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Today's show is sponsored by Alma. I know I'm not the only one who turns to the Internet when I'm struggling. It feels like there are so many answers from how to learn the ukulele to how to improve my mental health. But what I've come to realize is that while I can use the Internet to strum a stunted version of La vie en Rose, when it comes to taking care of my mind, there's no replacement for real human relationships. But even finding a therapist can feel like an inevitable online black hole. That's why I'm so happy to share that Alma makes it easy to connect with an experienced therapist, a real person who can listen, understand and support you through your specific challenges. You don't have to be stuck with the first available person. Trust me, it's important to find someone you click with. They can be nice, they can be smart. They can let you bring your Chihuahua. True story. But they also have to be someone who really gets you uniquely. When you browse Alma's online directory, you can filter by the qualities that matter to you. Then book free 15 minute consultations with the therapists you're interested in seeing. This way you can find someone you connect with on a personal level and see real improvements in your mental health with their support. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit helloalma.commoth to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello a lma.com moth you know what kills the vibe of a summer day? Opening your wireless bill and seeing a bunch of unexpected charges. I know I'm at that point and am looking to make a change. Enter Mint Mobile. Mint gives you the same premium wireless service you're used to on the nation's largest 5G network, but for a fraction of the price. And right now they're offering new customers three months of unlimited talk, text and high speed data. No overages, no nonsense. You can keep your phone, your number and your contacts. All you're ditching is that overpriced bill. Make room in your budget for things you actually enjoy this year. Skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get this new customer offer and your three month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com moth that's mintmobile.com moth upfront payment of $45 required equivalent to $15 a month limited time new customer offer for first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. This is the Moth Radio Hour. I'M Meg Boles. And in this show, stories of persevering, persisting and going the distance. The challenges we face, from perilous mountains to epic battles and crushing fears. Sometimes we make it through with grace, and other times, well, not so much. Our first story comes from Sarah Johnson, who took the stage at one of our open mic story slams where WNYC is a media partner of the Moth from the Bell House in Brooklyn. Here's Sarah.
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You too. Thanks. When I was eight years old, I had a nano puppy. You guys know what that is? It's like a Tamagotchi. It's a little plastic egg toy with a screen and three buttons. And you have, it's like an electronic pet. It's like a dog or an alien or whatever. And you have to feed it and bathe it and play with it and put it to sleep and basically keep alive this little pixelated dog shaped blob, you know? And it was super fun, man, I gotta tell you. And I was 8 years old and me and Nano puppy are just having a blast, okay? And I take, we go everywhere together. He's my best friend. I hook him onto my little belt loop on my jeans and I walk around and he like bounces. I love him. But I started to notice after like two weeks, every time I need to do something like human 8 year old related, like sleep or go to school, Nano Puppy dies of neglect. And like the guilt and the devastation and the humiliation that I feel as an eight year old is frankly inappropriate. Like it's like anxiety through the roof, right? So I make it my like life's mission to keep this generation of nano puppy alive. And it turns out that is a 24 hour day job because every time it gets hungry or sleepy, it beeps. So it's like all night, all, whatever. It's just beeping at me. And my parents are starting to notice that I am not sleeping well. I am, I'm like telling my friends that I'm sick so I don't have to go outside and play with them so I can like take care of nano Puppy. And I'm lying to my teacher. I'm basically telling my teacher I gotta go pee every 30 minutes because I can hear Nano Puppy in my locker beeping. And I go out to take care of him, but God, I love him, right? It's just like heartstrings. So like time passes and, you know, Nano Puppy's getting stronger and healthier and happier and I'm just getting like weaker and sicker and sadder. And just like, we're just like one thing. Like he's sucking my soul out, and my energy becomes his energy. And we're just like.
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We're getting.
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We're getting really close. And I'm realizing that. I'm realizing that if Nano Puppy lives, I die. So, along with all the life lessons that Nano Puppy teaches your children, like it's a good toy. Teaches them time management, responsibility, like motherhood, basically, I am now firsthand experiencing the concept of infanticide, which is another thing I should not have to know about forever. Even as an 8 year old, it's just not a thing. But the seed's been planted. I can't tell anybody about this. Most of all, I need to hide this from nanopep because I've started to, like, distance myself from nanobaby. Just, like, maybe leave it for a little bit longer. Oh, no. He notices. He gets hungrier, he gets sick, he gets loud. Everybody's noticing. So I'm like, having to hide the fact. I obviously cannot let him starve to death. Everybody notices because all my friends have them too, but they seem fine. I don't know what it was about this.
