Steve Osborne (3:14)

From brx. This is the Moth Radio Hour. I'm Jay Allison, producer of this radio show. In this hour, we bring you a special live Moth event recorded in Boston, Massachusetts at the beautiful Shubert Theatre, was produced in partnership with wbur. The theme of the night was Eyewitness. And our first storyteller is Steve Osborne.

Jay Allison (3:42)

My name's Steve Osborne, and I was a New York city cop for 20, 20 years. It's 7:00 in the morning. I'm laying in bed. I'm sound asleep. I'm out like a light, and the phone starts ringing. Now, the last thing I want to do is answer this. I just gotten home. I worked overtime all night long. I was dead tired, I was beat, and I just didn't want to answer it. Finally, the answering machine picks up and I hear this voice. It's a buddy of mine from the old neighborhood where I grew up. And I haven't heard from him in a really long time, but right away, I could tell that there's something wrong. You know, like he's humming and whoring and he's like he's searching for the right words. And he says, you know, hey, Oz, I know it's early. I'm sorry to bother you, but I didn't know who else to call. I figured you're the only guy who could help me. Now, when you're a cop, your family, your friends, they like to come to you with their legal problems. And usually their legal problems are they got arrested. Now, when I was a kid, my father was a cop, and everybody in the neighborhood came to him with their problems, but he had recently passed away. So the job got handed down to me. So I grabbed the phone, I'm like, hey, Danny, what's up, man? What's going on? And right away, he says to me, he goes, hey, Oz, remember Jimmy? I'm like, yeah, of course. He goes, he's dead now. Of course I remember Jimmy. Him and I were kids together. You know, we played baseball together. We were on the same little league team. And when he told me that Jimmy was dead, I can't say that I was totally surprised. You know, from what I remember, Jimmy always lived life on the edge. And the edge, for him, meant drugs. Like hardcore drugs. Now, when you were a kid, you know, everybody drinks beer, smokes a little weed, no big deal. But for some guys, after a while, that wasn't enough. And they made that big leap over to the dark side. And the dark side was heroin. And once you make that big leap, life changes. It's never the same again. All you care about now is getting high and chasing that next bag of dope. You really don't care about playing baseball anymore. So a really long time ago, I lost track of Jimmy. And he went his way, and I went mine. So I said to Danny, I says, all right, tell me what's happened. What's going on? He says to me, I'm over at Jimmy's mom's house. I don't know what's going on. The cops were just here, and we think that he died in a car accident, but we're not sure. And I was hoping maybe that you could find something out for us. I'm like, okay, where did this happen? So he tells me, in Manhattan, on fifth street and Avenue D. Now, believe it or not, this is a little bit of a stroke of luck for me. 5&D is in the 9th Precinct. And at the time, I was working up in the Bronx. But for the past four years, I was out on patrol in the 9th. So I knew everybody there. I mean, with one phone call, I could find out what's going on. And when he told me that it was in the 9th, I couldn't believe it. You know, there were 76 precincts in all of New York City. And out of all the places that this could have happened, it happened in my precinct, you know, in my command. So I told Danny, I said, sit tight. Let me make a phone call and see what I can find out. So I called the ninth, and sure enough, the desk sergeant's a friend of mine. So I told him what I had so far, and I asked him to do me a favor and check it out, see what he could find out. He gets right back to me. And as soon as he does, I can tell that there's something wrong. You know, the tone of his voice has changed. He's a little bit more cautious now. And he says to me, he goes, hey, Oz. He goes, this guy, he's a friend of yours? I'm like, listen, you know, I know him from the old neighborhood. We were kids together. We played baseball together. I says, I haven't seen him in ages. I'm just calling as a Favor for his mom. I'm like, what's the matter? What's going on? So he tells me, he goes, I got some bad news for you. It's not a car accident. He goes, it looks like he crapped out from an overdose. So I'm like, how do they know? I mean, this just happened a couple of hours ago. I mean, how can they be so sure? And he tells me, he goes, look, they found him in an abandoned building. He was dead, he still had the hypo stuck in his arm. So I'm like, okay, you don't have to be a detective to figure this one out. But I said to him, what about the car? There's a car involved here somewhere. So he tells me when the cops first responded that they found a car double parked out in front of the location. Keys were in the ignition, engine running. So when they ran the plate and it came back to Jimmy, they just vouched it for safekeeping. That was it. And now that I heard the whole story, you know, it all made perfect sense, you know, And I guess what happened was, it was early in the morning, Jimmy's mom heard dead, and she heard car, and she put two and two together and came up with car accident. But I don't know if you've ever seen a junkie when they. When they gotta get high. You know, normally they go through life in slow motion, but not when they gotta get high. You know, that's when they're on a mission. You know, you'll