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Michael Knowles
It only happens once a year. When it's gone, it's gone. Go to dailywire.com subscribe and join now. Thanksgiving is upon us. The Conversations are here. Every year the libs issue potential family.
Stephanie
Drama that might show up around the Thanksgiving dinner table.
Michael Knowles
Here's the guide to talk to your awful right wing relatives.
Stephanie
It's incumbent upon her to try to.
Michael Knowles
Educate her mother and you're gonna have to respond. We're about to have some very uncomfortable conversations. I'm a big supporter of keeping the peace with the family and having a nice dinner and not I'm going to.
Uncle Bob
Head through the window.
Michael Knowles
How do you handle the political topics when they come up. There are, by my count, three kinds of characters who are gonna bring the topics up. You're gonna get the innocent questions. That's from your little niece or nephew. Hey, I heard this thing. And, hey, what do you think about. And that's one approach. Then there's gonna be your lesbian cousin, the one with the crazy hair and the septum piercing. And that's a different approach. And then we get. There's sometimes there is the unhinged uncle. It's our favorite character at all Thanksgivings. So we're gonna go through a series of topics, and I'm gonna give you pearls of wisdom as to how to address these topics with each of the three Thanksgiving dinner characters.
Johnny/Timmy/Jimmy (Child Characters)
My teacher says the Palestinians are just trying to live, and the Israelis keep bombing. Kids, I don't get why America helps them.
Michael Knowles
What's his name is Timmy or Johnny? Timmy. Okay, that's really interesting, Timmy. You see, Timmy, there's this place called the Middle east, and it's a place that you should not really concern yourself with until you're much older and maybe go on pilgrimage to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. But it's this place. There's a lot of turmoil there. And there are these people called the Jews. And the Jews, they were in this area, and then they went away for like 1800 years. And then they came back. And sometimes they advance our interests, so we like that. But sometimes they cut against our interests. And it's kind of annoying, but they're still sort of our allies. And so anyway, generally they're a lot more civilized than these other people who are called the Muslims. And the Muslims invaded that area in the 8th century, and they've been warring with our civilization, which is called Christendom, ever since. And anyway, Johnny, it's really complicated, so eat your turkey. Okay, Lesbian cousin, what's your take?
Stephanie
Israel is literally committing genocide, and the US Is funding it with our taxes. If you still have a nuanced take, you're complicit.
Michael Knowles
Okay, that's really interesting. I myself have a complex view of the Israel Palestine conflict. Stephanie. Or what? I don't know what my cousin's name is, but the fact that you are so ardently on the Palestine side actually impels me to. To be more pro Israel. Not because of any substantive fact of the issue, but simply because you're on that side. However, in charity, Stephanie, I think it's important to be precise about our terms, because genocide is when you wipe out a whole group of people. And the Israelis haven't done that. Though they were a little heavy handed in the war. I'm happy to grant you, Stephanie. But it's also worth pointing out that if the Israelis actually wanted to commit a genocide, they probably just would have already. And even in the Bible they like almost committed genocide cause they're told to, but then they don't. And that leads to a lot of their problems. Cause they didn't. And anyway, I think that term is probably overstating it. What they have suggested they would like to do is ethnically cleanse the area in as much as they would remove Palestinians while they rebuilt Gaza. But let's not forget, Stephanie, that the Palestinians in Gaza not only wanna ethnically cleanse the rest of the nation state of Israel, but they also explicitly do call for genocide. So I grant to you, Stephanie, and it's a really complicated problem, which is why we need to return to questions of what justice in war looks like. And here we can turn to St. Thomas Aquinas, he's really great. And point out that obviously the state of Israel had a just cause in going to war because the Palestinian Muslims from Gaza launched an attack on them a couple years ago on October 7th and killed a lot of them and took a lot of them hostage. And they held those hostages and killed a lot of the hostages too. And so there was obviously justice for the state of Israel in going to war. And then the conduct, the conduct of the war did raise some questions about the justice in the war itself. But now the war has come to an end. And so if you value the rights of the Palestinians, the legitimate rights of Palestinians, as I do, Stephanie, that's a point of agreement, then I think we would all have to agree that President Trump's ability to finally wrap up that war in a way that did not grant all of the desires of the State of Israel and also preserved some of the integrity of the Palestinian people was really great. So cheers to Trump. Right? Okay, unhinged uncle.
