Podcast Summary: The Moth – "Kambri Crews: A Blind Ear"

Episode Information:

• Title: A Blind Ear
• Speaker: Kambri Crews
• Release Date: August 13, 2012
• Host: The Moth

Introduction

In this poignant episode of The Moth, storyteller Kambri Crews shares a deeply personal and harrowing account of growing up in a deaf family plagued by domestic violence. Through vivid storytelling, Kambri navigates themes of family dynamics, resilience, and the profound impact of witnessing violence as a child.

Family Background and Early Life

Kambri begins by outlining her unique family structure: she was raised in a household where both of her parents were deaf, as were many of her grandparents and extended family members. This environment naturally led her to become a Coda (Child of Deaf Adults), learning sign language and serving as an interpreter for her family.

Kambri Crews [00:03]: "I grew up in a deaf family. My mom is deaf, my dad is deaf, my mom's parents are deaf. Almost all my aunts and uncles, they were all born deaf."

Kambri recounts her early childhood in the rugged woods of Texas, a life devoid of modern conveniences such as running water or electricity. Her father was a resourceful and industrious man who single-handedly built their living arrangements, including a one-room tin shack and eventually a trailer with essential utilities.

Kambri Crews [03:30]: "To me as a kid, man, this was like, he was like Daniel Boone and Frank Lloyd Wright and Ben Franklin just all rolled into one."

Life Before the Storm

Living in isolation, Kambri and her family were cut off from the typical support systems. Her father’s dedication was both admirable and suffocating, as he prioritized creating a stable environment through sheer determination and labor. However, beneath this façade lay underlying tensions that Kambri was largely unaware of due to the nature of communication within a deaf household.

The Night of Domestic Violence

The narrative takes a dark turn on August 15, 1988. Kambri describes a night that shattered her perception of her family:

Kambri Crews [08:15]: "I saw her laying on the floor and my dad is straddling her and his arm is cocked back, ready to punch."

In the early hours of the morning, Kambri is awakened by sounds that compel her to investigate. She witnesses her father threatening her mother with physical violence. This moment is critical as it exposes the hidden turmoil within her family. Kambri attempts to call 911, advocating for her deaf father by informing the operator of his inability to hear commands, reflecting her protective instincts.

Kambri Crews [07:00]: "One of the false assumptions about deaf people is that they're quiet. No, they have no regulation of sounds."

Despite her efforts, the police are dismissive, viewing the incident as a private family matter rather than an act of domestic abuse. This lack of immediate intervention heightens the sense of helplessness and fear.

Escalation of Violence

As Kambri tries to return to sleep, the situation escalates. Her father, in a fit of rage, destroys their home and confronts Kambri directly. The confrontation becomes extremely violent when he attempts to harm Kambri and her mother again.

Kambri Crews [12:50]: "Slut."

Faced with imminent danger, Kambri's quick thinking and courage become evident. She actively intervenes to protect her mother, ultimately leading to the arrival of the police who apprehend her father. Her split-second decisions during this crisis highlight her resilience and the profound impact of her upbringing.

Aftermath and Reflections

Post-incident, Kambri reflects on the duality of her father's persona. To her, he was a heroic figure—capable and loving—but revelations about his abusive behavior reveal a more complex and troubling reality. This dichotomy forces Kambri to reconcile her cherished memories with the painful truths of her childhood.

Kambri Crews [16:00]: "He had cheated on my mom the day they were married, the whole first year of their marriage. He had been abusing her the whole time too."

Kambri grapples with the loss of her idealized perception of her father, recognizing the multifaceted nature of human relationships and the lasting effects of domestic violence on children.

Conclusion

Kambri Crews' story is a compelling testament to the strength required to overcome a tumultuous upbringing. It sheds light on the unique challenges faced by children of deaf adults, especially in environments where violence is hidden behind silent walls. Her narrative underscores the importance of support systems and awareness in addressing domestic abuse, particularly within marginalized communities.

Kambri Crews [16:50]: "That is the one that I have to choose to remember. That Daniel Boone, that Ben Franklin, that Frank Lloyd Wright all wrapped into one."

Notable Quotes

• Kambri Crews [03:30]: "He was like Daniel Boone and Frank Lloyd Wright and Ben Franklin just all rolled into one."
• Kambri Crews [07:00]: "One of the false assumptions about deaf people is that they're quiet. No, they have no regulation of sounds."
• Kambri Crews [12:50]: "Slut."
• Kambri Crews [16:50]: "That is the one that I have to choose to remember. That Daniel Boone, that Ben Franklin, that Frank Lloyd Wright all wrapped into one."

Key Takeaways

• Complex Family Dynamics: The interplay between Kambri and her parents highlights the intricate relationships within a deaf household, especially under the strain of financial and emotional stress.

• Silent Struggles: Domestic violence within deaf families often remains hidden due to communication barriers, emphasizing the need for targeted support and intervention.

• Resilience and Survival: Kambri's ability to navigate and survive her traumatic experiences is a powerful example of resilience in the face of adversity.

• Awareness and Advocacy: The story underscores the importance of raising awareness about the unique challenges faced by children of deaf adults, particularly regarding communication and accessing help in crises.

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