Podcast Summary: The Messy Parts Host: Maryam Banikarim
Episode: Driven by Love and Addicted to “What’s Next”: Fashion Insider Sojin Lee
Guest: Sojin Lee, Early Net-a-Porter Executive, Founder/CEO of Toshi
Release Date: February 23, 2026

Overview

In this candid and piercing episode, host Maryam Banikarim sits down with Sojin Lee—fashion industry veteran, early executive at Net-a-Porter, serial founder, and recent pivoter into the food business. The conversation traces Sojin’s multicultural upbringing as an immigrant child, her ascent in the high-stakes business of fashion, the “messy” realities behind startup life and personal pivots, and the constant tension between ambition and grounding. Sojin delivers career advice rarely heard: the value of prioritizing personal happiness, the addictive nature of success, and practical wisdom for anyone navigating change, failure, or reinvention.

Guest Background & Early Life

Multicultural Roots and Responsibility

• Born in Seoul, Korea, to a working-class family, Sojin moved across Europe and eventually settled in Los Angeles as a child.
• She describes a childhood marked by traditional Korean values, compounded by constant relocations and language barriers that made her the "translator" for her family.
• Being the oldest of four, she shares:

  "There's an instinctual sort of mothering that I think comes from having that type of responsibility since I was so young. And absolutely a resentment towards it as well." (04:31)

Feeling Like an Outsider

• Sojin discusses her struggle to fit in as the “only one” wherever she went, balancing Eastern and Western expectations.
• She relates to the film The Joy Luck Club, saying:

  "That daughter who always gives the largest pieces away... That’s who she is in the family. And that’s how I felt being in the family. And sometimes I'd be like, oh my god, I'm never going to be seen with respect if I'm constantly giving things away." (05:06-05:28)

From Fashion to the Business Side

Early Influences and Entry

• Summers spent with family in Korea’s garment industry sparked Sojin’s interest in fashion—not through artistry, but hands-on work and business mechanics.

  "I ended up in fashion, and...I don’t think it’s because I woke up as like I’m meant for fashion. ... I just know whatever it is, I’ll do it well." (07:22)

Drawn to Data and Control

• Sojin gravitated to the business, analytics, and data side—not the creative.
• She explains:

  "I think it's because I felt everything else was out of control...I like one plus one equals two." (08:09)

• Her family and cultural influences pushed toward fashion’s "Korean acceptable" side: numbers and business.

Navigating Work, Identity, and Kindness

Workplace Dynamics & Cultural Imprint

• Both Sojin and Maryam reflect how immigrant upbringing and birth order shape adult behavior at work:

  "When it comes to work, that’s where I feel very confident...But I did have this pressure to go, well, if I’m going to be in fashion, I want to be on the side of fashion that is the Korean acceptable side..." (06:07–08:09)

Gen X Grit and the Lesson of Kindness

• Sojin reflects on the Gen X “get on with it” mentality:

  "It never occurred to me that being Korean, being female...was going to get in my way. It probably did. I just wasn’t aware of it." (10:13)

• On giving herself grace:

  "Kindness is more saying, you're not the only one. Put it into perspective. Take a breath, go for a walk. Make sure you've got a good friend support system. The sun will come up tomorrow and you'll figure it out." (10:13–11:50)

Taking Career Risks & Following Instincts

Love, Career, and Patterns

• Sojin joined Net-a-Porter post-dotcom crash, blending data-driven instincts with personal priorities.
• She attributes the leap not to a grand plan or passionate calling, but recognizing business patterns and being "driven by love" (for her now-husband):

  "It solved two problems. You got to move to London and...join Net-a-Porter. ... I was driven by love. So it was no master plan." (14:42–15:59)

Advice on Risk-taking and Security:

• On moving across the world for both work and a relationship:

  "It would never take away from who I was. ... I'm going there with a job. So if I don't like him, I’m good. I can stay there and I will have a life and I will take care of myself." (17:43)

The Net-a-Porter Journey

Early Startup Days

• Sojin paints a vivid picture of scrappy beginnings:

  "If an order came through, you would hear like, 'ding.' ... I'd climb onto my chair and find the size and then take it downstairs...iron it, ribbon it, box it, ship it. The whole process was manualized and very small." (19:48–20:37)

Breaking Into the Industry

• Gaining credibility was slow; each “row” closer at fashion shows felt like progress.
• A pivotal win:

  "When Phoebe Filo...finally said yes to us...we were jumping up and down like we were 10 years old." (21:23)

• Takeaway on fitting in:

  "Speak less, listen more. People will always remember you, not because of what you said, but because of how you engaged with them." (23:04)

On Failure, Retrenchment, and Reinvention

Post-Net-a-Porter & Fashion Air

• After pivotal industry changes, Sojin left Net-a-Porter to launch Fashion Air—a platform merging content and commerce, arguably “ten years too early.”
• The 2008-09 recession ended the startup after a year.
• On the pain of failure:

  "I did not deal with it...I pushed it aside. ... It was easier to be like, not my fault because it was so embarrassing. Right. On a personal level. But then angry because it was a good product." (31:35–32:41)

• She discusses the cultural impulse to “save face” and the struggle to process public failure.

