Podcast Summary: "What is Love?" – The Mindset Mentor with Rob Dial and Lauren Dial

Release Date: February 14, 2025
Host: Rob Dial
Guest: Lauren Dial

Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of The Mindset Mentor, released on Valentine's Day 2025, host Rob Dial engages in a profound conversation with his wife, Lauren Dial, exploring the multifaceted concept of love. This episode delves deep into their personal definitions of love, the distinction between loving someone and being in love, the importance of self-love, vulnerability in relationships, and fostering growth within a partnership.

Defining Love: Personal Perspectives

Lauren's Childhood Understanding of Love
Lauren begins by sharing a tender childhood ritual initiated by her father. Every night before bed, her dad would ask her, "What does love mean?" This daily practice helped Lauren develop a personal understanding of love grounded in simple, everyday actions.

[04:33] Lauren Dial: "Love means making breakfast with your family. Love means giving your friend a hug or whatever came to mind for me that day."

Rob's Contrasting Experience
Rob contrasts his upbringing, having a father who struggled with alcoholism and was less present. Despite these challenges, Rob never felt unloved but acknowledges the differing perspectives both he and Lauren brought into their relationship.

Love vs. Being in Love

Rob and Lauren delve into distinguishing between loving someone and being in love with someone.

Lauren's Definition of Being in Love

[07:17] Lauren Dial: "Being in love is somebody that you can be completely vulnerable with and feel safe to be your full self around. You don't have to edit yourself in any way, and you want to have every experience of life with this person."

Rob's Expanded View

Rob adds that being in love involves recognizing and healing parts of oneself influenced by past experiences.

[09:10] Rob Dial: "When you're in love with somebody, there's an aspect of realizing that there are parts of myself from childhood... that you make me feel safe enough to work on those things with you."

Self-Love Journeys and Personal Growth

Lauren's Struggle with Negative Self-Talk
Lauren opens up about her battle with negative self-talk and how it impacted her happiness and physical health.

[27:05] Lauren Dial: "I was horrible to myself. It was an endless cycle... I was doing everything skincare-wise and became obsessed."

Implementing Self-Love Practices
To combat this, Lauren adopted rituals to reprogram her self-talk, utilizing malas beads and self-love mantras.

[29:49] Lauren Dial: "I would have to switch whatever I said about myself to something nice. I sat with my mala beads and repeated self-love mantras daily."

Rob's Insights on Self-Improvement
Rob emphasizes that self-love is foundational to loving others, highlighting that one cannot give what they do not possess.

[33:40] Rob Dial: "If we truly learn to love and accept ourselves more for all aspects of who we are, we can love others genuinely."

Vulnerability in Relationships

Rob and Lauren discuss the challenges and breakthroughs related to vulnerability within their relationship.

Overcoming Barriers to Vulnerability

[18:20] Rob Dial: "I'm curious your thoughts on being vulnerable... how it's progressed for you."

[18:46] Lauren Dial: "Once I realized I was withholding love, it was a huge shift because I could tell there was a wall building."

Therapeutic Intervention
They credit their relationship therapy sessions with John for helping them understand and navigate their vulnerabilities.

[20:14] Lauren Dial: "Therapy made me realize I was withholding love to align with what I thought Rob wanted."

Acceptance and Empathy

Viewing Others Through a Compassionate Lens
Rob shares his perspective on perceiving others as wounded children, fostering greater empathy and acceptance.

[34:25] Rob Dial: "See people as a child in a grown-up's body... someone isn't truly an adult but a little child that's wounded."

Lauren on Empathy and Non-Judgment

[39:53] Lauren Dial: "When your perception is shaped from different experiences, it allows for more empathy because you don't have to understand why someone is acting a certain way."

Practical Applications of Self-Love

Lauren's HeartMath Practice
Lauren highlights HeartMath—a technique combining breathing and focus—to connect with her emotions and reduce anxiety.

[33:55] Lauren Dial: "HeartMath helped me get out of my head and into my heart through breathing and connecting with my body."

Rob's Emphasis on Present Moment Awareness
Rob underscores the importance of being present, stating that presence anchors oneself against negative internal narratives.

[34:25] Rob Dial: "When you're in your head, you're almost never here, like physically. The only thing that's actually physically here is your body."

Conclusion: Final Definitions of Love

Wrapping up their discussion, Rob and Lauren offer succinct definitions that encapsulate their understanding of love.

[40:43] Lauren Dial: "Love is when you can get down to the true version of yourself and show kindness and compassion and care for someone else and yourself."

[41:00] Rob Dial: "Love is the state that is natural for all of us when we can get past the judgment of ourselves and the judgment of others."

Key Takeaways

• Self-Love is Foundational: Loving oneself is crucial before one can genuinely love others. Negative self-talk and lack of self-acceptance hinder the ability to form deep, meaningful relationships.

• Vulnerability Strengthens Bonds: Being open and vulnerable with a partner fosters trust and facilitates mutual growth and healing.

• Empathy and Non-Judgment Enhance Understanding: Viewing others with compassion, recognizing their struggles, and withholding judgment can lead to more harmonious and supportive relationships.

• Presence Over Perception: Focusing on the present moment and connecting with one’s emotions helps mitigate the negative impact of internal narratives and external judgments.

Engage with Rob and Lauren

If you found this episode insightful, consider sharing it on your social media and tagging Rob Dial (@RobDialJr) and Lauren Dial. For personalized advice or questions about relationships, love, life, or personal development, visit askrobandlauren.com.

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