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The Millionaire Real Estate Agent | The MREA Podcast
110. Build Relationships That Grow a Million-Dollar Business with Selena Soo
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Foreign.
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Welcome back to another episode of the Millionaire Real Estate Agent podcast. I'm Jason Abrams and this is the place where we lift the curtain on the world of real estate like never before. Every week I sit down with visionaries, pirates and mavericks. We're here to document, demonstrate, and most importantly, demystify their game changing models and systems. What secrets propel them to the top and how are they living their dreams? This is about passion. It's about strategy. But above all, it's about real, tangible success. So buckle up and let's dive in. This is the Millionaire Real Estate Agent podcast. Jason, I'd like to have richer relationships and make at least a million dollars a year. What do I do next? Friends, it's a question I get all the time and I have the answer. I found it reading this book right here. It's called Rich Relationships Create a million dollar network for your business. This thing became a USA Today bestseller and it was written by a friend of mine named Selena Su. Today we are going to unpack this in detail. Selena's going to tell us exactly how do you build, nurture and activate the relationships that you need to make at least $1 million. Sit back, buckle up. This is Selena Su. Selina, how are you?
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I'm good. Thank you so much for having me.
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Jason, it is an honor to have you. So I just to set the stage here, fell in love with your book, Rich Relationships. I think it's very, very good. And the first question I want to ask you, I ask everyone, you know, how did you end up in the greatest industry in the world? And of course I'm talking about the real estate business, but ultimately that's a relationship business and you are a relationship expert. So how did you end up getting fascinated with this concept to write this book?
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Yeah, absolutely, Jason. So I just realized early on that relationships are the fastest way to get from where you are to where you want to be. No matter what your dream is, there is someone who can help you get there faster. And when you have problem, it's not always knowing how do I solve the problem, but it's who do I need to know? And so I changed a lot of things in my online business. I've had my business for 13 years. At one point I had a signature program called Impacting millions to help entrepreneurs get media. And even though I'm someone that identifies as introverted and even at, you know, certain points, like shy, I was able to build a pretty big business. We had consistent seven figure launches every time I released my, you know, Information product, my group program. And I was able to rally 200 partners to promote what I was doing. And so for a lot of people, it's hard to even get one person to be an affiliate partner or referral partner. But I was able to do it at scale, but in a way that didn't feel transactional. But I was like bringing people along for the journey. And so I just saw that I actually had this skill set in building, nurturing, and activating rich relationships that a lot of people didn't have. And so I wanted to really teach people my framework. And for them to know, even if they're super busy, you know, even if they are a single mom, even if they've got like a crazy, you know, just like constantly busy career, even if they're an introvert, they can absolutely do all these things and unlock so much more abundance for themselves and the people around them.
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I love that. So the title of the book is Rich relationships create a million dollar network for your business. So let's start at the very beginning. What is a rich relationship? On page 24, you kind of go into this framework. Walk me through how you think about it.
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Yeah, absolutely. So a rich relationship is one that massively enriches the quality of your business and life. So it's not any relationship. It's one that really creates more richness. So there's three different parts to it. So one, your rich relationships are with people who want to see you win, right? They want the best for you, and they can help you reach your goals and dreams faster. So directly connected to those big goals and dreams you have. And then second, your rich relationships create financial abundance for you. When you're around them, you feel. Feel expansive, you feel energized, and they help you be more successful in business. Right? And there's different ways to do that. It could be somebody that refers business to you, it could be a mentor, it could even be a confidant who supports you through the ups and downs and helps you get your confidence back to go out there. But it does create more abundance in your business. And then last but not least, rich relationships inspire you to become the best version of yourself. Right? So you're playing bigger because you have these people around you. And if you have people in your life who maybe they've been a lot around for a long time, but they're not so supportive of you, or you don't feel safe or good in their presence, that would not be a rich relationship. No matter how powerful or successful they are. It could be rich in the lessons, but we really want to surround ourselves with supportive people that actually care about helping us reach our goals and dreams faster.
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Well, so that's what I loved about it. Because when I think about what I want in my life, when it comes to people, and you think about this again. So people that you want to have a win win relationship with, people that give financial abundance and people that inspire you and people that want the best for you. Like who? Who wouldn't want more of those?
