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- [00:00]
Groons Representative
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- [02:12]
Dan Kennedy
Welcome to the Moth podcast. I'm Dan Kennedy. This podcast is brought to you by stamps.com you've probably heard the cost of a stamp stamp just went up to 49 cents. But not if you have stamps.com with stamps.com you'll pay less for postage than you would at the post office for first class mail, Priority Priority Express mail packages and more. Stamps.com is easy to use and convenient. Buy and print discounted stamps, shipping labels and more using your own computer and printer. Not only will you save money with Stamps.com you'll save valuable time, too. Stamps.com always keeps the rates up to date, so you'll get the exact postage you need every time right from your desk. Never go to the post office again. Right now there's a special offer for listeners of the Moth Podcast, a no risk trial plus a $110 bonus offer that includes a digital scale and up to $55 free postage. Don't wait. Go to stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and then type in moth. That's stamps.com and then you just enter Moth. The Moth is supported by makers 46, a handcrafted bourbon that begins as fully matured Maker's mark, but then makers 46th is finished longer inside barrels containing seared French oak staves, and only during the cool winter months when bourbon matures more slowly. The result is a more complex taste, highlighted by bigger vanilla oak and caramel flavors. Online at makers46.com, makers46 Bourbon whiskey, 47% alcohol by volume, distilled in Loretto, Kentucky, reminds listeners to drink responsibly. So by now you've figured out that we've done this amazing thing with technology. We've used computers to make radios come into your headphones. Here's another full episode of the Moth Radio Hour right here on the Moth Podcast. I know it's very complicated. Enjoy.
- [04:15]
Kathryn Burns
This is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Kathryn Burns from the Moth and I'll be your host this time. The Moth is about real people telling stories from their lives in front of an audience. The idea is to recreate on stage the intimacy of listening to someone tell a story at a dinner party. Only, as our storytellers are often quick to point out to us, with several hundred or even thousand people around that table, we have three stories this hour. Jim Beam's great grandson recounts growing up in a legendary bourbon family. Adam Gottnik contracts a bad case of liberal guilt while trying to find a place to take a spritz with his son. And our first story, Kathy Russell Rich told this story way back in 2003. The theme that night was blue in the face stories about smoke. Here's Kathy live at the mall.
- [05:11]
Kathy Russell Rich
So until several years ago, I was on this straight ahead trajectory. I was first a magazine editor, then I was magazine writer and I only dated tortured magazine writer guys. And in short, I owned a lot of black and I was beginning to feel like a cliche. So I really felt like I had to shake my life up. And I got sent by the Times over to India, and I fell madly in love with the weirdest thing. And it was. I fell in love with, like, studying Hindi. And so I came back and I started studying, and I think this is. You know what? I just really want to go over there for a year and learn Hindi. And so I set plans in motion, and I thought, now I'm going to throw my life up in there and do this. And I. I wasn't entirely off track because I did get a book contract. Oh. But I was gone. And so about a month before, a couple of my friends decided to take me out, a couple of my girlfriends to say goodbye. And we go down to the East Village, this little restaurant, and we're having a great time. And the guy at the bar, who's a junkie, ODs. But he doesn't really, like, die on the floor. He does that junkie like. Like that. So the waitress says, what do I do? And we said, you have to call the police. And she said, no, he's going to get in trouble. We said, no, no, you really have to call. He could die. So she does, and we're eating, and a troop of the most gorgeous firemen come walking in. So they're not interested in the junkie, you know, they're like, want to just flirt. And, like, I'm actually really shy, but I'm this new person who's going to go off to India, so I'll do anything now. And I'm flirting, and they're going like, oh, ladies, this is like dinner theater for you. And the junkie is just, like, ignored. Well, then the most gorgeous of them, the fire lieutenant, comes over to the table and he says, how's the food, ladies? And to my absolute shock, I find myself going, why don't you join us? And he goes, why don't you go on a date with me? And I go, all right. And I was just like, I couldn't believe this. And they leave, and all the tables, we suddenly realize they're all women out on the town. And they're all going, hey, were you guys flirting with the firemen? We're like, yeah. And they all start going, I like that one. I like this one. And my friend Trish, in from out of town, goes, I like the junkie guy. We said, you can't like the junkie guy. That's like, you're not allowed to do that. He's gotten up and run home. He's totally fine. So lo and behold, the phone rings and it's Fireman Pete. And he asks me out and we make plans and I meet him in this Italian restaurant. And I mean, this guy looks like a Tuscan painting. Blond, Italian, really, really gorgeous. And we meet and we're just come from two different worlds, but we are having so much fun. Like he tells me about his uncle Johnny Bellumza, who's in the mob. I never heard about a mob guy. And then he starts telling me about when he one time carried a dying baby out of a building and he went to hand it to a journalist and the guy wouldn't take it because he was on duty. And he said, later that guy came up and asked for an interview. And I went, yeah, I'll give you one. And I was like, just seeing like journalism from this other side, so. And then he just can't believe I'm going up to India. He said, I've never. You mean like with elephants? And I'm like, yeah. And I'm feeling frisky. So I write his name in Devnagari's script, which I thought was so cool. He was just like, oh. And so at the end of the evening, he says, well, I got to start up by the fire station. And I knew he's like this Italian horn dog. He wants to show he's on a date on Saturday night, but that's fine. We go down, he goes, I'm going to get you