Uncle Bob
I don't know why we should care about any of these sand people anyway. They're just distracting from all the seed oils they're putting in the chemtrails.
Michael Knowles
Look, we care a little bit because America is an empire and we have interests overseas. But like, otherwise. Yeah, man, I hate those seed oils in the chemtrails. Don't tell our lesbian cousin. Maybe the seed oils are how she ended up that way. Okay, next one.
Johnny/Timmy/Jimmy (Child Characters)
My friend at school came out as non binary and I think they're brave. We should all just be ourselves.
Michael Knowles
That's really nice, Jimmy. And you're. I keep changing your name. You're a sweet kid. You know, and we all want to be nice to our friends, but then we have to ask this question. How can we be nice to our friends? Is it nice to lie to people, Jimmy? No, it's not nice. Okay, Yeah, I don't think it's nice to lie to people. I think it's nice to tell people the truth in love. Not just be totally harsh and brutal about the truth, but tell them the truth in a loving way. And the truth is that you can't be the opposite sex. A boy, Jimmy. I don't know what your teacher told you. A boy can't really be a girl. Don't even go down this road because I'm not talking about it. And you can't be neither a boy nor a girl. We're all born with a nature and part of our nature is our sex. So that's total nonsense, Jimmy. It just makes you feel better about yourself. And I'm thinking about giving your mother and father some money so that they can send you to private school. Or better yet, to homeschool. Next one.
Stephanie
If you don't want to be with a trans woman, then that's a you problem, Michael.
Michael Knowles
I think that's a me solution, Stephanie. I think that's a me solution. And I think that's a solution for everyone. I don't think you wanna. I don't think anyone really wants that unless they hate their dads. Stephanie, you hate your dad. And we need to confront the real issue here, Stephanie, which is that you hate your dad cuz he worked too much when you were a kid and he cheated on your mom that time. And I'm not excusing that that was bad that he did that. Okay, but you are working through issues that are completely divorced from the radical political solutions. Is this too real for you, Stephanie? We're having a conversation that's a little too real. Then how about you shut up and don't ruin Thanksgiving, Stephanie. All right, maybe that wasn't the best. Wait, next one.
Uncle Bob
Would you rather be with the hottest ladyboy in Thailand or one of these American land whale females? Seriously, think about it.
Michael Knowles
Well, Uncle Bob, I get it. You know, with plastic surgery these days, they can do wonders. But I would say probably in the long run, it's better to be with the real woman and get married. You know? And I don't. I defer to your expertise and experience, Uncle Bob. But I don't want the lady boys. I think we can agree to. We can respectfully agree to Disagree, go to catholicmatch.com you know what gives me hope? Even when our culture seems to be spiraling at times. Faith filled families, raising kids who can turn things around. Here's the thing that cannot happen if faithful Catholics are not getting married and having babies. I keep hearing from young people about how genuinely difficult it is to find other serious Catholics today. Well, there's no magic solution here, but I've gotten to know the team at Catholic Match and I can tell you they're doing something different. They are focused on sacramental marriage. Not hookups, not endless swiping actual marriage. They are the largest and most trusted Catholic dating app out there. They've built real tools to help people make meaningful connections. Their profiles go deep into what actually matters. Your where you stand on important stuff. Liturgical preference may be the traditional Latin Mass. I would recommend they offer live events for premium members so you can connect in person, not just through a screen. It's really, really important. If the apps dominate the dating scene, you gotta do it the right way. If you're looking or if you've tried it before and you gave up and you just don't think it can work out, hey, God's providence might just surprise you. Download the app right now or head to catholicmatch.com and find your Forever.
Johnny/Timmy/Jimmy (Child Characters)
My friend said Thanksgiving started after the Pilgrims took native people's land. So why do we celebrate it? Thanksgiving is a very important holiday. Ours was the first country in the world to make a national holiday to give thanks.
