Revealed: Monocle’s new weekly quiz!

Summary

The Monocle Daily Episode: Revealed: Monocle’s new weekly quiz! Date: April 10, 2026 Host: Andrew Muller Guests: Robert Bound (Contributing Editor), Grace Charlton (Associate Editor, Design & Fashion)

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Episode Overview

This lively and very British-tinged episode of The Monocle Daily introduces a new format for the Friday show, weaving in a weekly current affairs quiz and a freshly-minted segment called “The Aestheticist.” Hosts Andrew Muller and Rob Bound, along with Grace Charlton, engage in witty banter as they recap the week's news, battle over quiz questions, and humorously dissect the aesthetics (or lack thereof) of golf. The episode closes with a “what we learned” segment and a preview of upcoming coverage from the UAE.

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Key Segments & Timestamps

1. Welcome & Setting the Tone (00:05–02:40)

• Andrew Muller introduces the Friday edition as a space for experiments and semiregular segments, promising “informative and entertaining” recaps.
• Rob Bound joins with theatrical humor, referencing Monocle history and the spirit of playful competition.
• Notable Quote:
  Andrew: “Will any of it work? Stick around to find out, etc.” (00:14)

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2. Launch of the “Daily Weekly Quiz” (03:07–18:32)

• The quiz is unveiled as a weekly Friday fixture, with each host bringing three questions about recent news—but neither knows the other’s questions. A tongue-in-cheek discussion unfolds on logistics (“plasticky trophy from the shoe repair shop”), and music and effects add flavor.
• Format:
  • Each asks three questions, points awarded for correct answers.
  • Focuses on topical events with a humorous spin.
• Notable Quote:
  Rob: “We’ve tried to do some fresh thinking to inject the brilliant spirit of the, of the, more serious spirit of the Monocle Daily from Monday to Thursday...” (03:27)

Highlights and Sample Questions:

• [Space Mission - Artemis 2 & Jim Lovell]
  Rob quizzes Andrew on which phrase astronaut Jim Lovell did NOT say in a message to Artemis 2 crew.
  Rob: “He didn’t say: ‘Everything we need, Earth provides.’ That was said on this trip by Christina Koch...” (07:34)
• [Iranian Embassies’ Social Media]
  Andrew quizzes Rob to spot the fake embassy tweet responding to Trump. Andrew: “C, Sorry, sir, this is an IHOP.” (08:28 — correct answer, not a real embassy post)
• [Strait of Hormuz Gas Mileage]
  Rob asks how many times an F-150 could cross the Strait on one gallon. Andrew: “I’m going to say once. I think the Ford is a hefty vehicle.” (10:08 — correct answer)
• [White House Prediction Markets]
  Andrew asks what staff were told to stop doing—betting on prediction markets, following suspicious windfalls post-Maduro’s capture. Andrew: “Any implication that administration officials are engaged in such activity without evidence is baseless and irresponsible.” (13:04)
• [Grand National / Furlong Etymology]
  Rob quizzes Andrew on the origin of “furlong”—it’s from the Old English for the length of a furrow in one acre, not “Sir Jeremy Jack Furlong.” (15:38)
• [World’s Oldest Tortoise Name]
  Andrew asks the name of the 193-year-old St. Helena tortoise—it’s “Jonathan.”
  Andrew: “Its name is in fact Jonathan...so I can make an extremely labored joke...attached to some sort of crypt. Yes, it was a shell company.” (17:45)

Score at Finish: 1-1; the quiz ends in genial anticlimax.

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3. Segment: The Aestheticist – Golf Under Scrutiny (19:16–28:44)

• Rob Bound introduces “The Aestheticist,” a (potentially recurring) panel presentation dissecting the style and visual codes of something in the news—in this case, the US Masters golf tournament.
• Grace Charlton savages golf fashion:
  Grace: “There is no sport that is as least aesthetic as golf.” (20:32) Grace: “I think everyone looks slightly dumpy… It’s really twee. It’s also kitsch, but in a sort of irredeemable way.” (22:54)
• The debate covers:
  • “Argyll, tweed, cardigans”—symbols of the British elite
  • Golf’s attempts to become “cool” (e.g., skinny trousers, oversized belts), but failing at it
  • Discussion on whether golf should embrace its stuffy, singular identity instead of modernizing
• Rob defends golf styles:
  Rob: “I’ve printed off some pictures here for you guys to sift through and judge… I hope I’m more in the realms of Seve Ballesteros.”
• Iconic fashion examples discussed:
  • Seve Ballesteros (classic), Payne Stewart (flamboyant), John Daly (“looks like a bouncer who’s lost a bet”), Rory McIlroy (oversized belt)
• Advice from Grace: Grace: “They need to find better fitting trousers… Maybe go for some oversized Yoji Yamamoto style… You’re not actually playing a sport; you may as well just dress for the cat.” (27:46)
• Banter about the function of a dress code and inevitability of looking silly.

