Jim Bennett & Rebecca Addelman: StorySLAM Favorites

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Moth – Jim Bennett & Rebecca Addelman: StorySLAM Favorites

Release Date: January 7, 2013

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The Moth podcast episode titled "Jim Bennett & Rebecca Addelman: StorySLAM Favorites" features two compelling true stories from The Moth’s StorySLAM series. Hosted by The Moth, a renowned platform for live, personal storytelling, this episode delves into themes of activism, resilience, and the deep bonds of family. Below is a detailed summary of the key points, discussions, insights, and conclusions from each storyteller, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps for reference.

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Jim Bennett: Advocating for Marriage Equality Through Unexpected Encounters

Timestamp: [02:52] – [08:44]

Jim Bennett, a Chicagoan and graduate of Second City's Conservatory program, combines his comedic talents with his role as the Midwest Regional Director of Lambda Legal, an organization dedicated to advancing LGBTQ+ rights. In his StorySLAM favorite, Bennett recounts his experiences leading up to the historic victory for marriage equality in Iowa.

Key Points:

1. Five-Year Struggle for Marriage Equality:

   • Bennett describes the extensive efforts involved in campaigning for marriage equality in Iowa, including organizing town halls, participating in forums, and navigating court cases.
   • Notable Quote: "We have been fighting against this church for the last five years on a variety of issues. And so I look back to the lady, and I start to tell her, and then she just says, we're fine with gay marriage. We don't go to this church. They're crazy. We're just here for the balls." ([08:44])

2. Ragbrai – The Great Bike Ride Across Iowa:

   • To celebrate their victory, Bennett and his team decide to participate in Ragbrai, an annual 400-mile bike ride across Iowa organized by the Des Moines Register.
   • They don Lambda Legal jerseys, symbolizing their advocacy, during the ride.
   • The team encounters mixed reactions from fellow Iowans—many are supportive, sharing their congratulations, while others display disapproval through stern looks.

3. The Handballs Incident:

   • On an exceptionally hot and windy day, the team becomes hungry and spots a sign for "ham balls" 20 miles away. Excited for a hearty meal, Bennett’s partner, Terry, is eager to stop.
   • As miles pass, the sign changes to "handballs," directing them to an Evangelical Lutheran Church, a group they've previously opposed on various issues.
   • Notable Quote: "We're on Team Lambda Legal. Team Lambda Legal." ([08:44])
   • Embarrassed by their visible association with Lambda Legal, they decide to downplay their affiliation, claiming they are from the Unitarian Church instead.
   • Upon arriving at the church's basement restaurant, they attempt to enjoy their meal discreetly but are soon approached by church members interested in their "handballs."
   • The interaction escalates as Bennett realizes they cannot escape the confrontation, highlighting the ongoing tensions between advocacy groups and opposing community factions.

Insights and Conclusions:

Bennett’s story illustrates the challenges and unexpected encounters faced by activists even after significant victories. The humorous yet poignant narrative underscores the resilience required in advocacy work and the personal sacrifices made in the fight for equality. Bennett’s ability to navigate these situations with humor reflects the delicate balance between commitment to a cause and personal dignity.

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Rebecca Addelman: Transforming Adversity into Creativity

Timestamp: [09:22] – [15:19]

Rebecca Addelman, a writer and comedian based in Los Angeles who writes for the Fox television show New Girl, shares a deeply personal story about her older brother Joe’s battle with bone cancer and his indomitable spirit in the face of adversity.

Key Points:

1. Joe’s Battle with Bone Cancer:

   • At nine years old, Joe is diagnosed with bone cancer in his shoulder blade, leading to the removal of his entire shoulder blade. This surgery leaves his arm attached to his body solely by muscles and ligaments.
   • Despite the physical challenges, Joe channels his energy into inventing games to entertain himself and his younger sister, Rebecca.

2. Inventing Games as Coping Mechanism:

   • Joe creates imaginative and physically challenging games to pass the time, exemplifying his creativity and resilience.
   • Notable Quote: "When he was nine years old, my older brother was diagnosed with bone cancer... He invented his own games and he turned what would be a handicap into this amazing prank." ([09:22])

3. Memorable Childhood Games:

   • Stuffed Animal Tag in the Dark: Turning off the lights and using stuffed animals to play tag.
   • Jump and Trip: Jumping on the family bed while their father attempts to trip them.
   • Nostril Torture: A less favored game where Joe would pin Rebecca’s finger between his nose and mouth.

