Michael & The Diddy Escort: “Diddy Watched the Whole Time” | Shawn Dearing

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Michael & The Diddy Escort: 'Diddy Watched the Whole Time' | Shawn Dearing"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Michael Knowles Show
• Host/Author: The Daily Wire
• Episode: Michael & The Diddy Escort: “Diddy Watched the Whole Time” | Shawn Dearing
• Release Date: July 19, 2025
• Description: The Michael Knowles Show dissects the chaos of politics and culture, providing incisive analysis on the day's top stories from Monday through Friday.

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1. Introduction: Sean Dearing’s Background

Sean Dearing introduces himself as someone who grew up in Hawaii and later moved to Los Angeles. Initially uncertain about his career path, Sean tried college for three and a half years before entering the workforce. His first jobs included serving in restaurants and later working in the valet and bar industries in Las Vegas.

Notable Quote:

• Sean Dearing [02:26]: "I live in LA prior to that. You know, I'm born and raised in Hawaii and I was figuring out where I'm headed with life."

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2. Entry into Escorting

Sean recounts how he transitioned from the bar industry to modeling at the encouragement of his girlfriend, leading him to create a profile on Model Mayhem. This eventually caught the attention of Garen James, the owner of the escort agency "Cowboys for Angels." Initially skeptical, Sean was convinced to meet James, which marked his entry into the escorting world.

Notable Quotes:

• Sean Dearing [03:19]: "It's sort of the, I think it's like the old school MySpace style of the model industry."
• Sean Dearing [04:34]: "The proper term would be the escort server. Well, not the terminology slipping me, but it's a prostitution."

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3. The Escorting Experience and Working with P. Diddy

Sean describes his role as an escort, detailing how he was hired to spend time with wealthy women, including Cassie, P. Diddy's girlfriend. He explains the structured and performative nature of these encounters, emphasizing the control exerted by P. Diddy and the orchestrated environment designed to fulfill his depraved sexual desires.

Notable Quotes:

• Michael Knowles [01:35]: "P. Diddy has gotten off the hook for the worst charges that he faced pertaining to his freak offs and weird sex parties over decades."
• Sean Dearing [23:57]: "I show up to the address. I go up to the door, knock, and she opens the door."

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4. Moral Realization and Exit from the Industry

As Sean continued his work, he began to witness the manipulative and abusive tactics used by other members of the escort agency. This included attempts to impregnate women deceitfully and the psychological abuse inflicted by clients. Realizing the moral degradation of his actions and the exploitation involved, Sean decided to distance himself from the industry. His turning point was witnessing the abusive behavior of individuals like the Dean of Medicine, which highlighted the depth of corruption and immorality within the escorting business.

Notable Quotes:

• Sean Dearing [15:04]: "One thing I realized, I love people."
• Sean Dearing [54:08]: "I realized how, how detrimental it really was for."

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5. Legal and Media Exposure

Sean's involvement in the escorting world became public knowledge during the legal battles of P. Diddy, where Sean’s name and picture were revealed in court. The situation escalated when rapper 50 Cent posted Sean’s image with insinuations of P. Diddy’s misconduct, thrusting Sean into the mainstream media spotlight. Despite his reluctance, Sean gave interviews to clear his name and share his side of the story.

Notable Quotes:

• Sean Dearing [28:32]: "Revealed in court. And then it started to go mainstream when 50 posted that picture."
• Michael Knowles [48:04]: "But you saw some of it up close."

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6. Final Reflections and Closure

In the latter part of the conversation, Sean reflects on his journey, expressing remorse for his participation in the exploitative system and his desire to move forward spiritually. He emphasizes his commitment to serving God and his struggle to reconcile his past actions with his current Christian beliefs. Sean also shares his hopes for the individuals he was involved with, wishing for their redemption and justice.

Notable Quotes:

• Sean Dearing [74:36]: "I love people. I could never do something so degrading to another individual."
• Sean Dearing [95:54]: "The only two words for Diddy is find Jesus."
• Michael Knowles [89:29]: "You can cooperate with God's grace."

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Key Insights and Conclusions

• Moral Degradation: Sean’s story underscores the moral and spiritual degradation inherent in the escorting industry, particularly when intertwined with powerful and abusive figures like P. Diddy.

• Control and Exploitation: The narrative highlights how control and power dynamics are exploited in such environments, leading to the manipulation and abuse of vulnerable individuals.

• Personal Redemption: Sean’s journey from participation to realization and his quest for redemption illustrate the potential for personal transformation and the importance of spiritual guidance in overcoming past mistakes.

• Media’s Role: The role of media in exposing and exacerbating personal scandals is evident, raising questions about privacy, public perception, and the consequences of public exposure.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Sean Dearing [00:00]: "So I don't know who I'm seeing. And so I show up to the address, I go up to the door, knock, and she opens the door."
• Michael Knowles [09:17]: "So this is still in operation?"
• Sean Dearing [18:51]: "Cause the arms of whatever system Diddy has are much bigger than any we can perceive that we know of."
• Michael Knowles [27:53]: "Had you just sat down, we're meeting for the first time, and you told me this story. It's not that I would have immediately called you a liar, but I would have been very skeptical about your claims."
• Sean Dearing [43:47]: "So there's a moment where doing. You know, we're naked and on a couch and Diddy kind of gets up and walks and she just kind of pauses and. Huh."
• Michael Knowles [54:16]: "If you're going to engage in an exploitative act, or if you're going to be subjected to an exploitative act, better it be with me than with some bad guy."
• Sean Dearing [86:34]: "I will always love and serve God."

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Final Thoughts

This episode provides a harrowing glimpse into the dark underbelly of the escorting industry, especially when intersected with fame and power. Sean Dearing's candid revelations about his involvement with P. Diddy and the moral conflicts he faced offer listeners a profound narrative on sin, redemption, and the struggle between personal desires and spiritual values.

Transcript

[Sean Dearing]

So I don't know who I'm seeing. And so I show up to the address, I go up to the door, knock, and she opens the door.

[Michael Knowles]

So you say it's very performative.

[Sean Dearing]

She's like, okay, sit there. She puts the towel down, like, hey, just pour the baby oil all over me. I see like the little slip in the room. There were times in the sessions where I saw that demon, the demon that.

[Michael Knowles]

She talked about, personal demon, you know, these are the demons that are afflicting me. Or did he?

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, did he?

[Michael Knowles]

You actually did this stuff. Your name and your picture were revealed in court.

[Sean Dearing]

Revealed in court. And then it started to go mainstream when 50 posted that picture.

[Michael Knowles]

So this guy is a sex crazed animal.

[Sean Dearing]

She was under his control.

[Michael Knowles]

Cause there's video of him beating her in a hallway.

[Sean Dearing]

I was supposed to be there that night. I was supposed to.

[Michael Knowles]

P. Diddy has gotten off the hook for the worst charges that he faced pertaining to his freak offs and weird sex parties over decades. But nobody denies that those parties happened. That he engaged in depraved, crazy sexual activities. That he had his girlfriends sleep with multiple men who were hired for the occasion. And I am right now joined by one of those men. That would be Sean Dearing. Sean, thank you for being here.

[Sean Dearing]

Pleasure to meet you.

[Michael Knowles]

Michael, pleasure to meet you. Thank you for flying in for this. P. Diddy beat the tough charges even though all the things he's accused of.

[Sean Dearing]

Doing.

[Michael Knowles]

Maybe not the crimes, but the activities, the parties, the sex, the everything, no one denies that he actually did those things. He did them for decades. And you're one of the guys he hired to sleep with his girlfriend?

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

How'd you get into that?

[Sean Dearing]

I lived in LA prior to that. You know, I'm born and raised in Hawaii and I was figuring out where I'm. Where am I headed with life? Tried college, three and a half years. Didn't exactly find my way. And after that, decided to join the workforce. And one thing I realized, I love serving. So I started out serving restaurants and such and it was kind of like a rolling ball effect. I just tried to make the most of it. So from there I was working in Southern California for a bit and a friend of mine helped open up a valet venture in Vegas.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay.

[Sean Dearing]

So from there I got into the bar industry and then the bar industry. I was introduced to a wonderful girlfriend that thought I should model. One day I thought she was joking when she asked me, because I look in the mirror and I don't know, I see a funny looking guy. Ah, you good looking guy. Look at. I think, you know, I thought she was joking with me, so she challenged me to model. She said she knew photographers and stuff. And I said, babe, if you think I can model, I'm going to give it my all. Like Sir William Hung is a lifet lifelong idol of mine. You know, the sh. Bang, she bangs. You know, I remember watching that. That guy lit me up. And one thing he said is everything I do, I give it my best. And so I'm kind of that way, you know, that kind of stuck with me and I just tried to give everything I had in modeling. And then that led to a profile on Model Mayhem. You remember Model Mayhem?

[Michael Knowles]

I've heard the name of it.

[Sean Dearing]

It's sort of the, I think it's like the old school MySpace style of the model industry. Go in, put your profile on there.

[Michael Knowles]

Was explore talent, Model Mayhem. I remember there were these go make it big in show business kind of websites. Yeah.

[Sean Dearing]

Kind of the beginning of the pipeline, I guess you would say. And so my girlfriend had me put my profile on there. And so I do. And I, it was a, you know, I'm going to go, I'm going to give it my best. And I tried, I put it on there and then a few months later get a message from Mr. Garen James, who is the guy who owns the company Cowboys for Angels. I thought it was a joke. I thought it was spam. I thought somebody wanted me to send them more pictures and be like, hey, I'm interested in you. So I showed my girlfriend and I was like, hey, look, this guy's messaging me and her. And I had come across some of his episodes of that Showtime show Gigolo in the past.

[Michael Knowles]

Hold on. So I'm not totally familiar with Cowboys for Angels or the Gigolo show. This agency is a. It sounds like it's a gigolo agency.

[Sean Dearing]

Yes, well, the proper term would be the escort server. Well, not the terminology slipping me, but it's a.

[Michael Knowles]

It's prostitution.

[Sean Dearing]

In nicer words. Yeah, using some softer verbiage, but yes, in a sense. But the. You know, on that same note, I did go on dates where sex wasn't involved. It was a compensation for our time. So that's the idea behind it, is that the women are compensating us for our time. Whatever happens between adults is between two consenting adults.

[Michael Knowles]

So people hear that and they say, well, that sounds like legal CYA kind of stuff. But you're saying, no, you join this agency and sometimes a woman would just hire you to Go to dinner or something?

[Sean Dearing]

Uh, yeah. There was one woman I went on four dates with and we never had sexual encounters. There was times at the end of the dates it would start to wrap up and she would inquire on having more hours and she's like, I'm gonna get in trouble. You gotta go. And I'm like, the choice is yours. All right, have a wonderful night. And so it was just. Yeah, you know, you let the lady take the lead in the.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay, hold on now, hold on. So your girlfriend says you should be a model. You start being a model. Then this guy says, hey, do you want to be a escort?

[Sean Dearing]

Well, he messaged me on this site and I thought it was a joke.

[Michael Knowles]

So you show your girlfriend. What does your girlfriend say?

