The Messy Parts: Best Of — Humor, Resilience & Rewriting the Rules

Host: Maryam Banikarim
Date: December 22, 2025
Theme: A tapestry of candid, messy, and inspiring stories from high-achieving women (and a few men too) who zigzagged, stumbled, and persevered to carve out extraordinary careers despite uncertainty, self-doubt, and the pressure to conform.

Episode Overview

In this "best of" Hark episode, Maryam Banikarim curates standout moments from a year’s worth of revealing interviews. With stories from comedian Negin Farsad, SNL alum Ana Gasteyer, beauty founder Katie Sturino, restaurateur Vicki Freeman, and high-profile leaders across industries, the through-line is clear: successful people embrace uncertainty, rewrite the rules, and yes, get real about the messy parts. A recurring message emerges: career paths are never linear, self-doubt is normal, and the best way forward is to own your story—and keep moving.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Embracing the Unlikely Path & Parental Expectations

Negin Farsad, Comedian

• Grew up as the "perfect student," primed for a "safe" career by her Iranian immigrant parents.
• First realized the power of laughter—and her own voice—on stage as "kitchen wench number three."
  “Some might say the soul of the kitchen wench is.” [02:40]
• Struggled with parental disappointment, until her father reframed her struggle:
  “You’re like a scientist. Scientists work for years before they have a discovery. You may not see your discovery in your lifetime, but you’re working towards it.” [07:41]
• Takeaway: Sometimes, the support you’re hoping for comes in unexpected forms—and owning your choices can heal generational dreams.

2. Claiming Your Aspiration as Identity

Ana Gasteyer, Actress/Singer

• On why women should not wait for external validation:
  “Who are you waiting for to tell you that you’re allowed to do this? You have to go do it.” [17:01]
• Advocated for speaking your truth unapologetically—even when you’re still finding your way.
  “Just stating the truth: I’m an actress. I want to work as an actress. When I learned that trick…it’s about believing yourself and also being willing to say it out loud with confidence.” [18:14]
• Advice for younger women: Know your energy sources, follow your passions, and don’t minimize your ambition because someone else can’t see it.

3. Moving Forward Despite Fear

Katie Sturino, Founder, Megababe

• Got her break by pitching herself—a recurring strategy:
  “What’s the worst that’s going to happen? They’re going to say no. I don’t know. I’ll ask anyone, anything.” [22:48]
• Launched her blog after seeing the hunger for “representation” among plus-size women.
• On handling fear:
  “I think fear is less strong than regret. And I don’t want to regret anything. I just go. I just do it.” [27:14]
• Insight: Action trumps anxiety; fear exists, but regret is a stronger motivator.

4. Surrendering to Uncertainty — And Seizing Opportunity

Vicki Freeman, Restaurateur

• Hit rock bottom: jobless, single, directionless. Literally “looked up at the sky” and said “I’m open.”
• Hours later, got offered a stake in a new coffee bar—quickly followed by the chance to open her first restaurant.
  “I had to assume this meant something…that the call from the very next day, out of the blue, when I still had no plan…” [32:24]
• The restaurant became a destination overnight—a whirlwind she “wasn’t ready for” but rode anyway.
• Key Lesson: Openness invites opportunity—and sometimes, saying “yes” before you’re ready is exactly the point.

5. Pursuing Fulfillment Over External Success

Irina Novoselsky, CEO of Hootsuite (ex-Financier)

• Reached a prestigious, lucrative role in private equity, then wondered: “Do I want to become my boss?”
• Realized the thrill of financial success wasn’t enough because it wasn’t aligned with her passion. “If you don’t want to be the general in an army, why do you want to stay in the soldier squad?” [41:32]
• Wisdom: Don’t confuse external achievement with fulfillment; if you’re not aiming for the next step, consider if you’re on the right track.

6. Reinventing After Hitting Rock Bottom

Deborah Martin Chase, Producer

• On her 28th birthday, was so miserable as a lawyer she “cried all day on the couch.” [45:59]
• Chose to move towards her hidden passion—storytelling—even if it meant starting over. “I realized I had a contribution to make to the world, and until I figured that out and got on with it, I was not going to be happy.” [48:10]
• Methodically researched the film industry, networked, and entered from the ground up.
• Advice: If you’re lost, take inventory—then take action. The hardest step is figuring out what you really want.

