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The Mindset Mentor
Why You Are TIRED All the Time
00:18:33
Are you tired all the time, even when you’re “doing everything right?" In this episode, I’ll show you why your exhaustion might not be about sleep, food, or fitness at all—and what it’s really trying to tell you. Are you ready to stop procrastinating and break your bad habits? If so, I just opened the doors to Mindset 2.0—my full system to help you break through fear, rewire your identity, and follow through like never before. Discount disappears July 24th. Click here 👉 https://www.coachwithrob.com/enroll-a
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- [00:00]
Rob Dial
Hey, if you've ever wanted to be coached by me, now is your chance. I just opened the doors to mindset 2.0, which is a system designed to help you finally break free from procrastination, overthinking and that stop start cycle that's been holding you back. But here's the deal. The doors close in just a few days and the first to join are getting a massive discount plus access to exclusive bonuses that I've never offered before. If you've been waiting for a sign, this is is it. Go to coachwithrob.com right now. That's coachwithrob.com right now and I'll see you on the inside. The Mindset Mentor is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it at progressive.com, progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates pricing coverage match limited by state law. The not available in all states. Whether your child is trying to catch up, stay sharp or get a head start for the fall, IXL can make learning a seamless part of summer. IXL is an online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning, whether they're brushing up on math or diving into Social Studies. IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the US and is a great tool to keep learning going. My best friend's wife is an ex school teacher who uses IXL to to help her children homeschool at home and said it's been amazing for all of their learning. Make an impact on your child's learning and get IXL right now and the Mindset Mentor listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com mindsetmentor Visit ixl.com mindsetmentOr to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. Because I put out episodes four times a week to help you learn and grow and improve yourself. Because when you improve yourself, you improve your life. So that's what you want to do. Hit that subscribe button. Today I'm going to be talking about why you're tired all the time. And I'm not just going to be talking about sleep. I'm going to be Talking about some things you might have never even thought of before. But let me think. If you clicked on this podcast episode, if this intrigued you enough. There are some times in your life where you wake up tired, you go to bed tired, and somewhere in between all of that, there's at least one moment where you're like, oh, my God, I could probably take a nap right now. Like, I'm so tired. And it's every single day it happens, and you're like, I'm tired. I feel like I take a nap. I feel like you used another coffee. What's wrong with me? If this is happening to you, I want you to know that you're not. You're not alone, that's for sure. And you're definitely not broken. You might just be missing some of the really big signs that your life is putting in front of you that you need to change some things. And there are obviously physical reasons why we feel drained. Like, maybe you don't get enough sleep. Sure, maybe you're eating junk food. Yeah, that's probably not good. Maybe you have zero movement throughout the day. Nah, that's probably gonna make you tired as well. Maybe you have too much wine and not enough water. Yeah, all of those things are going to make you tired. All of those things. If you're not fully taking care of yourself, your body, you are going to be more tired. We're not really going to talk about that today, though. But what if you're one of the people who is trying to optimize everything and you're biohacking and you're doing, quote, unquote, everything right, but you still feel like you're not at 100%. You still feel like you're wiped out in some sort of way? I know I found myself like this years ago. I ate really healthy. I worked out six times a week, and I was like, why am I still. I get so much sleep. Why am I still so exhausted? Why do I need four cups of coffee a day? And what if it's not your body that's tired? What if it's your being that's tired? You know? And this is where it's gonna get much deeper. Because your exhaustion might not be about your body at all. It might not be about your sleep and not be about your food. It might not be about your water intake. Your exhaustion might be your body's way of trying to speak to you, and you're thinking that you just need to optimize another thing. In other words, your body can't speak to you. In words. So it gives you messages through feeling, because that's how the body communicates. And then we sit there and we're like, well, what do I need to optimize now? I need to get a cold plunge and I need to drink this type of water. I need to make sure that I have, you know, this type of organic thing. No, maybe it's your body speaking to you, but in the only way that actually can, which is through feelings. And that fatigue that you feel, that exhaustion, that stress, that anxiousness, those are some of its favorite languages of trying to speak to you. But maybe you're just missing the hidden messages that are there. And let's kind of pull back the curtain and talk about. There's three different types of exhaustion that I want to talk to you about, to really dive into, to hopefully see if we can figure out why