a T shirt. And he brings me a T shirt. But then he's really there just to show the fire guys and they're not there. So we had to sit in his car for 40 minutes. And finally this big truck comes roaring up. They all get out, I meet him, there's a sweet little old fire captain chief guy and all of them, and they're so sweet. And then he takes me to my apartment and he goes, I want to come up. And I said, I don't know you that well. And he goes, no, I want to come up. And I said, no, I don't know you that well. So he said, listen, if I can, I live across from Zeckendorf, which has eight towers. He goes, if I can get us to the top of Zeckendorf Towers, will you go up and make out with me? So how are you going to do that? And he said, I have the fire key, so who would say no? So I said, all right. And we sneak by the guard, we go up. The fire key doesn't get us out. So I said, all right, I'm Going home. He goes, no, no, no. If I could stop the elevator, would you make out with me in the elevator? Like, you bet. So we go in, we are making out. We are having such a good time. I've never acted like this in my life. I mean, I've worked at these staid magazines. I am just making out in an elevator at 11:30 on Saturday night. And finally I said, I really have to go. So we go down, and the doors open to a sea of angry people. Cause what Fireman Pete wasn't thinking is there's something called the fire block. And if you lock one elevator with the fire key, you lock all eight elevators. And not only that, we were on elevator cam.
- [11:07]
Kathryn Burns
So.
- [11:11]
Kathy Russell Rich
I'm not kidding.
- [11:13]
Groons Representative
So.
- [11:17]
Kathy Russell Rich
And they're going to arrest us. I'm not kidding. They're so mad, they've gotten the sniffy co op president board out of. Out of bed president guy out of bed. He's carrying a Pekingese who's looking aggrieved. And he goes, I'm calling the cops. So I'm like, what are we get. And so this guy, he's from New York. So what does he do? He bluffs. And every time they say anything, he goes, what do you mean? Like, no matter what anyone said, he goes, what do you mean? And so the fire. The co op president's going, you can't do that. Well, he gets them all fighting. And then all of a sudden, he looks at me and he goes, run. So he grabs my hand and we run through the crowd. And as we get on my doorstep, you can hear the police. They've called the police. They're coming up the sirens. And he goes, now you gotta let me in. And I said. So I go, you're right. You're right. I gotta let you in. So we go up to my apartment, and we could see that there's the police right down below. And they're going, so this guy. And this is like, when I really knew I was no longer myself, he has me open the window and scream out, you won't take me alive. And then he has me add, coppers. You won't take me alive. Coppers. This is all true. I was so far out of my safety zone, and I was having the best time. So we start going out kind of. And all my friends are giving me, like, they're all these, like, magazine people like me, and they're like, you're dating a fireman. And then they say, well, are there sparks? Stuff like that a lot? So I'm Going, yeah, so I'm not really dating a fireman. Because the way that the magazine guys would always go, oh, I'm sorry, I'm on deadline. He would go, I'm sorry, a burning building fell on my head. It was the same thing. It was always like these. He had more burning building injuries than you've ever heard of every night. So we kind of really weren't. We were going up at night, and then I had to go to India. So he said, well, we'll write. I get over to India and it's the fifth day of classes and it's evening, and I go to pick up a friend who's living in the palace for these complicated reasons. And it's another story. And she said, the guy at the front desk says, she wants to talk to you. And she gets on the phone and she says, you better come up here and see what's on television. And I knew you could tell it was really bad. So I go up to her room just as the first tower is going up in smoke. And I'm like, oh, my God. And we sit, we watch all night. Second tower goes down. And then they say, all the firemen were killed who got there. And I'm thinking, oh, man, that guy. The fire station, it was like, right next to the World Trade Center. And I was just. I was so devastated. We all were, but it was just so surreal. And I go in the next day, and we're only speaking Hindi, and I'm like, you know, like, to me, a man of fire is known. And the woman, the teacher, says, I will be your mother, sister, friend. And it really was comforting. So finally, I don't know what to do. And I start emailing all my friends and they all email back and go. We were all wondering that. We were wondering. We're trying to find out. And they'd been calling, they'd been emailing. Nobody could find anything out because, as you remember, it was insane. So finally, my friend Jill's husband, who's 80, says, I'm going to walk over there and I'm finding out. And he did. He walked to the fire station and there was a guy there and he said, Did Lt. Pete Sapienza make it? And the guy goes, who wants to know? A lady. So, yeah, a lady. And he said, yeah. And the guy had gone to Italy that week. He had gone to Italy. I mean, never left the country, you know, and that was the week. So then, like about December, I decided, I'm going to write him. And he writes me back. And it's, you know, he says, yeah, 92 of his friends are killed, including everybody we met, the old guy, everybody was killed. On the plus side, he was getting raffled off on dates and like Staten island, he was on all this tv, like fireman greet America shows. And so then I, you know, the whole year goes by, I get back and now all my magazine friends are going, so you're going to go out with the fireman now? They want that. But now Lieutenant Pete, he was busy before. Now he's a celebrity. He's only dating supermodels and actresses, right? So he will call me back because, you know, if a woman calls, he'll call back. But it was clear I was no longer in his league. You know, he's just not. It wasn't going to happen. And time went by and I started to wear like, I was wearing colors for a while and then I started to wear black again. And now I'm like half and half. And when I tell new friends this story, they can't believe I did that. You know, I slipped back into my old ways and I actually can't believe I did either. And I don't think I would believe it except I have proof.