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4. "What We Learned" – Satirical News Recap (29:41–35:59)

• Andrew delivers Monocle’s signature, baroque round-up of oddball and serious international news:
  • Spotlight on Estonia’s first pig impersonation contest and the strict judging criteria (“authenticity, power and entertainment value”) (29:42)
  • Ongoing confusion and spin over the US-Iran ceasefire and the reopening (or not) of the Strait of Hormuz (31:32)
  • Quirky US news: a FEMA official claims to have been teleported to a Waffle House in Rome, Georgia—recounted as a “bemusingly undersold triumph” (32:29)
  • Persistent rumors and satire about the White House’s interactions with the Vatican (“the Avignon Papacy not being a forgotten goth group”) and Donald Trump’s potential post-presidency plans
  • Notable Quote:
    Andrew: “Perhaps of the possible post-presidency plans of Pope Donald I, though there seems little overlap between MAGA world and the Catholic faith. After all, one is a creed whose devoted adherents are currently pledged to the infallibility of a 70-something American with a lot of gold furniture. And the other is—fill it in yourselves. Must we do all the work?” (34:40)

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5. Preview: Monocle’s UAE Coverage Next Week (35:59–38:51)

• Editorial Director Tyler Brûlé and Editor-in-Chief Andrew Tuck check in with a preview of special broadcasts from Abu Dhabi, Dubai, and Sharjah.
• Discussion of what “normal” means in the UAE during/after the Iran ceasefire, and of covering news hotspots with on-the-ground nuance.
• Notable Quote:
  Andrew Tuck: “It's also fascinating… to get a perspective from where you stand that day.” (38:28)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Andrew (on the new format): “Will any of it work? Stick around to find out, etc.” (00:14)
• Rob (introducing the quiz): “We’ve tried to do some fresh thinking...with a weekly quiz. How are we spelling weekly? Hey.” (03:27)
• Grace (on golf fashion): “I think everyone looks slightly dumpy…I use [‘dumpy’] sparingly, I promise.” (22:54)
• Rob (on quiz stakes): “Some sort of plasticky trophy from the shoe repair shop down the road on Paddington street at the end of the series.” (05:41)
• Andrew (satirizing news confusion): “We are yet to learn what the last month of war had actually been in aid of, unless it was the establishment of some sort of joint venture to control the Strait of Hormuz between US President Donald Trump and whoever is presently in charge of Iran.” (31:42)

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Episode Flow & Tone

• Language and Tone: Wry, light-hearted, and self-deprecating with Monocle’s signature blend of sharp reporting and playful erudition. Recurring in-jokes, literary allusions, and gently satirical takes on both news events and cultural symbolism.
• Host Chemistry: Muller and Bound share a long collaborative history, sparring with affection and old-hand wit, while Grace brings a younger, sharper edge to aesthetic discussions.
• Engagement: For listeners new to the show, the episode gives a strong sense of the personalities involved, the international news focus, and Monocle's distinct editorial voice.

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In Summary

This episode introduces Monocle’s new Friday formula—an unrehearsed news quiz between editors, joined by tongue-in-cheek yet insightful fashion and design criticism, and capped by a uniquely Monocle news review. The interplay of highbrow wit and topical analysis makes the episode a must-listen for fans of sharp, stylish current affairs journalism—especially those partial to British banter and global quirks.

For further context: Next week Monocle airs live from key cities in the UAE, promising both on-the-ground reporting from the region and the same globe-trotting, multi-perspective storytelling listeners value.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the Monocle Daily, first broadcast on 10th April 2026 on Monacle Radio.

[B]

How much attention have you paid to the week's events? Significant and less so. Why do golfists dress like that? And a look ahead to Monocle Radio's imminent week of shows. From the United Arab Emirates, I'm Andrew Muller. The Monocle Daily starts. Hello and welcome to the Monocle Daily. Coming to you from our studios here at Midori House in London. I'm Andrew Muller. It's a somewhat new look, or at least new sound. Friday Daily. Will any of it work? Stick around to find out, etc. And. But we will have our reliably informative and entertaining summary of what we've learned this week. Stay tuned. All that and more coming up right here on the Monocle Daily. This is the Monocle Daily. I'm Andrew Muller and I am joined for almost all of whatever the heck is about to ensue by my fellow contributing editor, Rob Bound. Rob, welcome to the Monocle Daily.

[C]

Cue applause here. I thought you wrote that in the script. But sadly the FX guys back there haven't managed to come up with the goods. You. I understand, Andrew. By the way, it's lovely to be showing the airwaves with such august talent on the Monocle. The brilliant Monocle Daily. I've been getting into it, doing my research.

[B]

Only just now. Thanks, Rob. We've been doing this for years.

[C]

I understood you wanted a sort of a posse of giggling sycophants.

[B]

I have been asking that for many, many years. Along with ideally the foreign desk branded giant pointy foam hat, which I think there would be a market.

[C]

I think there'd definitely be a market for that. So sadly, Tom Edwards has arranged a 48 year old bloke in white jeans to be your.

[B]

I mean you work with what you've given. I've learned that by now. I did.

[C]

I did the lefty to your pants show.

[B]

Well, exactly, but it is. This is exciting, Rob, because I think I'm. Not only are we both contributing editors, which is just one of those magnificently grand. I've been drinking to that since 5pm grandiloquent non titles. But we have both been with this outfit more or less since the start, I think.

[C]

Yes, indeed. So I was the founding culture editor in 2007 and did that for almost 12 years and still like, I don't know, like a big shark in a shallow pool circle Monocle and Monocle Radio still, they're dangerous waters, but someone police them.

