The Moth Radio Hour: Immigration Nation

Summary

The Moth Radio Hour: Immigration Nation
Released on April 16, 2019
Hosted by The Moth

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Overview

In the "Immigration Nation" episode of The Moth Radio Hour, host Jennifer Hixson delves into the nuanced and personal immigrant experiences that shape lives in America. Through three compelling true stories, listeners gain intimate insights into the challenges, cultural adjustments, and profound connections forged by immigrants from Guatemala, India, and Iran. The episode transcends statistics and headlines, presenting raw and heartfelt narratives that highlight resilience, adaptation, and the enduring quest for belonging.

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1. Nestor Gomez: Navigating Cultural Shock and Language Barriers

Timestamp: [03:00] – [14:03]

Background:
Nestor Gomez shares his journey from Guatemala to the United States at the age of 15, a move driven by the turmoil of civil war. Settling in Chicago, Nestor and his family confront a starkly different environment, grappling with extensive cultural and linguistic differences.

Key Points:

• Initial Culture Shock:
  Nestor describes the overwhelming differences between Guatemala and the U.S. For instance, encountering Lake Michigan for the first time left him and his family in awe, likening it to an ocean rather than a lake.

  "When we went to see the Lake Michigan in Chicago for the first time, we were surprised because it was so huge. It didn't look like a lake, it looked like the ocean." [03:10]

• Language Barriers and Stuttering:
  Previously overcoming a childhood stutter, Nestor finds himself stuttering again upon arrival in the U.S., adding to his sense of alienation.

  "I'm going to be a bilingual stutterer." [04:20]

• Education and Family Roles:
  The shift from summer to winter schooling schedules disrupts Nestor's routine. As the eldest, he becomes the family's translator, a role fraught with pressure and limitations due to his limited English proficiency.

• Coping Mechanisms and Family Bonding:
  To improve their English, Nestor and his brother cease watching Spanish-language TV, opting instead to study English shows and practice speaking. This collective effort strengthens their familial bonds but also highlights their struggle to assimilate.

  "From now on, when we come back from school, we're going to watch TV in English only." [11:45]

• Emotional Turmoil:
  A failed attempt to help his brother with an oral test leads to ridicule and frustration, deepening Nestor's resolve to adapt but also exposing his vulnerabilities.

  "We felt like we didn't belong. In fact, the only place that we felt like we belonged was at home at our tiny apartment." [07:30]

Conclusion:
Nestor's story underscores the complexities of immigrant life, where the pursuit of better opportunities intertwines with the pain of leaving one's cultural roots. His determination to help his brother and improve their English exemplifies the resilience many immigrants embody.

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2. Anaga Mahajan: Confronting the Healthcare System Amidst Fear and Isolation

Timestamp: [15:06] – [21:29]

Background:
Anaga Mahajan recounts a harrowing bike accident in the United States, highlighting the intersection of healthcare accessibility and immigrant fears. Her narrative sheds light on the broader implications of immigration status on personal well-being and trust in vital institutions.

Key Points:

• The Accident:
  Anaga describes her bicycle crash caused by a distraction from the "Baby Shark" song, resulting in severe dental injuries.

  "I could hear my tooth enamel breaking and there was a buzz in my head." [16:10]

• Seeking Help Amidst Fear:
  Despite her injuries, Anaga and her husband hesitate to seek immediate medical assistance, fearing interactions might jeopardize their immigration status.

  "This is not our home country? Or is it our home?" [19:45]

• Encounter with Healthcare Professionals:
  Anaga expresses disappointment with the lack of empathy and professionalism from some hospital staff, contrasting it with the kindness of a helpful stranger.

  "None of my colleagues ever brings it up. And in the end, that's the best that we can do." [20:21]

• Emotional and Physical Struggles:
  The prolonged wait for treatment and inadequate care amplify feelings of helplessness and alienation, despite the initial assistance from a compassionate passerby.

  "That towel had given me the strength and his kindness had given me the strength to endure all the pain." [20:21]

• Reflection on Home and Belonging:
  Anaga grapples with her identity and sense of belonging, questioning whether the U.S. has truly become home despite years of residency.

  "This moment in that tiny apartment, we just needed to be a family." [13:30]

Conclusion:
Anaga's experience underscores the precarious balance immigrants maintain between seeking essential services and fearing repercussions related to their immigration status. Her story highlights the critical need for empathy and understanding within healthcare systems serving immigrant populations.

