New Pride: Jill McDonough, Owen Lewis, and Bethany Cintron

Summary

Summary of "New Pride: Jill McDonough, Owen Lewis, and Bethany Cintron" - The Moth Podcast

Release Date: June 15, 2018

"The Moth" podcast episode titled "New Pride" celebrates Pride Month by featuring three poignant and empowering stories from storytellers Jill McDonough, Owen Lewis, and Bethany Cintron. Each narrative delves into themes of identity, love, and the journey toward self-acceptance within the LGBTQ+ community. This summary captures the essence of each story, highlighting key discussions, insights, and memorable quotes.

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1. Jill McDonough: A Love Story Born from Chemistry

Timestamp: [02:32]

Jill McDonough opens the episode by sharing her heartfelt story from the first-ever Moth Story Slam in Boston, aptly themed "Chemistry." Her tale revolves around a serendipitous encounter that led to a lifelong partnership.

Key Points:

• Bicycle Theft and Friendship: On May 2, 1999, Jill's bicycle was stolen, plunging her into a day of frustration. Her best friend, Bob Maloney, generously lent her a spare bike, demonstrating the strength of their friendship.

• Encounter with Josie Packard: Bob invites Jill to a rock show featuring "Chelsea on Fire," a lesbian rock band. Despite Jill's heterosexual identity, she finds herself captivated by the band's vibrant energy and, more specifically, by Josie Packard, the lead singer and guitarist.

• Moment of Chemistry: Jill describes the instant connection she felt upon seeing Josie:

  “I just had to hang out with more lesbians. In particular, that one in the middle... I understood a lot more about myself, including the fact that I was going to spend the rest of my life with her.” ([02:50])

• Taking the Leap: Motivated by this newfound understanding, Jill approaches Josie after the show, compliments her performance, and expresses her desire to build a life together. This bold move leads to their marriage on the very date Jill's bicycle was stolen, May 2, 1999.

Notable Quote:

“Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.” ([05:20])

Conclusion: Jill's story is a beautiful testament to the unexpected ways love can manifest and the importance of seizing moments of genuine connection. Her long-lasting marriage with Josie embodies the "chemistry" that was the theme of the night.

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2. Owen Lewis: Embracing Identity and Transition

Timestamp: [07:18]

Owen Lewis shares his deeply personal journey of gender identity and transition, offering insights into the challenges and affirmations he experienced along the way.

Key Points:

• Early Struggles with Identity: As a child, Owen grappled with feelings of envy towards his older brother, not just for physical attributes but also for the social treatment he received. However, he lacked the understanding of what it meant to be transgender during his early years.

• Discovering Community at Simmons College: In 2008, Owen's time at Simmons College in Boston was transformative. Surrounded by supportive and open-minded individuals, he began to explore his gender identity more openly.

• Transitioning and Name Change: Owen discusses the difficulties of choosing a new name, eventually settling on "Owen," which coincidentally was the name his father had intended for him had he been born male. This revelation provided a profound sense of validation:

  “I thought that was pretty cool... it was a pretty validating thing.” ([15:40])

• Support from Family and Society: Owen highlights the shifting dynamics in how society perceives him post-transition. From altered expectations to newfound respect, his journey underscores the complexities of societal norms and personal identity.

Notable Quote:

“People suddenly assumed I had a girlfriend... People assumed I couldn't understand women's problems. I can.” ([10:05])

Conclusion: Owen's narrative is a compelling exploration of self-discovery and the courage it takes to live authentically. His experiences illuminate the broader conversations around gender identity and the societal shifts necessary for true acceptance.

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3. Bethany Cintron: Finding Her Place at Pride

Timestamp: [12:45]

Bethany Cintron recounts her quest to attend the New York Pride Parade, a journey marked by anticipation, adversity, and eventual triumph amidst national tragedy.

Key Points:

• Early Aspirations and Barriers: As a 15-year-old bisexual feminist, Bethany yearned to attend the Pride Parade but faced a series of obstacles—ranging from bad weather to familial obligations—that consistently thwarted her plans.

• Leadership and Determination: By her junior year, Bethany became the president of her school's Gay-Straight Alliance. She spearheaded an initiative for her group to attend the Pride Parade, organizing logistics and rallying participation.