[Sean Dearing]

And we were together at the time. And I was like, well, I'm not going to indulge in this. I was showing her. I was like, look at this spam. Like, can you believe this guy? It's not him. He's messaging me on this site. And then about a year later, we end up breaking up. And she was a very wonderful one wise and just had a good head on her. And as we were breaking up, it was a cordial breakup. She was like, remember that guy? You know, you need money, you need a, you know, you need to. You need a new path. You should probably message that guy. And I'm one. I didn't. I didn't think I'd ever want to be an escort. I didn't think I would jump into this. I am a man of God. I love and serve God. But I've also sinned.

[Michael Knowles]

Now, at the time before you accept the offer from the escort agency, would you have called yourself a Christian and said you believed in God? You would have.

[Sean Dearing]

Oh, yeah. Even if the man asked me, I would have told him, I love and serve God.

[Michael Knowles]

We're not even at the diddy part and I'm already. This is pretty wild. You're dating this girl, she's the one who gets you into modeling. Then you say, hey, this gigolo guy just wants to work with me and you don't do anything with it. Then as you're breaking up, this girl sounds like a horrible influence, says, be a model, and then, hey, by the way, you should go be a gigolo. Now that we're broken up.

[Sean Dearing]

It was one that you could look at it how you choose, but she saw something in me and challenged me, and I'm one. If there's a challenge or if someone thinks I can do something, I Didn't see how possibly personally degrading it could be, you know, on the outskirts.

[Michael Knowles]

What were you, okay, then what? At the time, you're viewing this in this very positive way, say it's a challenge, I could do it. It's kind of like modeling. So if you didn't, and I've heard this from multiple people, you didn't think it was going to be so degrading when you're getting into it, what did you think it was going to be?

[Sean Dearing]

I wanted to. The fact that I could spend time with someone. I'm a very much a people person. I love people. And then with my first girlfriend that I had out of high school, I was in a four year relationship with her. Another amazing, beautiful girl woman. But I realized I didn't listen to. And so I realized like I'm spending time with these women and I love listening. I do like hearing them, you know. And as a young man, sex is fun, even though I understand it is sinning.

[Michael Knowles]

So was that part of it though when you were signing up? Cause look, I could get it. How old were you at this point?

[Sean Dearing]

Was that part of it? I wasn't about 24.

[Michael Knowles]

So you're 24. So part of that is you're a 24 year old guy, you say, hold on, wait a second, I'm gonna get paid to sleep with women, what's the catch?

[Sean Dearing]

Exactly.

[Michael Knowles]

So you're thinking that a little bit too.

[Sean Dearing]

Not necessarily as an incentive, but just like it was the. When I got the message from Garen, I just was shocked, right? I was shocked. I was like, oh snap. He messaged me back and he's like, I'm gonna be in Vegas in two days, can we sit down, have a conversation? And so I was back in LA at the time. So I'd boogied over to Vegas and my. I don't think I stayed with my ex girlfriend. I forget where I stayed. But I stayed over, had a quick meeting with him and I was shocked. And so I was wondering, I just let the ball roll. I was like. He messaged me back, I went with it. And then a few, about a week later, he put me on his team. How many people were on the team at that time? Probably about 12 to 15. But I think there's a lot more now because I saw.

[Michael Knowles]

So this is still in operation?

[Sean Dearing]

Yes. Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

So okay, so. And it's grown. So then at the time you go out, you're interested in this opportunity and you've got three potential motivations. One is helping the women you Want to talk and listen to the women. One is sex and one is money. If you had to rank them, how would you rank those three motivations?

[Sean Dearing]

The first one, I like people.

[Michael Knowles]

It was mostly the people you want to help, people you want to talk to, people you want to listen to, the women. Okay, so you sign up for the company, then what?

[Sean Dearing]

About a week later he calls me, he's like, all right, got our first date. I told her, your little experience, so go in, own it, be here this date, this time. And so it was just show up. And that's in that setting there in la, many people have the fake it till you make it mentality. And so I could see that, you know, I was like, I had to instill confidence though, is what it was. You know, I realized the fake it till you make it thing, it sits. But if you're faking it, you're lying to yourself right off the bat. And so just have the confidence to attain, in a sense. And so that's how I led with. I went in and my first date, I got extended hours, which the guy likes. You know, it's more money all around. And so from there, the dates.

[Michael Knowles]

Just not to pry too much. When you say extended hours, is that a euphemism or is that, is that just a code word for sex or is that. Does it just mean you go out and you actually have more drinks or whatever?

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. So they hire for a time frame and if you go beyond that, then it's extra money and such. And so. And that's what the guy says, you're there for this, X hours. But if it continues, just message me in the morning and we'll take care of all the money and such or things of that nature. So, yeah, that first date got extended and I think that was kind of the. I guess he saw something and the ball kept rolling from there. I wasn't, I wasn't a, you know, 10 dates a month guy. It was, you know, max three to four. And then sometimes I go two to three months.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay, not to pry too much, and you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but that first date, this is your introduction to this industry?

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Is it? Are you just chatting over warm milk and cookies or is it.

[Sean Dearing]

No, it started out at a bar there along the Malibu coast. You know, she's sitting at a bar and walk up, introduce myself and we start chatting and get a drink and dance. And then that's when she. My first client was like a well off lawyer and she kind of broke it down to me why she had acquired me that night, why she made it very clear she's a very busy woman. She doesn't want to go to a bar and get hestled and hackled. She knows what she wants. She wants to go out, have a good time, and then she wants to be able to have her own household when she wants. And so it was. I could see, like she wanted to. To be appreciated, but not heckled or hassled. And she liked that. Her level of success gave her the ability to do that, to be able to control that situation. So I. I had to play respectfully accordingly, you know, and that. That's. I think that's one of the keys of my roots as a Hawaii boy. You lead with respect, you show respect to get respect. And that was one of the keys, I think, that helped me in this industry is I respect people.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay. Now again, you can just tell me. I don't wanna answer that. Did you sleep with her or not?

[Sean Dearing]

Yes, you did.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay. Okay. That was a different time in your life, and obviously you've gotten out of it. But that's the reason I'm asking that is now all of a sudden, after this first date, after this first job, you now know. Okay, hold on. I'm not. This ain't just modeling anymore. I'm now in the sex industry. Did that. How did that work? Did that warp your perception of yourself or.

[Sean Dearing]

No, I mean, I didn't. You know, I didn't. Yeah, I. I didn't see it that way. I mean, obviously it is. It's clear as day. I can deny it all, but it. It is that I. I could see how to like, my. That voice inside. If I'm not doing it, someone else will. And I. I truly do appreciate this woman and I don't want her to be treated or felt like she's only being used for her money in a sense. So that was kind of in my soul, was like, I. That was one of those things why helped me to. To be able to do it, you know, and not feel.

[Michael Knowles]

So you say in your mind, you're saying, I'm not just doing this for the money.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, I got that. That it's one. It was a challenge. Like, I never thought. I never thought that would happen. I never thought that. I never wanted that door to open. But opportunity came and I jumped on it or I owned it. So.

[Michael Knowles]

But now who is. Forgive my ignorance of this. In my mind, a male gigolo. It was kind of like Playgirl. Guys buy Playboy and guys buy Playgirl. Right. In my mind, it was either straight guys hiring women or. Or gay guys hiring men. I did not think that women would actually hire a male prostitute or a gigolo or an escort or whatever the term is. It was women, though.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. About 90% of the clients were women, and then a few others were the males. Husbands hired me for their partner, their wife. It wasn't very prevalent, but it happened, yeah, quite a few times. And it's one of those that, yeah, it learned a lot. I learned a lot.

[Michael Knowles]

How old are these women?

[Sean Dearing]

The oldest was about 45, and the other one, about one was in their late 20s. Some. Some of them were beautiful couples that were. It's like they. They wanted to be able to be honest with each other and they thought they had to bring an outside source in in order to break the threshold of their comfort with each other. So they would say things like they wanted to do like a sex act or something they thought was freaky, and they were too scared to say it to their loved one because they didn't want them to be like, oh, I don't want to do that. That's gross. But then, you know, I'd be brought into the setting and it just would open up the sexual conversations. And so they were, in a sense, it was exciting to them, but it was the. It's sad to say, it was the. The beginning of the unraveling.

[Michael Knowles]

So it's funny because I can, as you're explaining this, I can kind of get that in principle, that it's almost easier if there's a third person. But it is kind of funny in a way to say I'm too embarrassed to ask for some sort of sexual behavior with my wife or girlfriend. So instead I'm going to propose bringing a male escort that's somehow less odd or.

[Sean Dearing]

And I could see too sometimes on a many times it was the man because they wanted to indulge in their sexual fantasies. They wanted, like, he wanted his wife to have fun with another woman. And so this was somewhat of the, I guess, balancing factor. It was a way to not make it seem as bad, I guess, for them and to see. See, I want my sex fun and I'm allowing you to have your sex fun.

[Michael Knowles]

That seems truly like, I. I see as you're describing that that's like the middle ground. To me, that seems like, like, worst case scenario, if you're a guy, you say, well, I have this deviant fantasy about two women, so I'll meet in the middle and I'LL bring in another guy. They called it the devil's threesome. I think in college I remember people saying that. So anyway, okay, so it's women. All of this is subverting my expectations. It's women. It's not just women. It's relatively young women are. They put aside the cuckold couples for a second. The women, you say one of them is, okay, she's rich, so that's why she's rich. She's busy. She knows what she wants. She doesn't want to go deal with guys. Are the women ugly physically? I'm trying to figure out what would motivate a single woman to go hire a gigolo rather than just go to a bar. Any woman can pick up any guy, basically wait long enough at a bar.

[Sean Dearing]

And that was part of it. She didn't want that hassle. You know, they didn't like the. And it was the control of the situation.

[Michael Knowles]

Control. I could see that money.

[Sean Dearing]

The money gave them that power.

[Michael Knowles]

Right.

[Sean Dearing]

And I'm a very. I'm a people pleaser in a sense. Like I said, I like to listen. And I've learned that. I've learned that there's much value in listening. And because there was, you know, some of the clients, I was a regular for a few of the ladies, and then one of the other guys was also a regular for some of the ladies. And so I saw the games some of the other guys were playing with the women in attempts to. I don't want to go too deep, but attempts to lock these rich women down, either through marriage or pregnancy of some sorts. And so I saw this game being played by, you know, a few different women of clients who I had. And that was the day I. I called the owner. I was like, I. I can't stand by this. I can't stand by what is going on.

[Michael Knowles]

So hold on. You're saying the men, the gigolos who are regulars, they say, okay, well, I got this woman who's rich, who's paying me for my services, but rather than just get a paycheck for every date, what if I impregnate this woman in a deceitful way? Meaning?

[Sean Dearing]

Oh, very. Yeah, it was the same game plan from a few different women. And they would tell me, like, one of these. One of the women who I saw quite often would tell me the game plan of what this one of the guys was doing behind the scenes. And then a few weeks later or a few months later, see another client. And these, these women are wealthy women who are their Parents did very well, and so they had large sums of money. And many. They, too, themselves had businesses which they developed. But this. Yeah, there was a man doing. And that, like, that's why some of these women, you know, they would. One thing we were never supposed to do is exchange numbers, because all business was supposed to be done through the agency. Yeah. To ensure there's no backroom deals and such. So. But I did exchange numbers with these women who had some, you know, they had some hard times in their life, and they just need someone to talk to when they were, you know, at points in their life where they're on their deathbed, in a sense. And so.