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Whatever.
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So one day, I hook Nano Puppy to the belt loop of my jeans like I do, and I put those jeans in a laundry basket. And I take that laundry basket to my mother, who is loading the washing machine, and she doesn't say a word. And I don't say a word. And 28 minutes later, when we pulled sopping wet Nano Puppy out of the washing machine, he was still alive. So we're like pretending. We're like, oh, it's fine. Ha ha. That's funny. Oh, God. And my mom goes. My mom goes. Like, she lowers her voice because I don't know Nano Puppy can hear. She goes, why don't you dry it off by putting it in the freezer? So the next morning, I go to check on nanopuppy status, and he is still alive. Except now he is super angry. And so now the guilt is just crushing. Like I can't function. I now copy. I now have to take care of my brain dead, angry spawn of Satan because of the karma. Anyway, so I just continued to take care of it. We went camping a couple days later, he woke up in the middle of the night and was like, I'm hungry. And my dad. My dad just took it, ripped open the tent, threw that thing as far as he could, and it landed in our campfire from whence it came. So I left it there. It's okay with me. I don't know. I guess the moral, the thing that I learned from this is just don't lie about when you don't want something in your life anymore. Don't keep it going if it's not healthy and it's not good. And don't try and pretend it is and just throw that thing off a damn bridge. Thank you.
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That was Sarah Johnson. Sarah grew up in Montana and lived in Brooklyn for 13 years where she hosted an all female variety show called Camp Sunshine and frequently put her name in the hat at our open mic story slams during the pandemic. She moved to Atlanta to be closer to family and is now working on becoming an historical preservationist. She says that after the demise of nano Puppy, she felt major relief and a lot of guilt. But that was quickly replaced by her new obsession, the Spice Girls. You can see a picture of Sarah and her now infamous nano puppy at our website, themoth.org Next up, we have a story of engineering marvels that come with their own set of challenges. Mike Malik took the stage at a story slam we produced in Pittsburgh, where we're supported by public radio station wesa. Here's Mike live at the mall.
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Hey, y'.
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All.
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So six years ago, my company asked me to spend a month on the road performing tall bridge inspections. And so these are bridges that are too tall for us to inspect with a ladder. And so we use an underbridge truck. And you may have seen this before, it's a truck that sits on top of the bridge. It has a bucket lift on the back, but instead of this bucket lift going straight in the air, it can go out, down and beneath the bridge. And the bridges that we were going to inspect were anywhere from 50 to 150ft in the air. So as a scary comparison, this is like being a window washer on an eight story building. This was a big problem for me because not only am I afraid of heights, but I'm afraid of most marginally extreme activities someone can do. And I've been this way my whole life. And so growing up, little kid birthday parties were a problem for me. Like, I wouldn't ride roller coasters. So when my friends were riding roller coasters, I would be on the ground at a bench just watching their bags. You know those like, little kid obstacle courses where you climb up a rope net and then crawl through a plastic tube and then climb up another rope net. At some point, I'd be high enough off the ground where I'd become paralyzed and my mom would have to crawl in and come Carry me out.
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Which.
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Is hysterical because this being afraid of everything, things are hereditary. And she was probably more afraid of that rope course than I was. But the worst party by far were the laser tag parties. And because there's no. You can't skip them and there's no moms to carry me out. And I would get locked in a dark room with confined spaces and tripping hazards and then lasers flying past my head. And I hope you all can appreciate that by me agreeing to go on this inspection trip. It was a big deal. And my first day, I showed up, and there are three people who make this trip go. There's me, the bridge inspector, who's afraid of everything. There's my co worker, Bernie, who's a grizzled bridge inspection veteran who fears nothing. And then there's the guy in the truck, and I forget his name, but I'll call him Gary. And his job is just to stay in the truck. And if something goes wrong, he's got our back. He's there for us. On my first day, Gary told me that it was his first day on the job. And so I had a little panic attack before I could even conquer any fear of heights. But the first week went pretty well. I got better with the heights. I also got better with the rocking motion on the bucket. And I never was quite able to take both hands off the railing while I was inspecting, but I could get one hand off. And usually I have, like one panic attack a day. Something small, be it the wind or if the truck was making noises. But Bernie would calm me down and things were going well. There was one day and we were at the best part of the day. This is the part of the day where we're done inspecting the bridge and we are able to now maneuver the bucket out from underneath the bridge, back on top of the bridge. That is going from where I'm hanging off the side of a bridge to where I'm safe on top of the bridge. And I look forward to this every day because it means I've survived the day. I'm alive. And Bernie's, you know, he's operating the bucket. We are getting closer and closer to that point where I know I've made it. We're maybe one to two feet from the bridge and the bucket stops. I look at Bernie because he's my pillar of strength during these times, and I implore him to keep on going because we're almost there. And Bernie is pressing the lever that makes this bucket move, and it's not going anywhere. So, y', all, this is where Gary comes in the picture. He's got our back, and I can see him. And Gary yells to us, I don't know what's wrong.