• Impact of the Pulse Nightclub Shooting: On June 12th, while finalizing plans for the parade, Bethany learns of the tragic Pulse nightclub shooting. The fear and uncertainty that followed threatened to cancel their participation:

  “I was like, oh, yeah, we just go together. It's gonna be great... I wasn't going to go.” ([16:30])

• Overcoming Fear: Despite dwindling group numbers and heightened fear of further attacks, Bethany sought solace and support from her mother. Their conversation rekindled her resolve:

  “Jesus, relax. If no one's going to go, I'll go with you... because no one's going to prevent you from loving who you love.” ([17:10])

• Experiencing Pride: On June 25th, Bethany, her mother, and three friends attend the Pride Parade. The vibrant display of diversity and acceptance provides her with a profound sense of belonging and empowerment:

  “I realized that that day we were all proud to look gay.” ([18:00])

Notable Quote:

“Physically looking gay was showing support for what you believe in, showing support for your friends, showing just, like, being there and being confident in your identity.” ([17:45])

Conclusion: Bethany's story encapsulates the essence of Pride—celebration amidst adversity. Her determination to attend the parade, even in the face of tragedy, underscores the resilience and unity of the LGBTQ+ community.

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Final Reflections

This episode of "The Moth" serves as a powerful homage to Pride Month, highlighting individual narratives that collectively underscore the themes of love, identity, and community resilience. Through Jill, Owen, and Bethany's stories, listeners gain intimate insights into the diverse experiences within the LGBTQ+ spectrum, celebrating the strides made and the journeys that continue.

Additional Information:

• Jill McDonough is an MFA creative writing instructor at UMass Boston and the director of the Fine Arts Work Center Online. She is the author of "Habeas Corpus" and "Reaper," with another book titled "Here All Night" forthcoming from Alice James Books. Jill and Josie celebrated their 18th anniversary not long after this podcast release.

• Owen Lewis resides in Cambridge, Massachusetts, working as a building substitute teacher at an elementary school. He engages with students across various grades, fostering discussions on emotions and societal norms. Beyond teaching, Owen is involved in slam poetry, music, and illustration.

• Bethany Cintron is a sophomore at DePaul University aspiring to become a teacher. An active participant in movements like DACA, Black Lives Matter, and LGBTQ+ advocacy, Bethany has attended every Pride Parade since her first, solidifying her role as an enduring activist.

For more stories and to engage with "The Moth," visit themoth.org.

Transcript

[Dan Kennedy]

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[Jill McDonough]

Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy and on this episode we're celebrating Pride Month. We've got three stories on the podcast today and the first one comes from Jill McDonough and she told this at our first ever moth story Slam in Boston. The theme of the night was chemistry. Here's Jill live from Boston.

[Owen Lewis]

So May 2, 1999 I had a bicycle and it got stolen. So it wasn't a good day for me in part because I couldn't afford to get another bicycle. So I did what anyone would do, which is to call Bob Maloney because Bob Maloney was my best friend, and he had a spare bike. So I went over to his house and he hooked me up with a bicycle. And we went for a bike ride. And he made sure it fit me. And I was still sad. And he said, you should come out tonight. There's this great rock show. This band called Chelsea on Fire is playing. They're this wonderful lesbian rock band. And I think you're really going to like them. And at the time, if you had looked at my stats, you would conclude that I was a heterosexual woman who had had a really good time in college. And that would be roughly accurate. So I went to the show because although I was a heterosexual woman who had a good time in college, who doesn't love a lesbian rock band, you knew that was gonna be a good time. So I went and I got there early. And when I walked in, I saw this fantastic, like a little horseshoe table of all really tough looking, wonderful lesbians. And I was like, I should really spend more time with lesbians. They're so. They just have this certain joie de vivre. I don't know what it. I love them. I just. I don't know. I don't know any lesbians in Boston. I need to hang out with more lesbians. In particular that one in the middle. And that was the moment of chemistry that this story is about. Because at the time, although I was a heterosexual woman who had had a really good time in college, at that moment of first seeing that woman, I understood a lot more about myself, including the fact that I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. I just had to convince her of that. And I didn't really know, like, how do you come onto a lesbian? Like, I don't know, like, normal way. So that was my plan to figure out how to come on to the lesbian and find out her name, for example, that would have been a good idea. And then she got up on stage. So now she's the lead singer and lead guitarist of a band called Chelsea on Fire. And I really thrive with, like, this is part of why it's a drag that I had to follow. Nathan. I thrive in an environment of low expectations. So for this person to be the lead singer and guitarist. So I go up to her afterward, and I'm like, I thought you were great. And she's like, great, buy this cd. And I'm like, no, you don't understand. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. So I wrote her a poem, because you know what else are you going to do? And it worked. And she's here. Her name's Josie Packard. If you look at our stats, you will conclude accurately that we've been married roughly since May 2, 1999. And every day I wake up and I decide to believe in God so that I can thank him for Bob Maloney and for lesbians and for rock bands and for Chelsea on Fire and for Josie and for Guitars and for that asshole who stole my bicycle. Thank you very much.

