The Moth Podcast
Episode: Love Hurts
Guest Host: Anna Martin
Date: February 6, 2026
Episode Overview
In this special Valentine’s Day edition, Anna Martin (host of the Modern Love podcast) guest-hosts The Moth to explore the multifaceted pain and healing in love. The episode features three live, true stories from Moth stages—delivered by Patricia Dunphy, Peter Aguero, and Rita Brent—each highlighting how love can wound, transform, and ultimately connect us. Nestled between the stories are insightful reflections and a candid conversation with longtime Moth director Jennifer Hickson about the art of love storytelling.
Key Segments and Discussion Points
1. Anna Martin's Introduction
[01:59]–[02:49]
- Anna introduces herself and the episode's theme: "Love Hurts."
- Emphasizes the complex spectrum of love: heartbreak, disaster, and the healing power of connection.
- Sets up the episode's format: three true stories about the agony and resilience of loving.
2. Story 1: Patricia Dunphy — "Hands Held, Hands Lost"
[02:49]–[07:22]
Summary
- Patricia stands at the bedside of her dying partner, Alan, reflecting on their 20-plus-year love story, bookended by the final, painful moment of letting go.
- Hands become a recurring motif, symbolizing love’s presence through life’s stages—dating, travel, celebrations, illness, and loss.
- Patricia shares the searing pain after Alan's death but expresses eventual gratitude for having experienced such great love and loss.
- Concludes with tender moments of connection with her daughter and granddaughter, signifying enduring love beyond loss.
Notable Quotes
- “I just never thought I could love anybody the way I loved this man, Alan.” — Patricia [02:56]
- “I would get under my dining room table. I wanted to be someplace where something could protect me. I was just in so much pain.” — Patricia [06:28]
- “But I never would have felt that pain if I hadn't felt that love. Without that great love...I wouldn't have had those same feelings on the opposite end of the spectrum.” — Patricia [06:52]
- “My granddaughter crossing the street, she looked up at me not that long ago holding my hand, and she says, ‘Patricia, do you miss Grandpa?’ And I said, ‘Yeah, but there's other hands and there's other love for me to give. And I’m grateful for it.’” — Patricia [07:12]
3. Reflection: Processing Love Through Storytelling
[07:22]–[15:16]
Anna Martin & Jennifer Hickson in Conversation
- Anna reflects on her work at The Moth, witnessing how turning life’s painful moments into stories helps people process and heal.
- Jennifer discusses the nationwide phenomenon of “Love Hurts” story slams—New York’s tradition of lighthearted heartbreak vs. the Midwest’s epic tales of sorrow.
- Both note how love stories both warn and inspire:
- “There’s stories to aspire to...and there are the skull and crossbones. Like, gosh, look, all the warning signs.” — Jennifer Hickson [10:35]
- Both laugh about their own convoluted ways of signaling interest or virtue—from reading thick books on the subway to writing checks in public to attract wealthy partners.
- Conclude that while love is messy and can’t be lived with—or without—it's a noble quest that’s always worth it.
Memorable Moments
- Anna reveals her past attempts at literary virtue-signaling while dating:
- “I was constantly, like, trying to project, I don't know, this version of myself so I could attract the type of person I thought I wanted. And it...worked one time.” [13:49]
- “May I share just something adorable?” — Jennifer [13:11], highlighting the tender camaraderie and history between the two women.
- “You can’t live with [love]. Can’t live without it. You really can’t.” — Anna [15:02]
- “It’s a noble quest. It’s a miserable existence. And it’s totally worth it.” — Jennifer [15:07]
4. Story 2: Peter Aguero — "Dr. Fine and the Long Shot"
[17:14]–[26:05]
Summary
- Peter recounts a college-era crush on a “Dr. Fine” (Sarah), a promising, athletic, and beautiful woman he meets in a sketch comedy troupe.
- He humorously describes his awkward approach to dating: endless failed first dates and convoluted logic to ask out women.
- At a party, emboldened (and tipsy), he repeatedly flirts with Sarah, stacking up boasts:
- “Dr. Fine, you should come home with me tonight. I gotta tell you, I’m very skilled. I have references. And these are the kind of women that stay up late. We could call them right now.” — Peter [22:51]
- Despite bravado, nothing happens that night. But he later asks her out, leading to a magical 18-hour first date.
