Embraces and Egg Timers: The Moth Podcast

Summary

The Moth Podcast: Embraces and Egg Timers

Date: October 3, 2025
Host: Emily Couch
Stories by: Gabe Woods Laminuzzi & April Gallutti
Episode Theme: Navigating nerves and pressure—whether meeting a partner’s family or resisting societal expectations about womanhood and motherhood.

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Episode Overview

In this edition of The Moth Podcast, host Emily Couch presents two live stories that explore what it means to feel pressure—either from within or from society at large. The episode begins with a humorous recollection of meeting a partner’s intimidating father and ends with a candid, witty meditation on the social scrutiny women face for choosing not to have children.

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Key Stories, Insights, and Memorable Moments

1. Gabe Woods Laminuzzi: “The Guts to Hug”

[02:34 – 08:39]

Story Summary

Gabe shares his lifelong anxiety surrounding that classic rite of passage: meeting his girlfriend’s father. Despite being someone who’s tackled extreme sports like skydiving and bungee jumping, Gabe finds nothing more terrifying than this social ritual—especially with his self-identification as a “hugger” rather than a handshaker.

Discussion Points & Insights

• Awkwardness of Male Bonding:

  • Gabe confesses to struggling with traditionally masculine social skills.
    “Handshakes, utterly petrifying to me… I will find some way to just turn it into calamity.” [03:22]
  • Emphasizes a love of hugs and difficulty with expected gestures.

• The Terrifying Father Stereotype:

  • Recounts a high school relationship where his girlfriend’s father’s sole legacy was a menacing, unblinking stare.
  • Jumps to college, where he hopes for “chill Cali parents” but instead meets a “solidly constructed” New Yorker father—Sydney’s dad.

• Meeting Sydney’s Parents:

  • The initial dinner is tense, with an imposing father who boasts about “knowing his way around the law.”
  • Humorous relief comes from Sydney’s entertaining friend, recruited to deflect attention.
  • Noteworthy story from Sydney’s father:
    “…he chases away a home intruder with a baseball bat.” [05:35]

• The Hug Handshake Showdown:

  • Gabe instinctively goes for a hug; the father steps back for a handshake:
    “Let’s keep it here for now.” – Sydney’s Dad [06:55]
  • Gabe delivers “the sweatiest handshake of his life” and is rescued by Sydney’s mom offering a hug.
  • In a comedic bid, tries for a hug from Sydney's brother, who flees to his car to avoid him.

• Redemption & Acceptance:

  • On a later trip, Gabe sends a “hug by proxy” to Sydney’s father, who finds it hilarious.
  • With time, “he has hugged me every time we’ve hung out”.
  • Culminates in the heartwarming full-circle moment:
    “Now, 11 years later this August, I will be marrying Sydney Murth. And I can hardly wait to hug my future father-in-law on that day.” [08:36]

Notable Quote

• “There’s a thin line between bravery and stupidity. And I’m wondering which side of it I’ve sort of stumbled into.” — Gabe [07:37]

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2. April Gallutti: “Tinnitus of the Vagina”

[11:00 – 16:33]

Story Summary

April Gallutti delivers a comic yet poignant monologue about the unseen timer women receive with their first period, chronicling the constant ticking of societal expectations to have children—despite choosing otherwise.

Discussion Points & Insights

• Puberty as a Horror Story:

  • At age 10, April wakes “covered in hair and blood” and asks her mom:
    “Are we werewolves? Did I kill someone last night?”
  • Compares puberty to a supernatural transformation:
    “Becoming a werewolf and becoming a woman is the same…hair everywhere...hungry, angry, bite people…blood, so much blood.” [11:13]

• The Unmentioned “Egg Timer”:

  • With her first period comes an “invisible egg timer” she doesn’t hear at first.
  • As she settles into a committed relationship, a relentless societal clock emerges—“tinnitus of the vagina”—amplifying family and cultural pressure to have babies.

• Relentless Expectation and Judgment:

  • Describes how people, especially her husband’s family, accosted her about having kids.
  • Critiques common arguments:
    • “You're being selfish because you’re not allowing your husband’s name to be carried on…” [14:06]
    • “Who’s going to take care of you when you’re older?”
    • Lampoons the idea of “maternal instincts will kick in,” wryly asking if she can “send it back” if they don’t.

