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- [00:00]
TurboTax
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Apple
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Dan Kennedy
Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm your host Dan Kennedy and this week we're celebrating moms by giving them the stage. We have two stories from Moms getting creative during the trials and tribulations of parenting. I feel like my mom got kind of creative. One time we were going to Albertsons in Southern California to grocery shop and I was probably 7 years old. To this day I still remember my telephone number from when I was 7 years old in Southern California because as we were walking across the parking lot with each step she made it very fun to memorize our number. With each step we took we had to say 714-0466. Sometimes she just got sort of sick of us, but she often got creative. First up, Ally Muldro Ali told this story at a story slam we did in Madison, Wisconsin in 2017. The theme of the night was wonders. Here's Ali.
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Allie Muldrow
I'm a parent. I'm so much a parent. I have a 2 year old and a 7 year old. Right now I have a pair of leggings in my coat pocket that have pee on them. That's how I'm living my life these days. But I think when you're pregnant, When I was pregnant with my first daughter, there's all Kinds of things you wonder about. You wonder what that person's gonna look like and what they're gonna be like. But there's the one thing you're sure of, and that's that you're not gonna parent like your parents. You're like, I'm going to be everything that they were not, and I'm going to do all the things that they were great at, but I'm totally going to be an evolved, like, way cooler parent than them. And it's interesting how that doesn't work out. You know that moment when you just hear, hear your mom or dad or mom and dad just come out of your mouth. Just one of their catchphrases. My parents were really into kind of the rhetorical question, but one that I feel very much shaped me and I'm sure other people in the audience have had this question was like, do you want a reason to cry? Right. I am not a crier. I am pretty sure that that question has permanently made me a person that feels there's really never any good reason to cry. However, when I heard myself start to say that sentence to my three year old, I had to really start thinking about the kind of person I am versus the kind of person who I want my kid to get to be. I started wondering what it would be like if I encouraged her to cry, if I made crying into a good thing, into an okay thing. So she was crying about something really important. You know, the way like two year olds cry, they're just like, why the hell would you put my shoes on right now? You know, how could you have done this to me? And I was like, I'm going to just embrace it. And so I decided that I was like, okay, keep crying. You got to keep crying because your stuffed animals only drink tears. And so I lined up all of her stuffed animals and I was like, you gotta keep it going. You gotta keep it going. Cause like, the frog has not had a drink yet. And she was like, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying to cry. And, you know, and each one would get a drink and then she'd be like laughing and crying. And it was like this really proud moment in parenting where I had, you know, where I had found a space to be comfortable with something that I hadn't been comfortable with that I, you know, wasn't good at in terms of vulnerability, where I'd reconciled a part of myself that I didn't want to pass down. And you don't know if those things stick with your kids. Those little games that you play. And eventually she got too old for it. And she was like, I'm just gonna cry. Don't line up the animals back up off me. I'm just gonna weep over here. But you wonder if what your kid is gonna keep of the things that you teach them. And recently her sister was crying because her sister is now too. And now she cries about when people put her shoes on or a coat on. But she was crying and I was like, dude, we gotta get going. Like, come on. And Adrienne was like, no, keep crying. That's my oldest. That's my seven year old. She was like, cause you're toys. They only drink tears.
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Dan Kennedy
That was Allie Muldrow. Allie is the mom of two young children, as well as an educator, activist and doula. She's also on the board of directors for the Fair Wisconsin Education Fund. And she's the co director of Black Girls are Magic of Madison. To see some photos of Allie and her kids, head to the extras for this episode on our website, themoth.org up next is Michelle Cloud. Michelle told this story at a Milwaukee Story Islam back in 2013. And the theme of the night was Busted. Here's Michelle live at Vermont.