see them, they're marching down the street and they got that money clenched in their fist. And junkies are brand loyal. They'll go to that same spot day after day, even year after year, because they know they get the good shit there and they won't get robbed. And when you see them, they're sick, they're physically ill, you know, they got the shakes, they got the chills, their stomach is nauseous. And all they could think about is getting high again and getting right again. And I guess when you're like that, you know, it's easy to forget that you left your car double parked outside, you know, with the keys in the ignition and the engine running. And I guess if there's anything good about dying of an overdose is that it's painless, you know, you just kind of drift out. All the pain happens in the years before. So I got all the information that they were going to need to get the car and get his body back. And I called Danny and I says, listen, I checked it out. And I got some bad news for you. This was not a car accident. It looks like it was an overdose. And as soon as I told him that, you know, both of us got really quiet. It was like silence on the phone. And I knew why. We had a little bit of a problem. A few years before, Jimmy's older brother had died of a drug related death. I heard different stories out in the street. I heard overdose, I heard AIDS a couple of times with whatever it was, it was drug related. And that's when Danny says to me, he goes, I can't tell his mother this. I told him, I says, I don't know what you're gonna tell his mother. I says, I'm just telling you what the facts are. And that's when he says, I can't tell her this. You gotta tell her. He goes, you're the cop. You're used to this kind of stuff. You tell her now. He was probably right. I was probably much more prepared to deal with this than he was. But I didn't want to tell her. I hadn't seen her probably in like 20 years. And I really did not want to get reacquainted like this. But as I was telling him no, that I didn't want to do it, that's when it happened. The next thing I know, and it hit me like a punch in a gut. And just as fast. Next thing I know is I hear the sweet voice of Jimmy's mom on the other end of the phone saying, hello, Stephen. Now I was stuck. Now I was going to have to be the one to tell her how she lost the only son she had left. And for the briefest moment, I thought about telling her that the cause of death hadn't been determined yet. You know, we're going to have to wait for the autopsy and wait for the medical examiner's report. But then I thought, no, no, that's not what I'm going to do. That's not the way my old man would have handled it. That's not the way I'm going to handle it. She's going to have to hear the truth sooner or later, and she might as well hear it from a friend now. I was unprepared. I mean, he had just handed her the phone and I really didn't know what I was going to say. So after I said hello, you know, I asked her how she was doing and I offered her my condolences and she asked how I was doing and she asked how my family was doing. And next thing I know, we just started talking and we started talking about the old neighborhood, about what a great place it was to grow up. And she even remembered that me and Jimmy played baseball together. And this went on for a few minutes. But then after a while, there was this awkward silence. We had run out of things to talk about, and we both remembered what the purpose of this call was. So I told her, I says, Mrs. Murphy, I did some checking and I have some bad news. Jimmy did not die in a car accident. It looks like it's going to be a drug related death. And when I told her that, I was waiting for her to protest. I was waiting for her to say, no, no, that can't be. It's not possible. But she didn't say that. All she said was, oh, I see. And I could tell by the way she said that that she always knew someday, sooner or later, she was going to get a phone call like this. You know, she knew he had a problem. Everybody knew he had a problem. And as much as I did not want to be the one to tell her this, at that moment, I was glad. I was glad that it was me and not some detective that she didn't know. After that, you know, we didn't really have much else to talk about. And we hung up and I laid back down in bed. And I wanted to go back to sleep, but I couldn't. And I just laid there, like, staring up at the ceiling. And I was thinking about the old neighborhood and what a great place it was. And I was thinking about Jimmy. And I could still picture him. I could still picture him in his baseball uniform. And I wondered what his life must have been like all these years. And I wondered if maybe one night I passed him out on the street, you know, me, a cop out on patrol, and him a junkie, you know, with that money clenched in his fist, marching to his regular spot, going to get high. And I wonder if I would have even recognized him. You know, junkies get old really fast. But more than anything, I wondered how two little kids on the same baseball team ended up taking such different paths in life. Thank you.

Steve Osborne (15:34)

That was Steve Osborne. Steve was a New York City police officer for 20 years. He retired as a lieutenant in the Detective Bureau and was commanding officer of the Manhattan Gang Squad. He's a writer and author of the book the True Tales from the Life of a New York City Cop. On this evening in Boston, Moth director Sarah Austin Janess sat down with Steve to talk with him about his experience telling stories at the Moth.