- [17:04]
Kathryn Burns
That was Kathy Russell Richard at the end of the story when she references having proof. She held up the T shirt that Viram and Pete gave her at the station on their first date. Kathy is the author of the books Dreaming in Hindi and the Red To Hell with Cancer. And back in 1988, Kathy was diagnosed with cancer and given just a short time to live, two years at most. She died in 2012, more than 20 years after that initial diagnosis. I love Kathy dearly and am tempted to say something sentimental about her, but the truth is she'd kill me if I did. She faced her own illness with an inspiring lack of drama and self pity. She wouldn't want us to cry for her, but man, do we all miss her.
- [17:49]
Kathy Russell Rich
So.
- [17:59]
Kathryn Burns
In a moment, we'll hear about what it's like to be raised by a man so critical that he once insisted on bringing his own smoked ham into a restaurant after he found the meat served by the chef wanting.
- [18:11]
Fred Ngo
The Moth is supported by makers 46 handcrafted bourbon aged with seared French oak staves online@makers46.com Makers 46 Bourbon whiskey, 47% alcohol by volume, distilled in Loretto, Kentucky, reminds listeners to drink responsibly. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts and presented by the Public Radio Exchange.
- [18:37]
Dan Kennedy
Prx.Org hey, Valentine's Day is just around the corner, so you probably need a gift to get that special someone. Or if you're like me on so many other years, you need to get something to eat and just not think about Valentine's Day and all the stuff it's loaded with. Emotionally, here's something you can consider Giant freshly dipped strawberries from Sherry's Berries starting at just $19.99. That's over a 40% savings or double the berries for just $10 more. Just use the code moth when you order. They're dipped in white milk or dark chocolate. They have a whole bunch of different toppings you can choose from. It's 40% off from Sherry's Berries. These are amazing. Mouth watering, fresh and juicy. Here's the only way to get this amazing Valentine's Day deal. Giant freshly dipped strawberries starting at $19.99 or double the berries for just $10 more. Visit berries.comb e r r I dashes.com Click on the microphone in the top right corner and type in moth. Go to barrys.com, click on the microphone, type in Moth. Hurry. The offer ends Thursday, February 13th.
- [19:44]
Kathryn Burns
In the spring of 2013, our friends at Maker's Mark invited the heads of many of the great bourbon dynasties to come tell stories about what it's like growing up in the shadows of the ancient distilleries. We were surprised to learn that while the sales teams behind those brands may compete fiercely, the families behind the labels have been friends and in one case, next door neighbors for generations. One of our favorite stories from that night was told by Fred Ngo, Jim Beam's great grandson. Here's Fred live at the Louisville Opera House.
