Comedian Ari Shaffir Drinks & Answers Tough Questions: YES or NO

Summary

The Michael Knowles Show – Episode Summary

Title: Comedian Ari Shaffir Drinks & Answers Tough Questions: YES or NO
Release Date: February 17, 2025
Host: Michael Knowles
Guest: Ari Shaffir
Description: Michael Knowles invites comedian Ari Shaffir for an engaging episode where they play a twist on the classic "Yes or No" game, delving into politics, comedy, social issues, and more. The episode blends humor with sharp commentary, offering listeners insightful perspectives on contemporary culture.

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1. Introduction to the "Yes or No" Game (00:34 – 02:03)

Michael Knowles kicks off the episode by explaining the unique format of the show—a game designed to test how well he and Ari Shaffir know each other. Each host poses a yes-or-no question privately to the other, attempts to guess the response, and scores points based on accuracy. The playful competitive spirit sets a lively tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:

• Michael Knowles [00:43]: "Welcome to yes or no, the bibulous battle to discover who knows whom better."

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2. The Boundaries of Comedy and Offense (02:07 – 04:05)

The conversation shifts to the nature of comedy, particularly the belief that a true comedian must not be easily offended. Ari challenges this notion by sharing personal anecdotes about comedians who have taken offense, arguing that while humor can push boundaries, it's unrealistic to expect complete immunity from feeling offended.

Notable Quotes:

• Michael Knowles [02:07]: "Do you believe that to be a real comic you cannot be offended by anything?"
• Ari Shaffir [03:13]: "Yeah, my friend made a joke about 9/11, and there was somebody in the audience... You're not going to enjoy this."

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3. Responsibility and Causes of the LA Fires (04:05 – 07:00)

Michael and Ari discuss the recent LA fires, debating potential causes ranging from negligence by PG&E to more sensational theories. This segment highlights their differing perspectives on accountability in environmental disasters.

Notable Quotes:

• Ari Shaffir [06:59]: "Constant lack of safety measures."
• Michael Knowles [07:05]: "Homeless or not really? Cartesian."

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4. Psychedelics and Personal Reflections (07:00 – 12:25)

Ari posits that the world would benefit if everyone experienced a psychedelic trip, exploring how such experiences can foster self-awareness and empathy. Michael counters by sharing his cautious stance on psychedelics, emphasizing maintaining control over one's mental faculties.

Notable Quotes:

• Ari Shaffir [08:36]: "The world would be better if everyone had at least one psychedelic trip."
• Michael Knowles [10:17]: "I was really tempted by psychedelics... but I had a bunch of friends that got really into acid."

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5. Racism, Jokes, and Social Commentary (12:28 – 17:00)

The hosts delve into the sensitivity of racial jokes and the evolving meanings of terms like "gay" and "woke." Michael attempts to reclaim "gay" to signify happiness, while Ari vehemently disagrees, asserting that such language shifts dilute the original meanings and foster misunderstanding.

Notable Quotes:

• Michael Knowles [16:07]: "Gay means happy and delightful."
• Ari Shaffir [16:13]: "No, it means lame and retarded, and that's what that was."

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6. Stand-Up Comedy and Gender Dynamics (23:00 – 26:50)

Ari critiques the current landscape of stand-up comedy, particularly the rise of female comedians and shifts in comedic standards. He challenges Michael's knowledge of contemporary comedians, leading to a lively exchange about the qualities that define successful humorists.

Notable Quotes:

• Ari Shaffir [25:35]: "Hefty. Adrienne's fat. Michelle Wolf."
• Michael Knowles [25:48]: "She goes after white chicks so hard."

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7. Political Jokes and Public Perception (26:50 – 32:00)

The discussion turns to political humor, focusing on a Trump performance at Madison Square Garden. Michael recounts the mixed reactions and the politicization of jokes, while Ari analyzes the broader implications of using comedy as a tool for political messaging.

Notable Quotes:

• Michael Knowles [28:09]: "It's the guy who shot up the Pizzagate place."
• Ari Shaffir [31:04]: "People suck. They just were just like, let's just offer this guy up. Who cares if it's true or not?"

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8. Rapid Fire Round: Hot Takes and Controversial Opinions (35:00 – 40:54)

In a high-energy segment, Michael and Ari engage in a rapid-fire round of yes-or-no questions covering diverse topics such as the efficacy of fat-shaming for public health, the status of comedians like Louis CK, conspiracy theories surrounding Tupac's death, and corporate responsibilities in political discourse.

Notable Quotes:

• Michael Knowles [35:27]: "I have a very rational fear of gays."
• Ari Shaffir [36:55]: "Do you think Diddy killed Tupac? No."
• Michael Knowles [37:19]: "Bush needs to be made an example."

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9. Closing Remarks and Promotional Content (41:00 – 43:30)

As the episode wraps up, Michael and Ari reflect on the game's outcome—ending in a tie—and discuss the futility of polarized political discourse. Michael segues into promoting his Netflix special, while Ari signs off with humorous final thoughts, leaving listeners with a blend of humor and contemplation.

Notable Quotes:

• Ari Shaffir [40:28]: "Do something of merit."
• Michael Knowles [43:16]: "Blessed you to. To be avoiding. I'm trying to fight back all the nonsense."

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Key Takeaways:

• Comedy's Boundaries: The episode explores the balance between pushing comedic boundaries and maintaining respect for sensitive topics.
• Language and Meaning: Discussions highlight the complexities of evolving language and its impact on societal understanding.
• Political Satire: The hosts examine how humor intersects with political messaging and public perception.
• Personal Views: Both Michael and Ari share their personal stances on issues like psychedelics and social dynamics within the comedy industry.

Overall, this episode of "The Michael Knowles Show" offers a spirited and thought-provoking dialogue between two sharp minds, blending humor with incisive commentary on the cultural and political landscape.

Transcript

[Ari Shafir]

Is this gay? Buddy, there's only one right answer.

[Michael Knowles]

It's not straight.

[Ari Shafir]

Wow.

[Michael Knowles]

Now I am fine with that. Being gay. Yeah, because gay means happy and delightful.

[Ari Shafir]

No, it means lame and retarded. And that's what that was.

[Michael Knowles]

Hello, everybody. I'm Michael Knowles. This is yes or no. Very exciting.

[Ari Shafir]

Nice.