[B]

So we are Going to try and do something a bit different herewith with the Friday. With the Friday Daily.

[C]

Your gesticulations are wasted on the listening.

[B]

I have also been saying this. How would you sum up what we are going to attempt to do? We are about to uncork the first of what will hopefully be an array of semi regular segments. But how would you sum this up?

[C]

We are going to reach into my dusty back catalogue formerly working in entertainment television. You mentioned giggling sycophants. A posse thereof. My first job was on TFI Friday working for Chris Evans who you will remember from his radio days as quite enjoying.

[B]

Were you one of the tittering sequences?

[C]

I've been paid to laugh. It's fine. And also much of it was quite funny. So I've sort of reached into a dusty. A dusty filing cabinet and brought out some. Some formats that frankly weren't good enough to be on. No, we've tried to do some fresh thinking to inj the brilliant spirit of the. Of the if ser. More serious spirit of the Monocle Daily from Monday to Thursday and to pick up on some of those things with a weekly quiz. How are we spelling weekly? Hey.

[B]

Well, I mean, yes, we do have, and I will shortly be pointing to the production booth, some jaunty quiz music to cue it up. But yes, this is what we're going to call the daily weekly quiz. We're off to a rattling start there. If it goes on long enough, it could be the daily weekly fortnightly quiz or the daily weekly fortnightly date.

[C]

I mean people are just gonna want it hourly on the hour, every hour instead of the news.

[B]

The possibilities are limitless. Let's have the jaunty quiz music. That's amazing. I mean this is a big box ticked Rob. Because not only. I mean having my own sort of entrance theme is in my fervid desires only to, you know, you know those old school bylines where you. You have the person leaning on their own name at the top of the column. I always wanted that. But that's. That's for the magazine editors.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Shall we get into it? Because the format of this.

[C]

Well now you've. Now you've got you standing behind your dais. I notice you put on your glittery jacket. I've just seen you shimmying down a spotlit staircase. Andrew. It's lovely to be on the show.

[B]

Oh yeah, I forgot all that stuff. Anyway, take it as red shimmied shimmering jacket stuff. But the format is going to be. We each have three questions which we written and we will ask each other in turn. I need to make this absolutely clear to the listeners. We have not rehearsed any of this, as I suspect is about to become painfully apparent. Neither of us know what the questions are. It's going to be really hilarious if we've written three extremely similar questions for each other. But they are questions addressing the events of the previous week is the idea.

[C]

Indeed. We have not lost the spirit of the daily in that respect. And we're going to go back and forth, aren't we? I think we just tot up. We're going to tot up the. The points. Okay, Point for a correct. No points for just turning up. And there'll be some sort of plasticky trophy from the shoe repair shop down the road on Paddington street at the end of the series.

[B]

Good enough. Right, who's going first?

[C]

Shall I kick off as this was my bad idea? Go right ahead. Okay, so I know you're a bit of a space watcher. Okay. I've read a couple of books from you of your recommendation of written by Apollo astronauts back in the day. So. Question one for Andrew Miller. On the inaugural daily weekly quiz during this week's Artemis 2 space mission, the crew were awoken by a message from the late Apollo astronaut Jim Lovell as they approached the far or dark side of the moon. Despite the obvious temptation, he didn't say now you know what Pink Floyd were banging on about, but he did know how to deliver a zinger. Which of the following things did he not say? Houston, we've had a problem. Please be advised there is a Santa Claus. Everything we need, Earth provides or welcome to my old neighbourhood.

[B]

Which did he not say?

[C]

Which of those four things did he not say?

[B]

I'm gonna say he did not say because I suspect astronauts of being a somewhat superstitious bunch. I think the phrase Houston, we have a problem is probably not something you want to hear even in jovial circumstances when you are in a tin can drifting through the inky blackness of space. So I'm going with.

[C]

Are you going with that?

[B]

Option one.

[C]

Are you sure?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I hate to disappoint you. He was the famous voice that said, houston, we've had a problem on Apollo 13. That was Jim Lovell.

[B]

Did he say it again this time though?

[C]

No, no, no. This was. This was. This was. No, he didn't. No, this was a recorded message. The late Jim Lovell.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. So that was it. He was so late. He was it. So he actually.

[B]

What?

[C]

He didn't. What? He what? He didn't Say, was everything we need, Earth provides. That was said on this trip by Christina Koch when she wasn't fixing the loo on the Artemis 2.

[B]

Sobering. Sobering. We were supposed to have a sound effect for me getting it wrong. Let's have it.

[D]

There it is.

[B]

Okay, fantastic.

[C]

I'm raring to go.

[B]

Okay, this question. Not all of my questions are multiple choice format only. This one is, in fact. But you have four choices. Similar thing because you've got to pick the odd one out. So the question is this. Which one of the following was not a genuine social media post by an actual Iranian embassy in response to US President Donald Trump's somewhat intemperate demand that Strait of Hormuz be reopened? A, we've lost the keys. B, swearing and throwing insults are how sore loser brats behave. Get a grip on yourself, old man. C, Sorry, sir, this is an IHOP. D, seriously, think about the 25th Amendment. Section 4. Which one of those A, B, C or D? Was not.

