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You're feeding your brain data all of the time that says expect danger, expect loss, expect disappointment. And so neurologically, what this is doing to you, your amygdala, which is your threat detection center in your brain, gets more overreactive over time. So you're constantly looking for fears and threats. Your prefrontal cortex, which is your rational planning, decision making part of your brain gets hijacked by emotion and fear. And when you're, when you're, you're really in a state of fear, you're in very, very, very low logic. You're not thinking very well. Your prefrontal cortex stops working as well. And then your nervous system starts living in chronic stress patterns. So basically it's stuck in fight, flight or freeze. And so your thoughts are not harmless things. They're literally training your brain and your body to expect and recreate the same emotional reality. So think about that for a second. You're literally training your brain with your thoughts what to expect and recreate the exact same emotional reality that you've always had. Now, if you flip it and you Decide to do something different and think differently. Like when you really genuinely start to practice and think this will somehow work out for me, I always figure things out like, this is going to make sense for later. This is happening for me. You're training your brain to expect and then to actually look for solutions and support and opportunities and possibilities. And so over time, your amygdala, the fear start part of your brain, starts to calm down a little bit. You don't perceive everything as a threat and live in a state of fear and worry. Your prefrontal cortex has more access to logic and creativity and long term thinking. And then your nervous system starts to spend more time in a regulated state, which means clearer thinking and better decisions. And so you're literally becoming a different person when you think differently neurologically and behaviorally, because your brain wires around what you repeatedly think and do, you know, what you repeat you actually become in your life. And so your brain changes based off of repetition and emotion. And, you know, there's a thing that's called neuroplasticity, which if you've never heard me talk about, it's your brain's ability to rewire itself based on what you keep doing and what you keep thinking. So if you think a thought once, not really a big deal, but if you think it a hundred times a day, that becomes a program and your brain starts running the program over and over and over again. And what programs your brain in the way that it thinks? Well, it's what you think about and the patterns that you're stuck in. You know, you have between 60 to 90,000 thoughts a day and 95% of them are the same as they were the day before. So when you keep thinking and rehearsing worst case scenarios, you keep, you're reinforcing neural pathways that link to uncertainty, which equal danger, which equals shutdown or panic. And when you train yourself to act as if everything works out for you, you're reinforcing neural pathways that link uncertainty to curiosity, to courage, to action and trust. The situations might be exactly the same, but the brain walking into them is completely different. And this is why two people can have the exact same life event. But in one can say, oh my gosh, this ruins me, and the other one can say, this grows me. It's the exact same event, it's a different brain, it's a different life. And so you have to understand, like real quick, let me talk about how your brain actually filters this stuff through. Because if you've never heard me talk about the reticular activating system. Now, this is going to make sense if you have. This is going to dive a little bit deeper than we normally do in the reticulate activating system. So your reticular activating system, if you've never heard of it, is a small network of neurons in your brain stem that acts like a filter for your reality. And so your senses take in way more information than you can consciously hold in your mind. You know, there's sounds, there's colors, there's feelings, there's faces, there's opportunities, there's threats, there's all these things. And your reticular activating system decides, okay, out of the millions of things happening right now, what's actually important enough to send to my conscious awareness? And here's the key. Your reticular activating system is programmed by what you repeatedly focus on and believe. If you believe that the world is out to get you, then you'll see every single place where you're going to be a victim. If you believe that everything is working out for you, then you will see challenges as being there to help you and help you grow in some sort of way. You'll see closed doors as you being guided in a better direction versus something to make yourself a victim of. So, you know, the reticular activating system. Perfect example that everybody always uses is like, if you go out and you buy a car, you don't really see that car very much until you buy it. And then once you buy it, you suddenly see that car everywhere. It's always been there. It's just your brain didn't care before, and now it does. Before Lauren got pregnant, I never saw babies. I, like, never saw pregnant women. But now I'm like, holy shit, they're everywhere. Like, I didn't realize how many pregnant women there are. I just didn't notice before because it wasn't something that I was focusing on. And then once my wife gets pregnant, I'm like, oh, my God, there's all of these other women that are pregnant out here. So you decide who you want to be. You decide how you're going to show up, and that's the reticular activating system. It's not that the world has changed in any sort of way. It's that the world that you live in in your mind has changed. It's your. The way that your brain operates and the filter that it has has changed. Your world changes when your perception changes. And so you know how your beliefs train your reticular activating system. Let's Dive into it real quick. If deep down you believe nothing works out for me, people can't be trusted. I'm not good enough. Your reticular activation system will highlight the betrayals and the failures and the rejections and all the places where you're not good enough. And it will downplay all of the support or the wins or the possibilities in your life. You will keep finding evidence how life is against you. If that's what you think, because that's what you're searching for, it's not because it's the full truth. It's because that's what you're searching for, but because your brain is literally filtering out the world to confirm what you already believe. Now imagine that you start believing that everything is trying to work out for you. Everything always works out for me. In the end, your reticular activating system will start to work differently, and it will begin to highlight synchronicities, to notice opportunities, to spot helpful people that are in your life, to see solutions where you only saw problems before. You become someone who ends up just getting lucky more often. It's not luck, it's your filter. You're training your brain to notice what serves your growth, ignore