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So.
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And besides, falling out of this bucket to my death, like, this is my biggest fear. We are stuck on the bucket. I go in full meltdown mode. And I'm just holding on to the side of the bucket. I don't hear anything. I'm just staring off on the horizon. And we are about 90ft in the air, mind you, I can look down. I can see, like, a picturesque stream. I can see trees, but they're really far down. And during this time where I was not with it, I guess Bernie and Gary decided that the best course of action. Now, mind you, we are one to two feet away from the bridge. So we're just gonna open up the door and the bucket, and we're gonna step from the bucket to the bridge. It's a small step, really small. But, y', all, it is so far down. And it took a while to convince me that this was a good idea. And I made Bernie go first because he would reach out his hand to me. I grabbed his hand. I didn't look down. It was far. And I looked at Bernie, took a deep breath, and I took my pretty small step, but still a big step onto the bridge, and I was safe. And as soon as I stepped off that bucket, I vowed I would never go back in there again. The next morning at 8am, I got right back into that bucket. And this story continued for the rest of that month. And I survived. And when I look back on this experience, I try and think of what lessons I could learn about either the experience or myself. And the answer is, I learned absolutely nothing. I already knew that I belong in one place, and that's with my feet on the ground.
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Thank you. Mike Malik spent that entire month inspecting high level bridges in state parks across Western Pennsylvania. And he hated every minute of it. He said he would end every day just grateful to be alive. The job solidified his fear of heights and also instilled in him a healthy fear of bugs, poison ivy, and livestock. Apparently, he once inspected a bridge right next to a very angry bull. These days, Mike is the city of Pittsburgh's lead traffic signal engineer. He's passionate about making urban infrastructure accessible and friendly to all, but especially pedestrians and cyclists. His feet stay firmly on the ground, and the only wildlife he encounters now is the occasional mouse living in a signal pole. He says he hopes to never inspect a bridge again. Ever to see pictures of Mike on the job then and now you can Visit our website, themoth.org Coming up, an evening out ends in broken bones, damaged friendships and moral judgments when the Moth Radio Hour continues.
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The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.
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Have you ever tried listing out all your financial accounts like your 401ks, old savings accounts, investments, even that dusty brokerage from a past job, and realize you don't actually know what you have or what it's worth? Most people can't. And that lack of awareness? It's how money gets left on the table. That's where Monarch comes in. It's an all in one personal finance tool that helps you feel organized and confident bringing your entire financial life together in one clean, easy to understand dashboard on your laptop or phone. With Monarch, I realized I had way more cash just sitting around than I thought and I wasn't saving as aggressively as I wanted. Monarch gave me a real time view of everything, how much I'm spending, where I can cut back and how my investments are doing. I even link my partner's accounts so we're finally on the same page financially. Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code moth@monimalmoney.com in your browser for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first year@monimalmoney.com with the code Moth you know there's something special about stories. Whether it's a personal tale that brings laughter or a documentary that tugs at the heartstrings, the right story can transport anyone. That's the magic of Prime. It's a place where stories come to life. Amazon prime isn't just about fast delivery, though it definitely makes life easier. It's about the stories available to stream on Prime Video, the music that sets the mood, and even those spontaneous discoveries like finding a podcast or show that feels perfectly timed. There have been moments spent diving into stories that keep the night going, listening to music that resonates deeply, or getting things delivered to stay inspired. Prime helps fuel passion and keeps the connection strong to the stories that matter. So for anyone always looking for new stories, new experiences, or new ways to be inspired, prime has it all. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Visit Amazon.comprime to get more out of whatever you're into. Amazon.comprime Summer is winding down, so I'm on the hunt for transitional pieces that can help take my wardrobe into the fall. I want quality, comfort and style you know, effortless chic that only looks expensive and Quince really gets it right. What's amazing is that these luxe styles start at just $40. Quince works directly with top artisans and cuts out the middlemen. So you get beautiful, high quality clothes at about half the cost of similar brands. Plus, they only partner with factories that prioritize safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices. I recently ordered some gorgeous linen shirts and I've been super impressed with the quality, fit and feel. Whether it's for everyday wear or something special, Quince delivers both style and value. Elevate your fall wardrobe essentials with quince. Go to quince.commoth for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I-N-C-E.commoth to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.commoth sometimes we take on challenges and other times we end up creating them for ourselves. Samira Sahebi shared this story at one of our open mic story slams in Portland, Oregon where we partner with Oregon Public Broadcasting. Here's Samira live at the mosque.