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Right? Yes.
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That's what I was taken with. So, gang, you know what time it is? We're about to unpack the model on how do you go and build those relationships so you don't have to take the notes? I'm taking the notes. The notes come out every Thursday. They get emailed you. It's a PDF. If you don't get them, go to mreanotes.com that's mreanotes.com and sign up so you will get them. Okay, Selena, I want you to tell us exactly how to build rich relationships.
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A
Yes. So there's three parts to creating your rich network. So it's build, nurture and activate. So phase one, build is getting really clear about who are the people that you want in your rich network. And the number one thing is you have to be clear on your goals. Because, Jason, I don't know if you've ever been in this situation where you talk to someone and you're like, hey, what are you working on? Or how can I support you? What's coming up for you? And the person's like, I don't know or let me get back to you. And they never do. Right. And so you are someone that wants to give and support other people, but when people don't have that internal clarity and additionally cannot express what they need and want, then they're never going to, you know, receive the riches from their rich network. And so step number one is you have to know what are your goals? What are your dreams? What is important for you? Right? So there's that. Once you know what your goals and dreams are, then you have to get clear on what are the rich relationships that matter most. And so I talk about 10 different types in the book. But let's say if you're starting a brand new business, if you're new to real estate, then you probably would really benefit from a mentor who can really show you the ropes and the shortcuts. Maybe you're in a place where your business is more like stable and you could benefit from promoters People who are referral partners and can send people to you. Or super connectors. Or maybe you're going through a really hard time and you need a confidant so that the types of people depend on where you are in your business.
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What would you suggest? Most of our people are the top real estate agents on the entire planet. We're lucky to have them as our listeners. So if I'm at the top of my game, what relationships am I looking for?
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Yeah, I would say the key ones would be super connectors, gatekeepers and promoters. So people that can unlock next level opportunities and get you into those, you know, special rooms.
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Love that. Okay, perfect. So I gotta be clear on my goals, I gotta be clear on my dreams. I have to know what's important to me, then I need to define what relationships matter so that I can focus on those. What's next?
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Exactly. Okay. So then once you have built that rich network, those initial connections, then you go into the nurture phase. Because the reality is out of sight, out of mind. You know, if you meet someone at a conference and you don't speak to them until three years later, or you get introduced to someone and it's like two years down the road, you're like, hi. It doesn't really feel like a warm connection. And Jason, what we don't want to do is only circle back to people when we need something from them, because then it feels transactional. But when you actually. Right. It feels transactional. But when you take the time to maintain the connection, then people feel like, wow, like this person cares about me. They carved out time out of their schedule just to say hello. And so in the book, I talk about six different nurturing strategies. But to keep it simple for today, I just want to highlight two very simple ones that are easy for people to do. So the first one is pinging. So pinging are these, like, light touch outreaches. It could be a quick text message, it could be a voice note saying that I'm thinking of you. So let's say if we were at a conference together, Jason, and we realized we have a mutual friend in common, we could take a picture and send a text message and say, hey, we're ears burning. We were both just raving about you and just recalling the last time we hung out together. Right. Or maybe across a really amazing book or podcast or resource and you text it to someone, you're like, hey, I was thinking of you. I thought that could be valuable. Or maybe it's group updates where you have like an inner circle newsletter and once a quarter, you're reaching out to your richest relationships and saying, hey, this is what's happening in my world. You know, you're an important person to me. I want to do a better job of staying in touch. And so I'm going to be sending these quarterly updates, but there is some kind of contact, right. Where you're spending time to update them or just show that you're thinking of them. So that's one. And then I would say the second one is gatherings. Right. Bringing people together. Because as you build your rich network, you're going to have multiple hundreds, multiple thousands of contacts. And it can feel very overwhelming to maintain all those relationships individually. And so if you're gathering people together, not only are you creating an amazing opportunity for someone you're reconnecting, but you're also introducing them to all these other people and showing your leadership. Right. And generosity. And so you can actually nurture, you know, a hundred relationships, 50 relationships. And if you have a big conference, maybe even a thousand relationships at once through hosting the right kinds of gatherings.