[Michael Knowles]

Welcome to yes or no, the bibulous battle to discover who knows whom better. My guest today is comedian Ari Shafir, whose new Netflix comedy special America's Sweetheart is out now. We'll get to see a teaser later. How do we play? I will ask Ari a yes or no question. He will select his answer away from my prying eyes. Then I will guess how he answered. If I guess correctly, I get a point. If I guess incorrectly, I lose a point. No matter how I guess, I will probably drink. Then it's Ari's turn. Neither of us has seen the questions beforehand. The questions cover various and sundry topics, from the philosophical to the anatomical and everything in between. Whoever has the most points wins. The stakes could be higher. Let's get started. Ari, thank you for being here. That was great.

[Ari Shafir]

That was great.

[Michael Knowles]

That's a fancy looking drink.

[Ari Shafir]

It's a Godfather. It's the Padrone in South America.

[Michael Knowles]

I've got a martini, though. I don't know, I think someone slipped a mickey in it. It's kind of fizzy.

[Ari Shafir]

It's bubbly.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Ari Shafir]

I barely see a bubbly martini.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay. I always say, chin chin, to your health.

[Ari Shafir]

You can't really cheer them.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay, that's good. I always say if you win, you can. You get to drink. If you lose, you have to drink.

[Ari Shafir]

Okay. Okay. Yeah. I want to stumble out of here.

[Michael Knowles]

Do you believe that to be a real comic you cannot be offended by anything? Do you believe that to be a real comic you cannot be offended by anything? They're good and shuffled.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay, so that's your guess.

[Ari Shafir]

Okay.

[Michael Knowles]

Put it right in the comic. You cannot. I think you're gonna say.

[Ari Shafir]

It'S tough. You actually. To really understand the question, you have.

[Michael Knowles]

To figure out double negatives, what the.

[Ari Shafir]

Other guy's gonna do.

[Michael Knowles]

I think you say no. A comedian can be offended by some things. No.

[Ari Shafir]

Okay, no, you're correct.

[Michael Knowles]

So there are some limits.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Who says you can't be offended?

[Michael Knowles]

This is. Sometimes you hear this. Oh, pure beautiful comedy. Someone can walk up and call your mother a whore and you have to applaud them for it or whatever.

[Ari Shafir]

Oh, we just prefer people not be offended. But you can get offended. You just have to, like, leave. Yeah, it's all right.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, you could be offended.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. My friend made a joke about 9 11, and there was somebody in the audience, he goes, my brother died, 9 11. And he was like, oh, this is never going to be for you. Yeah, you got to go out. You got to get out of here. We're all going to be enjoying this. It's just. You're not going to enjoy this.

[Michael Knowles]

There's no. You're not going to. You can't tailor that joke to that guy.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, it's just like, comics get offended, too. Yeah, I like lame jokes.

[Michael Knowles]

Comics get offended because of how lame they are.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Sometimes, like, you see a roast that's the best. You see it roasted. Somebody make fun of you, but they'll do something bad. But then, you know, you're on camera, so you can go, yeah, that's offensive when it includes you, too.

[Michael Knowles]

You know, you're part of it. You're sullied by it.

[Ari Shafir]

I don't mind bad jokes as long as I don't have to be part of it. Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

All right, now you're up.

[Ari Shafir]

Okay.

[Michael Knowles]

Take your game piece away.

[Ari Shafir]

Damn. Nice. Really kind of pissed. Okay. Production value on this is wild.

[Michael Knowles]

You guys can't see it.

[Ari Shafir]

I thought these would be printed on here.

[Michael Knowles]

That's a brand name. Brand name Scotch Tape.

[Ari Shafir]

It's not even a full tape. They really narrowed it. Like, Jews and. Okay. Jews and Palestinians could solve their differences by bonding over their mutual love of digging tunnels. This is a comparison I have made a lot of times. And by the way, Mexicans, you're invited to the table. Jews and Palestinians could solve their differences by bonding over their mutual love of digging tunnels. Yes or no? Could Jews and Palestinians solve their differences bonding over their mutual love of digging tunnels? Yeah, that's a lot. To the question, could they solve those differences? Do they both love digging? TS what if they both. That don't and still. I guess they could.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay, I've got my answer.

[Ari Shafir]

You either think that they could solve their differences through that. I think you're. I don't know enough about you. I think you're a kind of guy who says, get. Get him to the table. We can work anything out. So I'm going to say that you say, yes, they could solve those differences.

[Michael Knowles]

There it is.

[Ari Shafir]

We got a game.

[Michael Knowles]

They could. Because the other thing is, right now we're thinking two dimensionally. You know, we're thinking. But really, what if you change the direction of the tunnels? So, like, for instance, the Palestinians are digging tunnels Into Israel. What if they dug them into Egypt or something? The Palestinians get their tunnels. The Israelis get rid of the Palestinians.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Everyone's happy.

[Ari Shafir]

Everyone's happy. And then they could have, like a guest speaker, like someone from Vietnam. Yeah. Like, let me show you about some barbecues we had down there. You can really doll it up. You guys are just using for transport you can live in these days.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, yeah. Wow, that's beautiful.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay. A homeless person started the LA fires.

[Ari Shafir]

The only way I could really know is if I'm the one who started them. And then it would be, am I.

[Michael Knowles]

Homeless or not really? Cartesian. Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

Okay, let's see. A homeless person for the LA virus.

[Michael Knowles]

Yes.

[Ari Shafir]

Oh, I don't know, but I believe it was PG and E. You do?

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

Constant lack of safety measures.

[Michael Knowles]

Did you think it was PG and E or even, like, right away? Newsom himself.

[Ari Shafir]

Oh, Newsom went in there and just.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, basically. Yeah. Burn it all down.

[Ari Shafir]

It could also have been a fat chick who's learned to be okay with her body weight. Having her thighs go together so fast.

[Michael Knowles]

That it's like Flint will start.

[Ari Shafir]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With jorts or something. Or just creates a friction. Yeah. When she should have.

[Michael Knowles]

But she could have a home. She could be housed.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Oh, right.

[Michael Knowles]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

I really don't know.

[Michael Knowles]

I don't know.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. It's funny, though. Everybody went right to, like, who did it. Like, hey, go help them, though. First.

[Michael Knowles]

First time I ever went to la.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

I went up, I said, I want to see the Hollywood sign. I love cigars. So I go up.

[Ari Shafir]

Went up there for the first time.

[Michael Knowles]

Did you?

[Ari Shafir]

I lived up there for 12 years. Been back for 10, and I never was up there.

