Josh Swiller: What I Lost in Africa - The Moth

Summary

Summary of "Josh Swiller: What I Lost in Africa"

Introduction and Context (03:00 - 04:30)

In the compelling story "What I Lost in Africa," Josh Swiller recounts his experiences as a Peace Corps volunteer stationed in rural Zambia. Upon arrival, Josh was thrust into a challenging environment devoid of modern conveniences such as phones, roads, electricity, and even basic sanitation facilities like flush toilets and toilet paper. His primary mission was to dig wells—a critical task, as "about one out of every three, one out of every four children died from waterborne disease" (03:45).

Initial Struggles and Conflict (04:30 - 07:30)

Despite his dedication, Josh faced significant obstacles in fulfilling his mission. After a year without successfully digging a single well, frustration mounted. His efforts to engage the local community and rally support were continually thwarted by a powerful local figure—a "witch doctor" who held sway over the villagers. This man's influence was so profound that "no one would do anything he didn't say to do" (05:15).

Determined to overcome this barrier, Josh and his team attempted to negotiate with the man. Josh describes a pivotal moment during a crucial meeting: “I come from a different school of diplomacy. I came from having three brothers who were bigger than me. School where you strike fast and then follow with the left hook” (06:10). However, his confrontational approach backfired when he lost his composure and confronted the man by calling him a liar and a thief, which led to ominous warnings about curses—a reflection of the local beliefs and the gravity of his misstep.

Personal Challenges and Malaria (07:30 - 11:30)

Amidst these professional struggles, Josh found solace in the anticipation of a long-planned vacation with his girlfriend, Maria, the Peace Corps nurse. This trip to Zanzibar, a vibrant island off the coast of Tanzania, was meant to be a reprieve from the stresses of his mission. Josh paints a vivid picture of Zanzibar’s allure: “It's like the crossroads of three continents. There's Africa, the Middle East, and India” (08:45).

However, the vacation took a dire turn when Josh contracted malaria. He describes the harrowing experience of battling the illness: “I hallucinated that the ceiling fans in my hospital room were helicopter gunships” (10:10). Despite his deteriorating health, he was determined to enjoy his time with Maria, even as his condition fluctuated between fever and delirium. The ordeal culminated in a poignant moment as he recovered, only to face unforeseen loss.

The Theft Incident (11:30 - 14:00)

Upon returning to Zambia to continue his work, Josh encountered a devastating setback. At the airport, the finality of his departure weighed heavily on him, exacerbated by the theft that occurred on his beach stroll. Josh narrates the loss: “I saw two boys walking along the sand... they picked up my bag and ran away. They got everything. My shirt, my shoes, my passport, my wallet, and last but not least, my hearing aids” (12:30).

As a deaf individual who relied on his hearing aids for communication, this theft was not just a loss of possessions but a profound blow to his identity and independence. His ability to speak fluently masked his deafness, leading to internal struggles with feeling like he was “living a lie.” The theft forced Josh to confront the vulnerability of his condition, especially in an environment where he felt his deafness could never be entirely inconsequential.

Reflection and Conclusion (14:00 - 14:23)

The culmination of these events—failed projects, personal illness, and heartbreaking loss—led Josh to reflect on the nature of fairness and resilience. He muses, “We think life is so unfair. Why am I deaf? Why can't I have the vacation I want? Why can't I dig a well? Why do I get robbed?” (13:45). Despite the overwhelming challenges, Josh’s story is a testament to perseverance and the human spirit’s capacity to endure hardship. His narrative not only highlights the intricacies of working in a foreign environment but also underscores the personal battles that often lie beneath the surface of such missions.

About the Author

Josh Swiller is the author of A Memoir of Deafness and Africa and serves as a professor at Gallaudet University, the National University for the Deaf in Washington, D.C. There, he has developed programs to support America’s thousands of deafened service members, blending his personal experiences with his professional expertise to advocate for and educate others facing similar challenges.

Timestamp References:

03:45: Importance of digging wells in Zambia.
05:15: Influence of the local witch doctor.
06:10: Josh’s confrontational diplomatic approach.
08:45: Description of Zanzibar.
10:10: Josh’s experience with malaria.
12:30: Theft of Josh’s belongings, including hearing aids.
13:45: Josh’s reflections on fairness and adversity.

Note: The aforementioned timestamps correlate to specific points in Josh Swiller's story as recorded in the podcast transcript.

Transcript

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Andy Borowitz (2:33)

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Andy Borowitz. The Moth features true stories told live without notes. All stories on the Moth Podcast are taken from our ongoing storytelling series in New York and Los Angeles and from our Tour shows across the country. Visit themoth.org the story you are about to hear by Josh Swiller was recorded live at the moth main stage.

Josh Swiller (3:00)

