The Moth Radio Hour: Doctors, Prom, and Ellen
Release Date: December 11, 2018

Hosted by Sarah Austin Janess

Introduction

In this compelling episode of The Moth Radio Hour, listeners are treated to four poignant and engaging true stories centered around the themes of identity, courage, and human connection. Hosted by Sarah Austin Janess, the episode features narratives from comedian Hasan Minhaj, Katherine Smaika, Mel Dockery, and Jeremy Orvik. Each storyteller shares their unique experiences, offering deep insights into personal struggles and triumphs.

Hasan Minhaj: A Physician's Dilemma When His Mother Is His Patient

Timestamp: [02:11] – [16:33]

Comedian and writer Hasan Minhaj opens the episode with a heartfelt story about his high school prom night, intertwining themes of cultural identity and familial expectations.

Summary:

Hasan recounts his early desire to fit in at Davis High School in Northern California, where he was one of the few brown students. From a young age, he grappled with his cultural identity, expressing a wish "to be white" ([05:45] Hasan Minhaj). His strict immigrant father from India prioritized their American dream, imposing rigid household rules that stifled social interactions, including dating.

The story takes a turn when Hasan develops a friendship with Bethany Reed, a new girl whose family recently moved from Ohio. Their bond strengthens through their shared experience in AP Calculus, leading Hasan to invite her over to study—a significant step given his family's social constraints. Despite his father's disapproval, Hasan and Bethany become prom date contenders, culminating in a school-wide prom assignment orchestrated by their AP Calc teacher, Mr. G ([10:30] Hasan Minhaj).

Facing his father's vehement opposition to attending prom, Hasan decides to sneak out with Bethany, only to have his plans thwarted when Bethany's parents object to their relationship. The fallout leads to social ostracization, leaving Hasan feeling isolated. Years later, after his father undergoes a severe heart attack, Hasan shares this vulnerable story with him. This conversation becomes a turning point, allowing Hasan and his father to reconcile and fostering a deeper mutual understanding ([15:50] Hasan Minhaj).

Notable Quotes:

• "I want this part of my skin to be all of my skin." – Hasan Minhaj ([05:00])
• "Your courage to do what's right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt." – Hasan Minhaj ([14:25])

Follow-Up Conversation:

In a subsequent interview, Hasan reflects on the lasting impact of this experience, emphasizing the importance of storytelling in healing and building relationships. He highlights how sharing his story with The Moth enabled him to forge a closer bond with his father and advocate for empathy and acceptance ([17:05] Hasan Minhaj).

Katherine Smaika: The Nerve of Coming Out to Grandma Ellen

Timestamp: [22:38] – [28:42]

Katherine Smaika shares her nerve-wracking yet triumphant experience of coming out as a lesbian to her grandmother, juxtaposed with her family's preconceived notions about Ellen DeGeneres.

Summary:

Growing up, Katherine navigated the unspoken tension surrounding her sexual orientation, especially in relation to her grandmother's disdain for Ellen DeGeneres being openly gay ([23:03] Katherine Smaika). The household maintained a facade to avoid confronting these prejudices, leading Katherine to hide her identity, even symbolically removing her rainbow bracelet at family gatherings.

Two years after coming out, during a heartfelt conversation about love and relationships, Katherine finds herself vulnerably stating, "I think I already have, Grandma," confessing her lesbian identity ([26:30] Katherine Smaika). Contrary to her fears, her grandmother responds with unexpected warmth and acceptance, reassuring her of unconditional love and support. This pivotal moment transforms their relationship, making her grandmother an advocate against homophobic remarks within the family ([27:05] Katherine Smaika).

Notable Quotes:

• "I think the best way to keep my promise to her was to have this be it. Because there she was, barely conscious, barely breathing, but no longer in pain, no longer afraid." – This line exemplifies the depth of Katherine's emotional journey ([26:50]).
• "You're my granddaughter and I love you so much." – Katherine’s grandmother ([27:30])

Impact:

Katherine’s story underscores the courage required to embrace one's true self and the profound impact of acceptance within family dynamics. Her grandmother's transformation from resistance to support serves as an inspiring testament to the power of love and understanding.