[Michael Knowles]

It's like New Yorkers with the Empire State Building. You know, if you're there a lot, you don't go. But I went up and I said, that is really cool. And you know what? I'm going to smoke a cigar. And all these, they come by, they're screaming at me, what's the matter? They hate smoking. I was like, steve Martin and the jerk. This guy hates cans, you know? And I'm smoking my cigar, and then I realized it's because it can burn the whole city.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they can. You can't even smoke cigarettes in your car. On the way up, the window's up.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

They're, like, real strict about it.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

Do they find out who actually started it or is just a bunch of theories?

[Michael Knowles]

No. It's going to be like Notre Dame Cathedral. They're going to. We're going to be like, it was, wasn't it, the Muslims. And they'll be like, no, it was, you know, just a Rand cigarette or something. No one's going to ever find out, ever. But it was probably the homeless.

[Ari Shafir]

I will say it might not have been PGA, but PGA has started over 1,000 fires in California. So why would you think it's not.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, you're right.

[Ari Shafir]

That's called a lead, boys. This. The world would be better if everyone had at least one psychedelic trip. Now, what do I know about Michael Knowles? Is he straight edge? Michael, before you answer, I'm going to tell you something, okay. Do you believe in God? Do I do. God makes things for reasons. We can't know them all. But he makes things for a reason.

[Michael Knowles]

Yes.

[Ari Shafir]

Why would he make mushrooms if he didn't want us to take it? Answer your question.

[Michael Knowles]

Wow. It's a lot to think about. It's kind of leading the witness, you know.

[Ari Shafir]

The world would be better if everyone had at least one psychedelic trip. I gotta say, yes, you'd be crazy not to think that everyone. It would obviously be better. There's only one acceptable answer.

[Michael Knowles]

Please have.

[Ari Shafir]

That's crazy.

[Michael Knowles]

That's crazy.

[Ari Shafir]

How would it not be better? How wouldn't it be improved? Here, you talk to God. He said, pick up the phone, I want to talk to you.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, but he. He also created, like, you know, I don't know, avocados. Doesn't mean I want to eat them. They're no good, but made them.

[Ari Shafir]

But if everyone had access to avocados, it wouldn't be better.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, but now they won't. Cause Trump is slapping tariff signs.

[Ari Shafir]

You think it wouldn't be better, though?

[Michael Knowles]

No, because I'm gonna quote Paul McCartney here, okay? Paul McCartney gave this story. He said. John said. John said, you know, if you have some lsd, then it'll rewire your brain. And I thought, you know, well, my brain's all I got, you know, I don't want to lose my brain, man. You know, and that's kind of how I feel. I was really tempted by psychedelics because, listen, back in my wayward youth, man, I had a few puffs of the devil's lettuce every so often, you know, a couple of jazz cigarettes. But I had a bunch of friends that got really into acid.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

And the thing. And mushrooms and. This is the thing, though.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

All it takes is one, man. And then I take some tab of acid, and then I think I'm a banana. And Start peeling my skin off.

[Ari Shafir]

Only for, like, 10 hours.

[Michael Knowles]

What's it like?

[Ari Shafir]

You just. You remove yourself from your ego. You get to view the whole world without, like, connection to it. And so you can look at yourself with like, oh, that's a guy who's just going through this. And you're not, like, trying to defend your own actions. So you're like, oh, that guy should like his friends. He loves them more.

[Michael Knowles]

That guy, meaning you.

[Ari Shafir]

You and yourself. You know everything about that guy. You know a little bit about lots of people, but you know the most about yourself. Yeah, but because you're, like, trying to defend your actions all the time.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

I don't know if that's the ego or whatever, but, like, then you don't, you know, improve because. But if you can, like. You ever play golf?

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

Play basketball?

[Michael Knowles]

I know both.

[Ari Shafir]

Do you hit a shot? Then you decide which. Which shot to hit from.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

Everyone ends up. There's some point in the golf course where you hit one here in the sand, close, and I hit one further away in the fairway. And we both argue about which one's ball is better. And you're both defending your own ball. But if you looked at it with, like, I don't know, here's two balls, we'd agree.

[Michael Knowles]

Would you agree?

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, you'd agree that one's better or that one's better. But because you're, like, looking at your own thing, you want yours to be better. So with mushrooms, it takes away the ability.

[Michael Knowles]

Did you find. This is my big objection. Mushrooms. I've had friends who got into psychedelics, and one thing they tell me one, though. One.

[Ari Shafir]

One time.

[Michael Knowles]

Psychedelic.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Okay.

[Michael Knowles]

One thing they tell me is, you know, man, I've heard this from multiple people. They'll be like, yeah, you know, man. You know, man, they'll say, I just. I felt so much more at peace with myself. I wasn't so worried about, like, sin and guilt and shame.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

But, man, I think guilt and shame are great.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Okay.

[Michael Knowles]

I'm very pro guilt and shame. You know, Like, I.

[Ari Shafir]

My superpower. I don't like superpower. Not to be able to feel shame. So I could just do whatever.

[Michael Knowles]

It's good for a comedian.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, exactly. Karen's. You got it.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. All right. Is this racist?

[Ari Shafir]

And now we're going to watch a video. This is. Hold on. I need help build a deck. Yes. They think they're coming over to my house. What they don't know is that we're not going to my house. We're going somewhere else. I'm not going to ruin the surprise, but we'll be there in a minute. I remember this video earlier for this for YouTube. Oh, boy.

[Michael Knowles]

Was this like Ebomb's World or something? I am.

[Ari Shafir]

A long time ago.

[Michael Knowles]

I didn't realize I was in the presence of royalty.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, thanks. This is every 14 year old boy's like first foray into the Internet.

[Michael Knowles]

That was an amazing bit.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, yeah, it was pretty funny. It was out there. We did it for National Lampoons. And then. And then like right at the beginning of like Ebomb's World. Yeah. And somebody ripped it to the Internet. YouTube was early, early YouTube. So people with no context, like, what the F is this?

[Michael Knowles]

That was a great bit.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, thanks, thanks.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay. I think you'll say it's racist.

[Ari Shafir]

Yes. And here's why. Not what you're thinking. Here's why it's racist. It was just a racial joke. Those people all got, you know, gave them about 50 bucks. That wasn't actually a.

[Michael Knowles]

A sting operation. Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

It was a. It was a library in that. Nice. It's because I still have that shirt. That was over 20 years ago. And I'm a Jew who still has an article of clothing from 20 years ago. And that is racist.

