Blackface, Seed Oils, & Diddy | YES or NO: John Crist

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Michael Knowles Show – "Blackface, Seed Oils, & Diddy | YES or NO: John Crist"

Release Date: December 30, 2024
Host: Michael Knowles
Guest: John Crist
Platform: The Daily Wire

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Introduction

In the episode titled "Blackface, Seed Oils, & Diddy | YES or NO: John Crist" of The Michael Knowles Show, host Michael Knowles engages in a lively and humorous discussion with guest comedian John Crist. The conversation delves into various cultural and political topics, blending sharp analysis with comedic banter. The episode is structured around a "Yes or No" game, where the hosts challenge each other's viewpoints on contentious issues.

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Seed Oils and Nutritional Science

One of the primary discussions centers around the health implications of seed oils. Michael initiates the topic with skepticism towards current nutritional science, emphasizing the fluctuating nature of scientific consensus.

Michael Knowles [06:18]:
"In 15 years or so, scientists will discover the health benefits of seed oils... because seed oils are the devil. We all agree they're poison."

John Crist counters by highlighting the often contradictory findings in nutritional studies.

John Crist [07:26]:
"Science is largely fake. Every 15 years, nutritional science changes. Remember the food pyramid? I bet it's not coming out pro seed oil."

The exchange underscores a distrust in scientific authorities and promotes the idea that prevalent dietary guidelines may be flawed or manipulated.

---

Diddy vs. Epstein Scandals

The conversation shifts to comparing the controversies surrounding Sean "Diddy" Combs and the late Jeffrey Epstein. Michael asserts that the "Diddy files" are more scandalous than Epstein's.

Michael Knowles [09:26]:
"I'm going to say, guaranteed, we're not going to see either. But the Diddy files are worse than the Epstein files."

John challenges this by suggesting Epstein's case holds more gravity due to its international implications.

John Crist [09:36]:
"I think the Epstein files are worse. There's more money and power involved."

Despite the debate, both agree that neither scandal is likely to be fully uncovered, reflecting skepticism about accountability in high-profile cases.

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Social Media Regulation in Australia

Michael and John discuss Australia's decision to ban social media for individuals under 16, viewing it as a commendable move to protect youth from potential online harms.

Michael Knowles [34:25]:
"Australia finally did something right by banning social media for kids under 16. It’s a penal colony where they do all sorts of terrible things."

John emphasizes the dangers of unregulated internet access for children, relating it to increased exposure to inappropriate content and cyberbullying.

John Crist [35:08]:
"Giving your kid access to the Internet without supervision is child abuse. They're either going to look at porn or get involved with weirdos."

The hosts advocate for strict internet regulations to safeguard younger generations, highlighting the negative impacts of unrestricted online engagement.

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Paternity Leave and Gender Stereotypes

The episode tackles the stigmatization of men taking paternity leave, with Michael asserting that men avoid it to prevent being perceived as less masculine.

John Crist [57:30]:
"Men should never take paternity leave... because you don't want people to think you're a lesbian."

Michael reinforces this by sharing his personal experience of prioritizing work over family time during his wife’s C-section, highlighting societal pressures on men to be primary breadwinners.

Michael Knowles [58:00]:
"I scheduled my wife's delivery around the show and prioritized work, reflecting the tough choices men face between career and family."

The discussion critiques societal expectations that discourage men from actively participating in family caregiving, advocating for a shift in cultural norms to support paternal involvement.

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Blackface in Comedy

A significant portion of the conversation examines the practice of blackface in comedy, particularly critiquing modern parallels drawn by comedians like Trey Kennedy.

John Crist [49:33]:
"When you think about it, most of Trey Kennedy's jokes are basically the white woman version of blackface."

Michael agrees, arguing that cultural appropriation in comedy is problematic unless it is respectful and appropriately contextualized.

Michael Knowles [50:00]:
"I support comedians making jokes even if they're described as blackface, as long as it's not done in malice."

John adds that the intent and reception of such jokes are crucial, suggesting that without malicious intent, some degree of cultural borrowing in humor can be acceptable.

John Crist [50:21]:
"If it's in good fun and the audience has clearly signed off on it, then it can work."

The hosts emphasize the importance of context and intention in comedy, advocating for responsible storytelling that avoids perpetuating harmful stereotypes.

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Conclusion

The episode concludes with the hosts engaging in a playful tiebreaker game of rock, paper, scissors, maintaining the lighthearted tone despite the serious nature of the topics discussed. Michael expresses appreciation for John’s participation, promising listeners to catch his comedy tour "Jokes for Humans."

Michael Knowles [62:07]:
"Thank you for coming in, John. It was extremely well done. Go see John's tour 'Jokes for Humans.'"

John Crist [62:03]:
"Let's do it. Starting in February. We're back!"

The hosts sign off, leaving listeners with a blend of critical insights and comedic relief, encapsulating the show's mission to dissect cultural madness with both analysis and humor.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• [06:18] Michael Knowles:
  "In 15 years or so, scientists will discover the health benefits of seed oils... because seed oils are the devil."

• [07:26] John Crist:
  "Science is largely fake. Every 15 years, nutritional science changes."

• [09:26] Michael Knowles:
  "The Diddy files are worse than the Epstein files."

• [34:25] Michael Knowles:
  "Australia finally did something right by banning social media for kids under 16."

• [57:30] John Crist:
  "Men should never take paternity leave... because you don't want people to think you're a lesbian."

• [49:33] John Crist:
  "Most of Trey Kennedy's jokes are basically the white woman version of blackface."

• [50:00] Michael Knowles:
  "I support comedians making jokes even if they're described as blackface, as long as it's not done in malice."

---

This episode of The Michael Knowles Show offers a robust discussion on controversial topics, blending critical perspectives with humor. Michael Knowles and John Crist provide listeners with thought-provoking commentary on societal issues, encouraging a reevaluation of commonly held beliefs through both serious analysis and comedic insights.

Transcript

[A]

The holidays are a time to slow down and savor moments shared with those who matter most. This year. Make those moments extraordinary with Mayflower cigars. From the milder Mayflower dawn to the bolder Mayflower dusk, each blend of Mayflower premium handmade cigars is crafted for conversation and contemplation. Give the gift of unrushed excellence this holiday season. Create your [e-mail] you must be 21 years old or older to order. Some exclusions apply.

[B]

Oh, mention never take a paternity leave. Not because there's anything wrong with taking care of the family, but because you don't want people to think you're lesbian. Okay, I didn't. I didn't read the end of that. Hold on, hold on.

[A]

My guest today is a professional comedian with a tour called Jokes for Humans. But the yes or no game is no laughing matter. This is very, very serious, and I intend to win against my guest, John Crist.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Brother John, thank you for being here.

[B]

We shake hands for now.

[A]

We'll see how the game goes. If you want to play the game, not against John. He won't come to your house, but you can play against your friends and family. Dailywire.com shop. You can get the expansion packs. You can't get my drink, but you can probably find that at the liquor store. I have to have scotch today.

[B]

You gotta have scotch. This is new.

[A]

This is new.

[B]

Usually you always have a martini.

[A]

I have a martini. And I don't want to call anyone out or anything, but my assistant Molly broke my glass.

[B]

It's her fault.

[A]

It is her. And I'm.

[B]

But I. I was thinking, this is a power play because you'd normally. And I was thinking maybe if you. This is a little stronger. You. You were maybe a little bit more nervous about this.

[A]

Well, I am. It's very hard to keep up with a comedian.

[B]

See, I'm already on top. I'm already on top.

[A]

This is a glass of pure vodka.

[B]

Straight. Straight. And people drink it with pebble ice. That's very little vodka, slushy kind. You're like, I've never seen that. You go into a bar. Can I get a straight vodka with slushy ice? That'd be great. I'd be a lacing machine. Interesting. Now, is the watch part of the strategy or. No, It's a nice watch.