[C]

Was not. Okay, so you've got a nut. We've got A. I think it's the third one. I don't think. This is not an ipop. I think. I mean, also, by the way, the brilliant creative writing and verbiage of whoever's in charge of their Twitter feed or whatever it is, is quite astonishing. I loved all the answers. I think the reference to an IHOP is a jaunt too far, even for official Iranian standards.

[B]

Rob. That is correct.

[C]

Okay, okay.

[B]

The live audience, who are very definitely real, enjoyed that. Yes. A, we've lost the keys. Was the embassy in Zimbabwe. B, get a grip on yourself, old man. Was the embassy in India and recommending 25th Amendment, Section 4, which is, of course, the section of the US Constitution under which the vice President and Cabinet can remove the President if he goes bonkers. Was South Africa.

[C]

That's brilliant. And I've. Obviously, you're ahead. Now, I was going to relieve you of those answers if you. If you didn't know, because obviously I knew all of those as well.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

Tick, tick and tick. We're staying in that neck of the woods, as we possibly presumed we might. For my second question to you, Andrew. So here we go. At its narrowest, the Strait of hormone is 39km wide. If it boasted a bridge, how many times could a Ford F150, America's most popular pickup truck, drive across it on a single gallon of increasingly expensive gasoline? Is it once? Is it twice? Is it three times? Or is it. Do they make an amphibious model yet? Please.

[B]

So 39 kilometers. I'm going to say once. I think the Ford is a hefty vehicle. That is. I mean, I'm assuming this is sort of just normal freeway traffic.

[C]

Yeah, this is normal. Yeah. This isn't like bombing it in first gear.

[B]

Yeah. I would be careful with the phrase bombing it. I'm going to say once.

[C]

Well, that sounded like you made it. The answer is indeed, once. An entry level Ford F150 does an average of 32 kilometres or 20 miles to the gallon. So if you wanted to make the return crossing, you'd have to chat up a nice forecourt attendant and get your Iranian riyals out of your back pocket.

[B]

Do you think Iranian petrol stations have those big inflatable wavy arm guys? Always, always be a huge fan of them.

[C]

Let's hope so. They might be dressed slightly differently. In more sober colors, perhaps? Yeah.

[B]

Monochrome.

[C]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Black hat on and stuff like that. Can I. But the. The best selling car. So that's the best. Best selling pickup truck in Iran. The best selling car. That's the best selling pickup truck in America. The best selling car in Iran is the cyber teeper. Me neither. And that does 33 miles to the gallon in cities, 42 on motorways. So they could drive there and back with, let's call it, gay abandon. Maybe not again, if you're in Iran.

[B]

Yeah, a big hello to all our listeners, etc. Question two for you, Rob. And again, we are. We are orbiting around similar themes, but this is not multiple choice. The question is, what have White House staff been told to stop doing that they were obviously absolutely not doing? Anyway, what have they been specifically told this week to stop doing?

[C]

Is it. I'm thinking this is something obviously to do with the vanity of the President. And is it.

[B]

Is it, ish.

[C]

Is it perhaps taking little snapshots of him looking less than brilliantly hirsute, perhaps, or embarrassing lifted shoes, perhaps this sort of thing? Is this photographing the President?

[B]

Perhaps that is a reasonable swing, but it is incorrect. The actual answer.

[C]

You're not suggesting that Donald Trump is not vain, are you?

[B]

No, clearly he is. But that is not the answer on this occasion. The actual answer is betting on predictions markets. Because somebody made half a million dollars on polymarket at the capture of President Maduro of Venezuela shortly before the ceasefire in Iran was announced. At least 50 completely new accounts made sudden bets on that happening. The White House spokesperson said any implication that administration officials are engaged in such activity without evidence is baseless and irresponsible. What I want to know and frankly slash suspect that he had a few bob on the White House issuing a statement which contained the word implication.

[C]

Yes, exactly. New. New accounts spring up as we speak, Andrew.

[B]

Yeah, no, fantastic. I mean, who knows, Rob, this time next week, people might be betting on the daily weekly quiz, which right now, as we go into the final round, could go either way. It's one all.

[C]

It's one all. Okay, so we're gonna stay in the land of betting. Actually, for my third and final question for you, Andrew. Tomorrow, Saturday, Britain's most famous horse race, the grand national, takes place at Aintree. At four miles and two and a half furlongs, it's one of the longest races of the season. A furlong is about 220 yards or an 8/8th of a mile. What is the derivation of the word furlong? Is it. Is it hunting terminology for the distance that a fox and therefore its fur could be seen from a chasing horse? Is it too. Is it named after Sir Jeremy Jack Furlong, a horse breeder and key architect of the standardization of racing distances in the early 18th century? Is it C. I like to go from 2 to C. Yep, yep, yeah. The old English word fur, meaning furrow and is meant to be the length of a furrow in one acre of a ploughed field. Or is it finally a Mongolian word that translates roughly as too far away and pertains to the distance at which it's no longer possible for a nomadic herder to coax his half tame horse back towards him and is now used in general parlance in Mongolia? Which of those four might the word furlong be derived from?

[B]

I'm disappointed that one of the options was not named after Paul Furlong, the somewhat hapless Chelsea striker of the early

[C]

to mid-1990s, possibly a relation of Sir Jeremy Jack Furlong.

