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- [00:00]
Dan Kennedy
As we approach the end of the year, I'm thinking about the next. Next year is the year I finally make my Spanish better than my 9 year old's. Rosetta Stone is the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app, and it truly immerses you in the language that you want to learn. I can't wait to use Rosetta Stone and finally speak better than my 9 year old who's been learning Spanish in his own way. Rosetta Stone is the trusted expert for 30 years. With millions of users and 25 languages offered. Spanish, French, Ital, Korean. I could go on fast language acquisition. Rosetta Stone immerses you in many ways. There are no English translations, so you can really learn to speak, listen and think in that language. Start the new year off with a resolution you can reach today. The Moth listeners can take advantage of this Rosetta Stones lifetime membership for 50% off, visit rosettastone.com moth that's 50% off. Unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your Life. Redeem your 50% off@Rosetta Stone.com Moth Today.
- [01:10]
Kevin Carlin
Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy. Before we get started, we wanted to share with you a project we're very excited about. The Moth is partnering with the Help, a movie in which a group of women risk everything to tell their stories. In the spirit of the film's bold characters, the HELP Social Action campaign wants you to share your stories. To participate, visit takepart.com thehelp this week we bring you two slam stories. And for those of you who don't know, our story Slams are our open mic storytelling competitions. The first story you're about to hear by Kevin Carlin was recorded live at the Moth Story Slam here in New York City in March, and the theme of the night was Rescue.
- [01:59]
Julia Rossi
South of Buffalo, New York. There is a ravine that's called Zoar Valley, and if you park and hike a mile up the Creek, there's a 20 foot waterfall that you can jump off of. It is amazing and as you can imagine, a lot of people find that jumping off a waterfall is a little too boring and mundane, unless they involve alcohol. And so not surprisingly, each summer there are an unfortunate number of injuries, including the occasional death. And the last time I was there with my friend Justin, we had jumped the falls. We were walking back to the car and around the first bend we came across a drunk college kid who had tried to climb up the ravine and it's just loose shale, so of course he fell and like Hit the back of his head. And by the grace of God, Justin and I were the second people to come across this kid. Had we been the first people to find him, we almost certainly would have just helplessly watched him expire because we don't know what we're doing. But by some miracle, the first guy to find this kid was an army field medic. So he knew exactly what he was doing. So he was in his element. And he had the kid, he had him lying on his back on the rocks with a towel over him. And as we came up, he was telling him like, look, you got a scratch on the back of your head. We got to keep you stabilized, we got to keep you warm. You're going to be fine. We're going to get your help. And so we walk up and the guy's like, we got to keep this kid warm. So we took my towel and we got it under him to insulate him from the rocks beneath him. And then Justin Salloway rolled up, put behind his head. And then the medic takes me aside and he goes, this kid has a gigantic gash on the back of his head. And he goes, I gotta look at it. What I need you to do is I need you to keep him focused and keep him talking, because the instant he closes his eyes, he's going to die. Never did I think that I would be in a crisis situation where the life or death task I would be given would be to make small talk with a drunk college kid. Didn't think it would happen. I was not prepared for that. I am an absolute introvert. Small talk is not my forte. This kid lives. But you should all of you nevertheless, pray that your life never depends on my ability to have a skin deep conversation. There are long odds. And so I dug deep. I made the only kind of small talk I ever knew how to make, which is very awkward. It was to ask him the sort of questions I would ask a girl I was interested in getting to know better. And I haven't even had to do that in a long time because I'm married. So I was. I had to dig deep. It was awkward. I was like, so you in school? Where'd he go to school? And he's like, you be. And I was like, oh, you be. That's great, man. Majoring. What are you studying? And he's like. He's like, history. I'm so cold, man. I'm really cold. And I'm like, all I could think to do was just ignore that. So I was like, oh, history. That's interesting. What do you think you want to do when you graduate? You want to teach? You want to be a teacher? She's like, I'm just really cold, man. She's like, oh, we should get together, have a history study session sometime. And he's literally starting to do the eyes half clown. And I was just, like, in an absolute panic. So it started to deteriorate for me, and I started