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Any tricks to gatherings? Do you have your three rules to a successful gathering kind of in your head? I know I can screw anything up, so make me better at it.
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Yeah, absolutely. So I think when it comes to gatherings, people want to know, well, who else is going to be there? And so you want to have some anchor names. So when I lived in New York City, I would bring together the media and entrepreneurs. I would always try to lock in two to three high profile names, whether it's like, oh, we've got an editor from Oprah there and someone from the Today show or this really notable entrepreneur because it kind of like sets the stage of who's going to be in the room. So having some anchor names. And I think it's also great to consider co hosts so that you're not the only one extending invitations. So even if you were going to do a small gathering, if you had two co hosts, so there's three of you and you each invite two people. You already have nine people, you know, and so that could be like a nice little gathering. And I guess this also comes from like my personal preference. But I believe that it's important to have good food at events. Like if people are hungry or they're like, ah, like, you know, they have to figure out where they get a beverage, like they're going to leave earlier. So you want to create like a nice environment where people are feeling nourished.
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Love. That makes perfect sense to me.
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Yeah. And so these Gatherings, you know, they can be simple things. Like it could be, you know, a walk and talk. Right. You're combining fitness and friendship. It could be, you know, an after work happy hour. It could be a movie night, it could be a book club. Like, there's so many different kinds of gatherings. Or maybe you're all going to a big conference together and there's a couple thousand people, but you organize like, you know, a rooftop dinner party the night before. And one of the big ideas in my book is that one rich relationship is more valuable than a hundred casual connections. So. Right. It's not about, like, feeling like I have to be in touch with everybody, but actually being really discerning about which relationships carry that energy of abundance and focusing on those relationships.
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And I think that's one of the key ideas. You make the argument in the book, and I'm going to paraphrase that it's not the number of contacts you make, it's the depth of the connection that you have. That's kind of a big different way of thinking about it in real estate, because, you know, for a long time it's been, well, how many people did you talk to today? You're kind of saying it's less about the number I talked to you and more about the depth of what we talked about and how they felt about the interaction.
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Yeah, absolutely. That's a piece of it. And then also there are some rich relationships that literally knowing that one person is like knowing a hundred people. You know, I am often organizing events and gathering people together, and I have a handful of super connectors that tend to connect me to the majority of my clients. Even when I had affiliate launches and we would have like 200 affiliates, there might be one affiliate that brings in 50% of the revenue compared to all of the others. Right. Or if we're hosting an exclusive event, maybe there's one person that brings 30 VIPs and another person might struggle to even invite one person. And everyone's just different. They've got different skill sets. And so for real estate agents, there's probably people that are centers of influence in your local community that others respect. And those would be the relationships to invest in more deeply.
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Well, yeah, you kind of make the argument that by having those folks there, then other people sense you're a winner. Yeah, you make the argument if you're a rising star doing great work and sharing your achievements regularly, people want to network with you. Many will think I want to get on that rocket ship. And that has a lot to do with who else is around you and who you're seen with.
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Yeah, it's also, you know, having that discernment. And so it's going to be, you know, different for everyone. I know for myself, you know, I really want to surround myself with high integrity people and also just drama free people. And so sometimes there may be somebody who is influential, but they have a bad reputation for not taking care of their clients, or they're emotionally volatile, or they just always have drama and chaos in my life. And so I just tend to just, you know, distance myself because that's not what I want. But that being said, if I was getting to know someone and they were really close to those types of people, I mean, I would still, you know, look at them individually, but I'd probably choose not to get into those circles because I don't want to be a part of that. And so, yeah, you definitely want to be mindful of the company you keep, because that's an expression and an extension of a way of how you're being perceived by others.
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All right, this makes sense to me. So this is in the nurturing. Then I have to activate this. What does activate even mean?
