Nathaniel Eaton: Surviving My Survivor Audition - The Moth

Summary

The Moth Podcast: "Nathaniel Eaton: Surviving My Survivor Audition"

Host: The Moth
Storyteller: Nathaniel Eaton
Recorded: 2004 at The Moth MainStage
Theme: Starstruck stories about the razzle dazzle
Release Date: August 9, 2010

1. Childhood Dreams and Early Obsessions (01:41 - 04:30)

Nathaniel Eaton begins his narrative by reflecting on his childhood and his pursuit of happiness amidst a bustling New York lifestyle. He recounts nights spent camping out in his backyard, under the stars—a simple yet profound source of joy for him.

“When I was a kid, I used to spend the night in my backyard just kind of camped out under the stars. And it was truly a simple moment, but just a very happy moment.”
(01:55)

His fascination with survival and isolation was evident as he strayed from typical childhood play, favoring the construction of elaborate survival shelters over toys like GI Joes and Transformers.

“My other friends were playing with the GI Joes and the Transformers, and I was in my backyard building these very elaborate survival shelters.”
(03:10)

This early obsession laid the foundation for his later ambitions, shifting from a desire to survive on a desert island to a yearning for stardom in the theater world.

2. Transition to Acting and the McDonald's Breakthrough (04:31 - 07:15)

Discovering his passion for acting in high school, Nathaniel delves into the world of theater, envisioning himself as a star. His dedication leads him to New York City post-college, where he juggles various roles, including waiting tables, while striving for his big break.

“It's just like dressing up, doing different accents. It was just nuts. I got very obsessed with it.”
(05:20)

His persistence pays off when his agent secures him a role in a series of McDonald's commercials as the “Chicken Man.” The campaign's success catapults him into public recognition, complete with posters, billboards, and even an action figure in the Happy Meal toys.

“Does this mean I'm a star selling nuggets? But I'll tell you the truth, I didn't.”
(07:05)

Despite the newfound fame, Nathaniel feels conflicted, perceiving his success as superficial compared to traditional measures of acting achievement.

3. The Survivor Audition: Preparation and Ambitions (07:16 - 09:45)

Motivated by a lifelong dream to be on the reality show Survivor, Nathaniel seizes an opportunity when his mother informs him about a casting call for the show. He approaches the extensive application process with the seriousness of a Harvard student, dedicating immense effort to his three-minute audition video.

“I approached it like this Harvard application.”
(08:30)

Collaborating with NYU filmmaker friends, he crafts a film noir-inspired video, complete with tribal drumming, a dumpster setting, and an elaborate finale featuring him rollerblading naked with a spear in Times Square.

“She kind of thinks this is a little bit immature. She's like, why don't you do it naked? [...] So there I am... doing it naked with rollerblades.”
(09:20)

4. The Audition Stunt and Unexpected Consequences (09:46 - 12:00)

The audacious audition stunt unfolds as Nathaniel executes his naked rollerblading performance, successfully throwing the spear but inadvertently attracting trouble. A chaotic chase ensues when three intimidating men mistake him for a threat, forcing him to flee naked through the neighborhood.

“There are these three gigantic guys running full speed at me like gang members, going, 'We are gonna kill you, motherfucker.'”
(11:15)

After narrowly escaping, he returns home amidst a normal Sunday scene, still in his raw state, leading to mixed feelings of exhilaration and fear.

5. Media Frenzy and Howard Stern's Interest (12:01 - 13:30)

The stunt garners unexpected media attention when a neighbor working for the New York Post publishes a sensational front-page story misrepresenting Nathaniel's actions as a violent encounter. The article mistakenly headlines him as someone who "barely survives Bed Stuy," painting a misleading narrative of danger and chaos.

“The New York Post... it was this whole detailed article about how I'm almost murdered wearing female face paint that sort of looked like blackface in a very dangerous neighborhood.”
(13:00)

Simultaneously, Howard Stern takes notice, expressing interest in featuring him on his show to reenact the incident, much to Nathaniel's dismay.

“Howard Stern sort of felt the same. And the New York Post had also published this article that said they are looking for contestants who don't seek media attention...”
(13:25)

6. The Reality of Chasing Stardom and Finding True Happiness (13:31 - 14:09)

As Nathaniel navigates the fallout from his audition antics, he ultimately does not make it onto Survivor. Instead, an invitation arrives for a press trip to Kenya to report on the show, aligning his journey back to his roots.