[A]

Thank you. This watch. This True story. I had a knockoff, a Chinatown knockoff of this in high school. And I finally decided when Ben Shapiro sent me my first Paycheck, which was like, two weeks ago.

[B]

And that's how he makes you say it. Ben Shapiro.

[A]

I said, great, I can invest in a watch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This game. The clock is ticking. We have, I think, under an hour. I'm ready to see who knows the other one better.

[B]

Interesting. And we've done. We've done a little bit of research on each other peripherally.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like if I shaved, I would look like you.

[A]

But now you look like Matt. Yeah.

[B]

Now I look like Matt. Yeah.

[A]

Number one, you have to guess how I would answer this.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Moses would be a republic. Bonus. You're right. But bonus, why?

[B]

Open borders. He left Egypt, dude. Come on. What do you mean, open borders?

[A]

I was thinking he might be more akin to a monarchist, but you're right. The open border. That, man is true.

[B]

He's like, I'm out of here. Wow. You're stuck in Egypt. He said, no, we're not. I'm leaving my land now, dude. Yeah, Moses. For sure.

[A]

I'm gonna drink just for that. Beautiful answer.

[B]

Oh, you take it back. I thought you'd leave it here.

[A]

I say if I get it wrong, I have to drink.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

If I get it right, I get to drink.

[B]

Oh, I like that. So it's not like without. Of arm's reach, you can't. You can't.

[A]

Cause you got it wrong.

[B]

All right, you're up. Well, Moses, let me think. I mean, the plagues, he called those down. Let me see. What else did he do? Oh, he had that. He killed somebody. Soft on crime. Soft Moses. Yeah, dude, for sure. He kills somebody, they go, eh, just go, you know, go out in the desert for a little bit. But no, there was no. No one ever came down on him. Nope.

[A]

No. Tom Holmes.

[B]

Served no time.

[A]

No.

[B]

For sure. A Democrat.

[A]

Yeah, definitely.

[B]

All right, my turn.

[A]

You're up.

[B]

Going to Disney sucks. It's really just a way for cocky parents to test their family's resilience. Going to Disney sucks. Obviously, for sure.

[A]

I've never done it with my family. I did it when I was a kid. Never since.

[B]

Never with yours?

[A]

No, not with my like, you know, since I'm a father.

[B]

Well, I think one of my. I never forget this story. One of my buddies, Randy, he took his four kids. Disney. You know, all. You know, you can do like five parks. How many parks are down there?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So many. And they took him to Epcot, Magic Kingdom, Animal. I was gonna say Animal Planet. What's it called? Animal Kingdom.

[A]

Song of the South.

[B]

All of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And one day he told me this story when he got back to the office, he said one day it rained, so we couldn't go to any of the parks. And we were staying at, like, the Motel 6. And he goes, there was a pond out back. And his kids went and caught crawdads in the pond. Cause they were just bored. And on the way home, they said, what was your favorite part, dude? What was your favorite part of the week? And they said, catching the crawdads, of course. Behind the not hotel motel. And he said, I will never do this again.

[A]

Yeah. Well, that's nice. So he spent probably $10,000 or something. And he's got great crawdads.

[B]

That's good. Yeah. Cause, you know, kids, after. When do your kids melt down after how many hours being out? Yeah.

[A]

Two starts, max.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So you get there, you're in the park. You're not getting into the park, into the amusement park until two hours since waking them up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tram parking lot. Oh, you got to buy tick now and then you get in there. Want some chili? We want some chicken fingers. No, no.

[A]

Plus, I don't know. I need to get my ratings up before I can afford the fast pass where you actually get to cut the lines and everything.

[B]

I was going to say ratings with your family. They rate you.

[A]

I got.

[B]

They do. They do.

[A]

They're going to rate me low if I take you to Disney.

[B]

All right, here we go.

[A]

In 15 years or so, scientists will discover the health benefits of seed oils. You have to guess what I would say.

[B]

Hmm.

[A]

Mr. Davies, could you please give me a point?

[B]

I say no. Is it?

[A]

They will. Here's why you think so. Because the seed oils are of the devil. We all agree they're poison. They cause inflammation or whatever. They turn the frogs down.

[B]

And which are the popular ones?

[A]

The canola, which is. Canola was the rebrand, I think, of something called rapeseed oil. That's not a joke.

[B]

All right. Could have used a rebrand.

[A]

I could.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It was a glow off.

[B]

If there's anyone overdue for a rebrand.

[A]

It was good old rapeseed oil, but so now they're the devil and everyone hates them. However, the thing about science is it's largely fake. So every 15 years, everything in popular, especially nutritional science, changes. Remember when they flipped the food pyramid? So I bet I'm not coming at as pro seed oil. I'm just saying this is more a referendum on science than it is on rapeseed oil.

[B]

And read the question again. So hold on.

[A]

You're saying in 15 years or so. Yes. Scientists will discover the health benefits of seed oils. Cause now they've just discovered why they're bad. But they're gonna say why? It's just like.

[B]

Oh, so they currently think they're bad?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Well, I was. Cause we had a thing about the, like, you know, the cold plunge. Everybody's on it, like, and it was. It's so. When was it? Last summer. Everybody's obsessed with it. And then they were like, oh, wait, this is actually just putting your heart. You're having a mini heart attack. That's why you're so, like, amped up all day. You're like, I got so much energy. Like, yeah, you just had. You just almost went into paralysis.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Your body went into shock and it was like, pump the blood everywhere. We're drowning.

[A]

Yes. Did you ever. Did you ever do it?

[B]

Never once.

[A]

No, me neither.

[B]

And turns out that's not good for your body. And they're just like, oh, my bad. Yeah. Oh, well, we thought everybody's like, I can send so many more emails at work. Like, how is this a venom?

[A]

Well, luckily, right when that became popular, everyone had just taken a clot shot MRNA vaccine and had started doing a bunch of 6 million lip pillies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So their hearts were already begging, just saying, please don't. No, not the cold blunts. I know. You know what I do instead of the cold plunge?

[B]

What's that?

[A]

I take a nice warm shower in the morning like a normal person.

[B]

I just wake up and say a prayer.

[A]

And then I go to work and.

[B]

I may have a cup of coffee. Yeah. And then they have. They were so insane. Cause they were like, they're putting ice in there and they're, like, going to the Arctic. And then there's, like. There's like, retreats. Like, cold plunge retreats. I go, just forgive your parents. Like, this is too much. Dude, it's okay. Hey, I'm depressed, too. Yeah, it's fine.

[A]

You got your dad's phone number right there.

[B]

Just call him and say, dad, I'm coming home for Christmas. Maybe the seed oil's part the problem, dude. All right, here we go. Sent in by a listener. I'm not sure. Actually, the Diddy files are worse than the Epstein files, but we likely won't get to see either.

[A]

I'm going to say, guaranteed, we're not going to see either. But the Diddy files are worse than the Epstein files. You would say?

[B]

What would I say? Hold on, let me think. What I say about this. All right, I'm ready. I think the Epstein files are worse.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. You agree?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I agree that you would also think that. Which I happen to agree with.

[B]

What's the score?

[A]

No one knows. No one knows the letter B, I think. Well, the Diddy stuff was widespread. It went on for a long time. But to me, it seems like usual Hollywood, like, just.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no ulterior. It's just a bunch of people not having boundaries.

[A]

Yes. The Epstein.

[B]

And that's how it goes.

[A]

That seems like an international spy ring or something, right? I think. Yeah. Although maybe people say Diddy's a fed. Kanye west said Diddy was a fed. But Kanye west says a lot of things.

[B]

Yeah. Kanye west, it should be. Do you believe Kanye west in everything or nothing? And we have to choose. Yeah. I mean, I think the Epstein. There's a little bit more money and power.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Diddy said, I got 5 million to bid. They're like, 5 million did what?

[A]

You kidding me?

[B]

No, I make this.

[A]

It's a canape budget. One Epstein dinner.