Dan Kennedy (16:03)

How many stories have you told with us at this point.

Jay Allison (16:07)

I think this is number seven and seven different stories and probably told over 20 different shows.

Dan Kennedy (16:16)

This story was, was a little more, I would go, I would say a little emotional.

Jay Allison (16:21)

Yeah, it was a little sad. I, I like telling a funny story because, you know, you get that immediate feedback from the audience. You know, you hear the laughter, you know you're doing good. But when you tell a sad story, and this was a really sad story, I mean, there was times you could have heard a pin drop in there. So you don't get that immediate feedback, but you could tell that people are really paying attention.

Dan Kennedy (16:45)

What do you think your dad would, would think of all this storytelling that you do, especially the stories that feature him a little bit?

Jay Allison (16:51)

Well, he was a big ham. He. Any story that he's in, he would like. But he was an Irish cop and Irish guys are great storytellers and cops are great storytellers. When you put it together, I mean, just when I was a kid, you know, whenever there was a party, he was always like the center of attention. He was always the guy telling stories. And when his cop buddies would come over the house, these were, to me, these were like the coolest guys in the world. And they were all telling stories about what happened the night before out on patrol. And I guess that's where I got the storytelling bug.

Steve Osborne (17:24)

That's Steve Osborne. You can share these stories or others from the Moth archive through our website, themoth.org or by using the Moth app app, which is now available for iOS or Android. We're also on Facebook and Twitter Hemoth. Coming up in a moment, our next story from Boston, a musician's boyhood dream to play with James Brown. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts and presented by prx.

Dan Kennedy (18:16)

The Moth is supported by Dropbox for Business, which helps you work the way you want. All the things you love about Dropbox with enterprise grade security and administrative controls. Help your team work together on any file type on any device simply and securely with customizable sharing controls like expiration dates and passwords for sharing links. Over 100,000 businesses already use Dropbox for business. Dropbox for business, all yours.

Steve Osborne (18:50)

This is the Moth Radio Hour from prx. I'm Jay Allison. You're listening to a live Moth event held in Boston with the theme Eyewitness. Our next storyteller is Christian McBride.

Christian McBride (19:10)