I was a peace corps volunteer in rural Zambia, a small town in the middle of nowhere. Days travel away from phones, roads, electricity, flush toilets, toilet paper. And I was there to dig wells. I was supposed to dig wells. They really needed them. About one out of every three, one out of every four children died from waterborne disease. But I'd been there more than a year, and I hadn't dug a single well. I tried everything. I talked to all the villagers, I cajoled the community leaders, and I just couldn't get anything started. And the reason was because this one man, this. This power broker, this witch doctor stood against me. And everyone was afraid of him. And no one would do anything he didn't say to do. So finally, we have a meeting with this guy. And my friends pull me aside at this meeting, and they say, okay, Josh, this is how you have to do it. We have something called the snake in the grass. If you want something from someone higher than you in status, you don't approach them directly. You kind of weasel your way around, you flatter them, you take your time. And I come from a different school of diplomacy. I came from having three brothers who were bigger than me. School where you strike fast and then follow with the left hook. But I tried. I bit my tongue. We get to the meeting, I sit down, but I lost it. And I called him a liar. I called him a thief. I told him he was hurting his people. Afterwards, my friends were like, josh, what did you do? He's a powerful juju. He will put a curse on you. I was like, oops. So this was a low point. I wasn't getting any wells dug. I wasn't making friends. But the one thing that kept me going was that I knew I was going on vacation. I was going on this long planned vacation with my girlfriend, who was the peace corps nurse and her name was Maria, and she lived in the capital. I only saw her three or four times a year. And this was the last time we were going to get to be together before she left. Her contract was up and she'd go back to Alaska. So that kept me going. I get down to the capital, we fly to Zanzibar. Zanzibar, if you don't know, is a small island off the coast of Tanzania. And there is nothing like it on the planet. It's like the crossroads of three continents. There's Africa, the middle east, and India, you can get every single kind of fruit in the world, every spice, every flower, every seafood walking the streets. There's every single skin color in God's creation. And, like, the coconuts are the size of basketballs. We were just walking around like, wow, this is everything we hoped for. But then about three, four hours later, I start to get a fever. And it quickly dawns on us that I have malaria. So Maria takes me back to the mainland, takes me to the hospital. They put an IV in me, and I beg her, go back. It's your last week. Just get the most out of this. Soak everything up. So I don't know if you know malaria, but it's kind of like a body temperature roller coaster. First you have a fever, and then it comes down, and then your fever goes up higher, and then it comes down, and then it goes up so high that you break through and become delirious. And they told me after that, I hallucinated that the ceiling fans in my hospital room were helicopter gunships. They also asked me what a dreidel was. I said. I said, what? They said, you made it out of clay. You were singing about it all night. I didn't remember that. I didn't remember that at all. But I do remember finally, finally walking out of the hospital, weak but on my feet and walking to the beach and seeing that big green Indian Ocean, taking off my bag, going in the water and feeling like, okay, you know, it was just like this warm, gorgeous, million little tongues licking you all over. I'm like, all right, this hasn't been the perfect vacation, but I have my health. There's still, you know, maybe I'll even go back to Zanzibar and surprise Maria, and we'll have a couple days together. I think right at that moment, I look at the beach, back at the beach, and I see two boys walking along the sand. And I see them walk up to my bag. I see them pick it up and run away. They got everything. My shirt, my shoes, my passport, my wallet, and last but not least, my hearing aids. See, I'm completely deaf. I can't hear anything without my hearing aids. I had about 10 years of daily speech therapy after school to learn to speak, and it worked really well. I speak very well. I speak so well that people don't think I'm deaf. I speak so well that people don't get how hard it is. And that's frustrating. It's sort of like I felt like I was living a lie, you know, I was lying to everyone. Yeah. Yeah. I can hear you. And then to myself, it doesn't matter how much I'm missing if they think I can hear. So that's how I lived growing up. And I was fed up with it. And I decided I want to go someplace so far away and so intense and so immediate, and I find a cause that's so intense that my deafness won't matter. I thought that was Africa, but then when I saw these boys running away, I was thinking, how can deafness ever not matter? And when Maria and I were at the airport saying goodbye, and I'm talking and she's writing notes back to me so I can understand her, and everything's changed, and there's this ocean between us. I mean, how can deafness not matter? So the consulate gave me a passport, gave me some money, flew back to Zambia, and then I was on a bus back to my village. And, oh, I was thinking, just want to get back, get past this broken vacation and get to my spare hearing aids that I had back in my hut. So I'm on the bus, sitting over the rear wheels, and it was an old school bus painted green. And if you remember old school buses, the rear wheels, there's like, a wheel well, which is okay if you're in sixth grade, but not if you're six feet tall. So I was sitting there three, four hours. I was like, all right, this is okay. But finally I was like, too much. I mean, my knees were in my face. So I got up, and I walked to the front of the bus, and I saw a little boy sitting there. And he sees me, looks at me, and I can remember his expression, not really his features, but he looks at me, and I tell him, switch seats with me. And he does. Because in Zambia, children do what adults tell them, just as women do what men tell them. And everyone does what the white man tells them. God knows why. But he goes back, takes my seat. I take his. About five minutes later, the bus swerves off the road into the bush, bounces around the undergrowth, and then swerves back onto the road, but it swerves too fast. So we slam into the ground like 60 miles. 60, 70 miles an hour. Just bam. Actually, it feels more like the ground came up and hit us like a thousand sledgehammers. Every window exploded, and I came to it. I'm covered in broken glass and blood. And it run out through where the front windshield had been, through this jet of oil. And all of us are running out, and all of us are dazed. And I see one man and he's got a puncture wound in his head through which his brains were leaking out and brains I didn't notice are gray colored. And we're all standing there in a daze and I look back at the bus and 15 men have are standing against it, pushing on the roof. And I'm like, what are they thinking? They're going to push it upright? That works with a Volkswagen, not a bus. But they're pushing. And then one man reaches under the bus and pulls out the boy, the one I switched seats with. So I ran back to them and he was still alive then. His eyes were fluttering and his chest was heaving for breath, except it wasn't really like a chest, it was like a jigsaw puzzle and there was blood everywhere. And I stood there with the man and watched him die. So, you know, we think life is so unfair. Why am I deaf? Why can't I have the vacation I want? Why can't I dig a well? Why do I get robbed? Yeah, unfair. Thank you.