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Yeah, so activate is actually letting your rich relationships know how they can help you and leaning on them for support. And so a lot of people are afraid to ask for help. They think if I ask someone for help, they might think I'm a taker, I might damage the relationship. Or they think, let me just wait until maybe three years from now when I really need something and then I will ask. But here's the thing. Psychologists have coined this term called the helper's high. And the reality is, is that people enjoy helping other people. They enjoy being a part of their journey and helping others win. Of course, there needs to be a foundation and a relationship first. We're going to want to help people that have already shown up for us, but it can actually strengthen a relationship versus we can relationship. That being said, you have to ask the right thing. If you ask for something that's really inappropriate and very difficult for someone to help you with, then that's going to be harder for them to show up for that. But there might be smaller things and then you kind of lead up to bigger things. You know, one thing that I found on my book launch journey is that when and really for anybody's goal, if you do the nurture really well, you don't even need to activate. It just happens naturally. So for example, during my book launch, you know, I learned like, oh my goodness, I hit the USA Today bestsellers list, and I was really excited about that. That was a massive win for me. And so naturally, I just started texting a couple friends. I screenshot, you know, the webpage that showed that, and I sent them like, a sentence like, I hit the USA Today bestsellers list. And then I added a personalized sentence, whether it was, thanks for having me on your podcast. Thank you for pre ordering one copy. Thanks for coming to the book launch party. So even though it was a similar message, it just me, like, less than 30 seconds, you know, upload screenshot, paste the same sentence, write one personalized. It felt very, you know, unique to them. And then I thought, you know what? Let me keep doing this, right? Because this is pinging, right? So instead of just like, reaching out to, like, five people, which was natural, I was like, let me reach out to more people. And so I actually reached out to 77. Zero people that one day. And then the next day, I reached out to maybe like another 50 people. So 120 people. And there were people who maybe, you know, I hadn't heard from in a while and may maybe weren't responsive to my initial messages previously, who are like, oh, my gosh, I've got my book right next to me. I got a post on Instagram Stories right now, and they might be someone that has a million followers. And there was someone who was more of an acquaintance of mine, but he had been following me on social media and just seeing, you know, the excitement around the book. And he said, selena, do you think it would make a dent if I emailed my list of 600,000 people to buy your book? And I was like, are you for real? Like, yep. Like, let me prepare this swipe for you. Yes. And so the thing is here is, you know, you're nurturing the relationship. They're watching you on the journey. Like, when you post on social media, when you email group updates or individual updates, they see, oh, this is like the thing that's important to this person. And when they're included on the journey, then they're like, oh, hey, can I help with this particular thing?
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Well, I think there's some genius there, and I kind of want to hit these one at a time. So the first one here you say, express gratitude privately, which is kind of what you're talking about. Send an email, text, direct message, audio message, video message, or snail mail, share how their work has impacted your life or how they've inspired you. You say, because of you, I am blank. Or I just wanted to Share blank. This is what you're describing.
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When I think about also the people that I pour into, and I feel most energized to continually support, I love supporting the people who are the most grateful, the people that are most expressive and say, thank you. Wow, that just made such a massive difference. Or I want to circle back and share an update. That introduction that you made, they ended up becoming a client or we worked on this big project together, and so the communication is so important. And I find that, you know, not everybody is active about communication. Sometimes we think about other people and we're like, I love this person. I'm so grateful for them. We tell our friends, you know, about this other person, but we're not telling them directly. Like, hey, thank you for showing, showing up for me. Hey, thank you for being one of my rich relationships. And so we really need to get good at that communication.
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B
Let's hit these like a lightning round. So that one was express gratitude privately. The next one you say is express gratitude publicly. What does that mean?
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So that is, you know, sharing in a public setting, whether it's on a stage or on social media or in your newsletter. You know, I've connected people to big publicity opportunities, and you know that those are worth many thousands of dollars if they were to hire a publicist. And I see them posting their media wins, and, you know, it always feels great to be acknowledged where it's like, oh, you know, thank you, Selena, for making that intro right and including the other person who, like, really showed up to make that happen. So it's just adding an extra sentence. But that makes a person feel so good and inspired to do so much more.
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B
Love that. Next, send a gift. What are the key things there?
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So with sending a gift, you want it to be personal. It's not just about sending them, you know, a mug with your company logo. It's something that they would enjoy. One of my favorite gifts to send Jason is a restaurant gift card, because everybody needs to eat. And so I'll look up what are some of the best restaurants in their local city that have a variety of different foods? And I will often send people, like a hundred or two hundred gift cards, and it completely makes their day.