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So When I was 14, I was sent away to the west by myself and my family gave me a partying gift. It was family, a very fancy gold ring. So five years later, when I lived in Los Angeles as a pretty well assimilated westerner, I lived with two roommates and at that time, the only thing Persian about me was my accent and the ring. So one night the roommates wanted to go party and I declined and Laura decided to entice me by holding out her acid washed brown leather jacket. And she said, if you come, you get to wear, wear this. And I had this super skimpy tube top that I could never wear on its own. And this just became my motivation to go. I was like, okay, I'll go. And so I went to get the jacket and she pulled it back. She's like, wait, you need to really take care of this. I'm like, oh sure, of course. And she's like, no, no, I mean it. No stains, no forgetting it. And I said, I give you my word. And so we all got very 80s chic and went to 40 miles south to Hermosa beach to some guy's house and we got really drunk and then we headed to the strip where we would go from bar to bar and while we were dancing, the ring had come off. So as the group got smaller and smaller, people would go back to the house to sleep. There were three people left and I was desperately looking for the ring. And these three people are like, yeah, we'll wait for you. And so I came out the last bar, and they could just tell that I had not found the ring. I was, like, on the verge of tears. And this guy with, like, an Eddie Van Halen haircut, he's like, don't be sad. It's going to be okay.
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Oh, jump up.
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I'm going to give you a piggyback ride. And I was like, oh, no. And he's like, come on, come on. And then he kind of backed into me and leaned. You know, he just assumed the posture for me to mount him. And it was so forward that I just felt bad declining. So I jumped up. And he had been drinking, so as soon as I. Maybe I was heavier than I looked, he just kind of lost his balance. And I had been drinking also. And so I just watched the whole thing unfold as the asphalt got closer to my face and then further and closer, and I was like. Like, fascinating. So what did happen is that he flipped me over his shoulder onto the cold asphalt. This was winter. I know it was la, but it was still winter for us. And so then he lost his own balance and fell and shattered my collarbone. There was this exploding glass sound, and I passed out. And I woke up in the er, and. And Eddie Van Halen had driven following the ambulance, which I was grateful for because I didn't know anybody. And so the very first thing they want to do in the er, like, the whole staff has gathered behind me, and they're like, go get the shears. The extra large ones from upstairs. We're going to cut the jacket. And I was like, no, not the jacket. And she's like, trust me, sweetie, you want me to cut the jacket? And I was like, no, please don't cut the jacket. So then Eddie is standing next to me, holding my hand, putting it on his chest. Like this devoted husband who's coaching his wife through childbirth. He's like, you can do this. You can do this. He's almost crying. He feels so guilty. I'm sobbing. There's makeup everywhere. So they take this thing off. I felt this cold that was to the bone. I could not stop shaking. So there piling warm blanket after me. And there's this hierarchy in er. First of all, I didn't get any drugs, and I didn't know why, but so I'm in pain. And they're like, yeah, you're kind of low priority. Like, people with heart attack get to cut in front of you. And Then we also had gunshot wounds tonight, so you just need to be patient. So finally, at 4 in the morning, I see this shadow of a man emerging from the hallway. And he's got a limp, he's got an accent. He. He's like, I'm gonna take your X ray. And he's walking way too fast for that time of day. He just goes down the hallway, gets me to X ray, closes the door. And he's like, are you Persian? I'm Persian. And I was like, yes. And he's like, I know someone with your last name. And then he recites the name of my father. And I am mortified. And so I tell him because I was too honest. And then the mood shifted. He just got very, very quiet. Like, he just went from interested to, oh, shit. And then he, like, looked at me up and down, and I could, like, see myself through his eyes, through these Muslim eyes. I reeked of vodka, I looked so trashy. And he just said, what happened, child? And that cut like a knife. And then I started shivering again. And so he took the X ray without looking at me. He pushed me down the hallway. And this time, he was not so preppy. He was just pushing me very slowly, weighted down by the tragedy that was me. And the hallway seemed eternal. And in that eternity, I got to feel the weight of the expectation of what a good girl should do. So especially a good Muslim girl. And he dropped me in the room. He said goodbye without looking at me, and he left. And I never saw the X ray man ever again. But that night, my two fragmented, intentionally separated world collapsed. They just collided. And although I lost a physical representation of my origin, I tapped into. I tapped into a journey of integration, where my two polarities started to come together, which has been a journey ever since. And a part of me wants to find that man. I want to kind of thank him for actually genuinely caring. And a part of me wants to kind of look at him and be like, I turned out okay. Thank you.