4. The Indiana Jones Incident:

   • Joe devises a complex version of playing Indiana Jones, involving climbing from the ground floor to a second-floor balcony while singing the Indiana Jones theme song.
   • During one of these games, the sheet Joe tied slips, causing Rebecca to fall and feel momentarily paralyzed.
   • Notable Quote: "All I could see staring up was Joe and his face and his eyes... he's made his whole life work." ([09:22])

5. Joe’s Triumph and Future:

   • Joe emerges from the incident unscathed, further cementing his role as Rebecca’s fearless playmate.
   • Now 34 and cancer-free, Joe recently married and desires to become a father, although he faces infertility due to chemotherapy.
   • Rebecca expresses her mixed emotions—joy for Joe’s happiness and subtle jealousy for the new games his future children will share with him.
   • Notable Quote: "He's so good at this... and I was sad because that means I have to say goodbye to my playmate." ([09:22])

Insights and Conclusions:

Addelman’s story is a heartfelt tribute to her brother's courage and ingenuity in overcoming life-altering challenges. It highlights the profound impact of sibling relationships and the ways in which children can support and inspire each other during difficult times. Joe's ability to transform his physical limitations into creative play not only strengthened his bond with Rebecca but also serves as a testament to the human spirit's capacity to adapt and thrive.

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Final Reflections

This episode of The Moth masterfully presents two distinct yet thematically interconnected stories. Jim Bennett’s narrative showcases the complexities of activism and the personal encounters that shape public advocacy. In contrast, Rebecca Addelman’s heartfelt account delves into familial love and resilience in the face of illness. Together, these stories underscore the diverse avenues through which individuals navigate and overcome their respective challenges, leaving listeners with a deeper appreciation for the human capacity to find strength and creativity amidst adversity.

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For more stories and live events by The Moth, visit themoth.org.

Transcript

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[Dan Kennedy]

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[Jim Bennett]

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy. This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com, the Internet's leading provider of audiobooks, with more than 100,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature. You may like to consider listening to a book written and read by one of our storytellers, Andrew Solomon. In his latest New York Times bestseller, Far from the Tree, Andrew explores through true stories the relationship between parent and child and its powerful impact. That's Far from the Tree, written and read by Andrew Solomon, and it's available from Audible. To try Audible free today and get a free audiobook of your choice, go to audible.comthemoth that's audible.comthemoth this week we bring you two stories from our Storyslam series, which, as you know, is our open mic storytelling competition series. The first story by Jim Bennett was told live at our Storyslam series in Los Angeles, which is sponsored by kcrw. Here's Jim.

[Rebecca Adelman]