• Liberation & Devaluation:

  • After a hysterectomy at age 28, the “egg timer” and accompanying pressure finally stops.
  • The searing realization:
    “The expiration of my value as a woman and as a person died with a lot of people.” [15:43]
  • Acknowledges the pain but champions women who are child-free by choice.

• Inspiration and Defiance:

  • Salutes Dolly Parton and Betty White, both child-free icons.
  • Concludes with a punchy comedic resolve: “Now I am no Dolly Parton and I am no Betty White, but I can fix that. Thank you. My name is April.” [16:25]

Notable Quotes

• “Did I kill someone last night? Like what’s going on?” – April [11:04]
• “People's need to be in our bedroom was wild.” – April [14:17]
• “If I were to stand here and tell you that didn’t hurt, I’d be lying.” – April [15:46]

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Additional Host Reflections

Emily Couch [08:39, 10:47, 16:33]:

• Recounts her own tense experience with a new boyfriend meeting her parents, resulting in a happy marriage six years later.
• Introduces and contextualizes each story; shares fun fact about Gabe’s “10 great hugs per week” quest.
• Profiles April’s blend of Southern gentleness and biting humor.

[Notable Host Quote]

• “I think I was more nervous than he was. And six years later, dear listener, I married him.” – Emily [09:21]

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Quick Reference Timestamps

• [02:34 – 08:39]: Gabe Woods Laminuzzi – Facing the intimidating parent and finding real acceptance
• [11:00 – 16:33]: April Gallutti – Rejecting expectations, claiming worth beyond motherhood

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Tone & Style

• Warm, humorous, self-deprecating, and candid storytelling.
• Speakers use vivid imagery, playful analogies, and direct honesty.
• Each narrative balances vulnerability with laugh-out-loud comedic beats.

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For More Information

• Photos of Gabe and his (now affectionate) father-in-law at themoth.org/extras.
• More stories and information about storytelling events at The Moth’s website.

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In Summary:
This episode beautifully explores the nerves and comedy of confronting others’ expectations—whether seeking a father’s approval or contending with society’s definitions of womanhood. Both stories remind listeners of the universal desire to be seen and accepted for who we are, and leave us smiling at the messiness of it all.

Transcript

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[Emily Couch]

Welcome to the Moth. I'm Emily Couch, and on this episode, two stories about nerves and pressure, from meeting a partner's parents to societal expectations. First up, we've got Gabe Woods Laminuzzi, who told this story at a Boston story slam where the theme was guts. Here's Gabe live at the Moth.

[Gabe Woods Laminuzzi]