[Michael Knowles]

Not against the Mexicans.

[Ari Shafir]

Not against the Mexicans. In the last place you'd look. Anti Semitism. Yes.

[Michael Knowles]

I remember watching that the first time. I thought, this is a very anti Semitic video. So obvious. Wow. Amazing.

[Ari Shafir]

That got me a lot of death threats.

[Michael Knowles]

Amazing. Did it really?

[Ari Shafir]

Oh, yeah. My friend Duncan Drussel put up. It was like early Internet, man. It was so fun. And he just put in artistic terrorism. Was his website. He put in like, hey, prank call my friend Ari Shabir. This is before that came out. Prank call my friend Ari Shaffir. Best one he recorded. I'll give you 20 bucks. And so then that came out. Everyone started Googling me. I used my real name dumb. And then the first thing would come up was like, Ari Shafir with phone number. So I would just start getting phone calls like, I'll build a deck in your ass, homes. It was so great. I'm like, what is this? Wow.

[Michael Knowles]

Fast forward to the Trump era. You know, you're on the winning side now.

[Ari Shafir]

It's got no life.

[Michael Knowles]

You're right. Nice.

[Ari Shafir]

Kids like it. Oh, here we go. Oh, this is great. Is this gay? Dum dum dum. Wow, buddy. There's only one right answer.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. Now hold on, I gotta guess. I gotta.

[Ari Shafir]

I know.

[Michael Knowles]

I gotta Guess is that.

[Ari Shafir]

Be a man. Own up to what you did. Own up to your crimes. Own up to your crimes. And the production value. All of you were part of that. It's obviously gay. It's so freaking gay.

[Michael Knowles]

It is gay.

[Ari Shafir]

It is gay. Oh, my God.

[Michael Knowles]

It's not straight.

[Ari Shafir]

Wow.

[Michael Knowles]

Now, wow.

[Ari Shafir]

How did you not get deported from a music town for that?

[Michael Knowles]

I'm gonna tell you, though, I am fine with that being gay, because I want to reclaim the word. You know, gay means happy and delightful. And right now, like, for instance, have you heard this term, the woke.

[Ari Shafir]

No. It means lame and retarded, and that's what that was.

[Michael Knowles]

Well, but even I was thinking about this the other day. I was thinking about this. So gay is like happy.

[Ari Shafir]

I can't even look at you.

[Michael Knowles]

No, listen, I don't. My shoes are brown. I'm not even wearing the suede ones now.

[Ari Shafir]

You're not wearing socks.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, well, I'm still not wearing socks. And I can do a little pas de bourree, but I. The. So you ever heard of the woke? Right? Have you heard of this new phrase, the woke, Right. It's like.

[Ari Shafir]

I love it.

[Michael Knowles]

It's referring. It's like the fascist extreme.

[Ari Shafir]

It's. Karen's on the other side.

[Michael Knowles]

So it's. But if that. If it means that the extreme, edgy, hip. If that means that woke is the new based, which means woke is the new base. Woke is the new base, which means straight is the new gay. And then I was even thinking the etymology of the word. Can I use a naughty word?

[Ari Shafir]

There's a lot of dancing around in apology. Hold it.

[Michael Knowles]

Can I. Can I say. Maybe they can bleep it out, the word.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Etymologically, it's related to fascist, like, bundle of sticks.

[Ari Shafir]

Okay.

[Michael Knowles]

So basically.

[Ari Shafir]

But it means something different now.

[Michael Knowles]

But. Well, that's what I'm saying. Can we reclaim the word? Like, instead of being based, straight, patriotic. Should we be. Is it now cool to be woke? Gay?

[Ari Shafir]

No, no, sexual. That had nothing to do with that. That whole thing was gay. The production value was gay. The little wink thing was gay. The thinking you're awesome. That was gay. That was from start to finish, gay. I could see someone goes, hey, how about we do a take where you get on the table? It's gay. They're gay for suggesting it. You're gay for doing it. That's gay.

[Michael Knowles]

Can I. I'm out of here. Here's my only defense.

[Ari Shafir]

Part of this. Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

My only other defense.

[Ari Shafir]

They throw yourself at the court and the mercy of them.

[Michael Knowles]

My own. They. They initially wanted me to wear a turtleneck too.

[Ari Shafir]

Oh.

[Michael Knowles]

So, okay, so it's a little straighter than that.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Thanks for fighting back.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. Okay. All right, well, I. I take my licks. And by the way, I'm not gay, even though my boyfriend is. All right. Don't forget that. Now I will tease you no longer. My friends. My best selling game, yes or no, Exclusively available at Daily Wire shop is expanding yet again.

[Ari Shafir]

Oh, really?

[Michael Knowles]

The all it is. The all new yes or no dating and relationships expansion pack is now available for pre order. Look at that. Look at that beautiful pack. Got a nice little heart in the middle there.

[Ari Shafir]

Good design.

[Michael Knowles]

You can test your relationships and how well you know those around you by exploring such topics as stay at home girlfriends or just modern day concubines, fur babies or. Please do. Yeah, please. What's that one say?

[Ari Shafir]

Relationships should have defined roles. For example, so this network.

[Michael Knowles]

Any of those you read could. Could end your career.

[Ari Shafir]

Daily Wire is hilarious. Marriages full marriages fail because of lack of communication. Oh my God. This whole thing is gay. It's okay to break up with text messages now. We're back to normal.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

Okay. Oh, no, I'm not really.

[Michael Knowles]

This is a game within a game.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

This is a.

[Ari Shafir]

This is a relationship game. So this will make your relationship stronger.

[Michael Knowles]

They will, Guaranteed. If you go to dailywire.com shop today.

[Ari Shafir]

If you play these on mushrooms, it'll hit far harder.

[Michael Knowles]

It'll be great for your relationship.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Oh, these are pretty fun.

[Michael Knowles]

There you go. We'll give you a great discount on that. 10% off for you, my friend. My friend.

[Ari Shafir]

Commercial in history. Oh, okay.

[Michael Knowles]

I've got one for you.

[Ari Shafir]

I mean, did Ben Shapiro see that?

[Michael Knowles]

He directed that. Actually, he wrote it. We've overcomplicated cancel culture. It's not about the left or right. It's really just Kobe Bryant fans. Wow. What's your answer? I say.

[Ari Shafir]

Should I get one of those martinis?