So I came up in a very musical household. My father is a musician. My great uncle is a musician. My uncle, my uncle Butch, rest his soul. He, he was a promotions man at what radio, which was one of two R&B stations in Philadelphia. And I got to go to a lot of live shows, as you can imagine, from the time I can remember. But one of my strongest memories from childhood was sitting around the television with my mother and we were watching the midnight special, Wolfman Jack. And at the time I was 8 years old. And Wolfman Jack comes on TV and he says, and now, ladies and gentlemen, the Godfather of Soul, James Brown. And the clip they showed was from 1974 of James Brown singing the Big Payback. I remember the band had on these red vinyl suits with these capes, and James Brown had a one piece blue jumpsuit with gfos in rhinestones across the front. Godfather of Soul and the Hair. And the band was doing these steps and twirling their horns and had dancers on the side. And I sat in front of the television with my mother watching this man holler and scream and do splits and fall on his knees and spin. I thought, oh my God, what is that? And the performance was so intense. I had never experienced anything like that before in person at a live concert or on television. So once James Brown was done, I continued to stare at the television for about a good hour and a half because I was in shock. And my mother said, are you okay? Yeah. James Brown, wow. So I called my uncle Butch from the radio station. I said, uncle Butch, do you have any James Brown records? And he went, ha, do I have James Brown records? Get over here. So I went over to his house and as I said, because he worked for the radio station, his whole apartment was nothing but records all over the place. And he says, you see that whole top row? That's all James Brown. What do you want to hear? And he pretty much had every record James Brown ever made. So I said, can you pull them all down? Yeah. So Uncle Butch and I had a James Brown listen a thon for, for about seven straight hours. And at that point my uncle said, okay, you got it. Like I got it. I said, what do you mean? He says, well, I remember the first time I saw James Brown as a kid. I think I had the same reaction that you're having now. So you know how the Grateful Dead have Deadheads? My uncle Butch and I became James brown heads. From 1980 until 1988, my Uncle Butch and I never missed one single James Brown concert anytime he was within a 100 mile radius of Philadelphia. So a year later, I start to play bass and I take all those same James Brown records. And now I'm learning all of the bass lines from these records. And it hits me, says, I want to play with James Brown one day. I don't know what it's going to take, but I am going to play with James Brown come hell or high water, I'm going to play with James Brown. So I go through high school learning all of his records, reading all these books, magazine articles. I'm studying everything I can about James Brown. And one of the first things I discovered about James Brown, not just his great music, but it was pretty well documented that his ego was gargantuan and his temper was legendary. He never knew what was going to set him off. He always had a habit of firing band members at a whim and rehiring them a day later, you know? So I said. I said, okay, I can handle this. I'm going to meet James Brown. I'm going to play with him. So, ironically, I become a jazz musician. But even though I'm loving jazz, I'm still listening to my James Brown. And I discovered that there is a distinct link between James Brown and jazz. As I'm learning about jazz, I'm realizing the improvisational nature of James Brown's music. It wasn't clean and perfectly put together like other pop records. James Brown's music had hair on it. It was dirty, it was funky. All those imperfections is what made his music so great to me. So I said, wow, not only am I going to play with James Brown one day, I want to see if we could somehow do a project with jazz and soul together. And all my friends like, dude, no, James Brown and jazz don't go together. All right? Jazz, Brown and Coltrane do not belong in the same sentence. So I was like, nope, I have to differ with you. So I become a professional musician. I moved to New York City. I'm going to school at Juilliard and still listen to all my James Brown records. 1993, I'm on tour with Pat Metheny, and we're in Europe, and much to my surprise, we open for James Brown. So I'm on stage and just like. Because I saw the lineup and I went, oh, my God, James Brown is here. I'm finally going to meet him, you know? So I didn't. While we were playing, I'm looking to the side of the stage, you know, I'm thinking, man, James Brown's gonna, like, come out to the Wings and watch the band. And, you know, I should have known better. But I got the next best thing. I saw all of his band members. Now, through all of my James Brown studies and, you know, obsessing about the man and his music, I knew everybody. I said, oh, man, there's Sinclair, there's Arthur Dixon, there's Martha Hyde, there's Danny Ray. I'm like, calling him off. And, you know, so after it was over, we come off stage, I meet all the guys in the band, and we got to be good friends. And I met a guy named Mousey. Mousey Thompson. He was Mr. Brown's drummer. He just joined the band and we became fast friends. And Mousey said, maybe I can introduce you to James Brown. And all of a sudden I was, you know, started doing like, you know, really, maybe I can meet James Brown. You know, I didn't