to just, like, get mad, and I was just. It was like a police interrogation. Just like, I asked you a question, son. Trying anything. And then in the meantime, while this was going on, Justin had been given the task of finding a cell phone Signal and calling 911. And I was more than a little envious of that job. I happen to be very good at that. You need a. You need a cell phone signal in a ravine, I'm your guy. A cell phone signal in a ravine finding fool. In fact, my ego was a little bruised that I wasn't selected for that. But he got ahold of him, and so they dispatched a helicopter to airlift the kid out. And in the meantime, while the helicopter was en route, two park rangers hiked up to us with medical supplies, and they kind of took over, and they told us. This is kind of a side note, but they told us when the helicopter lands, it's going to kick up a lot of debris. So you guys have to huddle in a circle and look down. You can't look at it because you might get hit in the eye. So to summarize, helicopter landing in a ravine, don't look at it. Not happening, because, like, they didn't even come straight down like I thought they would because I didn't know exactly where we were. So by the time we saw the helicopter, they were a few feet above the water, flying up the ravine. I will take a twig in the eye to watch that. That's amazing. It's one of the coolest things I've ever seen in. So the helicopter lands, and they. They load the kid onto it with my towel still under him, and I. I came close to having, like, a George Costanza, Larry David moment. Being like, before you guys take off, if I could just grab that back from you real quick. My wife is never gonna believe how I lost the towel. I swear to God. There was a scare day to save his life. My towel. But I let it go. It's just a towel. But so they took off. They got him out of there, and actually, I followed the story on the local news. He was in critical condition for Almost two weeks. But in the end, he did end up pulling through and he was okay. And my role in the whole thing was far from glamorous. But these days, anytime somebody accuses me of being awkward or antisocial, I just smile to myself because I know that my small talk saves lives. Thanks, Kevin.
- [07:24]
Kevin Carlin
Kevin Carlin is originally from Buffalo, New York, and is now working in New York City as a court stenographer. Kevin has lived all over the country, working as a line cook everywhere from Colorado to Seattle to South Dakota. He currently lives in Queens with his wife, Shannon. The story you just heard won the Story Slam that night. And Kevin went on to compete with a brand new story at the Grand Slam against 9 Other Story Slam champions, including this next storyteller, Julia Rossi. The theme was golden opportunity, and Julia's story won that night. Here's Julia at the Grand Slam.
- [08:03]
D
I always wanted to be a singer, A sexy singer, like Paula Abdul, Samantha Fox, Madonna, rolling on the floor kind of singer. And my first opportunity to perform as a sexy singer was in fourth grade. So sexy. It was pretty, pretty sexy. And actually I was lip syncing, so I wasn't even singing. Wellington elementary School had put on their version of putting on the hits. Do you remember that TV show, putting on the Hits where people lip sync on national television and won prizes for really doing nothing? But. So my school did a version of this, and I did the song Come On Baby, Let the good times Roll from the Stand By Me tape. And I did a costume that was half man, half woman so I could do both sides. And it was you guys. It was amazing. And at the end of my performance, Mr. Samaria, who was Wellington Elementary's gym teacher slash the MC for the evening, said, and I quote, ladies and gentlemen, this is not a contest. But I think we can all agree that if it were, Julia Rossi would be the winner. And then everyone went crazy, you guys. Like, pandemonium extended exploded. I went to this, like, upper white middle class, like school, and it was like Showtime at the Apollo. Like people ringing the bell and, like throwing the chair and just like going bananas. Like, I have been performing for the past 10 years professionally, and to this day, my mom will say that that is the best performance of my career. Like, it was unfucking believable, you guys. So riding on that wave, I decided to then audition for every musical theater production that occurred at my middle school and high school. And I never got into any of them, not even the chorus, because I got really nervous when I actually had to have the words Come out of my mouth and not just meld them off of a tape. And so I asked my parents if I could please take classes at Boston Conservatory. They had a program for high school students where you would learn dance and acting and singing. And in the first day of classes, for the singing part of the course, you went in, you sang a song, and then they gave you a song to work on for the remaining few weeks. And the song they gave me was a song from the King and I called Shall I Tell youl what I Think of you. And if anyone knows that song, you know that it's really just talking over sounds. It