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Samira Sahebi is a writer and performer based in Portland, Oregon, and she's a Moth Grand Slam champion. Samara was so determined to save her friend's jacket that she insisted they not cut it off her. She said removing it was incredibly painful, as the nurse assured her it would be. But the jacket made it out unscathed. She managed to successfully return it and vowed never to borrow another piece of expensive clothing. As it turns out, her father did indeed know the radiology technician.
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But.
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But with her father living in Iran, and the technician in the US Their paths never crossed and she managed to keep the embarrassing details of her injury a secret from her family for many years. You can find out more about Samira and share any of the stories featured in this hour by visiting our website, themoth.org our next story comes from Beth Bradley, who takes us to the mountains of Colorado. She shared this at a Grand Slam we produced in Denver with support from public radio station kunc. Here's Beth.
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I really wanted to cry and I really wanted to give up, but I really didn't want to do both and I was running out of time to make up my mind. It was 11:45am and I was sitting on a huge pile of rocks located about 13,700ft above sea level and I was trying to get to the 14,000 foot summit of the mountain that these rocks belong to, but I only had about 15 minutes left. And that's because when you're at that type of elevation, it gets really dangerous to be on the summit anytime after 12pm in Colorado because there's lightning that rolls in pretty much every afternoon in the mountains in the summer. So I've been climbing straight up, up, up this mountain for the past five or six hours with two of my best friends, Katie and Dawn, and I only had about a quarter mile left to go, but it might as well have been 500 miles. Katie and dawn have both done a climb like this before, but not me. Basically my whole life the world's been telling me I'm too fat to try stuff like this, so I pretty much believe that too. And even though Katie and Dawn and I have been friends for 20 years, I was still nervous to be climbing with them because I knew they'd be able to do it no problem and I'd be the slow one. So I had been training and doing research for months. I remember one article that I came across suggested that you bring Kleenex with you because when you're up at that elevation the wind blows like crazy, so your nose is probably going to be running. So I had not only heeded that advice, I had actually bought the name brand Kleenexes for an extra dollar because they happened to have motivational messages printed on them like believe in yourself and seize this moment. But nothing, not even the Kleenexes, had prepared me for how I was feeling at 11:45, which was just completely depleted and essentially catatonic. So Don and Katie had kind of gone up ahead to sort of scope out the rest of the trail and I was just alone with My thoughts, which had been pretty positive up till then. Like, I felt like all that preparation was paying off, but now the disappointment was just seeping in. And the worst part about that was how familiar it tasted. Three years before that, I had moved all the way out to Seattle. And even though I had approached that move with the same kind of exhaustive preparation as this climb, I felt like I just couldn't get my life to work out there. Like it was just one failure after another. Like, the job I got turned out to be a bad fit. I couldn't get acclimated. And then the relationship that I was in fell apart in a really excruciating and heartbreaking way. So I had managed to get myself home. I'd managed to move back to Colorado. But I felt like I had gone on this 2000 mile detour just to end up exactly where I started. So I wanted it to mean something. I wanted being home to mean something. And I wanted all that time to count. The mountains have been there all along. But for the first time, I found myself wanting to know what it would feel like to be on top of one. But the higher I got, the heavier all of that felt. And the later it got, the more the pressure was bearing down. At this point, I noticed that everyone else I could see was very thin and lithe, and they were just scampering up the rocks like the world's most annoying pack of gazelles. No one else was struggling like I was. So I was scared and I was overwhelmed. And I was hating my body for being too fat and my mind for being too weak. And I just kept thinking to myself, who do I think I am to even attempt this? Like, who do I think I am to even try? So at this point, I could see that Katie was headed back down to where I was. And I could tell from her eyes that she was going to say that it was too late and we needed to turn around and that it would be too dangerous to keep going at the pace that I was going were too slow. So she came and sat down on the rock next door. And I was just letting that defeat, like, settle in. But then, totally calm, Katie said, we should keep going. I know you can do it. So then a weird thing happened, which is that I realized I believed her. Even though Katie and I have been friends forever. And she said stuff like that to me before, this time, I finally heard it. And so when I had been asking myself, who do I think I am? The answer had been this person who's too fat to keep trying, who kept failing over and over. But Katie was seeing someone else. She was seeing someone she loved who'd been through all of that and kept going. So she was seeing someone strong. So when Katie said that I could do it, it sounded different than the Kleenex. It sounded like the truth. So I decided not to give up and wanting to cry became my only motivation. And the next 10 minutes were just like a blur of pain and exhaustion. But basically, right at noon, I heave myself over the last stupid rock and I was surprised to find myself on the flat solid ground at the summit. All of those gazelle people were hanging out and smiling and taking pictures. I was the only person who was smiling and openly weeping. I was also hugging Katie and Dawn like crazy. I was petting dogs and I was looking out at the view, which was as incredible as anything I've ever seen. I realized I would also advise being Kleenex if you do a climb like this, because crying on top of a mountain is a wonderful feeling and I'd recommend it to anyone. So it's good to be prepared. I keep chasing that feeling. I keep trying to climb more mountains. Sometimes I get to the top and sometimes I don't. But what I've noticed is that that one question isn't coming into my head anymore. That question of who do I think I am now I know who I am.
