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- [00:00]
Rosetta Stone Advertiser
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- [01:09]
Dan Kennedy
Hey, welcome to the Moth podcast. I am Dan Kennedy and thanks for tuning in for another batch of stories. This week we have three stories on the podcast for you, and we're gonna start off with something from Enno Inwake, and she told this story that you're about to hear at a Moth store we did in Los Angeles. The theme of the night was Busted. Here's Enno.
- [01:35]
Enno Inwake
One of the worst things that's happened in the world is that people have a bad impression about what Nigerians are. To me, it means being really good at negotiating. I'm really good. My father saw that when I was a little girl, and he said, you need to become a businesswoman. And in 2001, I opened a business where I started selling jewelry. I'm really good at persuading people, and my goal was to find good deals for my customers. I can convince anyone to do anything. I can convince you that your name is not yours. And more importantly, irrespective of your race, that I am your mother. I am that good. I ran out of options where I would find good deals. And my friend Manny said, I know one website where you can get good deals. Guess what he said? Craigslist. But who's going to take this Nigerian? Nobody. So I started looking. I was a little scared, but then I said, I'm Nigerian. Who's going to take me? I got this. I started back and forth with this one guy and guess what? I met a guy, he had some jewelry. He owned a store. He's going out of business and he's going to give me a good deal on. On 10 boxes of jewelry from Turkey, India. It was a win win. I called him. Hi. I gave him my middle name because it was Craigslist. Hello. My name is Georgette. Ah, Georgette. This is Dominique. Are you French? No. Let's just get back to business. Okay. Meet me at the corner of La Senega and Pico. Do you know where that is? I know. I'll meet you there. I get there and the whole time thinking he could kill me, murder me, I don't know, deport me. But guess what? He didn't. Little French guy, very nice accent. But I didn't want to get distracted by his accent. Georgette, here are the boxes. Open them. Look at them. All the jewelry that I wanted. I came here with such trepidation. Why do we judge people like this? Because it's Craigslist. All this guy was trying to do was connect with me as another human being. He even gave me a free bracelet. Georgia, just put it on. You're very sexy. Put it on. It's very nice. So we do this deal. 10 boxes of amazing jewelry, handmade, just like I wanted, from Jaipur, Brazil. Amazing stuff. 10 boxes. We did this whole thing and he said it's going to be $1,000. This was 2,000 at first. Well, I don't have it. Negotiating back and forth. Turns out I got this. I convinced him to give me these boxes at $1,000. But I only had 700 with me. Let me go to the bank. Can I trust you to stay here? Don't worry about it. I got you. I go to the bank, get the remaining $300, and he was there. Why do we doubt humanity like this? Excited about this deal, I called a customer of mine who likes to buy the same type of jewelry. And I was about to, in real time, make half my money because each box could about $500. So I said to her in my own accent, oh, girl, meet me at La Cienega and Pico. I have a hookup for you. I was excited. I was about to become rich in two seconds. I get back, Dominique is showing me all the deals. Georgette, this is amazing. Good for you. My loss is your win. I'll put them in your car. By the way, he had this very shady, ripped looking van. I didn't want to go close to it at first, but ultimately he brings the boxes and he loads my car. And my friend customer is showing up at the same time. And he was so friendly, but I was really disappointed when after I gave him the money, he just disappeared. Whatever. Bye, Dominique. I got my deal. My customer comes through. I say, hey, get whichever one you want. It's going to be 500 bucks. She's excited. I'm thinking, all the money I'm going to be making in the next few days. And she says, where's the jewelry? Oh, pick any of them. And she's taking out papers and books. She doesn't know how to look inside a box properly, so I help her. And there's packing paper, books, and popcorn. Packing popcorn. I don't even know how one gets that much packing popcorn. What happened? I didn't look inside the boxes when I came back, but it was just one box. But then there was two and three. And now at the corner of La Cienega and Pico were tons of paper and books and wrapping paper and packing popcorn. My customer looked at me. I don't think I'll be buying any jewelry from you today. I'm still looking at this mess, thinking, where the hell does one get this much packing popcorn? I'll tell you where. Craigslist.
- [06:32]
Dan Kennedy
That was the first and very last time that Eno fell victim to a scammer. When we reached out to her, she said, quote, as industrious and vigilant as Nigerians are, you'd be hard pressed to trick them. End quote. As for Enno herself, she swore never again would something like that happen to her. So obviously we're wishing her all the luck in avoiding future scams. Enno Enwake is a storyteller, author and YouTuber from Nigeria. She currently lives in Los Angeles and she's working on a script called Blindsided by Divorce. Speaking of money woes, I guess. I guess those were jewelry woes, but they led to money woes. Next up, we have a story from Quiva Creed. And she told this story at our slam in Dublin. And the theme of the night was nine to five. Here's Cuiva live at the Moth in Dublin.
- [07:25]
Cuiva Creed
The gap just there. Cuiva.
