Podcast Summary

The Millionaire Real Estate Agent Podcast, Ep. 110

“Build Relationships That Grow a Million-Dollar Business” with Selena Soo
Host: Jason Abrams (Keller Podcast Network)
Date: November 24, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode delves into the art and science of building “rich relationships” to create a lucrative, fulfilling real estate business. Host Jason Abrams talks with Selena Soo—relationship marketing strategist and author of Rich Relationships: Create a Million Dollar Network for Your Business—about actionable strategies agents can use to grow, nurture, and activate a network that results in both business success and personal fulfillment. Selena offers particular insight for introverts or those daunted by networking, emphasizing it’s about quality, not quantity, of connections.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Relationships Trump Everything in Business

• Selena’s Philosophy: Relationships are the fastest way to get from where you are to where you want to be. It’s about knowing who can help, not just how to solve a problem ([02:15]).
• Takeaway for Agents: Your network can propel you past obstacles and towards your big goals—if you approach it with intention.

2. Defining ‘Rich Relationships’

• Three Essential Components ([03:58]):

  1. Relationships with people who genuinely want to see you win and will help you reach your big goals.
  2. Connections that help create financial abundance, whether as mentors, referral partners, or supportive confidants.
  3. Relationships that inspire you to become the best version of yourself.

• Quote:
  "A rich relationship is one that massively enriches the quality of your business and life." — Selena ([03:58])

• Key Distinction: Not all connections are “rich” even if they are powerful or long-standing; choose those who expand and energize you.

3. The Three-Part Framework: Build, Nurture, Activate

• Build:

  • Get clear on your personal and business goals.
  • Identify types of relationships that matter based on your stage—mentor, promoter, super connector, gatekeeper, confidant ([06:00]-[07:28]).
  • Tip for Top Agents: Focus on super connectors, gatekeepers, and promoters for next-level opportunities.
  • Quote:
    "You have to be clear on your goals... If people don't have internal clarity, they will never receive the riches from their network." — Selena ([06:00])

• Nurture:

  • Stay “in sight” to remain “in mind”—avoid only contacting people when you need something ([07:50]).
  • Two simple strategies:
    • Pinging: Light, low-touch check-ins—texts, updates, resources, or group newsletters ([09:16]).
    • Gatherings: Host events (small dinners to conferences) to connect multiple people at once and introduce valuable contacts ([10:11]).
  • Three Gathering Rules:
    1. Secure “anchor names” (high-profile guests).
    2. Consider co-hosting to expand reach.
    3. Good food and environment are essential ([10:20]).
  • Quote:
    “One rich relationship is more valuable than a hundred casual connections.” — Selena ([11:25])

• Activate:

  • Let your network know how they can help—don’t be afraid to ask for support ([14:39]).
  • Understand and trust in the “helper’s high”; people like to help if asked appropriately and at the right time ([14:39]-[16:43]).
  • Specific asks can deepen rather than weaken relationships (advice, feedback, collaboration—step beyond just asking for referrals).

4. Making Your ‘Ask’ the Right Way

• Give generously first and consistently, well before making requests; avoid being transactional or coming across as “asky” too soon ([24:17]).

• Be aware of the relationship’s level before requesting favors or referrals ([24:39]).

• Checklist to assess readiness to ask:

  1. Relationship is well established.
  2. You have added value over time with no strings attached ([24:39]-[24:58]).

• Quote:
  "Three types of giving: Indiscriminate, transactional, and rich giving. Rich giving is intentional, abundant, and with no strings attached." — Selena ([25:00])

5. The Impact of Genuine Generosity

• Breathtaking Generosity: Two types:
  • Be a “pain detective”—show up first in times of distress or hardship (natural disasters, relationship turmoil, financial stress) ([27:03]).
  • Be a “dream amplifier”—help people pursue their goals and celebrate their wins ([28:55]-[29:23]).
• Generosity Fund:
  • Set aside a portion of business profits (even 2-5%) specifically to invest in meaningful gestures—gifts, donations, experiences ([30:59]).
  • Quote:
    “Be the first to show up, not the last, when someone in your network is in pain or has a big moment.” — Selena ([27:03])

6. Tactical Ways to Express Appreciation and Support ([17:51]-[22:07])

A non-exhaustive list, with personal or relational impact in mind:

• Express gratitude privately (text, DM, handwritten note).
• Express gratitude publicly (social media, newsletter, on-stage).
• Send a thoughtful gift—personal and specific, not generic.
  • “I love sending restaurant gift cards—everyone needs to eat.” — Selena ([19:45])
• Promote their causes or products/services.
• Be their client, send them referrals.
• Connect them to trusted resources.
• Help important people in their lives.

7. How Real Estate Agents Can Supercharge Their Database

• Move beyond mass email updates; personalize and bring people physically or virtually together ([32:30]).
• Segment your database by needs/interests, and deliver relevant resources post-event ([35:13]).
• Consistency matters:
  “She just continually poured into the relationship. And now that it’s time for me to rent a place, of course I want to go with her.” — Selena ([33:37])

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “One rich relationship is more valuable than a hundred casual connections.” — Selena ([11:25])
• "It’s not the number of contacts you make; it’s the depth of the connection you have." — Jason ([12:11])
• "Activate is actually letting your rich relationships know how they can help you and leaning on them for support." — Selena ([14:39])
• "Be the first to show up, not the last, when someone in your network is in pain or has a big moment." — Selena ([27:03])
• “The generosity fund is so smart, because if you don’t have that money set aside, you agonize over, should I do it?” — Jason ([30:59])
• "By having those folks there, other people sense you’re a winner." — Jason ([13:23])

Essential Timestamps

• [02:15] Selena describes how she became a relationship marketing expert and how introverts can win at networking.
• [03:58] The “Rich Relationship” framework and characteristics.
• [06:00] The 3-part model: Build, Nurture, Activate.
• [09:16] Practical ways to nurture: “Pinging” and group updates.
• [10:11] How and why to host gatherings; making them memorable.
• [11:25] The power of depth over quantity in relationships.
• [14:39] Understanding “activation”—the art of asking for help.
• [17:51] Tactical (lightning round) ways to show appreciation.
• [24:39] Building a relationship before making the “ask.”
• [27:03] The “breathtaking generosity” concept: pain detection and dream amplification.
• [30:59] Setting up a “generosity fund” as an annual budget item for networking.
• [33:08] How to reinvigorate a large, stale database—practical agent playbook.
• [35:13] Segmenting clients and providing relevant, scalable value.

Actionable Takeaways for Agents

• Audit Your Network: Identify those who genuinely want to see you win, who create abundance, and who inspire you.
• Get Crystal Clear on Your Goals: Your relationship-building strategy should hinge on your next big objectives.
• Nurture with Intent: Commit to regular, light (“pinging”) and deep (gatherings, thoughtful gifts) outreach.
• Segment and Personalize: Tag your “VIPs” and devise ways to deepen those specific connections.
• Practice Breathtaking Generosity: Be first to show up in times of need or celebration—emotionally, with resources, or with your time.
• Ask Thoughtfully: Wait until your giving is evident and the relationship feels mutual; then diversify your asks (not just referrals!).
• Set Up a Generosity Fund: Proactively budget for meaningful gestures that reinforce true connection.

Closing Thought

Selena Soo and Jason Abrams agree: real estate is a relationship business, and success comes not from relentless prospecting, but by fostering “rich relationships.” Quality, relevance, generosity, and consistent follow-through will set you apart in a world awash with transactional noise.

For more from Selena Soo:

• Grab the first four chapters of Rich Relationships free at Rich Relations Keller Williams ([35:52]).