“As I look around, I could just imagine all those guys... And I could look around. There's... the wilderness, the wild animals all around.”
(14:00)

In Kenya, surrounded by the natural beauty reminiscent of his childhood camping experiences, Nathaniel realizes that true happiness was always within reach, found not in the pursuit of fame but in the simple, authentic moments under the stars.

“And I just asked myself, are you happy now? Have you found happiness? And I had. Thank you.”
(14:08)

Conclusion

Nathaniel Eaton's story is a compelling journey from childhood fantasies to the desperate measures taken in the pursuit of stardom, ultimately discovering that genuine happiness lies in simplicity and self-acceptance. His tale underscores the often tumultuous path of chasing dreams and the valuable lessons learned along the way.

Notable Quotes:

“Did you see the front page of the Post today?... 'wannabe Survivor barely survives Bed Stuy.'”
(13:45)
“Howard Stern... he wants you on the show. I get home that night, and there's like, seven messages from Howard Stern.”
(13:50)
“You're totally getting cast. That night, we're at the local bar and we're celebrating.”
(12:30)

Final Thoughts

Nathaniel's story, as shared on The Moth, illustrates the thin line between ambition and obsession, the impact of media portrayal, and the ultimate realization that fulfillment often comes from within rather than external accolades. It's a testament to the human spirit's resilience and the quest for authentic happiness amidst life's unpredictable twists.

Transcript

Rosetta Stone Advertiser (0:00)

As we approach the end of the year, I'm thinking about the next. Next year is the year I finally make my Spanish better than my 9 year olds. Rosetta Stone is the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app, and it truly immerses you in the language that you want to learn. I can't wait to use Rosetta Stone and finally speak better than my 9 year old who's been learning Spanish in his own way. Rosetta Stone is the trusted expert for 30 years. With millions of users and 25 languages offered spoken Spanish, French, Italian, German, Korean, I could go on fast language acquisition. Rosetta Stone immerses you in many ways. There are no English translations, so you can really learn to speak, listen and think in that language. Start the new year off with a resolution you can reach today. The Moth listeners can take advantage of this Rosetta Stones lifetime membership for 50% off visit rosettastone.com moth that's 50% off. Unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your Life. Redeem your 50% off@RosettaStone.com moth today.

Dan Kennedy (1:08)

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy and the Moth features true stories told live without notes. All stories from the podcast are taken from our ongoing storytelling series in New York, Los Angeles, Detroit and Chicago, and from our tour shows across the country. Visit themoth.org the story you're about to hear by Nathaniel Eaton was recorded live at the Moth MainStage back in 2004, and the theme of that night was starstruck stories about the razzle dazzle.

Nathaniel Eaton (1:41)