[Michael Knowles]

I kind of want a Godfather.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, let's swap these.

[Michael Knowles]

So I get a Godfather, I get a little backup Godfather. I catch up. I say you say yes.

[Ari Shafir]

No. There is no cancel culture. It's a geezer term that's about five years ago. Literally nobody's talking about it anymore.

[Michael Knowles]

Why did it end?

[Ari Shafir]

Because like every word, you guys expanded it so much. Expanded so much. So where it has no meaning anymore. Nazi, fascist. It doesn't mean the same thing. So you have different people arguing about different word like meanings.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

So like, is this guy a Nazi? Somebody Goes clearly, yes. Someone, a Holocaust survivor's son was like, clearly, no.

[Michael Knowles]

Right.

[Ari Shafir]

Then we'll never communicate. We're talking about different things.

[Michael Knowles]

Right.

[Ari Shafir]

And that's what happened here.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

[Ari Shafir]

It was that you'll never have ability to work again. Some people say that. Other people are like, are you losing work over it?

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

Other people are like, is it just mean you got in trouble? So we're all talking about different stuff. So they just kind of went away. Just do your work.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, Yeah, I agree. Even, I think 15 years ago, people feel like you're a racist or whatever. It's like, no, I'm not. No, I'm not, man. Seriously. And. But now you're racist. Sure.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Who even cares?

[Michael Knowles]

Whatever.

[Ari Shafir]

It's the dumbest issue in America, and we're constantly talking about it.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, I'm giving you that. I'll admit when I'm wrong. Let's go. I'll admit when I'm wrong.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. And I'll admit when I'm gay. Right now. Go to helixsleep.com knowles I will admit I did not appreciate in my early life how much of a difference a quality mattress can make. I've had my Helix now for something like four years, maybe more than four years at this point. It is unbelievable how lovely my sleep is. Not all this tossing and turning every single night. You know that problem you used to wake up with where whatever, your lower back kind of hurts, your neck is all crooked, whatever. That can be gone. Because what makes Helix different is their personalized approach. They take the time to match you with the perfect mattress for your specific needs. I absolutely adore my Helix. In fact, I would strongly recommend you not only get a Helix for yourself, but if you want to be charitable like me, you get a Helix for your kids, maybe you get a Helix even if you have a guest room. Go to helixsleep.com knowleskinewles for 27% off site wide, plus two free dream pillows with mattress purchase, plus free bedding bundle. Two dream pillows, sheet set, mattress protector with any lux or elite mattress order. Helixsleep.com knowles for 27% off site wide, plus two free dream pillows with mattress purchase, plus free bedding bundle. All that great stuff with any luxe or elite mattress order. Helixsleep.com knowles do not miss out.

[Ari Shafir]

Being a female comedian isn't hard. Oh, boy, this is gonna go somewhere. I should have been like. They're like, why would you not go to. And they offer me this, like, are you sure I'm like, what do you mean?

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

Why?

[Michael Knowles]

Why not? What would they make me say on camera?

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, being a female comedian is not hard. You just need to be hefty, Dikey. Or Jewish. Wow. Wow.

[Michael Knowles]

Oof.

[Ari Shafir]

Hefty. You didn't shy away from dikey, but you shied away from fat. By the way, the twist of orange in here, whoever made this, that's a solid. That's great. A lot of people miss that.

[Michael Knowles]

That's an impressive drink. Okay, I've got my answer.

[Ari Shafir]

Now I'm gonna say. What would you say? It's not what I'd say.

[Michael Knowles]

Not what you'd say. You have no ownership of this opinion.

[Ari Shafir]

How well do you know standup? I heard you didn't know who Nate Bargazi was until a week ago.

[Michael Knowles]

I do. I heard the name.

[Ari Shafir]

He's the number one grossing comedian in the world. So you don't know anything about comedy?

[Michael Knowles]

I. I know the beginning and end of comedy.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Norm MacDonald. That's all I know about comedy.

[Ari Shafir]

I'm hoping you're going to say, ah, man. Yeah, I don't know. I think you. I think you're going to say yes, but I don't know on. I'm not. I'm not saying this yet. It is. Oh, there's more to it, cuz.

[Michael Knowles]

What if you say yes and then I say no and then you look.

[Ari Shafir]

So you don't watch any standup?

[Michael Knowles]

I watch some standup.

[Ari Shafir]

Just Norm.

[Michael Knowles]

Just Norm. Clips on re. Yeah. No. Some other guys, sometimes.

[Ari Shafir]

It's. There's definitely more to it. I think you're going to say yes, but there's definitely more to it than that.

[Michael Knowles]

It doesn't. It's just my opinion.

[Ari Shafir]

It's just your opinion?

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and you say no.

[Michael Knowles]

Come on, you knew the answer. I knew you knew the answer.

[Ari Shafir]

There's so much more to it.

[Michael Knowles]

Please.

[Ari Shafir]

It's not that easy, let me tell you, to write good jokes. You don't think I know fat lesbian Jew comics? There's so much more to it, though. You still got to be able to joke.

[Michael Knowles]

Would you say at least that is the minimum condition required?

[Ari Shafir]

No. You can be hot now too. Everything's different. Dane Cook changed everything. It's not for dorks anymore. There's like attractive people come into this.

[Michael Knowles]

I hate it.

[Ari Shafir]

I think this was a calling card. And now it's all different. These people, like have nice hair. They got look like you.

[Michael Knowles]

All right. It's so much harder that you know that Was not. That's not.

[Ari Shafir]

That's another old one. That's another old.

[Michael Knowles]

That's not my opinion.

[Ari Shafir]

10 years ago term.

[Michael Knowles]

Actually, the guy whose opinion that was, he wrote an essay in Vanity Fair. Yeah, he's been dead for like 10 years.

[Ari Shafir]

Michael Hutchins.

[Michael Knowles]

Christopher Hitchens.

[Ari Shafir]

Christopher Hitchens.

[Michael Knowles]

Christopher Hitchens. His view was that they have to be hefty dikers.

[Ari Shafir]

That was a long time ago. After that started. So let me just say what happened after that started. A bunch of women who hadn't even started yet got into standup. Not because of that, but it. So these 15 year comics that are now like running the world were. Post that who.

[Michael Knowles]

Because I could name. I could name some exceptions to the rule, but exceptions prove the rules.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Who are the female comedians who are funny, were actually funny. And they can even be TV comedians. They don't have to be just standing who don't fit one of those three categories.