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Love that. Next, promote their causes.
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So people are posting online the things that really matter to them, right? Whether it's they're raising money for children's education or maybe they have a family member who is sick and they have a GoFundMe and it feels very vulnerable to put these things out there. And you wonder, or Is anyone going to respond? I believe in having something called a generosity fund. We can dive into this more later. But basically I have money set aside. And so when my rich relationships put themselves out there vulnerably or say they need help, I'm. I'm ready to donate right away.
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Then you say promote their products, services, or their content. So this is edifying the things that they're doing.
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So this could look like amplifying their podcast. It could look like if they have an event coming up, sharing it on social media, telling people that you're going. If you've purchase their program, maybe you're sharing it in your newsletter and giving people a link to check it out. But that's also very much connected to people's bottom line and business. And so they're always going to appreciate.
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That the next couple, they're worth noting, but they're just common sense gang. It's so smart though. Be their client.
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Yeah.
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Like become a star client of theirs. So if you have people in your database that own small businesses, you know, frequent them, send clients their way, we all understand sending referrals. This one, though, is interesting. Connect them to helpful resources. What'd you mean there?
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Yeah. So, Jason, something that we can all do is we can think about what are the most helpful resources and people in our lives. Like, if we did pick about the top five people that we would recommend. Right. Whether, you know, maybe it's an accountant, maybe it's, you know, a social media expert, maybe it's an AI expert. Who are our favorite people that we like to tell others about? And what are the things in our lives that save us the most time, that bring us the most ease and joy? You already have these things. Things, it costs you nothing to tell other people about them.
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Yeah. And then I'm going to skip a couple. But you say help important people in their life and that one's really powerful.
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Yeah. So paying attention to the people around them, maybe they have a wife that's looking to get back into the workforce. Maybe their child is looking to get into college. Or maybe they have aging parents. And you have navigated some of the things that they're going through. Right. Don't just think about what they need help with, but also the people around them.
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B
Okay, love that. I want to switch gears because real estate agents by and large were database driven businesses. So we have these large databases. I'm reading this book and I finally get to page 364. Okay. And then this was a commitment. This is a big book that you Wrote.
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I know. I'm honored. I'm honored.
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B
Okay, so I get to 364 because this is the first time in the book that you really talk about asking for the things you want. And I'm a believer that we have an epidemic of having people in our networks that we're not asking for in the real estate business is referrals to other people that want to buy and sell. Who can I talk to? But you lay out this whole idea that you should be asking for different things. If you're just asking for a referral that feels really transactional. But you could ask for things like advice in a tricky situation or feedback on a project or market research or testimonials, or even just featuring their story. And that makes the relationship deeper.
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I mean, I think that there is definitely like a time and place to ask for a business. But the reality is that sometimes on the spot people don't know, like who I can connect you to in that moment. It's more important to stay top of mind and for them to see you as that go to resource and expert. And when the time is right, then they will connect you to the right people. So it might be something like, hey, I'm looking to really, you know, build deeper relationships in this community. And I'm curious because, you know, you're so great at this, what are some events I should go to? Or who are some of the most connected people people you know? Or maybe would you be interested in collaborating and maybe hosting brunch together or co hosting another kind of event together on XYZ topic? And that could be a topic that could attract ideal clients. So really exploring ways to collaborate and ask them questions versus only like, hey, do you have a client for me right now?
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B
You kind of give this checklist and I think it's really smart because just because you have someone's name and phone number doesn't mean your relationship is at the point where you should be asking them for things. And I think of what you wrote here like a checklist. And you say number one before you ask. Let's just be clear. The relationship is well established. So I'm not asking the minute I meet you for something.
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Yeah, yeah, right. You've shown up as a giver in their life, someone that is genuinely present and curious about them. So there is that foundation first.
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B
Well, and that leads you to the next one. You've added generously to this person's life consistently over a period of time with no strings attached. That's a big idea.
