The Moth Radio Hour – Holiday Special 2014: Monkeys, Megachurches, and First Elves
Date: December 23, 2025
Host: Kathryn Burns
Featured Storytellers: Simon Doonan, Mark Redmond, Ophira Eisenberg, Taylor Negron
Overview
This heartfelt and humorous holiday special showcases four distinct personal stories that orbit the themes of tradition, family, transformation, and misfit magic. Each storyteller delivers a live, note-free tale recounting unlikely Christmas miracles: from an outsider’s adventure decorating the White House (and weathering a political storm), to a spirit of generosity at a Vermont megachurch, to a Jewish girl’s quest to see Santa, and finally, a California Gothic encounter with monkeys, rock stars, and the lingering shadow of Charles Manson.
Key Story Summaries & Discussion Points
1. Simon Doonan: “First Elf” – The White House Holiday Debacle
[02:56–15:49]
Main Points
- Simon recounts his surprising rise from British immigrant and mischievous window dresser to being chosen as the (first) “elf” tasked to decorate the Obama White House for the holidays.
- Emphasizes the tension between his whimsical vision and the gravity of American holiday tradition.
- Involves a participatory project: sending hundreds of tacky silver balls to community centers for creative decoupage with “American monument” themes.
- Scandal erupts when a political blogger exposes, out of the hundreds of ornaments, a few featuring Andy Warhol’s Mao, a drag queen (“Hedda Lettuce”), and Barack Obama pasted onto Mount Rushmore.
- Launches a right-wing media frenzy: Simon is accused of introducing a “communist agenda” and “anti-family values” into the White House, resulting in death threats and widespread internet outrage.
- Simon reflects on the two kinds of people: those who “make everything fabulous” (the elves) and those who criticize from the sidelines.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Jackie Kennedy’s crystal balls were up here... Nancy Reagan’s luscious red ribbons were down here... Barbara Bush’s dangling orbs were over here.” – Simon Doonan, [02:56]
- “As I stood there between Mrs. Obama... and Desiree, so wonderful... I realize at that moment, oh my God, I am the first elf, right? I’m the first elf.” – Simon Doonan, [08:29]
- “Window dresser introduces communist agenda... nothing could be further from—I'm such a relentless capitalist shopping lunatic.” – Simon Doonan, [13:51]
- “There are elves that go around and make everything fabulous... and people who sit blogging and tweeting about the efforts of the first group on their ever widening asses.” – Simon Doonan, [15:06]
- “No holiday is complete without at least one drag queen and a bunch of elves!” – Simon Doonan, [15:43]
2. Mark Redmond: “Spirit Moves in a Megachurch” – A Lesson in Generosity and Humility
[21:23–31:55]
Main Points
- Mark, an executive director for a nonprofit serving homeless youth, describes moving to a Vermont suburb and his initial wariness of the local “Hollywood” megachurch.
- Preconceptions challenged when the church’s young congregants donate necessities to his organization, culminating in a personal gesture from a grieving young girl, Emily, whose brother died of a heroin overdose.
- Emily donates her late brother’s things, including a sentimental Bible, to a needy boy at Spectrum, and her family continues to support Spectrum annually in her brother’s name.
- Mark experiences a “Zen moment” of clarity regarding his own prejudice and is moved by the genuine kindness and vulnerability of the church community.
- Over the years, the church’s generosity proves invaluable to Spectrum’s mission.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “The first thing I saw clearly was my own blindness, my own foolishness, my own prejudice. And then I saw... maybe this church is not the kind of church that I prefer... but there are a lot of really good people in this church.” – Mark Redmond, [28:38]
- Emily’s mother: “The thought of a group of guys going out, having a good meal together, laughing and enjoying themselves will do me good. I wish we could be doing that with my son. But I’m blessed to be able to do this small thing, loving memory of him.” – quoted by Mark Redmond, [30:14]
- “I did something I never thought I’d do. I went to one of their services... Was it Hollywood? Yeah, it was a little Hollywood... But it was very sincere. I found it very meaningful and very spiritual.” – Mark Redmond, [31:29]
3. Ophira Eisenberg: “A Jewish Girl’s Christmas Quest”
[32:36–36:25]
Main Points
- Ophira, a Jewish girl growing up in Canada, is obsessed with Christmas and Santa, feeling left out by Hanukkah in a mostly Christian school.
- She recalls attempting to infiltrate the Santa lineup at the mall through a strategic public tantrum.