Michael Knowles
We celebrate it, Johnny, because it's our country and it's our people. And Johnny, you love your family, don't you? Yeah. You haven't been ruined yet by the public schools and by the way, perfidy of your parents. No, you love your family. And we, we want to love everybody, but we love our own families more than than we love other people or in a more urgent way. This is the Ordo Amores, Johnny. It's called the Ordo Caritatis. And so we love our country because it is our country. And people who hate our country, not only do they hate us just because they view us as an enemy, but sometimes they lie about us. And so what you've been told is not true. Actually in the early days, Johnny, when your family came over here on the Mayflower, which is a great cigar brand actually, they created alliances with some of the native people and our ancestors and some of the natives actually warred against other native people. And history is really complicated and it's full of all sorts of alliances. And when we did come to blows because of a war that the Indians started called King Philip's War, we ended up winning, and we built a great country that's been really, really good to a lot of people. And we should be thankful for that. That's what we're celebrating today.
Stephanie
The Pilgrims weren't heroes. They were colonizers who brought death and disease. It's literally a holiday celebrating genocide.
Michael Knowles
Stephanie, when did the Pilgrims commit a genocide? When did they do that? Was it before they created an alliance with Massasoit and helped to build up the Wampanoag nation? When did they do it? Did they do it when they. When they were being threatened by the Massachusetts Indians who wanted to commit a genocide against them? When did they do it? What year would you say, Stephanie? You don't know. You don't know, Stephanie, because you don't know anything about the history, do you? No. You like to talk, talk, talk, yap, yap, yap. Spoil dinner for your grandmother who might not be here next Thanksgiving, Stephanie, but. But you don't know anything. You haven't learned a damn thing in your entire life, Stephanie. So zip your mouth and eat your stuffing. I'm having trouble. I'm gonna just. This is. I'm breaking. I'm having a little bit of trouble with. But sometimes with the Stephanie's of the world, you're not gonna be able to persuade them in the moment. So you have to either coax them into zipping that little trap or you have to scare them into it. Next one.
Uncle Bob
The Indians weren't even the first ones here. Ancient Phoenicians sailed to America before Squanto ever traded his first wampum.
Michael Knowles
It's really interesting, Uncle Bob. When did they do that? After they left to go Blacki Tepe or did they. Obviously they did that after the panspermia brought life from Mars and planet Zebulon 7. Tell me more about that. Uncle Bob, this narrative that you're spinning for me is a welcome break. A delightful little digression from Stephanie's incessant yapping. Next one.
Johnny/Timmy/Jimmy (Child Characters)
I think it's mean when old people try to tell girls what to do with their bodies. It's her choice.
Michael Knowles
Well, people do have choices, Johnny, but some choices are good and some choices are bad. And some choices are so bad that we actually prescribe it by the law. So do you think, Johnny, that someone should be able to go, I don't know, like a crazy killer should be able to go out and just Start chopping people up when they're lying in their beds at night, Johnny. Because it's his choice. No, obviously not. Just come into your room when you think you're all tucked in all safe and sound and come in and cut your head off. No, Johnny, obviously not. So we have laws against murder. We have all sorts of laws in this country. Laws against tax evasion, laws against, I don't know, jaywalking. And in the case of abortion, Johnny, I don't want, you know, I don't. I don't know how much you know about it, but that's a really, really bad choice. And Johnny, if abortion were taken to its logical conclusion, you wouldn't even exist. You wouldn't even be here. And you like being here, right? You think it's fun to be here at Thanksgiving with your uncle Michael? Don't you think that everyone ought to have the opportunity to be here and eat a nice big turkey leg, nice piece of pumpkin pie? Yeah. So everyone has choices, but some choices are so bad you gotta tell them not to do them. And that's just what politics is. That's just what government exists to do to protect people and to make sure you get your piece of pumpkin pie. Yeah. Okay, Stephanie, what's up?
Stephanie
Abortion bans are just state sponsored misogyny. If men got pregnant, there'd be abortion clinics inside every Home Depot.