meet him, you know, Mr. Brown had left the building as most superstars, his dressing room was like, in another quadrant of the facility. So about. I didn't get to meet him that night. But six months later, Mousey calls and says, hey, we're coming to play the Apollo Theater. Come hang out. So I go backstage and I said, you know, hanging out with the band, watching James Brown perform at the Apollo Theater. How deep is that? And at the end of the show, I said, okay, now might be my chance. I'm going to meet James Brown. What do I say to him so he'll remember me? I have a little bit of career, you know, Been on the road with Pat Metheny and Freddie Hubbard and McCoy Tyner, a few people. Maybe he might know who I am, but maybe not. So what can I say? So I'm at the bottom of the stairs at the Apollo. I see him coming down, and it hit me. I got it. My dream came into fruition right there. James Brown did a very obscure record called Soul on Top. It was a jazz album with Louis Belson playing drums and Oliver Nelson's big band. I said, I bet not even big James Brown fans know this album. When he comes downstairs, I'm going to ask him about that record that's going to get him. I got it. James Brown comes down the steps. I stick my hand out, had a little care package of some CDs that I played on. I said, hi, Mr. Brown. I really. You're, like my hero. I don't know what to say to you. I mean, just. God, I love you. I said, thank you, son. Thank you. Appreciate that. I said, Mr. Brown, do you remember a record you did called Soul on Top? I sure do. So what you know about that record? I said, that's a great record. You know, Ray Brown played bass, Oliver Nelson and Louis Belson. Uh huh. You know that record, huh? Yes, sir, Mr. Brown. God bless you, son. I love you for that. I said, I'm a bass player too. I brought some CDs for you to listen to. Give them to my manager, son. So I gave him to his manager. I walked off thinking, yes, I finally met him. I'm going to see him again and I'm going to remind him that I brought up Soul on Top and that I play bass. And he's going to have listened to all those CDs I gave him and we're going to be best friends. And he's going to call me the next time he wants to do a record. And we're going to ride off into the sunset together, me and J.F. brown. My hero. Well, not too long after we met at the Apollo, my first CD comes out called Get Into It. The title track to the CD was based off of a James Brown song called Get It Together. I wrote in the line of notes how much James Brown meant to me. And this song came from Get It Together and yada yada, yada, yada. About a year later, Mousey calls and says, hey, we're coming to Radio City. We're doing the GQ Men of the Year Awards. Come hang out. I come hang out. There's James Brown. By this time, I have two CDs out and have been on the road with even more people. So James Brown comes off the stage. His manager sees me, he says, Mr. Brown, you remember Christian McBride, the bass player, right? And James Brown says, yeah, Mr. Soul on top. Needless to say, my knees buckled. And so we're talking. I'm standing with Mousey, who's one of my best friends at this point. Point. And Mr. Brown says. We start making small talk. And after he wraps up, he says, son, what are you and Mousie doing right now? I said, Nothing, Mr. Brown. He says, why don't y'all come have dinner with me? What, you kidding? So I go to dinner with mousey and his Mr. Brown's entourage. We go to Victor's Cafe in New York City. And we're sitting there and for about three hours we sat there the last hour of the conversation. He didn't talk to me the whole night, but I didn't care. I was just honored to be there. Mr. Brown puts his food down. He says, so, Mr. McBride. Yes, sir. So tell me about this project you want to do. I've been hearing you talk about this Soul on Top. Thing what you want to do, son? I said, well, Mr. Brown, I know how much you love jazz, and not a lot of people know that jazz really is your thing and how it informs your special brand of funk and. And nobody else does it like you. He went, now, see that, son? I like the fact that you know the real James Brown. See, not even big James Brown fans know that. You hear that, y'all? This young man here is listening. He know all about James Brown. There we are having dinner, and we're talking about Art Blakey, John Coltrane, Lee Morgan, Cannibal, Adderley, people that one wouldn't associate with James Brown. So a couple of days later, my manager calls and says, christian, you're not going to believe this. I said, what? She says, james Brown wants to invite you to his Christmas party in Augusta, Georgia. I said, oh, my God, my dream is going to happen. We're becoming friends. I fly down to Augusta, Georgia, see James Brown. I'm sitting at the table with Mousie and Martha High, who was his background singer, another dear friend of mine. And Mr. Brown shows up at the party. His manager comes in. He calls me over. He says, Mr. Brown would like to see you, sir. Oh. I go over, and James Brown says, Mr. McBride, welcome to Augusta, son. You know, I love what you do. I really been paying attention to everything you do, son. I'm glad you can make it down here. I want to introduce you to some people. So he introduced me to the mayor of Augusta, all of his friends, and Reverend Al Sharpton was there. He told Reverend Sharpton, he said, Reverend, this is Christian McBride. Now. He lives in New York. I want you two to exchange numbers because I want you to look out for this young man upstairs, son. Reverend Shotgun will protect