The Moth Podcast: Jen Lee & Matthew Dicks – StorySLAM Favorites

Release Date: September 30, 2014

Introduction

In the September 30, 2014 episode of The Moth podcast, host Dan Kennedy introduces two compelling stories from The Moth StorySLAM series. The episode, titled “Jen Lee & Matthew Dicks: StorySLAM Favorites,” delves into deeply personal narratives centered around the themes of motherhood and envy. Both storytellers share poignant, relatable experiences that highlight the complexities of parenting and the subtle challenges of growing up in poverty.

Jen Lee: Navigating Motherhood and Open Conversations

Live in New York, 2012 – Theme: Mothers

Jen Lee opens her story by reflecting on a pivotal moment from her childhood that unexpectedly shapes her approach to motherhood. She recounts an incident from fifth grade, triggered by a school lesson on reproductive science that required her mother to have a candid discussion about human biology—a topic Jen's family had traditionally approached with great reservation.

“It just came out of nowhere like a freight train and hit me. And it was just all bad news. It was just all very, very, very bad news.” (05:30)

Jen describes her mother's attempt to educate her about the male and female reproductive systems using a World Book Encyclopedia. Coming from a conservative religious background, Jen was unprepared for the explicitness of the information presented, leading to confusion and anxiety.

Fast forward to a morning when Jen’s eight-year-old daughter interrupts her routine with a biology question about sperm cells. Jen’s initial reaction is one of panic—“hell no, we are not having this conversation right now.” (07:45)—as she's juggling morning routines and school preparations. However, this unexpected query forces her to confront her own unresolved experiences.

After a brief and unproductive discussion with her daughter's teacher, Jen realizes the importance of maintaining an open dialogue with her child. She eventually sits down with her daughter to explain the basics of human reproduction, mirroring the unpreparedness she felt as a child. This moment becomes a catalyst for Jen to rethink her role as a mother.

“I get that being a good mother isn't about one moment that you get wrong or right. But it's about just willing to be in this conversation forever, being willing to figure it out as we go.” (10:55)

Jen’s narrative emphasizes the ongoing nature of parenting, highlighting that effective motherhood involves continuous learning and adaptation. She draws parallels between her own upbringing and her current parenting style, showcasing a desire to break generational patterns and foster a more open, honest relationship with her daughter.

Key Insights:

• The impact of childhood experiences on parenting styles.
• The necessity of open communication between parents and children.
• Overcoming generational gaps in discussing sensitive topics.

Matthew Dicks: The Hidden Struggles of Poverty and the Mask of Competence

Live in Boston, 2013 – Theme: Envy

Matthew Dicks delivers a heartfelt account of his realization of poverty during his early school years. In fourth grade, during a lunch count led by Mrs. Laverne, Matthew is identified as a student receiving free lunch for the first time, a moment that sparks an acute awareness of his family's financial struggles.

“Up until that moment, I really hadn't realized that my family was poor.” (11:40)

Matthew describes the subtle humiliation and competitive environment of being poor, especially in the 1980s—a time when poverty was less visible compared to today. He recounts practical strategies he employed to conceal his economic status, such as hiding the quality of his clothes and improvising during Boy Scout camping trips to hide his inadequate gear.

An illustrative anecdote involves Matthew racing his friend Peter on their bicycles. Equipped with a battered Huffy bike versus Peter’s shiny 10-speed, the race starkly symbolizes the material disparities between them.

“Up until that point, I had had this idealized version of life where effort and intelligence and creativity and hard work will always overcome whatever material lacking you may have.” (14:50)

Despite his relentless effort, Matthew realizes that no amount of hard work can bridge the gap created by economic disparity. This epiphany leads to an emotional breakdown, underscoring the deep-seated impact of poverty on his self-esteem and social interactions.

“I cried the whole ride home.” (17:20)

Matthew's story sheds light on the invisible burdens carried by children in impoverished households. It highlights the lengths to which individuals go to mask their struggles and the profound emotional toll that concealed poverty can exact.

Key Insights:

• The early awareness and impact of poverty on self-perception.
• Coping mechanisms developed to conceal economic hardships.
• The emotional consequences of financial disparities among peers.

Conclusion

This episode of The Moth masterfully weaves together two distinct yet emotionally resonant stories that explore fundamental human experiences—motherhood and poverty. Jen Lee’s narrative underscores the importance of ongoing communication and adaptability in parenting, while Matthew Dicks’ story poignantly illustrates the hidden struggles of growing up in poverty and the emotional resilience it demands.

Both storytellers offer valuable insights into their personal journeys, inviting listeners to empathize and reflect on their own lives. The episode serves as a testament to The Moth’s ability to transform personal anecdotes into universal stories that resonate deeply with a diverse audience.

Notable Quotes:

• Jen Lee on unexpected parenting challenges: “It was just all bad news. It was just all very, very, very bad news.” (05:30)
• Jen Lee on the essence of good motherhood: “being a good mother isn't about one moment that you get wrong or right. But it's about just willing to be in this conversation forever, being willing to figure it out as we go.” (10:55)
• Matthew Dicks on realizing poverty: “Up until that moment, I really hadn't realized that my family was poor.” (11:40)
• Matthew Dicks on the illusion of effort overcoming material lack: “I had had this idealized version of life where effort and intelligence and creativity and hard work will always overcome whatever material lacking you may have.” (14:50)
• Matthew Dicks on his emotional response: “I cried the whole ride home.” (17:20)

Through these stories, The Moth continues to illuminate the shared human condition, fostering a deeper understanding and connection among its listeners.