Michael Knowles
Oh, Stephanie, I'll tell you what I'm gonna try. I know we've had some bad interactions at this Thanksgiving, Stephanie, but did you know, I'm just gonna try to. Did you know that just recently a woman was murdered because she refused to have an abortion? She found out she was sleeping with a guy who had a live in girlfriend. And I forget the guy's name, I forget even where it was. And the guy, he's been arrested since because he was stupid enough to text his friend and say that this girl who refused to get an abortion and he was gonna go meet her in a parking lot and literally crop her out. That was the phrase he used, crop her out. And he went over and he murdered her. And a lot of women are pressured into having abortions that they don't to have. In some cases, they're beaten or killed if they refuse to have an abortion throughout the world. But even in America and women who do have abortions face very, very serious trauma for the rest of their lives because they have a moral conscience. And so the primary reason, Stephanie, to stop abortion is because abortion kills innocent life, you know, innocent babies. And we can have that conversation Some other time, Stephanie. But a secondary reason is that abortion is very bad for women. And it leads women into sin and to scandal and often into horrific trauma, and sometimes it kills them. And abortion mills are heavily unregulated. Women can die at abortion mills, notably at the Gosnell Clinic, Cesare Santangelo, some of the worst killers in American history. So if you're a real defender of women, you would want to stop abortion, too. And I'm really glad that I stopped drinking a little while ago, Stephanie, because I feel like this is a much more productive conversation than some of the earlier things we've been talking about. Now, can you please shut up in each turkey, please? Yes, Uncle.
Uncle Bob
Abortion was just a scam to get rid of minorities. Now it's all about adrenochrome.
Michael Knowles
Yeah, I mean, the first part is largely true. And the second part, I mean, look, Uncle Bob, I don't know about adrenochrome and stuff, but I do know that they were literally putting chemicals in the water that turned the frogs gay. So, like, yeah, maybe it's at least demonic.
Johnny/Timmy/Jimmy (Child Characters)
People just want to live somewhere safe. Why can't America help instead of kicking them out?
Michael Knowles
Oh, that's a great point, Johnny. You're right. In some cases, though, it's a very, very small percentage of the number of illegal immigrants. In some cases, people are seeking refuge from violence or terrible political situations. But that's not the people in America. Because when illegal aliens flee from countries way down in Central and South America, if they were just seeking political refuge, just safety, they could stop in any of the countries along the way. The reason they come to America is to take jobs from Americans and to exploit our successful economic system and our welfare system. And when they come through, they do so necessarily with the help of criminal cartels and who are actually foreign terrorists. They're formally designated foreign terrorists, and they bring all sorts of terrible stuff into the country and do harm to us. And at a really basic level, Johnny, nations are defined by their borders. That's what delineates them. And so I agree with you. We gotta be really nice to sojourners and foreigners who come passing through. And we want to help everybody, but we can't do so in a suicidal way that would destroy our own country.
Stephanie
Yes, Stephanie, ICE is a terrorist organization. Families are being ripped apart because of racist laws. This isn't security. It's cruelty.
Michael Knowles
Yeah, Stephanie, I can't help but notice that you look. You don't look like you came off the Mayflower, Stephanie. And I know you know Obviously, your father's from a different culture, and I just. Just one second. Stephanie. Yes, could you. Hello, this is Michael Knowles. Could you put me through to Mr. Homan, please? It's urgent. Yeah, yeah, hey, Tom, you can geo track my phone? Yeah. Okay. You're gonna need to come here fast. You're gonna need to come here before dessert. I got. I got one for you. I got one for you. That, and I want this one to be sent to Tanzania. Happy Thanksgiving.
Uncle Bob
Stephanie, this deportation plan is way too weak. If we really want to fix the problem, we need to remove all the tiny hats and basketball people.
Michael Knowles
You know, Uncle Bob, that's. I guess, one thing I would point out. I hear you. Okay? And I really like those euphemisms for the Jews and the blacks. However, I think there's a little bit of a difference, because, you see, when we're talking about Venezuelans or something who have come here illegally, who don't speak English, who have not assimilated to the culture in any way. A lot of them have come here very recently. They have not assimilated in any way to American culture, really participated into it. Whereas when it comes to the tiny hats, as you say, they've been here really since the beginning. George Washington wrote a famous letter to the Hebrew congregation describing their place in America. When it comes to black people, obviously, they're brought over largely on slave ships. So there have been plenty of black immigrants since then. So they're much more embedded into the fabric of American society, going back basically to the beginning. And so it would seem unjust to just lift people out whose ancestors have been in the country for hundreds of years. Whereas when it comes to the cartel assisted unassimilated peasants from Latin America, many of whom are involved in criminal activity, it would be more urgent to get them out, I think. But I do really appreciate, especially your euphemism about basketball playing Americans. Next one.
Uncle Bob
Michael Knowles is an absolute shoppas goy. He will literally dance for shekels.
Michael Knowles
Happy Hanukkah. All right, that's. That's all of our. Oh, oh. There's one more comment from Stephanie.