- [07:36]
Martin Hughes
So when I was a teenager, I worked in a local shop. It was like kind of a discount shop, like what we called a pound shop, even though we'd had the Euro for like a decade then. So for Americans, that would translate pretty literally into dollar store. So I usually was the only person there in the shop because I was really small, there was no need for anyone else, so I was the only person there. And A kid came in, or a man came in to mug me, and he had a weapon, and it was like a. It was like a kitchen knife. Like the kind you use for cutting steak if you don't have enough money to buy the proper knives for cutting steak. Like, just like quite a sharp knife, but, like, still. Still not a very impressive weapon. But I was like, 19, and he had his hoodie drawn over his face and he looked, you know, like, if you were to draw, like a cartoon mugger, like, that's what he looked like. And he came in and he actually said, give me all your money. And I thought I was being. I don't know if being punked was still a thing, but, like, I thought it was a joke. I was kind of, like, looking at him like, who are you? I don't. What's. What's this? What's going on? What's happening? And no, he was actually coming in to take all of my money. So when you're being trained. When you're like a teenager and being trained into a shop, they always say, if someone comes in and asks for the money, give them the money, because we have the money insured and you might die. And that would be worse for our insurance. So after a minute, after. After a minute of being sort of like, are you just. I'm really confused. He had to say it twice, Give me all your money. Because the first time I was just like, I kind of. It kind of kicked in and I was like, what am I supposed to do here? I'm supposed to open the cash register and give him all of the money. So I opened it and then after that, like, he was taking the money out of it, and the kind of fight or flight response kind of kicked in. And I sort of had a moment of being like, hold on, I'm working and I'm making less than €10 an hour, and he's just going to take all of that money and he hasn't earned it. And I felt really indignant. I wasn't really thinking straight, but I knew I was annoyed and I knew that this was injustice. And so I tried to stop him by sticking my hand, you know, like, to kind of swat him away, but he had a knife, so he, like, stabbed me in the hand. So this is how. This is the story of how I got stabbed. And I was kind of. I was. That shocked me. And I was looking at my hand like, oh, my God, you just stabbed me. And I still felt like I was living some sort of, like some sort of cartoon or something, because the guy came in, give me all your money. And then he stabbed me. And it was only really, like, when blood was dripping onto the counter. And I was like, nope, this is real. This is a thing. This is actually happening. And he was, like, screaming at me because the 50s were under the counter. And I was like, well, he's probably not getting those. He knew that the 50s were hidden somewhere. And he took, like, the coin drawer out and threw it on the floor to look for the 50s underneath. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna have to clean that up. And there was coins all over the floor, blood all over the counter. And I was like, such a mess. And I was still obviously in shock, not really processing what was going on. And I didn't realize there was actually another customer in the shop, down the back of the shop. And she had probably been standing there going, that girl's getting mugged. What am I supposed to do? Eventually, she actually came up to the guy and put her hand on his shoulder. And she was like, leave her alone. And I was like, who are you, my knight in shining armor? And then she was like, in Jesus name, leave her alone. And then again, like, being an atheist, I was like, oh, come on. But it worked. He was obviously not. He was obviously, like, had the fear of God. So eventually he left disappointed because he didn't get the 50s. I was still not really sure what was going on, But I did get a piece of kitchen paper and wipe off the blood from the counter because I didn't want my boss to have to do it. Later, a man came in then about a couple minutes later with a hurl, like, the stick. And I was like, oh, not again. But it turned out that he had seen what was happening, gone to get a weapon, and came back to try to help, but it was too late because the Jesus lady had already. Already saved me. My boss came in then a few minutes later, and I was like, I'm really sorry. He took all the money. And he was like, but are you okay? And I was like, he stabbed me. I'll be okay. And the guards came. And then the rest of it's kind of a blur. I was kind of like, but he didn't get the 50. So the rest is kind of a blur. But I remember the. The woman kind of looking at me and being like. She looked at me, like, really, really serious. Like a kind of earnest expression that I don't think I've ever had in my entire life. And she was, like, looking right at me. And she was like, your Lord was looking out for you today. And I was like, if I had been less horrified, I would have been like. And she gave me a hug and she was like, you know, if you didn't believe, if you didn't believe up until now, now, now you're a believer. And I was like, am I? And I, I wasn't, I didn't change my perceptions. I'm still, I still don't believe in God, but I do believe in people a little bit more because I couldn't believe that she had done that for me. So that was amazing.
- [13:06]
Dan Kennedy
That was Puiva Creed. And she said that after this incident she was a bit more paranoid every time she was in an enclosed space. But she's working through it. And she now works as a tour guide and education officer in Dublin Castle. She's also a writer and she's currently working on a fiction podcast about religion in Irish schools. And cryptozoology, which is the study of animals and other creatures rumored to exist. Quite the natural Venn diagram there for some folks. I could see how those two might intersect. So we have one more story for you this week. And we had a monthly slam in Dublin for a while there. We've eventually sort of turned it over to our Dublin based producers, Julian Clancy and Colm O'Regan. They've just started a brand new podcast which features the best stories from the Dublin Story Slam. So we're going to share a story from their new series with you here today and it's going to appear on their podcast later this year. So this is a sneak peek for moth listeners. And this story was told by Martin Hughes at the Dublin Story Slam where the theme of the night was heroes and villains. Here's Martin.
