status, and Finding “Her People”

[01:33 - 06:42]

• Classical Training & Broadway Dreams: Gasteyer grew up playing violin, immersed in classical music and Broadway soundtracks, but "didn’t think showbiz was what I would do, exactly."
• College & Perspective: Chose Northwestern because "it was the only school I got into," crediting her educational path for exposing her to new points of view beyond her East Coast upbringing.
• Comedy as Calling: Joined improv after "meeting my people—there’s just this moment you find a kinship with people who think like you do." She discovered the importance of being a “maker and a doer”: "They were motivated to not sit around waiting to get cast in something."
• Embracing Outsider-ness: Gasteyer describes always being an outsider—geographically, ethnically, in comedy and theater—ultimately seeing it as a source of strength:
  • “I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about it. I think it actually just means you have a different and more interesting perspective.” ([07:25])

2. The Hustle: Improv, The Groundlings, and Breaking Into SNL

[08:49 - 16:28]

• Post-College Scramble: Drifted around California, then “buckle[d] down” at 24, joining The Groundlings and performing with “The Real Live Brady Bunch” tour.
• SNL Breakthrough:
  • The 1995/96 cast shakeup led to auditions for new talent; Will Ferrell recommended Gasteyer and others from The Groundlings.
  • The SNL audition is “a little one person show…you have to write it yourself.” ([12:36])
  • Managed nerves by rehearsing her audition in silence (“my husband just sat like Mount Rushmore and stared at me while I practiced”—[14:43]), prepping for the famously unresponsive SNL panel.
• Key Lesson: “There have been a few auditions in my life where I’ve left everything on the table, where the win was not whether I got the job. It was whether or not I did what I could have done.” ([13:34])
  Notable quote: “The win was not whether I got the job. It was whether or not I did what I could have done.” – Ana ([13:34])

3. Transitioning to Broadway: The “Impossible Role” of Elphaba

[16:28 - 18:02]

• Switch from TV to Theater: After SNL, Gasteyer set her sights on Broadway—a challenging pivot, especially for someone known for comedy.
  • "It's actually harder in some ways because it's really hard to work on Broadway...and understandably people are annoyed when television people show up and want to do it, too." ([16:44])
• Originating Elphaba in Chicago: Auditioned for the role (twice), and though she didn’t replace Idina Menzel on Broadway, she was cast to originate the role in the Chicago company—emphasizing unpredictability in success:
  • “You don't know where it’s going to play out or how...But it was such a perfect scenario.” ([17:36])

4. Work-Life Balance, Family, and Difficult Choices

[18:29 - 25:36]

• Leaving SNL: Gasteyer left after six years to start a family, noting no one had done it before (“No one had ever had a baby there. There are not a lot of roadmaps for how people do it”).
  • “80% of what you do with other working women once you have babies is run around wondering how to do it all.” ([20:06])
• Showbiz as a Grind: “It is a miserable grind of a job. I’ve missed out on some things...Like, weddings and bar mitzvahs and things that matter.” ([21:22])
• Gendered Expectations: Both Maryam and Ana confess not knowing how to assert their needs in high-pressure work spaces—like missing family milestones—or to “ask for permission” to prioritize personal life.
  • “I just didn’t know how to say I’m not available until next Monday because I have a personal family obligation.” ([22:21])

5. The SNL Experience: Community, Pressure, and the “Female SNL Mafia”

[23:08 - 27:40]

• Not a “Hug Fest”: SNL was “not like a safe space…it was not a hug fest. Clearly there’s this sense of amazing talent but also sort of a zero sum game.” ([23:08])
• Creative Collaboration: Despite the stress, the collaborative, rapid-fire comedy writing at SNL provided a unique professional “high.”
  • “The shorthand is incredible…The flow that comedians get into when they’re writing collaboratively, together, is like no other high.” ([24:01])
• Female Solidarity Post-SNL:
  • “Now, post-SNL, there’s definitely a female support group.” ([25:53])
  • Beginning with a 40th anniversary gathering and Betty White’s hosting, female SNL alumni bonded over motherhood, life, and continued creative collaboration.
  • “We share an incredible work ethic and great sense of humor and perspective...There’s a lot of wisdom.” ([27:02])

6. Reinventing, Making Things, and TV Success

[27:47 - 31:38]

• Refusing to Wait for Permission: Gasteyer stresses repeatedly, to both listeners and her own daughter, the importance of self-initiative:
  • “Who are you waiting for to tell you that you’re allowed to do this? You just have to go do it.” ([33:23])
• Mid-career Pivot to Broadway and TV: Turned away from typecast TV roles to pursue Broadway’s Wicked, then returned to TV in ensemble roles (Suburgatory, American Auto), which provided balance and joy.
  • “TV’s so easy after you’ve done theater for whatever, a million years. There’s so much free food.” ([29:22])
• Love for Ensemble and “The Collective”: Thrived in community-driven TV projects, echoing earlier themes of tribe, group creativity, and the joys of collective process.