[Michael Knowles]

So these women who were really desperate or depressed or something.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, they're seeking something.

[Michael Knowles]

Seeking. And so you gave them the number, you'd have kind of offline.

[Sean Dearing]

I'm one. I don't like to operate in that manner. But when the women would tell me, hey, I just need someone to talk to, or they would lead in that manner. And I would always try to direct them to the.

[Michael Knowles]

The agency.

[Sean Dearing]

The agency. But, you know, there was a time where I did exchange the numbers, and they would call me when they.

[Michael Knowles]

They're still paying you just off the. Off the books.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, well, you know, they would. I wouldn't necessarily see them too. Like, they would call me just to talk and stuff, but I did see a couple times off the books, and they would hand me some cash.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay, so you've given me the scope of your career with the. As a gigolo. And you say it started out I was okay morally with the women paying me for sex, but I was not okay with these guys who are. It's crazy to think you hear about women pretending they're on a contraceptive drug and they're not. And it's to lock a man down. You never think of it in the other way. The man is gonna try to impregnate the rich woman. But you say, okay, that part was too immoral. And that's when I got out. But there was this thing in the middle that you alluded to, which pertains to the big news story. And you said there are these guys who would hire you to sleep with their wives or girlfriends. And one of those guys is P. Diddy.

[Sean Dearing]

Yep. And when that night came, so I did also. I worked private parties, bartended, served at studios and places all around Los Angeles and stuff. And so that night, one night was doing. It was a pretty boring event. Only wine and about 13 guests at a gentleman's house at the Hills. And I kind of got all the guests, their wines and stuff. And I'm sort of standing there, and the reception's real in and out. And I see my phone kind of blinking, and I'm like, oh, crap. So I look at it. It says, garen James, missed call. And you know, when he calls, it's just one of those like, okay, you know, this is the real deal.

[Michael Knowles]

This is your boss. You gotta time.

[Sean Dearing]

So I told the guy, hey, Andy, I gotta go make a phone call real quick. And it's one of those seeds from back in the. The Verizon days, you know, I went to the side of the house, and I'm like, hitting call, like. And it's like, no bar. Yeah. So I'm on the side of the house, and there's trash cans. I'm like, go through. I see. I'm like, okay, it goes through. And I'm holding it, and I'm like, almost up on a trash can. It finally goes through to Garen James, and. And he's all like, hey, you available? I was like, I could be. He's like, okay, we got a Listers. Are you available to be here this time? And I'm like, I will be. So that's how that played out. I went in, I told the guy, I think his name was Andy. I was like, hey, Andy, I got a family emergency. I gotta head out. I'll leave all the wines out and stuff. He's like, all right, thank you very much. That was a real easy gig. And so I.

[Michael Knowles]

So this is the most Hollywood story I've ever heard. You're already at a party in the Hollywood Hills. You get a call, and he's a bartender. You get a call to do a sex job for a Listers at another Hollywood party. You give an excuse to the first guy. And now you're driving over to P. Diddy's house, Louisiana.

[Sean Dearing]

Fitness first. I had to shower out. Didn't want to go stinky, so I had to get clean. Had to go do a quick stop. And I'm in my little Ford Focus. You know, Beeper Bopper works well there in la because you can fit in all these parking spots. I think it was the Beverly Hills Hotel. Okay. Either there or her condo was the first one. But pull up. And this is where. So I don't know who I'm seeing. And so I show up to the address. I go up to the door, knock, and she opens the door.

[Michael Knowles]

This is Puff Daddy's girlfriend. This is Cassie.

[Sean Dearing]

And I didn't know I didn't put two and two together. And I. She opens the door. She was stunningly beautiful. Just had a presence. And like I almost. And she said, hi, come on in. All right. Hey. Starts telling me the situation and I'm like walking behind her. And, you know, I'm. I know how to handle myself in a sense. I've been around beautiful people. But she had a presence. And I was like, so.

[Michael Knowles]

So you're hired to do a job, but instantly you're enamored of this woman. You know, you.

[Sean Dearing]

It was weird. Like there's. Yeah, you could. I mean, it's like you could feel her spirit in Hawaii. Hawaii. You vibe off people. And I didn't think that was. I didn't really know that was a thing till I got older and stuff. And I realized, man, you can vibe off people. You can feel the energy and stuff. And so, like, she melted me. That was the energy at first, just melted me. Her stunning beauty and just the kindest person you could imagine. Like, just the sweetest. And something like, I'm almost fainting. I'm walking behind her and I'm like, oh, God, I feel my legs getting weak and I just tap her shoulders. Like, excuse me, I just gotta lay. I'm sorry if I'm stuttering. You just drop dead gorgeous. I just had to get that out of the way so that we can move forward. And I'm not just losing myself. She's like, oh, you're so sweet. Thank you. And walks me into a room, tells me the situation. She's like, oh, my. And I. I didn't realize they weren't husband and wife. But she tells me, hey, so we're just gonna have a little fun, you know, Wait here for now, but I'll come get you in a little bit. My husband likes to watch, you know, and then we'll just. We're gonna be out there on the couch having fun and we're just gonna be playing. All right.

[Michael Knowles]

So she. I mean, in many ways practically, they were together so long, it seems like they'd be husband and wife. So she refers to him as her husband. Yep. Even though it was a long term boyfriend.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

And the long term boyfriend just so happens to be. You don't know this at the time?

[Sean Dearing]

No. I was on the assumption that this a list or whoever was hired the most beautiful escort and I'm going to have fun with another escort that was. I mean, she was that, like stunning in a sense. I don't mean to mean like escort looking, but she just was Stunningly beautiful. And so, yeah, I'm not putting this together. And then I'm sitting in the room, and she even offered. She's like, oh, here's a bar. Could I make you anything? And I'm like, just, hey, thank you. Just go take care of yourself. I'm good, thank you. And then, yes, she comes back, and the session starts about 15 minutes later.

[Michael Knowles]

So when you say the session starts, you mean you guys do the thing that married couples do?

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, very. For this, you know, it was all. It's very performative, though. The whole system set up, you know, like the. Every flavor of Ciroc is on the bar. You know, every bottle's placed in positions.

[Michael Knowles]

Did that give it away?

[Sean Dearing]

You said Ciroc.

[Michael Knowles]

Hold on.

[Sean Dearing]

Well, I didn't put two and two together then, you know. You know, thinking about it, I should have.

[Michael Knowles]

That was the first clue. I don't think I would have put it down if I found myself in that situation. But so you're there. So you say it's very performative because.

[Sean Dearing]

She sits on a couch, and there's a couch like this, maybe facing. She's like, okay, sit there. She puts the towel down. Like, hey, just pour the baby oil all over me. And it would be heated. Some heated, some just room temperature. And, you know, because I remember, I.

[Michael Knowles]

Actually didn't follow the case that closely, the Diddy case, but one of the details that was in every headline was that investigators seized, like, a thousand bottles of baby oil.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, I mean, there's lots of baby oil. There's always baby oil. Always. And never got old. And I didn't see him until about the fourth or third or fourth encounter. I mean, but the first one. So we begin. She on the couch and directing. Like, hey, play with yourself. Do this. Lean this way. Just like, guiding. And I see, like, the. A little slit in the room. And I'm one to. I want to ensure I respect all those that I've seen. I don't want to disrespect any clients. I don't want to dispel any private information. The only reason I'm opening up about this is it's public now.

[Michael Knowles]

And so let me tell you something. Had you just sat down, we're meeting for the first time, and you told me this story. It's not that I would have immediately called you a liar, but I would have been very skeptical about your claims. You know, with this in the news, I'm sure there are going to be a lot of people who claim to have been Jewish Gigolos at freakoffs or in Diddy's house or whatever. There was some guy who claimed to be a lawyer working with the legal team. All these people making up a lot of stories. But I know that you actually did this stuff because you didn't volunteer this to go get publicity. Your name and your picture were revealed in court.

[Sean Dearing]

Well, yes, well, revealed in court. And then it started to go mainstream when 50 posted that picture. And I, I, I honestly thought, because.

[Michael Knowles]

Wait, what did 50 Cent.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, 50 Cent.

[Michael Knowles]

What did he post?

[Sean Dearing]

He said something like, I wonder what he did to these guys or something along those lines. So it's like very assumptive. And especially with what's going on, you know, people can, so, so the rapper.

[Michael Knowles]

Fitty sent posts your picture, along with a bunch of other guys, says, I wonder what P. Diddy did to you. And your name and your picture also come out in court, which is probably where 50 Cent got it. And all of this is quite corroborating of the fact that you're sitting in a hotel room at the Beverly Hills Hotel, or was it the Beverly Hills? Or at the condo, her condo, or.

[Sean Dearing]

The Beverly Hills Hotel, and she is.

[Michael Knowles]

Directing you in a sexual performance for P. Diddy, who's behind the curtain.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, he was in the room. Just a little creek open and you could tell it was. She was in. I mean, I didn't notice it till a few sessions in, but she was in, under his control.

[Michael Knowles]

So hold on, guys. This is the part of the story that to me is really interesting from the legal perspective. The claim of the prosecution in the Diddy case was that he was coercing these women, chiefly her. But from the story you're describing, she welcomes you in, she tells you what to do. She's directing. This, this sounds like a woman who, again, ultimately, because I have a Christian conception of liberty, ultimately, I think this is not a free woman. This is a woman who's in the thrall to a lot of vice and sin. But in the modern legal conception of liberty, it sounds like this woman's totally free and she's telling you what to do. It doesn't sound like he's got a whip and a chain and he's, and.

[Sean Dearing]

That'S, you know, I'm one, I respect the setting, I respect clients. And I realize I'm there to have a job, so I'm there to do, to do a job. I want to ensure the clients get what they pay for. So, like, I didn't, I wouldn't listen to their Arguments and stuff. If there was some.

[Michael Knowles]

But they were having arguments, I would hear things.

[Sean Dearing]

Nothing. It. When I. I didn't hear vicious tones and stuff, and. But I would hear noise. You could hear them discussing stuff and some pretty strong tones. But at that time, too, I'm not like, I. I didn't want to include myself into anyone's business. I was like, that's.

[Michael Knowles]

You're hired to do a job.

[Sean Dearing]

Exactly. And that's. You know, I didn't want to try to get a story or anything. I didn't want to have any desire, so I didn't want to try to listen to anything what I was going to say. Initially, it was very. Seemed very cordial, very light. But as the sessions grew, there were times her spirit, you could tell were just. It was a completely different spirit.

[Michael Knowles]

What do you mean by that?

[Sean Dearing]

Where instead of the jovial smile. Hi, welcome in. What could I get you? Okay. All right, go here. We'll be out soon. I sit here. And there were times in the sessions where I saw that demon. The demon that she talked about, you know? Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

What do you mean she a demon? Like a kind of a personal demon, you know, These are the demons that are afflicting me. Or did he.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. Diddy, Diddy, Diddy.