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A
That is yeah, yeah, absolutely. Right. And so I think when people feel like, oh, this person's only going to be in relationship if I give them something, then it feels very tit for tat and transactional. So I talk about this idea of the three types of giving. I think we should talk about this now because it's going to connect to everything else we discussed. So. And this is inspired by Adam Grant's work around give and take. So basically, there are three types. There is the indiscriminate giver, and this is a person. And that whenever somebody needs help, they're like, yes, let me help you. They're all about centering the other person and putting themselves last. But what happens is when you give indiscriminately and you forget about yourself, you feel run ragged, and over time, you actually feel resentful, even if you were the one that initiated the giving. And so we don't need relationships where the other person feels resentful. Now, the second type of giving is transactional. So that is, well, I'll do this for you if you do this for me. And of course, we have transactions and business, but in terms of overall relationship building, we don't want to feel like the only reason why someone wants to talk to us is because they want something, you know, for short term gain. And then there's rich giving. And rich giving is the kind of person who has a discernment to see, like, what are the relationships that carry that energy of abundance where I feel expansive around them, that there are these mutual synergies, that this person genuinely cares about me and I care about them, and then pouring the energy intentionally into those relationships, but with no strings attached. And when I say no strings attached, I don't mean no benefit, because I believe that if you show up with kindness and generosity on a consistent basis, great things are gonna come back from your network. It just might not be from that specific person. Right. So I'm really coming from a place of relaxed abundance.
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B
This makes perfect sense to me. I'm getting this. And this is kind of. This is the generosity portion, meaning that I'm gonna be giving and ultimately givers are gonna gain. And these are the bricks that are building the relationship so that when I finally am ready to ask, it's a receptive audience.
- [27:03]
A
It's a receptive audience, absolutely. And another idea I want to share with people, and this is in the nurture piece of relationship building, is breathtaking generosity. So it's a term that I coined, and it's exactly what it sounds like when someone is so kind and generous, it literally takes your breath away. And we've all had moments, I'm sure you have have, Jason, where you're like, well, I can't believe the way that that person really showed up for me. Right? And so there are two primary ways that we can practice breathtaking generosity. And it really changes the game. You know, we become someone's new favorite person. We're in the top 1% of people where they're like, oh my gosh, this person had my back and I want to have theirs. So the two ways are to be a pain detective or a dream amplifier. So what is a pain detective? A pain detective is someone who is attuned to the PA pain of the people around them. And if someone's listening and saying, well, Selena, Jason, like, I'm not a mind reader. How do I know if there's people who are in pain? There's a couple of categories you really want to look out for. So number one, natural disaster. I'm pretty sure that everybody listening knows someone who was affected directly or indirectly by a hurricane, a wildfire, a flood, whether it was them or their loved ones. And when people are going through these natural disasters and any kind of big pain, I always say, be the first to show up, not the last to show up. And so in order to be the first to show up, you have to be in ready position and have your generosity fund ready. So your generosity fund is a certain amount of money that you set aside per year to pour into your rich relationships. But in addition to money, it can also be services and time and connections. But you know that when people are in deep pain, you're not just going to let them suffer. You're going to to send them a quick voice note, you're going to reach out, you're going to say, how can I help you? Right? So that's one category. Another category is relationship. You know, if someone's marriage is on the rock, so they might be going through a divorce, if their parents are aging, if they're having behavioral issues with their kids, right? This is a kind of pain. And I think that for relationships that feel very genuine, it's not just about money and business. It's also about their well being being, right? So even just showing an interest in like, how are you doing? How can I support you being a listening ear, you know, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm around, right? So that's another category. Another category is obviously financial, right? People have businesses and sometimes businesses don't do as well. Maybe they have lost a lot of their business or they're changing their business model, or they're having an identity crisis because they had to shut something down and build something new. And so just really showing up for people in kind and generous ways. So that would be being a pain detective. And then the other category is being a dream amplifier. And so there's someone that you care about, and, you know, they have this big goal and dream. Maybe it's that, you know, they're running their first marathon or they're launching a book or a podcast, or they're looking to be, you know, the top real estate agent in their region or whatever it is. You know, really thinking about how can I support you? So as an example, I was just on a stage yesterday with a thousand women, and I shared an Instagram reel and how it was so great. And I had, like, a couple people reach out to me and send me voice notes. I'm like, hey, I was so excited to see that. How are you feeling? How was that for you? You know, it's like people see UVIs as important and wanting to gauge in conversation and see how they can be supportive. And so it's not about having to do things 24. 7 to other people. But there will be certain moments in time when your generosity means the world, and it's going to be in those moments of deep pain or those moments where they had those big dreams. And when these big things are happening in their life, how can you be the first to show up and not the last to show up?