- [20:24]
Adam Gopnik
I was born March 9, 1957, Jim Beam's great grandson. But being Booker no's son became a hell of a lot bigger challenge than being Jim Beam's great grandson. To give you a little idea how my dad was years ago, he was in Chicago on a business trip and they were at a fancy restaurant and he ordered a country ham entree. They brought his lunch. The country ham did not meet his standards. Since Booker was a professional country ham cure, he told the PR guy with him, go out into the trunk of the car and get that ham. I've got bring it in here and I'm going to show this chef what country ham is supposed to taste like. The PR guy says, I don't think they'll let us bring food into this restaurant. That perturbed my father quite a bit and he said, go get the damn ham. The PR man, knowing that my father would throw a fit, went to the car, got the ham, brought it back, put it on the table. Dad summoned the chef, and, hell, he came out there, and he said, now, this is what country ham is supposed to taste like. And he cut a slice and gave it to the chef. Later, he cut more slices and fed it to the patrons in the restaurant. Now, my dad was that critical of a chef he didn't know. You can imagine how critical he was on me, on my life, you know. But it was, you know, my childhood and young adult life was a hell of a ride. You know, Booker was, you know, bigger than life. He was a big influence on me. And we. We had some conflicts. You know, he didn't really appreciate my partying, you know, my attitude and a lot of other things, you know, and our conflicts, they started, you know, back when I was in grade school. In the seventh grade, I was sent to military school. They send all good kids to military school, right? You know, And I spent my six years from the seventh grade to high school. And when I was a senior, my dad said, well, you've done pretty good, you know. Pick any college you want to go to. No problem. We'll take care of it. I said, okay, Pop. I was on scholarship. That sounds good. Well, you know, I'm looking around, you know, guys, school. There's a lot of Playboy magazines. I'm thumbing through Playboy magazine, and it says, top 10 party schools in the country. Ohio State was number one. Western Kentucky University down in Bowling Green was number two. I read the article. I said, damn, I want to go to Western. Well, you know, here it was close to home. I'm from Bardstown. My mother, being the devout Catholic, going to church every morning, she wanted me to go to Notre Dame. Booker wanted me to go to University of Kentucky because he started at UK Never finished. Jim Beam's son T. Jeremiah, and his daughter Mildred went to UK and graduated. So I can remember going down to the payphone. Now, this was back in 1975 before, where everybody had cell phones in their pockets, dropped a quarter in, made the collect call back home. Booker accept the charges. We chatted a little bit, and I declared where I wanted to go to college. And I can remember he said, you want to go where? I said, western Kentucky University. He said, why? You want to go there? Obviously, he knew the reputation of Bowling Green and the partying going on down there, but he went along with it. Later that year, when we took me back, took Me down there to school and dropped me off. You couldn't have a car your first year. So he had to take me down and drop me off. As we're carrying my stuff into the dormitory, they're putting up a placard on the bulletin board. Hundred keg, beer, party. All you can drink, five bucks. He looked at me and said, I guess you'll be there tonight. Yeah, if I can find a ride. He looked at me and said, boy, you ain't gonna make it here. Three semesters later, I flunked out, but I had a plan. I was gonna intercept the letter when they threw me out. So he didn't know about it, and I would ease the news to him. As my luck had it, the night the letter came, or the day the letter came, I was out with some of my friends, drinking a little bit, partying a little bit. That happened to be a day. Dad came home early from work. He got the letter first at dinner, mom sitting there and dad, he comes up with a question. Where are you going to college next semester? You know, Western. No, you're not. As he threw the letter across the table and it slid in front of my plate, my life changed dramatically. Right then. He found me a job at his friend's liquor store there in Bardstown, Toddy's. He gave me six nights a week working, and Booker watched my every move. You know, it was. We still had conflicts, though. He never liked the length of my hair. He never liked the whiskers. You know, we just always. We battled, battled battle, and, you know, that was just one of them things, father and sons. Fathers always want their sons to do better than they did. But, you know, after eight years and a lot of his money, I finally got out of college. You know, my dad, he had one rule for me that he always stated, if you want to come to work at Jim Beam, you've got to finish college. I didn't finish, and you got to. So I'd finished. I was out. I was looking for a job. Booker looked at me, well, we don't have a spot for you. Okay. Well, at that time, we were sponsoring a country music artist, Hank Williams Jr. And I was kind of friends with Hank and the boys, and I'd been to several concerts, and they kind of needed a road manager. Hank had fired him. And I kind of stood in and helped them out. And I remember going home, telling Dad, I said, I think I found me a job. He said, what's that? And I said, well, I'm gonna go work for Hank. He Said, boy, that ain't no life for me or you either. He'd been to a few concerts. He'd seen what the hell goes on at them things. Funny, the next week they had a job for me at Jim Beam. Not a real glamorous job for Jim Beam's great grandson, though. Night shift bottling line supervisor. I think it was a test to see if I'd grown up, if I could hold a job or if I would even show up. Booker was still kind of watching me. We hadn't really gotten together too much, but, you know, they kind of moved me around quite a bit. Whenever a supervisor was out, they'd stick me in. It didn't matter, warehouse, whatever, cutting the grass. Somebody was gone. They needed. They stuck me in there. I did everything, you know, and this went on. But it's the same time, you know, Dad's job changed because, you know, he introduced the Booker's bourbon and the small batch bourbon collection, our ultra premiums. And he had to start traveling around a little bit. Well, actually a lot. He traveled the world and, you know, he did this for a time. It was kind of wearing on him. Booker wasn't real crazy about the lines at the airport. He wasn't a very patient guy. The seats in the airplanes didn't fit him. The hotel rooms, he wasn't real crazy about sleeping in those beds. And the three hour dinners really bummed him out, you know, and that was his life. That's what you do when you're