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3. Zeeshan Naimedin: The Silent Struggles of Fear in Healthcare

Timestamp: [25:32] – [30:58]

Background:
Zeeshan Naimedin, a lung and intensive care physician, shares a poignant encounter with a young Mexican American patient whose fear of deportation led to a delayed cancer diagnosis and ultimately, his untimely death.

Key Points:

• Patient's Fear and Delay in Seeking Help:
  The patient, though a U.S. citizen born to undocumented parents, avoided seeking medical attention fearing deportation repercussions.

  "What made you wait? ... if you go to a hospital, if you go anywhere where the system is, you may get deported." [26:10]

• Tragic Outcome:
  Despite being a talented sous chef, the patient's fear resulted in a testicular cancer diagnosis too late for effective treatment, culminating in his death six months later.

  "Cancer can be beaten... But this guy was just so scared for his parents that he waited." [28:45]

• Healthcare Professionals' Commitment:
  Zeeshan emphasizes that medical staff remain dedicated to patient care irrespective of immigration status, striving to provide quality care without discrimination.

  "I've never met a single physician, nurse, social worker who gives a fuck what your immigration status is." [29:30]

• Systemic Issues and Personal Reflections:
  The story prompts reflections on systemic barriers and the pervasive fear among immigrants, suggesting that misinformation exacerbates these challenges.

  "How many other people like that are there who just don't want to go see a doctor or don't want to see a lawyer or whatever because they're so scared." [29:15]

Conclusion:
Zeeshan's narrative highlights the deadly consequences of fear and misinformation surrounding immigration and healthcare. It serves as a call to address the systemic issues that deter immigrants from seeking necessary medical care, ultimately saving lives.

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4. Zahra Norbash: Bridging Two Worlds and the Heartache of Separation

Timestamp: [32:20] – [46:10]

Background:
Zahra Norbash, a comedian based in California, narrates her childhood experiences of immigrating from Iran, intertwining humor with the profound sense of displacement and longing for her homeland.

Key Points:

• Early Childhood in America:
  Zahra reminisces about her early days in the U.S., juxtaposing the memories of her Iranian family's nightly phone calls with her lack of direct connection to her extended family abroad.

  "I grew up here, and I had never met them before, these disembodied voices, these ghosts on the other side of the phone." [34:00]

• Cultural and Familial Tensions:
  The story captures the tension between assimilating into American culture and maintaining ties to Iranian traditions, leading to feelings of isolation and identity conflict.

  "I had a tough time making friends... None of those are your real friends anyway. You have 100 people who love you no matter what in Iran." [39:20]

• Recreational Challenges and Parental Struggles:
  Zahra recounts a vivid memory of getting lost on a bus ride, highlighting her parents' anxiety and the lack of reliable support systems.

  "The bus driver laughs at her and says, lady, if there were less of you in the world, we'd all be better off anyways." [41:30]

• Resilience and Success in Adulthood:
  Despite past hardships, Zahra celebrates her achievements in the U.S., from her career in comedy to her active role in fostering social change, illustrating the complex layers of immigrant success.

  "I've done incredible things... These are things that would have been unimaginable if we had stayed in Iran." [43:50]

• The Heartache of Separation:
  Zahra reflects on the emotional toll of separation from her extended family, capturing the bittersweet reality of building a new life while yearning for connections left behind.

  "I hope to return to pick fruit in my grandparents' orchard, dance with my aunts, laugh with my uncles..." [45:00]

Conclusion:
Zahra's narrative beautifully encapsulates the duality of immigrant life—embracing new opportunities while grappling with the lingering shadows of the past. Her story is a testament to the strength and adaptability required to bridge two distinct worlds.

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Final Reflections

The Moth Radio Hour: Immigration Nation transcends mere storytelling by weaving together personal experiences that reflect broader societal themes. Each narrative—from Nestor's cultural assimilation and family dynamics, Anaga's struggle with healthcare amidst fear, Zeeshan's poignant medical encounter, to Zahra's duality of success and longing—paints a vivid tapestry of the immigrant journey in America. These stories collectively highlight the resilience, adaptability, and enduring hope that define the immigrant spirit, urging listeners to look beyond the headlines and appreciate the human stories that shape the nation.