[Michael Knowles]

You could see.

[Sean Dearing]

I see the fear. Well, and that's the thing. I made a statement to News Nation that I wanted to clear out. So there was a time in the later sessions where.

[Michael Knowles]

How many sessions were there?

[Sean Dearing]

I'd say in between 15 to 25. With us about, probably.

[Michael Knowles]

So pun intended. You are very intimately acquainted with Diddy and his girlfriend?

[Sean Dearing]

Fairly. Yeah, there was. And he was always like, honestly talking to him. I'm a people person. I talk. I'll laugh. You can laugh at me. I love it. You know, there's no. No harms. No, I feel no harm in that. But trying to talk to him was like talking to a soulless wall. It just was all about. Yeah, right here.

[Michael Knowles]

All about the sex.

[Sean Dearing]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, just like, there was one time, that's how the conversations were. Like, him and I were. We were on a bed, separated, but, you know, laying near the top, and she was at the base performing. He's like, hey, man, why more men doing this? Why more guys doing this stuff? And I come to realize he knew the agency and he knows more men are doing this. And I just responded. Tried to respond pretty quickly, and I was like, oh, man. Men will want to. Men want to own, so men will want your woman, and it creates jealousy and stuff. So that when he says, why aren't.

[Michael Knowles]

More men doing this? Does he mean, why aren't more men doing what I'm doing?

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, like gigolo and being a.

[Michael Knowles]

More men doing what you're doing?

[Sean Dearing]

Yes.

[Michael Knowles]

Why aren't more men? Because it seems, you know, for like a teenage boy, maybe, it seems like.

[Sean Dearing]

Why aren't more dudes doing this?

[Michael Knowles]

And your answer is because men want ownership. They want a woman of their own. They don't want a.

[Sean Dearing]

That was my quick response. And, you know, I was just trying to give him an answer. I didn't want to leave him hanging and stuff, but that's how it was. It just. There was never any more than that. So in a sense too, there was. I've only bought one CD in my life and it was, I'll be missing you. But Diddy, you know, she. You know that song he wrote for his. Who I thought was his brother. And it took me many times. It took me. I thought about it. I was like. Because I just wanted to, you know, I didn't want to connect. Connect. I'm there for a job, but I'm like, I want to.

[Michael Knowles]

I want to know this guy.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. I just want to have a cordial conversation. I just want to break the ice and just talk to you, you know, I mean, you're. I'm over here sleeping with your lady and I just want to know you as a man. And so I told him one day I was finally just like, I was going to just say it like, hey, man, I've only bought one CD in my life. It was the piece you put together for your brother, Little Smalls, man, I'll be missing you. And I thought that would be like, oh, he could talk about his brother and we could. I could talk about my brother and we could like, start to relate that way. His response was, that's what's up? Yeah. I'm just like, cool, man. All right. All right.

[Michael Knowles]

Right back to work.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

So this guy, from the picture you're painting and the quartz have painted and from like video footage, I guess is a. Is a sex crazed animal. Is that overstating it?

[Sean Dearing]

That's. I could. I mean, I would say that's fair. That's definitely fair. From my own personal experience, this is like. Yeah, it's like he had a. And it was the power too. You know, I could tell it was the power that turned him on as well. It was the. It wasn't just the naked bodies touching and stuff. It was the power he had.

[Michael Knowles]

This is gonna. This Maybe is a dumb question. There are gonna be a lot of people asking. And this is my confusion, too. If you're a guy and you have a pretty girlfriend, you should get married, I guess, and have kids and have a big family and a good life. But even short of that, seems to me you'd want to just sleep with your girlfriend a lot because she's really hot. Why would you want to. Why would you want some other guy to sleep with your girlfriend? And why would you pay for it.

[Sean Dearing]

That. You know, I don't know the exact answer to that one. Because I'm. I'm like you. I want my wife.

[Michael Knowles]

You're the guy in this situation, and you don't know the answer.

[Sean Dearing]

I have no idea. I don't. I don't understand how. Why that's. I don't. You know, I think it's the deception. It's one of the devil's greatest tools that, like, you think you're satisfied, but you want more. You know, you just want more. Like, this was fun, but you could have more. And if you don't have something to steer you in line, to be like, no, that's a sin. You don't need that. Your flesh will, you know, indulge.

[Michael Knowles]

That's my thing. So basically, you're the rich rapper, you have a hot girlfriend, You've done that thing 10 billion times. And now, because it's not ordered, it's not ordered towards something, you just need more titillation.

[Sean Dearing]

That's what I think it is. Yeah. That's my assumption as to. You hear the audio of what may have happened behind closed doors with Diddy and some rappers, and then some of them aren't as famous as they were before those moments that they had with Diddy. And I think it's my assumption it's a power thing. Right?

[Michael Knowles]

Because. Hold on. The thing you're alluding to, which I think is public, it's not. We're not exactly revealing private sins here. Diddy's like half a gay guy. It seems like he's doing weird stuff with guys and making guys do weird stuff with him.

[Sean Dearing]

I want to make it very clear. He never touched me. Him and I never had any physical interactions. I just want to make that clear.

[Michael Knowles]

But that does add a wrinkle to this where you say, well, hold on, if he's half a gay guy, why does he even have a girlfriend? And because he's just a pervert, basically. Is it right?

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. Many other men that I've talked to, like, Cassie is one of the most beautiful women you. You could. She's. She's a very gorgeous, beautiful woman. And I think Diddy, you know, he had that and he wants to be above everyone else. So that was kind of his. His satisfaction. It was like, her beauty is great, but. But I own it. And you want it, but I own it. So this is one. So there's a few times where I got to see that side of the Diddy where it was all about power and her and I can have no interaction without him there. If he. Because there was a moment where doing. You know, we're naked and on a couch and Diddy kind of gets up and walks and she just kind of pauses and. Huh. And then just sits like this. And I kind of lean back on the couch and then I just kind of. Hey. I forget what the topic I tried to bring up, like, hey, what happened yesterday? Or blah, blah, blah. Just something off the top.

[Michael Knowles]

Catch those Yankees.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. Something just to have a. To break the ice in a sense. And she just looks. She just goes, not till he comes back. Just. Nope, wait till he comes back. And just like, straight. And so that's when I was made a statement on News Nation. It wasn't fear I was sensing, but it was this woman knows next level what she has to do to get through this situation. Like, she knows if I even possibly talk with him, he's gonna. What'd you say to him? What are you talking about?

[Michael Knowles]

Cause there's video of him beating her in a hallway.

[Sean Dearing]

I was supposed to be there that night. I was supposed to. Yeah, I gotta figure that. Found that out from a reporter who found out all the chat logs and stuff. But, yeah, I was supposed to be there that night. Yeah, it would have been. I don't know what would happen, but that's how I like to see it. I'm the guy. I don't like to. I don't never start a fight, but I would like to bring it down. I like to try to tone it down. You know, I don't. I like to try to bring peace and civility. So.

[Michael Knowles]

So you were supposed to be there the night Diddy's film beating his girlfriend. And you're wondering, rather than say, man, I'm so glad I wasn't there that night, you're thinking, man, had I been there, maybe that wouldn't have happened.

[Sean Dearing]

I like to think there's a chance that I could have hopefully brought the spirit down. I don't know, maybe just trying to. Maybe I'm talking a little too tall here. But it's like that's kind of been my. I guess my thing is I have a vibe, I guess, you know, and I don't mind getting punched in the head if it could bring some peace and civility. I will fight back and try to defend myself. But at the same time, I could, I don't know, I would try to bear hug him if I saw him beat her up. I don't know what would have happened, but I would have tried to quell the situation if not, you know. Yeah, I probably would have had to talk with the guy and be like, man, this Garen been like, nah, I don't stand for this because I absolutely would not stand for that action. So do not stand for a man putting his hands on a woman. Of course.

[Michael Knowles]

Of course I would tell you. I would hope not. But take me back to this moment on the couch, P. Diddy leaves the room. You guys were doing whatever you were doing. He leaves the room, stops, she turns away. You try to talk to her. She says, we're not even supposed to talk. She just goes into her own head at this moment. Before that, I could see how you could tell yourself, well, hey, it's all just fun. This is what they want to do, and I'm just part of what they want to do. And I'm just here to serve the client, keep the customer satisfied. At this moment, does it dawn on you, hey, maybe. Maybe she doesn't want to be doing this.

[Sean Dearing]

Maybe not in those exact terms, but I was like. It was like, whoa, follow her lead, you know, like, oh, shit, this is. Okay, she's telling me something. When they asked unusnation, did you sense fear? And I said, I didn't sense fear, but it was because I was in the presence of a survivor. Not just a survivor, but my mom helped me correlate these thoughts of a. Not a victim, but she's a survivor. That's all she was. She was not a victim there, but she was a survivor. And she knew that to get through this situation and possibly not get a beat down, she couldn't talk without.

[Michael Knowles]

So why didn't she leave? Why? She tried to leave that night in the hotel. And then he drags her. She was at the. On video, she was at the elevator. And he catches her right before the elevator and drags her back and kicks her and hits her and beats her. He's just a complete animal, a savage. But in that moment, he leaves. She could have run away. No, maybe not. Maybe she's got some psychological damage.

[Sean Dearing]

The arms of this is where, too. I'm a simple man. Like I said, I'm a Hawaii boy. Things are very. I look at things very simply. I know things are very complicated, but when you break things down simply, you can. It helps me to understand them. Why didn't she leave? The arms of whatever system Diddy has are much bigger than any we can perceive that we know of. And I say this because Diddy want that. And this is after a great session. So there's a few. A few moments where I realized, like, I understood my place in a sense. So one time, Diddy. So every time I go. Have to turn off the phone, hand it to him first thing, hand him the phone. They take the phone every session. The end of the night comes, hands the phone in the cash, and he's like. He comes up to me, and this was like. It was nothing. This was like very. Seemed like very cordial. No, like, everything went smooth. And he's handing me my phone and stuff. He's like, hey, man, you know, I know everyone's grandma and. Right. And where they live. And I'm just like, yeah, we're good. And he's like, all right, all right. So that's why, though, I decided to look at it. I didn't want to be like, what He.

[Michael Knowles]

He tells me, you know where. I know where everyone's grandma.

[Sean Dearing]

He said. He said, you know, I know where everybody and their grandma lives. Right. And then I just had to, you know, my. I had to think. I had to pause. I didn't want to be like, I know people, too.

[Michael Knowles]

I know where your grammy is. Did he.

[Sean Dearing]

I know where you live. You know, I didn't want to play none of that game, so I just had to, like, I. I absorbed it, and I realized, oh, I know what he's saying. You know, he's threatening you, in a sense. Yeah. Saying it without saying it. And he's like, all right. And I started to look him like, yeah, we're good. We're good, man. And so he's like, all right, all right. Hands you my phone. So I was just like, so he.

[Michael Knowles]

Knows that what he's doing is bad. He knows that it's degenerate. Would be damaging to his reputation. Even his reputation.

[Sean Dearing]

Well, and I got another story to back that up. So one time. I mean, at that time especially, I was fascinated by Cassie. And so I would bring her gifts. I had a duffel bag. Had a duffel bag with gifts and outfits or whatever, you know, to. We didn't really go too deep into It.