goes, shall I tell you what I think of you? You're spoiled. It's like that. I was basically the Fred Schneider of music class. And the rest of the B52s got to sing all they wanted. And I was very upset by this because my parents were paying money for these people to teach me how to sing. And they were telling me to talk over music. So I felt very defeated, disappointed. And then when I got to college, I just sort of gave up singing altogether. There was actual people studying voice, and they were fantastic. And then when I met my boyfriend, I sort of gave up the sexy show offy thing, too. I got into this really comfortable relationship, and so comfortable that eight years later, we ended up getting married. Even though. Well, hold please. Even though there was quite a bit of doubt, a lot of doubt, actually. And a year after the wedding, one of my very dear friends, Heather, said, do you want to come to my beach house for a week down at the Jersey shore? And now this beach house. We had gone to this beach house before when I was 20, the last time that I was single. The last time that I felt really free, really wild, really sexy, really just brave and confident and amazing. And that was the last time that I had spent an extended amount of time at this beach house. So we go a year after I get married, and we're there, and we got there on a Wednesday, so it wasn't even that crowded yet. And we go to this bar, and I don't know if it was the nostalgia of being in this place that had felt so good in the past, and also the, like, 30 beers that I chugged. But I'm sitting at the bar with my friend Heather, my other two friends who've known me my entire life, and I say, excuse me. And there was a cover band, two older gentlemen in their 50s playing, like, in the middle. It was like a round bar, and they were playing in the middle. And there was only probably 30 people in the bar that night. Anyways, these two older guys, and they're playing cover songs. And I say to my friends, I have to go to the bathroom. But what I did is I went up to the COVID band, and I was wasted. And I was like, look, I've always wanted to sing with a band. I just want to sing in front of an audience. Wanna be sexy. Like, I just wanna do it. Like, I don't know if I can sing with. Please. And they, like, didn't even hesitate. They're like, sure. I was like, what? And they were like, yeah, you can sing with us. What do you wanna sing? And so we're going back and forth trying to figure out songs that we both knew and. And the only song that they knew how to play, that I apparently knew the words to was Madonna's Like a Prayer, which is if you like such a good. Like, you feel it in every. And I did not just sing it. I annihilated it, you guys. I was crawling on bars. I was squatting. I was pouring water on my body. I was like, when you call my name louder. Like, I was. Was better than that. But it was like I was doing vibrato shit. I was like. Like, up and down and belting. I don't even know the terms for singing, but it was. If Mr. Samaria was in that bar, he would have said, ladies and gentlemen, I know this is not a contest, but I think we would all agree Julia Rossi is the winner. And the bar would have gone bananas. So after my performance, I sat down with my friends, and I was like, huh, all right. They were like, when did you learn how to sing like that? And I was like, I don't know. And then I started sobbing hysterically, and I screamed, I want a divorce. So thank you. So I went home to my husband, and I knew we had to talk, but we had to first go to an event, a party, which is actually at a karaoke bar. And kind of riding off this high, my Madonna performance, I was like, well, let's see what happens. And so I ended up singing Alicia Keys no. 1, which is really hard. I don't recommend it. And it was okay, but it wasn't great. And I went to go sit down next to my husband, and I was like, what did you think? And he's like, you're not a very good singer. And then the next day, we decided to separate. Thank you.
- [14:39]
Kevin Carlin
Julia Rossi is in New York City based comedian, writer and actress, raised in Boston by two adorable Italian immigrants. She's appeared on VH1, MTV, CNN, and has written for Bust, Playgirl, New York Post, and Huffington Post. She co hosts Stripped Stories and is currently working on her first memoir. Visit her website@juliarozzi.com the moth invites you to see the inspiration behind stories of Standing up in the film the help from DreamWorks Pictures and Participant Media, opening in theaters August 10th. And if you're looking for the latest news from the Moth, including information about our tour shows across the country, visit our recently redesigned website, themoth.org Our podcast.
- [15:26]
Dan Kennedy
Host, Dan Kennedy is the author of.
- [15:28]
D
The book Rock An Office Power Ballad.
- [15:31]
Dan Kennedy
Learn more at Rock on the Book.
- [15:34]
Kevin Carlin
Thanks to all of you for listening and we hope you have a story worthy week. Podcast audio production by Paul Ruest at the Argo Studios in New York Podcast hosting by PRX Public Radio Exchange helping make public radio more public@prx.org.