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Notable Quotes:

• Nestor Gomez on feeling alienated:

  "We felt like we didn't belong. In fact, the only place that we felt like we belonged was at home at our tiny apartment." [07:30]

• Anaga Mahajan on compassion amid chaos:

  "That towel had given me the strength and his kindness had given me the strength to endure all the pain." [20:21]

• Zeeshan Naimedin on the impact of fear:

  "How many other people like that are there who just don't want to go see a doctor or don't want to see a lawyer or whatever because they're so scared." [29:15]

• Zahra Norbash on familial connections:

  "I had never met them before, these disembodied voices, these ghosts on the other side of the phone." [34:00]

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Additional Resources:

For more stories and to view photos from the episode, visit themoth.org. If you have your own immigrant story to share, The Moth encourages you to pitch your narrative through their website or by calling 877-799-MOTH.

Transcript

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[Jennifer Hixson]

From PRX this is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Jennifer Hixson. In this hour we're focusing on the immigrant experience. We hear about it in the news in the abstract, but we'll hear about the experience straight from the people who've made America their home. No agenda, just stories from Mexico, India, Iran, and this first story from a man who was born and raised in Guatemala and came to the US to escape the civil war. We first met Nestor Gomez at our Story Slam in Chicago, where we partner with public radio station WBEZ. Here's Nestor.

[Nestor Gomez]