[Michael Knowles]

But gifts, like just for her or for the performance? Just for her. How much are they paying you?

[Sean Dearing]

Those are my highest paying clients. They paid well.

[Michael Knowles]

I can imagine they paid pretty well.

[Sean Dearing]

I'm not a wise spender, so I would take a portion of what they paid me and I would go buy her gifts.

[Michael Knowles]

That's very nice, very generous.

[Sean Dearing]

But I have this. I had a bag, had a duffel bag, some outfits and a couple gifts and stuff. I have my watch. So I put my bag down on a counter. Like the setting was somewhat like this, but it was more of like a counter against the wall with some drawers and stuff. I put my bag on the side and I had a G shock. And I put it on the table. We go through the whole night, the whole session, and get everything done. Put my watch up, go to the door and we're wrapping up. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that watch. That one of those. This is what, like five, six, seven or eight years ago? Yeah, not more. It's like, yeah, hey, that watch there, that one of them with them cameras in it. And I was like. And then I was like, my mind spans. I was like, oh, yeah. I was on the counter. I was like, oh, snap. It must have been facing out. And I'm guessing he saw that. So I'm like, this. Oh, that was a G shock. I was like, oh, no, dude, you know what? No, it doesn't here. You guys think. He's like, oh, no, we're good, we're good. No need. As long as you don't got a camera. And I'm like, we're good, man. I was like, you know what?

[Michael Knowles]

Guilty man flees when none pursue it. So you left the watch.

[Sean Dearing]

I dunked it. I was like, you know what, man? I don't want to. I was like, I don't want anything. I don't want there to have any suspicion. I was like, yeah, you know what, dude? So I was like, nah, man, like right here. And I was like, nope, I just dropped it in the trash. And I was just like, it's not worth it. It's a 50 buck watch. I don't want it.

[Michael Knowles]

G shock's a nice watch.

[Sean Dearing]

I love him.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, but he obviously was paranoid, as he should be. That line of. It's a great line of scripture. The guilty flee when none pursueth. If you're doing bad stuff, first of all, everyone knows someone's watching. Someone up there is watching. And so all of a sudden you think, does that guy. Does my co worker know? Does my Wife, know, the thing that I just did. I don't think you threaten, I'm gonna go kill your grandma. If it's just, you know, people might write mean things about me online, and.

[Sean Dearing]

I'm assuming he thought I would turn around and write a book or something, you know, to expose, But I'm not that guy. Like, even, like. Like when this all happened, my phone starts blowing up, you know, going into the trial, and, you know, I. I didn't know how to take it. It just. It was a storm. But I just. I get. That's the only reason I did give a few interviews. I just wanted my side to be heard. A lot of my buddies back home are like, oh, what Diddy do to him, man? What the heck? People's minds wander.

[Michael Knowles]

He didn't do anything to me. It didn't do anything to me. He paid me to sleep with his girlfriend.

[Sean Dearing]

And, you know. But, you know, people's minds will wander, and they have the right to. We all assume things.

[Michael Knowles]

So Diddy beats the racketeering charges, which are the really serious charge. Like, he's running a major criminal enterprise. Do you think in your fairly extensive experience in his criminal enterprise, alleged criminal enterprise, should he have been found guilty? If you were on the jury, would you have voted to find him guilty?

[Sean Dearing]

I would have to see the evidence.

[Michael Knowles]

But you saw some of it up close.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, with what I've experienced, yeah, absolutely. There's arms to what he did. You know, this operation doesn't happen. It has to have an orchestrator. The symphony doesn't. It would sound like a bunch of banging rackets, and it would have been a mess. But these were operations. So in a sense, like, you know, I did many events. And so as I go into the situation, I see the bottles and everything. I was like, wow, this is a production. You know, that's like, one of my first thoughts. Like, this is production. I'm like, after two, I realized it's Diddy. I'm like, yeah, I don't see Diddy up here putting these bottles. And, you know, I don't necessarily think that's a crime setting up a situation, but everyone knows what's going on, you know, and so in a sense, too, that's what I've come to realize is a way that the rich and powerful get away with things. A term called plausible deniability. You know, so.

[Michael Knowles]

So he was always one step removed. And so he's got.

[Sean Dearing]

And I believe he understands the game to level, and he has people in places that can do things and move Things in order to get his desired outcome and such.

[Michael Knowles]

So when he threatened you, did, were you afraid?

[Sean Dearing]

No.

[Michael Knowles]

No.

[Sean Dearing]

Like, I. I mean, it's just like, I see myself as like, I'm like, dude, I'm a nobody. Come on, man.

[Michael Knowles]

But you're a nobody.

[Sean Dearing]

You're gonna waste so much time.

[Michael Knowles]

But you got dirt on him. You're. You might be kind of a nobody, meaning you're not rich and famous, but you have knowledge about bad things he's doing, which means you have leverage, which means you have power.

[Sean Dearing]

Well, first and foremost, I serve God. So it's like, if you're going to send me to my maker quicker, go for it, buddy. Like, come on. Send me to a better place quicker. Come on. And if God doesn't want it, have fun, buddy. It'll be fun for you.

[Michael Knowles]

But I guess that's a good attitude to have. Generally. We don't want to have servile fear. We want holy fear. But now, Diddy could have faced life in prison. He could have died in prison. Given the outcome of the trial, he'll face four or five years. He hasn't been sentenced yet. As of our conversation, if you were afraid then before you had spilled anything publicly, before any of this had come to light, are you not at least a little bit afraid of reprisal now? This guy's got tentacles arms. You're not at all afraid of reprisal?

[Sean Dearing]

No.

[Michael Knowles]

Do you think he might try to do something?

[Sean Dearing]

Like. I mean, if. I doubt it. I mean, I'm a small twig in this big old tree, but if he wants to waste energy on me, have fun. I'll play the game. I mean, I'm not welcoming it. I'm not trying to call him out or anything, but I respect how they respected me, and I don't respect his conduct, but it is what it is. I move forward.

[Michael Knowles]

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[Sean Dearing]

I struggled. I didn't see it like that in perspective. I didn't see, I guess, just my passion to serve. I just was blinded by the situation. I'm here to serve. I'm gonna do my duty, serve the client.

[Michael Knowles]

In this case, the clients did.

[Sean Dearing]

It did take me, you know, I guess I wouldn't say a few years, but it took me to, you know, to step out of that situation in a sense, like, I guess call it breaking out of the matrix for me to see it for what it was. Because. So there's other situations, too, where, like my mindset, I couldn't see it for the evil it was, especially being. Obviously, I don't want to think I'm that evil. I'm doing these.

[Michael Knowles]

Is that. Is that why. Because that. Look, we've all done it. Whenever I've been terrible, well, we're all sinners. But I've been worse than at other times, you know, in my life. And in the moment, you don't see it as clearly as you do in retrospect, because why because you don't say, well, I can't be the bad guy.

[Sean Dearing]

And for me, it was, I like to please. I like to serve. If I'm not doing it, like, some other wicked douchebag might come in and service these ladies. But it's not in the same spiritual context. Like, you know, I give my. I wouldn't say I give my soul, but I do give my heart to those times I listen to fully, you know? And so my thought was, well, if I'm not gonna see them, some other guys will, and they're not gonna give them, you know, the desire. I'm gonna give it my all.

[Michael Knowles]

Like, if you're going to engage in an exploitative act, or if you're going to be subjected to an exploitative act, better it be with me than with some bad guy.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, that was somewhat the, I guess, how I made it okay in my own mind, you know? And I guess the attention, too, kind of made me blind to it. The fact that, you know, the fact that people would pay for my image, I'm like, this world's crazy. When I started modeling, then women would pay me for my time. I'm like, these ladies are even crazier. But I must be doing something right. And if I can, you know, obviously I'm getting paid for it. But if I can serve someone and put a smile on someone's face, I'll do it. And even though now that I respect how degrading it is, my conversation with those women that maybe want to spend time with me, the conversation would be different. You know, I would try to lead it in different directions, and I would not sleep with them. I'm not that guy anymore. But I do want to have heart to heart. Right?

[Michael Knowles]

Right. Because that seems to be the thread. The through line of all of this is you want to please people. And even, you know, as you say, these women want this service, and you say, well, I want to give it to them, even if it's not good for them. There's one time, I remember I was out with a buddy. We were at a cigar bar late at night, you know, have a. Having a smoke, having some drinks. We go out and a bum on the street comes up and he says, hey, can you give me money? And I said, what do you want the money for? Food.

[Sean Dearing]

Food.

[Michael Knowles]

I said, you don't want. You're not gonna. You are not. Don't lie to me. You're not gonna use this money to get food. And he was like, no, you're right. I'm gonna Use this money to get a drink. And I said, okay, well, I can't give it to you. And he says, why not? You've been drinking. I was like, I have been drinking, but drinking's not that bad for me. I don't need to drink. It doesn't make my life worse. But drinking would be bad for you because it would make your life worse. And I don't want to participate in making your life worse. And that was how we left it. He was cool. He was fine with it. So when you say, well, if I were going on these dates now, the conversations would be different.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Is that the distinction?

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. It would be much more depth of, what are you seeking? You want temporary pleasure?

[Michael Knowles]

What's really good for you?

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. Because that. And that's one thing took me. I'm one. I doubt things till I see it or live it, you know? And so, you know, this is another instance of while in a situation like that, you know, living in Sodom and Gomorrah, basically in la, where it's just pure sin.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Sean Dearing]

But there was a moment, this is where it was just kind of affirmation of the Holy Spirit again on a couch doing her thing. And Diddy kind of walked around in the kitchen, so he was present this time. And she kind of sits back, sits back. And she's like, I don't know. There's just something about you. There's like an energy or spirit just about you. I don't know, it's different, but I like it. And it's pretty awesome. And I just was like, what? I was like, what would make her say that? What would make her feel something about me? And I come to realize it was probably my mom on her hands and knees praying for me at that moment in time. Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. Hold on. So this is another. You become a model and then a gigolo and then a gigolo for Puff Daddy. Does your family know about this?

[Sean Dearing]

I didn't tell anyone.

[Michael Knowles]

No way.

[Sean Dearing]

No, it's not one I didn't bash. Like, no one I worked with knew. I don't think. I think I had kind of made a side reference. I never talk straight up because I respect my clients and I don't.

[Michael Knowles]

Because you pointed off camera. Because you met my producer, Ben Davies, doing good friend.

[Sean Dearing]

Catering job, catering jobs back in the day.

[Michael Knowles]

But you weren't telling people that you were doing this.

[Sean Dearing]

I never dated girls at my work and I never. I didn't. I didn't talk about this. No, this was a. Yeah, I. I didn't Find necessarily, I wasn't proud of it necessarily, but I, I, I appreciated serving women and making decent money. I was able to live survive there in la. I wasn't a wise investor, which I should have been, but I was able to just, you know, get by decently and.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, and you didn't expect to be brought up by prosecutors in a major criminal case years later.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, and that's the thing too. I just got blasted. It was on a Monday. Just get blasted by every outlet, cnn, NBC. And they're all. I realized. Cause the People article had come out. There's a guy, actually a decent, this guy. I don't like media personnel. I do not like the media. Cause in my job, I realized too, I was that fly on the wall. I'd be serving behind places. And then you hear people talk about like people in the media. It's like it doesn't matter what the hell the truth is. It just matters what make the peasants believe. You just gotta make your truth their truth. I hear these things like, huh, you know, I'm sorry, my brain, I forget where I was going with that.

