Podcast Summary: The Michael Knowles Show

Episode: AVOID These People At ALL COST: Michael REACTS To Black Friday Chaos!
Date: November 27, 2025
Host: Michael Knowles (The Daily Wire)

Overview

In this special Black Friday episode, Michael Knowles reacts to viral videos depicting the chaotic, sometimes comical, and often cringeworthy behaviors of shoppers on the biggest retail weekend of the year. Using candid commentary and a blend of satire and sincerity, Michael critiques not only the madness of Black Friday but also its broader cultural implications. The show blends humor, social commentary, and a dash of holiday tradition, drawing parallels between modern consumerism and classic moral tales.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Black Friday as a Cultural Mirror

• Michael frames Black Friday as “a disgusting bacchanal of decadence and materialism,” characterizing these shopping sprees as a uniquely American phenomenon.
  • Quote: “Black Friday is upon us. You know what that means? It's time for America to indulge in a disgusting bacchanal of decadence and materialism.” (04:30)
• He employs vivid language to highlight the juxtaposition between holiday cheer and frenzied consumer behavior.

2. Hell, Heaven, and Human Nature

• Drawing on a priest’s homily, Michael compares Black Friday chaos to a scene from hell and heaven:
  • In hell, you have abundant food but can’t feed yourself due to the length of the forks; in heaven, people feed each other instead.
  • Quote: “You know what's so crazy about heaven? ...in heaven, they get the steak, they feed it to the person across from them. That's the difference. And that right there is hell.” (06:00)
• The anecdote underscores the episode’s core: individual selfishness vs. communal well-being.

3. Reactions to Specific Viral Videos

• Over-Aggression Over Small Goods:
  • Michael laughs at videos of people running each other over for seemingly trivial items, ridiculing their lack of composure.
  • On towels:
    • “For real. Over some towels, y’ all. Over. Over some towels. …I would have been right there and I would have been violent. None of those people were violent. I would have been ripping out people's hair. Buck 60 a towel.” (14:30)
• Fake or Staged Content:
  • Expresses skepticism at certain videos, calling out staged chaos for online attention.
  • Quote: “There's no way that one's real. ...people do a lot of stupid stuff for videos. I think that one's fake. I'm calling shenanigans on that.” (11:00)

4. Online Shopping vs. In-Person Stampedes

• Michael notes Amazon founder Jeff Bezos’ role in reducing in-store chaos, though he also laments the downsides of online consumerism:
  • “Jeff Bezos. He has saved us from this. Also kind of depressing, because then we just sit and spend all of our money just clicking buttons on our computer, locked up in our little pods.” (09:20)
• Ultimately, he suggests online shopping—with its relative calm—is preferable to the violent scramble for goods.

5. Critique of TV & Entertainment Choices

• Michael jestingly criticizes the “slop” people buy on Black Friday, especially TVs, hinting most viewers aren’t seeking intellectual enrichment:
  • Quote: “Something tells me those people are not listening to, you know, really nice, cultured, edifying material such as the Michael Knowles show. They're watching slop. Decadent, violent, lustful slop. If you had to ask me.” (17:00)

6. Walmart vs. Costco: Cultural Differences

• Walmart is depicted as a locus of unruly shopping, whereas Costco—at least in Michael's eyes—is a bastion of friendliness and order:
  • Quote: “You get a lot of that at Walmart. You don't get that at Costco. You know what you get at Costco? Buck 50 hot dogs and friendly people.” (20:30)
• The differences between shopping cultures become a recurring theme as Michael pokes fun at shopper stereotypes.

7. Hyperbolic Parodies and Social Commentary

• Michael satirizes family Black Friday “traditions,” joking about dousing in pig blood to slip through crowds and referencing viral clips with outlandish language:
  • Quote (parody): “Last year we lost our youngest daughter. Her head was stepped on and crushed. But in her memory, we're going to find a young girl and step on her head this year.” (21:10)
  • Another viral quote: “If anyone thinks they're gonna beat me inside that mall and keep me from getting my kids Christmas presents, they can kiss my fat vagina. Cause I'm bringing the motherf in pain.” (21:45)
• He uses these absurdities as springboards for social critique, underscoring how far people will go for deals.

8. Advent and the Call for Stillness

• Amidst the chaos, Michael offers a moment of reflection, urging listeners to embrace the spiritual opportunity of Advent as a counter to the holiday frenzy.
  • Draws attention to the Hallow app's “Pray 25” challenge, focusing on Psalm 46: “Be still and know that I am God.”
  • Quote: “This Advent Hallow is leading a powerful challenge called Prey25. Be still. It's an invitation to step out of the modern frenzy and enter into the real story of Christmas, one that was anything but calm or comfortable.” (12:20)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Black Friday Craziness:

  • “Is this in the Middle east, or does it just sound like it? Just waiting for an explosion. This is New York. Yeah. Okay, so I guess I was right. That was a glimpse at pre Momdani stand. Proto Momdani stand.” (05:10)

• On Video Staging:

  • “I'm calling shenanigans on that. Full flag on the field. Shenanigans.” (11:00)

• On Morality and Materialism:

  • “It's better than beating up little kids to get a box of trash.” (09:40)

• On Consumerist Contradictions:

  • “I've been very anti TV lately, which is bad because I pay my mortgage by being on TVs and like phones and computers and stuff.” (16:00)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 04:30 — Kicking off: Black Friday’s cultural madness
• 06:00 — The “hell and heaven” homily & metaphor
• 09:20 — Jeff Bezos, online shopping, & reluctant praise
• 11:00 — Calling out staged Black Friday chaos
• 12:20 — Reflection: Advent, stillness, and spiritual perspective
• 14:30 — Commentary on towel bargains and self-awareness
• 17:00 — Condemnation of low-value entertainment
• 20:30 — Walmart vs. Costco culture
• 21:10 — Outlandish parody of Black Friday “traditions”
• 21:45 — Quoting viral video for comic effect

Conclusion

Michael Knowles’ Black Friday episode is a whirlwind of humor, cultural critique, and holiday reflection. He fearlessly mocks the craziness of materialist traditions while reflecting on the deeper spiritual meaning of the season. His jokes and parodies don’t hold back, as he invites listeners to both laugh at and learn from the excesses of contemporary American culture.