[B]

I make this this afternoon. Yeah. It tends to be more sinister, I think, because there's more. Plus, what's Diddy doing it in New York City?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're like, dude, talk to me. When you gotta fly to a private.

[A]

Island, an island off the other island that you have to land in.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Cause then. Cause they know what the international law is. Now, granted, there's not many laws in New York City, but if you go. Yeah. Where are you going? To the Diddy party. Yeah. Floor six. We're like, what?

[A]

Fine.

[B]

Yeah. I don't love it. I don't love it. But I don't know. We'll be in the parking garage, dude, and. Well, who's in jail? Diddy's in jail.

[A]

Currently Diddy is in jail, but Epstein was in jail, and they're probably both gonna end up in the same place.

[B]

Is he still alive? What's. They end up in the same place?

[A]

No, he's not alive. They're both.

[B]

What's that joke? Oh, I thought you meant also.

[A]

And after that, I wanted to make.

[B]

Sure everybody got that joke.

[A]

I don't think Epstein is still alive, do you?

[B]

No, Tupac is, but Epstein. Tupac's alive for sure. Yeah.

[A]

Epstein and Biggie killed Epstein.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

100%. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Epstein is. Yeah. I don't believe he's alive, Granted. I didn't know who he was before.

[A]

No.

[B]

Did anyone?

[A]

This is what happens in the news, though, is there's like a news story. And then everyone reads half an article or like four tweets and just becomes an expert on it.

[B]

Of that.

[A]

It's like I was saying 45 minutes ago.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I like those TikTok investigators. Remember when the murder happened here in Nashville? Not the murder. Sorry. The kid that went in the river.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Remember that? There's all these, like, guys in their apartments, like, all right, I'm like, what? What? Hold on. Guys, be quiet. Let's hear this guy out. Hold on. Let's hear this guy out. He's unemployed, but he. I think he knows. I think he knows.

[A]

He read some tweets.

[B]

Guys, be quiet. Let's listen to the real. Yeah. Not the news. No.

[A]

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[B]

All right, here we go.

[A]

People say democrats have no sense of humor, but that's not true. They're always talking about women's rights.

[B]

Looking at the camera.

[A]

Yeah, they are. They're always talking about women's rights. Yeah, Yeah, I agree.

[B]

And that you said. And they got a good sense of humor.

[A]

Yeah. Well, hold on. I'm just the. Oh, I'm just saying they're talking about it. It's a fact.

[B]

They are talking about it. Yeah, that's right. I would say. I would say the right has a better sense of humor for sure. Why they jokes. You know what I think every time I go I mean, I spend a lot of time making jokes around right leaning things. Nascar, you know, college football, I would say we used to do a thing on our podcast where you used to choose is it right or left? We used to do car brands. Chevy right or left? You know, you just guess. Ford right or left?

[A]

You know, for some reason I would say Chevy left.

[B]

That's what we'd always do this. So we were like, what is NASCAR right or left?

[A]

NASCAR's right.

[B]

Yes. Yeah. Without saying it. They pray.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To Jesus, by the way.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I haven't watched it live. Really?

[B]

They pray to Jesus live before the race.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

Which, I don't know. They're like, God, please keep us safe. We're going to fire these.

[A]

Ford's definitely on the right. Ford was, he was kind of extreme on the right.

[B]

Yeah, but. But not like what is. The Ford Focus might be left.

[A]

That's true. But Ford is rolling over in his grave.

[B]

Ford as a brand, it would be right.

[A]

Put out newspapers and things. It was. Yeah, it was in the best.

[B]

Tesla could go either way.

[A]

You're right. You like the libertarians.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like Elon's a libertarian.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Libertarians, sometimes they have purple hair either way or they're, you know, just give me my money and my guns.

[B]

But the Democrats, I would say you go to a NASCAR race and you're making fun of, they're like, they have a mullet and they have like overalls and like Crocs on. Yeah, but they know, they know it's. They know they're in on it. They're like, yeah, we know this is funny. Get me in your video. Yeah, it's funny. Yeah, yeah. There's never anything where would be the funnest left leaning activity that they were like having a good joking time. Everything's very serious. And the nearest, truly the nearest would.

[A]

Be just doing drugs. That's what they. That's what they.

[B]

It's pretty fun.

[A]

But the thing is, I've always found I never got into. I've never done hard drugs. And even if I had a little of the devil's lettuce, you know, that's.

[B]

One of the prompts.

[A]

Even if I had the, you know, on occasion, maybe a little of the old sin spinach, I found it made other things sometimes seem funnier, but I got much less funny.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. You weren't as funny.

[A]

I just got.

[B]

You weren't on it.

[A]

I wasn't on it.

[B]

Not like you're on it right now. Yeah. You were like I gotta get hammered if I'm gonna go to this WNBA game to enjoy. I mean, I guess that would be funny.

[A]

That would be a funny thing.

[B]

But everything seems so serious.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But hey, listen, we'll open it up to everybody. I'm sure mostly right leaning people are watching this. But we'll come, me and you. Yeah, yeah, we'll go tell us a left leaning fun event. Yeah, yeah, we'll go.

[A]

Please.

[B]

Yeah, we'll go learn.

[A]

Yeah. And we'll never have to leave our homes.

[B]

Oh, here we go. Now this one makes. This one, at least grammatically, is gonna be easy to choose. A small colony will be established on Mars in our lifetime. Now let's get a couple things straight here. How long are we living? I'm 40 if the.

[A]

I'm 34.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

If.

[B]

Were you gonna put us to 80?

[A]

90 if we're lucky. I don't know.

[B]

Or they might come up with some seed oils.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And we could go 120.

[A]

Well, Silicon Valley wants us to live to 500. I don't really want to live to 500.

[B]

I don'T. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So you're talking 60 years is a stretch. That's like the craziest.

[B]

So let's say 50, max.

[A]

Colony on Mars in 50 years.

[B]

And what is a colony? What is a woman, Matt?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't know. I would say. How many people does that have to be like the Mayflower? It has to be the cigar equivalent, the Christopher Columbus equivalent, led by Elon Musk. Imagine Elon Musk then in 1492, with that 600 years, then he gets canceled like Christopher Columbus.

[A]

And then they discover that he's secretly a converso Jew. Oh, they found that out. Did you hear that about Columbus? Yeah. I don't know if I believe after all this time. Yeah, that's what they said.

[B]

Okay. A colony on Mars would be established in our lifetime.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I say no.

[A]

No way.

[B]

No way, no way, no way.

[A]

That's all fake.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause there's no such thing as outer space.

[B]

Wow. What is up there? Did I. You can go for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, I. Who. I believe in outer space. I believe in the spherical.

[B]

Okay. I've heard a lot of conspiracies. I didn't know that was one of them.

[A]

Yeah, you know, the flat Earth and the sort of the celestial.

[B]

And they just made it crystal domes. Okay. Nobody's been up there.

[A]

Yeah. But I believe in outer space and I believe that Mars exists. But we're not going we're not going. We're not going.

[B]

Listen, my roommate who goes, dude, he heard about Elon going to Mars and he goes, they're looking for people. And he goes, I'm going to apply. I go, dude, what contribution you've made? No contributions to Earth? My guy, we're, dude, we're sitting here at 2:30 in the afternoon, you got Dorito dust on your fingers saying you're gonna what? You can't cook, you can't harvest, you can't fix anything.

[A]

Can he fly? Like nuclear powered jet crasher.

[B]

Now he's on Southwest sea boarding crew. Where are you going? Got a long, you got a long way to go.

[A]

They're not going.

[B]

Before he contribute to Mars. If people want to go to Mars, just say again, just forgive your dad number one. Or just say you want to end your life and we'll give you some answers.

[A]

It would be a suicide trouble.

[B]

What are you doing?

[A]

Yeah, also Earth is nice.