[Michael Knowles]

Keep going with that. Cause you're working, as you say, you're only working the gigolo jobs a handful of days per month. You have other days, you're working other jobs, you're catering. So you're getting a really direct view of Gomorrah by the sea when you're cucking Puff Daddy. But you're getting another view of Gamora by the sea when you're overhearing these hotshot A list at the parties, executives talking about. So what are they saying?

[Sean Dearing]

Stuff about how, oh, we'll have, oh, well, we're gonna have this in the film. And people would talk about like how they would set up social constructs or social narratives. They would talk about, you know, I didn't directly hear about the transgender movement, but they would talk about how they would implement ideas through their show. And then, well, they know this person at the Department of Education and then they know this person over here to enable to work this out. So if there's ever any legal recourse, I know the prosecutor. So let's go talking about instilling messages in their, in their media and stuff like subliminal type messages and things like that too. And this is the thing too, at the time, I'm a fly on the wall and I'm like, I'm hearing this, but I'm thinking, no, people aren't that stupid. Like, and this is at the time where, you know, algorithms Blown up. And people are doing everything algorithm based. Even as I'm hearing them say this behind closed doors, my soul is thinking, oh, people aren't that stupid. People can think for themselves. And then you see things like the Tide Pod Challenge come out on Snapchat and things like this where, you know, that was when.

[Michael Knowles]

That was when Zoomers were eating Tide Pods. Right? That was the.

[Sean Dearing]

And it's, you know, you hear. And I was. There was a party that I had worked on. It was on the Hermosa beach pier, and it was somewhere in the early days, I think had been around a few years now, one or two. And some sort of a. There's a pretty awesome party there on the pier. And you hear guys talking about like, ah, yeah, well, that stupid bitch in high school, I just got to tweak an algorithm and she's sending me nudes and stuff. And it's just like, you hear how they can just, you know, create the realities for. And like these people who are running these platforms and stuff, all they got to do is put in a few algorithms. Yeah, I could just go, ah, kill that algorithm. But they're like, this is funny. How many people will. How many will we get?

[Michael Knowles]

Well, and there's a parallel too, because you're saying the part that's so confusing for people is why, if you're a rich, powerful guy, would you pay some dude to sleep with your girlfriend? And you say, well, it's about the control. And here you're talking about the control from the level of the media executives down to just random degenerates in Hollywood. And so look, this is the, as far as I'm concerned, primordial sin. This desire to be in control of everything, to make yourself into God, ye shall be as gods is the promise from the serpent in the garden. And it's the premise of the liberal ideology, which is, no men, no gods, no kings, only men. We're going to make ourselves gods. We're going to remake the world as we like. So, okay, all of this is tracking my philosophical priors, but what about your moral reality? You're in this, you're working your catering jobs. Then however many times per month, you're going over, doing the gigolo gigs, cuckolding Puff Daddy, having this nice, apparently nice relationship with Cassie, his girlfriend. How do you get out of it? How do you get out of the Puff Daddy freak off scene? And how do you get out of gigoloing?

[Sean Dearing]

When I realized that, you know, that thought of, I want to provide them, I want to give Them the best experience, I want to provide them with a good time. I realized how, how detrimental it really was for. And it was so one threshold that helped me see the depths of evil to this and how I personally was blinded by the narrative and my own.

[Michael Knowles]

And contributing to it. And contributing to it by participating.

[Sean Dearing]

Exactly. Yeah. So there was one client I had, he was the Dean of Medicine. The only reason I'm gonna say this now, cause he is, he was arrested in like 2018.

[Michael Knowles]

Okay.

[Sean Dearing]

That's a sick individual, by the way. And so he was a client of mine. And.

[Michael Knowles]

Sorry, don't mean to laugh. You're talking about a guy at a prestigious school in a very serious position in medicine, engaging in a threat to public health.

[Sean Dearing]

And, and it, this is how it gets. So he had a young girl, not young, about 21, 22. And this is where, how old is he? Like 68 at the time. And this is how I got to see the true dark side and how my own mindset, how clouded my own judgment was. So she, There's a box, you know, about yay big off to the side. He opens it up and it's got about six, seven, eight different hardcore drugs in it. And so they get a pipe, put some, I guess, meth in it and just light it up right there and start smoking it. And in my own mind I'm thinking, well, that's a Dean of Medicine. He must know what drugs are safe. He must know how to pass the drug test. I guess they drug test deans that. And then I'm like, that's, no, that's how twisted this all is. And what really disgusted me is how, you know, you would see articles written in media outlets where I would have, you know, I would have a session with the Dean of Medicine. And he's a disc disgusting degenerate, degenerate. And then you would hear the source of the information. The source for the information in the article was the Dean of Medicine. So I'm just like, like, I, that's where I'm like, like that's sick that they're. I, I forget what the topic was. It was a long time, it was a while back, but there was, there was things of concern. And the LA Times would be like, you know, headline do this source the deal.

[Michael Knowles]

Like I was smoking last night.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, Well, I, I didn't indulge. I, I, I at least saw him smoking meth. Yes. And, and what, this is also what, you know, what I saw with some of the men that would were cuckolds and Would have me come in to please their ladies. He would show me pictures and videos of about four or five black dudes doing things to her. And I just, like, just. I did want to punch him in the face, but I was just utterly disgusted. Yeah, that's how degrading. Yeah, he's a sick, sick man at the same time. Well, she went to, like, use the bathroom. Oh, yeah, Look. Look what we were doing last week. And he's just showing me the videos of, like, four dudes going to work on it. And there was a moment where he walked out, and he wasn't as controlling as Diddy, but he walked out. She's sitting next to me, and my soul, I was just like. My soul felt it. It was one of those. I just like, wow. And so I didn't know what to ask, but I just look at her. I was like, hey, are you okay with all this? You okay with all this? And she was like, well, my mom's a drug addict. I'm a drug addict, so I get to do this and have fun. Yeah, I'm for it. And I was just like, he put the hooks in and he's gonna keep.

[Michael Knowles]

Because there you have an admission that it's not even just that you get a girl who's psychologically messed up, but you get a girl who's a drug addict. He's exploiting a girl who's a drug addict to feed his own degenerate sexual vices. That is sick stuff, man. Cause we were talking earlier about different conceptions of freedom. That girl is not free. I mean, if you're.

[Sean Dearing]

And from the outside looking in, people would be like, you get to live in a mansion with this rich man, and you've done nothing. Yeah, yeah. She's like, lack of it up. She's a complete slave to the drug. Well, him and the drugs. And she's an absolute slave in that situation because she doesn't get her drugs. She turns in. Who knows if she turns into. He's got him, so do what I say.

[Michael Knowles]

So why the minute you say these degenes who are. Some of whom have. Well, puff daddy is super rich, super famous, very powerful. But then this other guy, it's almost worse because he's got this really white collar, mainstream, supposedly respectable job. Not that I respect university administrators all that much. You know, I'm a little skeptical of them generally, but should be a very respectable job. And they're engaging in this gross, gross stuff. Are they porn addicts? Are they godless?

[Sean Dearing]

What led them to my assumption Is they're godless. And so they.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, they are. I'm sorry to cut you off and I want to hear your point on this. I just mean at a very direct level. How would you even get the idea to invite four dudes over to abuse your girlfriend? Is it mimetic? Did he see it? Is he a porn addict?

[Sean Dearing]

I don't know. I'm not asking you to. I'm assuming porn was the. The gateway, the ultimate gateway. I don't know exactly, but it's one of those. It's a degeneracy. I don't know. I can't comprehend. It's just something. I can't fathom, that level of degeneracy.

[Michael Knowles]

So you make the very good point with that. Obviously godlessness.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, because I love people. I could never do something so degrading to another individual. And why? Because God says, do unto others as you would have done unto you. And I can see, like these guys, they don't get this type of. No one dictates what they do in this sort of way. So in a sense, like you said earlier, they're their own God. And so this is how they. The only way they've. You know, it's a slippery slope that never ends. If you serve Satan, that's slippery slope. Or we go straight down, it's going to go deeper and get a lot hotter.

[Michael Knowles]

In fact, John Milton in Paradise Lost says, in the mouth of Satan, he says, the mind is its own place. It can make a hell of heaven and heaven a hell. Better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven. Which is why I say, this is the idea. This is at the heart of the ideology of liberalism, but really it goes back to the original sin. So you see these guys in your mind, you're saying, I'm a Christian, I believe in God, I'm spiritual. I'm feeling vibes of souls and stuff. But you're looking around, you're saying, well, hold on. The people I'm literally serving in this moment are godless and I'm serving them.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. What does that say about me? Yeah, it was hard for me. I didn't recognize it as that. See, my dream too, as a kid was my mom would always tell me, you better marry a Christian girl, you better marry a Christian girl. And I see why now we're in a spiritual battle here in this world. But my goal is, I love you, mom, but I want to bring them to Christ. I want that challenge. I want to bring them to Christ. And so I know that sounds very Dark and twisted. But, like, if I hope to be that pathway one day for anyone, if it's one person.

[Michael Knowles]

But what if you met. You're not married.

[Sean Dearing]

No, sir.

[Michael Knowles]

What if you met a nice Christian girl and you hit it off? Would you say, well, no, I don't want to marry you because I want the challenge of converting a sinner.

[Sean Dearing]

No, I realize my flesh can mislead me in this battle. I want a partner. I don't want to. I'm at the point where I want that boost, not the lift up. I don't want to be trying to drag someone into Christ's path. I want that boost. I want to work as a partnership in the spiritual war, because that's what it is.

[Michael Knowles]

Probably a sign of maturity, but I feel like we've skipped something. You realize this is bad. You realize you've made a mistake. You realize you got to get out of this. Tell me about the last session with Diddy. Tell me about the last session, period. Tell me nuts and bolts how you get out of it.

[Sean Dearing]

I can't exactly recall the last session with Diddy because here's what's funny. He actually called me because I had come home about eight years ago, went home to Hawaii and working on my family project. We got a family project out there. And it was about three or four months I'd been home, and Diddy calls me. He calls me, and it's like four in the morning out there. And he calls me. He's like, hey, yeah, yeah, you around? And I was like. And this is where it goes into. I was attempting. I was trying to talk to him and be like, hey, man, you should probably come out to Hawaii sometime. You know, I got this place where there'll be no paparazzi or anything. And he's click. And I'm like, oh, yeah, he's trying to get down to business. I wasn't going to talk about doing any future services or nothing, but I wanted to possibly get him out to our property and, like, talk Christ with him. I know that won't work, but that was my goal, my work.

[Michael Knowles]

You're in Hawaii, you get effectively a booty call from Puff Daddy. You say, no, I'm not really doing that. But anyway, you want to come hang out and eat some pineapple? And before you. He hangs up.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. I'm like, oh, yeah, he wants to get the business. So, yeah. But probably about four or five. Five years ago. Five or six.

