International Women's Month: Alexandra Rochester & Kendi Nderitu

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Moth – International Women's Month: Alexandra Rochester & Kendi Nderitu

Release Date: March 1, 2019

Introduction

In celebration of International Women's Month, The Moth presents an inspiring episode featuring two compelling stories from women hailing from different corners of the globe. Hosted by Dan Kennedy, this episode delves into personal narratives that highlight resilience, empowerment, and the transformative power of education. Alexandra Rochester shares her journey as a ski instructor in a male-dominated industry, while Kendi Nderitu recounts her struggle and triumph in pursuing education amidst adversity.

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Alexandra Rochester: Empowering Young Girls on the Slopes

Timestamp: 03:16 – 08:25

Alexandra Rochester opens her story by reflecting on her decision to forgo a conventional career path post-university, choosing instead to become a ski instructor in Western Canada. She paints a vivid picture of her responsibilities: teaching skiing to young children under harsh winter conditions, ensuring their safety, and making the lessons enjoyable despite the grueling environment.

One of the pivotal moments in her narrative involves her group of seven-year-old girls, whom she affectionately describes as "eight small, erratic, excitable, clumsy, whining, tired, adorable children." Alexandra emphasizes the challenge of balancing safety with fostering their skiing skills, especially as each child progresses at a different rate.

A significant turning point occurs when Alexandra grapples with advice from her male colleagues to instill competitiveness among her students. She recounts her internal conflict:

“I was tired of competing, I was tired of it feeling like skiing was about being better than somebody else.” (04:45)

Rejecting the competitive approach, Alexandra seeks an alternative method to inspire her students. Her breakthrough comes during a chairlift ride where she decides to use music as a motivational tool. She introduces songs like Katy Perry's "Roar" and Taylor Swift's "Fearless," which become anthems that empower the girls to confront their fears.

The culmination of her efforts is beautifully illustrated when she leads her students up a challenging Black Diamond run. Facing their fears, the girls successfully navigate the difficult slope, resulting in moments of pure joy and self-realization. Alexandra observes:

“There was a specific kind of smile they get when they've got two scoops of ice cream or they've met Mickey Mouse or they've had fun. But that day I got to see the smile when they realized they'd accessed their own superpowers.” (07:50)

This experience not only boosts the girls' confidence but also reaffirms Alexandra's belief in fostering intrinsic motivation over external competition. Her story underscores the impact of mentorship and the importance of creating supportive environments for young girls to thrive.

Notable Insights:

• The significance of non-competitive encouragement in education.
• The role of music and positive reinforcement in building confidence.
• Challenging gender norms within professional settings.

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Kendi Nderitu: Triumph Through Education in Adverse Circumstances

Timestamp: 09:18 – 15:30

Kendi Nderitu's narrative transports listeners to a rural village in Kenya, where she and her mother are compelled to relocate from the city due to dwindling resources. As a "city girl" accustomed to modern amenities, Kendi faces immediate and profound challenges adapting to village life, including limited access to clean water, electricity, and education.

The story delves into Kendi's struggles with social acceptance as she becomes the target of relentless bullying by local children. Their taunts escalate from mockery of her language skills to physical aggression, culminating in instances where stones are thrown at her, resulting in injuries. This hostile environment fuels Kendi's determination to excel academically as a means of escaping the village.

A pivotal moment in her story occurs during the Kenya Certificate of Primary Education examinations in November 1993. Kendi describes the intense anticipation and anxiety leading up to her results:

“I was anxious, worried, tense. What if I didn't do too well? What if I was confined to life in the village like I had done so many other times in the last month.” (13:45)

Her hard work pays off when she scores 500 marks, securing her admission to her dream school. The revelation of her success is met with unexpected applause from the very children who once tormented her. This transformation illustrates the profound impact of academic achievement on personal identity and social standing.

“This was the first time that I had known the joy of achievement, the joy of success. I understood then the power of being celebrated.” (14:30)

Kendi's story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of education. Her journey from exclusion and adversity to triumph emphasizes the critical role that education plays in empowering individuals to overcome societal barriers.

