Podcast Summary: The Moth - "Home and Abroad: Paul Murray, Margie Morris, and Chandrika Naryanan-Mohan"

Release Date: March 2, 2018

Introduction

In this episode of The Moth, host Dan Kennedy presents three compelling true stories centered around the theme of travel and the concept of home. Each storyteller—Paul Murray, Margie Morris, and Chandrika Naryanan-Mohan—shares a personal narrative that delves into their unique experiences with travel, cultural misunderstandings, and the quest for belonging. The episode seamlessly weaves humor, vulnerability, and insightful reflections, offering listeners an engaging exploration of what it means to find and define "home."

1. Paul Murray: A Toast to Mistakes in Milan

Story Slam: London Story Slam, 2016
Timestamps: [02:01] – [08:40]

Paul Murray, an actuary from London with a passion for global travels alongside his wife, Fiora, recounts a memorable and somewhat embarrassing incident during a romantic trip to Italy. Their adventure culminated in Milan, where Paul sought to create a special final evening by dining at an upscale restaurant known for its exquisite wine selection.

Key Points:

• Envy and Temptation: Paul describes his envy upon noticing another table enjoying superior wine glasses:
  "I was enviously looking over at their wine. They'd been in the restaurant probably half an hour longer than us..." [02:36]

• The Wine Incident: Unable to resist, Paul discreetly takes a sip from the neighboring bottle, fully depleting it in the process:
  "So I down what was in the glass, filled the glass to the top, so the bottle was now empty." [04:15]

• The Confrontation: The returning couple confronts him, leading to an awkward apology and an attempt to compensate by offering money towards their bill:
  "I drank their wine. And he just shook his head... I think he snapped, it had to be an Englishman." [06:05]

• Resolution and Surprise: As reconciliation unfolds, the owners present champagne for Paul and Fiora, showing unexpected grace despite the mishap:
  "And the couple hadn't even had a sip. They put their glasses down, stood up and walked out. They bought the champagne for us because we'd stolen their wine." [07:50]

Insights and Reflections:

Paul’s story underscores the unforeseen consequences of small actions and the power of humility and generosity in overcoming social faux pas. His ability to laugh with Fiora at the end highlights the strength of their relationship and their capacity to navigate awkward moments with grace.

2. Margie Morris: Kindergarten Confusion in Lansing

Story Slam: Philadelphia Story Slam
Timestamps: [09:10] – [13:13]

Margie Morris, a utility attorney with culinary aspirations and a commitment to social advocacy, shares an incident from 1987 that led to unintended misunderstandings at her daughter's Catholic kindergarten in Lansing, Michigan.

Key Points:

• Cultural and Religious Dynamics: Margie explains the complexities of integrating her Italian Catholic identity with her Lutheran husband's, especially concerning their daughter's experience in a traditional Catholic school:
  "Her father's not Catholic... I'm Italian. You know, what else is going on." [09:50]

• The Gift Gone Awry: Eager to contribute Mardi Gras-themed treats, Margie unknowingly includes chocolate coins containing condoms, leading to severe misunderstandings:
  "So as Sister Barbara said... there's condoms." [12:00]

• Institutional Backlash: The school demands an immediate appearance and lectures Margie on the inappropriateness of her gesture, pushing her to apologize to the parents:
  "I have to write now an apology letter to all 17 parents." [12:30]

• Mixed Reactions: The responses to her apology range from hostility to unexpected camaraderie, reflecting the divided perceptions within the community:
  "They were in two groups. The group that said, you're evil... and the other ones that said, can't wait to have a drink with you." [13:00]

Insights and Reflections:

Margie’s anecdote highlights the challenges of cultural assimilation and the potential for innocent actions to be misinterpreted within rigid institutional frameworks. Her ability to find humor and resilience in the face of criticism speaks to her strength and adaptability as a parent and professional.

3. Chandrika Naryanan-Mohan: Navigating Visa Queues and Defining Home

Story Slam: Dublin Story Slam
Timestamps: [14:01] – [19:28]

Chandrika Naryanan-Mohan, an arts manager and spoken word performer from India, delves into her ongoing struggle with immigration bureaucracy in Dublin, Ireland, and explores the elusive nature of "home" as a third culture kid.

Key Points:

• Defining Home: Chandrika challenges the conventional notion of home, describing it as an "intangible and massive" concept shaped by constant movement and cultural shifts:
  "Home is something that is intangible and massive and giant is a beast that I've never quite been able to grasp." [14:20]

• Visa Challenges: She narrates a specific instance of waiting in a long, cold queue for visa processing, highlighting the emotional toll and uncertainty it brings:
  "I suddenly felt like I had been dunked in ice cold water because I realized my visa expires in five days." [15:45]

• The Emotional Weight: Chandrika reflects on the high stakes of immigration processes, where the outcome directly impacts her sense of belonging and the life she has built in Dublin:
  "I have to fight for a home that I've chosen and Dublin is a home worth queuing for." [18:50]

• Human Connections: Amidst the sterile bureaucratic environment, she finds brief moments of human connection and recognition, adding a poignant layer to her experience:
  "He recognizes the place where I work, which means a lot... for that moment I wonder how many people that go through that office and get fingerprinted actually get some sort of recognition." [17:30]

Insights and Reflections:

Chandrika’s story poignantly captures the relentless challenges faced by non-EU immigrants, emphasizing the emotional and psychological struggles of maintaining a sense of home amidst procedural hardships. Her determination to claim Dublin as her home underscores the broader quest for identity and belonging that many immigrants navigate.

Post-Story Update:

Following her storytelling, Chandrika updates listeners on improvements in the Irish visa system, such as the introduction of an online appointment system that alleviates the need for prolonged queues:
"Families, students and tax paying workers won't have to queue outdoors in the cold for hours anymore. That's always a welcome relief." [19:05]
However, she remains candid about the enduring difficulties faced by non-EU immigrants, expressing hope for future citizenship and the ability to proudly identify as Irish.

Conclusion

This episode of The Moth masterfully intertwines humor, cultural nuances, and heartfelt experiences to explore the multifaceted nature of travel and the concept of home. Through Paul’s amusing yet humbling encounter in Italy, Margie’s unintended provocations in Lansing, and Chandrika’s ongoing battle with immigration systems, listeners are invited to reflect on their own definitions of home and the universal challenges of navigating unfamiliar territories.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Murray on the unintended theft:
  "I downed the wine I had in my glass, grabbed their bottle and put a little bit into my glass, tasted this dark, ruby red wine. It was absolutely gorgeous." [04:05]

• Margie Morris on the misunderstanding at school:
  "There's condoms. Now you all think that's the worst part of the story? No." [12:45]

• Chandrika on the concept of home:
  "Home is something that is intangible and massive and giant is a beast that I've never quite been able to grasp." [14:15]

Speaker Attributions:

• Paul Murray: [02:01] – [08:40]
• Margie Morris: [09:10] – [13:13]
• Chandrika Naryanan-Mohan: [14:01] – [19:28]
• Dan Kennedy (Host): Throughout the episode for introductions and transitions

Final Thoughts

The Moth episode "Home and Abroad" serves as a testament to the power of storytelling in bridging diverse experiences. By sharing these authentic and relatable narratives, the storytellers invite listeners to empathize, laugh, and ponder the intricate dance between where we come from and where we strive to belong.