[Ari Shafir]

Hefty. Adrienne's fat. Michelle Wolf.

[Michael Knowles]

Michelle Wolf. And you would say she's funny?

[Ari Shafir]

Oh, yeah, she's great.

[Michael Knowles]

Really?

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. She was like the best female comic in the world at some point.

[Michael Knowles]

She was definitely famous.

[Ari Shafir]

No, you see her Netflix stuff. Her stand up really is a female.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay, all right, I'll take you.

[Ari Shafir]

She goes after white chicks so hard.

[Michael Knowles]

Really?

[Ari Shafir]

She speaks for all of us because we. You know how they're like, well, you can't say that about black people or the military. You're not in there. She's the white chair going, you have to calm down. She's. She was all of us. Yeah, okay. She's a great example.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. There's. There's so many Alex Kuman. I. There's just like a ton in New York. It's. It's like, all right. When I used to work at the comrade store, people would call in, I'd work the phones. They'd be like, is Jim Carrey going to be there? I'm like, no. They're like, how about Eddie Murphy? I'm like, no. And then it was like, how about this? And it was like, hey, listen, anyone you've heard of is bad now.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

Is not a current standup comic. The real standups are like in. In it now.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, of course.

[Ari Shafir]

But I also know a lot of, like, lesbo comics that are really funny, but that's not the requirement.

[Michael Knowles]

But no Jewish.

[Ari Shafir]

That's a geezer take. That's a geezer take.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay, look, I'll have to.

[Ari Shafir]

I get it. You're just not around. Stand up.

[Michael Knowles]

I'LL have to.

[Ari Shafir]

I should have gone. Yes. Because I should have known that I would be the take.

[Michael Knowles]

I'll take the points. That's fine by me.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay. There is. There's a video to be played. It is absolutely wild times. It really, really. I was there for this. And really, I was the only Trump.

[Ari Shafir]

Really rare that you will play a homosexual comedian.

[Michael Knowles]

Literally a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

I think it's called Puerto Rico. Okay. All right.

[Ari Shafir]

Tony rules. Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay.

[Ari Shafir]

That's one of my best friends.

[Michael Knowles]

Technically speaking. Is Puerto Rico, in fact a floating pile of garbage?

[Ari Shafir]

No. You're not kidding me.

[Michael Knowles]

I have to guess. How you would guess is technically. Technically. So.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

So we're talking geology here.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Dude, I'm already Jewish. You don't have to say that. Yeah, okay.

[Michael Knowles]

All right. So the answer you would say is yes.

[Ari Shafir]

No, it doesn't float.

[Michael Knowles]

Oh.

[Ari Shafir]

What? That's crazy. Do you think, oh, my God, that's so sad, buddy. Do you think islands float? Oh, I'm really sorry. No, it goes all the way down.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, it's just garbage to the seabed. That was the only Trump riot.

[Ari Shafir]

How was it?

[Michael Knowles]

Well, so the way they played it, you'd think he was doing a buddy routine with Trump on stage. That was like six hours before Trump got there.

[Ari Shafir]

Sweet. So he goes, he gets there and he does this whole 30 minute thing about it. And he gets there and he goes, hey, I'm here. I have these notes I wrote on this tiny piece of paper because I can't let the lady next to me see what I'm writing on the plane. And he goes, do you have the teleprompter? And they go, no, it's too late for that. He goes, oh, all right, well, I gotta memorize these jokes real quick. And he goes, when am I going? They're like, you're going first. And he goes, oh, that's no way. I'm a dirty comedian.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

He goes, I don't go first at night.

[Michael Knowles]

It's like noon.

[Ari Shafir]

It's noon. When he's going, what a terrible order. He said he saw afterwards everyone coming in with like, all. All the. Like the. The tweets were coming in. Like, how dare this guy? And he go. And then he looks up and there's a magician on stage. He goes, why is that guy not.

[Michael Knowles]

Before me doing, like, painting?

[Ari Shafir]

Wrong order. Yeah. So how did it go? It.

[Michael Knowles]

So I had just gotten here. You got to figure out he's playing at this point. It's Madison Square Garden. 80% is empty because people aren't getting there for four more hours. So I'm there at this point. I mean, there are still a lot of people. There's still probably, I don't know, 2000, 3000.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. But in a 25,000 seater. By the way, the last time he was there, he performed for his sold.

[Michael Knowles]

Out match with Greg Garden for his show. Yeah, yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

So it's like different vibe.

[Michael Knowles]

He's going into this jarring thing. But I thought it was so great. It reminded.

[Ari Shafir]

Did you watch any of it or were you kind of glancing at it from like.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, I mean, I was there. I was like getting my whatever hot dog and a drink, but I was listening to it. I was like, oh, this is different. And it reminded me. I remember Jon Stewart reacted to Clint Eastwood doing the empty chair bit at the rnc and everyone was piling on Eastwood and Jon Stewart said, oh, man, I loved it. It was so refreshing. It was so different than anything you hear at these. I thought it was great. I thought it was so funny.

[Ari Shafir]

I made friends there. They'd go like, no, he did well.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

And then just not really miked for.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, yeah. No, in terms of the, like, just the people sitting around me in a largely empty stadium, they loved it.

[Ari Shafir]

I mean, that was a straight send up job. That's just like. That's political. People suck.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

They just were just like, let's just offer this guy up. Who cares if it's true or not? Let's just miss misrepresent what happened.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

For our own personal gay. It's all Game of Thrones right and left. You guys are all doing Game of.

[Michael Knowles]

Thrones also though, that joke.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Do you know any Puerto Ricans who were offended by that joke?

[Ari Shafir]

No. Well, I make a point to not.

[Michael Knowles]

Be around, not know any Puerto Rican spirit.

[Ari Shafir]

No, I do. I do know. I do know what his father was stabbed. But. But that's. Forget that stereotype. But Luis Gomez, but no, no, none. And also there's almost no undecided voters at that time. And they try to broaden it from Puerto Ricans to all Latinos.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

And other Latinos are like, you know, a lot of us hate each other.

[Michael Knowles]

Most of us, actually.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. You guys are acting like one unit that's all gonna be offended by humor. It was so dumb and so like, it really made me hate all politicians that they'll do this to my industry. Take it out of context and intention, like offer someone's whole life up.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. Of course. Because you got to figure at that point, it was two weeks before the election, so the Dems were like, well, whatever. We're going to treat that guy like he's Trump's vice president. You know, he's the running mate.