I consider myself to be a reasonably gutsy individual. I've bungee jumped, I've skydived, both of which were immensely terrifying things to me, but few things throughout my life have terrified me More have really gotten my boots a quaking and my timbers a shiverin' more than meeting the father of any girlfriend I've ever dated. To start off, typical male bonding has just never been a strong suit for me. I don't know anything about cars. I have lots of feelings and I like talking about my feelings. Handshakes, utterly petrifying to me. Just thinking about them is making my hands sweat right now. And when it comes to the actual moment of the shake, I will find some way to just turn it into calamity. Whether that be gripping too soon or sticking my pinky in and tickling their hand or something. I'll find some way to just ruin it. I'm a hugger, you know, I'm a hug oriented human. And when it comes to the fathers of girls I've dated, I don't know if it was just that I was born and raised in Texas, but some of them, boy golly, can be awfully intense. I dated this one girl in 10th grade and she was the oldest of five and I remember every single one of the kids. I remember playing with them, I remember helping her mom out in the kitchen. But the only thing I remember about her father was just him staring at me, like glaring at me. I don't even remember if this man had a body. I just remember his eyes burning holes into me and I swear he didn't blink for like the entire eight months I dated her. But you know, fast forward a few years. I go off to college in San Diego and I started dating junior year, started dating this California girl, Sydney. And I'm over there hoping like she's probably got some super chill Cali parents, perhaps hippie oriented, wouldn't that be a dream? Incorrect. Her father is from Queens, New York. And when Sydney is giving me information about her parents for the first meeting, she just sort of casually mentions how her father will occasionally boast about knowing how to work around the law, which is not a particularly comforting thing to hear. So the first meeting is happening at a restaurant, AKA a public place with witnesses. And we're having dinner with Sidney's parents and her younger brother. And we've dragged along Sidney's best friend as a sort of like emotional support wing woman. And her father walks into the restaurant and I literally have to crane my neck upwards to look at this man. If you had asked me in that moment how tall he was, I would have told you. Eight feet. In reality, he's six foot four and just a, just a big, just a solidly constructed individual and he's over there ducking his head under doorways, and I'm considering, like, ducking out of the restaurant, but it takes me two and a half steps to make up every one of his. So I wouldn't make it far if I made a run for it. So I'm just like, I'm in it for the long haul, right? I gotta be there. And dinner progresses. It's going all right. Sidney's best friend is hilarious and entertaining and is taking up a lot of the attention, just like we hired her to do. And seriously, thank you. We're all swapping stories. It's all good. Although I do pay particular attention to a story her father tells about being so protective of baby Sidney that he chases away a home intruder with a baseball bat. That one sort of sticks in my head. I don't know why. And. And other than that, though, the dinner kind of goes without too much of an incident until the end of the evening when we're saying goodbye and we're standing outside the restaurant and I say, it was so nice to meet you. And I raise up both arms and I go for the hug. And yeah, this giant of a father, this giant of a man takes a step backwards and extends one arm out for a handshake. And he says, let's keep it here for now. And cue my utter panic as I just like, desperately try to salvage this situation. And I'm like, oh, yes, sir, of course. But my hands are already extended and hugged, so I can't do the sort of like subtle wipe your hand on your pants thing before the handshake. So I deliver to this man, guaranteed, the sweatiest handshake of his life. And her mother takes pity on me and is like, I'll give you a hug. Which honestly, bless her heart forever for that. And then I'm still trying to kind of turn this into a joke. So I'm like, zach will give me a hug. To which her 18 year old fraternity rushing brother is like, I absolutely will not give you a hug. And I proceed to chase this man, this young man, back to their car where he locks himself inside to get away from me. And I'm like, give me a hug. Oh, God. Painful, but, you know, I survived the night. Night wraps up and a few months later, we're on a road trip up the California coast, going up north, and Sydney drops me off with some family in Morro Bay. And she's on to see her parents in the Bay Area. And, you know, I'm feeling like I kind of have some ground to make up with her dad. So I decide to take a gamble. And before she leaves, I give her a hug goodbye. And then I give her a second hug goodbye. And I say, that one is for your father. When you get home, give him a hug. And then after the hug, tell him it was from Gabe. And you know, I'm trying to do the thing where you're terrified, but you're doing the thing anyway. But I'm also remembering the adage of, like, there's a thin line between bravery and stupidity. And I'm wondering which side of it I've sort of stumbled into. So I'm staring at my phone, y', all, for the next three hours, waiting for an update on how this, like, Trojan horse of a hug delivery is gonna go. And then I get her text and it says, made it home safely. He thought it was hilarious. And in all the years since then, he has hugged me every time we've hung out. And now, 11 years later this August, I will be marrying Sydney Murth. And I can hardly wait to hug my future father in law on that day.

[Emily Couch]

That was Gabe Woods Lamanuzzi. Gabe is an educator in Boston where he lives with his forever gal, Sydney and their cat Jello. Gabe remains dedicated to his quest for a lifelong average of 10 great hugs per week. If you'd like to see photos of Gabe and his father in law, including proof that they've hugged at least once, you can find those pictures on our [e-mail] Extras In 2016, I had just gotten out of a long term relationship, was living back at home with my parents and was generally in a state of limbo. I tried my hand to casual dating, which I'd never done before. I was on my third date with this guy I'd met through Tinder. We were out to dinner in my town and I invited him to come over and watch a movie. I was about to text my mom, begging her to make herself scare so my date wouldn't have to go through the the process of meeting the parents in the nascent stage of a casual situationship. But he stopped me and said, it's okay, I'd love to meet the people who raised you. I nearly fainted. He did end up meeting my parents that night. I think I was more nervous than he was. And six years later, dear listener, I married him. After the break, another story about expectations. Be back in a moment.

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[Emily Couch]

Welcome back. April Gallutti told our next story at a Seattle story slam where the theme of the night was deadlines. Here's April live.