Notable Insights:

• The role of education as a catalyst for personal and social transformation.
• Overcoming adversity through perseverance and academic excellence.
• The impact of societal recognition on self-esteem and future opportunities.

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Conclusion

This episode of The Moth serves as a powerful homage to the resilience and strength of women worldwide. Through the heartfelt stories of Alexandra Rochester and Kendi Nderitu, listeners are reminded of the profound impact that education, mentorship, and supportive environments have on personal growth and empowerment. Celebrating International Women's Month, these narratives not only inspire but also highlight the ongoing struggles and triumphs faced by women in diverse settings.

The Moth continues to champion gender equity and women's rights, offering a platform for voices that articulate the complexities of their experiences. For more stories and information on international women's narratives, visit themoth.org.

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Notable Quotes:

• Alexandra Rochester (04:45): “I was tired of competing, I was tired of it feeling like skiing was about being better than somebody else.”

• Alexandra Rochester (07:50): “There was a specific kind of smile they get when they've got two scoops of ice cream or they've met Mickey Mouse or they've had fun. But that day I got to see the smile when they realized they'd accessed their own superpowers.”

• Kendi Nderitu (13:45): “I was anxious, worried, tense. What if I didn't do too well? What if I was confined to life in the village like I had done so many other times in the last month.”

• Kendi Nderitu (14:30): “This was the first time that I had known the joy of achievement, the joy of success. I understood then the power of being celebrated.”

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Additional Resources:

• Alexandra Rochester: Alexandra transitioned from ski instructing to careers in baking, radio production, and writing. She is currently developing a novel about life in a mountain town.

• Kendi Nderitu: With over 14 years in the IT industry, Kendi is the founder of She Goes Tech, mentoring young girls in science-related fields. She also conducts storytelling workshops through The Moth's Global Community Program.

For more information on The Moth and to explore additional stories, visit themoth.org.

Transcript

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[Kathryn Burns]

This is Kathryn Burns, the Moth's artistic director. I have exciting news. Our new book is about to be released. It's called Occasional True Stories about Facing the Impossible. It's got stories from some of our biggest names, including Adam Gopnik, Krista Tippett, Andrew Solomon, Roseanne Cash, Ophira Eisenberg, and Wang Ping, with an introduction by Meg Wolitzer. But it's us. So you'll also hear stories from a 15 year old saving a life in Chicago, a mother of triplets trekking to the north pole, and a 90 year old Russian man talking about his standoff with the kgb. At the risk of insufferably tooting our own horn, we've already gotten a few good reviews. Kirkus refers to captivating, artfully wrought tales, heartfelt stories bear eloquent witness to hopes, dreams and triumphs, and Booklist writes each story is as captivating as the one before it. If the Moth's live events are full of people gently holding their beating hearts up to the mic in front of a breathless audience, these written adaptations definitely do such sacrifices justice. The book is available for pre order right now. If you love books, pre ordering is important because it shows publishers what readers would love more of what they're excited about. So if you love the Moth and books and stories, it would be a huge help to us if you consider pre ordering. Thank you all for listening.

[Dan Kennedy]

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy and on this episode we're celebrating International Women's Month with two stories from two incredible women on opposite sides of the world. First up, Alexandra Rochester. She's from England, but she actually told this story at the Moth Story Slam in Nashville while she was traveling. The theme of the night was education. Here's Alexandra.