- Years later, wryly acknowledges life’s unpredictability in relationships but celebrates enduring partnership with “Dr. Fine,” who’s still waiting for him at home.
Notable Quotes
- “I was the party marines. I was the first in, first drunk, last to leave. That’s the way I ran my life.” — Peter [17:18]
- “There are people in your life who are co-stars, and there’s people in your life that are just kind of like cameos and people that show up for one or two seasons and then go move on to something else.” — Peter [25:31]
- “But tomorrow when I get on a plane...and I walk in, she’s going to be sitting on the couch waiting for me to get home.” — Peter [25:57]
Memorable Moment
- Peter’s mix of self-deprecating humor and wistful nostalgia captures the nervous, improvisational drama of falling in love in young adulthood.
5. Story 3: Rita Brent — "Lesbian Rita, GI Joe, and Freeing Love"
[27:00]–[38:57]
Summary
- Rita recounts marrying a “mighty good man” (her Army bandmate “GI Joe”) in Mississippi—a marriage both a celebration and an attempt to “find salvation” from her true self as a gay woman in the evangelical South.
- Hilarious misadventures ensue (a stripper at her bachelorette party is a church member’s husband, “very ashy”), juxtaposed with deeper struggles between duty, faith, shame, and self-acceptance.
- After her marriage unravels, she comes out publicly for the first time on stage, in front of 500 people and her own mother:
- “The real reason me and my husband got divorced is because I forgot to tell him I liked women.” — Rita [35:36]
- Eventually, she meets Frida (“Free”), a vibrant artist who helps both Rita and her mother find freedom and acceptance, culminating in a Zoom wedding and genuine familial acceptance.
Notable Quotes
- On her mother’s reaction when she first came out at 16:
- “She said, ‘Okay, baby, I don’t quite understand. I’m not sure that I condone it, but I will never love you any less.’” — Rita [31:38]
- “I’m a living witness that people in the church, even though they are supposed to love, can be the distributors of the deepest hurt.” — Rita [34:22]
- “I’m tired of making decisions for others’ comfort. This is my story to tell and my truth.” — Rita [36:37]
- “Not only had I married a woman who was free, the same woman had finally freed my mother and me. Love wins again.” — Rita [38:48]
Memorable Moments
- The bachelorette party gone wrong, complete with an “ashy” church-member stripper. [29:18]
- Her mother’s silent but supportive presence at Rita and Frida’s Zoom wedding, capped by a tangible act of acceptance (“Gucci soap”) [38:10].
Episode Takeaways
- Love’s Suffering Is Universal and Transformative: Each storyteller paints love not as a smooth journey, but as something filled with vulnerability, persistence, and profound meaning—even in heartbreak.
- Storytelling as Healing: Anna and Jennifer underscore the cathartic power of transforming personal pain into communal stories, finding universality in individual experience.
- Acceptance and Growth: Rita’s narrative, in particular, highlights the struggle and eventual triumph of self-acceptance, family reconciliation, and the broadening of what “normal” love looks like.
Timestamps of Key Segments
- [01:59] Anna Martin’s welcome and episode theme
- [02:49] Patricia Dunphy: A partner lost, love endures
- [07:22] Reflection: The power of love stories, Anna & Jennifer Hickson
- [17:14] Peter Aguero: A college crush, persistence, and lifelong partnership
- [27:00] Rita Brent: Coming out, healing, and redefining family
- [38:57] Anna’s closing and credits
Tone and Style
The episode moves with warmth, frank humor, and tenderness throughout. The live stories blend laughter and tears, while Anna’s interludes offer both thoughtful reflection and witty self-disclosure. The candid discussion with Jennifer Hickson adds behind-the-scenes insight into the community of The Moth and affirms that, while “love hurts,” it also connects us—making the messy, brave act of loving worth it.
For those interested in similar stories or to pitch your own, visit The Moth’s website.
Happy Valentine’s Day—from The Moth!
“We hope that love doesn’t hurt you too much.” [39:33]