I've been thinking a lot recently about happiness and wondering if in my sort of crazy New York lifestyle, if I had found a bit of happiness or a true happiness. And it got me thinking about my childhood. When I was a kid, I used to spend the night in my backyard just kind of camped out under the stars. And it was truly a simple moment, but just a very happy moment. And I did this a lot, camping out in my backyard because I had this obsession with being marooned on a desert island. And I thought about this all the time. You know, my other friends were playing with the GI Joes and the Transformers, and I was in my backyard building these very elaborate survival shelters and sort of collecting rainwater in buckets and like cracking coconuts that my mom bought me from the supermarket. And we would. I mean, I would have sleepovers, my friends would come over, but I never wanted to sleep inside. We'd have to sleep out in the backyard and no tents or anything like, no sleeping bags. We would get in my shelter, and if you put leaves on top of yourself, it keeps all the body heat in. So we would be down there under the stars with the leaves. And who knows if I grew out of this, but I went to high school and I discovered acting, and it's just like dressing up, doing different accents. It was just nuts. I got very obsessed with it. So it's sort of like maybe my dream changed from sleeping under the stars to becoming a star, because I went to college and studied theater, and it was a very intensive bunch of theater folks, and we did all sorts of shows. We'd stay up late at night talking about stardom, and that would be a great thing. If we could do that, then we could act all the time. And then we started to think about, well, how would we know if we were really a star? I mean, is there some sort of, like, checklist or something? Do you have a billboard of you? Are you on the COVID of Premier magazine? And I guess maybe we had been drinking whiskey. But we thought that the true test that you were a star is if they made an action figure of you. Like Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. Those were the big time stars. So we graduated from college, we hit New York City like a storm. And we were doing all sorts of crazy theater and basements and leaky pipes and stuff like that. And I spent a lot of time waiting tables and kind of just waiting for my thing to hit. And then one day my agent calls me and says, hey, you booked that McDonald's commercial that you were auditioning for. I was like, whoa, great. So I went for two days and filmed this set of McDonald's commercials where I was playing this character called the Chicken man, where I drive my chicken truck around the country and say things like, you gotta love the chicken, and, you know, eat the chicken. Love the chicken. And we shot for two days, and they made 10 commercials out of this thing. And they started to play all the time on every single channel. It was like during the super bowl and during the, you know, the football and. And people started to recognize me on the street. They're like, hey, chicken man. I'm like, oh, hey. And people wanted to take photos of me, you know, me and them in a photo, and they wanted my autograph. And it just started. I would go into McDonald's and they had, like, the posters of me and, like, a bus would go by and there's. I'm on the side of the bus. Oh, my God. And then I heard that McDonald's was making for the Happy Meal. They were making the chicken van toy. And I was like, wow. So I go in and get the Happy Meal and. And I see the chicken van and who's driving the chicken van? But there's a little action figure of me and I'm like, I mean, no kidding. I'm like, oh, God, here's an action figure of me and on the bus. Does this mean I'm a star selling nuggets? But I'll tell you the truth, I didn't. I mean, I just sort of felt like I had cheated the system somehow. It's not like I won an Academy Award or, you know, I was in a De Niro movie. I was selling nuggets for McDonald's. So I went back to my theater company and about three months later, my mom called me. She was very, very excited. She's like, nathaniel, have you heard? They are looking for 16 people to maroon on a desert island for this TV show. And whoever stays there the longest is going to win a million bucks. And I'm like, oh, my God, this is my role of a lifetime. I've been preparing my whole life, cracking the coconuts and stuff like that. I'm like, oh, I'm thinking, this is it. This is my ticket. And so I go to cbs.com and I download this extensive long application. It's like 30 pages of questions. But I approach it like this Harvard application. And when I'm done with it, I burn the edges. Sort of like this pirate's map and stuff. But the most important part of this application was this three minute audition video where I had to convince the judges that I was perfect material for Survivor. And I knew this was going to seal the deal. So I got my NYU filmmaker friends and we plotted this amazing film noir, black and white video, three minute video that sort of opens up in darkness and you hear this tribal drumming. And then the picture opens and there's me. I'm drumming on the side of this dumpster wearing this New York suit. And then I climb into the dumpster and I'm eating the pieces of pizza and stuff like that. And then I'm going down the alleyway and I. I've got this machete in my belt and I find a broom and I start carving it into this spear. And then I see there's an old dirty tire and I get the soot and I'm making tribal designs on my face. But we realized there had to be this big ending to this video, like the button that would seal the deal. And get me cast. It had to all be building up to something. And we discovered the answer was that I was doing all this stuff for the Great Hunt of the Wild automobile. And. And so the ending of this video was, I'm going to be in Times Square with my spear, just, like, throwing it at yellow cabs going by. Well, we shot this all in one day in my neighborhood in Bed Stuy. And as it was getting towards the end of the day, when we were getting to the finale scene, and the director goes, oh, let's just shoot it here. We can't make it all the way to Times Square. I'm like, great. And my girlfriend's in the other room kind of laughing. She kind of thinks this is a little bit immature. We're all very intensively planning this. She's like, why don't you do it naked? And I think that's a great idea. She's like, yeah, put rollerblades. Do it naked with rollerblades. I'm