When I came to the USA with my family, I was 15 years old. And at first we were surprised because everything is so different here in the usa. For example, in Guatemala we have rivers and lakes. But when we went to see the Lake Michigan in Chicago for the first time, we were surprised because it was so huge. It didn't look like a lake, it looked like the ocean. In Guatemala, we had tiny corner stores. But here in the usa, they had huge places where you could get lost for days. And here in the usa, everybody speaks English. My family and I, we could only speak Spanish. Well, my family could speak Spanish because I could barely speak. When I was a child, I used to suffer from a speech impediment. I used to stutter. As I grew older, I was able to overcome my stuttering just a little bit. But when I came to the USA because of the culture shock, I started stuttering again. I remember thinking to myself, great, not only do I stutter in Spanish, now I'm going to stutter in English too. I'm going to be a bilingual stutterer. Another thing that was different here in the USA was that in Guatemala, we went to school during the summertime and we took the winters off. Here in the usa, you guys go to school during the winter and you have the summers off. And we had a ride to the USA at the beginning of the summer, which meant we didn't have to go to school. But instead of spending the time at the lake or at the park, we used to spend our time at our apartment just watching tv. And the reason was that because every time that we went outside, we felt so different, so alien. We felt like we didn't belong. In fact, the only place that we felt like we belonged was at home at our tiny apartment. We could watch TV all day long and we could watch TV Telemundo. We could see people speaking Spanish. We could watch the show that we used to watch in Guatemala. And then when our mother came back from work in the afternoons, she would start watching her novellas. And we start watching the novellas. We heard the soap operas, which is strange because in Guatemala, Megan are not supposed to watch novellas. But here we were like, oh my God, novellas. And the best part, the best part, that it was done in the weekends. After my mother came from work on Friday afternoon, she would send me and my brother to the video store. Remember those? And she would send us to the video store so we could rent three movies from the selection of Latino movies at the movie store. In Guatemala, we were so poor, we could never afford to go to the movie theater. But Here, here we could watch all the classical Mexican movies. It was amazing. So we watched all the classical movies with Armand. And it was really amazing because in Guatemala we were so poor that we couldn't afford to watch the movies. But everything comes to an end. And after a couple of months we had to go to school. And I remember two weeks after the school got started, my brother came back and he was really worried. He had a worried look on his face. And I asked my brother, what's going on? Why are you worried? And he told me, tomorrow I have a test. I told my brother, why are you worried? You're smarter than me. You memorize everything really well. Why are you worried? He told me, because I had to memorize all the names of the states and the capitals and I had to say them in front of the class. It's going to be an oral test. Now, I was worried because as I told you before, I used to stutter. And the idea of an oral test scared me to death. In fact, because I had started going to school and I was the oldest, my mother had decided that I was going to become the official translator. Anybody who is immigrant would tell you that your parents made you that translator. In fact, only days prior we had gone on a sightseeing tour. And when we got lost, my mother told me that I had to go and ask a police officer for directions. Now, I usually argue with my mom about those things, but I always lost because I stuttered so I couldn't really argue. But this time, this time I decided that I wasn't going to argue with her. So I just walked in front of the family and I approached the police officer and I just pretended to be talking to him. And then I went back to my mom and I gave her the made up directions. We kind of got lost really bad that day. We finally managed to find our way. But it wasn't because of me. I didn't help at all. So now that my brother came and asked me for help, I decided that I was going to help my brother. I wanted to help my brother. So I started to write down all the names of the states and the capitals on little cards so I could show them to my brother. So I showed him one card. Iowa. Perfect. I told my brother. He was trying to say Iowa. You see, the problem was that in our time in the usa, the only thing that we have managed to learn was, was the A, B, C, D, E, F, G. The Alphabet song. We only knew how to pronounce each letter. So we were putting all the Letters together to make up the name of that state. So if we messed up Iowa, you see what we did with Kansas or with Mississippi. It was horrible. But my brother studied the name just like we pronounced them. And then he went to school. So the next day, I was waiting for him, and I asked him, how did the test go? How did the test go? And my brother started to cry. They made fun of me. Everybody was laughing. Even the teacher told me that I didn't study. And I felt so sad for my brother because he had studied really hard. And I felt so mad for the teacher and the classmates. But I also felt mad because I wasn't able to help my brother. So I told my brother, that's it. From now on, we are not watching Telemundo or anymore. From now on, when we come back from school, we're going to watch TV in English only. Yes, my brother said. And that's what we started doing when we came back from school. We started to watch the Cosby show before the allegations against him. We started to watch Roxane before we learned that she actually hates undocumented immigrants. We started to watch the Symptoms on Facts before we knew that we shouldn't be watching Fox. And when our mother came from work and started to watch the novellas, we didn't watch the novellas we heard anymore. Instead, we went to our room and we studied and we practiced the words that we had learned, especially the crazy words from Barnes and so eat my church, dude. And sometimes our mom will come into the room and will ask, que tang haciendo sang a blando de mi? Are you guys talking about me? And sometimes we were. But most of the time we were just trying to learn new words. The only time that we allow ourselves to watch movies in Spanish was on the weekends when we went to rent the Mexican movies. But then one day, I decided, I'm going to rent one movie in English. So my mother sent us to the video store, and that's what I did. I rented one movie in English, even without asking her. And that Friday afternoon, first, we watched one of the Mexican movies. And when the movie ended, I put the movie in English that I had rented. It was the Eddie Murphy rogue comedy special. I mean, I thought it was just a regular movie with a beginning, middle, end, a plot. But no, it was this guy that was just telling jokes really fast and we couldn't understand anything. So I fast forward the movie a little bit, and nothing. I fast forward the movie some more, and nothing. I fast forward the movie a third time. And then I saw that Eddie Murphy was moving his leg up and down to the sound of the music. He did this little scream, this little jump. He turned around, he did the moonwalk. He was making fun of Michael Jackson. We knew who Michael Jackson was. It was so freaking funny. So my brother and I, we started to point that a tv. Funny, funny, funny. We point at each other. Funny, funny. I was sitting on the floor in between the TV and the sofa, and I turned around to see my mother, to see she was laughing, but she was looking at us with a strange look on her face. She was looking at us like she didn't know who we were, like we were alien to her, like we were strangers. So I told my brother to go into the kitchen and get some popcorn and some sodas. And my brother didn't like to be bossed around, but he liked popcorn and sodas better. So he ran into the kitchen. And while my brother got the popcorn ready, I took the movie out and I put one of the Mexican movies instead. And by the time my brother came back with the popcorn, he saw that the Mexican movie was playing. He didn't say anything. He just sat next to my mom and my mother hugged him and they collabed together. And I wanted to do the same, but I was 15 years old, so I was too cool to do that. So instead, I got up and I sat on the other side of the sofa and I just looked at my mom and I looked at my brother because I knew that we had to get used to this country, that we had to learn to speak English so we could get better grades and eventually a good job. But in that moment in that tiny apartment, we just needed to be a family. Thank you.

[Jennifer Hixson]

That was Nestor Gomez. Since he found his voice, he's not stopped using it. At the time of this recording, he's told stories at the moth a whopping 126 times, which is indeed a Moth record. Nestor has started producing and hosting his own show called 80 Minutes around the World. It features the stories of immigrants, their descendants and allies. Nestor's show inspired this episode. Thank you, Nestor. To see a picture of Nestor and his mom, visit themoth.org Next on Next up is a story from Anaga Mahajan. She was born and raised in a small town in India and is the first person in her family to come to the United States. In fact, when she got on the plane to come to America, it was the first time she'd ever been on a plane. She told this story at a grand slam in New York City. Here's Anaga Mahajan.

