Podcast Summary: The Mindset Mentor with Rob Dial
Episode: Who Speaks in Your Head?
Date: December 25, 2025
Host: Rob Dial
Overview:
This episode of The Mindset Mentor focuses on understanding, identifying, and transforming the inner voice that shapes our self-concept and influences our daily actions. Rob Dial unpacks where this voice comes from, how it affects us, and offers practical, actionable steps to consciously reshape our internal dialogue to serve our growth and well-being.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Understanding the Inner Voice
- Rob opens by pointing out that everyone's mind contains a constant "inner dialogue." Many are unaware of it simply because it's been present their whole lives.
- Quote: “If you guys are sitting there going, wait, I don’t know if I have an inner voice, well, that is your inner voice saying, I don’t know if I have my inner voice.” (03:06)
- Compares awareness of the inner voice to young fish not realizing they're in water, demonstrating how ever-present and unnoticed it can be.
- Quote: “It’s like they’ve been in water their entire lives, but they’re so young, they haven’t become aware to the fact that they’re surrounded by water all the time.” (03:44)
- Emphasizes the pivotal role of awareness and intention in changing the tone and content of this voice.
- Quote: “It is 100% possible to change this voice. It just takes our time and intention and attention in order to do so.” (05:20)
2. Where Does the Inner Voice Come From?
- Primary Caregivers/Parents:
- The majority of our inner voice is shaped by the ways our parents or guardians spoke to or around us. Even small, seemingly unremarkable moments can leave lasting imprints.
- Quote: “For most people, our inner voice is the same way that your parents spoke to you or around you when you were a child.” (07:12)
- Example: A single incident, like being scolded for spilling milk, could trigger a lifelong critical narrative (“I can’t do anything right.”).
- Society and Culture:
- Media, societal standards of beauty/success, and peer influences all contribute to forming internal expectations and criticisms.
- Quote: “We’re constantly bombarded with media, with culture, with norms, cultural ideas of what beauty is, of what success is, of what intelligence is.” (09:30)
- Children/teens often become “chameleons,” changing to fit in and internalizing outside opinions.
- School & Teachers:
- Teachers' labels (e.g., lazy, troublemaker) can stick, forming part of a child’s self-perception and inner dialogue.
- Quote: “A teacher can label a child… as lazy. And so that person can develop this narrative of I’m lazy. And they can think that they’re lazy forever.” (12:05)
- Peers & External Perception:
- References a quote often attributed to Calvin Coolidge: “I’m not who I think I am. I’m not who you think I am. I am who I think that you think that I am.” (13:50)
- We absorb and internalize what we perceive others think of us.
- Childhood Egocentrism:
- Children attribute too much responsibility to themselves (e.g., blaming themselves for parental divorce or neglect), creating self-critical narratives.
- Quote: “Children are very, very narcissistic… so they think that they’re responsible for a lot of things that happen.” (15:01)
- These beliefs, often based on misinterpretations, can linger into adulthood.
3. How Our Inner Critic Shapes Us
- Once established, our inner voice acts as a “lens” through which we interpret every experience, always seeking to reinforce its own narrative.
- Quote: “What we search for is evidence to prove what we think of ourselves and to make it true.” (17:30)
- Failing a test, a heartbreak, or any setback may be wrongly attributed to “something wrong with me,” continuously reinforcing negative beliefs.
4. Step-by-Step Process to Change Your Inner Voice
Step 1: Cultivate Awareness (20:11)
- You can’t change what you don’t notice.
- Journaling prompts: How do I speak to myself? What tone does my inner voice use? Whose words echo in my mind?
- Quote: “You cannot change something that you’re not aware of. And just like the fish in the water, many people… might not really be aware of what your inner voice is.” (20:17)
- Notice shifts in emotion as clues to automatic thoughts (cognitive behavioral therapy concept of “automatic negative thoughts”).
- Ask: “What was I just thinking?” when your mood changes.
Step 2: Identify and Challenge Old Narratives (24:24)
- Most beliefs are outdated “remnants of childhood.”