like, yes. So there I am. It's like I'm 20 blocks away from my house because we had to find the perfect intersection. I didn't want it to be too crowded, but not too desolate. I've got my rollerblades on, and I'm sort of, like, crouched between these two parked cars. And I take off my clothes, and I've got war paint all over my whole body now I've got my spear. And my friend's setting up the camera on the other side. He's like, oh, this is going to be great and get you cast. And I'm sitting there, I'm waiting for a yellow cab to go by, and then I see the yellow cab going. I get out and I start skating. And I've never skated naked before. The breezes are different. And then I just throw the spear, and like magic, it just sails in this perfect arc and hits the back of the car. And the car just drives off. And I go and I grab the spear. I'm like, yeah. And I turn around, and then a bottle flies by my head and smashes onto the ground. And I turn around to look, and there are these three gigantic guys running full speed at me like gang members, going, we are gonna kill you, motherfucker. And I turn and start skating. My friend, he's got, like, my clothes and his camera, he's just, like, jetting off in one direction. I start skating as fast as I can, like rocks crashing next to me. I'm thinking, I'm going to have to use this spear or something like that. Just kind of going. And I'm, like, going around the corner, around another corner, and finally I lose them. And I'm just trying to catch my breath. I cannot believe what happened. I don't know where my friend is. He just took off. And I realized I have to get home. And I'm 20 blocks away, and I'm naked. And. And this is like Sunday, late afternoon, and it's a nice day. There's people out on their stoops, families, people doing their laundry, hanging out at the bodega. And so I just. You know, I start skating home, and I don't. I have the broom. And so the little fan part, I kind of just hold. Just so kind of skating. And I get back, and my. My friend, he's sitting on the front stoop. He's like, I got it all on tape. It's fantastic. Fantastic. You are totally getting cast. That night, we're at the local bar and we're celebrating. We're telling the story. And my downstairs neighbor, who happens to be an entertainment editor for the Sunday Post, he's there. He hears the whole story. He's like, listen, we're doing a Sunday extravaganza. Funny thing about all the crazy stunts people are doing to get on Survivor, and we'd love to feature you. It'd be hilarious. And so I get interviewed, and I'm telling my whole story. We're laughing on the phone. And then Friday comes, I go to work, and all my co workers are like, nathaniel, are you all right? I mean, we didn't think you were going to come in. Weren't you in the hospital? I'm like, what are you talking about? They're like, did you see the front page of the Post today? I'm like, no. What? And they show me the Post, and on the bottom it says, wannabe Survivor barely survives Bed Stuy. And I turn not to the entertainment section, but the front page news, and it's this whole detailed article about how I'm almost murdered wearing female face paint that sort of looked like blackface in a very dangerous neighborhood. And what was I doing? And then my friend said, and you were all over Howard Stern. He kept talking about how you were the stupidest man in the universe and he wants you on the show. I get home that night, and there's like, seven messages from Howard Stern. He wants to get me on the show the next day, reenact the whole thing, bring in gang members, have me naked with war paint. And he thinks it would be great. I'm like, whoa. What? My friends are like, you gotta do it. This is your ticket. This will make you a star. Howard Stern. But, you know, I guess I just already had my 15 minutes, you know, with the McDonald's thing, and it just didn't. The Howard Stern sort of felt the same. And the New York Post had also published this article that said they are looking for contestants who don't seek media attention, who aren't doing crazy stunts. So I'm just, like, trying to suddenly, like, smash it. I'm just like, I want to be on Survivor so badly. Please, no, Howard Stern. Just let me get on that island. And so I send in the videotape. It's fantastic. And I wait. Like, a week goes by, two weeks, and I'm waiting by the phone for the call. And then the New York Post once again publishes an article that says, of the 50,000 videotapes submitted, the 16 survivors have been selected. And I hadn't gotten the call, and I was feeling just really disappointed. And, you know, I just felt like, you know, if anyone was qualified, I would have loved to be on the show. And so I went back to my theater company, and about four months later, the New York Post calls me once again, and they're like, nathaniel, we're sorry how things went down, but it was a travel section. And they're like, we got this press trip that just came across our desk where they want us to send a reporter to Kenya where they film Survivor. And we thought, hey, why don't we send that guy who wanted to get on Survivor but never got on? And, you know, would you like to go? And I said, sure. That would be great. Next thing I know, I'm in Kenya, standing on this dry riverbed in the exact same place that they filmed Survivor. And I'm looking around, and there's no sets or anything. It's all happened before. But, you know, as I look around, I could just imagine all those guys. I'd seen the show, and I just watched every episode. I loved it so much. And I could look around. There's, you know, it's just the wilderness, the wild animals all around. And I realized I want to sleep right there under the stars like I did when I was a kid. And, you know, I tell the guys this, and they're like, I don't think so. But then I found out that the local tribe had this thing called a Star bed where they. It's this beautiful bed, you know, all white down comforters on this, like, rickety old wagon. And they would wheel sort of like newlywed couples out to wherever they wanted to so they could sleep under the stars. And they said, hey, you could do this. So I said yes. And I got wheeled to the exact place on that riverbed and they had these amazing tribe members with real spears this time, and they created a perimeter around me about 20ft away to protect from the real animals. And I sat there and I slept right there in that beautiful bed under the stars. And I just asked myself, are you happy now? Have you found happiness? And I had. Thank you.