[B]

Well, this is the thing. That's the one I'm going for. I think that that has a whiff of plausibility about it, given that so much of our just general architecture is named after minor English aristocrats. Indeed, most of the capital cities of my home country are named after minor English aristocrats. So I'm going to go with. What was his name?

[C]

Sir Jeremy Jack Furlong.

[B]

Okay, is this where you tell me I'm right or he's someone you made up?

[C]

Okay, so, no, he's entirely fictional. I thought, I thought you might, you might grab that one. Sydney, by the way, is very first name terms, isn't it? Yeah, Sydney's.

[B]

It was actually a surname.

[C]

All right.

[B]

Lord Sydney.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And like literally every Australian who has ever lived, I have not the least idea who he was.

[C]

Big Bill, Canberra, on the other hand, we're all over him. So it's actually the old English word furniture, F U R H meaning furrow. And it's meant to be the length of a furrow in one acre of a ploughed field. That is where it comes from. Presumably from pre standardised horse racing where you point to point across rough terrain.

[B]

I'll be damned.

[C]

So there we go.

[B]

That leaves us with the last question, Rob, at which point you could snatch this. It occurs to me even now that there is possibly a fault with the format here in that were I a spiteful and hyper competitive individual, which, let's face it, I am, I could just insert something obviously completely impossible, which there is no correct answer to, or which you wouldn't know and would at least get away with a draw. However, I can't think of anything that impossible off the top of my head, so I'm going to go with what I've written down. So here is question three.

[C]

Decent of you.

[B]

This is question three. And this is for the inaugural victory in. I mean, if you don't get this right, what is this? Like penalties? We just keep going until. Until somebody gets it. Let's not do that until.

[C]

Until someone switches off the studio lights.

[B]

Exactly. Okay, but here it is the CR question 3. This week, rumours of the world's oldest living and land animals death.

[C]

Oldest living an.

[B]

I'll try. How about I read that sentence again this week, rumours of the death of the world's oldest living land animal turned out to be greatly exaggerated. He is a 193-year-old tortoise who lives on the island of St. Helena.

[C]

Maybe.

[B]

Did he meet Napoleon do those.

[C]

Ah, damn. I was gonna guess it. That might be his name.

[B]

Actually, I think he may have just missed Napoleon. But what actually is his name? We've ruled out one. So you literally have only the entire taxonomy of male names to choose from.

[C]

I think he might have been misexed as a young tortoise. And I'm going for Josephine.

[D]

Ooh.

[B]

Cause you.

[C]

How would you. Would you be able to turn a tortoise upside down and jiggle with his.

[B]

I wouldn't even know where to. That. That is incorrect. But it's actually not a bad swing. You had the correct number of syllables and the first syllable. Absolutely right. Its name is in fact Jo Nathan. And I've really. I have really only included this joke because. Or included this question so I can make an extremely labored joke about the fact that the story turned out to be attached to some sort of crypt. Yes, it was a shell company. Well, that brings us to the first and depending. I can't quite read our head of radio's expression.

[C]

He's doing that.

[B]

Possibly.

[C]

He's doing that sort of flat palm across the throat.

[B]

Possibly. Last daily weekly quiz. I may see you next week for this, Rob. We will be back very shortly with a whole new. Right. That absolutely horrible, horrible jazz sting was what we arrived at for a segment which you have christened Rob. And I'm blaming you for this because I'm now going to have to read it out. The Aesthetic. Aestheticist. Aestheticist. Aestheticist.

[C]

This is. Yeah, so yeah, yeah.

[B]

I mean, we are joined for this by Grace Charlton, who is Monocle's associate editor. Brackett's Design Ampersand Fashion.

[A]

That's me.

[B]

Hi, Grace. We will have more from you shortly. Rob, what is the Aestheticist going to be about?

[C]

Aestheticist, Andrew and Grace is a new feature we possibly do every week. Again, let's see if contents may have settled in transit from one week to the next in which we take a piece of imagery from the week. We take something like, for example, we're going to do a sporting event. For this week's one. We're going to basically judge the aesthetics of something. The look, the style and the vibe of an event or a well known thing. We could, for example, in previous weeks have chosen Pete Hegseth in his slightly over Americanized suit detailing.

[B]

I mean, I'm thinking actually we should have done Pete Hegseth this week because I'm not sure we're going to get that many more chances anyway.

[C]

So we pick something to pieces and judge it on its aesthetic merits. It's the US Masters Golf Tour tournament. It's on right now. Now, this is something that both of you have expressed huge excitement about and shared with me. Your excitement so far.

[B]

I wouldn't say it was so much excitement as Grace, I don't know about you, I would characterize it more as indifference tinged with hostility.

[A]

I think for me there is no sport that is as least aesthetic as golf. So when Rob came to me with this proposition of like we're gonna discuss the aesthetics of something and it's golf, it seemed like an oxymoron from the get go.

[C]

I feel like I'm doing the sort of the defense on this then really,

[B]

you and I think, Rob, this is where we need to out you to our listeners as something of a golfist. You, you, I put it to. You play golf.