- When her chance comes, instead of asking for toys, she blurts out her secret: “I’m Jewish.”
- Santa, unfazed, leans in and replies, “That’s okay. So am I.”
- A wave of confusion follows (“Santa’s Jewish! Santa’s Jewish!”), prompting comic chaos and security intervention.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Hanukkah sucks only in comparison to Christmas. It only sucks when you are in a public school and you are the only Jew and everyone else is doing Christmas, and you’re the only one... lighting a fucking candle.” – Ophira Eisenberg, [33:17]
- “My mother would be like, ‘No, you can’t go see Santa. We’re Jewish.’ And I would be like, ‘Well, who brings us presents? Because the answer, as far as I was concerned, was nobody.’” – Ophira Eisenberg, [34:02]
- “I looked up to him, and I just went, ‘I’m Jewish.’ Like, I fell apart. I totally went off script. And he was like, ‘That’s okay. So am I.’” – Ophira Eisenberg, [35:12]
- “Santa’s Jewish. Santa’s Jewish. Santa’s Jewish.” – Ophira Eisenberg, [35:22]
- Her mother: “Well, of course he is. Who else do you think works on Christmas?” – Ophira Eisenberg, [36:13]
4. Taylor Negron: “California Gothic Christmas – Monkeys & Manson”
[38:07–52:52]
Main Points
- Taylor Negron describes his quirky, glamorous, and haunted Los Angeles childhood, shadowed by the Manson killings (“Helter Skelter was all anybody could talk about”).
- Longs for a monkey; Uncle Ishmael brings home a discarded circus monkey, Carol, as a Christmas miracle.
- Taylor endures the monkey’s wild ways (“that’s your monkey,” says his mother after chaos unfolds).
- On Christmas night, a van full of long-haired rockers and hippies (including his cousin, Chuck Negron of Three Dog Night) arrives. Taylor’s childhood terror of hippies is punctured by the warmth and revelry that ensue.
- A memorable moment: the “premiere” of “Joy to the World” (a.k.a. “Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog”), wild dancing, and the monkey, in circus fashion, juggling ornaments and stealing the show.
- Ends on a note of transformation: even the most harrowing nights can pivot into joy, family, and music.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “I was born in Los Angeles in a house in a canyon that was in a nest of palm trees that casted these thin, unmoving shadows like prison bars. It was very California Gothic. I am very California Gothic.” – Taylor Negron, [38:07]
- “My parents, they were always getting dressed up and leaving... My father came in and said, ‘I want you to close all these doors and windows. I don’t want these hippies to come in here and de gut you.’” – Taylor Negron, [40:09]
- “Carol was my most cherished early Christmas present. But Carol was not the only unexpected visitor that season.” – Taylor Negron, [43:52]
- “On that cold, windy night, everyone stood up and started to dance... Jim Morrison was dancing the jitterbug with my grandmother on the coffee table.” – Taylor Negron, [47:59]
- “And that Christmas, the last one that I was ever a child, I learned a very important lesson... no matter how horrible your day is and no matter how scary your night is, everything can turn on a dime and with a knock on the door.” – Taylor Negron, [52:20]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [02:56] Simon Doonan’s White House holiday tale begins
- [08:29] Simon’s recognition: “I am the first elf”
- [13:51] Media “Communist agenda” scandal explodes
- [15:43] Simon’s lessons (“elves” vs. “bloggers”)
- [21:23] Mark Redmond’s church story starts
- [28:38] Mark’s moment of clarity (“my own blindness”)
- [32:36] Ophira Eisenberg’s Christmas longing
- [35:12] “I’m Jewish.” “That’s okay. So am I.”
- [38:07] Taylor Negron’s California Gothic childhood
- [47:59] Christmas night: “Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog” leading to joy and glee
- [52:20] Taylor’s closing lesson: “everything can turn on a dime”
Conclusion & Tone
Throughout the episode, the storytellers blend wit, vulnerability, and wry observation. Each story pivots on personal transformation—overcoming scandal, prejudice, exclusion, or fear—with the warmth and humor characteristic of The Moth. As Simon Doonan puts it, every holiday, like every story, is better with “one drag queen and a bunch of elves.”
For More Holiday Magic
- Photos (including Hedda Lettuce ornament) and more stories: themoth.org
- Pitch your own holiday story: 877-799-MOTH
Happy Holidays from The Moth Radio Hour!