[B]

Earth is. Have you seen any of the photos of Mars? Have you seen any of the moon?

[A]

Yeah, why do we. Who would want to go there? Earth is beautiful and wet and verdant.

[B]

And you can put a seed in the ground and food comes out and.

[A]

Then you can harvest it and squeeze the oil out of the seed.

[B]

Tell us where, tell us anywhere in the universe where that exists and we'll.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's total. The Mars thing, it's fake news. You are, you likely are not going to heaven unless you physically break the surface of the water when you're baptized. Hold on, hold on. What do you.

[B]

I gotta. Hold on, hold on.

[A]

This was clearly written by my evangelical.

[B]

Protestant producer, but that's about something. That's something of mine.

[A]

But I also read it again. You likely aren't going to heaven unless you physically break the surface of the water when you're baptized. Now does this. If you think of the more traditional high liturgy baptisms, if the priest pours the water on your head, is that breaking the surface of the water or. No, no, we're talking about full immersion.

[B]

Immersion. Full immersion, which would be Baptist. Now what tradition did you grow up?

[A]

Catholic. Catholic, mackerel, snap and papist.

[B]

Oh, so not even Christian? No, I didn't.

[A]

It's a sect of Islam actually.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What kind of Catholic in New York?

[A]

Yeah. Well, I grew up cradle Catholic, but I became an atheist at 13 and then I was brought back. The short version of it is I was brought back by bayan. By ban. They have very cool hats in that new form of Catholicism.

[B]

No wonder he gave you the watch. Welcome back. Welcome to heaven.

[A]

I was brought back in by a lapsed Catholic who became a megachurch evangelical Protestant in France, who then reverted to Catholicism, introducing me to the arguments made by a Calvinist analytic philosopher at a Catholic university, followed by C.S. lewis, kind of a Protestant, into Chesterton, was a Protestant when he wrote Orthodoxy, became a Catholic, back to the Catholic Church.

[B]

And that's how you got here.

[A]

It was dizzying.

[B]

Wow. Yeah, it's like religious trans. You don't know which one you are. You're always going back.

[A]

You finally settled.

[B]

Who are you?

[A]

You come back. At the end of our travels, we arrive where we started.

[B]

Well, I did, I think after Covid, I went to. I did this series called First Time Visitor. And I just went to every church. I went to all of them. I go, I'm going to just see. I went to cowboy churches. I went to Pentecost, dancing churches, black churches. I went all of them. I go, I want to see which one. And everybody does baptism different.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Now, Z, you're guessing me.

[A]

You gotta guess me. I guess.

[B]

And read it again.

[A]

You likely are not going to heaven unless you physically break the surface of the water when you're baptized.

[B]

Okay, but that's a confusing question.

[A]

It's very confusing.

[B]

You're likely.

[A]

If you.

[B]

No.

[A]

Meaning well, and it's kind of a double negative. No, you are.

[B]

You're likely not. I do. I disagree with that by saying you're.

[A]

You're saying yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, you are not less likely to go to heaven unless. Okay. Correct. I don't. Full immersion verses pouring over. Doesn't matter. However, our Lord tells us you have to be baptized.

[B]

He does.

[A]

Some people today, they minimize the sacraments and even baptism.

[B]

Yep. And that's what you guys got up. You guys got a stranglehold on the sacrament.

[A]

Pretty robust on the sacrament. Yeah.

[B]

You're good. You're big sacrament energy. Yeah. You're big sacraments.

[A]

But this is. You know, in modernity, we say that all the physical modernity, we're swimming in it. No, you know, the modern world.

[B]

Oh, modern. Okay. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. We tend to believe that physical things don't matter. So we're iconoclasts. We now say the body doesn't matter. You can be a woman or whatever, but.

[B]

Oh, great point.

[A]

I think you have to be baptized.

[B]

Yeah. We could do. Probably not with this, but I could baptize this. Yeah. Cause you were like, is it full immersion does in the baby? You were done. I was, yeah.

[A]

I don't know, I don't know how vigorous they were with it, but I at least did a little pouring on the head.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Well, because, you know, they go, well, we don't. Like in Catholicism, the grape juice or the wine becomes the blood. Yes, yes.

[A]

And the host becomes the blood.

[B]

Yes. And I don't. And I don't. Like, I used to talk about how I don't like, I still have the God of the Old Testament. I like, I still. He's still around.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And like, I know the judgment. He's gonna like the all that.

[A]

But like, he's the same guy.

[B]

But like when the rappers like wear the cross necklaces, I go, I'd be careful with that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't, I don't like, I wouldn't take it lightly. Yeah. Neat. No, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. I go, you're like, you see like, you know when Lil Nas X wore that, like the, the Jesus on the. And I go in the Jesus blood in the shoes, I go, yeah. You don't see like the miracles of the Bible and the God's like power and the cloud of smoke and the pillar. You don't see that. But I go, I would be careful with that.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I don't know. Does that make sense?

[A]

It makes a lot of sense because there is actually a verse that is very like when in your Bible or mine, you know, in the correct Bible, the only in Latin, the, you know, God is not mocked.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So like when these guys. Look, I think if a rapper is kind of interested in the symbols of Christianity, that kind of leads him.

[B]

Okay, good.

[A]

But if you're gonna be like lil Nas X twerking directly.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

If he did the thing on the Devil, you remember that? I would. Who am I? I would caution against it, dude.

[B]

I still say, oh my gosh. Just in case.

[A]

Yes, I certainly. Yeah.

[B]

I'm not saying. You're not catching me.

[A]

No.

[B]

Like, like I feel like God's like, I better have heard an sh on the Internet like I did. Hey.

[A]

In biotechnicality.

[B]

Yeah. Hey, like, yeah, I'm still like, people are looser with the rules, you know, when I was growing up. And now, you know, now kid, they're, you know, there's R rated movies that kids are watching or, or they're like, you know, they, they kind of don't respect authority anymore. I go, y'all, like, you're not gonna catch me on this. That's not at all. I'll take. I still take my hat off for a prayer. Yeah, Just in. Yeah.

[A]

As you should.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what's coming back? Women wearing veils in church. Have you seen this?

[B]

Is it.

[A]

Yes. There was a whole article about it even.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you know it's real.

[B]

Yeah. It has to be real.

[A]

But I've noticed it's all the young ladies.

[B]

Well, we need to get back. We need to get back a little bit to the. Show a little respect.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I'll still wear it now if you. The tricky thing is at meals. So I pray before meals.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

But, you know, in a Mexican restaurant, before chips.

[A]

Yeah. This is a big question.

[B]

Yeah. See, that should be the next question.

[A]

And especially, it's also, like, if you're sitting with people who are not believers. Do you like? What I prefer to do is scream the grace in their faces.

[B]

Got to. Yeah.

[A]

So they get it. They get it. I think that's only part.

[B]

Do you go before. I mean, obviously, if they bring out bread. Not praying before bread. You pray before the main course.

[A]

I think it is acceptable to pray before the main course. I will.

[B]

What if you're only getting appetizers?

[A]

Yeah, I actually. I pray before the bread. Generally. I will sometimes pray before eating. Like a jelly bean. I will call it a little.

[B]

Well, you're frivolous.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But you get up there in the end and you go, well, glad I was safe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're like, yeah, But, Michael, what about all those other sins you have?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Notice those.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You sure? Yeah.

[B]

We had pebble ice.

[A]

Yeah, I know what my slushy.

[B]

All right, my turn. Here we go. Chick fil a has been on a slow yet steady decline since they stopped allowing employees to hand make their lemonade.

[A]

Certainly, I.

[B]

You know, it's. They got. They. Every city you go to, it seems like there's one popping up. But I. I used to work there, and this is. I'm guessing this is a story where I was in charge of making the lemonade. And I got. You know, it's three things in there. Yeah.

[A]

Water, lemon, sugar.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

That's it. That's all I need.

[B]

Chick fil A. That's all you need. And they pray for it. Yeah, probably.

