Summary of "Jen Lee: Targeted" Episode on The Moth Podcast

Episode Details:

• Title: The Moth
• Host: The Moth
• Storyteller: Jen Lee
• Episode Title: Targeted
• Release Date: May 16, 2011

Introduction

In the "Targeted" episode of The Moth podcast, storyteller Jen Lee recounts her tumultuous journey balancing her commitments to Mary Kay Cosmetics and her role in a progressive evangelical church. Recorded live in 2010, her narrative delves into themes of identity, faith, and the conflict between commercial ambition and personal beliefs.

Dual Loyalties: Mary Kay and Faith (02:03 - 05:30)

Jen begins by outlining her upbringing within two dominant frameworks: her family's conservative East Evangelical Christian faith and the unofficial yet pervasive influence of Mary Kay Cosmetics. Despite her personal inclination towards a "brainy grunge" persona—eschewing makeup and favoring hemp jewelry—she found herself entangled in the Mary Kay business model to escape her past.

Jen Lee (02:56): "I was this brainy grunge girl from Boulder County. I wore hemp jewelry and clothes from the Salvation Army. I had moral objections to wearing makeup."

Her decision to join Mary Kay seemed strategic and liberating at first, especially after earning a scholarship to attend college out of state. However, the dual expectations from both Mary Kay and her church began to blur, creating internal turmoil.

The Pressure to Perform: Sales and Servanthood (05:31 - 09:15)

Jen describes the rigorous training and practices required by Mary Kay, particularly the art of "Warm Chatter"—engaging strangers in conversations to secure business opportunities. She meticulously adopted these techniques, dedicating significant time each week to her sales efforts.

Jen Lee (07:45): "I am going to be the queen of Warm Chatter."

Simultaneously, her involvement in the church's leadership demanded a similar performance-oriented approach, focusing on branding, marketing, and outreach.

Jen observes striking similarities between the two worlds:

Jen Lee (09:00): "Mary Kay was giving out free samples. But at the church, we were having free events to try and get people in the doors."

Both environments emphasized service, whether it was "changing women's lives" through products or "saving people's souls" through faith, reinforcing a transactional view of relationships and outreach.

The Breaking Point: Realizing the Conflict (09:16 - 11:30)

The convergence of her roles led Jen to a pivotal moment while performing a Mary Kay pitch at Target. Confronted by a woman who rejected her approach, Jen sensed the dissonance between her intent to help and the superficial methods she employed.

Jen Lee (11:05): "Does she need Mary Kay or does she need Jesus?"

This encounter illuminated the inherent flaw in her approach: viewing others as "broken" and in need of fixing through her dual lenses of commerce and faith.

Consequences of Leaving: Identity and Belonging (11:31 - 13:45)

Determined to reclaim her sense of self, Jen decides to withdraw from both Mary Kay and her church leadership. This decision, however, comes at a significant personal cost. She grapples with the loss of identity, belonging, and the intertwined fates of her friends and family involved in Mary Kay.

Jen Lee (12:15): "I lost my identity. I lost belonging. I lost the ability to ever be that certain or righteous about anything ever again."

The emotional weight of leaving manifests in her fear of mistrust and the devastation of abandoning systems she once believed in.

A Fresh Start and Lingering Doubts (13:46 - 14:09)

Jen and her husband move to Brooklyn, seeking a geographical and emotional distance from their past commitments. However, she finds herself confronted by familiar patterns in the new community, particularly with organizations like the Park Slope Food Co-Op.

Ultimately, Jen stands firm in her decision to reject structured affiliations, reaffirming her commitment to personal authenticity over imposed identities.

Jen Lee (14:00): "Sorry, I don't do religions anymore. Thank you."

Conclusion

Jen Lee's story in "Targeted" serves as a poignant exploration of the struggles inherent in balancing personal beliefs with external expectations. Her journey underscores the importance of self-awareness and the courage to redefine one's path amidst conflicting influences.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jen Lee (02:56): "I was this brainy grunge girl from Boulder County. I wore hemp jewelry and clothes from the Salvation Army. I had moral objections to wearing makeup."

• Jen Lee (07:45): "I am going to be the queen of Warm Chatter."

• Jen Lee (09:00): "Mary Kay was giving out free samples. But at the church, we were having free events to try and get people in the doors."

• Jen Lee (11:05): "Does she need Mary Kay or does she need Jesus?"

• Jen Lee (12:15): "I lost my identity. I lost belonging. I lost the ability to ever be that certain or righteous about anything ever again."

• Jen Lee (14:00): "Sorry, I don't do religions anymore. Thank you."

This detailed summary captures Jen Lee's compelling narrative, highlighting her internal conflicts and ultimate quest for authenticity. Her story resonates with anyone grappling with balancing personal values against societal and organizational pressures.