[Anaga Mahajan]

Baby Shak Dudy. I was riding my bicycle, having a great day. Shag doo doo doo doo doo doo. Oh no, what is that? And do do do do. I think I broke my tooth. That was three weeks ago. My teeth are still broken. Right on time for Halloween. But I apologize if I slur a little bit or spit on some of you in the front row. Now it was a Friday. I had wrapped up work early and and was on my way to yoga. And for some weird reason this kid's song Baby Shark was stuck in my head and I was too focused on my singing while riding that I didn't see the little bump on the road and I lost all control of my bike and came crashing down face first and hit my teeth on the curb. I could hear. I could literally hear my tooth enamel breaking and there was a buzz in my head. I somehow crawled to the sidewalk and felt a gush of blood in my mouth. And as I spat it out, a couple of pieces of what used to be my chunky Bugs Bunny teeth fell out. I quickly called my husband Arnab and let him know he needs to pick me up at the Greyhound station corner in downtown. While I waited for him, the pain started to intensify and I was quickly in tears. But through those teary eyes I. I saw this man in a fluorescent vest walk towards me with couple of hand towels with him. He offered them to me and I hesitated to accept just because I didn't want to stain them. But he said he saw me fall and he was worried and he confirmed that those were washed and clean and insisted I take them. Now I was already crying, but that made me really emotional. So I grabbed one of them. He checked if somebody was coming to get me and waited till my husband pulled over and left as gently as he had arrived. Arnab took my bike, mounted it on our car and helped me inside. Once inside, almost out of habit, I pulled the sun visor thing down and moved that mirror flap aside and there it was. Through all the blood I could see three of my front teeth were shattered at the bottom and my gums were pushed inside. Now having the visual, it was all just too gruesome and too real. I was really shaking and bawling loudly. Arnab tried to calm me down and he said it's all going to be okay. And I remember thinking how sweet he is and how he doesn't deserve a wife with broken teeth. Clearly I needed medical help, but we were not sure how to get. Arnav and I have been in the US for eight years. We steadily built a good life for ourselves here, but luckily we've kept away from the hospitals and the medical health care system overall. So Arnab had to Google what do you do when you are in a bike accident? And how the ERs work. So we were really, really relying on the help and support of the ER staff to get us through this. They had something else in mind. As we pulled into the lobby, the ER nurse sleepily asked, who's the patient like? All the crying and the blood through my mouth were not close enough. Work with us here, Sherlock, I thought. Then another nurse who was taking my vitals kept talking over me with her friend about where to find best Slurpees in town. I mean, I'm all for good Slurpees, but not. I'm like, this is not the most serious case you have handled this day, even, but for us, it is as serious as it gets. And all we were hoping for some assurance, compassion, and perhaps some painkillers. I did not get any for at least two hours. We were sent from one nurse to another to another. Had to wait two more hours to get some tests done. And all this while, my wound was not even dressed. I was still using that same towel to kind of clean the blood off my mouth. After five long hours, the doctor arrived and let me know that I had a fracture in the gums, and then casually exclaimed, I don't know how you're bearing this pain so bravely. Duh. By this point, I was so tired, I couldn't even roll my eyes at her. Eventually, I got some heavy painkillers and we were discharged. But months of dental surgeries and reconstruction is still ahead of us. But in those moments of pain and waiting, both Arnab and I felt helpless, almost lost. I was thinking, is it the system or is it the people? Or is it both? Or is this how things work around here? We just don't know because this is not our home country? Or is this our home? While I was tripping on all these thoughts under the influence of painkillers.

[Zeeshan Naimedin]

I.

[Anaga Mahajan]

Felt the towel in my hand, and it reminded me of the kindness of this one man, and for some reason, painkillers. I felt in that moment that this towel had given me the strength and his kindness had given me the strength to endure all the pain and get through this ordeal. So I guess all I'm trying to say is that there are moments which make you feel helpless, unwelcome even. But for every person, process or even administration that makes you feel that way, there will always be that one person who extends that metaphorical towel of welcome, compassion, empathy and comfort and that makes you believe it's all worthwhile and this can be home. This indeed is home. And I will soon be back on my bike and I will be singing Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo Baby shark du du. Thank you.

[Jennifer Hixson]

That was Anaga Mahajan. She's an electronics engineer, management consultant, and she and her husband live in Indianapolis. Follow up on her medical situation. It took four months of weekly dentist visits to get Anaga's smile fully restored. That included two root canals. But she's looking good. We ask all our storytellers to help us come up with a title for their stories and Anaga calls the story you just heard Truthache. To re listen to Truthache or any of the other stories in this hour, or to see pictures of Anaga before And after, visit themoth.org when we return, an immigrant medical student sees an immigrant patient when the Moth Radio Hour continues.