[Jill McDonough]

Jill McDonough teaches at UMass Boston's MFA program in creative writing and directs 24 Pearl street, the fine arts Work Center Online. She's the author of the books Habeas Corpus and Reaper, among others. And she has another book on the way. It's going to be called Here All Night, and that's coming out from Alice James Books. Jill and Josie are still going strong. In fact, they recently celebrated their 18th anniversary. This is very cool. So congratulations to the two of them. And to see a photo of them and to find out more about Jill, you can Visit our site, themoth.org so our second story today on the Moth podcast comes from Owen Lewis, and he shared this at another Boston slam that we did five years after our inaugural slam in 2017. Here's Owen live at the Moth.

[Bethany Cintron]

I don't remember being a little girl who wanted big muscles and. And a beard. But I do remember having this overwhelming jealousy of my older brother. His broad shoulders, his flat stomach, everything. He got to wear his short hair. I was envious. Mostly. I was envious of the way that people treated him. I wasn't crazy about the way people treated me. They treated me like a girl, which was fair because I was a girl. But it wasn't really fair because in our society, women and girls are treated with expectations of fragility and needing to be rescued and weakness. So I wasn't crazy about that part of it. I didn't know what being transgender was when I was a kid, so I just stayed being a girl. I stayed being a niece and a daughter and a sister. I didn't realize there was another way. Then about 2008, I came to Simmons College right here in Boston, Massachusetts, and I met a bunch of really awesome, radical, open minded, supportive people who showed me that there was another way. And I cut off all my hair. I grew it back. Recently, I got a tattoo and I started becoming pretty comfortable in a more androgynous kind of state. And I hung out in that space for a while. I was ever searching for gender neutral, single stall Restrooms, being uncomfortable in men and women's rooms. People would argue about my gender in front of me, whether I was a boy or a girl. That was always really fun. So slowly I started presenting and identifying on the more masculine end of the gender spectrum. And while I stayed the same person, while I started transitioning, people started treating me very differently. People in our society treat men and women very differently, and I can vouch for that. I have seen both sides of the spectrum. People suddenly assumed I had a girlfriend. People suddenly assumed I could fix car and computer problems. I can't. People assumed I couldn't understand women's problems. I can. A lot of things are happening, and it was quite a trip. But of all of the things that they don't tell you about transitioning, they don't tell you that choosing your name is going to be really hard. It's a thing that most people don't have to do. So I stuck with a gender neutral name for a while. Dino, short for dinosaur, of course. And then I thought that maybe I should have a more professional, serious name that people would respect a little bit more. And I seemed to be drawn to own names. And Owen popped into my head one day, and I looked in the mirror and I thought it fit really well. So I thought, owen, okay. So I started telling friends and family that that was the name I was going by. And except for a few slip ups, people got on board. Then one Thanksgiving, I was home in New Hampshire for Thanksgiving. I was with my dad, and we were clearing or we were setting the table. And my dad is a pretty quiet man, and he's been supportive but pretty shy about my whole transition. And kind of nonchalantly, he suddenly goes, hey, did I ever tell you that if you had been born a boy, I was gonna name you Owen? And I was like, no, dad, you failed to mention that really important detail that would make me feel really validated. So I thought that was pretty cool. And, you know, of all of the names that I could have chosen, the fact that I chose my father's the name that he was going to give me from the start without knowing that information was a pretty validating. Pretty validating thing, along with having a real beard instead of a foam beard that I had in the bathtub when I was a kid. Kid. Thank you.

[Jill McDonough]

That was Owen Lewis. And Owen lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts, where he works as a building substitute teacher at an elementary school. He gets to work with every student from preschool through fifth grade. And they talk about feelings and challenging societal norms. They play copious amounts of tag and, of course, study. After school, he teaches a Spanish and also a slam poetry class in his free time. He writes music and he also illustrates. So our last storyteller on the Moth podcast this week is Bethany Cintron. And Bethany told this story as part of our Lincoln center education program here in New York. The theme that night was identity crisis. Here's Bethany live at the Moth.

[E]