you. So he says, enjoy yourself at the party, son. I'm gonna surprise everybody tonight. I said, what are you gonna do? He said, I'm gonna sing some jazz with the house band because of you. You got me all excited about singing jazz again. I'm Gonna sing Route 66 and time after Time. Not the Cyndi Lauper time. At the time, it says, because of you, son, you got me wanting to sing jazz again. Wow. Thank you, Mr. Brown. Party is over. We're all taking pictures with Mr. Brown. I sat there for a few hours having fun with everybody. We posed for a picture. Me, Mr. Brown, Mousie and Ms. High. Just before the camera clicks, Mr. Brown looks up and he says, son, you think you're slick. I know what you're doing. I said, excuse me. I Know what you're doing, son? You can't fool me. I know what you're doing. You think I don't know, but I know. I've seen it all, son. You can't get away with it. So what the hell is he talking about? So he walks off looking a little angry. So I asked Mousey and Martha, I said, what was that about? So don't worry. You know him. I said, no, I don't. I mean, I know his temper and his ego are legendary, but I didn't do anything. I've just been sitting here at the party for two hours. So I call him a few days later to make sure everything is cool. I said, Mr. Brown, hi, this is Christian McBride. Just checking to see how you doing. And, you know, maybe we can get that project going, the Soul On Top thing. Son, we got a problem. I said, what's the problem, Mr. Brown? He says, you know, I was listening to that record you made. I took a good listen to it this time. I said, yes. He said, I think I'm gonna have to sue you, son. Why? Son, you just like everybody else. You stealing my music and getting rich. Taking music of mine, putting your name on it. That's what these rappers are doing. You ain't nothing but a common rapper. And on top of everything, I don't even like the record. You can't play no bass. Everybody, I tell you, a great jazz bass player, you ain't got no talent. You can't write, you can't play. You can't do nothing. Son, as far as the Soul On Top project, forget it. We ain't doing nothing. I felt like I just got shot in the heart. And so I'm holding the phone, going. I don't know what to say. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Brown, but did you happen to read the liner notes? I spent a whole paragraph telling the world how much I loved you and how much that song was inspired by Get It Together. You said that about me? Yes, sir, Mr. Brown. All you have to do is read the liner notes. Well, I still love you, but I ain't doing no record with you. He hangs up. So six years later, I become the creative chair for the Los Angeles Philharmonic. For their Jazz series. I help program 12 concerts per year, eight at the Hollywood bowl, four at Walt Disney Concert Hall. I thought, it's now or never. I know I haven't spoken with James Brown in six years and we left on a very bad note. But I have to ask. I called his manager, told him what happened, and Charles Bobbitt bless his heart. Mr. Bobbitt says, you know, Mr. McBride, Mr. Brown, he's been following your career. He's kept up on stuff you've been doing. Now, I don't know if he's gonna do the Hollywood bowl with you, but I will ask him. October 24, 2005. My cell phone rings. Is Charles Bobbitt Christian yes, Charles Bobby, how you doing? Mr. Bobby well, I talked to Mr. Brown. He would love to work with you. He said he's looking forward to working with you and your band, doing all of the music from Soul on Top. So I sat there frozen for about a good five minutes and put everything in motion. September 6, 2006. James Brown and I performed together finally at the Hollywood bowl, recording, performing all of the music from Soul on Top live. Even Louis Bellson made a guest appearance that night. And at the end of the concert, Mr. Brown gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. And he said, son, you're a genius. Thank you, Mr. Brown. His manager says, Mr. McBride, we're going to have to discuss about doing this concert in New York very, very soon. Mr. Brown, I know he's going to want to do this. Let's get this set in motion right away. Yes, sir, Mr. Bobbitt. I'm right on it. Christmas morning, 2006, in the kitchen with my mother in law and my phone rings. I see the clock. It's 3am and you know when somebody calls that hour of the night, it's not good unless a baby is being born. And I was very nervous to answer the phone. I didn't answer it the first time it rang again. I didn't answer it again. I was too nervous. Looked at the caller id. The first call was from Philly. The second call was from Georgia. Georgia. Who do I know in Georgia who would call me at 3:00 in the morning? Something said, go to the television, go to the TV. Put on CNN. James Brown dead 19332006 and not only did I feel like the world had lost an icon, but I felt like I lost my new friend and someone who had helped my biggest dream come to reality. And so for a few days I was pretty much numb. And when the funeral happened, I talked to Mr. Bobbitt. Mr. Bobbitt said, you and your wife meet us backstage at the Apollo. Which was where the first of his three funerals were. He said, meet me backstage at the Apollo. So my wife and I met him at the Apollo. And Mr. Brown's daughter Deanna caught the both of us. And she waved us over and she said, you guys sit with the family. You know dad loved you so there couldn't have been a better way to cap my dream with James Brown than to sit with his family at his funeral to say goodbye to the Godfather of Soul.

