Podcast Summary: The Moth – "Lee Stringer: Higher Powers"

Episode Information

• Title: Lee Stringer: Higher Powers
• Host/Author: The Moth
• Release Date: May 21, 2012

Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of The Moth, Lee Stringer shares his powerful personal journey from homelessness and addiction to redemption and spiritual awakening. Told live in 2001 during an evening themed "Savage Mood," Stringer's story delves deep into themes of despair, betrayal, and the transformative power of higher belief.

1. Lee Stringer's Struggle with Addiction and Despair

Timestamp: [02:52]

Lee Stringer opens his narrative by painting a vivid picture of his life before recovery. As the former editor of Street News, New York's homeless newspaper, Lee was entrenched in the struggles of the streets, not just professionally but personally.

• Despair and Faith: Lee describes his lifelong battle with despair, fueled by a childhood conviction that “God was going to get me” (02:52). He characterizes God as the "cosmic cop," an omnipotent figure waiting to punish him for flaws, which instilled an oppressive fear that drove him towards addiction.

• Addiction as a Coping Mechanism: Turning to crack cocaine, Lee sought an escape from this relentless sense of impending doom. He shares, “At first crack looked like it solved my problem. I could forget about God... and be in the moment” (07:30).

2. Relationship with Barbara Dunn

Timestamp: [04:20]

Lee recounts meeting Barbara Dunn, an elderly woman battling her own loneliness and addiction to alcohol. Their relationship becomes a pivotal point in his story.

• Barbara's Influence: Living with Barbara offered Lee a semblance of stability amidst his chaotic life. He humorously refers to their high-rise apartment as resembling an "AA meeting," highlighting the mutual support despite their personal struggles (03:00).

• Trust and Betrayal: Barbara trusted Lee with her finances, a decision Lee later exploits. He narrates the critical moment of betrayal: “I have to do a little arithmetic here, because God is watching... I have just paid $20 for two pieces of soap” (15:45).

3. The Turning Point: Theft and Realization

Timestamp: [14:10]

Lee's act of stealing $6,000 from Barbara marks the nadir of his addiction. This moment of moral failure forces him to confront his perceived destiny.

• Moment of Crisis: After six days of escalating theft, Lee experiences a profound realization: “God is going to really get me now. Grand larceny” (18:00). This epiphany becomes the catalyst for his decision to seek help.

4. Journey to Recovery and Embracing a New Higher Power

Timestamp: [16:30]

Determined to break free from addiction, Lee enters recovery through Project Renewal.

• Redefining Higher Power: Recovery programs encourage the establishment of a relationship with a "higher power." Lee reflects on his previous notions of divinity and redefines his higher power as something benevolent: “My higher power, by the way, was benevolent. It would not betray me” (18:50).

• Making Amends: Emphasizing accountability, Lee reaches out to Barbara to make amends. He states, “I want to make amends now... I'll start paying you back” (19:10). This act symbolizes his commitment to change and reconciliation.

5. Barbara Dunn's Redemption and Passing

Timestamp: [18:30]

Lee’s efforts to help Barbara culminate in significant personal growth for both of them.

• Helping Barbara Get Clean: Through consistent support, Lee assists Barbara in entering detox, fulfilling a mutual journey towards sobriety: “And she went in and she stayed” (20:00).

• Barbara's Death: Shortly after Barbara's successful recovery, she passes away in an AA meeting. Instead of succumbing to depression, Lee finds peace in knowing he was instrumental in her final act of redemption: “Now, I can feel a sense of apprehension about the future... even death does not lead me any more to despair” (21:30).

Key Insights and Conclusions

Lee Stringer's story is a profound testament to the human capacity for change and the influence of compassion and accountability in overcoming personal demons. His narrative underscores the importance of:

• Self-Realization: Recognizing one's flaws and the need for change is the first step towards redemption.

• Redefining Belief Systems: Letting go of oppressive beliefs and embracing a benevolent higher power can provide the strength needed for transformation.

• The Power of Making Amends: Reconnecting and making amends with those we've wronged facilitates healing and closure.

Notable Quotes

• On Despair and Faith:
  “God is the cosmic cop. He's the umpire of life... and he put us here.” – Lee Stringer [02:52]

• On Addiction as a Coping Mechanism:
  “At first crack looked like it solved my problem... but being a crackhead is just another job.” – Lee Stringer [07:30]

• On Betrayal and Realization:
  “I thought, what a great idea... I had been a part of that.” – Lee Stringer [18:00 & 21:30]

Conclusion

Lee Stringer's gripping story on The Moth not only illuminates the darkest corners of addiction and despair but also highlights the redemptive power of human connection and spiritual awakening. His journey from betrayal to making amends serves as an inspiring example of resilience and the enduring hope for a better tomorrow.