you might be so tired all the time. So the first one is mental exhaustion. Do you ever feel like your brain has, like, 47 tabs open at one time and not one of them is even loading correctly? That's the mental exhaustion I'm talking about. Your brain feels like it's always just trying to load, but it's never fully getting there. And, you know, it can sneak up on you in many different ways, but it can sneak up on you. And, like, you're stuck in decision fatigue over, like, the tiniest things. Like you're trying to figure out what to eat for lunch, and you're like, ah, I don't know. I'm not. Maybe this. Maybe this, and you just can't really make a decision. Or maybe you've got, like, a really long to do list, and you know you've got to take action on it, but your brain just keeps, like, looping on one thing, and you can't concentrate on one thing at all. Like, your focus is just kind of all over the place. Or maybe you're, like, stuck on something in the past. Like you're rethinking something that you said at a meeting three days ago. Again, you're thinking about this thing. Here's something that's really wild with it, and I want you to understand is that your brain, if it's constantly just your brain as it's working, it's not just sitting there idly, you know, thinking about things. It's burning calories as you are thinking. One of the things that's wild that I've shared on this podcast before, is that professional chess players burn up to 6,000 calories a day during tournaments. 6,000 calories, that's three times what the average person does. And they're just sitting. Think about how much thinking can drain you. And so if you're an overthinker, if you're a ruminator, if you're the type of person that just can't get let yourself get past something that you did in the past, you're probably playing mental chess with your job and with your family and with your schedule, with your to do list and with your fears and with your limiting beliefs. But if we go even deeper, those all might be kind of using your brain power. But what if you're also bringing yourself to a job that you hate every single day? People always tell me, they're like, man, it's a lot of work to build a business. I'm like, yeah, it's a lot of work to build a business. It takes a lot of energy to build a business. It takes a lot more energy to go to a job that you hate every single day for the next 50 years. To wake up in the morning and have to get out of your bed when your alarm goes off, to know that you're going to go to a job that you don't enjoy or that's not fulfilling to you or that's not your life. It doesn't have to be a job you hate. It could just be a job that's not fulfilling to you, that doesn't feel like it's your purpose in some sort of way. Then you've got to drive there and you got to sit in traffic for 20, 30, 45 minutes. You got to go to the job and you've got to pretend like you want to be there, I guess you could say. And then you gotta drive back home, and then you gotta sit in that traffic again and you gotta go home and you gotta turn on Netflix and eat something just to turn your brain off from the fact that tomorrow you're gonna have to do it again. And it's not just today's dread. It's this looming thought in the back of your head, whether it's conscious or unconscious, of, I have to do this until the day I retire. I don't even know if I can retire, if I can even retire. I have to do this until the day I retire. So you're not just tired. You're also tired of, like, pretending. You're tired of tolerating a life that you don't love. You're tired of living a life that doesn't fit you anymore. Maybe that was something. That was that you like to do before, but you're just over it. You know, like a lot of times I talk to, like I talk to a lot of nurses and they're just like over it. Like, they loved being a nurse, they were younger. But it's just so many things. It's just they're overworked and they're underappreciated and they're just like, I can't do it anymore. You know, it happens a lot with teachers as well. A lot of teachers got into it because they love kids and they want to help people, but now they're just like, I can't do this anymore. And so just because you love something in the past doesn't mean you have to do it forever. And your brain knows it consciously, unconsciously. Like you're being, you know that it's time to move on and your body feels it. And so then you're like, why am I so exhausted? Yeah, maybe it's not the food that you eat, maybe it's not the sleep, maybe it's not the water intake. Maybe it's none of those things. Maybe it's like your being is just exhausted from doing this. And so that's the mental exhaustion that could be happening is it's, even though you're going to this job and you're doing it, it's kind of taking up more calories in the back of your mind. It's just constantly burning. Oh my God, I don't know if I could do this. I don't know if I could do this. I don't know if I could do this forever until the day I die. So that will exhaust you. So that's the first thing is that mental exhaustion. The second thing is our emotional exhaustion. You know what really drains us? People. People will drain the hell out of you. Not all people, but the wrong people will really drain you. The unfiltered, boundaryless, expectation loaded people that want everything from you. The negative people, they want just talk down about everything. There's a quote that I love and it's been said that Sigmund Freud said it. I don't know if he said it or not because there's some debate online, but doesn't really matter. The quote is amazing and the quote says, before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, make sure you are not in fact surrounded by assholes. So I think