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Michelle Cloud
So last October, my husband Patrick and I were invited to go to Vegas to celebrate his best friend's 40th birthday. And I didn't really want to go, but he really wanted to go. But the problem was we have three kids. The youngest is seven and she's never been away from us overnight. So we thought, we'll take all three kids. We'll do family stuff during the day, we'll leave the kids in the hotel room at night and go out for debauchery and it'll all be good. But the 17 year old Meredith, who is our oldest son, I said, uh, she does a lot of drama. She's a senior in high school. And she said, no, I've got this play competition that weekend. I have to be there. There's no way I can go. So we thought, okay, if we make her go, it'll be miserable. So we decided we'll take the younger two. We'll let Meredith stay home by herself. Yeah, you see, we didn't see. And we will go to Vegas and it'll all be fine. And Meredith was like, oh, I'm responsible, I'm mature, I never do anything wrong. It'll be fine. What are you worried about? So I said, okay, you're right. So we went to Vegas. And I'd never been. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but, you know, the food was better than I had expected. And then we came back, and the house was still standing, and it seemed okay, but things were a little off. Meredith had cleaned part of the basement, the part where she entertains friends, and a path to the refrigerator through the unfinished part of the basement. And I thought, that's odd. And then on Monday, after we came back, I was cleaning in the basement, and I found a cardboard box of trash, and I was emptying it into a trash can, and I found this list. And it said things like magazines, table, rock band, drum set. It was a list of things she had moved so she could remember to move them back, but she didn't move them back. So there was a list of things. And, you know, I'm not a detail person. I never would have noticed these things were moved. But here I have a list of things that were moved, and, oh, look, they're still moved. So I thought, okay. So I called Patrick at work, and I said, honey, Meredith had a party while we were gone, and I want to confront her, but I want to wait till you get home. And I don't know what to say. And he said, why do you want to do that? Don't tip your hand. You'll just make her be more careful next time, you know. He said, the house is still standing. The police weren't called. Don't say anything. So I said, okay, sounds good. I don't really want to bust her. So I didn't say anything. And so then she would say, you thought I was so immature and irresponsible, and I would just bite my tongue. Then on Tuesday, she came home from school and said, mom, I need to talk to you. And I said, why? What's up? And she said, it's not good. And I said, oh, well, what's up? And she said, I got called to the office today, and I got in trouble at school because I was drinking at a party. And I said, oh, where were you at a party where you were drinking here? It's like, really? Yes. While you were gone. So she got in trouble at school. She had to miss one of the competitions of the play, the whole reason she couldn't go to Vegas in the first place. And she got kicked out of the National Honor Society. And she was allowed to appeal that decision. So she appealed that decision, and she wrote a letter, and there was a hearing, and she was allowed to take a character witness. And she asked me to go as her character witness. And after saying, are you really sure. That I am the best character witness at this point in our relationship. I decided, okay, I've already said all the stuff that parents say. So I went with her. And she got. There were five teachers there and we were in this room and she got to say why she thought she should get to stay in the National Honor Society. And then they asked me why, you know, what I had to say. And I kind of realized at that point it's not just her that's busted. I'm busted, too. I'm the mom that went to Vegas and left her 17 year old at home to have a drinking party. You know, who is in trouble here? But what I told these teachers was, you know, yeah, she made a mistake, but she's a good person, she's honorable, she's smart, she's giving, she's generous. She didn't turn in any of the other National Honor Society members who were at the party. And, you know, I think that what's really important when people make mistakes is that they learn from those mistakes and move forward and not that they're just people who never make mistakes to begin with. And I was kind of talking about her, kind of talking about me, but they kicked her out anyway. And in the end, though, I think it was kind of a really good experience for me, not so much for her. I mean, she got kicked out of National Honor Society, but it was kind of nice because I got to say these things. I got to articulate things about being a good and honorable person that, that I might not have articulated otherwise. And particularly in front of my daughter, who is here, by the way, tonight. And, you know, all in all, it was kind of a good bonding experience getting busted with my daughter. So.
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Dan Kennedy
That was Michelle Cloud. Michelle is a mom of three and an organizing manager with Everytown for Gun Safety. She's also told a number of stories on the Moth story slam and grand slam stages. When we followed up with Michelle, she told us her daughter Meredith, now 23, recently spent a weekend back at home watching her younger sister while Michelle was in New York. Michelle did not find any evidence of a party. If you're looking to hear from more rock star moms, you can check out the Moth's third book, Occasional Magic. You can read about a mother of triplets traveling to Antarctica and another who dedicates her life to helping others become parents after adopting her own child. Occasional Magic is out now and it's available wherever you get your books. That's going to do it for this time around, but we'll be back soon with more stories. Until then, from all of us here at the Moth in New York, have a story worthy week.
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TurboTax
Dan Kennedy is the author of Loser Goes First, Rock on and American Spirit. He's also a regular host and storyteller.
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Dan Kennedy
With the Moth Podcast, production by Julia Purcell and Paul Rue West. The Moth Podcast is presented by prx, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public@prx.org.