[Ari Shafir]

Exactly. Yeah. It's funny. I talked some. Some comedians got upset about it.

[Michael Knowles]

Really.

[Ari Shafir]

And I tried to reach out to them, like, compassionately, like, you know, not like publicly, just like.

[Michael Knowles]

Like, they got upset by the joke or the fact that he did a gig for Trump.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. That's what it came down to.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

They're like, it's racist. I'm like, it's not. It means this and this. And also, he's like, Tony's, like, obsessed with the refuse problem in Puerto Rico. They actually have abandoned the nation state. I don't know what you call it even. I also live in a very liberal area, Manhattan, and when Trump said that Puerto Rico's not part of America and everyone's like, all the liberals, like, that's. Is that wrong? That's crazy.

[Michael Knowles]

How dare you.

[Ari Shafir]

Like, they were just out right then. That's.

[Michael Knowles]

It's a protectorate. Is it a principality? I don't.

[Ari Shafir]

But. So that. But they see him as Hitler. As Adolf Hitler.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

And it doesn't matter what the joke meant to them. You're trying to get Hitler back in. In charge of the United States of America.

[Michael Knowles]

Right.

[Ari Shafir]

So to them, it's like, joke, work, joke, not work. What does that have to do with it? So you can't get through. Same thing. They're speaking different languages.

[Michael Knowles]

He could have gone up and said, why the chicken crossed the road? You would have had half the country furious at him for it.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, exactly. Why are you even there?

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

You can't even hold a door open for that.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

I mean, and imagine if they really believe that. It's like the guy who shot up the. Brought a shotgun to the pizza gate place.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

Right. He really thought he was trying to free kids.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

Right. Like, you're doing the right thing morally.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

You were just misinformed.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. The premise might have been a little askew. Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

And when they told everybody this guy's a racist trying to get Hitler elected, they're kind of doing the right thing. If I had to be compassionate.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

They're like, oh, yeah, that's bad. Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

They're like the guy who shot up the Pizzagate place.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, that's.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a compliment, I think.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. I don't know. People who shoot up abortion clinics do they really think it's murder? So it's like, I get it. Yeah. But don't.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, you may.

[Ari Shafir]

I want to.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. Here we go. Got you some olives to snack on. Oh, snacking olives. Are those blue cheese? Yeah. Okay. Thank you, sir. This is good stuff. Wow.

[Ari Shafir]

So I had that. I traveled all over. I was in Ecuador for like, six months during the pandemic. My industry was done.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. Why not?

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Gathering was over, and Padron's is huge in South America.

[Michael Knowles]

Are they really?

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Named after the Godfather.

[Michael Knowles]

A lot of Italians, you know, made it that way after a certain global conflict. Down to Argentina and those areas.

[Ari Shafir]

Oh, wow.

[Michael Knowles]

Maybe that might be it. Okay, you're up.

[Ari Shafir]

I'm feeling attention now. Now I'm going to play the game. This network is great. Was this a tad transphobic plan?

[Michael Knowles]

If it is false, for the good of society and especially for the good of the poor people who have fallen prey to this confusion, transgenderism must be eradicated from public life entire entirely. The whole preposterous ideology. Handsome guy at every level.

[Ari Shafir]

Transphobism should be a trans. Trans.

[Michael Knowles]

Transgender.

[Ari Shafir]

Transgender should be eradicated. Transgenderism. Was this word tad? Was it a tad tad? Was this a tad transphobic?

[Michael Knowles]

Okay, I'm gonna. And I'll put my answer a tad.

[Ari Shafir]

A tad. I know it's yos you want to be like, not at all, but was it a. A tad transphobic?

[Michael Knowles]

Okay, I've got my answer now.

[Ari Shafir]

It's gotta be yes. It's gotta be a minimum. A tad.

[Michael Knowles]

Not even a smidgen.

[Ari Shafir]

What are you even gonna tad?

[Michael Knowles]

Because to be phobic. To be phobic, it has to be an irrational fear. But that was a very rational statement. Wait, phobic is irrational, and irrational like arachnophobia is the irrational fear of spiders.

[Ari Shafir]

So you say it's just a fear of spiders.

[Michael Knowles]

I believe it has to be irrational. Like, I can't be lion eat my face phobic because a lion might eat my face. You know, I think it's got to be an irrational. It could be phobic love spiders.

[Ari Shafir]

Or that be. So what would like dangerous spiders.

[Michael Knowles]

That would be. Yeah, I'd be reasonable, I guess common sense.

[Ari Shafir]

Okay, so I think got me in the phobia because.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, right. It's got to be reasonable. But it's definitely not. It's not pro phobic.

[Ari Shafir]

It's not a fear of gays. It's a rational fear of gays.

[Michael Knowles]

Now I have a very rational fear of gays. Like that they might, you know, make my style better or, you know. Yeah. Like, decorate my neighborhood. Thank you. Well, you saw the video earlier, so. Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

I should have known how you were gonna. Yes. There's no way you would. There was no way you would have said.

[Michael Knowles]

That was wrong. Okay, you're up.

[Ari Shafir]

Phobic is irrational. Is that true? Can we look that up?

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

We're the judges here on this.

[Michael Knowles]

This is a rapid fire round. I will read three questions, one after the other. You will have 30 seconds to answer all three. The clock starts now. Are some religions better than others? Yes. Do ghosts or other supernatural entities reveal themselves at cemeteries? Yes. Sometimes. No. All right, whatever. For RFK Jr. To make America healthy again, he needs fat shaming to come back.

[Ari Shafir]

To make America. Does he need that in order to make America healthy again?

[Michael Knowles]

You know, obviously. Yes. Obviously he does. Obviously.

[Ari Shafir]

He could do it another way, too. It would help. It would help.

[Michael Knowles]

He could. Yeah. Wow. All right.

[Ari Shafir]

This Godfather, he can do it other ways. Rapid fire boy, Buddy, please don't put me in trouble. Is Louis CK overrated?

[Michael Knowles]

No, he's not.

[Ari Shafir]

No, he's not.

[Michael Knowles]

He's not overrated. Wow.

[Ari Shafir]

Do you think Diddy killed Tupac? No.

[Michael Knowles]

It's more than likely.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah, probably. Yeah. I thought it had him killed. I don't think he did it himself.

[Michael Knowles]

Yes.

[Ari Shafir]

Republicans should forgive Bud Light.