[Michael Knowles]

So, okay, so you just. You can't recall the last time you worked for P. Diddy it was.

[Sean Dearing]

You know, the sessions were. It was like moments like that when he would tell me, hey, my grandma, you know, I know people, or, you know, that watch. It was moments like that that stuck. But it had become a process in a sense. So I don't remember, like, the last one because I'm not, like, a numbers guy. I have no idea.

[Michael Knowles]

Did you quit or did you just stop?

[Sean Dearing]

Because I had realized that this business operation was much darker than I thought. And I had a conversation with Garon about. And this. I don't want to go too deep into it, but one of the actions of one of the other gigolos was very dirty, dark, like he was trying to plant his seeds into rich women. And I could see the game plan of what he was trying to do, in a sense of impregnate these women and divorce them and just to screw him. And so I saw this.

[Michael Knowles]

And. To get money.

[Sean Dearing]

To get money.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, okay.

[Sean Dearing]

To get money for himself. And this guy was a demon. This guy was a disgusting dude. Pathetic prick. And what he would do is he would abuse these women mentally, and he would. The ladies told me the psychological abuse he used on them and the psychological games he played to have his plan come together.

[Michael Knowles]

As I said, they're the ones hiring him, so how does he. How can they claim to be abused by him? They're the ones in charge.

[Sean Dearing]

That's. What is it, Stockholm syndrome? In a sense, that's all I can contribute it to. But it's where, you know, they had a connection with him. But then, you know, I guess with time, his true intentions would come through. And then. So it would get dark. And then, you know, they. He would. He would. They would. The ladies would tell me that. He would tell them, hey, you have to see me. Like, I. I'm coming. Like, you know, you better be ready, because I'm coming. And so they'd be like, all right. You know, like, okay. I guess it was a sense of submission, you know, and they just.

[Michael Knowles]

The sense of solution. Like, they were into it sort of.

[Sean Dearing]

I guess, in a. Say, in a way, too. Like, even this guy was twisted and distorted, and I'm kind of just the very. I'm the opposite. Like, I love to serve. I'll do anything for you. You want me to go get this, I'll do that. Well, he was the. Like, I own you, and you're gonna do this for me. I'm assuming, you know, those were the stories he told.

[Michael Knowles]

So this actually. Okay, this starts to make sense, and it helps to make Sense of the Cassie P. Diddy situation too, which is you could say in this situation, the woman could say, I want a man to be really mean to me. That's what I'm paying for. I want that.

[Sean Dearing]

I could see. I do see how that was. It's one of those things, getting into it. I never thought that a woman would want that. I thought women wanted to be treated like queens, princesses. But there is a side that, like, women. Some women do like to be choked. Some women do like to get, you know, they like to know the man's in control.

[Michael Knowles]

But this is what. This is what St. Paul talks about. When St. Paul says, the things I want to do, I don't do, and the things that I don't want to do, I do. That to a modern liberal person, doesn't make any sense, because you do the things you want to do and you don't do the things that you don't want to do. But that's not how human nature works. There are parts of us that are concupiscent that just want to sin, that want some guy to beat him up or want some. For the guys want to do some gross thing with a woman. And the lower part of you can want that, whereas the higher part of you can know I don't really want that. So how do you reconcile those things?

[Sean Dearing]

And so I guess that was kind of what pushed me out the door, is when I realized that this was much darker and wasn't as friendly to the women as I thought. And the relationship that the owner of the company and these ladies had. When I say I wanted to. When I had informed him of some of the actions of one of his men and how. Of this company, I thought it was. And just.

[Michael Knowles]

Just outright unchivalrous. He was.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. And just there were things that this could, like, destroy the company because what he's doing, if these women hire a good lawyer and play this out, this all could come back around. So I was trying, like, hey, you gotta get rid of this guy, because here's what's going on. His response was, it's business. This isn't your business. This is none of your business. And this is business. And then he was like, did you guys exchange numbers? And I was like, dude, yeah, we did. Because there were times she was on her, you know, she wasn't doing so well. And she reached out to me and I had a conversation with her and I was like, I'll give you back any money you want. I'll pay you whatever you want, because she did. You know, we did communicate. He was like, no, no, we're done. I was like, all right, I'm done. I ain't gonna play this game. Once I realized that it was. That's when I realized it was for the company. It was just. It's a business, it's money. So whatever we gotta do to show up, show up more. Even if you gotta degrade these women, put them down, doesn't matter. More business. I wasn't for that.

[Michael Knowles]

Right, right. You would hope that at some point the owner of the agency and the workers would say, well, people aren't commodities to be bought and sold. People are people. But by. But it also sheds light on the freak offs. Cause I can totally understand in principle how the freak off started. Cause it's like any party, it's like the garden of earthly delights. It starts at, wouldn't this be fun if we all. Hey, let's all have a drink? That's fun, right? Having a drink is fun. But you know what's more fun than one drink is two drinks. And you know what's more fun than two drinks, by the way? That part's true. Two drinks is more fun than one drink. And then you know what's more fun than two drinks? Ten drinks. That part's not true. Actually. Ten drinks is less fun than two drinks. But okay. And you know what's fun? What if we had a bunch of our girlfriends here that could be fun. And what if we had like multiple girlfriends here? Well, hold on, that sounds like it's more fun. I mean, you know, 99 problems. And you know, sometimes you get. Sometimes more money is more problems too. I'm learning all these lessons from rappers, but all of a sudden you can very easily see how what started out as like, more. More. More fun. Fun fun becomes hideous, tedious, painful, nauseating, just gross.

[Sean Dearing]

And that's exactly, I mean, not necessarily exact, but that portrays my journey in that industry. It was like in the beginning, seemed very. I'm able to provide a service for these ladies. They get what they want in a sense. They get the time spent with a man without the hassle. Hey, win, win. But as it got more into it and like the more times I spent with Diddy and Cassie, it's like it devolved into. You could just feel the. In a sense, the spirit dark in. And the mood. And it was a lot more orchestrated rather than flow, you know, it was much more dictated than in the early.

[Michael Knowles]

Days, you know, so the, the early performances were more improvised.

[Sean Dearing]

You're saying it seemed, I mean, I don't know how long they had been. I know they'd been seeing other guys prior to me, but it seemed a lot more fluid, you know, early on it seemed cordial. The spirit was softer, it seemed. But, you know, I don't know if that was me coming in with clear eyes in a sense.

[Michael Knowles]

Obviously we've been talking about the male escort world. Is it different for female escorts? Is the experience different? The approach, the business? Do you even know? Would you even know that since obviously you've only been on one side of it?

[Sean Dearing]

The truth is, yeah, I'm fairly clueless. I didn't interact with too many female.

[Michael Knowles]

They didn't work at your company?

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, we didn't work. Even our guys, I didn't see any of the other guys on the team. We didn't hang out much. It just was a straightforward business operation. A sense he tells us time and place and we show up. Yeah, I would like to try to understand it from a woman's perspective, but I haven't had a sit down and chat. But I would like to try to understand it and my assumption would be, you know, especially in that scene in la, seeing like how one thing, I didn't realize, attention was such a drug, you know, and so, wow, that was one thing to witness. I didn't necessarily get that high from attention, but of course it does feel good to be wanted or appreciated by a woman and such. But I'm, you know, I do believe the attention along with the money has a large factor to play for a woman, you know.

[Michael Knowles]

Now all of these experiences you've been describing with Diddy were at. It seems like it was more private. It was just you at their house or the hotel or something. Were you ever at the infamous Freak Offs?

[Sean Dearing]

No, I never attended any of the Freak Offs.

[Michael Knowles]

That's good.

[Sean Dearing]

I, I'm, I'm very great grateful because I, I'm the type too. I. If there's a party, I like to party. But I, I'm also very respectful of my own sexual ways. So, I mean, I'm glad I didn't. It's. Who knows what would happen at a Diddy party. But I never was. Only me, him and her, no bodyguards. None of that, huh?

[Michael Knowles]

Oh, wow.

[Sean Dearing]

No, yeah, it was just us.

[Michael Knowles]

Did you ever. Because I know at the parties he hired female prostitutes too, or at least that was alleged. But there were no female prostitutes involved in your experience?

[Sean Dearing]

Well, yeah. And that's like, wow. I couldn't understand it. I didn't understand how you Know, but the guy said I was much different than their circle, so that's.

[Michael Knowles]

I could see that. I could definitely see that. Wow. So you actually had a closer, more intimate look at their dynamic and his perversity than really just about anybody.

[Sean Dearing]

I can't confirm, but I.

[Michael Knowles]

The guys at the Freak Offs, though, there's like a thousand of them. For you, it's just you, him and her.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

Every time, outside of Diddy, did you. Was it always just these intimate little escort dates? Just one woman, or were you invited to other Hollywood parties? How different was the Diddy experience than the Diddy empire from your run of the mill clients?

[Sean Dearing]

I would say just as far as production goes. So it was like there. So the other dates I'd go out, we'd go see the town, have fun, and then it would end up, you know, at a. At an intimate setting there. It just was always. It was always a production. Every single time was for that scene, that point in time. I was there to do my duty. There was one time I got called at night and then called back again at 6am so I don't. I didn't know what was going on, but I don't know if they had a party in between or what. But I was just.

[Michael Knowles]

Maybe they slept. Possibly got arrested up and then.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah.

[Michael Knowles]

And you just take the call.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. Text or call fee text. You available this hour? This time a listers show up and the payment, you know, I go to the bank, send him his payment and cycle repeats.

[Michael Knowles]

When you say the scene with Diddy and Cassie, it sounds like. And then you say the word dictatorial and you do this. Was it a performance? Like, you know, okay, you're the pizza boy now or something? Or was it a. How directed, how scripted was it?

[Sean Dearing]

Well, I was gonna try to propose that to Diddy one day that we. Cause I'm like, I'm not a white angel, but I'm white and I'm a lot softer than him. So I was gonna try to propose a setting where her and I are having dinner and you know, we get little flirty and he gets to do his thing and watch and then. And he comes in as the demon and control the situation. But we never. I never was able to bring that up or anything because it was all his direction. If every scene was completely controlled and set up by him. So if we tried to introduce anything, it just. Whatever he wanted. More baby oil, you know, candle here. Like hundreds or not hundreds, like 50, 60 candles set up.

[Michael Knowles]

When you say, you use this term, angel and Demon. You mean, like in the scene that you had written for yourself, you would literally play an angel?

[Sean Dearing]

I'm the nice guy. I'm like the soft guy having a fun or a. He's the bad guy and he's the bad guy. Yeah. Coming in and owning the situation. And then. Because that was the scene I had playing out in my head, you know, I'm there taking direction, but I'm, you know, I'm not him. I'm not the one saying, I want this. I want this. So that was kind of the. I was trying to elaborate with him and just grow our situations. There was a time I proposed to her. Hey, just. If you want me to come over, just send a. Send me a word like work or tie or fly, and I'll bring an outfit or something in correlation. We'll have fun. Well, that never really went anywhere. They just called me. All right. Here this time.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah. I take it you spoke to Diddy once. Since when he called you when you were in Hawaii. Have you talked to her at all?