Steve Osborne (39:06)

Christian McBride is a four time grade Grammy Award winning bassist, composer and the host of NPR's Jazz Night in America. He's been artist in residence and artistic director with organizations such as Jazz Aspen, Los Angeles Philharmonic and the Jazz Museum in Harlem.

Christian McBride (39:38)

If I keep loving you, my life will be ruined.

Steve Osborne (39:46)

Coming up next, what to do when winning the heart of your dream boyfriend threatens to tear your family apart. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts and presented by PRX.

Dan Kennedy (40:01)

The moth is supported by audible.com Audible has more than 180,000 audio programs from leading audiobook publishers, broadcasters, entertainers, magazines and newspapers and Audible's offering a free audiobook of your choice and a free 30 day trial membership. Moth podcast listeners might enjoy why Not Me? Written and read by Mindy Kaling. Just go to audible.com themoth and choose from over 180,000 titles. Download a title free and start listening. It's that easy. Go to audible.com themoth and get started today.

Steve Osborne (40:38)

This is the Moth Radio Hour from prx. I'm Jay Allison, producer of this radio show. In this edition, stories recorded live at a Moth event in Boston, Massachusetts. Our final storyteller of the evening is Mary Lou Pyland.

Mary Lou Pilon (41:02)

So there I was, sitting in my driveway in my car, sobbing when I saw my Uncle Dominic march across the lawn. He tapped on my window, lifted his shirt, pointed to his gun and said, if you bring shame to me or my family, I will shoot you. And I will shoot Anthony. Rewind to the first time I ever saw Anthony. I was at Sacred Heart High School in the foyer trying to convince my teacher, Ms. Jo, to give me a few extra days on an assignment. And I felt this sudden gust of wind hit the back of my legs and I turned around and my eyes locked on the most gold gorgeous boy I had ever seen. Barely able to speak, I turned back around and said, Ms. Jo, who is that? She said, that's Anthony. And I looked at her and said, I am going to marry Anthony someday. So I set to work. I convinced Ms. Jo to give me a non existent filing job in the guidance office and I randomly came across his files in an hour. I had memorized his class schedule, locker location and locker combination and often I would go and Meet him, because I knew his schedule as he was coming out of English class and say, hey, are you going to the dance Friday night? And he would look at me like, who are you? Or he'd be coming out of the caf, and I'd say, football game Saturday. And the poor guy never knew what hit him. So we started to see each other and pass each other in the hallways, and I started to get a little bold. I went down to his locker one day and took his Egyptian musk oil and put it on my wrist so I could smell him throughout the day. Another time, I went down and stole. Borrowed his yellow cardigan. And as I was walking down the hall, he stopped me and he said, hey, that's a nice sweater. I have one just like that. I was like, I know. So I decided to bring my sister Nancy to meet him at the dance on Friday night. And I introduced them, and she agreed. She's like, he is really, really cute, but why are you going to fall in love with him? You can't bring him home. He's black, and dad would kill you. And in my heart, I knew she was right. But part of me hoped that she was wrong. So we danced and flirted for two years. And then Anthony told me he was going into the Air Force. And he was gone for six years. And we kept in touch. When he came home, we started going out. And we'd always have to go to movie theaters that were three towns away or restaurants that were four towns away, because I didn't want anyone to tell my dad that I was out with somebody who was black. So as we grew closer, he decided that he wanted to meet my Italian family, because that's all I did was talk about them. So I was like, if you meet them, you're gonna be stuck with me for the rest of your life. And he said, it's the 90s. People aren't like that anymore. And I'm like, my family is like that. They're crazy. Off the boat. Italian sausage, stuffing, winemaking, Catholic, Italian family. So he's like, no, I really want to meet them. So took me about a week and a half, but I thought of a good plan. I'm going to take him to my dad's car wash because I knew he'd never kill me in front of a customer. So I went. As we're driving to the car wash, I remember, first my heart was, like, in my throat, then it was in my shoes, then it was back in my throat, and I'm thinking, oh, Nancy's right. Nancy's right. What am I doing? We get to the car wash. Anthony gets out of the car, and I introduce them. They shake hands. They start making small talk. And I step back and I say, for once, Nancy was wrong. So after they met and they made small talk, I was so excited to go home that night because I thought, this is it. The secret is out. They're gonna love him. We can go to Sunday dinners together. And I went home, and no one would talk to me. And it was like December and April. It was so cold that I could see my breath in my house. So the next day, I came downstairs, and my dad was waiting for me at the kitchen table. It was serious. He said, is that your boyfriend? I couldn't even say anything. He's like, sit down. We need to talk. And I remember thinking, where's the nearest exit? Because I'm going to have to make a run for it. So before I could even sit down, he said, you know how we feel. It's him or us. And I looked at him and I said, I love him. I will be out of your house by the end of the day. So I went upstairs and I started packing up my things. And I hear Nancy stomping up the stairs. She's mad. She walks into my room, grabs my perfume tray full of glass perfume bottles, and she's holding it, and she says to me, you're really going to do this? You're going to break up this family? And I said, I love him. She took my perfume bottles and she threw them up against the wall. And all the glass shattered, sobbing on the floor. I'm picking up all these pieces of perfume bottles, and I hear my aunt Evelina and my grandmother walk in the room. So I look up and I held my hand up to my aunt, thinking she would lean over and help me up. And she leaned over and she smacked me so hard across the face. And she said, you are selfish and immature, and you are not going to do this to my sister. And my nonna, Maria started pulling her off of me, and she was pushing her out the door. And my nonna turned around and she said, maria Luisa, az colta al tujuore. Listen to your heart. And then she said, tuto ne la vita e un misterio. Everything in life is a trade off. So there I am, sitting in my car, sobbing. And after my uncle threatens to shoot us both, he says, and whatever you do, don't have kids. So I decided to move in with my girlfriend Theresa, whose husband was a cop, because I thought that Was a good move. And people kept visiting me like somebody died. Everybody was coming, trying to convince me to go back, Trying to tell me this was a mistake, it was a fad, it was going to pass. But they didn't realize I stalked this man for six years. I am not going back without him. By the third day, my mom was so desperate, she gave Theresa a bottle of holy water from Lourdes in France, Like a little Virgin Mary bottle to pour in my coffee, because she thought that I was possessed. So what my parents didn't know, though, was that Anthony is a really stand up kind of guy. And he knew that I would never make it on my own by myself because I came from such a huge family and he didn't want to live together. So he's like, you know what? I think we should get married. So we went to Vermont, and we got married. And two weeks later, my dad called and he said, listen, I'm stubborn, you're stubborn. We need to work something out because we need to have our family back. And he said, I want to meet you. And I said, all right. I said, I'll meet you on Saturday. And he said, all right, but before then, please don't do anything stupid. I said, dad, we got married. And I heard click dial tone. And I said, that was my only chance. That was it. Like, what am I going to do? I've lost my family forever. But Anthony had faith throughout this whole thing. He was the one that kept saying, for Thanksgiving, we aren't going to be at your uncle's table. And I said, I don't think that's going to happen. So my sister called me about a month later. She said, you have to come home. We miss you. And I said to Anthony, do you want to go? And he said, of course I want to go. I said, I don't. It's a setup. It's an ambush. So we went and we were ambushed with food. Lasagna, meatballs, pasta. I think my mom cooked everything. Every meal I missed for all those months was on the table. So after dinner, my dad said, you know, I really would love to talk to you. And I said, let's talk. He said, he's a great guy. He's nice. I really like him. And I said, yeah, I know. He's like, but the Italian community's not going to accept this. It's not going to work. And I was like, dad, they're not going to accept him if you don't accept him. It has to start with you. You have to make the change. And I think for once he got it and something clicked. And I think now they like him more than they like me. And later that night I was sitting on my grandmother's bed and she was braiding my hair like she did before I went to school every day. And she said to me, you know, my mother fell in love with a boy who wasn't Catholic and her father said, no way. And she listened to her father and she loved him her whole life and always thought where he was and if he had a family or even if he thought of her. And on her deathbed at 93 years old, she was calling for him and she said, I wish he was here just to warm my feet because I'm cold. So she said to me, I'm so happy that you asked, she said, because you always have to listen to your heart. And this will be our 24th Thanksgiving at my uncle's table with our three boys, Anthony, Michael, Anthony, Mark Anthony. And something that was supposed to tear our family apart has just brought more love into our family. And I know that my uncle and my father would lay down their life for my kids.

