The Moth Radio Hour: Confidence—Too Much, Too Little?

Release Date: March 20, 2018

Host: Kathryn Burns
Stories Presented by: Aliza Kasmi, Dante Jackson, David Crabb, Sam Shepard, Sara Lee Nkintu

Introduction: Exploring the Spectrum of Confidence

In this compelling episode of The Moth Radio Hour, host Kathryn Burns delves into the nuanced theme of confidence—examining both its excesses and deficiencies. Through a series of personal narratives, listeners are invited to explore moments of self-assurance, vulnerability, and the transformative power of finding one’s voice.

1. Aliza Kasmi: Coloring Her Identity

Timestamp: [02:31]

Aliza Kasmi opens the session with a poignant story from her childhood that grapples with identity and self-confidence. At six years old, during a first-grade art project, Aliza aimed to showcase her newly acquired coloring skills with oil pastels. Confidently, she chose peach to color her face, mirroring her friends. However, her teacher, Ms. Harrington, unexpectedly rejected her choice, insisting that peach wasn’t her color.

“And suddenly I was re-energized. Yes, I was excited again and started my preparations.” ([26:16])

This incident left Aliza feeling confused and isolated, sparking an identity crisis that lingered into her adolescence. As she navigated middle school, Aliza grappled with racial identity and underconfidence until a defining moment on the sixth-grade prom night propelled her towards self-acceptance. Her journey underscores the delicate balance between societal expectations and personal authenticity.

“I'm Brown because I've worked so hard to love the skin that I'm in...” ([07:00])

Aliza's narrative culminates in her embracing her Afghan and Pakistani heritage with pride, illustrating how overcoming underconfidence can lead to a stronger sense of self.

2. Dante Jackson: Breaking Free at Prom

Timestamp: [10:07]

Dante Jackson shares his transformative experience during his eighth-grade prom, a pivotal moment that shifted his perspective on confidence. Initially reserved and apprehensive about dancing, Dante feared judgment and preferred to remain in the shadows. However, prompted by relentless encouragement, he attended prom with his friend Shannon.

“So I try not to make myself look suspicious. So I start doing a little...” ([14:00])

As the night unfolded, Dante found himself reluctantly pulled onto the dance floor. What began as modest two-steps evolved into exhilarating dance moves he never imagined himself capable of. The energy and support from his peers ignited a newfound confidence, turning what he anticipated to be one of the worst nights of his life into one of the most memorable.

“It was like my life up until that point. I was locked in a dark room.” ([14:57])

Dante’s story highlights how stepping out of one’s comfort zone can unlock hidden potentials and foster lasting self-assurance.

3. David Crabb: The Russian Spa Fiasco

Timestamp: [19:25]

David Crabb recounts a harrowing experience while hosting The Moth's debut show at the Sydney Opera House. Tasked with delivering a story on unprepared terms after a fellow storyteller dropped out, David navigates the challenges of underconfidence in an unfamiliar setting.

“I was really nervous about what was coming.” ([23:49])

His tale takes a surreal turn at a Russian spa visit, where a combination of unfamiliarity and overconfidence leads to an unsettling encounter. Amidst chaotic environments and questionable massage techniques, David faces a confrontation that tests his composure and self-assurance.

“Things are going to get worse if we don't leave.” ([29:32])

David’s narrative underscores the thin line between confidence and overconfidence, especially in high-pressure or foreign situations, illustrating how vulnerability can surface even in seemingly controlled environments.

4. Sam Shepard: Overconfidence on Horseback

Timestamp: [30:14]

The legendary actor and playwright Sam Shepard delivers a riveting story from his acting career, highlighting the perils of overconfidence. While filming a chase scene in The Right Stuff, Sam insisted on using his own horse, Roni, believing his rapport with the animal would enhance the authenticity of the performance.

“I thought, I still like to use this horse because I really, you know, I insisted like an idiot.” ([34:53])

Despite assurances from experienced stunt professionals, unforeseen circumstances led Roni to veer off course, resulting in a disastrous accident that left stuntman Choo Choo Chambers injured. The incident not only caused physical harm but also served as a stark lesson in the importance of professional expertise over personal assurance.

“He breaks three ribs, broken collarbone, dislocated his hip...” ([41:00])

Shepard’s story is a testament to how overconfidence, even with good intentions, can lead to unintended and severe consequences, emphasizing the need for humility and reliance on experts in specialized fields.

5. Sara Lee Nkintu: A Mother’s Confidence Liberates Her Daughter

Timestamp: [42:15]

Sara Lee Nkintu narrates a deeply emotional story about cultural expectations, forced marriage, and the empowering confidence of her mother. Growing up in a polygamous family, Sara Lee excelled academically, dreaming of higher education and a different life. However, her father’s plans for her to enter into an arranged marriage shattered these aspirations.

“I knew, being a businesswoman, she looked at me more as a commodity than a daughter.” ([48:00])

In a powerful display of newfound strength, Sara Lee’s mother defied traditional submissive roles to protect her daughter’s right to education. This act of courage not only prevented Sara Lee from an unwanted marriage but also set her on a path toward independence and academic success.

“She gave up what other women in our culture wanted. She gave up her marriage in fight for my education.” ([53:06])

Sara Lee’s story celebrates the transformative impact of a mother’s confidence in challenging societal norms, ultimately altering the course of her daughter’s life for the better.

Conclusion: The Complexities of Confidence

This episode of The Moth Radio Hour masterfully weaves diverse narratives that explore the multifaceted nature of confidence. From overcoming internal struggles and societal pressures to the dangers of unchecked self-assurance, each story offers unique insights into how confidence—or the lack thereof—shapes our identities and life trajectories. Through vulnerability and resilience, the storytellers illuminate the delicate balance required to navigate the fine line between confidence and overconfidence.

Notable Quotes

1. Aliza Kasmi:
   “I'm Brown because I've worked so hard to love the skin that I'm in...” ([07:00])

2. Dante Jackson:
   “It was like my life up until that point. I was locked in a dark room.” ([14:57])

3. David Crabb:
   “Things are going to get worse if we don't leave.” ([29:32])

4. Sam Shepard:
   “He breaks three ribs, broken collarbone, dislocated his hip...” ([41:00])

5. Sara Lee Nkintu:
   “She gave up what other women in our culture wanted. She gave up her marriage in fight for my education.” ([53:06])

About the Storytellers

• Aliza Kasmi is a junior at Stony Brook University studying journalism, aspiring to work with NGOs post-graduation.

• Dante Jackson is a 2020-aged aspiring writer who, after his transformative prom experience, has continued to inspire young storytellers through The Moth's educational programs.

• David Crabb is the author of the memoir Bad Kid and a seasoned instructor in The Moth's high school program, with his second memoir set for release later in the year.

• Sam Shepard, the late actor and Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright, shared riveting backstage stories from his illustrious career until his passing in 2017.

• Sara Lee Nkintu is a gender advocate focused on women’s rights and education, whose mother’s bravery ignited her own path of empowerment and advocacy.

Production Credits

This episode was produced by Kathryn Burns, directed alongside Sarah Austin, Janess, Michaela Bly, and Katherine McCarthy. Additional coaching was provided by Dawn Fraser, David Crabb, and Melissa Brown. Special thanks to the World Science Festival and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for their support. Music featured includes works by Regina Carter, Boombox Sade, and Stellwagen Symphonet. For more information, visit themoth.org.

Note: All timestamps are approximate and correspond to the provided transcript.