[C]

I do play golf. Poorly enough to really be a golfist in the other sense. Someone that hates golf, I suppose. But, but yes, I'm here to defend the aesthetics, however, of the sport that you won't see too much. I mean, the Augusta national is where they, they bust in azaleas from the tropical gardens of the world to make it look like they've spouted up overnight. It's supposed to be the most beautiful golf course in the world. I think it's a little bit too manicured, but the style. But I sort of like the ersatz countryside of a golf course. Okay, I'm a country boy from Sussex. I quite like real countryside. But is it as beautiful as when it's got bunkers cut into it and little bridges over. Little bridges over lakes and things like this. This is this.

[B]

And lots of gin. Sozzled UKIP voters in red trousers wearing stupid hats with pom poms on them. Rob, when you are playing golf, do you wear plus fours and a st. Hat with a pom pom on?

[C]

I'm pretty. No, I'm fairly, I'm fairly. I'm a bit more like. I gave you some, some notes in here. I'd like to, I've, I've printed off some pictures here for you guys to, to sift through and judge. I'd hope that I'm more in the realms of sevy Belasteros, the classic 80s quite handsome Spaniard who was equally well dressed. I hope I'm more in that realm rather than Ronnie Corbett with his sort of plus fours and little. Yeah, pom pom hat, stick on, ginger wig underneath.

[B]

As long as we are mentioning. Rob, put these to the judgment of the much better qualified Grace. As long as you, we are mentioning the famously diminutive British comedian Ronnie Corbett. Would you like to do some sort of Jimmy Tarbuck style joke about how I just played nine holes with Ronnie Corbett, he fell in six of them, et cetera.

[C]

I think, I think you've teed it up and I, I, Someone else has hit it off the. It went straight down the middle.

[B]

Andrew Grace. What. What has either caught or greatly offended your eye in the printouts Rob has brought along.

[A]

I just think, first of all, golf not really a sport and you can tell from the clothes, because there's no form, simply because there is no function needed. You know, that old adage of form follows function. I think everyone looks slightly dumpy. I hate to use that word. I really use it sparingly. I Promise. It's really twee. It's also kitsch, but in a sort of irredeemable way. And I just, I think the codes of, like, you know, the visors, the Argyll, the tweed, the cardigans, is just like these signifiers of the British elite that I can't just not like, not bristle against, you know, does.

[C]

It doesn't make you think of a sort of a warm, cosy fire.

[B]

You're trying to pitch this to two people robbed with massive colonial chips on their shoulders.

[A]

But then even, even if you, like, transport it to Florida, which is the spiritual home of Gulf, really, I just think of how bad the timelines are. You know, the sort of socks up and the polo shirts, and it's just. It, like, sends shudders through my spine.

[B]

So, Rob, seriously, because you are the case for the. If we're the case for the offense, you're the case. Whatever. You're the case for golf. Which of these looks do you actually like?

[C]

So, as I say, I think. I think Seve Ballesteros there. He's got just a classic slacks and sweater vibe going on.

[A]

Yeah, sorry.

[C]

It's decent colors. He wears it quite well.

[B]

I think it's relatively inoffensive.

[C]

We're going to look at Jason Day.

[A]

He's the picture here. Okay, fine. He's Australian. Australian excellence we've got to support. But I just think even if you're trying to make something like golf cool, it just doesn't work. Like, there's nothing effortless about this.

[B]

This is a fair question. Does golf, Rob, and apologies if these are very entry level questions. This is a whole area of human endeavor to which I have simply paid no attention on the grounds that I'm not interested. Does golf do that thing of trying to be cool and trying to appeal to the K kids?

[C]

Definitely. So, yeah, absolutely. There's kind of. When the skinny look was very much in fashion. We've got Rory McElroy, who's on your first piece of paper there. So Rory has gone for the. The sort of skinny jeans over oversized belt kind of vibe. It's not. It's super entry. It's. It's too ski. I'd suggest it's too skinny.

[B]

I was just gonna say it's too

[C]

built a guy to carry that off comfortably.

[B]

It looks like they didn't have any trousers that fit.

[C]

Exactly, exactly. So that. So that's. I think that's. That's a case for the prosecution. And. And most of these are. Apart from Jason Day. I just said that I'VE picked some. I picked someone out so that Grace can whack them off the tea.

[B]

But is it one of those things? And this is a semi serious question. And Grace, I'd be interested to know what you think about this as well. See, I'm already far more interested in golf than I thought I was ever going to be. That. A bit like when. When the royal family, when the British royal family tries to adjust to the modern world, let some lighting on the magic move with the times. It's invariably a total. Its whole strength is that it is nothing to do with anything else. Should golf have, I guess, the nerve and the sense of purpose to do that? To just go, by golly, we are going to wear baggy plus fours and colorful jumpers and silly hats like, who's that bloke in the blue and yellow?

[C]

That's. That's Payne Stewart, the American golfer. He won the US Open once. And that is his sort of signature look of ironizing the great. The august traditions of.

[B]

But is he ironizing it or is he just leaning all the way into it? Grace, what do you think?

[A]

I just think he looks a little bit stupid.

[C]

So he's wearing the colors of the Swedish flag, you might say.

[A]

It's so codified. I can't. I actually can't look at it. It's offensive to my eye.

[C]

I think Grace has gone cross eyed. I think.

[A]

I'm really sorry. Much like the royal family, I think it's time to move on. You know, let's get rid of it.

