Ophira Eisenberg (9:59)
I think I'll tell a quick story. How about that? How about that? All right, here's a story. I told this like a year ago. And this is about how I got busted by my mom and dad with $4,700 cash and a zip up poncho. I mean zip up pullover jacket. And I was in junior in high school, so early 90s, so it's a lot of money for, you know, a 17 year old kid to have his $4,700 cash. So rewind. I got a job that summer at what was called the World Music Theater in Tinley Park, Illinois. Okay. Everybody knows back in the day in the south suburbs, that was a premier outdoor music venue. Okay. So I was in the AV Club, so we got jobs in backstage. But I also had a lot of friends who worked in the concession stand. And after surveying I have, we weren't doing anything but just, you know, taking people drinks and just chilling and making money. So I found that you can get in out of the park if you just had a concession stand hat and a shirt. So the hustler and me got four or five concession stand shirts and hats. And I would get people in concerts that were sold out. So that summer, that was the first Lollapalooza, Depeche Mode, I'm rolling in the fucking dough. Okay? Now this is pre Internet, and this is back when you had to actually sleep out overnight at the Carson Perry Scott parking lot on Friday night to go up and buy tickets to Saturday morning. Okay? That's. You can't. You millennials don't know no shit about that. Okay? That's, that's where fun was had. Millennials, okay? Sleeping out overnight for some tickets. And who knows what seat you'll get. So after like the. I think that was the first show was like that Lollapalooza and then Janet Jackson rolled around. And then my big payday was when the Grateful Dead came to town. And they came to town hardcore. That summer they took over so many subdivision, like the Borg, they just were in parks. They were at the White Hand Pantry, cleaning up at the sink. It was crazy. They were at the Laundromat. Deadheads were everywhere. So the show was sold out, but you were fined pockets of people who want to still go to the show. So I would charge, you know, 4, 450 for a group of five or six to put your money together, put on the shirts, you go in, change into the concession chain shirt, go in the bathroom, change hand to backpack. It was a whole routine, hustle and flow, whatever you want to call it. Okay, so I'll wait, get the money. Unbeknownst to me, somebody put a happy face sticker on my arm. And I'm thinking, oh man, things great, whatever. I'm trying to make this money. Wow, still making money. Come to find out, that was an LSD sticker. Let's say 6:30, roll by. 6:30. I had, I'm. I'm feeling like I realized what had happened because I saw this girl named Amy Keel who was getting carted off to the med tent, like freaking out. She was like this red haired girl, her hair like turned to an afro. Maybe that was lsd, but she had like her shit turned to afro. Her eyes like this. I'm like, oh shit. So I got the sticker off me. I thought I would be okay. But then I know things were going south. When I saw like these dolphins dancing back, I remember that they were like, I like, oh man, that ain't even real shit. So I go on my own self to the med tent. I'm like, hey, I think I got a sticker on me. I'm falling off. You know, I'm not gonna make it in 10 minutes. Who knows what kind of Narnia shit I'm gonna be on in like 10 minutes. So whatever. So they put all my backpack in my. In my. I had this pullover, like little jacket that had like the kangaroo pouch and then that had all the money. So at that point in time, had like almost $4,700 cash that was in this zip up. And I had it in my backpack. So then my mom picks me up. So all they hear is, he's overdosed on lsd. Okay? That's. That's what my mom. And she freaks out. She's like, what? Oh my God, Brian. My dad. That my parents had split up. So that means my dad had to come from Hyde park all the way to the South. It's one of those situations like, oh shit. When daddy comes from the city. Shit. So I woke up the next day and then, you know, well, he had to spend the night. So that's what. Clearly he got there the day before. So I woke up the next day, he had spent the night and we had the meeting. I'm like, ah, what's up? What's up? What's up with this money, Brian? You're doing drugs? Where do you get all this money from? Are you selling drugs? I'm like, ah, no, I'm not selling drugs. No. And my father said, brian, where the fuck you get all that money from? Like this guy is we Huxtable black. I don't know if you know that. Okay? But he flipped into like Good times black. So he flips to it, hey, man, where the fuck you get that money from, Brian? They got real Shaft talk quick. So. So I told him, all right, so, you know, I had to come clean. I'm like, all right, this is what I'm doing. You know, I got this summer job, I found out that you can get into the park. I told him my whole grandiose scheme. So then I look at my father's face. He's like, it turned to a smile. He's like, that's good, Brian. Wow. You thought it's on your own.