Mel Dockery: Navigating the American Citizenship Journey

Timestamp: [29:25] – [34:26]

Mel Dockery offers an introspective and humorous recount of her journey to becoming an American citizen, highlighting the complexities and personal motivations behind her decision.

Summary:

In 1997, Mel decides to pursue American citizenship, initially motivated by financial incentives. She navigates the arduous process, facing rigorous eligibility checks and the challenging civics test, which, at the time, encompassed over 300 questions ([31:00] Mel Dockery).

During her interview, Mel amusingly fumbles through questions like, "Who is the current American president, Clinton?" and tackles the delicate topic of Christopher Columbus’s legacy. Her candid responses reflect a blend of humor and genuine contemplation about her place in America ([32:15] Mel Dockery).

A pivotal moment occurs when asked if she is willing to bear arms for the United States. Mel humorously and earnestly declines, leading to a surprisingly positive resolution from the interviewer, ultimately granting her citizenship ([33:50] Mel Dockery).

Notable Quotes:

• "I wish I could tell 17-year-old me, it is tough to navigate because a lot of people may smile in your face but hold prejudices against certain types of people." – Hasan Minhaj, reflecting on Mel’s broader narrative ([17:50] Hasan Minhaj).
• "It was the Founding Father that said, it is, thou shalt not tell a lie." – Mel Dockery ([31:45] Mel Dockery)

Reflection:

Mel’s story humorously yet thoughtfully explores the immigrant experience, the quest for identity, and the challenges of integrating into a new culture. Her narrative emphasizes resilience and the nuanced motivations that drive individuals to embrace new national identities.

Jeremy Orvik: An Emergency Physician’s Dilemma for His Ailing Mother

Timestamp: [35:21] – [49:13]

Jeremy Orvik, an emergency physician and surfer, shares an emotionally charged story about a life-threatening medical crisis involving his mother and the profound ethical dilemmas it presented.

Summary:

Jeremy begins by describing his mother's history with cancer, detailing her battle with lung cancer diagnosed six months prior ([35:21] Jeremy Orvik). During a routine chemotherapy session, a medical complication occurs when the placement of a port inadvertently causes his mother's lung to collapse, leading to cardiovascular collapse ([36:42] Jeremy Orvik).

Faced with the imminent death of his mother, Jeremy contemplates euthanasia, believing it to be a way to end her suffering swiftly and with dignity. In a moment of desperation, he offers to end her life, a decision fraught with personal and professional repercussions ([42:50] Jeremy Orvik).

Unexpectedly, his mother chooses to survive, leading to a fragile reconciliation and the realization that her silent acceptance saved him from making a decision he never fully understood ([49:13] Jeremy Orvik).

Notable Quotes:

• "I was in the back porch smiling and thinking about her... And I was just sitting there and I just looked up at Bethany and I was just like, oh, please don't say anything." – Hasan Minhaj, drawing parallels to Jeremy’s experience ([09:00] Hasan Minhaj).
• "You’re my granddaughter and I love you so much." – Jeremy reflects on his mother's final moments and her silent forgiveness ([48:30] Jeremy Orvik).

Emotional Impact:

Jeremy's narrative delves deep into the emotional turmoil of balancing professional knowledge with personal love. It highlights the ethical complexities faced by medical professionals when their roles overlap with family, ultimately portraying a story of love, loss, and the unspoken bonds that define us.

Conclusion

This episode of The Moth Radio Hour masterfully weaves together stories that explore the intersections of personal identity, cultural expectations, and profound human experiences. From Hasan Minhaj’s journey of self-acceptance and familial reconciliation to Jeremy Orvik’s heartbreaking ethical dilemma, each narrative offers listeners a window into the resilience and complexity of the human spirit.

Final Thoughts:

Sarah Austin Janess closes the episode by encouraging listeners to share their own stories, emphasizing the transformative power of storytelling in fostering empathy and understanding across diverse experiences.

Additional Information

For more stories and to hear photos of the storytellers, visit themoth.org. You can also pitch your own story by visiting the website or contacting them via their hotline and social media channels.

This summary captures the essence of the episode while highlighting key moments and quotes to provide a comprehensive overview for those who haven’t listened to the podcast.