The Moth Podcast: More Mothers

Release Date: May 16, 2025
Host: Jennifer Hickson

Introduction

In the "More Mothers" episode of The Moth, host Jennifer Hickson delves into the multifaceted experiences of motherhood, showcasing three compelling narratives that explore both the joys and challenges of being a mother. This episode builds upon the previous "Mama Bears" installment, continuing to examine different aspects of maternal identity.

1. Melanie Kostriva: Navigating Motherhood and Personal Identity

Story Title: Live at the Malls
Performance Location: New Orleans Story Slam
Timestamp: [02:58 – 09:43]

Summary: Melanie Kostriva, a teacher and librarian from New Orleans, shares her heartfelt story about the transformative journey of motherhood. She begins by recounting the overwhelming experience of bringing her first daughter, Avery, home from the hospital. The constant presence of the ice cream man at 3:00 PM every day becomes a poignant symbol of survival and resilience for Melanie during the sleep-deprived and chaotic early days of raising Avery.

Key Points:

• Sleep Deprivation and Daily Struggles: Melanie describes the exhausting cycle of fragmented sleep due to Avery's irregular sleeping patterns, leading to heightened sensitivity to neighborhood noises and disturbances.
• The Ice Cream Man as a Marker: The daily appearance of the ice cream man serves as a mental checkpoint, allowing Melanie to acknowledge another day endured as a mother. This ritual evolves as Avery grows and includes Melanie’s other daughters, symbolizing strength and continuity within the family.
• Personal Loss and Healing: Melanie candidly discusses her miscarriage and the ensuing grief that threatened her identity as a mother. A serendipitous encounter with the ice cream man at a moment of vulnerability becomes a healing moment, reaffirming her strength and role as "Girl Mom."

Notable Quotes:

• “When I hear the ice cream man, I meant that another day had come by, and I had survived another day as a mom.” [04:33]
• “In that moment, in two words, girl mom. He kind of healed my bruised identity as a mom.” [09:43]

Insights: Melanie’s story highlights the intricate balance between personal identity and maternal responsibilities. The ice cream man symbolizes both the mundane routines and the unexpected sources of comfort that sustain her through difficult times.

2. Marie Dennehy: A Child’s Perspective on Maternal Struggle

Story Title: Live at the Mall
Performance Location: London Story Slam
Timestamp: [10:41 – 14:38]

Summary: Marie Dennehy offers a poignant glimpse into her childhood, illustrating the profound impact of her mother’s mental health struggles. Set against the backdrop of 1993 London, Marie recounts the traumatic event when her mother mistakenly reported her father to the police as an IRA member, driven by postnatal psychosis.

Key Points:

• Mistaken Identity and Trauma: Marie details the harrowing experience of her mother falsely accusing her father of being involved with the IRA, leading to a police raid on their home and long-term surveillance.
• Postnatal Depression and Psychosis: The story sheds light on the severe effects of untreated postnatal depression, emphasizing the importance of timely intervention and support.
• Childhood Resilience and Family Dynamics: Despite the chaos, Marie reflects on her father’s efforts to maintain normalcy and provide for the family, and her mother’s eventual recovery and resilience.

Notable Quotes:

• “When I went mad, she was so casual about it, she probably would have made him a cup of tea.” [13:30]
• “Now I'm a bit older, I feel so proud of her and how resilient she must have been to get through it all.” [14:38]

Insights: Marie’s narrative underscores the enduring impact of parental mental health on children and the resilience required to navigate such turbulent family dynamics. It also highlights societal stigmas around mental health and the crucial role of support systems.

3. Marja Morris: Stepparenting Amidst Personal Challenges

Story Title: Live at the Moth Main Stage
Performance Location: Jackson Hole, Wyoming
Timestamp: [16:59 – 28:19]

Summary: Marja Morris, an urban planner from Chicago, recounts her journey into stepparenting and the unexpected challenges that ensued. At 46, after marrying a widower with three children, Marja grapples with adapting to her new role while dealing with personal setbacks, including job loss during the mortgage crisis.

Key Points:

• Rapid Relationship Development: Marja shares how quickly her relationship with Andy, a widower and devoted father, progressed from dating to marriage within six months.
• Adjusting to Stepmotherhood: She describes the initial struggles of managing household responsibilities, parenting, and financial dependence, which starkly contrasted with her previous independent lifestyle.
• Overwhelm and Emotional Struggles: Marja details moments of frustration and emotional breakdowns, such as when her daughter Hannah refused to eat her homemade soup, leading to a pivotal realization of her limitations.
• Finding Balance and Acceptance: Through perseverance and connection with other parents, Marja discovers her unique strengths, integrates her cultural heritage into the family, and ultimately finds joy and fulfillment in her role as a stepmother.

Notable Quotes:

• “I think it's not the ice cream, it's the whole experience.” [Melanie Kostriva, contextual reference]
• “I'm either, like, the best mom or the worst mom. I was like, how did I not get that?” [Melanie Kostriva, contextual reference]
• “What is my role here? What do I do?” [Marja Morris, 25:00]
• “This stuff is hard. Everybody goes through stuff.” [Marja Morris, 27:00]

Insights: Marja’s story illuminates the complexities of blending families and the emotional labor involved in stepparenting. Her journey from feeling inadequate to embracing her role highlights the transformative power of resilience, community support, and self-discovery.

Conclusion

The "More Mothers" episode of The Moth offers an intimate exploration of motherhood through diverse lenses—biological, psychological, and blended family dynamics. Each storyteller presents a unique narrative that underscores the universal challenges and profound rewards of being a mother. The episode not only celebrates the strength and resilience inherent in maternal roles but also fosters empathy by sharing deeply personal and relatable experiences.

For More Stories and Participation:

• Explore More: Visit themoth.org/extras to view photos related to Melanie Kostriva's story and other supplementary materials.
• Share Your Story: If inspired, consider sharing your own narrative by participating in a Moth Story Slam. Find events and pitch guidelines at themoth.org/events and themoth.org/pitchline.

Happy Mother’s Day from all of us at The Moth.