Summary of "The Moth" Podcast Episode: Carl Pillitteri – "Fog of Disbelief"
Episode Details:
- Title: Fog of Disbelief
- Host/Author: The Moth
- Speaker: Carl Pillitteri
- Release Date: March 11, 2014
Introduction to Carl Pillitteri and Context
Carl Pillitteri, a seasoned professional with over 30 years of experience servicing electrical generating stations globally, shares his harrowing firsthand account of the events surrounding the 2011 Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Disaster in Japan. At the time, Carl was stationed near the nuclear plant as a field engineer.
Daily Life and the "Chicken Lady"
Carl begins by reminiscing about his routine life in Japan, particularly his frequent visits to a local restaurant owned by an elderly woman affectionately known as the "Chicken Lady." Despite the language barrier—she didn't speak English, and he didn't speak Japanese—their bond was strong. Carl would often greet her with a half-step into her restaurant, symbolizing a familial connection. Her restaurant, located south of the Fukushima plant, became a sanctuary for Carl after work, offering comfort and familiarity in a foreign land.
- Quote: “Upon arrival, I would always slide open her door and take a half step in and look at her and as if to say, hey Mom, I'm home.” [02:51]
The Day of the Earthquake and Immediate Aftermath
On March 11, 2011, at 2:46 PM, the Great East Japan Earthquake struck, leading to catastrophic consequences. Carl describes the initial chaos inside the Reactor One turbine building, comparing the experience to being hit by a "very big hammer." The intense shaking caused structural damages, including cracking walls and collapsing ductwork, plunging them into darkness as power failed.
- Quote: “And I turned to my crew and I said, earthquake. This. Sorry.” [02:51]
Amidst the panic, Carl and his crew clung to each other for support, experiencing overwhelming fear as they faced the potential explosion of the reactor. The situation escalated with aftershocks intensifying their dread, culminating in a terrifying tsunami that struck minutes later.
- Quote: “I felt like I was in this glass bowl. I could see through it, but the inside of it was filled with this like gaseous fog of disbelief.” [Carl’s description during the tsunami]
Surviving the Tsunami
Carl recounts witnessing the tsunami's formation and impact. From a hillside, he observed a massive wall of water approaching, fearing it would devastate everything in its path. His vivid description captures the sheer power and inevitability of the natural disaster as it collided with the nuclear facility.
- Quote: “I watched that freighter go up the face of it and I thought he was going to roll and capsize to a starboard, but he cut over the top of it.” [During the tsunami]
After enduring multiple tsunamis and witnessing the destruction they caused, Carl describes a surreal environment where time seemed to stand still. The aftermath left him emotionally and physically drained, grappling with the loss of his familiar surroundings and the uncertainty of the future.
Return to Japan and Searching for Closure
Five days later, on March 16, Carl returned home, but the psychological impact of the disaster weighed heavily on him. Struggling with depression, guilt, and insomnia, Carl found solace in returning to the exclusion zone months later. On December 3, he revisited the area, including his beloved restaurant and his personal apartment, both of which were devastated by the disaster.
- Quote: “I opened that door for the first time since the morning of March 11th. And when I left for work and it was a shambles...” [Examining his apartment]
Cleaning his apartment provided a therapeutic release, allowing Carl to regain a sense of responsibility and control amidst the chaos. However, his primary quest for closure remained: finding out the fate of the "Chicken Lady."
Reconnecting and Finding Hope
Determined to locate the woman who had provided him comfort, Carl reached out to the Japan Times. Through their assistance, he learned her name was Mrs. Owata and that her restaurant, Ikoi, meaning "rest, relax, and relief" in Japanese, had survived the disaster. This revelation brought immense relief to Carl, affirming that the person who had been a pillar of support during his tumultuous time was safe.
- Quote: “I used to stop there so often after work to rest and relax. Now I had this relief, you know, in knowing that these disasters didn't take her, that she was alive.” [After learning of Mrs. Owata's safety]
On February 19, 2012, Mrs. Owata sent Carl a heartfelt letter, confirming her survival and expressing her well-wishes for him. This correspondence provided Carl with profound closure, symbolizing the enduring human connections forged even in the darkest times.
- Quote: “Mrs. Iwata SAN sends me a letter. I have escaped from the disasters and have been doing fine every day... I will always pray for the best for you.” [Receiving the letter]
Reflections and Current Life
Carl concludes by reflecting on the lasting impact of the Fukushima disaster on his life and the region. He now resides in Taiwan, running the Penghu County Wind Energy Company, and shares insights into the enduring scars left by the catastrophe. The exclusion zone around Fukushima remains largely uninhabitable, serving as a stark reminder of the event's magnitude and the fragility of human endeavors against nature's force.
- Quote: “It's hard to imagine that anyone will be able to return to living in that area again in his lifetime.” [Dan Kennedy discussing Carl's reflections]
Conclusion
Carl Pillitteri's story, "Fog of Disbelief," is a poignant narrative of survival, loss, and the search for meaning in the aftermath of a monumental disaster. Through his vivid recollections and emotional journey, he highlights the resilience of the human spirit and the profound impact of personal connections in navigating unimaginable tragedies.
Notable Quotes:
- “Upon arrival, I would always slide open her door and take a half step in and look at her and as if to say, hey Mom, I'm home.” [02:51]
- “I felt like I was in this glass bowl. I could see through it, but the inside of it was filled with this like gaseous fog of disbelief.” [During the tsunami]
- “I used to stop there so often after work to rest and relax. Now I had this relief, you know, in knowing that these disasters didn't take her, that she was alive.” [After learning of Mrs. Owata's safety]
This detailed summary encapsulates Carl Pillitteri's compelling narrative of the Fukushima disaster, offering listeners an immersive understanding of his experiences and the profound personal challenges he faced.