[Production Team]

The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.

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[Jennifer Hixson]

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[Production Team]

By PRX.

[Jennifer Hixson]

I'm Jennifer Hixson. This is the Moth Radio hour from prx. Our next story comes from Maha Mohammed Naimedin. He goes by Zeeshan. He told the story for us at a story slam in Boston where we partner with PRX and public radio station wbur. Here's Zeeshan.

[I]

So back when I was in medical school, I was on one of my surgery rotations and we got a call from the ED saying that there was a guy who just came in, 19 years old and he had a mass on his testicle and they wanted us to come and take a look at it. So I went down to check it out and you know, I'm talking to this guy and you know, he's like telling me what's going on. He's like, yeah, you know, I was working the other day and couldn't really walk that well. And then this morning I couldn't really sit see that well. And my boss kind of made me come in and I was like, oh, okay. And so I proceeded to do my med student exam on him and it wasn't that subtle. He had maybe the size of an eggplant on his right testicle. And I was like, shit. So I called my resident. I was like, chris, we got to go to the or we got to take this thing out. He was like, okay, sure, let's get some imaging and get the OR prepped and get going. And while we're waiting to get some better imaging for him, I asked him, like, come on, man. Like, why? Why did it take so long?

[Sponsor Representative]

What.

[I]

What made you wait? And the thing is, like, this guy was. He's Mexican American. He was born in America. He's a citizen, but both of his parents are illegal immigrants. And his whole life, he was brought up to think that if you go to a hospital, if you go anywhere where the system is, you may get deported. And so about a year and a half ago, he started having some difficulty walking, and he started noticing the bump on his testicle. And the thing is, this guy dropped out of high school, but he was an amazing chef. He worked at a restaurant. I'm going to call it Restaurant X for obvious reasons. That's beyond amazing. Three Michelin stars, James Beard winners everywhere. And this kid had started there at 16. He's 19 now. He was a sous chef, which is insane. And this morning, he couldn't pick up the damn knives. And so his boss made him come in. And after hearing this, he goes through the CAT scanner, and we call it lighting up like a Christmas tree, because you start seeing masses everywhere, like lungs, spine. That's why he couldn't walk. Brain. That's why he couldn't see. And so later on that day, we took him to the. OR took it out. And kind of immediately we knew it was cancer. And in the recovery room, he asked me, am I going to be okay? And I'm a med student. What am I supposed to say? And I told him, we'll do the best we can. What else am I supposed to say? I'm not trained for that yet. He goes on to the cancer service, and I go on with my life. About a year later, I went with a couple of my friends to Restaurant X for Restaurant Week. And I found out from the waitstaff there that he had died six months before. And that's the thing. He was 19 years old. Cancer can be beaten. It's hard. But when found early, like testicular cancer usually is, it can be very easily beaten. But this guy was just so scared for his parents that he waited. And the thing is, since then, I've worked at many hospitals. I've practiced for a decent amount of time now. And from the most expensive, richest hospitals in the country to the poorest, from Ivy League hospitals to state university hospitals, I've never met a single physician, nurse, social worker who gives a fuck what your immigration status is. I've never had it become a point of contention because all we do is we want to make you better. And this past year with the election, this is all that we've been hearing. In my mind, I keep thinking about this 19 year old kid. How many other people like that are there who just don't want to go see a doctor or don't want to see a lawyer or whatever because they're so scared. But you know, we try our best. And every day I go to work and I never bring it up. None of my colleagues ever brings it up. And in the end, that's the best that we can do. Thank you.

[Jennifer Hixson]

That was Zeeshan Naimedin. Zeeshan is a lung and intensive care physician who's been training for, quote, millions of years. He can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and thinks he may be able to squeeze in a nap eventually. His wife isn't sure regarding this story. Zeshan said he thinks about this guy all the time. He said that misinformation about the health care world and our relation to immigration services is rampant. And he told me, I still haven't met a health care professional who cares about immigration status when it comes to patient care. When we return, a teenager goes back to her mother's homeland for the very first time when the Moth Radio Hour continues.

[Production Team]

The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and presented by the Public Radio Exchange prx.org.

[Jennifer Hixson]

I'm Jennifer Hixon. This is the Moth Radio Hour from prx. Our final story is by Zara Norbash. She's a comic based in California. Here's Zara at a Moth show we produced in Mesa, Arizona.

