The Moth Radio Hour: “Look Away—Or Don’t”
March 24, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The Moth Radio Hour, hosted by Kate Tellers, explores the nuanced boundaries of seeing and not seeing—when we choose to look away, when we’re compelled to witness, and the personal, even communal consequences each choice can bring. Through five powerful, personal stories, the episode delves into topics ranging from uncomfortable neighborly encounters, family censorship, public conflicts, grief, and the magic of reconnecting with heritage. The storytellers grapple with moments when looking away feels protective or polite, while at other times, confronting the truth—no matter how difficult—brings clarity, beauty, or healing.

Key Stories & Insights

1. Window into the Neighbors’ Lives (Ali Griswold)

[03:42 – 09:27]

• Situation: Ali’s flat window looks directly into her neighbors’ shower, providing an uncomfortably intimate view—including frequent “enthusiastic shower sex.”
• Initial Solution: Crafts a highly apologetic, British-style note politely alerting her neighbors to their exposure (“Dear next door neighbors, I’m so sorry for the awkwardness of this note…”).
• Result: No change—either the neighbors ignore the note or never see it. When the flat is sold and new, even taller neighbors move in, the problem persists, with Ali’s friends (the new neighbors’ acquaintances) intervening only after witnessing the spectacle themselves.
• Resolution: Curtain is finally installed, marking “the opposite of the Berlin Wall falling.” The original apologetic note, it turns out, had been displayed on the fridge the whole time.
• Notable Quote:
  • “It is a historic day in my flat. The curtain is going up. It is like the opposite of the Berlin Wall falling.” — Ali Griswold [08:32]
• Theme Tie-In: The polite effort at indirect confrontation is almost comedic in its futility, but ultimately, community and connection prevail over awkwardness.

2. Fast-Forwarding Through Life (Misha Merrill)

[09:59 – 15:38]

• Situation: In 1990s Miami, a mother restricts her children’s viewing by copying and meticulously editing VHS movies, removing anything “sexy or violent,” sometimes entire portions.
• Effect on Misha: He grows up with movies as surreal, plot-less collages, and experiences confusion and humor when watching them in their original forms as an adult.
• Notable Moment: The realization that censored movies (“Grease” missing its romance, “Wizard of Oz” without flying monkeys) mirrored his own scattered, sexless family life—a home where sex wasn’t discussed, despite a mother who was both “Kurdish and Muslim,” with all the “baggage” that entailed.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “When I think about watching a movie as a kid, I really can’t remember one movie that I watched that didn’t at some point just freeze with two characters on screen, clearly about to kiss, and then frantically fast forward…” — Misha Merrill [12:55]
  • “Her movies reflect a lot more accurately my life: they’re scattered, they make absolutely no sense, and there’s very little sex in it.” — Misha Merrill [15:27]
• Theme Tie-In: Protectiveness and censorship may mean looking away, but can leave lasting, curious imprints on a child’s sense of normalcy and narrative.

3. Crone Spice Girls & Airplane Drama (Madeline Berenson)

[19:42 – 26:22]

• Situation: On a flight to Portland, Madeline sits in a “trio of crones” (‘Sporty Granny,’ ‘Mystic Granny,’ and her own ‘Thrift Store Granny’ persona) beside each other, observing a young couple bicker incessantly in the row ahead.
• Climax: As the woman berates her partner loudly and cruelly, the “grannies” hold hands for comfort, then intervene:
  • Mystic Granny: “You are not the only person in the world. There are other people on this plane, and your childish, selfish tantrum is upsetting all of us. It's time for you to stop.” [23:56]
  • Sporty Granny to Dan: “I don’t care how pretty she is, it is not worth that abuse. And you know what? You deserve more.” [24:37]
  • Madeline adds: “That’s not love. That’s not love.”
• Aftermath: Dan replies, “Mind your own fucking business.” [25:23] The couple continues their toxic dynamic, and the intervention leaves the grannies feeling deflated, questioning how or whether to intervene in what they see.
• Notable Moments: The “Spice Grannies” evolve into a “Granny Greek Chorus”—trying and failing to rewrite the scene for the better.
• Theme Tie-In: The episode questions the right moment to bear witness or to directly intervene, and how easily lines blur between compassion and intrusion.