[April Gallutti]

When I was about 10 years old, I woke up one morning, I was covered in hair and blood. And I went to my mom and I'm like, are we werewolves? Did I kill somebody last night? Like, what's going on? My mom's like, no, you're not turning into a werewolf. You're turning into a woman. It was really unfair in my mind because both processes are the same. I mean they end kind of different. But becoming a werewolf and becoming a woman is the same. Like you have all these weird body shape changes in sizes going on. Hair, hair everywhere. Oh my God. Like, and you're hangry and you're hungry and you're angry hangry and you are pissed off the world. You just want to bite people. Like, and blood, so much blood. It's terrible. What do you, you know? So my mom, she does the best she can with a 10 year old. She gives me all the technical information she can kind of let him send me on my way with this. And then I got gifted. You know, the wise woman. Gifts of a pontoon. Boat sized pad floating out.

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[April Gallutti]

Giant bottle of Tylenol heating pad. You know the basics. There was one thing though she didn't tell me about because I was too young and that was that I got an egg timer on that day, somebody took an egg timer and they cranked it up all the way to the top and they let it go and it started going. I couldn't hear it. I didn't know anything about it. Time goes on. I learned how to deal with periods like we all do and we manage. And then one day I find a boy and I'm like, I like this one, I'm keeping him, this one's mine. And the minute I did that, this weird phenomenon happened that I describe as tinnitus of the vagina. My vagina started sending out a signal to everyone in my family and everyone into my husband's family, family. And it was going, babies.

[Gabe Woods Laminuzzi]

Babies.

[April Gallutti]

And behind it was just tick tock, tick tock. And I really never heard this clock going off behind me. I never heard it. And my husband and I had had discussions actually before we got married and had decided that we were not going to have children. And me telling family and friends this was, was difficult, to say the least. People's need to be in our bedroom was wild. And when I would explain, hey, my husband and I have decided that we don't want to have children. Well, then people decided I needed to be convinced. And they wouldn't try to convince my husband and I, they would separate us, pull me aside and go, hey, you're being selfish because you're not allowing your husband's name to be carried on. My husband's family is Catholic. That name will outlast all of us. Like then of course they're like, okay, well if that doesn't work, then like, well, who's going to take care of you when you're older? Well, who's being selfish now? That's not a good reason to have a baby, you know. And then they would get angry and at this point, point they're like, come on, just have a baby. Your instincts will kick in. Yeah, and if they don't, can I send it back? So, you know, I went through this time goes on. My husband and I have had these fights with everybody. Next thing you know, we are 28 years down the road and we've been happily married all that time and we have a 15 year old hysterectomy. And that day, 15 years ago was the day that that egg timer stopped. That was the day that the tone of the tinnitus of the vagina just died. And it became real apparent really quickly that on that day, the expiration of my value as a woman and as a person died with a lot of people. And if I were to stand here and tell you that that didn't hurt, I would be lying. But I would like to remind you that there are plenty of women out there who have never had children, who have gone on to do great things. Two of which Dolly Parton and Betty White. Now I am no Dolly Parton and I am no Betty White, but I can fix that. Thank you. My name is April.

[Emily Couch]

That was April Delight. April is a writer, comic and storyteller who uses her sweet Southern drawl to add softness to the bite in her comedy and storytelling. From Georgia, April crafts tales of her Southern upbringing, navigating the comedic chaos of marriage, early menopause and middle age ADHD and autism. That brings us to the end of our episode. Thanks so much for joining us. From all of us here at the Moth have a story worthy week.

[Mark Solinger]

Emily Couch is a producer on the Moth's artistic team offering logistical support on creative projects and the Moth Radio Hour. She loves to work behind the scenes to spread the beauty of true personal stories to listeners around the world. This episode this episode of the Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin, Janess, Sarah Jane Johnson and me, Mark Solinger. The rest of the Moth's leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Christina Norman, Marina Clouche, Jennifer Hickson, Jordan Cardinale, Kate Tellers, Suzanne Rust and Patricia Urenia. The Moth Podcast is presented by Odyssey. Special thanks to their Executive producer Leah Rhys Dennis. All Moth stories are true as remembered by their storytellers. For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story and everything else, go to our website themoth.org.