- Quote: “Almost all of your beliefs are completely outdated, and they’re just remnants of your childhood, but you just continue to carry them around.” (24:41)
- After identifying negative self-talk, challenge its truth and usefulness.
- Key reframing questions: Is this belief true? Where did it come from? Does it still serve me?
Step 3: Reframe Your Self-Talk (26:15)
- Replace harsh criticism with growth-oriented or self-compassionate statements:
- “Failure is just a part of learning, and it doesn’t define me.”
- “Learning something new takes time. Every mistake teaches me something valuable about how to improve.”
- “Taking care of myself allows me to show up fully for other people. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential.”
- Decide consciously how you want your new inner voice to sound.
- “Up until this moment… you have unconsciously built an inner voice… now is the time to consciously decide to change it.” (28:33)
Step 4: Build Affirmations That Work (30:00)
- Rob discourages “magical” or unrealistic affirmations (“Money’s flowing to me from all areas of the universe”) in favor of affirmations that are:
- True
- Empowering
- Present tense
- Quote: “There’s a three step process for creating affirmations. Number one, they need to be true. Number two, they need to be empowering. Number three, they need to be present tense.” (30:22)
- Examples:
- Instead of “I am fabulously wealthy,” try “I’m working hard every day to build more wealth for myself and my family.”
- Instead of “I am the best,” use “I am improving every day through consistent effort.”
Step 5: Repeat, Practice, and Take Ownership (32:27)
- Change is gradual and requires daily repetition and accountability.
- Quote: “This is your responsibility. Nobody else’s. You didn’t choose your inner voice from childhood, but now you have the power to change it.” (33:37)
- Consistent, repeated positive self-talk will reshape your mindset over weeks or months, not days.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On inner voice as environment:
“Most people are not really aware of their inner voice because it’s been around… their entire lives… it’s like the story of the two young fish…” (03:44) - On the formation of inner narratives:
“It can even be one moment… you drop the milk on the floor and … your parents get really mad… and your inner voice becomes, 'I can’t do anything right.'” (08:25) - On the role of society:
“From a child… you can see someone… on Saved by the Bell… and now you’re comparing yourself as an eight-year-old to a model.” (09:56) - On children’s egocentrism:
“Children are very, very narcissistic… so they think they’re responsible for a lot of things…” (15:01) - Quote on perception:
“I’m not who I think I am. I’m not who you think I am. I am who I think that you think that I am.” (13:50) - On affirmations:
“I always tell people, I don’t like affirmations that say, 'Money’s flowing to me from all areas of the universe.'… Your BS meter is going to turn that off.” (30:37) - On responsibility:
“You didn’t choose your inner voice from childhood, but now you have the power to change it.” (33:50)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 00:58 – Introduction to the concept of the inner voice
- 03:06 – Most people’s lack of awareness of their inner dialogue
- 07:10 – The role of parents and caregivers in shaping the inner voice
- 09:30 – Societal and cultural influences
- 12:05 – How teachers and school shape self-perceptions
- 13:50 – The influence of external perception and the “Coolidge quote”
- 15:01 – Child egocentrism and misattribution of blame
- 17:30 – How your inner narrative becomes self-fulfilling
- 20:11 – Step 1: Cultivating awareness
- 24:24 – Step 2: Identify and challenge outdated beliefs
- 26:15 – Step 3: Reframing negative self-talk
- 28:33 – Conscious decision to change your inner narrative
- 30:00 – Step 4: How to create effective affirmations
- 32:27 – Step 5: Repetition, practice, and personal responsibility
- 33:50 – Closing encouragement and empowerment
Closing Message
Rob wraps up by stressing individual accountability and the profound ripple effect of changing your internal conversation: “Change starts with your awareness. And it grows through consistent effort every single day, multiple times a day. And if you do that, your inner voice will change. If your inner voice will change, your actions will change. If your actions change, your life will change.” (34:00)
Actionable takeaway:
Become aware of your internal dialogue, challenge and reframe negative narratives, consciously construct and repeat affirmations that are true, empowering, and present tense—and take full ownership of your mindset transformation.