out there on the road promoting. I mean, you do that stuff. And he'd come home from a long trip. He was about 70 years old. He'd been over to Japan, hadn't had a very good trip. We're sitting out on the back patio over there having a little drink, and he, he said, well, man, I hated this trip. I said, what do you mean? He said, well, he put me in his traditional Japanese hotel. I slept on the floor on bamboo mats. Said I wasn't worth a damn. I said, ooh. He said, the flight back, the seat didn't fit. My back hurt, my hip hurt. Get back. Custom lines was forever. And top it off, they lost my damn luggage. So, you know, he was fed up. He said, I'm done with this. I said, what do you mean you're done? You can't quit. He said, I'm not going to quit. I'm going to retire. I said, what? He said, think about it. Pro ballplayers, when they get to the end of their career, hell, they retire. Even racehorses they retire them, too. That's what I'm gonna do. I said, really? He said, it's time for me to step aside and you're gonna start doing this stuff. I said, what, me? You know, I never. I've been. I was working at the distillery down there. I wasn't going on a road. He said, I've talked to them in Chicago. They're gonna give you a shot. So I said, well, okay. He picked it up his glass and he said, you got to make people forget about me and think about you. Hmm. Okay. As he walked in, I'm sure my mouth was hung open because all of a sudden now my ass was gonna be on them planes flying around. And we did it and I started doing it, you know, and dad, his hail started faltering a little bit on him in 2003, and when we. He had a little stay in the hospital and he had to do some dialysis, his kidneys were kind of malfunctioning a little bit. So we had to travel back and forth between Bardstown and down here in Louisville for his dialysis treatment. During that 14 day stay, I came and stayed here in the hospital with him. And on those rides back and forth, we did a lot of talking. It was kind of wild because, you know, we talked about stuff we never talked about. We talked about the bourbon industry, the way he saw it, what I was seeing. We talked about my son Freddie growing up, what he was going to do. We talked about everything. I guess you'd kind of call it bonding, you know, stuff that we never talked about when I was growing up. So it was kind of cool, you know, on one of the rides, he got to tell me how proud he was of me. He'd been checking in with all the guys around the country, and they'd been telling me, oh, Fred does a hell of a job. He might even be better than you. I'm sure he didn't like hearing that stuff. But, you know, I guess the deal was he was proud of what was going on. Well, you know, his kidney functions kind of was faltering a little bit, and he developed gangrene in his toe. But we brought him down here to the doctor down here at Jewish Hospital, and the same doctor had been treating on him. That doctor said, oh, yeah, you got gangrene, mister? No, we're going to have to take that leg off. And dad looked at that doctor and he said, really? He said, well, if I don't let you take his leg off, how long am I going to live? That doctor Said, oh, that's serious. Said, you know, it'll spread, get in your body, maybe a month. He said, really? Okay. He said, well, if I don't let you cut this leg off and I quit doing this dialysis, how long am I going to live? So that's real serious. He said, you know, maybe a week. He said, really? He said, well, Fred, take me on home. He said, I'm gonna go out of this old world, Doc, with everything I come in with. I ain't gonna let you cut this leg off. And as we were going out the door, he said, by the way, you can cancel that damn dialysis, too. I'm done with that. Well, you know, I got kind of quiet. Wow, that's a hell of a call. But we went on, got in the truck, we started driving back home, and dad asked me, he said, what do you think about the decision I made? I said, well, hell, Pop, it's your ride. If you're ready to jump off, that's the way it goes. I mean, you know, it's your call. He said, hey, boy. He said, quality of life means more than quantity of life. I ain't having no fun. What the hell? I said, well, okay, Pop. And I answered the question, yes, sir. And he got on me and said, you don't have to say sir anymore. What the hell? Said, you know, we've been doing this all your life. That's okay. Well, naturally, I said, sir again from military school and growing up with him as a father. I mean, hell, that's what you said. So, you know, we got home and I called up my dad's buddies and let them know the situation. I said, you want to come see your old friend? Here's what the doc said. So a lot of them came by to see him. They go in, come out. They might take a drink. They tell old stories. Some of them come out, tears coming down their face. One of his old buddies come out and say, you know, your old man's the only guy that I know that could have his wake and be at it, too, you know. Booker lived another about another two and a half, three weeks. He passed away in his sleep, peaceful. Everything was good. You know, when we age the bourbon, we lose about 4% a year to evaporation. We call that the angel share. But when dad passed away, I haven't really put a pencil to it yet, but we're probably losing 6 or 8% a year now. You know, I really didn't know it, but, you know, my entire life, my dad was training me for what I'm doing today, but I didn't have a clue. You know, that was just his way of training me. And, you know, I'm known as Jim Beam's great grandson, but I'm proud to be Booker knows, son.
- [35:36]
Kathryn Burns
That was Fred new. To see a picture of Fred and Booker and to get Booker's famous ham recipe, go to themoth.org, you can pitch us your own story by calling our pitch line. We're always looking for great stories, and even if you've never stepped foot on stage, call anyway. If we pick your story, we'll help you get ready.
- [36:13]
Richard Munchkin
Okay? I'm a professional gambler, and I travel all over the world playing blackjack, primarily. In the winter of 2001, I found myself in Russia as their economy was going downhill. And in a particular casino in Moscow, I happened to win about $20,000. And when I took my chips to the cashier's cage, the manager came and said, look, I'm really sorry, but we don't have the money to pay you. So I called a friend who was living in Moscow at the time, and I told him what had happened. And he said, oh, don't worry. He said, that casino is controlled by the Chechen mob. And I said, that's something not to worry about. And he said, well, my connections to the Chechen mob are higher than their connections to the Chechen mob, and I think they'll be able to help you collect the money. So now I was faced with this dilemma. Do I want to try to collect from the Chechen mob? And if I use other mobs to. To do it, do I want to be beholden to them? And this is that story.