Steve Osborne (53:07)

Mary Lou Pilon Mary Lou is a first generation American citizen whose parents literally stepped off the boat in the 1960s. Mary Lou works at the Martha's Vineyard Hospital and recently received her bachelor's degree from Charter Oak College. She's currently working on her first book about bringing home her non Italian husband. That's it for this episode of the Moth Radio Hour live from Boston. We hope you'll join us next time. And that's the story from the Moth. The stories in this live hour were directed by Kathryn Burns and Meg Bowles. The rest of the Moss directorial staff includes Sarah Haberman, Sarah Austin, Janess and Jennifer Hickson. Production support from Whitney Jones and Maggie Sino. Moss Stories are True is remembered and affirmed by the Storytellers. This event was recorded live in Boston by Miles Smith and produced in partnership with wbur. Our theme music is by the Drift. Other music in this hour from John Zorn, James Brown and the Chandler Travis 3O. You can find links to all the music we use at our website. The Moth is produced for radio by me, Jay Allison with Vicki Merrick at Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. This hour was produced with funds from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, the National Endowment for the Arts and the John D. And Catherine T. MacArthur foundation, committed to building a more just, verdant and peaceful world. The Moth Radio Hour is presented by prx. For more about our podcast. For information on pitching your own story and everything else go to our website, themoth.org.

Jay Allison (55:03)

There you go, another Moth Radio Hour right here on the Moth Podcast. Thanks for listening everybody and we hope you have a story worthy week.

Dan Kennedy (55:11)

Dan Kennedy is the author of the books Loser Goes First, Rock On An American Spirit. He's also a regular host and performer with the Moth.

Jay Allison (55:20)

The Moth Podcast is produced by Whitney Jones. Moth events are recorded by Argo Studios in New York City, supervised by Paul Ruest. The Moth Podcast and the Moth Radio Hour are presented by prx, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public@prx.org.