← The Mindset Mentor
The Mindset Mentor
How to Meditate Step by Step
00:18:40
Ever feel like meditation is more stressful than calming? You’re not alone. In this episode, I break down how to make meditation simple, why it works, and how it can literally rewire your brain for success. Plus, I’ll share my experience with 10-day silent retreats and the biggest mistake people make when they try to meditate.
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Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you're out there and you're the type of person who is here to change your mindset not just at the conscious level, but also the subconscious level. I just created something I think you're going to like. It's absolutely free. It's something called morning Mindset priming, where you can actually learn how to develop your own routine so that you can brainwash yourself for what you want to do, what you want to believe, how you want to feel, how you want to act throughout your entire day in your entire life. So if you want to get it for free, you can download the lesson and all the worksheets that come with it at Morning Priming. Com. Once again, Morning Priming. Com is absolutely free for my listeners. Today we're going to be talking about how to meditate. The thing that stresses so many people out. Even though it's supposed to be the least stressful thing in the entire world. Now I'll tell you this, I am not an expert at all with meditating. Frankly, I've been doing it since 2009. I'm still not really all that good at it. I'm getting it together, I'm getting better, but I'm still not great, I guess you would say. But I don't judge myself for it. It's just something that I do at least once a day, sometimes multiple times per day.
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And it's okay.
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I don't have any. I have no attachment to mastering meditation. I'm not going to be some monk in the middle of Nepal who's trying to transcend the 3D realm and turn into a light body or anything like that. I'm just a guy who's just trying to calm himself down, feel a little bit better, less anxious, more calm, less reactive, you know. I've done 10 day silent meditation retreats which is called Vipassana, something that you can do. They're all over the world, it's free, it's just donation based. So I've done Vipassana before where you cannot speak for 10 days, you can't look people in the eyes, you can't journal, you can't do yoga, you can't work out, you can't do anything except for meditate or just sleep or stare at a tree. That's basically all you could do for 10 days. It's basically like, like, it's like, it's like beating your mind into submission is basically what I would say. And it was amazing. First seven days, hard as hell. Day eight, nine and ten, the most bliss I've probably ever felt in my entire life. So I've done a 10 day silent meditation retreat. I've done, you know, a week long Dr. Joe Dispenza Advanced Retreat where it's seven days straight of meditating. So I've done quite a bit of it. And the real question is why do I do it in the first place? Is because I can see so many benefits in my own life. Like I know that I am a better person each day when I take time for myself to meditate, to chill myself out, to calm down, to turn my anxious mind off, turn my rest and relaxation and abundance versus scarcity mind on. And that's what I focus on. There's something funny that happens to me quite often, too. So every once in a while, people will come up to me on the street and say that they love the podcast, they've been listening for a while. And it's really this odd thing. Like Somehow at least 50% of the time, I don't know if people, like, feel guilty, but somehow it like flies out of their mouth where they're like this. And I know you say to meditate and I don't, but I know that I should, but blah, blah, blah, blah. And then they keep talking. I'm like, it's really weird that people keep, keep like, like telling me out of nowhere without me asking that they don't meditate. They know that they should. And I'm really starting to realize how many people that are out there that know that they should meditate and feel like they should meditate, but they're not actually doing it. So hopefully in today's episode, I can sell you on why you should actually develop some sort of a practice around meditating and then teach you hopefully, how to get a little bit better. And so why do you want to meditate? You know, because a lot of people feel like it's the least productive thing that you can do. You're doing nothing. And we live in a world where it's, go, go, go, be productive, be productive, be productive. And so a lot of people feel like it's a waste of time. I get it. It makes sense when you look at it that way. But there was a study that was published in Consciousness and cognition in 2010, and they found out that daily meditation in some capacity, enhances your attention, it enhances your memory, your mood, your emotional regulation, and your focus. And so they actually found that even short periods of meditation can have immediate benefits on enhancing your cognitive functioning. So there are study after study after study that show that people who meditate are way more productive than people who do not. And so even though it doesn't feel like in the moment you're being productive, you're basically setting your brain up to be more productive, to have better memory, have better focus, have better mood, have better emotional regulation. It also really helps with depression, which is at a rise right now. Research at Harvard investigated how mindfulness based cognitive therapy changes the brain activity and the structure in depressed patients. In a study aimed at understanding how the mindfulness based cognitive therapy affects interoception, which is your body awareness and your rumination which are crucial in depression for people. And so by focusing attention on the present, meditation can actually help break the cycle of negative thoughts which are very, very typical in depression. So it helps with depression. What else does it help with? Well, it helps with brain aging as well. A study was done in 2016 compared the brains of 50 long term meditators with 50 people who did not meditate at all. And they found out that the meditators brains appeared to be on average seven and a half years younger than their actual age. So the suggestion of this actual study was that meditation might actually slow down your brain aging. So do we still feel like it's not worth it? Do we still feel like it's not productive? It slows down our brain aging. It helps people not be depressed, it helps people not be anxious, it helps with your mood and it helps you be more productive. So hopefully in some sort of way I've sold