more of what doesn't, and then connect the dots where you might have missed them in the past. And that's why acting as if everything always works out for you isn't just motivational. Like, it's actually perceptual and neurological. And so what you think, you create. So if you think that the world's out to get you, you'll see the world's out to get you. If you think that everything always works out for you, you will start to get everything to work out for you. And now people can get really weird with this and they think, oh, yeah, well, you know, they can go real, try to go real magical, you know, and say, oh, like, if I just think about money falling from the sky, I'm just going to be rich. I wouldn't say that. Right. Other people go full skeptic and they say, hey, like, that's nonsense. Hard work's the only thing that matters. The truth is kind of in the middle of both of those. A little bit spiritual, a little bit practical. So the grounded way of thinking about it and understanding is your thoughts. Your thoughts in life shape your emotional state. Your emotional state shapes your actions, and your actions will shape your results. So, no, you don't sit on your couch and manifest a new life by meditating on a couch cushion for five or eight hours a day. But also you just don't grind away a new life while thinking and feeling like a failure every single day. And so if you look at that like if we take two different. Take the exact same, let's take a scenario, right? And I'll give you script A and script B, right? So let's say you launch a new project, a new business, and it fails. Script A would be nothing works out. Your thought would be, of course I knew this was going to fail. This proves that I'm not cut out for this. Your emotions then would be shame and discouragement and embarrassment. Your actions, you would withdraw, you'd stop trying, you'd avoid risk, maybe numb out the world. And your result is you would get less feedback, less skill, less opportunity, and your future would then remain small. Now let's say script B, when you actually look at it, this failure that you had, and you actually do think everything works out, for me, the thought is, okay, this didn't go as planned, but I know there's a lesson or some, some sort of redirection here. The emotion is disappointment, but still with curiosity and determination in some sort of way. The action is, you look at the data, you ask for feedback, you experiment again, you refine, you get better, and then you eventually the result, you grow, you improve, and you eventually hit something that does work. It's the same event in the person's life, but it's a different story. It's a different nervous system response and different behaviors. So when I say what you think you create, I'm not saying you just magically control reality. What I'm saying is the lens that you see the world and reality through, the state that your brain and your body operate in, the quality of the actions that you take, all of those change based off of what you think about. And so over time, that will create a completely different life for somebody. And so you have to understand it's not about like just saying affirmations all day long. It's about changing your identity. You're moving from I'm the type of person that bad things happen to, to I'm the type of person that always finds a way to work things out. And the identity shift changes everywhere. Everything in your life, it changes. Your posture. Like, you walk a little bit more open, you breathe a little bit deeper, you're less collapsed and sunken over. Your energy will be different. People will feel safer around you. When you start to think this way, because you're not stuck in a fearful state, you'll feel more grounded, you'll feel Less frantic and full of worry. You become someone that other people actually want to be around. It'll change your decisions, you know, you'll take more aligned risks in your life. You'll leave situations that are clearly wrong for you and you'll stop begging for crumbs and start building your own table that you want to sit at. And so in your relationships will change. I mean, everything will. You'll be less clingy and controlling. You'll be more honest and authentic. You'll trust that the right people will stay and the wrong ones will eventually fall away. And you become somebody who trusts himself, trust that they can handle the hard things and trust that even if they fail, they're going to get back up and know that it'll make sense later. And that's what's powerful about the whole situation. And so really it's quite simple. You have to adopt a new default. You can do that through questions if you want to. Your questions guide your perception. You just need to ask better questions. So when something happens to you and say if saying like, oh my God, why is this happening to me? Think how might this be working out for me in the long run? That's going to change your perception. Why is this happening to me? Victim, how might this work out for me in the long run? Now I'm trying to find some actual true meaning behind this thing. Start to think about that for a second. If you act as if and you start to become the type of person that you want to become, you will step into being that person. So you've got to think to yourself, if the world's always working out for me, if I'm trying to step into the person that I want to be, what's one thing that I can do today that that version of me would do? And then you pair your new beliefs with bold aligned action. Of course your life is going to change. You're going to do things you've never done before. You're not going to sit back, you're not going to do nothing. You're going to do things that used to scare. You're going to send the email, you're going to have the hard conversation, you're going to launch the business, you're going to leave a situation that's clearly wrong for you. And action by action, step by step, you're becoming the type of person by acting as if you are that person and acting as if everything is always working out for you. And so as I wrap up, I want you to imagine something, I want you to Imagine that from this day forward your default belief became in the end, things always work out for me because I always show up, I always learn, and I always get better. Imagine how differently you would handle setbacks and walk into opportunities and show up in relationships and talk to yourself in the mirror. Just think about that. So for the next seven days, when something goes quote unquote wrong, just pause and say out loud this is working out for me somehow. And then ask yourself, how might this be working out for me? And then you just take one small action each day that the future you would need to take and you wake up two, three, four, five years down the road and you are a different person because you acted like a different person. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me obdial jr r o b D I A L J R and if you're out there, you love this podcast. You want to learn more about coaching with me outside of the podcast? Go to coachwithrob.com once again coachwithrob.com and with that, I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.

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