Transcript
Rob Dial (0:00)
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Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com dial that's LinkedIn.com dial to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. I put out episodes four times a week to help you learn and grow and improve yourself. Because if you improve yourself, you will improve your life. And so if that's what you want to learn and grow and get better at, hit that subscribe button. Join the Journey Today I'm going to be talking about why you feel so lost in life. This episode today is not going to be like 5 quick hacks to do XYZ. This one's going to be more like a mirror to yourself so that you can see yourself in the mirror. You can see what is it I need to do to change my life and how do I get myself to be better. And I think that it's going to spark something up inside of you and I want to hit you with something at first that might sting just a little bit, but I promise you that it will land and you'll understand. As we go through today's episode, most of your problems in your life come from your lack of, of real connection with yourself. The hell does that mean? If I had told that to my 22 year old self almost 20 years ago, myself would have been like, yeah, okay, hippie, you don't know what you're talking about. I just need to work harder so I can become richer. That's what I would have thought at 22. But most of your problems, most of them, a large, very large portion of them, come from your lack of real connection with yourself. Most of the pain that you're experiencing in your life, the anxiety, the procrastination, the burnout, the, the people pleasing, the fear of failure, the fear of success, the imposter syndrome, those aren't the real problems in your life. They're the symptoms of the actual problem. The root of it all is that you have lost touch with you. You might be 40 years old and going, yeah, but I don't even know who the hell I am anymore. Okay, well then that's what we need to figure out through today's episode and through this, this path that I'm going to give you. When you're disconnected from you, nothing really feels quite right. Even if things are pretty good, even things that should make you happy. But the good news is, is that you're not broken. You're just kind of buried away under all of life over the past 10, 20, 30, 40 years. And so in this episode, we're going to be trying to dig you out a little bit. And so let's dive into it. You have to understand that you cannot fix anything that you don't feel most people. And this was me for the longest time in my life. I was living my life from like the neck up. I was trying to fix my life by rearranging all the external stuff. The jobs, the money, the diets, the calendar, the habits that I had, the time that I woke up in the morning, what my morning routine looked like, and I was trying to change all of the external stuff when what was really the problem was the internal. It's like trying to change the external stuff when the problem is really internal is like rearranging the furniture to make your house look better, but your house is on fire. Most of us are emotionally homeless in our own bodies. We don't trust ourselves. We don't know ourselves. So we outsource decisions to everyone else, and we go on Instagram to find the answers. We listen to podcasters like me to find the answers. I don't want to give you any answers. I wanted help you find your own answers. Or we go to our parents and we go to our friends and our partners, and we ask other people's opinions versus actually just going inward within ourselves to try to fix what's going on. And so most people are in their heads. That's where I was for a really long time, thinking, strategizing, analyzing. But they haven't actually felt anything in weeks or months. And some people listen to this podcast probably haven't really felt something that feels real to you in years. And so they're going, I need to make a realistic decision based off of data. But they're not making a decision based off of what they truly want. And so we try to fix our lives by becoming more productive. And we focus on what we do versus who we are in, you know, like, it's. The phrase is, you're a human being, not a human doing. So we focus on the do versus the be. So we need to be more productive. We need more routines, we need a new planner, we need a better diet. And you end up optimizing a version of you that isn't even the real you. It's crazy. I've done it. I have found myself here and caused multiple burnouts in my life. But you're trying to optimize a version that isn't even really you. But the core problem isn't your calendar. It's not your habits. It's that you're disconnected from your emotional guidance system, which is your gut, which is your body, which is your intuition, which is your true self. And so, you know, some of the red flags that you might be disconnected is maybe the type of person that overthinks everything, or you feel like you're kind of just a puppet, like you're kind of just performing life instead of actually living it. Or you might need constant validation or reassurance from other people or from Instagram or TikTok likes, or you're busy, but you're never really fulfilled. You keep asking people what. What you think they should do versus actually asking you. What you should do or