[B]

You want to get rid of like the royal family and golf. Wow.

[C]

Okay. All right.

[B]

Robespierre Certain. Is there nothing in here at all you like, Grace? I mean.

[A]

Okay. I do like wraparound sunglasses, which John Daly I think is wearing.

[C]

Oh, John Daly. Yeah. He's the big. He's the big sort of honey monster, isn't he? When you. There's Dumpy and there's John Daly, right?

[A]

Yeah. What.

[B]

What he looks like a bouncer who's lost a bet is what he looks like. What is going on with the trousers here?

[C]

Oh, he's, you know, he's living his. Living his best life. He's. Again, I would suggest he's ironising for the. For the purposes of sponsorship, the grand. The quintessential traditions of the great game.

[B]

I think we do have to give the last word on this to Grace because you are professionally involved in the judgment of Brackett's design Ampersand fashion. Is there. Is there any advice you would give any of these men in These pictures, in terms of how they should conduct themselves, perhaps not at this master, but at next year's.

[A]

I think they need to find better fitting trousers. I think better fitting trousers. I think all of these just look really unflattering and I don't know, maybe it's because they all have to do that horrible little golf squat, so nothing would ever really look good. But I just maybe like go for some oversized Yoji Yamamoto style, like Japanese flowing trousers, like just, you know, you don't. You're not actually playing a sport. You may as well just dress like for the cat,

[B]

a muumu, perhaps a caftan.

[A]

No, no, no, Andrew, that's not what.

[C]

On the it's not a sport front, it makes me sweat. I mean, you know, what's the definition?

[A]

Do you wear a vest when you play golf?

[C]

A vest?

[B]

Yeah, with the Pringles, actually. Yeah.

[A]

What do you wear when you play golf? Paint a picture.

[C]

I'm sort of. I'm sort of. I'm sort of this guy and this guy.

[B]

I'm sort of.

[C]

Classic polo shirt, cotton chinos. Also, a dress code is a good thing to have, isn't it? Otherwise it's terrifying. Otherwise anarchy, isn't it? Otherwise.

[A]

Spoken like a true elitist.

[B]

That's why we're all wearing top hats. Grace.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Grace Charlton and Rob Bound, thank you both for joining us. I shall see you at the newsagent's at 4am to collect the reviews. Next on today's show, it's time for our weekly calculation of how much the wiser the last seven days have left us. We learned this week that later this month the Estonian settlement of Tartu will host Estonia's first ever pig impersonation contest. No, it's more of a squeal thereafter. It says here in the contest rules. That's why we're playing the duelling banjos bit from Deliverance, one of the subtle yet meticulously excogitated cultural allusions for which the what we learned news review every Friday on Monocle Radio is justly rare. Renowned.

[C]

Just get on with it.

[B]

We learned anyway that a three person jury will select Estonia's premier pig like squealer based on authenticity, power and entertainment value. And that contestants are at liberty to incorporate into their performance movement. Role playing as a pig, presumably. And a short comic skit. Yes, entrants will be at liberty too. Hamilton it up, though we have not learned and to be honest, do not much care if there are points deducted for being boring or indeed added for sty.

[D]

All

[B]

we were, to be even more honest, basically hoping that a somewhat laboured setup to a succession of frankly underwhelming porcine puns hogging the stage is that anything might enable us to postpone by a few merciful minutes our embrace of the inevitable. Because. We learned that the United States had either won a crushing victory, our troops, our American warriors, deserve the credit for this day, but God deserves all the glory, or suffered a humiliating defeat. Iranian union. Iranian solidarity is a very, very important factor to achieving this victory for Iran. But at any rate, that there was now a ceasefire. Let's give you a live look now at the White House. This is where President Trump is right now and already declaring today a, quote, big day for world peace. Well, this after the US And Iran agreed to a two week ceasefire. Unless there wasn't. Tonight, the ceasefire is under fire amid confusion over what the U.S. u.S. Israel and Iran have actually agreed to and that the Strait of Hormuz was back open.

[A]

Iran has agreed to open the Strait

[B]

of Hormuz, except to the extent that it isn't. The Iranian State News Agency had stated

[C]

that the Strait of Hormuz was once

[B]

again closed to oil traffic. So we learned, in sum, that we are yet to learn what the last month of war had actually been in aid of, unless it was the establishment. Establishment of some sort of joint venture to control the Strait of Hormuz between US President Donald Trump and whoever is presently in charge of Iran. I asked him if he was okay with the idea that Iran would maintain control of the Strait and charge a toll. And he said to me, maybe it will be a joint venture. And I said, a joint or US Iran venture? He said, yes, it's a beautiful thing. But we learned that there may be a way for tankers and their cargo to avoid these Strait of Hormuz altogether. For we learned that in a bemusingly undersold triumph, the present US Administration had mastered teleportation.

[D]

I can't wait to try this.

[E]

Tell me more.

[C]

See where this goes.

[B]

We learned that Greg Phillips, currently head of the Office of Response and Recovery in the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Good luck, America. Seriously had been reminiscing of his experiences being beamed up, down, and specifically to a Waffle House in Rome, Georgia. Make a note of the Rome aspect. It's going to come up again later. Foreshadowing. That's what we're doing.