[Alexandra Rochester]

When I graduated from university, the only thing that I knew for sure was that I did not want to get a real job. So I moved to Western Canada to become a ski instructor. The requirements to teach small children how to ski on a mountain are pretty minimal. You can take a six week course to make sure that you can ski pretty well and you learn a few other words other than pizza and and french fry, which for those of you that don't know, those are the shapes that your feet make as they go down the mountain. And then after that, you are responsible for eight small, erratic, excitable, clumsy, whining, tired, adorable children. And that was my job and I had to keep them safe and not kill them on a mountain in which it frequently reached temperatures of 0 degrees Fahrenheit. The winds were strong enough to blow me over, and you frequently had the experience of skiing inside a cloud. And I had to make this fun because that's all kids care about. But I also had to make this I had to make them good skiers because their parents were paying a lot of money for these lessons. My favorite class was a group of eight seven year old girls. They all wore pink and purple ski jackets and loved to talk about their American Girl dolls and Taylor Swift a lot. And we were BFFs pretty much all the time. But every time I was able to give one of the girls a specific piece of praise for how she was skiing and I couldn't give it to another girl because she just wasn't there yet. Because kids learn at different speeds and that's totally fine. It was a challenging thing to experience and watch in these tiny little innocent girls. And then it was time for them to ski Black Diamonds, which are the more technical ski. And they would quake in their uncomfortable plastic ski boots and they would ski with their mittens in their mouths because they were so scared. And I needed to figure out a way that they would be more assertive without it just being based purely on my praise. So I turned to my more Experienced male colleagues and they said, competition, they need to want to beat somebody else. So the only way works every time. This did not sit well with me. Ski instructing is a male dominated industry with there being roughly seven male instructors to every one female. I had been taught by male ski instructors to be aggressive and to want the biggest, fastest, gnarliest, steepest line whilst also competing for who had the best turn shape. If I simply said I had a fun day skiing, it would be countered with, yeah, but I found the most snow and had the best day. I was tired of competing, I was tired of it feeling like skiing was about being better than somebody else. And I didn't want these girls to think they were only good if they were better than somebody else. And that skiing was something that you had to be praised for. Because when I ski on these frozen water molecules down these 45 degree angled slopes, I feel like I'm flying. And that's what I wanted it to be for them. For them. And so I struggled with this for a couple of weeks. And then on one of our many chairlift rides in which we had decided that Katy Perry's Roar was her best song, it hit me and then I hit play. So on every chairlift, on every gondola ride after that, we listened to Katy Perry's Roar, we danced to Taylor Swift's Fearless, and we sung along with Sarah Bareilles Brave. And I didn't explain to the girls why we were doing this. They just thought I was the weirdest and worst singing ski instructor they'd ever met. And then I took them to the top of a Black diamond run. It was the kind of run where it just drops off the side of a cliff and you can see all of the ice and rocks and bumps that may well lead to you breaking a leg. And all these teeny tiny little girls said, you want us to ski that? I said, no, I know you can ski that. You know how to pole plant, you know how to control your turn shape. You are brave, you are fearless, and you will roar. And then I made them roar just to get the point across. And then we all skied it. And they all nailed it, every one of them. And I've seen a lot of smiles on kids faces and there's a specific kind of smile they get when they've got two scoops of ice cream or they've met Mickey Mouse or they've had fun. But that day I got to see the smile when they realized they'd accessed their own superpowers and that they could do something, anything in that moment. And that was really magical for me to see. And then the smile I got to give when I went back to my male colleagues and said that I had ignored their advice and I had taken Taylor Swift's. That was a pretty special smile for me too. Thank you.

[Dan Kennedy]

That was Alexandra Rochester. Alexandra intended to ski instruct in Whistler, British Columbia, for six months. But of course, she's still living there. Eight years later, retired from instructing. She's now a baker, a radio producer and a writer. She's currently working on a novel about the highs and lows of living in the peculiar mountain town that she calls home. You can see some photos of Alexandra hitting the slopes in the extras for this episode on our site, themoth.org up next, we have Kendi and Diritu. Kendi came to the Moth through our Global Community program and she actually told this story at a moth night during the UN General Assembly. Here's Kendi live at the Moth.