you don't feel like you fully trust yourself or you never fully feel right in your life or in your body or you second guess your desires. Like, do I actually want this? Or like, should I want this? Is this what I want? And you, like, you don't. You don't really know what you need, but you can become overwhelmed and resentful from all of this. And so a lot of people are like, oh, I'm just lazy. And I'm like, you're not lazy. You're just disconnected from who you truly are and what you want to be doing in this world. When you find something that you. When you know who you really are and you find out what you really want to do, laziness is not a problem. So it's not laziness, it's not weakness. It's not any of that. It's just disconnection. It's like your life might not be in a bad place. Like, when I had my huge wake up in my life, like, things weren't necessarily bad, they just weren't right. And my intuition was like, dude, you need to get out now before it gets too late. You know, you can't feel what's right for you if you're emotionally offline. And so what you have to realize is like, let me, let me paint the picture for you so you can kind of understand this a little bit more. I want you to imagine your truest self, right? That is grounded, that is calm, that is wise, that makes the right decision. That's deeply intuitive. That is like a radio station. And it's broadcasting, it's always broadcasting. It's calm, it's clear, it's connected, it's direct, and it's broadcasting at all times. But you've got 37 other radio stations playing at full blast all day long. It's the voice of your parents expectations from childhood and maybe even today. It's society's checklist of success. It's hustle culture telling you to go faster. It's the inner critic that's comparing you to these strangers that just bought a Lamborghini on Instagram. All the stuff that's been placed on top of you since childhood, your true self is broadcasting, but all of these other frequencies are broadcasting at the same time. So it's so hard to hear, you know, it's so loud inside that you can't even really hear your own frequency anymore. And so what happens is with us being disconnected from our, from ourself, we make decisions that like, we choose careers that correct that. That. That. That impress other people, and then long term end up depressing you. Or you stay in a relationship that looks good. Or it might even, like, logically seem like, why don't I really like? Why is this relationship not good? It should be good. Like, this person's great. It looks good on paper, seems good, but it just feels wrong deeply inside of you. Or you keep doing, like, what's logical instead of doing something that feels like you should be doing it. Like the inside of you is screaming for something else. And this is really where burnout comes from, because this is big. Burnout is not about being tired or working too much. Burnout is the emotional exhaustion that comes from you being misaligned. It's the cost of living out of integrity with your true self. That's what real burnout is. You're not tired of doing too much. You. You're tired because you're doing too little of what you actually love. So what do you actually love? Well, let's figure that out. But first off, let me talk about real quick why you're disconnected in the first place. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you've kind of heard me talk about this before. But it's really important for you to understand this, especially if you've never heard this before. And this part requires compassion. You're disconnected not because you're weak or because you're broken. You're disconnected because you're intuitively brilliant. As kids, we're deeply connected. If you watch a toddler, they'll cry, they'll laugh, they'll spin in circles. They'll speak their truth like they are alive. They are unfiltered. They are the most free human you will ever see. But then, over time, we all learn, because we were all in that position at one point in time, we learn that our realness can get us in trouble. And that's where the psychological conditioning starts. We hear stuff from our primary caregivers or from teachers or from aunts, uncles. Oh, don't be so dramatic. Why are you so sensitive? That's not ladylike. Or big boys don't cry. You're too much. You need to be realistic. Be quiet. Children are supposed to be seen and not heard. Or I'll give you something to cry about. And so what happens with all of this is we go from our real, true version of ourself to an adapted version of what we need to be. And we mask and we mold and we shrink and we become chameleons. And what's crazy is in our society, we call it maturity, but really what it is is it is a disconnection from our true self. We lose ourselves to gain approval. And so as we grow up, we lose touch with what it is that we truly want because we don't know who we are. So we start to lose touch with what we want. We don't know who we really are. And it's no wonder why, myself included at one point in time. But so many people are walking around feeling anxious, feeling depressed, feeling unfulfilled, like, being like, is this it? Is this what life is like? If you've ever taken a step back? Like, I remember thinking to myself in my late 20s, like, is this it? Like, this is what it's supposed to be. This sucks. And we will be right back.