[A]

I'm sure they do. Yeah.

[B]

Got the water, got the. And I was 15 years old, by the way. Saturday afternoon, packed, got the water, got the lemonade. There's three people waiting at the. At the counter. We need some. Yeah. Couldn't find this third. Nowhere to be seen. I'm a new employee. This is my. I go. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Why not?

[B]

Five gallons. Yeah, yeah. You can't just.

[A]

Your forearms clean?

[B]

Yeah, dude, I got in there. I got to mix it all up, and I went and said, did you have a.

[A]

Like a glove on or anything?

[B]

No, no. Short sleeve.

[A]

Raw.

[B]

Short sleeve.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

You got a phrase for everything, but you weren't gonna say raw dog.

[A]

I wasn't on this show. I respect that. We're trying to be a family program.

[B]

I don't think that's.

[A]

Now they use that phrase. If you just fly on an airplane but don't watch a movie.

[B]

Yeah. Raw dog. The flight.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Have you done it? Yeah, I don't have it. No. That's crazy.

[A]

I once heard. I'm not gonna say who it was. That. A very serious presidential candidate and governor of Florida, but I'm not gonna say who that. He does that.

[B]

Is it related to me? He might be. Is that who we're talking about?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, same last name as me.

[A]

No, no, no, not that one.

[B]

Okay. All right. Yeah.

[A]

No, that guy. That guy's so decadent, he'd probably be eating like.

[B]

That's what people think I'm related to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's old Charlie. Chris.

[A]

Yeah. I would never think so low of you.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

No way. Not a chance.

[B]

They're on a steady decline. No, it's your turn.

[A]

Is it my turn?

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

A woman will be the president. Why is it I know they're all the women?

[B]

Questions.

[A]

A woman will be the president of the United States in our lifetime.

[B]

A woman will be president in our lifetime. And we're saying this before Mars, I guess.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You think?

[A]

Mr. Davies, could you please give me another point? No, I don't think so.

[B]

I agree. Yeah.

[A]

I don't think.

[B]

But I thought you would say.

[A]

Yes, the country is becoming decadent and ridiculous and all the rest of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

However, I was talking to a female friend of mine, and breaking news. Yeah, I was. Yeah. She says, you know, Michael, I just. I know it's politically incorrect, and.

[B]

Yeah. I don't think you can do an accent, but go ahead.

[A]

Now, listen, she's from Mexico.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, Michael, you know, I don't. I don't know. It's politically correct, but I don't want a woman to be president.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She said this to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think many people, including many women, have that prejudice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think 2016-2024. You compare those two elections.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Trump won men by, like, one more point.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

He won women by or he didn't. He. Kamala lost support among women by like seven points.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Women did not. They don't. They're not voting for the lady.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Look, you can say that's good or bad. I'm just saying that's.

[B]

Talk to them. Talk to them.

[A]

Talk to the ladies.

[B]

So you think it won't happen?

[A]

I don't think. Not yet. It could at some point.

[B]

Wouldn't you have thought that? Not in terms of those candidates, but in 2016, 2024, this culturally would have been the time.

[A]

Except you gotta remember there's a gap between the elites who want to castrate your children and ordinary people. And ordinary people are not. They're not that progressive, actually. They don't.

[B]

Turns out they look at their paycheck and go, what's this being taken out of here? They didn't really quite think about the women, too.

[A]

First of all, if Dragon Lady Hillary couldn't wrest that power from the men, I don't know that any other woman would. And the women who strive to be president.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't think they're the most popular women among men or women.

[B]

Interesting take. Yeah. They're not the ones that you want to hang with.

[A]

No. Queen Elizabeth. Sure. Make her Queen of America. Whatever.

[B]

I think I'm good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You want her on the show? I think I'm good.

[A]

Can someone get her?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Queen Elizabeth. Yeah.

[B]

But it's an interesting point.

[A]

Who would you pick?

[B]

Yeah. Not that we've seen.

[A]

Well, luckily there won't be any more presidential elections now that Trump is back in.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, he'll go to Barron Octavian and then we're.

[B]

Somebody's going to dig this up in 40 years. We told you. Yeah, they're going to have. Or they may. Or they might not even have genders.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Think about it this way, though. If they dig this up in 40 years and we're now several decades into Emperor Baron Octavian's reign, we're going to look like geniuses.

[B]

Yeah, we're going to look like geniuses. And just like, tell myself every day, just like, our parents are like, dude, we got to shoot this eight track tape. We're going to be like, okay. So there's this website called YouTube and they're like, what was it? I was like, okay, so like, you could just upload, like you could anything. First of all, you had to find Internet. And they're like, so Internet wasn't everywhere.

[A]

You're like, Internet be like, yeah. So there was this thing called the Internet. And it was mostly.

[B]

Yeah. But there was sometimes also. Yeah.

[A]

Card games that you could watch.

[B]

And there was that. There was the AOL and then there was this website called YouTube. And anybody could put whatever they want on it. Yeah, yeah. But they couldn't just think it in AI and it would go up there.

[A]

They could do anything they wanted. But it was mostly cat video.

[B]

Yes. They had to film it and then go and then press upload and it would take like, sometimes it would take an hour. What?

[A]

Yeah, they're just talking to us in like the glass jars that we're preserved in. Plugged into the matrix.

[B]

We're still feeling good, though. Australia finally did something right when they banned social media for kids under 16. Australia finally did something right and they banned social media for kids under 16. Easy, easy, easy.

[A]

That's not even 100%. That was a weak question. Fine point for me, but that's a weak question.

[B]

Who disagrees with that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They are a penal colony that they do all sorts of terrible things.

[B]

Yeah. But that people overlook that.

[A]

That's a no brainer. Yeah, yeah, we should. If anything, it should be like just a blanket.

[B]

Like, hey, you don't have it. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No phones. No.

[B]

We didn't know about it. Yeah, we didn't have. Yeah, you don't have anything.

[A]

No.

[B]

You can't be out here on the Internet. No. But you can't buy a cigarette. Can't vote. You can't. What else can't you do? Get a tattoo.

[A]

I think giving your kid access to the Internet other than in the most circumscribed way where like you're just over their shoulder while they do homework or whatever. I think it's child abuse.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I think it's child. Cause they're just gonna. Either most likely they're just gonna look at porn.

[B]

Less likely they'll find it.

[A]

They're gonna find it.

[B]

Immediate. They're gonna find it.

[A]

Yeah, they're going to. But let's say they don't even get into the porn. They're gonna be on social media. They're gonna get all these kind of weird body issues and they're gonna talk to weirdos and it's just. There's no good to come from that.

[B]

You could argue we shouldn't have it.

[A]

Yeah, true. You're right. You're right. Yeah.

[B]

And we're adults.

[A]

Why are we doing this show on the Internet?

[B]

That's insane. We shouldn't have this show. Yeah. Yeah. That's an interesting point. Yeah. I don't think 60. I mean, I didn't. When did you start? We were at the youth.

[A]

I remember getting my first computer, and I remember getting the Internet. I was like, six when we got the Internet dial up. And then I had a MySpace. My user handle was something to the effect of Italian Stallion or something.

[B]

Oh, we're gonna find it.

[A]

We'll look it up somewhere.

[B]

Yeah. Italian Stallion.

[A]

And then I had Facebook pretty quickly earlier.

[B]

That's like 2000. What, five. When you had to have a college.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It was like they did. Then they brought it to high schools. Yeah.

[B]

But then you get. But, like, the idea that. I remember being up, like, with aol Instant Message. I think what they're talking about, social media, is like, we should not be conversing with criminals.

[A]

No.

[B]

Your kids. Well, you're talking about the Internet, where you can. I think a kid could go on with some control. YouTube.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe look at whatever. Yeah. Or maybe go. Yeah. I don't know. With the parent. Parent watching.

[A]

Maybe the Michael N Show exclusively.