- [37:16]
Kathryn Burns
Pitch us your own story@themoth.org or by calling 877-799-MOTH. Again, that's 877799, MOTH. Or you can pitch us the story@themoth.org coming up. While attempting to take a steam bath with his son, Adam Gopnik runs an trouble with the regulars at his local gym.
- [37:42]
Fred Ngo
The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and presented by the Public Radio Exchange.
- [37:50]
Dan Kennedy
Prx.Org hey, Valentine's Day is just around the corner, so you probably need a gift to get that special someone. Or if you're like me on so many other years, you need to get something to eat and just not think about Valentine's Day and all the stuff it's loaded with. Emotionally, here's something you can consider. Giant freshly dipped strawberries from Sherry's Berries starting at just $19.99. That's over a 40% savings. Or double the berries for just $10 more. Just use the code Moth when you order. They're dipped in white milk or dark chocolate. They have a whole bunch of different toppings you can choose from. It's 40% off from Sherry's Berries. These are amazing. Mouth watering. Fresh and juicy. Here's the only way to get this amazing Valentine's Day deal. Giant freshly dipped strawberries starting at $19.99 or double the berries for just $10 more. Visit berries.comb e r r I e s.com Click on the microphone in the top right corner and type in moth. Go to barrys.com Click on the microphone, type in moth. Hurry. The offer ends Thursday, February 13th.
- [38:56]
Kathryn Burns
This is the Moth Radio Hour from PRX. I'm Kathryn Burns. Our last story is from Adam Gottnik. Adam is a frequent Moth storyteller and host and he told his story at our annual gala, which we lovingly refer to as the Mothball. Here's Adam.
- [39:17]
H
My grandfather, my grandfather worked on the docks in Philadelphia. I don't mean he toted bales and lifted barges. He was Jewish. He had a wholesale fish business down by the docks. And I remember from my childhood that he kept wonderful hours. He would get up at 4:30 in the morning to go down to the docks, go down and run his business. And I could hear him get up when the days, the weekends that I stayed with him. And he would work all day and work very, very hard. And then at the end of the day at 5:00, he would go not home directly to dinner, he would go to a Schwitz, he would go and take a steam bath. And on the occasions, the weekends when I would be staying with him, he would take me with him. And it was a wonderful experience because he would go to the Russian steam bath and get wrapped up in a towel and I would get wrapped up with him and we would go into the steam room and there he would sit and groan in the company of other men like him who had powerful muscles buried deep in their body under layers of schmaltz and fat. And they would have wonderful names. My grandfather Al would be there wrapped in his tail, sweating and perspiring with Benny and Mo and Joseph and Sydney. These men who have disappeared, the only Sydneys I know now are eight year old girls. And they would sit and perspire and groan out the days and dignities and travails and then go home to dinner and their wives. And I thought it was the most wonderful environment that I'd ever been in in my life. And at that moment I began to make a distinction that I've carried through life with me. That essentially there are two kinds of Jewish men. There are groaning Jews and then there are whining Jews. And my father belonged to the whining Jew generation. That's very much the, the Woody Allen generation in which everything is in agony and there's always agonized about everything and twisted and warped by liberal guilt about everything and everything in life. Every question about civil rights, about women's rights was agonizing. And you wind your way through it in the same spirit that my grandfather had groaned his way through the steam bath. And my ambition in life essentially was to turn myself from a whining Jew back into, into a groaning Jew with all of the authority and integrity that those men had had in the steam bath on Comex street in Philadelphia. And I've sort of measured out my life in terms of successful steam baths that I've been able to have over the years in Montreal, in Philadelphia, in Paris and in New York. And it's difficult to get a really good steam bath these days. A true Schwitz, where you can groan and remake yourself as a man. So about a year ago, my son Luke approached me. I've told stories about Luke here at the Moth and elsewhere for a long time. He's a wonderful kid, always has been. Interesting mind. Now he's 18, he's about to leave for college, leave home for good. He's got a deep voice and a laconic manner and he's much taller than I am and still a wonderful friend. But he's leaving home, he's going away, he's going away for good. Breaks my heart, but he says to me last year for his birthday, what he really wanted was a membership that we could have a membership and a health club together. Because he loves to work out and make himself appealing to 18 year old girls. And I enjoy working out too. But for me working out is simply a kind of necessary preliminary to taking a steam bath. So we found a gym here in New York down on 14th street that had, when we took the tour, this wonderful large steam bath. I thought, this is great. He can work out, I can pretend to work out and we can take a steam bath together and we'll reinstate this wonderful lineage of perspiration that began with my grandfather and passed on to my father and then to me. And that I will leave my son with this imprint before he goes away for good. Of perspiration and solidarity that we will share. So one Saturday after we join the club, we go down to 14th street together. And we're go down, and Luke actually works out. And he strains and moves the machines around. And I sort of pretend to work out. I do sort of the necessary labor that you have to do in order to have the preliminary sweat that allows you to go to the steam room and get the real sweat. And we do it for about half an hour. And then we go get our towels on. And we go in the direction of the steam room. And I'm immensely pleased because this is something we'll be able to share together always as a memory before he goes to college. And I go towards the steam room. And I open the steam room door. And I feel the familiar, comforting sensation of the damp, moist air. And as my eyes adjust and I look through the mist and the steam, I see on the other side of the steam room, two men having sex. And I do that thing that you do when you have an unexpected vision of looking straight ahead and pretending you've sort of forgotten what you had come for. And the two men who are having sex, one looks directly at me, the other lifts his head up and looks at me. And they look at me in a way that's neither entirely appraising nor entirely disapproving, but essentially kind of broadly curious about