Well, I was on the team that helped win marriage equality in Iowa. I worked for Lambda Legal. Thanks. And it was five years leading up to that victory. And so a lot of town halls and going to forums, and then, of course, the case that went all through the court. And to celebrate, we decided the best thing to do would be to do Ragbrai. And for those of you who don't know, Ragbrai is the Des Moines Registers annual Great Bike Ride across Iowa. So it starts at the Missouri river, and it's 10,000 bikers, and then you end at the Mississippi River. And it went really pretty well. And so we were all wearing our Lambda Legal jerseys, and people were very nice, and they would tell us they're getting married, or they would congratulate us on our victory. And every now and then, you would have people that really were not so happy with our win, but they're Iowans, so they would just give you a very stern or disappointed look. But we could deal with that, and we were all right. And there was one time that really stuck out because it was just a very rough day. It was incredibly hot, and the wind was blowing from all four directions, as it often does on these bike rides. And we were starving. And all at once, like from a mirage in a desert, we see this sign, and it says, ham balls in 20 miles. And mind you, ham as in pig, not a hand. Ham balls. And my partner Terry, who's very fond of meat, was like, this is going to be great. This is exactly where we're going to eat. And I just smiled at him because I was pretty certain he would forget about it in time. And in five more miles, we see a sign, 15 miles to Ham balls. And Terry, again is just like, oh, my God, I love ham and I love balls. This is going to be great. We're going to have such a good time. And so I just thought, okay, we'll go, because I have no other alternative. And in 10 miles, we see the sign, but this was a little different. It said, handballs in 10 miles, but this time it included the location. And the location was this Evangelical Lutheran Church. Well, we were familiar with this Evangelical Lutheran Church because they had been posting signs along the route of fetuses in different stages of development. And those fetuses would have these little thought bubbles, and they would be thinking things like, I hope my first bike is red, or. Or, I can't wait to go on the first bike ride with my dad. And one of the fetuses even had a little safety helmet. So that we were reminded to Wear a safety helmet. And this was just outrageous. And it made us so mad because we kept thinking, there is no way that that fetus is thinking about their first bike ride. They have a million other things on their mind at that time. So I told Terry, there's no way we can do this, this handballs, because this church is the enemy. Like, we have been fighting against this church for the last five years on a variety of issues. And Terry was nonplussed. We are going to go. We have to have handballs. I've got to have one of these handballs. So we decide we're going to go. And I tell him, look, we're not telling anyone in the group that we have had that we've gone to this church. We're just going to tell them we went to the Unitarian Church and had the spaghetti supper, and they were all right with that. And so we agreed on our story. We get to the church, and of course, there's the bike riding fetuses proudly displayed on the lawn. And we get in and we pay our money, and we start going down these stairs. And I realize we're going to be trapped in a basement, in this basement with all these Lutherans. And I look at Terry and I tell him, just don't say anything to anyone. Just get your handball, eat it and get out. We're going. And so he's in agreement. That's all we're going to do. We get in the line and we get our utensils and our green beans from the can and our cheesy scalloped potatoes. And then these handballs. And they're like this shellac, red, and they're about twice the size of a meatball. And the cook told us they're exactly like meatloaf, except instead of hamburger, it's ham, and instead of saltines, it's graham crackers. And instead of a loaf, it's sort of a circular formation, so. So exactly like meatloaf. So I take one, and Terry fills his plate up, and we go to a table that's pretty empty in the back. And within minutes, four women, I assume, from the church come over and they decide they're going to sit down with us. So they have. They're really engaged in this conversation about the handballs. And one of them is upset because she feels they're too fibrous, and another person doesn't understand the texture, and they're wondering if the church changed the recipe. And. And within seconds, Terry is completely engaged. So he's asking for the recipe and he wants to know if he can put cheese on it. And he wants to know how their recipe compares with the church. And so, of course, they like us. And so we start talking, and they want to know how we're enjoying the ride and how we like Iowa and then where we're from and then, of course, what team we're on. So then I look at Terry, and he's just staring down at his handball, rolling it around with his fork. And so I look up to them and I say, we're on Team Lambda Legal. Team Lambda Legal. And this woman stares at me, and I'm about to explain what we are, and she goes, we know who you are. And so I look over at Terry, and he is grabbing his plate and trying to figure out where the closest exit is. And I just wanted to be sick because I just felt like this has been our fight for years. We've been at all these meetings, all these town halls, but yet I've got to do it again. This is my job, and this is what I care about. And it's an important fight. And so I look back to the lady, and I start to tell her, and then she just says, we're fine with gay marriage. We don't go to this church. They're crazy. We're just here for the balls.

[Jim Bennett]

Jim Bennett, a Chicagoan and graduate of Second City's Conservatory program, writes and performs comedy. He's also advancing the gay agenda. As the Midwest regional director of Lambda Legal. He helped bring marriage equality to Iowa and is now working on Illinois. Jim has add. The second story we're going to hear today is by Rebecca Adelman. And it was also told live at one of the moth story slams in Los Angeles. The theme of the night was diy. Here's Rebecca.