  "The most growth comes from failure, which is easy to say, not so great to feel." (33:02)

The Fallout and Addiction to Success

• Sojin describes the jarring silence (“your phone stopped ringing”) and retrenching—consulting for seven years:

  "Having success, I have to be honest, unlocked the need for more success because it becomes addictive. That's terrible." (34:55)

Building Toshi and Surviving Setbacks

Spotting Opportunities and Raising Money

• Toshi emerged from recognizing logistics and last-mile inefficiencies in luxury fashion, inspired by Amazon and Uber’s rise.
• For the first time, Sojin put in significant personal capital and high emotional stakes:

  "We worked hard, we built something amazing. The industry loved us. ... And then the world blew up. Literally, right." (38:11)

Pandemics, Market Crashes, and Uncontrollable Forces

• Major upheavals—COVID, client loss, investor pullback—forced another painful closure.
• Sojin offers hard-won wisdom:

  "There was a macro shift, you know, and you are a tiny, tiny inconsequential thing, you know, there was nothing to be ashamed of, I guess...But internally. Oh, my God, are you kidding me? My identity, my purpose. What was the point of all of that?" (39:52–40:43)

Pivoting Again: Into Food

New Chapter: Itsu Foods

• After giving herself a deadline to recover from the disappointment, Sojin set out on what she calls “200 coffees” to network and find new direction.
• Julian Metcalfe (Pret a Manger/Itsu) recruited her to bring Itsu’s instant noodle range to the US:

  "When I stopped feeling sorry for myself and I said, okay, put a deadline on it...200 coffees and ask for help. And it paid off.” (41:52–44:10)

Advice on Pivots and Adaptability

• A "gentle pivot": leveraging transferable skills across adjacent sectors.
• Sojin’s #1 tip:

  "Get your head around AI. Like, period. ... I am studying AI. I am using AI...I need to understand what that can do...and how this tool can help actually accelerate or enhance the value." (44:31)

Reflections on AI and Fashion’s Future

Impact of AI

• Massive efficiency gains are coming, but businesses must first “clean” their data and digitize processes:

  "If you haven’t digitized...where your data lies, how clean that data is...then you’re just moving all the junk." (45:32)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Fitting In:

  "Most people don’t care...Get that into your head. Nobody cares. They’re more, you know, focus on themselves. That’s it. And if you can see it that way...it just gives you much more ability just to walk up to anybody." — Sojin, (23:04)

• On Female Role Models:

  "I remember being in the kitchen very young...and all the women were in the kitchen and all the men were having the fun in the living room. ... I’m not getting stuck in here with you. I’m going out there where the music is." — Sojin, (18:39)

• On Career Passion Myths:

  “Do something you’re passionate about. ... I think it’s a myth.” — Sojin, (48:24) “I don’t think the majority of people know what that passion is. ... It’s easy to say that when you’ve had the success.” (48:28)

• On Failure and Moving On:

  "You will survive." — Sojin, (49:26)

Rapid-Fire Takeaways

(Timestamps: 47:27–49:31)

• Messiest moment? “After Fashionnaire’s closure...I lost my rag at a journalist. I’m gonna say it’s a 10.”
• What should everyone do before 35? “Sing out loud in front of people and walk around naked on a beach...Both good for your confidence and they break you in a different way psychologically.”
• Career myth: “Do something you’re passionate about.” (She disagrees.)
• Confidence crisis advice: “Take a step back, turn off your phone, turn off social media, go watch things that make you laugh, walk in the park...Cut the noise out. When you come out of it, spend 48 hours saying yes to everything.”
• For a founder in a messy, failing moment:

  “You will survive. ... There’s always another day.”

Actionable Career and Life Advice

• Prioritize personal happiness and authentic connections—make sure your “network is solid” and don’t be afraid to put love or home life first (33:42).
• Give yourself grace; “be kind” especially in setback seasons.
• Don’t focus on whether others have “the plan”—most are improvising and adapting as they go.
• When in a rut, set a deadline, mourn, then get proactive—Sojin’s “200 Coffees” is a standout actionable tip for networking and reinvention (41:52, 44:03).
• Embrace new skills (especially AI), stay curious, and move with the times.

For listeners navigating ambition, failure, or reinvention, Sojin Lee’s story is a nuanced, wise, and encouraging roadmap—full of realism, hope, and reminders that few paths are neat or passion-driven, and that success can be both satisfying and addictive. Prioritize your joy, don’t be afraid to pivot, and remember: “You will survive.”