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The Moth is supported by AstraZeneca. AstraZeneca is committed to spreading awareness of a condition called hereditary transthyroidin mediated amyloidosis, or hattr. This condition can cause polyneuropathy like nerve pain or numbness, heart failure or irregular rhythm and gastrointestinal issues. HATTR is often under diagnosed and can be passed down to loved ones. Many of us have stories about family legacies passed down through generations. When I was five, my mother sewed me a classic clown costume, red and yellow with a pointy hat. It's since been worn by my sister, three cousins and four of our children. I'm so happy this piece of my childhood lives on with no end in sight. Genetic conditions like HATTR shouldn't dominate our stories. Thanks to the efforts of AstraZeneca, there are treatment options so so more patients can choose the legacies they share. This year, the Moth will partner with AstraZeneca to shine a light on the stories of Those living with Hattr. Learn more at www.myattrroadmap.com.

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Emily Couch (2:12)

Welcome to the Moth. I'm Emily Couch, and on this episode, two stories about nerves and pressure, from meeting a partner's parents to societal expectations. First up, we've got Gabe Woods Laminuzzi, who told this story at a Boston story slam where the theme was guts. Here's Gabe live at the Moth.

Gabe Woods Laminuzzi (2:34)

I consider myself to be a reasonably gutsy individual. I've bungee jumped, I've skydived, both of which were immensely terrifying things to me, but few things throughout my life have terrified me More have really gotten my boots a quaking and my timbers a shiverin' more than meeting the father of any girlfriend I've ever dated. To start off, typical male bonding has just never been a strong suit for me. I don't know anything about cars. I have lots of feelings and I like talking about my feelings. Handshakes, utterly petrifying to me. Just thinking about them is making my hands sweat right now. And when it comes to the actual moment of the shake, I will find some way to just turn it into calamity. Whether that be gripping too soon or sticking my pinky in and tickling their hand or something. I'll find some way to just ruin it. I'm a hugger, you know, I'm a hug oriented human. And when it comes to the fathers of girls I've dated, I don't know if it was just that I was born and raised in Texas, but some of them, boy golly, can be awfully intense. I dated this one girl in 10th grade and she was the oldest of five and I remember every single one of the kids. I remember playing with them, I remember helping her mom out in the kitchen. But the only thing I remember about her father was just him staring at me, like glaring at me. I don't even remember if this man had a body. I just remember his eyes burning holes into me and I swear he didn't blink for like the entire eight months I dated her. But you know, fast forward a few years. I go off to college in San Diego and I started dating junior year, started dating this California girl, Sydney. And I'm over there hoping like she's probably got some super chill Cali parents, perhaps hippie oriented, wouldn't that be a dream? Incorrect. Her father is from Queens, New York. And when Sydney is giving me information about her parents for the first meeting, she just sort of casually mentions how her father will occasionally boast about knowing how to work around the law, which is not a particularly comforting thing to hear. So the first meeting is happening at a restaurant, AKA a public place with witnesses. And we're having dinner with Sidney's parents and her younger brother. And we've dragged along Sidney's best friend as a sort of like emotional support wing woman. And her father walks into the restaurant and I literally have to crane my neck upwards to look at this man. If you had asked me in that moment how tall he was, I would have told you. Eight feet. In reality, he's six foot four and just a, just a big, just a solidly constructed individual and he's over there ducking his head under doorways, and I'm considering, like, ducking out of the restaurant, but it takes me two and a half steps to make up every one of his. So I wouldn't make it far if I made a run for it. So I'm just like, I'm in it for the long haul, right? I gotta be there. And dinner progresses. It's going all right. Sidney's best friend is hilarious and entertaining and is taking up a lot of the attention, just like we hired her to do. And seriously, thank you. We're all swapping stories. It's all good. Although I do pay particular attention to a story her father tells about being so protective of baby Sidney that he chases away a home intruder with a baseball bat. That one sort of sticks in my head. I don't know why. And. And other than that, though, the dinner kind of goes without too much of an incident until the end of the evening when we're saying goodbye and we're standing outside the restaurant and I say, it was so nice to meet you. And I raise up both arms and I go for the hug. And yeah, this giant of a father, this giant of a man takes a step backwards and extends one arm out for a handshake. And he says, let's keep it here for now. And cue my utter panic as I just like, desperately try to salvage this situation. And I'm like, oh, yes, sir, of course. But my hands are already extended and hugged, so I can't do the sort of like subtle wipe your hand on your pants thing before the handshake. So I deliver to this man, guaranteed, the sweatiest handshake of his life. And her mother takes pity on me and is like, I'll give you a hug. Which honestly, bless her heart forever for that. And then I'm still trying to kind of turn this into a joke. So I'm like, zach will give me a hug. To which her 18 year old fraternity rushing brother is like, I absolutely will not give you a hug. And I proceed to chase this man, this young man, back to their car where he locks himself inside to get away from me. And I'm like, give me a hug. Oh, God. Painful, but, you know, I survived the night. Night wraps up and a few months later, we're on a road trip up the California coast, going up north, and Sydney drops me off with some family in Morro Bay. And she's on to see her parents in the Bay Area. And, you know, I'm feeling like I kind of have some ground to make up with her dad. So I decide to take a gamble. And before she leaves, I give her a hug goodbye. And then I give her a second hug goodbye. And I say, that one is for your father. When you get home, give him a hug. And then after the hug, tell him it was from Gabe. And you know, I'm trying to do the thing where you're terrified, but you're doing the thing anyway. But I'm also remembering the adage of, like, there's a thin line between bravery and stupidity. And I'm wondering which side of it I've sort of stumbled into. So I'm staring at my phone, y', all, for the next three hours, waiting for an update on how this, like, Trojan horse of a hug delivery is gonna go. And then I get her text and it says, made it home safely. He thought it was hilarious. And in all the years since then, he has hugged me every time we've hung out. And now, 11 years later this August, I will be marrying Sydney Murth. And I can hardly wait to hug my future father in law on that day.