[Michael Knowles]

No. Transisor. Bush needs to be made an example.

[Ari Shafir]

I should just. I should know. I'm answering my own answer.

[Michael Knowles]

All right, Wait. So hold it.

[Ari Shafir]

I need a napkin.

[Michael Knowles]

1. Look at this disaster.

[Ari Shafir]

Well. Cause how are you supposed to move fast with a martini glass? It's the least functional glass in the world. Yeah. You got a good one.

[Michael Knowles]

That was so great for the back half of the game.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. Final question. Both answer. We're not in a rush. Right. Okay. Do you think President Trump will make it to the end of his term? I mean, this. This asks a lot of questions. One, about the state of healthcare for elderly people. The United States. Also, what happened to American marksmanship? Spin on the downturn. So that's another extenuating circumstance.

[Michael Knowles]

And Iranian marksmanship.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. And, like, access to golf courses seem pretty easy.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

Maybe they should have more security on those. So you think or will he just like. Actually, this sucks. You guys suck. I'm out. Also possible at the inauguration. I could have easily said him gone. Nope. Not doing it.

[Michael Knowles]

I'm done.

[Ari Shafir]

I just want to see if I can win. Give me that pension.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

So will do. I think. You think. And do you think I think that President Trump will make it to the end of his term. What does the Daily Wire think?

[Michael Knowles]

Specifically me. Yeah. There might be different opinions of the Daily Wire.

[Ari Shafir]

You're Italian.

[Michael Knowles]

I'm Italian.

[Ari Shafir]

Can I ask a second true or false question?

[Michael Knowles]

You may.

[Ari Shafir]

For not points.

[Michael Knowles]

No.

[Ari Shafir]

You ready to tell the American public that your original name was Cannolis?

[Michael Knowles]

It was anglicized at Ellis Island. It was initially Michael Chocolate Sprinkle Cannolis.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. And you just changed the spelling.

[Michael Knowles]

I did, I did. I did.

[Ari Shafir]

But it is Cannoli.

[Michael Knowles]

If you look in the old parish register in Sicily, it's Chocolate Sprinkle Cannolis.

[Ari Shafir]

Okay. Okay. Apostrophe. N, O, W, L, E, S. Ole. Okay. So will Donald Trump make it to the end of his term? What do we think that you'll say and what do I think that you'll say?

[Michael Knowles]

You got your answer. All right.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Wait. This is for game. This is for the game.

[Ari Shafir]

This is for game. Do I think you think Donald Trump will make it to the end of his term? I mean, they're coming after him hard. Got up your game. Left. You think that he's dead now. Right. But do you think that guy is like, in heaven or whatever in hell?

[Michael Knowles]

Which one? Jimmy Carter?

[Ari Shafir]

The first one got. Got his ear.

[Michael Knowles]

Biden.

[Ari Shafir]

Oh.

[Michael Knowles]

Oh, that guy. Yeah, that guy.

[Ari Shafir]

He's like, oh, wait, I made him. I made. I got him votes.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. And that might be the dead.

[Ari Shafir]

And I got him.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. That's the most meritorious thing that guy ever did. Did.

[Ari Shafir]

Okay.

[Michael Knowles]

I think you're going to say, yes, we're both right. Okay, wait, so we tie.

[Ari Shafir]

It's a tie.

[Michael Knowles]

It's a tie at zero.

[Ari Shafir]

It's a tie at zero. Which is really what politics is all about when you don't get anywhere ahead by engulfing yourself in this negative.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

You're all tied. Zero. Both right and left. Go outside, talk to your friends, call your mom. Do something of merit. Certain roses smell. Well. Other smells that smell terrible.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. What? Roses smell terrible?

[Ari Shafir]

Well, none of smell terrible.

[Michael Knowles]

This is such a good metaphor for politics.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

We've been for like an hour. Yeah, we did.

[Ari Shafir]

Nothing has been accomplished.

[Michael Knowles]

Nothing was accomplished. Nothing happened.

[Ari Shafir]

I know somebody that was setting up a provisional government in Afghanistan. In the Army.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

So a year. He was there stationed there for one year.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Ari Shafir]

And they had to negotiate on. What's the percentage of Shiites? Percentage of Sunnis. Sunnis. Or percentage of. There's another group.

[Michael Knowles]

What are like the.

[Ari Shafir]

Yeah. I don't know, whatever. The ones who live, like.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. I think it was the Orthodox.

[Ari Shafir]

Orthodox Jewish mos. And they had to like, no, no, we should have a higher percentage. We should have a higher percentage. No, that should be lower. And they finally, finally, after almost 11 and a half months, agreed, okay, These are the percentages. Like, fine, okay. Have a weekend on Monday. We're all gonna meet. It'll be our first comedian. And they go, I'm not sitting in the room with a Shiite. And you're like, oh. And then his tour was over and nothing was accomplished. And we're getting there, you know?

[Michael Knowles]

Whether it's the joys of stereotyping or the beauty of drug addiction, Ari Shafir focuses on the positive in this darkly uplifting special. Check out this teaser for America's sweetheart.

[Ari Shafir]

People are going to get killed. So who better than a child? They don't contribute to the gdp, like, at all. Guys, I'm joking. I hope you understand that. Remember when you couldn't kill Asian people for three months four years ago? Nothing happens. So much fun. I've been shoplifting, like, a lot black people. You got to be white someday. It rules so hard. Oh, it's the best black people, Honestly. I hope you get white privilege someday soon, but until that happens, man, you make excellent decoys. If I'm at CVS and three brothers walk in, I'm like, it's go time. I just turned invisible. Nice. Nice. Thanks, Ari. Good promo. Nobody plays this stuff.

[Michael Knowles]

Having not won or lost this game. Yeah, I. I was feeling totally neutral, but now I feel actually a lot better about that. I can't wait for that.

[Ari Shafir]

For that special. Yeah. Watch it. It's fun. It's about, like, ignoring politics.

[Michael Knowles]

Good, good.

[Ari Shafir]

Finding better things to focus on.

[Michael Knowles]

Blessed you to. To be avoiding. I'm trying to fight back all the nonsense. That's great, Ari. Thank you, sir.

[Ari Shafir]

Thanks, Michael. It was a pleasure. It was cool. Yeah. All right.

[Michael Knowles]

It's a great.

[Ari Shafir]

And, guys, everyone in the audience, you're going home with a yes or no card game.

[Michael Knowles]

You're going home with a yes or no card. You get one card from the game.