[B]

Anything from Daily Wire. But once you get. I remember somebody, like, messaging me on instant messenger, and I was like, what is going on? It was like, a woman or. And I was like, wait, it was.

[A]

Not a woman, by the way.

[B]

I've been chasing that high ever since Matt said it was not a woman. What is a woman? It wasn't who you were talking to.

[A]

Certainly not for sure. Many prescribed psychotropic drugs actually work by dampening the user's ability to sense spiritual realities. How would I answer that? Yes. Only inclusively, though, because they actually work by dampening your sense of everything. A lot of things become insensitive. Yeah. But part of that is grappling with spiritual reality. So I'm not saying it damages your ability to see demons or something. It just deadens your perception of everything.

[B]

Who cares about what people say about me on Twitter?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I now care about nothing.

[A]

I care about nothing.

[B]

Yeah. This is not a hype.

[A]

I've never been happier.

[B]

Yeah. This is not a hype.

[A]

I can't steal anything. Yeah, those are bad. One in five women are on those drugs.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes. One in five women.

[B]

What is included in them?

[A]

You know, all the antidepressants.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

No, no, I'm not saying, like. Like LSD or something.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But, like, the antidepressants, all the heavy psych drugs.

[B]

Psychotropic drugs.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You said psychedelic.

[A]

I believe I want to go back to the tape. I believe I said psychotropic.

[B]

Okay. All right. I was thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. In some cases, I wonder if they actually open one up to spiritual realities that maybe you shouldn't be open to.

[B]

You shouldn't be. Yeah. All right, so the antidepressants is what you're talking about.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And then you're just kind of like, your. Your sex drive is limited and you're just kind of. Every feeling, it's just a little dim. But you're not going to kill yourself. Yes, but they just.

[A]

Except the side effect of these drugs.

[B]

Is that you kill yourself, unfortunately.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know, again, it could come back to picking up the phone, call it your dad.

[A]

In that case, it legitimately does. And even I was talking to my wife about this. I'm not knocking all of psychiatry and psychology.

[B]

Gosh, dude, that's so crazy. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

The conversation I was having with my wife was, it's not that all psychology is. There's something to psychology. Yeah, yeah. It's just because in modern atheist life, we got rid of confession. Like, you no longer confess your sins to a minister of God. Gosh.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

So you just, like, talk to some guy and you're like, you know, my dad, he didn't hug me enough. And then they're like, great, here are some drugs. Yeah, that's it. It's just a sad replacement for sacrament, I think.

[B]

Dude. I think. I'm not Catholic, but I've long since said that the Catholic Church does have that figured out. Now, unfortunately, you gotta talk to a minister, and you might know him from week to week or I don't know how it actually works out.

[A]

Blow your voice if you have a radio show.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in. When that. Is it called a sacrament? What's it called?

[A]

Yeah, the sacrament.

[B]

Confession is a sacrament. Yeah. That you go, I mean, I've been in counseling or, you know, they're just like, hey, just write it down.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And burn it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Meaning what? Get it out of here.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then you usually find that you tell a buddy and he goes, oh, yeah. Maybe he doesn't say same, but he goes, oh, yeah, I knew. And you go, what? So this isn't.

[A]

It's not just me.

[B]

Yeah. And then. And then you can go down the process if you can't tell somebody. There's things you can do before that, and then you tell somebody. And now if you've been in the practice of it, there's no shame in it.

[A]

That's the other thing.

[B]

And that may be what the depression was, was the.

[A]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

Because that's what we should start something. We should start. I was gonna say cult, but, yeah, I think that's out there finally. Yeah.

[A]

This is where all of this ends, I think, you know, with. I've said it before, but I'm not the first to observe it. The devil always tells you right when you're about to sin, he's like, oh, just sin.

[B]

It's no big deal.

[A]

And then the minute you sin, he's like, ha, ha.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

You'll never be forgiven. But it's truly. If you just. At a psychological level, if you just say it.

[B]

Yeah, that's it. No, you're not wrong. And then you go, hey, I have lied, cheated, stolen. Should I verbalize those things? No, take this. Really. I mean. And I'm saying this to myself louder. Yeah, sorry. I'm saying this to that. You go, we're the same.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that.

[B]

You go, hey, if, like, I was at the. At the Taylor Swift concert, I went down in New Orleans, and it was great. And everybody in there was somehow the victim or that they're struggling or some guy this and that. And, dude, I'm sitting in a seat that's $3,000. Yeah. I go, you got the cheap seat. Yeah. And I'll go, hey, pause the show. Really quick. Pause the show. Everybody here, I know you're all crying about. Hey, you're doing great. Yeah, you're doing great. You're doing great, dude. Just. Just a quick celebration. You're all. You're doing very well. Very, very well. Just keep that in mind before we're all perspective here. Let me just. And that's. Oftentimes if somebody goes, you know, they get out of. Off the Internet. Go to. My buddy right now is in Africa, and he goes, dude, I have no problems compared to.

[A]

Yeah, like, I heard in Africa, some of the latte machines don't even froth the milk properly.

[B]

Unbelievable.

[A]

Can you imagine?

[B]

What are we doing here?

[A]

I know, I know.

[B]

Nah, this is wild. It would be more difficult to be a practicing Christian at Yale University than a practicing homosexual at Samford University, where I graduated from. Hold on. Let me read that again with a straight face. Sorry. Look at that.

[A]

Yeah, hold on. My producer also went to Sanford and is very much a practicing homosexual. So can you read it just so I have it?

[B]

He's like, I'm not saying. For me, okay. It would be more difficult to be a practicing Christian at Yale University than a practicing homosexual at Samford University, which is a Baptist college in Alabama. And before we get into this, I feel like you or me need to say what practicing is.

[A]

Yeah. Someone who.

[B]

What are you practicing?

[A]

You would have to say who has a robust religious life. Not just, you know, praying in your own head, but actually doing the things that attain to religion.

[B]

Okay, so you're not having alcohol in your dorm.

[A]

Well, you might if you're Catholic. You know, it's actually required.

[B]

It depends on what? Yeah, it depends on what? Yeah, you're going to church.

[A]

Going to church.

[B]

You got a Bible. You're carrying a Bible with you. You're praying in the cafeteria, praying before meals.

[A]

Yeah, that kind of thing.

[B]

And what is a practice?

[A]

You're trying not to sin. You're. You know.

[B]

Yeah, mostly. That I was just doing. Yeah, yeah. You're trying to try to follow the boat. And what is a practicing homosexual doing?

[A]

Well, I don't. Do I have a chalkboard or anything? I can.

[B]

I think.

[A]

I'm not. I'm not an expert, believe it or not, even though I went to Yale, but.

[B]

Oh, you did? I did.

[A]

But I was an atheist, so I wasn't. I wasn't really.

[B]

It should have been. Practicing atheist. Yeah. Yeah. That you.

[A]

That's pretty easy, actually.

[B]

It would be more difficult to be practicing Christian at Yale than a practicing homosexual at Sanford.

[A]

No, no. And here's why. Well, you tell me your answer. Did I get it right? I think it's harder to be a practicing homosexual. Yes.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Yes. Even though at Yale it's required to be a practicing homosexual, some people still avoid it. The reason is that if you're a Christian, you have the benefit of grace, and grace strengthens you and the virtues.

[B]

And all the rest.

[A]

Whereas at Sanford, I imagine they're pretty strict on the weird stuff.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And you might get away with having a, you know, a rainbow koozie. Yeah, but that's about as far as that's about.

[A]

Is that a euphemism?

[B]

Yeah, I hope not. The old rainbow koozie worked again.

[A]

Dude, back when my uncle was in Vietnam, he had a few rainbow koozies. Okay. The real reason excavation of Gobleki Tepe was stopped after 5% completion is because it's connected to Noah's Ark. Constructed post flood.

[B]

What does mean? What do you mean constructed post flood?