7. Cultivating Resilience Amid Change & Crisis

Cindi Leive, CEO, The Meteor

• Reflects on challenges in the media world:
  “It’s that feeling—you’re on a staircase, and you discover the step you thought was there isn’t.” [53:52]
• On coping strategies for tough times: “Focus on the world you inhabit personally—your community, your workplace. Try to make small changes, rediscover humanity, even just by knowing your neighbors.” [55:09]
• Message for listeners: Agency can be recaptured by focusing on the hyperlocal; small acts matter.

8. Don’t Wait for Perfect: Work With What You Have

Judith Curr, Publisher, Harper One Group

• Her first jobs solved practical problems, not just dreams, but she leaned into opportunities.
  “Don’t expect everything to be everything for you… Don’t wait for perfect.” [1:00:18]
• Advice: Take the job in front of you, work towards your goals, and find satisfaction in the journey—not perfection.

9. The Power of Instinct & Systems Thinking

Sarah Personette, CEO, Puck News

• Accepted a job on the spot against her father’s advice, trusting her gut and her thinking:
  “There’s nothing you can’t learn, nothing you can’t change. If the job didn’t work out, I could go and get another job.” [1:05:04]
• Confidence rooted in the ability to quickly connect ideas (“systems thinking”), not in knowing everything up front.
• Key Moment: “I do think you have moments in your life where you see your parents or role models don’t have the same insight as you in the environment you’re in.” [1:09:19]

10. Camaraderie, Vulnerability & Self-Editing in High-Stakes Careers

Vanessa Barboni Hallik, Entrepreneur (ex-Finance)

• Outward confidence masked internal overwhelm. Self-editing (“leaving aspects of myself out”) became a survival tool, but over time, led to a sense of emptiness. “By the time I was sort of at the tail end of that finance career, I almost was like, where is the rest of me?” [1:14:45]
• Community can exist, even in cutthroat workplaces, but authenticity is a long-term play.

11. Staying Relevant in the Age of AI

Fede Garcia, Advertising Creative

• AI will replace some “menial” creative tasks, but:
  “The best thing you can do is build amazing taste and a unique taste…AI will come up with 100 ideas in a second, but someone still has to say ‘this is the one.’” [1:21:09]
• Core Principle: Empathy, experience, and “taste” are enduring; learn voraciously, be human.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Negin Farsad: “Sometimes it takes years before the scientist sees a discovery…That’s what you’re doing as an artist.” [07:46]
• Ana Gasteyer: “Who are you waiting for to tell you that you’re allowed to do this? You have to go do it.” [17:06]
• Katie Sturino: “Fear is less strong than regret.” [27:14]
• Vicki Freeman: “I’m open. What is it? I had to assume this meant something.” [32:31]
• Deborah Martin Chase: “I realized that I had a contribution to make; until I figured out what that was…I was not going to be happy.” [48:10]
• Cindi Leive: “Rediscovering our humanity starts close by.” [56:10]
• Judith Curr: “Don’t wait for perfect.” [1:00:18]
• Sarah Personette: “There’s nothing that you can’t learn, nothing that you can’t change.” [1:05:04]
• Fede Garcia: “The best thing you can do is build amazing taste and a unique taste.” [1:21:09]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:30 – Negin Farsad: Comedy as an unexpected vocation & parental acceptance
• 16:20 – Ana Gasteyer: Owning aspirations, the identity of ambition
• 22:48 – Katie Sturino: Moving past fear with action
• 32:31 – Vicki Freeman: Serendipity and saying “yes” despite uncertainty
• 41:32 – Irina Novoselsky: Realizing when money isn’t enough
• 45:59 – Deborah Martin Chase: Pivoting after hitting rock bottom
• 53:52 – Cindi Leive: Resilience in tough times and meaningful activism
• 1:00:18 – Judith Curr: Opportunity over perfection
• 1:05:04 – Sarah Personette: Trusting instinct and systems thinking
• 1:14:45 – Vanessa Barboni Hallik: Camaraderie and vulnerability in finance
• 1:21:09 – Fede Garcia: Navigating AI and cultivating taste

Conclusion

This “best of” curation affirms the real story of success: it’s nonlinear, often messy, and powered by courage, openness, a willingness to act despite fear, and a stubborn commitment to your truest dreams. Whether you’re starting out or leading, there’s something in every story here to inspire you to rewrite the rules—and talk honestly about all the messy parts along the way.

For more real, unfiltered career wisdom, subscribe to The Messy Parts with Maryam Banikarim.