[Kendi Indiritu]

It's dusk and the night is quickly falling. My mother and I are walking down a dusty road. We have jerry cans at hand in search for clean water. The stream is about a kilometer away. I can hear her grumbling under her breath, which tells me she hates the village life as much as I do. You see, I was born a city girl. I lived in the city for 12 years. The move from the city was sudden. My mother explained that we ran out of resources and so could not sustain an urban life. This is the first month in the village. The realities of the village are different. We have to walk long distances to tend to the farm, where we have to stay in dark homes because there is no electricity. The city had flowing tap water. There was stomach. There were storey buildings. I thrived in the city. The kids of the village did not make settling in the village very easy. They would mock and tease me. At first it was that I did not speak the local language too well. And so they would point at me, make faces and mimic me. Then they would break out into outright laughter. They loved to pick on my forehead. They said it was big. Their aim to alienate me. With time, they became even more aggressive. They turned physical. One time they threw stones at me and a stone hit my head. When I would get too close to them, they'd shove me to the side. Other times they would charge at me, hoping to scare me enough to run away. I learned quickly that I needed a ticket out of the village and I understood that ticket was going to be education. And so for the year that followed, I buried myself in books. The more they bullied me, the harder I studied. Fueled by the passion to leave and disengage from the village, I set myself a goal. Come November 1993, I was required to sit for a key examination, the Kenya Certificate of Primary Education to to move from junior school to senior school. Then, a month later, in December, the cabinet secretary for Education would come to national television and invite all pupils to pick their resorts the following day. That night, I hardly slept. Being that I studied some 50 km away from home, the easiest way for me to pick my resorts was by calling. It's either I used a house phone to call, which we didn't have, or I used the public telephone, which was some 2km away from home. And so, on the morning of the big day, I made my way up the tarmac that I remember as one of the hardest walks I've had to make in life. I was anxious, worried, tense. What if I didn't do too well? What if I was confined to life in the village like I had done so many other times in the last month, I made mental tabulation of what I expected my result would be. And as it was already known publicly that the highest score in that exam in the village was 454 marks out of a possible 700, an equivalent of a B minus. I wondered what would my results be at this point, I could see the telephone across the road, not too far. It was housed in a red metallic booth. Around it were big, chunky trees. I crossed the tarmac and on opening the booth, stepping in, I said a quick prayer. I then raised the receiver and with shaky fingers dialed the number that had been given. It was a relief to hear the dial on the other end, and an even bigger relief to hear a gentle voice invite me to state how they could help me. I went on to give my index number, which was my unique identifier, and I requested that they read out the results for me. I repeated the score just to be sure that I had had the right thing. And so I said aloud the score of 500, which was an equivalent of an A. As soon as I did, I had a loud applause around me. I looked around and I saw about 10 kids of the village. Unknown to me, the kids had walked up the tarmac before me, and they had hidden themselves behind the booth, behind the building, behind the trees. And as they made their way towards me in celebration and in shock, this time not laughing and not teasing me, and I still confused. I remember that moment because they made me an instant village heroine. This was the first time that I had known the joy of achievement, the joy of success. I understood then the power of being celebrated. It is this time that I understood very well and even greater the payoff of hard work and the payoff of excellence. I got admission into the school of my dreams. That moment set pace for the rest of my life. Thank you.

[Dan Kennedy]

That was Kendi Indiritu. Kendi has worked in the IT industry for over 14 years and she's the founder of she Goes Tech where she coaches and mentors girls to take up science related careers. She's also an instructor now in the Moth's Global Community Program, teaching storytelling workshops all over Africa and South Asia. Gender equity and women's rights are always part of the work that we do here at the Moth and you can find more global stories of women and girls on our website, themoth.org also a quick reminder, the launch of the Moth's third book, Occasional Magic, is quickly approaching. The book comes out Tuesday, March 19th. You can pre order it on our site themoth.org you can, if you so desire, read my story about the last time I went to therapy. It's got quite a twist in the ending. No spoilers, but I think therapy and I have made a clean break. That's going to do it this time around. We're going to be back soon with some more new stories. Until then, from all of us here at the Moth, have a story worthy week.

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Dan Kennedy is the author of Loser Goes First, Rock on and American Spirit. He's also a regular host and storyteller.

[Dan Kennedy]

With the Moth Podcast, production by Julia Purcell and Paul Rue West. The Moth Podcast is presented by prx, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more [e-mail].