[A]

I have no idea what he meant by that. So I'm gonna leave off.

[B]

What do you mean? Oh, Noah's Ark. Let's just say Noah's Ark.

[A]

Let's just say Noah's Ark and pretend that this was written in a coherent way. No, the answer is no, because Noah's ark is in Turkey, in Kentucky.

[B]

I thought, oh, yeah, I messed up your joke, dude.

[A]

I messed those.

[B]

That's the.

[A]

But Gobekli Tepe is. I thought that was in Turkey. Is that not?

[B]

I think it is.

[A]

It is. So then. So then would you answer? I don't think it's connected to Noah's Ark or necessarily. I don't think that's why it was stopped. At least. Do you think that is why?

[B]

I do not. There's always those documentaries, they were like, look at this board. Like from a satellite, it looks like. And I go back to the. I go back to the miracles of the Bible many people witnessed. You walked across the Red Sea, got to the other side to go, nah, I don't think it's real. They started complaining as soon as they got there. You know, the people witnessed every. You saw the holes in Jesus hands and you go, I don't think so.

[A]

Five seconds later you're saying, you go.

[B]

And the unbelievable miracles of the New Testament, they witnessed them in person and they still go. So I've long since said, if you're looking for. If we found that thing, it would solidify it for me. It would not.

[A]

It would be, you know, they do this.

[B]

It would not.

[A]

There was a headline just the other day about this, what Jesus really looked like. And whenever you see past tense, you know you're dealing with a big lib atheist, a non believer. But what do they always do? So I think we have pretty good images of our Lord. I think we have a good idea of what our Lord looks like because we have the Shroud of Turin, which strikes me as miraculous. But we have pretty consistent depictions of our Lord throughout history going back to antiquity. And they all roughly look the same. And then the libs always basically concoct a picture of a monkey on AI or something. And they say, no, that. And you say, why do you think that's what our Lord looks like? And they say, well, because, you know, he was a Palestinian. Yeah. They say, because we found a random skull in the ground. And we said, it looks like, I don't know, there are 15 people in this room. We all look the same. You're gonna find our skulls. So they always do this.

[B]

And what conclusions are you gonna draw from it, right? That we found this. We found.

[A]

Also whenever they reconstruct it, they always make him look like an orangutan or something. It's so obviously.

[B]

And he looks like in the. He looks like Mel Gibson or Jim Cabezel.

[A]

Wallace was the one who looked Like Mel Gibson.

[B]

I mean, there's people that saw the. Pulling the coin out of the donkey's mouth.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then they go, I don't believe.

[A]

Right, that's. But it happens in people's lives. People experience miracles. And then they. Five seconds later they say, oh, well, never mind.

[B]

Including me and you, by the way. Yes, that's right.

[A]

Five seconds. Just like. So where can I sin again?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I go sin?

[B]

Yeah. They were like, God's not healing anybody that can't walk anymore. Yeah. Because doctors do that a thousand times a day.

[A]

And also sometimes people miraculously heal.

[B]

And that's a miracle.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. That you're like, dude, that people real talk and it's funny that we're. That I've been sober for five years. I've been sober for five seconds is a miracle.

[A]

Yes. Yeah, it is. Right? Right.

[B]

There is. You can't. Nobody can tell me that that's not a miracle.

[A]

I didn't realize this until I have buddies who were recovering addicts and alcoholics and stuff. And I always used to think when they'd say in AA or whatever, you can't do this without a higher power. And I was an atheist, I was like, yes, it's just. You take some credit for yourself, whatever. And then when I matured and actually spoke to people who have been through this and actually experienced my own, I don't know, attempts at growth and virtue and experience of grace, you realize. Yeah, no, you could. You would be a drop down drunk.

[B]

Without God's grace, let alone without just. Hey, no, like I said, social media just let anything run its course.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It leads. You will die.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I'm pretty sure there's a verse about that.

[A]

I think so.

[B]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's a couple verses about that. All right, here we go. When you think about it, most. Okay, most of Trey Kennedy's bits are basically the white woman version of blackface. Wow. Wait, hold on, hold. Whoa.

[A]

Wow. Read that again.

[B]

When you think about it, most of Trey Kennedy's jokes are basically the white woman version of blackface. Who's guessing? You are.

[A]

I'm guessing your answer.

[B]

Yeah. No, no.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

Do you think so?

[A]

Yeah, no, yeah, absolutely.

[B]

You think it's appropriation.

[A]

I don't see it as a necessarily a problem for a comedian to make jokes.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. Well, okay, I gotta say, I'm not.

[A]

Making any specific claims about any, but as general rule, I support comedians making jokes.

[B]

Yeah, same.

[A]

So do I even if that were the description, I'm not necessarily.

[B]

Well, you just gotta think about what. Well, the. And I do it the same. Is that. Who's consuming the product? White women.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So they've clearly signed off on it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Same with me. All the jokes I make about Christianity or they've clearly signed off of it, they're the ones at the show.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But I will say, how far do you go? If you were impersonating a woman, you'd be like, oh, my God, girl. Yes. Okay. You do that. Some people will go, I'll wear a wig. Some people go, I'll wear a wig. I'll wear a dress.

[A]

Some people say, I'll have the surgery.

[B]

Some people go, I'll wear the dress. I'll stuff my bra. Like, they're where. And it's. Where do you. But where you draw the line.

[A]

Well, to me, it seems to depend on the propriety of the joke.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

One time I was driving, there was some blackface nontroversy that was going on, and I got in a nontroversy. I will take credit for it.

[B]

I like that. Can I use that?

[A]

It's a good. You can steal it.

[B]

I'm saying it's from you. Good. Nontroversy. That's a nontroversy. I like that.

[A]

So I get in an Uber in la, and my driver's a black guy, but I knew he was a conservative because he was driving a Cadillac and had, like, an American flag somewhere. So we're driving around and something about blackface came on the radio. And I said, oh, yeah, you saw that blackface scandal. He goes, oh, man, I don't. I don't care.

[B]

Like, if it's in good fun, ask them.

[A]

Yeah, right. And I think, oh, it's mostly angry white liberals who are making a big deal out of this.

[B]

To keep it going.

[A]

To keep it going.

[B]

Like, there's a kid that, like, dressed up as, like, his favorite black football player.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And painted his. He loves that player.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What? Yeah, Usually, like. Well, he's not doing that. He's not doing it in malice.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like when I dressed up as Malcolm X. Yeah.

[B]

It's not in malice. It's not in malice.

[A]

Yes, that's right. Yep.

[B]

Malcolm X is a good one. You know, who knew I wouldn't dress up as Jesus?

[A]

I would not.

[B]

I know. Okay.

[A]

But Jeff Diesel did.

[B]

I. He's making a movie because I've done a bunch of bits about the disciples and, you know, Bible characters, and I. Jesus and Mary.

[A]

Yes. I go, yes, both.

[B]

And everybody was human in the Bible. So imagine if, you know, my parents told me when I was going to get to heaven, I was going to meet him, that I was going to meet, you know, Goliath. Not. Right, Goliath, he's in hell. Yeah, probably I was going to meet David or whoever. Right. That. You go, oh, I saw that bit you did about me. It was funny.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I go, I'm not just, just like the cross necklace or the. Oh, my gosh. I go, no, first for some views.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I. No, and I see it every now and then. And I go, I just think I'm doing, I'm doing.

[A]

I'm not doing a bit like dressing about our Lord or his mother. No, no, no, thanks.

[B]

Just like, yeah, I see people from Halloween dressed up as Jesus or, you know, down at the beach or go. I go, that, Yeah. I say, I can't say you shouldn't do it.

[A]

But I go, unless I'm acting in Persona Christi, I don't think so.

[B]

You're on your own on that one.

[A]

Gender reveals are a way for couples to signal that they should be avoided as friends at all costs, without question. Well, is that fair? I'll give you the point because that was my gut reaction.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But they all do it now. Yeah, they all do it. Including. Including, look, some are murderers, some are, but some I assume are good people. Yeah, and some are, I think, I assume, good people.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But I don't like the gender reveal.