that's the, the best way of thinking about it is people will drive you crazy. So before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, make sure you are in. Make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes. So here's what emotional exhaustion might sound like. You might say something like, oh, my God, I don't, I don't even know if I want to go home for the holidays this year. Or like, every time my phone rings, I get anxious because it's him again. Or why does everybody need something from me, like, can I just get a break? Or if, like, my mom asked me one more time why I'm still single, I'm going to go insane. Those are emotional exhaustion. But let me be real with you, right? You're not a doormat. You're not a vending machine for other people's needs. And you can't keep giving from an emotional bank account that's already been overdrafted. You know, and so there's, you have to look at your life and realize that there's two different types of people in your life. And I always say there's vacuums and there's batteries and. We will be right back. 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Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com dial. Go to shopify.com dial. That's shopify.com dial. And now back to the show. You know, there's the batteries or people that you're around. You could be around for 15 minutes. You have a great conversation. They make you feel fired up. They're awesome. They support you, they're motivating in some sort of way. And you leave the conversation with them and you're like, oh my God, I feel better. I feel more excited about life. I feel like I have more energy now than I did before. That conversation with that person, that's a battery. They give you energy. A vacuum is someone that just sucks all of your energy from you. You can have a five minute conversation with them and you're like, I need a nap. Like, I don't know what to think about myself in my life or here, even. Even this. You can even think about having a conversation with them right now. And you're like, oh God, that is a perfect example of a vacuum. And so the, the number one indicator of how long somebody's going to live is not how well they take care of themselves, although that is important. Important not how much water they drink in the diet or any of those types of things. The number one indicator of whether, whether someone's going to live a long life or a short life is the quality of the relationships that they have. There was an 80 year study that Hard Harvard did on this, and they found out that the people who lived the longest had great close relationships. And the people who had toxic relationships in their life actually lived shorter lives than the others. So you can't tell me that that's not an emotional exhaustion. So that's number two. And the third one we're going to talk about is spiritual exhaustion. This is like the deeper layer, the deepest layer, the one that, that doesn't show up when you do your blood work or it's not in your sched. It's the one where like everything outside of you can look fine, but like, something feels off. Like, this is the one that I had when I decided to start the podcast. I decided to quit my job where I was making a bunch of money. And I, like, I had this spiritual exhaustion. And I remember my girlfriend at the time, who's my wife now, was like, hey, are you starting to get depressed? And I was like, I don't know. Like, I just feel like where my life is headed is not what I want. And I remember feeling this way, and I was like, something's gotta change. It's this ache that's in your chest when you think about your future. It's that tension that's like in your stomach when you're like, is this it? Is this all that life is? You know? And spiritual exhaustion happens when you're living out of alignment with who you want to be or who you're supposed to be. When you wake up and you're just going through the motions like you have been for the past 17 years in some sort of way. You're just like, I don't know anymore. Like, you're showing up in your life and everything looks great on paper and you might have a great family and a great, great bank account and you travel and you do things, but you're like, you're showing up with a version of your life where you, you think you're supposed to be and you're not necessarily who you want to be. And this is a deeper one. This one you really gotta kind of think about. It's very subtle. Like your soul, your being, your consciousness, the spirit, the thing that's behind all of this, knows better. And it's whispering. And, you know, as time goes on, it starts to yell, and it's like, this isn't it? And it's like, get me out of this life. And so let me say this loud and clear. You're not lazy. You're not failing. You might just be very misaligned with what you should be or what you want to be doing in this life. And this misalignment can feel like this chronic fatigue. And the reason why is because your soul, your being, whatever it is that you want to call it, is trying to give you the message of, like, dude, you need to do something different, because this ain't it. Sure, you, you know, you liked being an accountant for the first couple years you went and got your degree, and now you're going, oh, my God, I don't know if I could do this for another 40 years. I'd rather be doing something else. I'd rather be doing something that excites me. There are things that I love in this world, and I'm not getting any time to do them because I'm too busy working at something that I don't want to be doing. And so here's where we. Where we really start to work through it. Like, what do we do about this? Well, what I would recommend is not making any massive, like, don't just go quit