- [30:59]
B
The thing I love about this, the generosity fund is so smart, because if you don't have that money set aside, you agonize over, should I do it? Should I not do it? How much should I do? Or how much of a budget do I have? This really prepares you to be there when people need it.
- [31:14]
A
Yeah. And, Jason, like, some of these things that we can do, it's like $100, $50, $200. When you think about the commission you can make on a real estate transaction, you know, how much a client is worth to you. Like, let's say, you know, if your business generates, like, a million dollars in profit. Well, if you were to put 5% in your generosity fund, that would be 50,000, or maybe it's 2% and it's 20,000. But I'm pretty sure that if you pour into your richest relationships, the super connectors, the gate, the promoters, some of your top peers, your top clients, like, 2% into your richest relationships will Definitely reap rewards, if not right away. Absolutely. Over time.
- [31:57]
B
I think it's genius. All right, last question for me. I want you to put on, I want to ordain you for the next six minutes to be a real estate agent. Congratulations. You are now one of us. And you wake up Tomorrow, you have 2,000 people in your database. Some of them are past clients, some of them are just people, you know, some of them are people that live in the neighborhood. Neighborhood. And you're not getting the amount of repeat and referral business that you want out of that database. What play would you run tomorrow? What would be the first thing you do to reinvigorate this thing and build rich relationships?
- [32:31]
A
Yeah, the first thing that I would do is organize some event to bring people together because we've all been on the receiving end of these mass emails from real estate agents and every email sounds the same. Oh, this is, you know, the prices of properties in your area. And we're. Well, it's helpful information. I just feel like I'm one of many. But if I'm able to be in a room with you and learn about you, feel connected to you, then that really changes the game. So I would say creating some kind of gathering, but I also think it's really powerful to have personalized resources that can help people. So in my case, you know, I'm actually in the process of moving to Dubai and there were a bunch of real estate agents that were looking to build relationships with me. Me. There was one guy, I think his name was Charlie, and he was like, you know, what are you looking for? And oh, you're not looking to move until this date? Okay, let's be in touch, you know, a month before. Whereas there was somebody else who was like, oh, you're not looking to move until this date? Well, you know, I would love to stay in touch. I would love to invite you to an event with some other influential woman in the community. We can talk about your book together. Oh, you know, I'd love to share a breakdown of the different neighborhoods in Dubai. I would love to share this and that with you. And she just continually poured into the relationship. And now that it's time for me to rent a place, I'm like, well, of course I want to go with her because I just see how she is consistent, how she is thoughtful and she's investing in me before anything has happened.
- [33:57]
B
I can't believe you're going to go live in Dubai. Okay, hot take on this. I think Dubai is an incredible three day city. I Can't imagine. Imagine living full time in Dubai.
- [34:08]
A
Yeah, no, that's. I mean, it's not for everyone, Jason, but I grew up in Hong Kong, so I'm a bit used to big cosmopolitan cities, and I actually feel at home there. And there are different pockets depending on your personality. I'm super excited about it.
- [34:23]
B
By day three, I felt always underdressed and I couldn't eat any more food. Those were the things that were 100% sure. People even have outfits to go to the gym that rival the outfits that I wear to work. And that's when I knew this city was too much for me.
- [34:38]
A
Yeah, I feel like Austin and Dubai are completely different vibes, and I love the city and I think it's going to be great. But one thing about Dubai is they are really like a relationship first city. And they're all about business and they're about innovation and growth. And so I'm excited to be a part of that culture.
- [34:55]
B
It's awesome. You do realize the minute this airs, you are going to get tons of real estate agents in Dubai, because we're listening to all over the world who are going to reach out and say, hey, that's amazing. I'm your new person. So that's what's going to happen. All right, so number one, organize an event. Number two, make sure that I have resources and that I'm giving like crazy and that will reinvigorate those relationships. Yes.