you on why you should do it. So let's talk about meditation though. Why should you meditate? We covered how to meditate. Let's talk about. Okay. For me personally I've done many forms of meditation over the years. The one thing that I have found that works best for me and I recommend that you actually try is to do some form of breath work before you do it. And so breath work doesn't have to be like this really intense 30 minute session of breath work or hour long session so that you release DMT from your pineal gland and that you transcend your physical body. Like it doesn't have to be like that. It doesn't have to be the WIM HOF method. It doesn't have to be any of that. It can be as simple as six deep breaths, just in through the nose for four seconds or so, out through the mouth for eight to 10 seconds. It could just be six deep breaths to kind of get yourself back into your body. One thing that I do recommend, if you do want to get start trying some breath work, there's a guy that I listen to nearly every single day on YouTube, his name is breathewithsandy. I have no affiliation with him. I just think he does the best breath work that's out there and he has five minute sessions all the way up to an hour long session. And so I do some form of breath work before it could be 60 breaths and then I meditate if I don't have a lot of time. You usually. I'll do about a five minute session and then I'll meditate. Doesn't really matter. What I find is that the breathwork session gets me out of my head and gets me into my body. And so no matter what it is that I do, I have three different programs that I run. One of them's called mindset 2.0. One of them is called Mindset University. And another one which is specifically just for coaches on how to grow their coaching business is called Business Breakthrough. Every time I go live, it's in those sessions and go do zoom calls with everybody. The very first thing that we do is breath work. And the reason why is because it gets you out of your head and gets you into your body. You don't realize that your head, your brain, is almost always somewhere else. And so one of the reasons why we're so stressed is because we're almost always projecting ourself into the past, or in most cases, we're projecting ourself into the future. That's what our brain does. Our body is always here in this present moment. And so when I do breath work, it brings my awareness back to my body. I focus on my breathing, I focus on the way that I feel. And then I usually start that way before I go into my meditations. And we will be right back.
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And now back to the show. So do breath work? One of the things that I recommend that you do, and this is something that I learned in Vipassana, is to get in your position. Whatever your position is. I recommend don't lay down though, because you'll probably fall asleep. And falling asleep is not meditation. So people always ask like, am I still meditating if I fall asleep? I'm like, no, that's not meditation. That's a nap is what it is. So, you know, you don't have to be uncomfortable. But get yourself into a seated position some sort of way. You find yourself in your position and then you're gonna notice because you're becoming more aware of your body, you're gonna start noticing things that you feel in your body that you're not normally feeling. So you're gonna get a little bit sore and you're gonna want to adjust in some sort of way. You're going to get an itch that you're going to want to scratch. You're going to feel, you know, a tingling on your face. No matter what happens, do not move a muscle. And the reason why is because the point of meditation is to go internal. And if you're reacting to something that tickles or something that itches or soreness that is once again going external again. And so it's your brain trying to distract you as you're going in deeper. And so I recommend once you find yourself in your position, stay exactly as you are. Everything will be okay. Your soreness will go away. I promise you it's not going to kill you. The thing that's itching you, it's going to go away. It's not going to kill you. And the way that they taught it to us was the reason why you want to let it go is because the soreness itself, the itching itself, they're all temporary. And everything in this world is temporary. And so it's about accepting that everything is temporary. I'm temporary, you're temporary. The house that I'm in right now is temporary. Everything over the next thousand years is temporary. So it's like, let's not react to temporary stuff. So when you sit down, you start to meditate. The point is not to not think, which is what most people are like, I'm messing up. I can't turn my brain off. Because most people think for some reason. Like sitting down and meditating is sitting down meditating and just going into the abyss. I'm just supposed to have black around me. I'm not going to see anything in my mind. I'm not going to hear anything. I'm not going to think anything. The point of it is not to think nothing. The point is to observe your thoughts. So to take a step back, get out of your mind, and to observe your thoughts. The way I like to think about it is like this. If you're sitting on a mountainside and you're watching the cars go by on a road that's below you, you're just watching the cars go by. You're not jumping into those cars and saying, oh my gosh, this car is me. It's the same way with your thoughts. You're taking a step back like you're on a mountainside and you're just watching your thoughts go by and just watching them. You're not jumping into a thought and saying, oh my God, there's something wrong with me. Oh, my God, this is who I am. It's like, no, I'm just. I'm observing my thoughts. You will start to realize that you are this kind of weird, but you're this consciousness that is behind your thoughts. So don't identify with your thoughts. You are not those thoughts. You are starting to become aware of your thoughts. And as you become aware of your thoughts, you're becoming aware of yourself. Whatever comes up in your mind during meditation is your normal self. This is what most people struggle with and why it's so hard for so many people to do. Whatever comes up in your mind during meditation is your normal self. So if you sit there and I've had this happen many times, sit down and just get flooded with anxiousness, just this feeling of anxiety and anxiousness, and I'm so Busy. I've got so much shit to do. Why am I doing this? This is stupid. I'm not good at this, whatever it might be. If you get anxious during the meditation, you're probably anxious throughout the day. You're watching yourself. If you can't sit still during the meditation, you probably can't sit still throughout the entire day. You're watching