Apple Representative (0:00)

The Apple Watch Series 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever. It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist whether you're running, swimming or sleeping. And it's the fastest charging Apple Watch, getting you eight hours of charge in just 15 minutes. The Apple Watch Series 10, available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum compared to previous generations. IPhone XS are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary.

Rosetta Stone Representative (0:30)

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Dan Kennedy (1:39)

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy. This podcast is brought to you by Audible.com the Internet's leading provider of audiobooks with more than 100,000 downloadable titles across all types of literature. For the Moth listeners, Audible is offering a free audiobook to give you a chance to try out their service. You may like listening to Love, Dishonor, Marry, Die, Cherish, Perish, a novel written and read by the late David Rakoff. To try Audible Free today and get a free audiobook of your choice, go to audible.comthemoth that's audible.comthemoth so we've got two stories for you this week, and they're both from our Story Slam series, which you know by now is our open mic storytelling competition. And we have Moth Story Slams happening in cities all across the country these days. But the story we're going to hear first today is from Michaela Bly. It was told at a Grand Slam here in New York City last year. The theme of the night was fish out of water.

Michaela Bly (2:53)

A week into the school year teaching third grade, I already know that I'm in over my head. It's my first year at a new school. It's a progressive private school. But I'm an experienced third grade teacher. I know third graders. They're adorable, they're cuddly, they love stuffed animals and so do I. And this class is different. The girls are great. They're actually running a ste stuffed animal hospital. So I can do that. But the boys have a war game, and it's not the kind of war game little boys always play. War. That's clear. They don't have just a war game. They have an army. It has a hierarchy. It has a real enemy. The enemy is the homeschool kids who share the park with us at recess. And when they're not in battle, which we're desperately trying to stop at recess, they're preparing for battle. They're training in school. Seriously. It takes over our year when we line up for lunch. When you line up for lunch and you're in third grade and I'm a third grade teacher, I say we don't push, we don't talk. I have to say, we don't shoot each other point blank in the forehead because that leads with these guys to strangulations and punching and I have to separate them. And then at free time, they tie each other to chairs with construction paper and practice interrogation techniques, which leads to strangling and punching and separation. They draw battle strategies and they use up all my red markers because the sprays of blood are so overwhelming. Now, that's one thing. Free time is one thing. But then it gets to class time. And I say, this is what we're going to do. And the girls go ahead and do it, and the boys say no. They're busy doing tactics, ground tactics, and they don't say no rebelliously. They say it like patronizing, like, why would we do third grade when there's a war? I'm lost in all of this. I am a teddy bear kind of teacher, and I'm not a drill sergeant. I don't know how to stop them from constantly punching each other. And the school's lost, too. It's a lovely school. We believe in cooperative discipline. We think that kids should do what they're interested in. Except in this case, what they're interested in is taking the homeschoolers hostage. The parents try to help. They have the kids play their game on the weekends so that it doesn't disrupt class. But it backfires. They show up on Monday in fatigues and the whole thing starts all over again. Now, this is not a draft. This is conscription. It's not involuntary. And they don't let everyone into the army. There are a couple of boys who aren't in the army. One of these boys is Robert. Robert is younger than everyone else and he has a baby face. And the other kids, the other guys talk about choke points and recon. And he wants to talk about the most useful aspect of the new Apple operating system, which I also kind of want to talk about. It's the space bar where you so. But he wants to be in the army. It's the only game in town. It's really. Most of the guys are doing this. So one day I overhear this conversation where Robert says to Greg, who's one of the generals, can I be in the army today at recess? And Greg says, sure, you can be a suicide bomber. Robert says, why? And Greg says, because everyone wants you to die. I go straight over to Greg and I say, you do not talk like that. And he looks at me and it's like he's looking through me and he turns around and ignores me. I feel like I'm not spending my time with 9 year olds, I'm with mercenaries. And it's getting to me. I mean, when you spend eight hours a day, five days a week in something, you start to feel like it's your reality. I'm crying after school. I start my countdown calendar for the end of the year in March. I just want to be with kids. I understand again. Finally, it's April, it's recess. I'm on patrol. We have to patrol because even if the homeschoolers aren't there, they find hidden pockets in the park where the teachers can't see and just wail on each other. So we have to patrol the perimeter. So I'm doing that. And I get to the sand pit, which is this deep pit you can't really see inside unless you're standing right there. And there's Robert, my apple kid, kneeling in the sand execution style, holding his own hands behind his back with his face in the sand. And three guys, high level military personnel, are starting to bury him head first in the sand. And I snap. I go hot and cold. And I jump in the sand pit and I haul out Robert. He's got sand in his hair, he looks kind of dazed. I mean, he thinks he's playing. And I tell the three guys, go. And I line them up against a fence out of sight of the other teachers. And I got a rage in me that I have not had before. I haven't seen anything like this from nine year olds before. And I say, when you misbehave as third graders, I act like a third grade teacher, I call your parents, I give you time out. But when you do something like what you were about to do, you're being cruel as people. And I don't feel like a teacher. I don't know where this is coming from, but I keep going. I keep and I say, and I don't know what I do when I'm this angry as a teacher and I don't feel like a teacher. And they look at me and I can see that they're really listening for the first time. And I start to get a little into character and I say, if I ever see that again, I don't know what I'll do. I just don't know. There's real fear now. I don't feel like a teacher, I feel like a general. And then I say, and by the way, we never had this conversation. Now I am a general who has gone rogue. And they're looking at me like that, not like a teacher. And so for the first time I can look at them. And they don't look like mercenaries, they look like little boys. I'm playing their game better than they do. And I know that from now on this game is going to change. My game is going to change. You can't be a teddy bear teacher when there is a war on. And so I can stand back and be myself. And I stand back and I say the thing that third grade teachers for time immemorial have said to kids to let them know after they get in trouble that it's okay that we still love them. And I stand back and I'm myself again, except different and dangerous. And I say go play. Thank you.