- [35:13]
A
Yeah, absolutely. Because you create a resource and then you can give it to so many different people. You're not having to reinvent the wheel, but you need to know that it's the resource that is relevant to them. Right. So maybe at an event, you could even, as part of the intake, ask them different questions. So you can put them into different buckets based on their need, and then you can follow up with a helpful resource that addresses what they need. Right now.
- [35:37]
B
I think it's genius. Friends, the book is called Rich Create a Million Dollar network for your business. Selena Su is the author. Selena. I know my audience. They're all going to say, how do I get more Selena in my life? Where do you want our people to go to check out and listen more?
- [35:52]
A
Yeah. So the number one place for them to go is Rich Relations. Keller Williams. Because on that page, I am actually giving away the first four chapters of the book for free.
- [36:04]
B
There it is, gang. You heard it here first. Check it out. Conversation frameworks that will never go out of style. I love it. Selena. Thank you. Everything you're doing for the Industry keeping us ahead and helping us build better relationships. I am grateful.
- [36:18]
A
Thank you.
- [36:20]
B
I mean does she get database driven businesses or what on page seven in the book? And this is the piece that gets got me. I was hooked when I got to page seven because it says one rich relationship is more valuable than a hundred casual connections. Gang, that's the truth. I want you to think about your databases for a moment. Don't you have a group that should be tagged VIP? And aren't those the VIPs that introduce you or refer you more business in that. Yeah, everybody's fantastic and we want to help everyone. But not everyone is going to give back to us in the same way way that we are going to be giving to them. And she understands that this idea of being clear on what you want to accomplish and what you're actually looking for from the people in your network, then spending the time to get to the point where activating them and asking for business makes logical sense. There is nothing worse than when I meet somebody for the first time and they jump the relationship. Imagine this. You meet someone for the first time, you exchange pleasantries and then you get a handwritten note the next day and it's signed I love love you. Awkward, right? Absolutely. They didn't earn the right to get there in the relationship. And what Selena's saying, the wisdom in the book is a lot of us are jumping the building of the relationship and we're going right to the asking. And that's very off putting. Look, friends, I don't know anybody that wants to be sold. Do you want to be sold? But I do know a tremendous amount of people that want to be in fellowship, that want to wake up every day and the next organic step because they care about you and like you, is to help you grow your business. Isn't that what we're looking for? All the things we're doing in our touch programs are designed so that we're more known and trusted to our database. That's it. And why do we do it? So the next logical step in the relationship is either that we get to help them or they send us someone else to help. That makes all the sense in the world. And that's what she's saying. Here's what I want to leave you with. Here's a thought. When you think about your touch program and you ask the question are the things that I'm doing giving people the impression that they not as a group, but as an individual matter deeply to me are the gifts that I'm sending connecting with people and letting them know that I know you. Or in our zeal to have giant databases, are we simply sending touches that are without meaning, less deep than they could be, and gifts that hold no actual value to the people getting them? You see, I believe that answering those difficult questions, as hard as it might be, is the difference between having relationships and having rich ones. Go forth and do likewise. There it is. That wraps another episode. Friends, I don't know what you're taking out of this. I really don't. I'll tell you what I win want you to be taking out of it, which is these are the people that are having tremendously big lives and the reason it's happening is because they're setting up the models and systems to do just that. Gary Keller told me that leadership is teaching people how to think so that they do the things they need to do when they need to do them, so that ultimately they get the things they want when they want to have them. And that's what I want for leadership. You, you're all leaders, but it begins with leading ourselves. Hey gang, if you're enjoying this as much as we are, I want you to subscribe. Hit the button right now. Do it on YouTube, Amazon, Music, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. We also send out a newsletter at the conclusion of every show to make sure that you get the highest points in the models and systems that were discussed. So if you want to sign up, I need your name and your email address. Head over to themillionaire agent podcast.com millionaireagentpodcast.com Enter your name and your email address and every week that newsletter will be in your box. Friends, you just went on a journey. I hope that what happens between now and the next time we meet is absolutely wonderful for you. Thanks for listening. I'll see you next week.
- [40:29]
C
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