[Sean Dearing]

No, no.

[Michael Knowles]

This is a question from ignorance of pop culture. Are they still dating?

[Sean Dearing]

I don't know.

[Michael Knowles]

I think they're probably broken up, Right? I hope so.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. A long time gone. Yeah. She's got a husband now and some kids.

[Michael Knowles]

Oh.

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. And I do believe it was one of her personal trainers that became her husband. And he was at. I saw a clip where he was at one of the cases and he got walked out or something. I forget. I forget why. But. And that's. I, you know, I wish the absolute best for him, you know, to be able to move on and from. From what she experienced and to have a family. It's. It's a beautiful thing.

[Michael Knowles]

So what about. Because you've got this very nice sort of resilient spirit where you're kind of looking on the bright side and saying, that was a mistake.

[Sean Dearing]

I do a lot. Yeah. I tend to look on the bright side of things.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, but you don't want to paper. You don't want to paper over bad things. You want to learn from your mistakes and go on have that be sanctifying and productive. So if you look back, there's this thread of your people pleaser. Is there anything that led you to become a gigolo that you have corrected so that you get to go in a better direction moving forward?

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah. I'll gauge challenges and opportunities now instead of just jumping head in, I'll have to do. How does this. How. How does this sit spiritually? You know, you could look at The. I could simply look at the Ten Commandments and help me simplify my game plan.

[Michael Knowles]

You're going to church, I take it, or no.

[Sean Dearing]

Devout Christian. But there's. That's a long story behind that one. That's too. I've been out of my church for some time now, but I. I will always love and serve God.

[Michael Knowles]

But you don't want to go to church.

[Sean Dearing]

Long story there. Long story with my home church and the things.

[Michael Knowles]

What about a new church? I can highly recommend the Catholic Church. It's very Latin. Mass is beautiful. Yeah. I could even make your recommendation in Hawaii. They're not on the big island of Hawaii, but I'm sure I could find one. I'm sure I could. Because I'm not just saying this to.

[Sean Dearing]

I'll take advice.

[Michael Knowles]

Because what I fear from your story is you tell me I made these mistakes, but hey, I learned from it and it was better. And I thought it was good at the time, which is an admission that sometimes our judgment gets very clouded. And so you say, but I'm Christian. I felt I was Christian at the time, and I felt I was serving God at the time, but I guess I wasn't. So then you have to ask yourself, well, how do you know if you're serving God now in the way he wants to? And there are certain things you can do that God tells us to do, that Christians have done for 2000 years and that the ancient Israelites did before that, which are. He tells you to go to church, tells you to keep holy the Sabbath day. He gives you ten commandments. He gives you a church before he even gives you a Bible. He gives you a church which creates the canon of the Bible. And the church can guide you. And basically, you don't have to do it all on your own. You can have some help here. You know, there are all these wonderful resources.

[Sean Dearing]

That's why I struggle. I struggle to ask for help. Man. That's one thing is my spirit. I hate to. That's one of my things. I struggle to ask for help.

[Michael Knowles]

But isn't that the very same kind of disordered desire for independence that maybe you saw even in your clients in your old life? The desire to do it all on your own, make your own world all your own. Just have it be all about all you. Even if you want to do good stuff?

[Sean Dearing]

Yes. Yeah. That's a hill I'm trying to climb and overcome. That's one of my pieces of my puzzle I'm looking to figure out. I know I never figure it out. But I know I never figure out.

[Michael Knowles]

No, you might figure it out. And I say it too, because though I've never been a gigolo or invited to any diddy parties or anything like that, but I can sense in myself sometimes a disordered desire for independence. Look, I work in politics and media. There's a desire to control things, do it your way, get your will done. And sometimes I have to correct that and say, oh, maybe that's not.

[Sean Dearing]

See my battle with the church right now is that when during the COVID times I wanted. I thought it was. I did not like closing the doors. I wanted to move in faith. I wanted to be a shining light for those. When fear hits you, we can lean on our faith.

[Michael Knowles]

Oh yeah.

[Sean Dearing]

And how I like I was hoping if it was just my pastor, I wanted to be up there with him. If everyone was afraid to come in, let's open the doors for all who are willing. And how I saw it is like if it's part of our plan to die, God's in control of that, we're not in control of that. And then so see too like from what I had seen in my life, my experience with the media, the doctor, the dean of medicine, I saw that these narratives are used to control us. Yeah, like, you know, like did a little digging on. Oh, why do we have such a. Why do we have such a. In the early days of COVID going into. Why was there such a scare for toilet paper? Oh, because the media saw that they can sensationalize a story when there was a 18 wheeler, I think it was in Milwaukee or something that had overturned. So there was pictures of toilet paper all out on the road. So they sensationalize that take it nationwide to get everyone to be under this control of this fear.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, there was a real promotion of servile fear. And you're right, there were a bunch of churches and religious communities that closed. You know, we. Luckily I was able to keep going to church though. There were Protestant, Catholic, a lot of churches kind of. But even there was a pretty liberal Catholic church in Hollywood that they ended up doing mass outside and you couldn't go inside. They kept the doors open, but they. And there was this probably 90 year old priest who kind of a liberal guy for being a Catholic priest. 90 year old guy. And this guy was hearing confessions through an open door in the bay. He wouldn't stop hearing confessions even though he was the most vulnerable actually to go being an older guy. And he wouldn't. I thought that's exactly the right attitude that's exactly. You have to. You don't want the servile fear that. That of this whole world that you're. This fetid, corrupt world that you're describing. But you do want the holy fear of God.

[Sean Dearing]

Yes.

[Michael Knowles]

Where it's not just about. It's not just about you.

[Sean Dearing]

And that's where I want to have my own personal battles. I respect and love my pastor that he didn't want. He closed the church because he didn't want anyone to get hurt. He was worried of his people around him were getting sick and such. But I don't like that.

[Michael Knowles]

And he shouldn't have closed the church.

[Sean Dearing]

I don't like that.

[Michael Knowles]

You can say he had the best of intentions, but he did wrong. That's no reason not to go to church. Go find a better church.

[Sean Dearing]

You are.

[Michael Knowles]

I can give you some recommendations. Maybe in Hawaii. But that's really wonderful. I mean, it's a virtue that you look on the bright side of things. And if you can pair that with reality, not just a delusional kind of bright side, but if you compare the seeing the good in things while seeing things really as they are, that's a wonderful way forward.

[Sean Dearing]

That's where this journey. In my Christian walk, I struggle to read the Bible because I have adhd. My attention doesn't last very long. I read about two or three pages and I'm almost sleepy. But I would read scriptures of how, in a sense, the doctor. I saw him in a position of respect and adoration where what he says should be true, but when you see what he's really doing, he's a disgusting liar.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, there can be a lot of disillusionment because even with pastors and priests, they can be totally.

[Sean Dearing]

Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry. Where I was going to is as I got deeper into the Word, I would read about the false Pharisees and the false. Those in the church that may use their position and such in order to deceive. Just as like. I take this example too, my worldly vision of Satan, this big orange, ugly demon. Ah, scary guy horns.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Sean Dearing]

Orange horn. No. Satan is the most beautiful angel our eyes can see. He is the most gracious sounding. He's tempting, very tempting. And that is the tool right there, is the deception.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah, that's true. You know, there was an ancient heresy called. Is that Docetism? I think it was Docetism which said that the efficacy of the church's sacraments depended on the sanctity of the priest. So if the priest were a bad guy, you know, if you got baptized by a bad guy, well, maybe your baptism isn't valid. And happily that was rejected as heresy because God is bigger than the men who run the church. So you could be baptized by some total degenerate who's. I don't know, who's maybe hiring guys like you used to be. But God's sacraments still work. Yep.

[Sean Dearing]

And God. And that's where I struggle is I know that God knows the true intentions of the heart and such. I don't. And so in those situations where I may assume. Because there are times where people at our church were telling us to wear masks and do these things. And I saw that as. That's the mark of the beast.

[Michael Knowles]

Yeah.

[Sean Dearing]

That way we just don't like. You don't see. How can you not see it? You're not getting 666 on your forehead. But you are succumbing to the fears of nonsense.

[Michael Knowles]

If you're doing something that's totally irrational, that's not actually helping public health. It's just a fear symbol then. Yeah, you're probably right about that. I also want to correct myself. I don't think it's the docetists. I think it's the Donatists. But either way it's an old heresy and it isn't true and we got rid of it. That's. It's good that even in the depths of your sin you were recognizing God is still there. But of course then you gotta do something about it as you're doing it.

[Sean Dearing]

Get to action instead of just talk about it and say it. Yeah, you gotta get to action. And this is why I. This is one of the reasons I haven't attended. I haven't been to my church in so many years that my. I don't want to go in and turn tables. But I. That's Jesus.

[Michael Knowles]

You don't need to be in control. Go to a. Maybe just go to a different church. At least at first. Maybe you can go back to your old church. But you don't need to save the world. God already saved the world.

[Sean Dearing]

That's a key right there.

[Michael Knowles]

Christ already saved the world.

[Sean Dearing]

That's key right there. It's like many times I always want what's best, but I can't make every situation best.

[Michael Knowles]

You can cooperate with God's grace. So then on this point, maybe this is a good point to end. You've come out of this very degenerate lifestyle and you're moving in the right direction and so you haven't talked to. Diddy in a while. You haven't talked to Cassie in even longer. Do you have any advice? They might watch us interview. Do you have any advice for them?

[Sean Dearing]

The only two words for Diddy is find Jesus. There's no other, in my opinion. There's nothing else in this world that can satisfy him. There's no conceivable on that path. Like, it's no end to his path. Find Jesus. And to Cassie, I hope to shake her hand again one day and thank her for, you know, her professionalism through our time together. And she's a. I look up to her. I admire her, you know, even though. Even through all that, like, it's. Yeah. I got lots of respect for her, and I wish the absolute best that she's going to be in my prayers, you know, I don't love her like a lover, but I love her as a fellow child of God, you know?

[Michael Knowles]

And you're wishing the best for Diddy, too? Oh, clearly.

[Sean Dearing]

I want him to have true justice. I mean, I want him to have pure justice. I want him to have justice for his actions. But I want. I mean, that's the thing, too. Like, I do want to party with every soul up there in heaven, you.

[Michael Knowles]

Know, like the real white party, the.

[Sean Dearing]

Good kind of one, that. And, you know, like, I don't want to proclaim that Diddy's gone. That's a demon that has no. There's no reconciliation. But God's greater than my thoughts, you know, God's greater than what I see possible. And if some degenerate like that can bow before Christ, he could lead many. So I'll have faith instead of, you know, instead of just counting it off. But absolutely. I mean, I want him to have the purest form of justice times 10. I'm an eye for an eye kind of guy. You do something to others, you deserve that upon yourself, plus much worse.

[Michael Knowles]

But in the course of justice, none of us should see salvation. So you're hoping for salvation, too?

[Sean Dearing]

Yeah, and that's with salvation. God, he's the true order of justice.

[Michael Knowles]

So, Sean, thank you very much.

[Sean Dearing]

It's been a pleasure, Michael, thank you.