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Beth Bradley is a two time Moth Story Slam winner and also tells stories professionally. As a content marketer growing up, Beth says she never saw anyone of her size represented in the outdoors and spent most of her life never even considering that she would one day carry herself to the top of a mountain, let alone a Mountain over 14,000ft. She says it was one of the most profound feelings she's ever had and it doesn't get old. Since that climb back in 2018, Beth has continued hiking nearly every week. She's up to somewhere around 175 hikes and counting. You can see pictures of Beth and find out more about her adventures in hiking on our website, themoth.org coming up, Rudos Technicos and the magical world of Mexican Wrestling when the Moth Radio Hour continues.
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The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.
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This season, let your shoes do the talking.
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Designer Shoe warehouse is packed with fresh styles that speak to your whole vibe.
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Without saying a word.
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The easy sandals you'll want to wear on repeat. DSW has you covered. Find a shoe for every u from the brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike.
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Adidas, New Balance and more.
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Head to your DSW store or visit dsw.com today. Ready to level up? Champa Casino is your playbook to fun. It's free to play with no purchase necessary. Enjoy hundreds of online social games like blackjack, slots and solitaire anytime, anywhere, with fresh releases every week. Whether you're at home or on the go, let Chumba Casino bring the excitement to you. Plus, get free daily login bonuses and a free welcome bonus. Join now for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Play Chumba Casino today. No purchase necessary. VGW Group Void where prohibited by law. 21 +TNCs apply. Hey, it's Jill Schlesinger, CBS News business analyst, certified financial planner and host of the podcast Money Watch with Jill Schlesinger. It's a show where we answer your questions about your money, from investing to retirement and completing your taxes. I'll be your financial coach and help take the stress out of managing your money. Plus, we might even have a little fun along the way. Follow and listen to Money Watch with Jill Schlesinger on the Free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. This is the Moth Radio hour from prx. I'm Meg Bowles. Our final story in this hour comes from Sean Leonardo, who we met after he called the Moth pitchline. He shared his story at the first event we produced in front of a live audience after the reopening of theaters that had been shuttered due to the pandemic. Live from the Wilbur Theater in Boston in partnership with WGBH, here's Shawn Leonardo.