your job today. But what I would do is start noticing these things. Like, become more aware. Start noticing, like, the small little things that start popping up for you of, like, ah, yeah. Like, I don't feel like this is right. So the first step is, like, notice what's draining you. Like, get. Don't get judgmental of yourself. Get curious. Ask yourself, like, what's the moment in my day where the energy tank, like, just hits empty? Or you could ask, like, you know, who in my life makes me feel heavier after talking to them? Or you could say, like, what do I just not love doing anymore? What commitments do I dread or avoid or secretly resent in some sort of way? Because exhaustion is often instant. It's like touching a hot stove. Like, that's the message for you right there. You don't need to get a journal a lot of times to know what burns. It's like, you just need to pay attention. When I think of this, I immediately feel exhausted. Okay, well, that's probably not something that should be in your life. So that's step number one. Step number two is to ask yourself, why? Why is my body reacting this way? When I think about doing this. Why is my body reacting when I go and do this thing? Why? You know, what is this fatigue trying to protect me from? You know, am I just. Am I just doing this because I've always been doing this? Or is this what I want to be doing with my life? Or am I doing this just to, like, keep the peace while losing my own? Like, you have to realize your body is brilliant. Like, your body does not lie. It doesn't beat around the bush. It doesn't care about your social calendar. It doesn't care about your boss's opinions. It doesn't care about your mom's expectations. It cares about keeping you safe, alive, and aligned. And so what do you have to do? Start listening more, because the answers are there. You know, your body's trying to shift you in different directions. So that's step number two. Step number three is to then identify what gives you energy. This is the fun part. Think about the things that actually give you energy, that actually nourish you in some sort of way, like being outside or watch. Going to a comedy show or making music or painting or dancing around your kitchen, too. You know, 2000s throwbacks. That's what we were doing last night. You know, I put on 2,000 throwbacks, and we were, like, jamming in the kitchen while I was cooking chicken, right? So it's like, that felt amazing. The baby was dancing, Lauren's dancing, I was dancing. Everyone was like, this is an amazing moment, right? Things like that you don't have. Like, that's not my purpose in life, but obviously it gives me energy. You know, creating something with your hands. Maybe it's going on a quiet walk. Going on a walk, period. Like, what gives you energy? And start to write them down and think about them and seriously, keep a list of them so that you can put them into your day. This is like your personal battery pack where you're like, okay, I'm going to do this in my day, this thing in my day, and this thing in my day today. Because they give me energy. And so you just ask yourself, like, how can I sprinkle more of this into my life every day, even if it's just like, five minutes at a time? And you don't have to quit your job or to move into the mountains to get your energy back. You just have to stop ignoring what your body's been begging you for. And so you know what this is really about is to start paying more attention to what's going on in your life. Start paying more attention to Your body, your body's the messenger. It's not asking you for another espresso. It's asking you for the truth. Like, it's saying, this isn't working. I don't feel safe here. I don't want to be around this person. You know, if you say yes to this, you're saying no to me. If you're, you know, you've been strong for too long, it's a good time to rest. Like, your body's trying to give you these messages. So maybe you're not fully exhausted. Maybe you're just not listening. And that, my friend, is the beginning to literally everything. And so what I want you to do when this podcast ends, take three minutes, do some deep breaths, put your hands on your chest, and just ask yourself, what am I pretending not to know? It's there. You know it. It's ruminating. It's in the back. And you ask yourself, what am I pretending not to know? The answer is there. You're going to find it, write it down, and do one thing today to move towards more of your peace. Because you deserve that. Not someday, you don't deserve it someday, you deserve it now. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me obdylejr. The only way this podcast grows is from guys sharing it. So if you'd share it, I would greatly appreciate it. And if you'd like to learn more about coaching with me, you could check out mindset 2.0 at coachwithrob.com, which is my step by step process to reprogramming, deprogramming in the first, reprogramming after that, yourself, so that you can change your life once again. Coachwithrob.com and with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.
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Unknown
Parents of tweens, if you're familiar with.
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Rob Dial
Far off drop offs. Dad, stop. Stop.
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Unknown
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Rob Dial
So good, so good, so good.
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Unknown
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Rob Dial
You know they have Marc Jacobs, Nike. Yes, just so many good brands.
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Unknown
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