[Zeeshan Naimedin]

I'm going to take you to San Francisco, California, a little suburb outside of San Francisco, California, way back a long, long time ago to when I was a little girl and you had one phone in the house, usually in the kitchen. I'm a little girl and it's late at night and my mom is performing her usual ritual, holding this little green card with 15 digits on it saying, wake up, wake up, Zahra, Mina, wake up. And taking us over to the kitchen, dragging us. And then while we were yawning and exhausted, we would wait to hear hello, Afruz Salaam. My grandmother's voice. And my mom would say, tell them, tell them, Zarra, tell them about your day. Tell them about the flying car that you drew in art class. Zahra, tell them about your report card. Say something. It's your family. And I'd be like, cool, okay. And I would hear my grandmother's voice and my grandfather's voice and my aunt's and my uncles and my cousins all saying, hello, how are you? We miss you. We love you. And I'd be like, I have no idea who you are, because I grew up here. I grew up here, and I had never met them before, these disembodied voices, these ghosts on the other side of the phone, that my mom would say, this is your family. This is your family. And there were times at school that I did feel different, but not because we were Iranian, not because we were Muslim and my mom wore the Islamic headscarf, not because my dad had a thick accent, not because I spoke two languages, but because I had a ghost family that lived on the other side of the planet. And it made me feel really different. When my parents came here, they came just before the revolution broke. They came for school. And then the revolution happened, and they were stuck here for a time. And then it became difficult to visit because they had me, and then they had my little sister, and it became even more difficult to try to visit. And then they had my brother, and it became even more difficult. And my father had a highly competitive job, and my mom was still in school. And then they had my little brother, right? And he was growing up. And so we moved. We moved to another suburb outside of San Francisco, California, where everything looked exactly the same. And my sister and I were going to school, and it was a new school. We had moved in the middle of my third grade year. I remember I had a tough time making friends. I came home one day and I was complaining to my mom that it was difficult to make friends. And she said, it doesn't matter, Zahra. None of those are your real friends anyway. You have 100 people who love you no matter what in Iran. And I was like, yeah, that's going to go really well at school. Mom, I have 100 ghost friends. I don't need you guys. I have 100 ghost friends. As my brother got a little bit older, my mom was able to go back to work. And so she had us ride the bus for the very first time. And she told us, you know, I'm going to pick you up from the fourth stop. And it was my job to remember as the fourth stop, and the bus is going, and I lose count, and we get off, the bus driver leaves and nobody is there, and I'm with my little sister, and we're so lost, and every house looks exactly the same, and I can't remember if we live on Deerbrook Lane, Meadow Drive, or if we live on Meadow Deer, Brook Lane Drive. And meanwhile, six Brook Meadow Lane drives down. My mom is waiting for us. And the bus comes and the bus is leaving and my mom panics and says, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And she's dragging my brother in the stroller and she says, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. My girls, my girls. And the bus is still leaving and my mom runs up to the bus and she's slamming on the bus doors and she says, please, please. And she scans the bus really quickly, the empty bus, and she says, my girls, my girls, my girls. I can't find my girls. And the bus driver laughs at her and says, lady, if there were less of you in the world, we'd all be better off anyways. And now my mother is terrified and she's looking for us everywhere. And then we finally see her calling our names at the end of Brook Meadow Lane, Deer Court. And we yell, mom, Mom. And we grab each other and we hold each other and we're both shaking and shaking and shaking and trembling. And my sister is saying, where were you? And I'm saying, I'm sorry. And she says, it's okay. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Thank God. Thank God. Echoda. Echoda. She's so scared. That night was a long night. My dad came home late. He had a meeting with the principal and he made sure that that bus driver was fired. And even though we were supposed to be in bed, I could hear them arguing. I could hear them arguing about whether or not it would be better for us to go back. And my mother was saying they should be somewhere where everybody loves them no matter what. And I know that they'll be safe. And my dad was saying, but there are so many more opportunities afforded to them as two young girls growing up if we stay here. It is true that growing up, we were afforded amazing opportunities as two young women here. And I am especially proud of the life that I've led. I have done incredible things. I've done things that would have been unimaginable if we were still living in Iran. I am a comedian, I tour, my writing is published nationally. I have a podcast where I talk with my big loud mouth people about being feminist Muslim, Iranian American, bisexual and out pork eating, alcohol drinking Muslim, married to an atheist infidel, living it up. I've even had the honor of going to the White House white once a while ago to talk with my big loud mouth and my confusing ideas and These are things that would have been unimaginable if we had stayed in Iran. And after shows, people will come up to me and they will say, aren't you glad you're not there? And every time somebody says that, I go back into my mind to when I was 14 years old. Like a time travel. When I was 14 years old, I finally went to this country with the ghost people on the other side of the planet. And I remember it so clearly. It was midnight, 1:00 in the morning. And just like at home, my mom was full of energy and we were exhausted. And she's taking us checkpoint after checkpoint after checkpoint. You know, this metal detector. Grab those bags, fill out these forms. Do we have something? Do we not have any. Anything for customs? All the rituals that a kid is lucky to be able to just say hmm as you go through. And we finally come to the last clearance place with the metal detector and everything, and I get distracted because I hear boom, boom, boom. And we look and we can't see anything because it's pitch black. It's glass doors everywhere, all around us, but it's pitch black black. And then we hear athrus. Boom, boom, boom, athrus. And the guy handing us our bag looks at my mom and says, you're very popular. And then my sister and I drop our bags and we look at each other and we look at my mom and say, oh, my God, are we famous in Iran? And my mom is crying and tears are streaming down her face and she wipes them with her sleeve and her voice cracks as she says, no, that's. That's your family. And the double doors bust open and all I hear is, I'm your uncle, I'm your uncle, I'm your uncle, I'm your uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle, aunt, aunt, aunt, aunt, aunt, aunt, aunt, cousin, cousin, cousin, cousin, cousin, cousin. And I can taste tears and I can feel my cheeks being pinched and I can feel myself being squeezed and hugged. And then one of my cousins grabs me by the arm and takes me aside and she has a million questions and she says, okay, okay, you have to tell me what's Michael Jackson really like? And then she says, what is it like to live in Hollywood? Can you tell Steven Spielberg he's got to make another Indiana Jones and what do the American people really think of Madonna? And I say, I don't know. I have to go to my mom. She's crying and I'm looking for my mom and scanning and scanning, and then I see her. And I also see in the distance four school buses. Four school buses drove my mom's family to the airport to meet us at 1 o'clock in the morning. And coming towards us from the school buses, I hear one voice that I really recognize. Aziz Afros. Azizam, my baby. And my mom says, maman. And I realize that's my grandma. My mom has a mom and sisters and brothers and I have cousins. And as I'm looking at my mom there, I see her face and she is glowing. Glowing. And for the rest of my life, I will measure my mother's joy by that moment, looking at her kids playing with their cousins, surrounded by their aunts and uncles in the arm of her mother and father. And now looking back, I know that it's not super safe for me as the pork eating, alcohol drinking, bisexual Muslim married to an atheist infidel with her big loud mouth to go back. But I know how much they miss me because of how much I miss them. And thanks to my mom, I do have my nightly ritual of calling up my grandmother. And what I wish for you all is to have anywhere the 100 people that love you no matter what. Thank you.