yourself. If you. If your mind immediately goes to fear during the meditation, it's because your mind is probably in fear throughout the day. You're watching yourself during meditation. You're learning yourself. If you get mad at yourself because you're not doing it right, you're probably getting mad at yourself a lot. Throughout the day. You're watching yourself. If you start questioning if you're doing it right, you probably question yourself a lot throughout the day. This is the point of the meditation, is you are watching your thoughts and your thoughts that come up. Like, meditation doesn't make you anxious. It shows you your anxiousness. Meditation doesn't make you mad. It shows you your anger that is there. It doesn't create anything. It just shows you what lives inside of you. It's like the idea of if you take an orange and you squeeze an orange and put pressure on it, what comes out of it? Orange juice. Why? Because that's what's inside. Well, when you sit down and meditate, whatever comes up is what is inside of you. It's not creating that. It is showing you what's inside of you. The difference is you're just not keeping so busy that you're able to hide from it anymore. If you get distracted, you're probably easily distracted throughout the day. If you get angry, you probably have anger throughout the day. It is just showing you. Meditation is basically a mirror that you're placing in front of yourself so that you can say, oh, hi, this is me. This is who I am. You're training your brain. So, you know, like, for me, when I did my meditation this morning, I wanted to get up. I was like, I need to get up. I got so much stuff to do. I'm busy today. And I was like, nope, that means we're staying longer. My mind is not the one that's in control here. I am the one that's in control. If my brain says get up, I'm going to say, sit down, shut up, and stay longer. I'm training you. The way I like to see it is it's like training your brain the same way that you train your dog. You know, like for my dog, he likes to Freak out anytime someone comes to the door. And so when someone freaks out and comes to the door, a lot of times what I'll do is I'll say, no, sit. And he'll. He'll freak out for a little while. I'm like, hey, I'm not opening the door until you sit. You need to sit. And then he'll freak out for a little while, and then eventually he kind of calms down, and he'll sit down, and then I'll unlock the door, and he'll jump up again. I'm like, no, no, no, sit. And then I'll start to open the handle and move. And he stands up again. I'm like, no, no, no. Sit. And the thing is, I'm like, sit, stay, Sit and stay. I'm trying to train him to not freak out when someone comes over. I'm trying to sit, sit down, stay.
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Everything's okay.
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You're doing the exact same thing with your mind. When your mind goes off and starts thinking about what you have to do today, bring it back. No, no, no. We're not talking about today. We're talking about this moment. You're just going to be right here. If you start to run off and your brain goes another direction. Hey, hey, hey. Come on, right here. No, no, no. Sit, stay. Hey, sit, stay.
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Sit, stay.
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This is what you're doing with yourself. Don't shame yourself or guilt yourself or be an asshole to yourself. You're just retraining yourself is what you're doing the same way that you're training a dog. You're just retraining your brain on what you want to be, what you want to do. Ultimately, we all need more moments of silence. We live in a world where we are just bombarded with things that we have to do all day long and so busy in our phones and social media and text messages and emails, and it's just. It's a lot. Our brains were not designed for this world that we live in, so we need to take a step back and allow ourself to relax a little bit more. One thing I hear with people is they're like, oh, but I'm just so. I don't. I don't want to be bored. It's just boring for me to do it. Don't change your mindset from it's boring to I'm relaxing. Right? You're relaxing your mind. Give your mind a break for a little while. It's like, if you work out, you can't work out all day long. Your body grows when you rest, you need the rest. In order for your muscles to grow, you need the rest. You can't just be go, go, go, go, go, or you'll burn out. Same thing with your brain. It can't be go, go, go, go all the time or you'll burn out. You know, take a step back. You know, if you. If you have a long day, rest your mind a little bit throughout the day so it can be better, so it can work better. Ultimately, this is what it really comes down to, is just giving yourself more moments of silence, more moments of peace, so that you're just not training your brain to have to be go, go, go, go, go. I was having a conversation with a friend the other day, and they were talking about their dad. Just does not. Does not know how to turn off. You know, he's retired now, and he doesn't know how to stop. And she's like, it's just so sad because he's just go, go, go, go, go all the time. He'll come over to see his granddaughter, and then within, like, 30 minutes, he's like, I gotta go. Cause he feels like he has to be running all of the time. And I'm like, yeah, it's. And we were talking about it, and I was like, yeah, I know people like that. And it's sad because it's not usually that person's natural tendency. It's just what they've trained themselves to be. And so a lot of us have, myself included, have trained ourselves just be go, go, go, go, go, go, go all the time. I used to be terrible at vacations because I couldn't turn off. But what you try to do is you try to train yourself to disconnect, to be okay with boredom, to realize that boredom is actually relaxation of your mind. And the more that you start to do this relaxation, the more that you start to do this meditation, you start to become aware, and the things start to bubble to the surface that are happening in your subconscious that are really the most important things for you to deal with. So hopefully I sold you on why you should meditate a little bit more. I gave you some examples how to do it. Hopefully you can get better at it as well. Very simple.
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Sit down, close your eyes.
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Don't move. Stay there until the phone goes off or until your meditation music's over. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me obdialjr. R O B D I A L J. R. And with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission. Make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.