[Rebecca Adelman]

When. When he was nine years old, my older brother was diagnosed with bone cancer. And it was here in his left shoulder blade. And the doctors wound up taking out his entire shoulder blade, which meant that his arm was only attached to his body with, like, muscles and ligament. That's it. To get an understanding of my brother Joe, to get to know him a bit better, he took what would be a handicap and he turned it into this amazing prank. But in junior high, he had it down to a science. What he would do if anytime he had a substitute teacher, he would pretend to trip and fall. And then he would make this elbow on his left arm go over here and touch his right hip, which, if you have a shoulder blade, you cannot do. And then he would writhe on the floor in pain. And he would be like, oh, my arm, my arm. And teachers apparently. So he said one fainted, one just like ran. And then once an ambulance was actually called. So needless to say, the kids in Joe's class really loved him, you know, and everyone loved Joe. Yeah, and I love Joe. And Joe was my best friend growing up. When he was 9 till he was 11, he was going through chemotherapy. I was 6 to age 8. And he didn't go to school for a lot of that time. He had a private tutor. And so he had a lot of extra time on his hands. And what he did with that time is he. He invented his own games and he invented all sorts of games to entertain himself. And then also me, I would do anything he did. So some of Joe's games, they're very literally named. Some of them were like stuffed animal tag in the dark. So turn off the lights, whip stuffed animals. One was jump and trip where we would jump on my parents bed and my dad would try to trip us with his legs. And another one was nostril torture. And it was. Joe would pin me down and he would take my finger and he would put it in his nose and then he would put the finger in my mouth. I didn't love that one. I played it. I played it. Anyways. Joe was sort of a master of inventing his own fun. And the only times that Joe's games weren't perfect is when he didn't invent it for, from scratch. So for example, one day he came up to me, I think he was around 10, and he was like, okay, Rebecca, we're gonna play Indiana Jones. I was like, this is awesome. Love Indiana Jones. And his version of playing Indiana Jones involved. Okay, so the house we lived in at the time had like this second floor sitting room that was kind of like a balcony that overlooked the ground floor. And his idea was he would go up to the second floor sitting room and he would tie a bunch of sheets together and he would tie the sheets to the balcony, lower them to me. I was on the ground floor and I would be playing Indiana Jones in this scenario. And I would climb from the ground floor to the top floor. And his role in the game was just to be up there singing the Indiana Jones theme song. So we got to it, you know, and so I started climbing and he's up there and he had this really high pitched boy voice. He was like, and I'm climbing, I'm feeling awesome. You know, my adrenaline's pumping and I've made it maybe Three quarters of the way up. And it was a pretty high ceilinged house. I was maybe 20ft in the air. And I saw it. I saw it happen right in front of me. And one of the nods Joe had made just like started to slip. And I like that. I just crashed to the floor right on my back. And I was paralyzed. I couldn't move. I couldn't move a muscle. I couldn't make a sound. I couldn't move my face. And all I could see staring up was Joe and his face and his eyes. And the look on his face went from shock to fear. And then like that, it went to pride. And he was beaming because in that moment, I was Indiana Jones. I was truly Indiana Jones. And this game went better than he ever possibly could have imagined. And so he came running down the stairs singing the song. He picked me up. Turns out I wasn't actually paralyzed. And dusted me off and we went off to play more games. Joe is now 34 and he's cancer free. And he. Yeah, and he just got married in January, and him and his wife are very excited to have children. They've been talking about it a lot. And he wants to be a dad, which is awesome. And I get it because he'll be a really good dad. And it's funny because as he talks about it, I was starting to have these weird feelings and I realized that I was having feelings of jealousy towards my unborn hypothetical nieces and nephews because they're going to get to play so many awesome games with Joe, you know, like, he's so good at this and. And I was sad because that means I have to. I have to say goodbye to my playmate, you know, and pass him off. And last week, Joe found out he's infertile from the chemotherapy. And I know that despite that news, he is. He's gonna find a way to have kids, you know, and he's gonna make it work because he's made his whole life work. And I also know those are like, really lucky kids. So. Thanks.

[Jim Bennett]

Rebecca Adelman is a writer and comedian who lives in Los Angeles. She currently writes for the Fox television show New Girl. This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com, the Internet's leading provider of audiobooks, with more than 100,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature and featuring audio versions of many New York Times bestsellers. To try Audible Free today and get a free audiobook of your choice, go to audible.com themoth Dan Kennedy is a.

[Dan Kennedy]

Writer and performer living in New York. He's been a part of the moth community since 1999. Follow him on Twitter ankenyc.

[Jim Bennett]

Thanks to all of you for listening and we hope you have a story worthy week. Podcast Audio production by Paul Ruest at the Argo Studios in New York. The Moth Podcast and the Radio Hour are presented by prx, the Public Radio Exchange helping make public radio more [e-mail].