Stephanie
Michael, I swear, if you tell Grandma I've been sneaking off to the garage to hit my vape, I'll put zin powder in your mashed potatoes.
Michael Knowles
Don't threaten me with a good time stepping. Don't you threaten me. Did Christmas come early? I don't think this was helpful to anyone. Happy Thanksgiving.
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Podcast Summary: The Michael Knowles Show
Episode: "What Do You Think About Israel?" What To Say: At Thanksgiving
Date: November 22, 2025
Host: Michael Knowles (The Daily Wire)
This episode of The Michael Knowles Show offers listeners a satirical and combative guide on handling heated political and cultural debates at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Michael Knowles caricatures several types of relatives—curious children, left-wing “lesbian cousin Stephanie,” and conspiracy-minded “Uncle Bob”—to model how a conservative might respond to predictable progressive talking points on hot-button topics: Israel and Palestine, gender identity, Thanksgiving’s origins, abortion, immigration, and more. The tone is irreverent, biting, and intentionally provocative, blending tongue-in-cheek humor with moments of pointed commentary.
“I'm a big supporter of keeping the peace with the family and having a nice dinner… But how do you handle the political topics when they come up?” — Michael Knowles (02:43)
"It's really complicated, so eat your turkey." — Michael Knowles (04:26)
“Genocide is when you wipe out a whole group of people. And the Israelis haven’t done that… if the Israelis actually wanted to commit a genocide, they probably just would have already.” — Michael Knowles (05:25) “So cheers to Trump. Right?” — Michael Knowles (07:08)
"Yeah, man, I hate those seed oils in the chemtrails. Don't tell our lesbian cousin. Maybe the seed oils are how she ended up that way." — Michael Knowles (07:25)
"We all want to be nice to our friends, but then we have to ask... is it nice to lie to people, Jimmy? No, it's not nice." — Michael Knowles (08:00)
"You are working through issues that are completely divorced from the radical political solutions. Is this too real for you, Stephanie?" — Michael Knowles (09:10)
"Probably in the long run, it's better to be with the real woman and get married." — Michael Knowles (09:52)
"We celebrate it, Johnny, because it's our country and it's our people... We love our country because it is our country." — Michael Knowles (11:42)
"You haven't learned a damn thing in your entire life, Stephanie. So zip your mouth and eat your stuffing." — Michael Knowles (13:18)
"This narrative that you're spinning for me is a welcome break. A delightful little digression from Stephanie's incessant yapping." — Michael Knowles (14:28)
"Some choices are so bad that we actually prescribe it by the law... If abortion were taken to its logical conclusion, you wouldn’t even exist." — Michael Knowles (15:01)
"The primary reason, Stephanie, to stop abortion is because abortion kills innocent life... a secondary reason is that abortion is very bad for women." — Michael Knowles (16:54)
"…they were literally putting chemicals in the water that turned the frogs gay. So, like, yeah, maybe it's at least demonic." — Michael Knowles (18:29)
"Nations are defined by their borders... we want to help everybody, but we can't do so in a suicidal way that would destroy our own country." — Michael Knowles (19:46)
"You're gonna need to come here before dessert. I got one for you... I want this one to be sent to Tanzania. Happy Thanksgiving." — Michael Knowles (20:23)
"Whereas when it comes to the cartel assisted unassimilated peasants from Latin America... it would be more urgent to get them out, I think." — Michael Knowles (22:13)
Transgender Issues:
Stephanie: “If you don't want to be with a trans woman, that's a you problem, Michael.”
Knowles: “I think that's a me solution, Stephanie. I think that's a me solution. And I think that's a solution for everyone.” (08:56)
Holiday Finale:
Stephanie: “If you tell Grandma I've been sneaking off to the garage to hit my vape, I'll put zin powder in your mashed potatoes.”
Knowles: “Don't threaten me with a good time... Did Christmas come early?” (23:01)
In typical Michael Knowles fashion, the episode is a parody-laced user’s manual for defending conservative views in the face of progressive family members over the holidays. The humor is sharp, the boundaries deliberately pushed, and the underlying message is to be both unflappable and unapologetically direct—even flippant—in expressing right-wing views, regardless of the setting.
Note: Due to the satirical and intentionally provocative nature of the episode, listeners should be aware that much of the commentary is hyperbolic and meant to entertain as well as to instruct.