- [39:26]
F
In 2010, I'm standing in this grimy little gym in Oaxaca, Mexico, finally watching La Lucha Libre. And now, for those of you that don't know what that is, La lucha is the arts of Mexican wrestling. The pageantry and acrobatics are second to none. And while the storylines and narratives of good versus evil would feel familiar to you, there's a special magic to La lucha. Because in Mexican culture, it is sacred. Now, I've always had a fascination with La Lucha ever since watching it on the TV with my dad. And it's always been so spectacular. But those warriors were so foreign to me in their mask and regalia, flipping every which way. But I would learn later that those same warriors were your everyday teachers, taxi drivers, office workers. But in the ring, when that mask came on, they were gods. And as a scrawny kid from some insignificant neighborhood in Queensborough, New York City, I wanted to feel that. I wanted to know what it meant to be a hero. And so now, standing there, I was in complete awe. So much so that I wait for hours after the event just to approach a promoter and ask if I might start training with the local luchadores. Now, two important things to I'm not Mexican. Yes, I'm Latino, but I'm from Queens. Maybe more importantly, at the time, I had zero wrestling experience. But I may have fibbed just a little bit and told the promoter that I was a wrestler back home in the United States. States, whatever it was. He goes backstage, comes back with a little piece of paper with an address scribbled all over and says, show up here Friday. He didn't say when, just show up here Friday. So I did, but five hours too early. But I waited and I waited. Then after while in comes the trainer and it is the legendary Rigo Cisneros from Nacho Libre fame. I lose it. And he comes up to me, silently sizes me up, and in the quietest voice goes, hop in the ring. And the ring. The ring is an iron frame with plywood on top, some sprinklings of rubber, and an old vinyl billboard securing it down. Not the bouncy thing y' all are imagining. The wrestlers were amateurs twice my size. And everything I did was clumsy and tense. And so they saw that and decided to deliver the punishment just to see if I would come back the next day. And so the slaps to the chest started stinging that much more. The body slams a little more vicious, and the blows, the falls, or bumps as we call it in wrestling, that much more aggressive for me than anyone else in the ring. But I came back and I kept coming back. Because where I'm from, giving up is not in the cards. And after three months of training, I'm finally granted my first match. And because of my hard work and likely the novelty of an American luchador, I am slated in as the sub main event. Now, to be clear, that is not the main event. I'm still the warm up act. And the night comes and it's the same rickety ring in some makeshift arena with folding chairs. But the lights and the mariachi music is blaring and it feels glorious. And they call out my name and all the blood rushes right out of my body. It all becomes a blur, but I pull myself together, I get pumped and I step out in all white and gold, the knight in shining armor with a 14 foot velvet cape. I hit that ring and I'm looking good. And then I get my ass kicked. I lose that match bad and so I go backstage, beaten, battered, but at least it's all over. And Rico Cisneros, the trainer, comes over and says, go back in the ring, get the crowd pumping and go save the good guys. I said, what the hell are you talking about? But I panic. I run out there, I do what I'm told, only to get annihilated again. By the end of the event, there are three bad guys, rudos, as we call them. One pinning my shoulders down onto the mat, the other kicking me repeatedly. And the third unmasked me. The ultimate embarrassment in Mexican wrestling. And so I leave with a mixture of emotions. I'm embarrassed, I'm defeated. But despite the beating, I feel like I achieved something amazing. I had become a Mexican wrestler, for Christ's sake. I had lived out a childhood fantasy. But I decided, enough fun. The adventure was over. Time to go home. So I'm back in my little ass apartment in Queens when I get a phone call a month later from a promoter asking me if I would consider wrestling the welterweight champion of the world. So it seems this American lucha, though it had caused quite a stir and the audiences were still talking about this guy. So it was meant to be set as a special event for the 75th anniversary of the largest Mexican wrestling promotion in the world and staged at the National Museum of Mexico City, which is literally a palace. How could I say no? I'm terrified. But I had to see how far I could take this thing. So I accept my opponent, the welterweight champion of the world. His name was Sangre Azteca. Aztecan blood. I failed to mention that my wrestling name was El Conquistador.
- [47:14]
B
The Conqueror.
- [47:17]
F
Now, for anyone here that recalls their colonial history, the conquerors didn't do such nice things in Mexico. It was a match made in heaven. The storyline was set, but upon touching ground in Mexico, I'm explicitly told there is no way I'm winning this match. And then I'm told that Sangria Steca refuses to choreograph the match. Now, if you know anything about wrestling, you know that the outcomes, yes, are predetermined, but that also the matches are more or less scripted. So now, not only am I being forced to lose the match, I could get really hurt. This has gone too far. Ironically, I'm billed as the good guy, or technico, as we call it in Mexican wrestling. But when the announcer finally calls out, el Conquistador de nueva yor, the entire audience turns on me. Now, Mexican wrestling is a familial affair. So the abuelas, the grandmothers, Everyone down to the kids start cursing at me. I feel like the entire arena wants to see me massacred. And in front of over a thousand audience members, sangres that guy. And I go mano a mano, one on one, two out of three falls for more than 45 minutes. And we go at it. We're going blow for blow, putting each other submission moves. We're fighting on the outside of the ring, we're kicking and we're going hard. At one point in the match, revved up by the insults of the audience, I looked down on my opponent, who I just body slammed and I smack him. This was a terrible mistake. All of a sudden, the chop started stinging that much more, the punches and kicks a little heavier, and things are going a little too far. But we go at it and I stay in there. And for the climax of the match, I climbed up to the top rope to finish him off with a high flying maneuver. And it's just like I imagined as a kid. It's magical. And I'm soaring through the air.