[B]

They. If they, you know, Trump is like, you know, the panel appointments. Yeah, yeah, me and you. Gender reveals. Send it to us. We decide. We'll give you the stamp of approval because my sister in law had one and we were down at the beach and I knew the guy that had the helicopter. I got him to fly over and put out the confetti or whatever and it was great. I did it for her. But yeah, if you're saying, hey, come to my house on Saturday afternoon when the game's on, by the way, and we're gonna sit in our backyard and we're gonna fill out a Q and A.

[A]

Forget about the Q and A.

[B]

What do you think it's gonna be?

[A]

What they do is they blow things up and then people die.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

How many people died? Forest fires, Explosive. Yeah, that's the problem.

[B]

I say, you know, go ahead and do it, but just like, whatever gender, that kid better go on to be successful. That kid better go on to be successful.

[A]

You know, I actually think I Told my wife I wanted to do. I had a buddy who, for his first or second kid, he went to the bakery, gave the test results. The baker did like a weissing or something. And I said, oh, that's kind of cute. I told my wife I wanted to do that. He goes, absolutely not. That's gauche and ridiculous. I'm not doing that, Mac.

[B]

It's. What? Ridiculous?

[A]

Gauche. I don't know if she actually said gauche, but.

[B]

What is that?

[A]

It's the French word.

[B]

Oh, gauche and ridiculous. Okay, got it. Sure, sure, sure.

[A]

And so I. Absolutely not. Meg. And. But I kind of like the idea of it, however.

[B]

I like celebrating things. Yeah.

[A]

But I don't want to. Yeah, I like. And whimsy, but I don't want to get my head blown off.

[B]

I don't want to give. Yeah. I said. I just general. In general. And this doesn't count because this is our job. This. Is this for the Internet?

[A]

This is for the Internet.

[B]

No. Is this gender reveal for the Internet? Is it for you? Yeah. Have you ever seen, like. Have you seen, like a. I saw it the other day, like, a kid's birthday party. I was like, this. This kid hates this. This kid is not enjoying this. Like, it's for. You Went over the top of the decor and then are like, tag. All these businesses that I go, oh, this is for the Internet.

[A]

That's awful.

[B]

This is for the Internet.

[A]

I'll go a step further.

[B]

Not the kid.

[A]

No kids on social media. Not accessing social media. I mean, people should not post their.

[B]

Kids to social media until. Yeah.

[A]

Until ever. Until they're 25. I don't know.

[B]

Until they can decide.

[A]

Yeah. They don't want it. Why does. You know, I think about this.

[B]

Yeah. Or using them for likes and stuff.

[A]

So if some stranger. By the way, there's gonna be some creep out there. There's going to be. It's the Internet.

[B]

It's the Internet.

[A]

Some creep is good. Why do you want some stranger looking at the Internet?

[B]

The Internet is. I think that, like, everything came around and then, you know, when the radio came out, I'm sure they were like, this is right. Like, I can't. You just can't have these influences coming into your house. You don't know what they're going to say. Right. TV came out. I can't believe you just have all these channels. The Internet came out. Social media came out. I. I do have great hope in the future that they will figure it out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That they go. I can't believe back in 2000s, that we were just letting everybody on it.

[A]

Post their 5 year olds on Instagram so that mommy can feel the adrenaline rush. Her high school sweetheart commenting on it or something.

[B]

Making them jealous. Yeah. Men. Oh, this is a good one. Good one to end on. Men should never take a paternity leave. Not because there's anything wrong with taking care of the family, but because you don't want people to think you're a lesbian. Okay, I didn't read the end of that. Hold on, hold on. Who's guessing?

[A]

You gotta guess what I think.

[B]

Men should never take a paternity leave. Not because there's anything wrong with it, but because they don't want people to think you're a lesbian.

[A]

Does any more need to be said?

[B]

I think that's it.

[A]

I think that's.

[B]

That about covers it.

[A]

Self evident.

[B]

Yeah, I. What? Imagine. I mean, we. We got makeup on for this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we're. We don't really qualify to speak on.

[A]

And I'm wearing stilettos.

[B]

Just. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't see it, but I don't think if you're. If you're at a. If you're in a coal mine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you Tay. Fellas, I'll be back in April.

[A]

I gotta go chest feed.

[B]

My baby's having a wait.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

I take the time. If they're paying for it, I'll take the time. But I'm going to play golf. Yeah, if you're getting paid for it.

[A]

This is the other real problem. I've taken hours of paternity leave multiple. We scheduled my wife's most recent delivery. It was a C section.

[B]

Around the show.

[A]

Around the show?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I came in and I did the show.

[B]

I was joking.

[A]

The next morning we scheduled it. It was like, it's supposed to be Sunday. I bet we do Monday. Then you can do the show. We did it. And then I did, actually. I did a second film shoot and then I went back to the hospital and so maybe that's an extreme, but part of me says, what was I gonna do? She's in the hospital. Called the nurses. She told me, go away for a few hours and then I stay home for. I'm gonna change. We don't want you here.

[B]

Hey, actually, you know what would be helpful? Go to work, make us some money and send me a nanny.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Not you. You have clearly shown your best contribution to this family is in the coal mine. The coal mine.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

Yeah. Not here. Helping you make a bottle.

[A]

What am I. I'll just mess that up and then. So if I go out and make the money, if I work extra hard.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can maybe afford one night of a night nurse. Have you heard? You know, night nurses? Have you. Did you ever. Night nurses, it is the most lucrative profession on the face of the earth. They make $100 million an hour, and.

[B]

They come in overnight.

[A]

Yes. And they sleep for a lot of the night.

[B]

Gosh, dude. Yeah. And they're probably.

[A]

But it is a tough job because then the baby wakes up.

[B]

My buddy said that. He said before he got married, and I don't know if. Take it or leave it, he said before he got married, he's a businessman. He said, hey, babe, look, if I have an hour free. Yeah, everybody, you're not gonna want me fixing the toilet, hanging the mirrors, doing the laundry. If I can do an hour of work on this computer, I will make this family millions of dollars. I will never cut the grass.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But I will always have enough money. We would pay for. Have some. And they shook hands, and they never talked about it again.

[A]

This is what I tell my wife. I say, you don't want me hanging the pictures or fixing. No. Because if I can go do one hour of work at Daily Wire's wages, I can bring home 13 to $14.

[B]

Before taxes if Ben approves.

[A]

And if Ben approves, sends me my check from this guy, we can hire an illegal alien and lock him up in our home and never let him out.

[B]

And we just show him what to do. He's not. We can't speak the same language. No. I think we solved it, brother.

[A]

Who won?

[B]

It's tied right now.

[A]

Who runs this show?

[B]

I have no idea.

[A]

I work so hard around. Here's a lot of pressure to read what people put me on the. Do we have a tiebreaker Question. All right, ready? Forget about that. You've done enough, Mr. Davis. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Two out of three.

[B]

You want to do it? Yeah. Two out of three.

[A]

And on shooting.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

[B]

All right, let's go, baby. Come on, dude. I was in your head the whole time, dude. Oh, my.

[A]

You were in my head the whole time?

[B]

I was in your head the whole time, dude. Has anyone ever beat you once or twice in the show?

[A]

Never. I've never done that in the show. That was because of the producer error.

[B]

Yeah, producer error.

[A]

That was devastating.

[B]

Yeah. People are gonna come to me in public, and they were like, dude. I go, how'd you find out about me? They go, yes or no? Michael Gold. Where else when you beat him? Yeah.

[A]

John, I'm going to start to say thank you for coming in. It was extremely well done. Go see John's tour jokes for humans.

[B]

Let's do it. Starting in February. February, we're back.

[A]

See you next time.

[B]

That was great. That was hilarious there.