- [14:20]
Cuiva Creed
Good evening. So of the many jobs I've had over the years, about 10 years ago I did a brief stint as a taxi driver. I had this eight seater minibus and used to ferry people back and forth to pubs and I was doing that very thing one night in November. There was snow on the ground, frosty white stuff everywhere. And I had a bunch of girls in the car and I was dropping them off to a housing estate in Lusk called Orland Park. And on the way into the estate I noticed the car parked on the side of the road with the engine running and I kind of went. There didn't seem to be anybody in the car, so. So didn't pay much pass to it. Anyway, I dropped the girls off, took a few minutes because they were like, oh my God, you're so handsome. And I was like, oh, God, I'm old enough to be your cousin. Older cousin. On the way back out, the car was still there and the engine was running. You can see the fumes, you know, in the wintertime, you can see the fumes coming up and so on. So I pulled up beside the car to have a look and I noticed a hose in the exhaust pipe. And I jumped out heroically, you know, as you do. And I pulled the hose from out of the car and I went around to the driver's door and I opened the door and there was a young man slumped on the seat. He appeared to be unconscious. So I took him out of the car, put him on the ground. I checked him over, he was breathing. He had a pulse. He was kind of fading a little bit, but he was there. So I rang an ambulance and the ambulance was duly dispatched. And I waited with the young man. He was only like 20, just a baby, you know. And I noticed his phone on the ground and he had the beginnings of a text message to his dad. And at that moment I decided that I would ring his dad. And the reason I decided to do that was I come from a very large family of 11 people in our family, 11 children in our family, and we had a couple of accidents over the years. And my dad used to say, if you're not coming home, if you're out flying your flag, you know, ring home and tell us you're not coming because your mum's going to stay up all night worrying otherwise, you know, and we've had the guards come to her house a couple of times, and it's an awful experience. So for that reason I decided to ring his dad, which I did. And I explained the situation. I said, look, your son's here. He's unconscious, but he's fine. The ambulance is coming. So he arrived down about the same time as the ambulance arrived and they took over, they took him off in the ambulance. The dad went with them. He shook my hand, said, thanks very much. I put my cape and red underwear back in the boot and headed off home. I wasn't actually the better for it, so I kind of went home. So I've had enough now. That's enough for anyone to see for one evening. So the next afternoon the dad rang me and he said, the young man has woken and he's. He's fine and they're going to keep him over overnight again for. For observation and stuff. And he asked if he could bring the young man down to me to say thanks. And I said, I'd rather you didn't because I don't want you coming back in a little while and tell me that he successfully managed to kill himself. Also, I was kind of the bad guy here because I stopped him from doing what he wanted to do so it could all go badly wrong. So I said, look, you know what, just look after him, keep an eye on him and, you know, farewell and good luck. And so. So that was November. A few days before Christmas. I got a text message from the dad saying, I know you don't want us contact you, but I'm thinking of you today. Merry Christmas, all is well. And I replied, merry Christmas, that's fine. And I got the same text message for the next four years, every Christmas, a few days before Christmas, thinking of you. Merry Christmas all as well. On the fifth year, I didn't get any text message and my wife said to me, did you get your annual text message from, you know, that guy? And I went, no, I didn't. And. And I've just realized now that I'm quite concerned about not getting the text message that I didn't want in the first place. So in the first week in January, I got a text message from the dad saying, belated Merry Christmas. Thanks for that. We were away. So we were away in Spain because young man had gotten engaged and they decided to go on a family holiday in Spain. And at that time, as you might remember, to send a text message or phone from abroad was so expensive, you'd have to sell a kidney to pay for it when you came back home. So that was the reason he didn't send a message. And I was like, fuck, I was up all night like, you know what I mean? So I said, right, okay, it's fine, thanks very much. I'm glad everyone's okay. So. So every year since that, I get a text message a few days before Christmas from the dad saying, thinking of you today, Merry Christmas, all is well. And can I just like to say before take this home with you this evening, it's okay to not be okay. Thank you very much.
- [20:05]
Dan Kennedy
That was Martin Hughes. Martin is a multimedia artist and qualified civil celebrant who performs weddings, baby naming ceremonies and funeral ceremonies. When he first took part in the Dublin Story Slam, he did it to help practice and improve on his public speaking. But since then, he's become and is still going strong as one of its biggest fans. If you'd like to hear more stories from these Dublin Slams, check out the Dublin Story Slam podcast. You can find it on itunes, Stitcher, and anywhere else you get your podcasts. That does it this time around. If these stories ever make you think of your own, and we hope they do, you should hit our site, find out more about how to pitch that story to us. And you can also call our pitch line. We would love to hear from you. And until next time, have a story worthy week.
- [20:56]
Rosetta Stone Advertiser
Dan Kennedy is the author of Loser Goes First, Rock on and American Spirit. He's also a regular host and storyteller.
- [21:03]
Dan Kennedy
With the Moth Podcast production by Timothy Luley. The Moth Podcast is presented by prx, the Public Radio Exchange helping make public radio more public at prx.
- [21:14]
Martin Hughes
Org.