The Moth Radio Hour: Doctors, Prom, and Ellen

Released on January 28, 2015

Episode Overview

In this compelling episode of The Moth Radio Hour, host Sarah Austin Janess guides listeners through a series of heartfelt and humorous true stories. Titled "Doctors, Prom, and Ellen," the episode weaves together narratives that explore themes of identity, family, love, and resilience. The featured storytellers include comedian and writer Hasan Minhaj, Kathryn Smaika from Seattle, Mel Dockery, and emergency physician Jeremy Orvik. Each story offers unique insights into personal struggles and triumphs, fostering a deep connection between the storyteller and the audience.

Story 1: Hasan Minhaj – Prom Night Trauma

Timestamp: [05:14] - [19:36]

Hasan Minhaj opens the episode with a poignant tale from his high school days, blending humor with emotional depth. He recounts his deep-seated desire to fit in during his early years as one of the few South Asian students at Davis High in Northern California. Hasan shares a memorable moment from third grade when he boldly declared, "I want to be white," expressing his yearning to blend in with his predominantly white peers (05:14).

The story escalates to Hasan’s senior year, where he grapples with strict family expectations and his burgeoning friendship with Bethany Reed, a new student from Ohio. Despite cultural and familial pressures, Hasan and Bethany develop a close bond, culminating in an unexpected prom invitation. Hasan vividly describes the anxiety and eventual heartbreak when Bethany's parents disapprove of their relationship, leading him to skip prom and face ridicule at school (09:45).

A turning point occurs years later when Hasan's father undergoes a quintuple bypass. In a vulnerable hospital conversation, Hasan shares his unresolved feelings about prom and forgiveness with his father. His father imparts a powerful message about bravery and overcoming fear, urging Hasan to forgive Bethany for the pain he endured (18:10). This heartfelt exchange leads to reconciliation and emphasizes the importance of courage and forgiveness in healing familial relationships.

Notable Quote:

"Hasan, you gotta be brave, man. And your courage to do what's right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt. [19:36]"

Story 2: Kathryn Smaika – Coming Out to Grandma Ellen

Timestamp: [25:05] - [30:44]

Kathryn Smaika shares her poignant journey of coming out as a lesbian to her grandmother, whom she affectionately refers to in relation to Ellen DeGeneres, a figure her grandmother disapproved of due to Ellen's sexuality. Kathryn recounts the long-standing apprehension and the unspoken rules within her family to keep her true self hidden (25:05).

In a moment of courage, Kathryn decides to reveal her lesbian identity to her grandmother during a heartfelt conversation about love and relationships. She narrates the intense fear of rejection but is met with unexpected warmth and acceptance. Her grandmother embraces her with love, immediately becoming an advocate against homophobic remarks and supporting Kathryn's true identity (29:06).

Kathryn highlights the profound impact of her grandmother's acceptance, which not only strengthened their bond but also empowered Kathryn to live authentically. This story underscores the transformative power of acceptance and the significance of family support in one's journey to self-discovery.

Notable Quote:

"You're my granddaughter, and I love you so much. And you should know that there will always be a place at my dinner table for you and whoever you love. [29:07]"

Story 3: Mel Dockery – Becoming an American Citizen

Timestamp: [31:27] - [36:27]

Mel Dockery recounts her lengthy and arduous process of obtaining American citizenship after 33 years in the United States. Initially motivated by financial incentives, Mel's perspective evolves as she navigates the complex requirements of citizenship, including the daunting civics test and personal interviews (31:27).

During her interview, Mel faces challenging questions about American history and values. When asked, "Who discovered America?" she hesitantly responds, "The first people who were here," instead of the expected "Christopher Columbus," reflecting her nuanced understanding of history and contemporary values (35:00). Additionally, when questioned about bearing arms, Mel candidly admits her inability to kill, leading to a nuanced conversation with the interviewer about patriotism and personal beliefs (34:50).

Ultimately, Mel successfully becomes an American citizen and experiences a profound sense of accomplishment and belonging upon seeing Boston Harbor from the Boston Shuttle. This story illustrates the complexities of immigration, the personal growth that accompanies such a journey, and the deep emotional connection to one's adopted country.

Notable Quote:

"I became an American citizen for more than just financial greed. [36:27]"

Story 4: Jeremy Orvik – Emergency Physician and His Mother's Critical Condition

Timestamp: [37:57] - [51:54]

Jeremy Orvik, an emergency physician and surfer from Santa Cruz, delivers a heart-wrenching story about the delicate balance between professional duty and personal emotion. The narrative begins with a vivid memory of a tornado, symbolizing the chaos that often accompanies crises (39:19).

Jeremy's mother, Sue, battles multiple cancers, culminating in a life-threatening complication when a chemotherapy port placement inadvertently collapses her lung. As her condition deteriorates rapidly, Jeremy faces an excruciating decision: allow Sue to pass peacefully in accordance with his promise of a dignified end or intervene to save her life (43:10).

In a moment of despair and professional instinct, Jeremy contemplates ending his mother's suffering himself. However, in a profound and silent exchange, his mother understands his intent and chooses to let life take its course, ultimately saving Jeremy from the burden of his contemplated action (50:05).

This poignant story delves into themes of mortality, familial bonds, and the ethical dilemmas faced by medical professionals. Jeremy reflects on the impact of storytelling in reconciling his relationship with his parents and finding closure in the face of loss.

Notable Quote:

"My mother while dying was saving me. [51:54]"

Conclusion

This episode of The Moth Radio Hour masterfully intertwines stories that highlight the human experience's multifaceted nature. From Hasan Minhaj's journey of forgiveness and bravery to Kathryn Smaika's triumph in coming out, Mel Dockery's immigration saga, and Jeremy Orvik's harrowing medical ethics dilemma, each narrative offers a unique lens on overcoming adversity and embracing one's true self. Through these authentic and relatable stories, the episode encapsulates the essence of shared human experiences, evoking both laughter and tears, and leaving listeners with a profound sense of empathy and understanding.

Additional Stories and Pitches

Beyond the main narratives, the episode also features a touching pitch from Cynthia Riggs about reconnecting with a long-lost friend through cryptic messages, emphasizing the enduring power of heartfelt connections (52:29). These supplementary stories enrich the episode, providing a diverse array of experiences that resonate deeply with audiences.

Closing Remarks

Hosted by Sarah Austin Janess and produced by The Moth in partnership with Atlantic Public Media, this episode stands as a testament to the power of storytelling in bridging gaps, fostering empathy, and celebrating the resilience of the human spirit. Listeners are encouraged to visit themoth.org for more stories and opportunities to share their own experiences.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Hasan Minhaj on bravery and forgiveness:

  "Hasan, you gotta be brave, man. And your courage to do what's right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt." [19:36]

• Kathryn Smaika on her grandmother's acceptance:

  "You're my granddaughter, and I love you so much. And you should know that there will always be a place at my dinner table for you and whoever you love." [29:07]

• Jeremy Orvik reflecting on his mother's final act:

  "My mother while dying was saving me." [51:54]

For More Information: Visit themoth.org to explore additional stories, share your own, or learn more about live events.