The Messy Parts with Maryam Banikarim

Episode: Turning “No” Into Opportunity: Broadway’s Michael McElroy on Rejection and Resilience
Release Date: November 3, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features acclaimed Broadway performer and educator Michael McElroy, known for his powerful presence on stage and as the founder of the Tony-honored Broadway Inspirational Voices. Host Maryam Banikarim leads an honest and heartfelt conversation about rejection, resilience, and the less-glamorous realities behind a successful career in the arts. McElroy shares deeply personal stories—from growing up as a preacher’s son in Cleveland and navigating life as a gay Black man, to overcoming crushing setbacks at Carnegie Mellon and learning to pivot towards new opportunities. The episode offers profound insights into how community, service, and self-trust can transform rejection into possibility.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Michael McElroy’s Origin Story: Family, Faith, and Service

[01:43 - 04:58]

• Grew up in Cleveland in a family immersed in church leadership and public service.
  • “When you're the first family of the church, your life really isn't your own.” (Michael McElroy, 01:54)
• Raised by strong women after his father and grandfather passed away early in his life.
• Music and political activism were central to his upbringing; family included many musicians and community leaders.

Navigating Otherness and Identity

[03:25 - 04:58]

• Michael discusses being a gay child in a religious, public-facing family.
  • “While I was immersed in this world, there was a part of me that was always on the outside.” (Michael McElroy, 03:56)
• Felt he couldn’t fully belong or express his true self until he left for college.

Pursuing the Arts: Family Support and Internal Battles

[05:03 - 06:18]

• The arts were embraced in his family, but generational sacrifices shaped their approach.
• His mother, having made sacrifices herself, empowered him to go away for college:
  • “You will have the opportunities that I never had.” (Michael McElroy, 05:25)
• Dramatic transition from high school star to struggling conservatory student.

Rejection and Resilience at Carnegie Mellon

[06:48 - 11:17]

• Faced institutional homophobia and toxic feedback in his college acting program.
  • “You need to act more like a football player or you’re too effeminate.” (Michael McElroy, 07:25)
• Was cut from the program after his freshman year for not conforming.
• His mother advocated for him, threatening legal action, which got him reinstated—but he had to repeat his first year.
• Transformational mindset shift:
  • “It was no longer about proving to someone else that I could do it. I had to prove it to myself.” (Michael McElroy, 10:19)
• Became determined to learn everything possible—even from people he didn’t like.
• Developed early lessons in resilience: self-belief, and “learning to make decisions out of an active place as opposed to a reactive place.” (14:01-14:11)

The Actor as Vessel: On Identity and Expanding Capacity

[13:00 - 13:47]

• Acting requires both celebrating who you are and expanding to inhabit many different stories.
• Underlines the importance of educators honoring students’ identities while also challenging them:
  • “We’re going to choose repertoire that allows you to celebrate who you are, but I’m also going to give you repertoire that expands you in other places.” (13:28)

Life Skills and the Evolving Arts Landscape

[16:07 - 18:58]

• Highlights the greater self-awareness, boundaries, and worldview of young artists today.
• Integrates resilience and the acceptance of mistakes into his teaching:
  • “Growth only happens in spaces of discomfort.” (Michael McElroy, 17:49)
  • “When students know that you really deeply care about them, then they will allow you to be tough.” (18:51)

Early Career Breaks and the Reality of the ‘Rosy Ride’

[19:18 - 23:02]

• Landed a part in Shakespeare in the Park with Denzel Washington before graduating.
• Recalls “graduating with honors” after being previously expelled—full circle moment.
• Even in periods of visible success, underlying insecurity and the need for resilience persisted.
• On not tying self-worth to professional achievements:
  • “Every show I’ve ever done… is a wonderful thing. But my identity, my worth, cannot be attached to that.” (Michael McElroy, 23:03)

Side Hustles, Leaning In, and the Power of ‘Yes’

[23:49 - 26:49]

• During industry lulls, kept artistically active—arranging, singing, volunteering—which led to unexpected opportunities.
• “You don’t have to just be in a job or looking for a job, like lean into the passion project you have, and that might open up other opportunities.” (Maryam Banikarim, 24:11)
• McElroy stresses practicing your craft and helping others, not just waiting for opportunities to find you.
• Commercials, arrangements, and volunteering all contributed to lasting skills and networks.