[Jennifer Hixson]

That was Zahra Norbash. She's the co host of the award winning podcast Good Muslim, Bad Muslim and works with the pop culture collaborative on something called Comedy for Social Change. Zahra has not been back to Iran since that last visit but longs to return to pick fruit in her grandparents orchard, dance with her aunts, laugh with her uncles and pretend like she's still the expert on Rocky, Michael Jackson and Madonna for all her cousins. Do you have a story to tell us about your immigrant experience? You can pitch us your story by recording it right on our site or call 877-799-MOTH. That's 877-799-6684. The best picture pictures are developed for moth shows all around the world. We have no shortage of immigrant stories at the Moth. This is America after all. Maybe next time we do an hour like this we'll work on including stories from people coming here from all the other continents. That's it for this episode. We hope you'll join us next time.

[Production Team]

Your host this hour was Jennifer Hickson. Jennifer also directed the stories in the show. The rest of the Moss directorial staff includes Kathryn Burns, Sarah Haberman, Sarah Austin, Janess and Meg Bowles. Production support from Emily Couch. Moss stories are true as remembered and affirmed by the storytellers. Our theme music is by the Dragon Drift. Other music in this hour from Mark Orton, Bela Fleck, Jia Bing Chen, VM Bot, Tin Hat Trio, and Stellwagen Symphonet. You can find links to all the music we use at our website. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by me, Jay Allison with Vicki Merrick at Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. This hour was produced with funds from the National Endowment for the Arts. The Moth Radio Hour is presented by prx. For more about our podcast, for information on pitching us your own story and everything else, go to our website themoth.org.