my presence. It's not invitational exactly, but nor is it exclusive. And I do a quick calculation. This is not my grandfather's steam room. And I back out because I've got Luke, who's 18. And I, you know, it's a little complicated. So I back out and I say to Luke, you know what? Your mom is expecting us home early today. We should just go take a shower and we'll go Will get home. And as I'm taking the shower, I feel indignant because I'm being deprived of this essentially family transmission. So, like Dharma transmission amongst Japanese Zen people. We have steam transmission in my family. And I'm not being able to give it to Luke. And I get annoyed. And yet, at the same time, I have to ask myself, because I am somebody who's twisted with liberal guilt, like my father, like a whining Jew. I have to ask myself, would I be offended? Was it a gay thing? I said that would be terrible if I was bigoted because it was two men having sex. So I have to do the necessary transposition that all liberals have to do. Which is to say, now what if it had been in another dimension, in another steam room in an alternate universe? If it had been a man and a woman having sex in the steam room, would I have been offended? And if that equation worked out that, yes, I would, then I would have a legitimate right to be offended by being two men having sex. It's like one of those algebra formulas they used to give you in sixth grade, where one side worked out and balanced with the other side, you would solve the equation. And I asked myself, would I have been startled by that? And I said, you know, I really would have been. I really would have been if it had been a man and woman having sex. Ergo, therefore, I have a right, indeed an obligation to complain about this behavior. So I pull myself together and I say, I'm going to go talk to the manager. And I say to, look, look, just, you know, I have got something I got to deal with. I've got to talk to the guy. Would you just go have a donut across the street? Right, young guy? And I go and I pull myself together to try and talk to the manager about this. And I'm in a state of high, slightly whining agitation about this, because this is going to be the first time in history in which you will have simultaneously braided together an indignant complaint and an abject apology, at the same time indignantly complaining about the inappropriate behavior and at the same time objectively apologizing for not being gay myself and complaining at the same time. So I come in and I say, I want you to understand something. I say to this very nice gym manager, I want you to understand something. I am like the least homophobic person on the face of the earth. My son's name is Auden, who's a member here. He's named after the great gay poet, W.H. auden. I am essentially. I'm essentially a homosexual person who's sort of trapped in a heterosexual identity with a wife and children. I am an art critic by vocation. I do all the cooking at our house. I wear an apron when I make dinner every night. And I am in the middle of writing a Broadway musical. And I could sing a couple of the numbers for you if you want to hear them. So you can see that I am not a bigot in any imaginable way. But two men were having sex, and I think it was inappropriate. And I land on that word. I hate that word because it's a word of my generation, my father's generation. We're agonized. We're always Saying something is appropriate or inappropriate. I've always hated that word. But it's the only word that applies, I think, to this situation. And the guy looks at me, says, you're right, that was inappropriate behavior, and we'll deal with it. It's the major problem we have in health clubs in New York. And I say, that would interest my grandfather that people having sex in the steam room. I don't even think it occurred to Benny and Mo and Sydney that this would ever be a problem. But despite my agitation and my feelings of becoming not a groaner, but a whiner, I feel I've not done too badly. And I go across the street, 14th street, and I find Luca in the donut shop. And he said, what were you doing, dad? And I look up at him and say, oh, nothing, just talking to the guy, just talking. And he said, what were you talking about? I can see you were agitated about something. And I said, oh, nothing at all. And he looks down at me and says, was it about the two guys having sex in the steam room? And I realized he saw the whole thing. And I said, uh huh. He said, yeah, that was awkward. That was awkward. And I suddenly am visited by the blessing of this word awkward, which everyone in his generation uses, right? Things are either random or they're awkward. And I knew at that moment what a great blessing this word was. Because my father's generation had to agonize about everything. They were worried about the moral standing of everything, judging the moral standing of everything that happened. And my generation is obsessed with appropriate, inappropriate. We have to. We're concerned ourselves with behavior. Is this the right behavior, the inappropriate behavior, or the appropriate behavior? And his generation is concerned only about grace. Only about grace. Something is either a graceful action or it's an awkward action. They're without bigotry, self consciousness, without even differentiation of any kind. The whole world is a wonderful aquarium of events, not a steam bath, but a dense water world in which you watch everything go by. And some of it is graceful and some of it is awkward. And that's the only appropriate judgment you can pass on it. And I realized that he had far more insight and equanimity about the moment than I could ever possess. He was ready to leave home, and the transmission had taken place without the necessity of steam passing from hand to hand. Two weeks later, I decided to go back by myself. And I went back with some trepidation, but determined to see whatever happened in that steam room as either graceful or awkward and in no other terms, wrapped in my tail. I approach the steam room and I see beside it in giant printed letters of red, a sign. And it says, anyone found using this steam room in an inappropriate manner will be banned from the club for life. And I realized it's my sign. I am responsible for this horrible, forbidding, puritanical prohibition that's gone on. I didn't even need it. The question is, do I go in or not? So I decide to go in. And through the steam, I imagine, because modern liberal guilt is being replaced by postmodern paranoia, that everybody tightly wrapped up in their towel, taking no pleasure in life at that moment is staring at me. That's the guy who made the sign. And even if it was only a fantasy, I decided I couldn't bear it. So I shut my eyes and did the only thing Jewish man can do in that circumstance. I lowered myself down awkwardly on the seat and at last, claiming my inheritance, I groaned. Thank you very much.