[A]

Okay. Rome foreshadowing. Right.

[B]

We learned, however, that Phillips did not recall the event fondly. And while he is hardly the first person to have found themselves bewildered that they are for some reason in a Waffle House. He can claim that his specific journey was unusual.

[D]

And I end up at a Waffle House like 50 miles away from where I was. They said, where are you? I said, a Waffle House. They said, waffle House where? And I said, waffle House in Rome, Georgia. I said, that's not possible. You just left here like a long way to go.

[B]

And we learned that this was not Philip's first such as I was on

[D]

the phone, oh my God, what's happening? And I was landed about 40 miles away in a ditch outside of a Baptist church in a little tiny town just where you cross over the border,

[B]

who among us, etc. But. We learned that the US Administration was undertaking still further endeavors in the metaphysical. For we learned that Phillips was not the only member of said US Administration confronting Rome. Stick with us. This will seem very clever in a minute or so.

[A]

Yep, got it.

[E]

Rome wrote it down.

[B]

We learned, and a caveat here, that the reporting is thus far from outlets whose word we for one whimsical news review, would not necessarily take to the bank. But we're rolling with it because it amuses us. So to do that. The next country to have come up on Donald Trump's 51st state raffle we after Canada, Greenland, Cuba, Venezuela and Iran, is the Vatican. We learned that US officials had lent on the Catholic Church to be more supportive of President Trump and had even by way of or else menaced the Holy See's ambassador to the US with the spectre of the Avignon Papacy, which is not a forgotten goth group who opened for Susie and the Banshees in like 1987, but the 14th century interregnum in which France took charge of the church until it got with the program. We learned therefore, and perhaps of the possible post presidency plans of Pope Donald I, though there seems little overlap between Maga world and the Catholic faith. After all, one is a creed whose devoted adherents are currently pledged to the infallibility of a 70 something American with a lot of gold furniture. And the other is fill it in yourselves. Must we do all the work? You're listening to the Daily on Monocle Radio. Finally, on today's show, we head to our Zurich hq. Editorial Director Tyler Boulay and Editor in Chief Andrew Tuck are off to the United Arab Emirates, where they'll be hosting a special week of shows from Abu Dhabi, Sharjah and Dubai all next week ahead of departure, they sent us this preview of what to expect.

[F]

Anderson bags are packed. Emirates is waiting. Etihad is waiting. We are on our way to the UAE at, of course, an interesting time here. We are in the midst of something that looks like a ceasefire. We have at the same time also a place. We were just out there recently. We've had insi, our correspondent, the region, reporting day in and day out. And. And I guess we're going to be landing and looking at, yes, an unfolding story, but also something which has been ongoing, a place that, of course, we're close to, has been functioning. But we know on the flip side as well, it's also been oddly represented since the start of this. I mean, I'm sure if you said to someone, oh, I'm on my way to Dubai right now, they'd be like, well, how are you getting there? Because we thought all the flights were only going one direction.

[E]

Well, that's exactly what happened. I've been telling people that we're heading out to the Gulf and lots of people are. I didn't know the flights were still on. Is it safe to go now? You were just there a few days ago and you wrote a great dispatch saying, actually there's. It's an interesting take on modern warfare, because if you have the best defenses in the world, if you are able to mostly protect yourself from falling shrapnel, even then actually life can go on in a really interesting way. And that the Emirates in particular have been very good, as you've pointed out about. About only kind of alerting people really in the vicinity of a potential problem. And so much of the country's life has managed to go on, not everything, as we know. And that will be the interesting bit to gauge how much is ticking along pretty normally, what are the challenges they're going to be facing over the coming weeks and days. And I think that we have such access there now. It's going to be extraordinary.

[F]

Tyler, across the week from Monday, bright and early, 10 o' clock UAE time, 7am, London, 8, of course, on the continent here in Europe, we're going to be in Abu Dhabi across Monday and Tuesday from Saadi at island, also from the heart of downtown as well. Then we make our way to Dubai, then we're going to jump over to the Emirate of Sharjah and then week is going to be rounded up again in Dubai and just a variety of voices, but it's going to be also a good old globalist like it normally is, because we also have elections this weekend in Hungary, so that will be part of it as much as usual, of course. Bouncing all over the globe.

[E]

Yes, we've got very nimble over the recent months, whether it was going to Greenland or going to other events around the world, of broadcasting from a hotspot, from a place that's really in the news, but also making sure that we bring along all the other stories and we'll be throwing back to London to the likes of Emma to make sure that we're covering all of these key topics. It's big news week and also it's also fascinating, I think, even on the bigger news stories that are not in the region, to get a perspective from where you stand that day. So it'll be interesting to see does what's happening in Europe still have an impact impact while you're in the Gulf as well.

[F]

You heard it here, listeners. Andrew Tuck, Tyler Brulee in Dubai, Abu Dhabi and Sharjah on the Globe list all next week. Join us.

[B]

And that is all for this edition of the Monocle Daily. Thanks to Robert Bound and Grace Charlton. Today's show was produced by Tom Edwards and Hassan Anderson and researched by Josefina Astrid Nagla Gomez. Our sound engineer was Elliot Greenfield. I'm Andrew Muller here in London. The Daily returns at the same time on Monday. Thanks for listening. Have a great weekend.