The Importance of Making Mistakes and Hearing ‘No’

[27:18 - 28:12]

• Encourages young people to embrace mistakes and view rejection as opportunity.
  • “No is not the end of your life, but it’s an opportunity… What can I learn from this experience?” (Renee Elise Goldsberry via Michael McElroy, 27:56)

Founding Broadway Inspirational Voices: Service, Healing, and Community

[28:20 - 31:24]

• In response to the AIDS crisis, McElroy launched a gospel choir for Broadway professionals seeking spiritual healing.
  • “The power of gospel music, separate from religious dogma… that power is available… to everyone.” (Michael McElroy, 29:20)
• Built a diverse, welcoming community that grew its impact through outreach, eventually becoming a Tony-winning nonprofit.

Service Unlocks Opportunity (and Joy)

[31:28 - 32:55]

• Giving back both fulfills personal needs and connects you with new people and experiences.
• Maryam and Michael reflect on collaborating to uplift Broadway during Covid, culminating in a historic Times Square performance.

The Power of Community Action During Crisis

[32:55 - 34:43]

• “Moment for Broadway” in 2020 served as healing for artists and the city.
  • “And to actually sing ‘Sunday’… it was such a healing moment. Emotional healing. Gave us hope that we actually could return.” (Michael McElroy, 33:36)

Pivoting into Education: Listening to the ‘Little Voice’

[36:12 - 39:28]

• McElroy always knew acting wouldn’t be his “end game.”
  • “That really small, quiet voice… That says things… Not in a place of emot, but in those quiet places, quiet times, where you’ll just hear that voice that says, this is not the end game for you.” (Michael McElroy, 36:54)
• In listening to intuition, he transitioned into teaching, learning as he went, and finding renewed purpose:
  • “For me, I had lost the joy of doing this… but something said, it’s time to move on.” (Michael McElroy, 39:28 - 40:08)

Career Wisdom & Rapid-Fire Advice

[40:32 - 41:53]

• Do before 35: “Travel… Try things that scare you.” (40:40-40:47)
• Career myth: “That your worth is determined by what you do.” (40:50)
• One piece of advice for jobseekers: “Be ready to ask questions… Do your research.” (41:11)
• Advice for pivoting: “Give yourself grace, but still work hard.” (41:21)
• On failure: Fails “every day… What did I learn from that?” (41:43-41:48)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I had to learn to be a person who makes decisions out of an active place as opposed to a reactive place.” (Michael McElroy, 14:01)
• “Growth only happens in spaces of discomfort, and if I can navigate this… I expand my capacity and I learned resilience.” (Michael McElroy, 17:49)
• “The gifts that I was given to be able to do the things that I love to do, had to be separate from my worth as a person.” (Michael McElroy, 23:02)
• “You might hear 10,000 no’s, but you might hear one yes. And that makes all the difference.” (Michael McElroy, 00:32; 35:25)
• “You don’t have to wait for a job… you can lean in and find something you care about and have some impact and you don’t even know where it’s gonna take you.” (Maryam Banikarim, 00:00; 34:43)
• “If you are in that place, you do have skills, you do have something… What brings me joy? Who are the people that I’ve met… that I can reach out to not because I want them to do something for me, but to say, can I have coffee just to talk about things?” (Michael McElroy, 39:28)
• “Give yourself grace, but still work hard.” (Michael McElroy, 41:21)

Key Timestamps

• Michael’s upbringing and sense of otherness: [01:43 - 04:58]
• Facing rejection at Carnegie Mellon: [06:48 - 11:17]
• Transforming adversity into learning: [14:01 - 15:26]
• Teaching philosophy—embracing discomfort and care: [16:38 - 18:58]
• Launching career and maintaining self-worth: [19:18 - 23:12]
• Making side hustles matter: [23:49 - 26:49]
• The power of saying “yes” and seeking out ‘no’s: [27:18 - 28:12]
• Broadway Inspirational Voices origin story: [28:20 - 31:24]
• Pandemic community moment—’Moment for Broadway’: [32:55 - 34:43]
• Pivoting into education, listening to intuition: [36:12 - 39:28]
• Advice lightning round: [40:32 - 41:53]

Overall Tone

Honest, encouraging, compassionate, and deeply insightful, with a persistent focus on the importance of resilience, authenticity, service, and embracing the messy, unpredictable parts of every career.

For anyone feeling stuck, rejected, or searching for purpose, this episode is a masterclass on transforming “no” into opportunity—and why the bravest thing you can do is keep showing up, get messy, and say yes to growth.