Summary of "Bliss Broyard: A Tale of Two Dinners" from The Moth Podcast

Release Date: June 3, 2013

Introduction

In the episode titled "Bliss Broyard: A Tale of Two Dinners," storyteller Bliss Broyard captivates listeners with a deeply personal narrative exploring identity, family secrets, and the complexities of racial heritage. Told live in New York in 1999, the story delves into Bliss's journey of self-discovery following a life-altering revelation about her father's hidden identity.

Setting the Scene: Charlottesville Dinner Party

Bliss begins her story at a dinner party in Charlottesville, Virginia, where she finds herself among unfamiliar faces. As a newcomer, her only connection is Whitney, the second cousin of her ex-boyfriend, who invites her to the gathering.

“So we're at dinner, and Whitney turns to me and she says, oh, you know, if you're free next weekend, you've got to come with us fox hunting.”
[02:01]

She describes the quintessential WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) environment—complete with black Labrador retrievers, 18th-century furniture, and threadbare linen napkins. The party seems to epitomize the traditional WASP lifestyle she identifies with.

The Secret Unveiled

During dinner, Whitney mentions a character named Chuck, warning Bliss to "watch out for Chuck," who supposedly "attaches himself to single women." However, confusion arises as the hostess is oblivious to who Chuck is, prompting a search through a photo album.

“Chuck was the black guy. So this whole cry goes up around the table. Chuck's black.”
[02:30]

As the photo album circulates, Bliss becomes increasingly self-conscious about her own appearance, leading her to question her identity traits in relation to Chuck's description. The discomfort peaks when memories of her father's secret come flooding back.

Identity Crisis and Self-Discovery

Bliss reveals that four years prior, her father disclosed a profound family secret: he was black. This revelation shattered her long-held belief that she was "a white girl from Connecticut." Her father's passing without the chance to discuss his identity left Bliss grappling with her own sense of self.

“For the first 23 years of my life, I was like a white girl from Connecticut. And, you know, I didn't really feel white anymore, but I didn't really feel black either.”
[08:15]

Struggling with her newfound understanding, Bliss embarks on a quest to explore her heritage, feeling disconnected from both her white and black identities.

Tracing Family Roots

Determined to uncover the truth, Bliss researches her father's background, discovering limited connections within her extended family. She learns about her Aunt Shirley's husband, a prominent civil rights leader, though Bliss never met him before his untimely death.

“She said, look, the minute you let other people start to define you, you were just giving away your power.”
[11:45]

Encouraged by her aunt, Bliss begins educating herself about black culture and history, reading works by Ralph Ellison, Richard Wright, and Toni Morrison, and even visiting New Orleans to trace her roots.

Confronting Conflicting Truths

Bliss's journey takes an unexpected turn when a cousin from Los Angeles, Claire Cooper, vehemently denies the family's black heritage, claiming that the Broyards are entirely white. This confrontation forces Bliss to question the validity of her research and the authenticity of her family's claims.

“So I called my brother up, and I was like, hey, guess what? We're not black.”
[12:30]

Undeterred, Bliss connects with Mark Broyard, a writer in Los Angeles, who supports her belief in their black heritage. This leads to a family gathering at a Creole restaurant, where the absurdity of conflicting racial identities becomes apparent.

“If you need to be white, all right, yeah, whatever. So, you know, I'm sitting there, and kind of the silliness of so much of this situation hit me.”
[14:00]

Embracing Identity

Despite the mixed signals and familial disputes over racial identity, Bliss reaches a poignant realization. Surrounded by relatives she scarcely knows, she finds a sense of belonging and acceptance within her diverse family unit.

“The real truth of the matter is that I felt totally at home.”
[14:10]

Bliss concludes her story by embracing her multifaceted identity, acknowledging the complexities and embracing the sense of home she finds within her blended heritage.

Conclusion and Insights

Bliss Broyard's "A Tale of Two Dinners" is a compelling exploration of identity, race, and family secrets. Through her honest and introspective storytelling, Bliss invites listeners to reflect on how deeply personal and societal perceptions influence one's sense of self. Her journey underscores the importance of embracing one's heritage, despite external judgments and internal conflicts.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bliss Broyard: “Sometimes it's really hard to tell. Like, what would you say about my hair? I mean, it's curly, but would you say it's kinky?”
  [06:20]

• Aunt Shirley: “The minute you let other people start to define you, you were just giving away your power.”
  [11:50]

• Bliss Broyard: “If you need to be white, all right, yeah, whatever. So, you know, I'm sitting there, and kind of the silliness of so much of this situation hit me.”
  [13:50]

About Bliss Broyard

Bliss Broyard is the author of the story collection My Father Dancing and the memoir One: My Father's Hidden A Story of Race and Family Secrets. She frequently writes for Elle magazine and others, and is working on a novel titled Happy House, set on Martha's Vineyard.

This episode of The Moth masterfully weaves personal narrative with broader themes of identity and cultural heritage, offering listeners a profound glimpse into the complexities of self-discovery and familial bonds.