7. Advice on Rejection, Resilience, and Success

[31:52 - 38:43]

• Dealing with Rejection:
  • “I give myself one really sad night with a giant bottle of white wine and a half a Xanax, and I sleep really, really well, where I’m just petty and fucking small…and then the next day I wake up and I realize…I have other ideas and a really killer family and an amazing career.” ([00:00])
• Balance, Comparison, and Agency:
  • “Stop comparing yourself to other people. If I could go back and talk to myself at 25. It’s so fucking irrelevant what anyone else is doing.” ([35:49])
  • Cites Marty Short’s “pie” philosophy: “one third work, one third family, one third friends.”
  • Advocates for owning your identity and voice: “Your aspiration is your identity. It’s the thing that gets you out of bed every morning.” ([34:35])

8. Accepting “Mess” and Trusting the Process

[38:43 - 41:54]

• Embracing Life’s Twists:
  • Serendipitous moments—like a canceled show granting her time to care for her aging parents, or launching a Christmas album on what became a “paid sabbatical”—are viewed as life balancing itself, even if not apparent in the moment.
  • “All those things happen…This notion of, like, it all happens for a reason, is actually kind of a nice way to look at it.” ([40:20])

9. Rapid-Fire Fun

[42:35 - 45:02]

• Karaoke/Walk-on Song:
  • Ana: “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar” by Helen Reddy
  • Maryam: “Girl on Fire” by Alicia Keys
• Potluck Dish: Watermelon feta salad (“very Iranian…also Greek Romanian, so that’s why I was an ethnic actress.”)
• Alternative Careers: Hospitality/food or teaching kids.
• Recommended Read: Girl on Girl—about women and media in the 90s and 2000s.
• One Piece of Advice: “Just order the first thing on the menu. You’re there to hang out with your friends.”
• Favorite SNL Messy Moment: “The entire thing is a mess…it’s utter mayhem. That’s kind of the magic.” ([44:38])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On auditions and self-worth:
  “The win was not whether I got the job. It was whether or not I did what I could have done.” —Ana ([13:34])

• On rejection and resilience:
  “I give myself one really sad night with a giant bottle of white wine and a half a Xanax…and then the next day I wake up and realize I have other ideas and a really killer family and an amazing career.” —Ana ([00:00], [36:50])

• On self-advocacy:
  “Who are you waiting for to tell you that you’re allowed to do this? You have to go do it.” —Ana ([33:23])

• On comparison:
  “Stop comparing yourself to other people…It’s so fucking irrelevant what anyone else is doing.” —Ana ([35:49])

• On balance:
  “Marty Short, famously, has this pie in his head: one third work, one third family, one third friends. All three have to be in balance.” —Ana ([00:00])

• On SNL’s chaos:
  “The entire thing is a mess…it’s utter mayhem. That’s kind of the magic.” —Ana ([44:38])

Timestamps of Important Segments

• [00:00] – Ana’s rejection ritual & Marty Short’s “pie”
• [01:33] – Early life, college, and finding improv comedy
• [10:23] – How she got her SNL audition
• [13:34] – Ana’s self-assessment philosophy in auditions
• [16:28] – Pivot from SNL to Broadway (Wicked)
• [20:06] – Juggling SNL and motherhood; challenges of “doing it all”
• [23:08] – SNL as competitive, intense community
• [25:53] – Emergence and value of the SNL “female support group”
• [27:47] – TV and theater career pivots
• [31:52] – On making things, self-producing post-SNL
• [33:23] – Advice on self-advocacy and starting
• [35:49] – The toxicity of comparison; social media’s pressures
• [40:20] – “It all happens for a reason”
• [42:35] – Rapid-fire Q&A (fun, lightning round)

Tone and Takeaways

The episode is candid, witty, and conspiratorially supportive—full of self-deprecation, vulnerability, and wry humor. Ana and Maryam swap stories of rejection, hustle, and balancing personal and professional demands, always returning to the importance of community, creative agency, and self-respect. Listeners are left with both practical tools (“leave it all on the table,” “don’t wait for permission”) and the comforting knowledge that even the most accomplished, charismatic figures have their messy parts—and that’s what makes the journey worthwhile.