4. Bearing Witness to a Brother’s Final Flight (Liz Mills)

[29:37 – 35:58]

• Situation: Liz describes her brother William, an escapist, thrillseeker, and ultimately a BASE jumper. After William dies jumping from the Eiger, Liz goes to handle the aftermath in Switzerland.
• Climax: She receives her brother’s GoPro SD card, which holds the last moments of his life. After months, she watches the footage, bracing for horror but instead experiences a kind of closure—witnessing William’s unfiltered joy, camaraderie, and the beauty of his final moments.
• Resolution & Insight:
  • “William’s final gift to me was he showed me a way that healing has many different paths, some of which are bananas, like jumping off mountains and all of them are hard, but it’s worth it.” [34:29]
  • Recognizes that “extraordinary beauty” exists “on the other side of bravery,” and that sometimes, witnessing rather than turning away helps transform grief.
• Theme Tie-In: Choosing to face the excruciating truth of a loved one’s death, Liz reframes trauma as a window into understanding and honoring a complex legacy.

5. The Magic of Family Songs & Unseen Connections (Boots Lupinui)

[39:47 – 53:48]

• Situation: Boots, a lifelong musician and aspiring storyteller, embarks on a quest to recover and document lost “heirloom songs” from his ancestral home of Kohala, Hawaii, inspired by legendary Hawaiian documentarians.
• Attempts & Setbacks: After early momentum, the project is plagued by dry spells and self-doubt, until, in a last-minute breakthrough, two songs emerge from descendants of the same family—though the women, both heirs to the songs, have never met.
• Resolution: Boots arranges for the two women to meet for the first time in their shared family graveyard. The moment, filmed but not recorded—leaving their conversation strictly for them and their ancestors—becomes the true center of the story.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “That conversation belongs to their family.” [52:19]
  • “I saw real magic. No top hat and no rabbit…Real magic.” [53:20]
• Theme Tie-In: True witnessing sometimes means recognizing what shouldn't be seen or told beyond the circle that owns it. The episode ends with a performance of “Lovely, Lovely Gardenia” by the Kohala Mountain Boys [53:48 – 55:29], a living artifact of the story’s magic.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Sometimes the right thing to do is to look away and other times we need to look life straight in the eyes.” — Kate Tellers [02:56]
• “I started with ‘I’m sorry’, which, after several years of living in this country, I think is the best way to start a conversation with any British person.” — Ali Griswold [04:58]
• “I suggested this problem was more urgent than dinner and maybe we could send them a text.” — Ali Griswold [08:06]
• “My mom’s versions, they reflect a lot more accurately my life: they’re scattered, they make absolutely no sense, and there’s very little sex in it.” — Misha Merrill [15:27]
• “Not that there’s anything wrong with Barry Manilow.” — Madeline Berenson [20:35]
• “Meanwhile, back in row eight, we grannies weren’t feeling quite so spicy anymore.” — Madeline Berenson [25:29]
• “Healing has many different paths, some of which are bananas, like jumping off mountains, and all of them are hard, but it’s worth it.” — Liz Mills [34:29]
• “That conversation belongs to their family. And it gives me chicken skin. Even now.” — Boots Lupinui [52:19]
• “I saw real magic. No top hat and no rabbit… Real magic.” — Boots Lupinui [53:20]

Structuring of the Episode

1. Introduction & Theme Set-up [02:18–03:42]
   • Host’s story of shielding her children from a traumatic accident, and the show’s framing question: when to look away, when not to?
2. Five Main Stories
   • Personal storytelling interspersed with host commentary, reflection, and signposting.
3. Closing Performance [53:48–55:29]
   • “Lovely, Lovely Gardenia” by the Kohala Mountain Boys, anchoring the final story in song.

Takeaways

• The episode weaves together the humor and discomfort of accidental voyeurism, the blurry lines of parental protection, the risks and responsibilities of public intervention, the transformative potential of direct witness to trauma, and the hidden links that reunite families across time.
• Through storytelling, The Moth illuminates how every choice to look—or to look away—shapes not just the stories we share, but the ones we carry forward, sometimes in song, sometimes in silence.

For Further Listening & Engagement

• Visit TheMoth.org to listen to more stories, pitch your own, or attend live events.
• Featured storytellers: Ali Griswold, Misha Merrill, Madeline Berenson, Liz Mills, Boots Lupinui.
• “Lovely, Lovely Gardenia” performance closes the episode [53:48–55:29].