- [53:32]
Kathryn Burns
That was Adam Gottnik. Adam has written for the New Yorker since 1986. He's the author of the books Paris to the Moon and the Table Comes Family, France and the Meaning of Food. To see a picture of Adam and his Grandfather, go to themoth.org while you're there, you can share any of the stories you've heard in this hour with your friends and family. You can also listen and share Moth stories through our app, which is now available on iOS and Android. We're also on Facebook and Twitter hemoth. That's it for the Moth Radio Hour. We hope you'll join us next time.
- [54:31]
Richard Munchkin
Your host.
- [54:32]
Fred Ngo
This was the Moth's artistic director, Kathryn Burns. Katherine also directed the stories in the show. The rest of the Moth directorial staff include Sarah Haberman, Sarah Austin Jeunesse, Jennifer Hickson and Meg Bowles. Production support from Jenna Weiss Berman and Brandon Echter with Whitney Jones.
- [54:50]
Dan Kennedy
How many people remember and loved being able to distract your teacher by getting them to tell a story? How many you folks love air conditioning? How about, how about ice? Really cold ice and a cool drink.
- [55:08]
Fred Ngo
Our pitchline excerpt came from Richard Munchkin and you're listening right now to Moth Story Slam host Dan Kennedy.
- [55:15]
Dan Kennedy
Few cheap stadium rock antics to get you loud and in the mood, but I know that you're brainy, so I bring them up to the public radio kind of vibe instead of rock and roll roll for you. How many people here like to have a little bit of that kind of cheese from the yoga food store on 13th street that doesn't contain any cheese at all? How many of you people prefer a whole grain bagel but also respect people who have wheat and gluten allergies.
- [55:47]
Fred Ngo
Most stories are true, as remembered and affirmed by the storytellers. Moth Events are recorded by Argo Studios in New York City supervised by Paul RU West. Our theme music is by the Drift. Other music in this hour from Tin Hat Trio, Nigel Kennedy and John Zorn. The Moth is produced for radio by me, Jay Allison at Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts with help from Vicki Merrick. This hour was produced with funds from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, the the National Endowment for the Arts and the John D. And Catherine T. MacArthur foundation, committed to building a more just, verdant and peaceful world. The Moth Radio Hour is presented by the public radio exchange prx.org how many.
- [56:30]
Dan Kennedy
People here think it's ridiculous that we can make a phone out of a piece of glass that carries 80 million songs, but we can't cure what's killing us yet? Just that person.
- [56:45]
Kathy Russell Rich
One person.
- [56:46]
Dan Kennedy
One person thinks that's a shame.
- [56:48]
Fred Ngo
For more about our podcast, for information on pitching your own story and everything else, go to our website themoth.org.
- [57:01]
Dan Kennedy
Okay, there you go. Another full hour of stories right here on the Moth Podcast. Hope you guys enjoy that episode of the Moth Radio Hour. Also, alert Aspen that a not for profit organization is going to be in town. The Moth main stage is coming to Aspen, Colorado. That show is going to be Thursday, March 13th. For tickets and for a list of all of our upcoming tour stops, visit.
- [57:26]
Kathryn Burns
Themoth.Org Our podcast host, Dan Kennedy is a writer and performer living in New York and author of the new novel American Spirit. Available now.
- [57:36]
Dan Kennedy
Thanks to all of you for listening and we hope you have a story worthy week. Podcast audio production by Paul Ruest at the Argo Studios in New York. The Moth Podcast and the Radio Hour are presented by prx, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public@prx.org.