- [50:13]
E
Only.
- [50:13]
F
To get caught off midair with a drop kick to the chest. And he pins me for the 1, 2, 3. I lose again. And I'm leaving the ring confused, beaten, and a swarm of kids surround me, asking me for autographs, embracing me, taking photos. And it's bizarre. And I bend down to greet a few kids and I feel this little pat on my shoulder. And a little boy says in my ear, si se puede, yes, you can. And I'm beaten. And this kid wants to believe, wants to believe that this character should keep fighting. And so I do. I take that childhood fantasy and turn it into an eight year career as El Conquisador. Now, it's been almost 10 years since the last time I stepped in the ring, but of course I think about my adventures as a luchador all the time. But more than anything, I think about that little boy's words. Because when times get most difficult for me, and these last two years have been some of the most challenging, tragic years of my life, of so many of our lives, El Conquisador reminds me that it's not always about winning. It's not about being the hero all the time. It's about moving through the failures and getting up after the losses. Because as that little kid said, that kid that just wanted to believe. Si se puede. Yes, you can. Yes, we can. Thank you.
- [52:49]
A
Shawn Leonardo is a Brooklyn based artist and is. His work has been profiled in the New York Times and CNN and featured in museums like The Guggenheim, Mass MOCA and the Bronx Museum, to name a few. His first major public art commission is now on view at FDR for Freedom State Park. Sean entered into the world of wrestling as research for his art, which explores the hyper masculine figures he was fascinated with as a child. It had never been his intention to actually pursue a pro career. These days, he says he misses the catharsis of the fight and the thrill of the crowd, or pop as they call it in the industry. To see pictures of Sean in his wrestling regalia, including that 14 foot velvet cape and some amazing action shots from the ring, Visit our website themoth.org and while you're there, maybe consider pitching us your story like Sean did. You don't have to go toe to toe with a Mexican cross wrestler to have a good one. Stories come in all shapes and sizes, so if you have a story you're itching to tell, just look for tell a story on our website and you'll find all the info for how to pitch us.
- [53:55]
C
A man goes through his midlife crisis when he experiences the mortality of his father. That ring true to me. And it also helped me explain why in a sudden burst of inspiration, I bought a 20 year old motorcycle while my father was dying of cancer. I bought this beautiful machine without even knowing how to ride a motorcycle, not even having my license. I didn't tell anyone, especially not in my family, about my purchase because I'm from a traditional Jewish family and it would have killed my mother to know I was out there on the open road. My father's prolonged battle with cancer would come to a head in May 2017 when he was taken to the emergency room because he had trouble breathing. While he was in the er, his oncologist came down and gave us all the bad news that the experimental treatment that was supposed to save his life hadn't been working and this was the end of the road. My sister and I rushed to be by his side and the three of us cried and cried. But for just a moment we came up for air and I turned to them and I said, well, now that you've got your bad news, I may as well tell you I bought a motorcycle. The tears of sadness started to mix with laughter and love and we started to plan our road trips together because that's what you do with dying people. You plan for your future. And he made me promise right then and there to always wear boots when I ride. And I still do every time.
- [55:11]
A
You can pitch us your story@themoth.org or you can call us at 877-799-MOTH. That's 877-799-6684. That's it for this show. We hope you'll join us next time for the Moth Radio Hour.
- [55:38]
F
This episode of the Moth Radio Hour was produced by me, Jay Allison, Kathryn Burns and Meg Bowles, who also hosted and directed the stories in the show. Co producer is Vicki Merrick, associate producer Emily Couch. Additional grand slam coaching by Larry Rosen. The rest of the Moss leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Sarah Austin, Janess, Jennifer Hickson, Kate Tellis, Jennifer Birmingham, Marina Cluce, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant, Inga Gladowski, Sarah Jane Johnson and Aldi Caza. Our pitch came from Zach Lipton in London, England. Moth Stories Are True is remembered and affirmed by the Storytellers. Our theme music is by the Drift. Other music in this hour from Stephen Jacobs, Blue Dot Sessions, Tommy Guerrero, Jason Beals and the El Mariachi Band. We receive funding from the National Endowment for the Arts. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. Special thanks to our friends at Odyssey, including executive producer Leah Rhys Dennis. For more about our podcast, for information on pitching us your own story and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.
- [56:54]
B
SAM.