I'm a little nervous. I'm be honest. So I was a 15 year old bisexual feminist who was figuring out who she was. I was always open about who I was. So if anybody asked, I was straight up and I told them. But, like, I never really felt like I had this space to sort of be who I was. It was always, like, sort of suppressed and just very, like, minor. And I remember telling people and they always gave me this look, like, well, you don't look gay. And I never really knew what that means. Like, what does it mean to look gay? But I remember finding out about the Pride Parade in New York. For those who don't know what the Pride Parade is, it celebrates the LGBTQ community. And I remember finding out about it and I was so happy. I was like, here's my space. I'm going to go there and I'm going to have so much fun. It looked great. It's one of the biggest Pride parades in the US So it was just. I was so excited to get there and I. So I remember trying to get there, but, like, something coincidental will always happen. Like, it would just start raining and my mom was like, you're not gonna go outside. You're gonna get sick. Or it was my cousin's graduation party and we had to throw him a party. We didn't even get him any cake, which kind of sucks. So I was there for what? And we also, or like, my friends didn't want to go with me, so, like, I would have to go alone. Like, whatever friends they like, ended up not going. So I was like, I didn't want to go alone. I was too nervous. So I ended up not going. And it just didn't seem. Year after year, it didn't seem like I was going to be able to get there. In junior year, I joined the Gay Straight alliance in my school and I ended up becoming president of it. And as president, I proposed that we should go to the Pride Parade together. And it was just like, I was like, oh, yeah, we just go together. It's gonna be great. We're all gonna have fun. Like, it's funded by school Whatever. So everyone's like, yeah, let's go. And we created group chats. We had, like, messages. We had Facebook events. And it just seemed like it was gonna happen. Like, I was ready to. I was ready to go. And it's like, the Pride Parade is in June. So, like, April came up, May came up, and then finally it was June. And all of us were, like, super excited. June 25th was our day. And I remember June 12th, I was sitting in my room, and it was. My dad always used to play the news in the living room. And it would just be playing, and I would be listening. Not really listening, but kind of just in the back of my mind. And I remember hearing, like, a live report in Florida. So I got up and went to listen to it with my dad, and I saw that it was the Pulse nightclub shooting. It was a gay nightclub in Florida, and 49 people were killed in a hate crime. And I just remembered feeling terrible. Like, we're so close to this date, and someone, like, just goes and kills people in cold blood. And I just felt horrible. And I already knew what was going to happen. This was going to be my thing. This thing that was going to prevent me from getting to the Pride Parade. So I went through my. The next few days. I went through my messages and my Facebook events, and people were dropping out. It switched from going to not going. People were like, oh, something came up. Or my mom said, I can't go anymore. Or some just flat out said, I'm not going because I'm afraid it might happen here. What if someone uses that as motivation to attack the biggest Pride Parade in America? And I just. It was. It was. Again, I wasn't going to go. And I felt so disappointed because I knew that I was going to go away for college. I wouldn't be in New York, so I was going to miss this event. And I just. It was just another year of me not going. And I went to my mom because my mom is my best friend. And I told her, like, I was just crying to her. And I was like, mom, I, like, feel terrible. I just really wanted to go. And this is. I'm not going to go. And I'm just so frustrated. Jesus, relax. If no one's going to go, I'll go with you, because no one's going to prevent you from loving who you love. And it was set June 25th. It was me, my mom, and my three close friends, and we were on the train going to the Pride Parade. We watched the colors of the dull colors of just the streets in the city transform into these magical rainbow colors. And there was people boarding, and they had rainbow outfits, crazy outfits, frilly, like, puffy everything, and it was just great. They were making their own way to the Pride Parade. So I was getting more and more excited getting there. And I remember we got to the streets of Manhattan. It was packed. Like, there was. It was, like, impossible. Like, there was bars everywhere. You would have to walk three blocks down just to get to the block that you were, like, right by. And it was like. I remember going from. I had my own, like, rainbow outfit. I had, like, a rainbow star trooper shirt. I had a flag that I wrapped around my neck, like a cape that. That I bought for, like, $15, which I realize now is really expensive for a flag. I had a rainbow bandana. And it was just like, I was so excited. I went from the back of the crowd to the middle of the crowd to the front of the crowd. Next thing I know, like, I'm giving high fives to people in the parade. I'm seeing, like, all these big floats. I'm getting, like, stickers and fans, and it was just, like, great. I was having so much fun, and I just wanted to scream, like, take that, homophobia. And. And I remember taking a whole bunch of pictures on my way back from the Pride Parade. I was on the train and I was looking over at the videos and the pictures, and I saw, like, this whole idea of looking gay. There were so many different kinds of body types, hair types, like, everything skin color. And I just realized that there was no particular way to look gay. Physically looking gay was showing support for what you believe in, showing support for your friends, showing just, like, being there and being confident in your identity. And I realized that that day we were all proud to look gay. Thank you.

[Jill McDonough]

That was Bethany Cintron. Bethany is a sophomore at DePaul University and hopes to pursue a career in teaching. She's an activist and has been part of protests in support of daca, Black Lives Matter, and the LGBTQ community since her first parade. She's been to one every year. If you happen to have a Pride parade nearby, we here at the Moth hope that you're able to make it out and enjoy the festivities. Celebrate, and as always, we hope you have a story worthy week.

[Dan Kennedy]

Dan Kennedy is the author of the.

[E]

Books Loser Goes First.

[Dan Kennedy]

Rock On An American Spirit. He's also a regular host and performer.

[Jill McDonough]

With the Moth Podcast, production by Timothy Lou Lee. The Moff Podcast is presented by prx, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more [e-mail].