The Moth Podcast Episode: Siddhartha Mukherjee – "The Letting Go"

Release Date: May 27, 2013

In this evocative episode of The Moth, renowned oncologist and Pulitzer Prize-winning author Siddhartha Mukherjee shares a deeply personal narrative titled "The Letting Go." Told live in New York during The Moth’s annual collaboration with the World Science Festival, Mukherjee delves into themes of foresight, resilience, cultural rituals, and the profound experience of death.

1. Introduction to the Story

Host Dan Kennedy sets the stage for Mukherjee's poignant tale, highlighting his background and the context in which the story was told.

2. The Grandmother's Foresight

At 04:17, Mukherjee begins by recounting a significant event from the spring of 1947, shortly before the partition of India into India and Pakistan, and later into Bangladesh and West Bengal. His grandmother, a single mother, made a deliberate decision to relocate her five sons from Borishal in southern Bangladesh to the relative safety of Calcutta.

“But this was literally the most deliberate, the most calculated and the most seminal moment in her history and in the history of our family.” (04:50)

Mukherjee emphasizes the gravity of her decision, not as a mere move but as a strategic escape from impending chaos marked by political upheaval, violence, and societal collapse.

3. Transformation and Austerity

The traumatic experience of anticipating violence profoundly transformed Mukherjee’s grandmother. She adopted a life of extreme discipline and austerity, which became defining aspects of her personality.

“She became incredibly austere. She would clean her floor every day, and she had only four items of clothing...” (09:30)

Her routines were meticulous:

• Limited Clothing: She maintained a strict wardrobe, washing one item of clothing to wear another.
• Dietary Consistency: She consumed the same meal of boiled lentils and rice for both lunch and dinner daily.
• Aversion to Touch: Childhood memories reflect her stern nature, devoid of physical affection.

These changes symbolize her internalization of strength and resilience, traits forged through the anticipation of adversity.

4. The Imminent Death

Fast forward decades later, Mukherjee recounts the moment his grandmother sensed her impending death. At 12:45, she calmly informs her son:

Grandmother: “I think I’m coming to an end.” (12:45)

This declaration signifies not just a physical decline but the culmination of a life shaped by foresight and resilience. Her request for sweets after twenty years of austerity marks a poignant departure from her disciplined routine.

“She ate five of them. And she said she had never had five sweets in the last 20 years.” (14:00)

5. The Passing and Funeral Rituals

Mukherjee vividly describes the process of his grandmother’s passing and the traditional Indian funeral rites that followed. The narrative includes a childhood memory of witnessing an Indian funeral in Banaras, where the raw reality of cremation rituals left a lasting impression.

“We watched, all of us, we watched until all that was left was the little umbilicus.” (16:00)

The detailed depiction underscores the cultural significance and the sacred rituals associated with death, contrasting sharply with modern, sanitized perceptions.

6. Reflections on Death

Drawing from his professional experience as an oncologist, Mukherjee reflects on the dissonance between authentic death rituals and contemporary society’s approach to mortality.

Mukherjee: “We’re actually actively forgetting how to die.” (20:00)

He elaborates on the sensory and emotional aspects of death:

• Air Hunger: Describes the medical phenomenon of struggling to breathe as death approaches.
• Light Fading: References the literary trope of the light going out in someone’s eyes.

Mukherjee laments that society is losing touch with the tangible and emotional realities of death, which once held significant cultural and personal meaning.

7. Conclusion

Siddhartha Mukherjee’s "The Letting Go" serves as a profound exploration of family legacy, cultural rituals, and the personal acceptance of mortality. Through his storytelling, he invites listeners to contemplate the importance of understanding and honoring the rituals and realities of death, emphasizing a collective loss of these intimate practices in the modern age.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Grandmother’s Declaration:

  “I think I’m coming to an end.” – (12:45)

• Reflection on Societal Disconnect:

  “We’re actually actively forgetting how to die.” – (20:00)

• On Her Transformation:

  “She became incredibly austere. She would clean her floor every day, and she had only four items of clothing...” – (09:30)

Key Insights and Themes

• Foresight and Resilience: Mukherjee’s grandmother exemplifies the strength derived from anticipating and preparing for adversity.

• Cultural Rituals of Death: The narrative highlights the significance of traditional funeral rites and the profound connection they foster within families and communities.

• Modern Society's Disconnect with Mortality: There's an exploration of how contemporary life often overlooks the deep emotional and physical experiences associated with death.

• Personal Transformation Through Trauma: The story illustrates how facing potential trauma can lead to significant personal changes, fostering discipline and resilience.

Siddhartha Mukherjee’s storytelling in this episode not only recounts personal and familial history but also serves as a reflective commentary on broader societal shifts regarding death and mourning. His insights urge a re-examination of how we engage with the end of life, advocating for a return to meaningful rituals and a deeper understanding of mortality.