The Moth Radio Hour: "Question Marks"

Air date: September 23, 2025
Host: Jennifer Hickson

Episode Overview

This episode of The Moth Radio Hour is themed around questions: the ones we ask, the ones we avoid, and how they shape our experiences and relationships. Through five unique live stories, the tellers explore moments where questions exposed vulnerability, challenged comfort zones, and prompted growth, humor, and humanity.

Key Stories & Discussion Points

1. Shahab "Hobby" Asta – “There’s Nothing Bigger Than the Little Things”

[03:07 - 11:55]

• Story Summary:
  Hobby recalls his childhood as a self-appointed class clown, the challenges with his beloved teacher Ms. Worth, and how his mother deployed both guilt trips and sharp logic to rein him in. The most poignant section revolves around his family ribbing sessions while his mother was in the hospital, ending with their last loving words before her passing.
• Central Question:
  “Am I funny?” and “What words do you want to leave loved ones with?”
• Notable Quotes:
  • “My mom was the purveyor of guilt trips... I couldn’t trust my mom. I caught her slipping money under my pillow once. You ain’t the tooth fairy. Come on now.” (06:01, Shahab/Hobby)
  • “Bye, I love you. I’m glad I went to see my mom that night, because it was the last time I saw her alive and conscious.” (09:14, Shahab/Hobby)
  • “You don’t know how much time you have... So when it’s somebody you care about, make those words count, make them meaningful... I’mma leave you with ‘Bye, I love you.’” (11:36, Shahab/Hobby)
• Memorable Moment:
  Hobby’s comedic retort to his mother’s old “you’re not funny” refrain, after her passing:
  “That’s what I thought. That’s not what I thought. I said, really mad I’m not funny, because I literally had you dying laughing. You literally died laughing. I did that. That was me.” (10:55, Shahab/Hobby)

2. Grace Ambrose – “Casual Questions”

[13:04 - 18:28]

• Story Summary:
  Grace dives into the tricky territory of post-divorce dating and the comedy of so-called “casual” relationships. A friendship evolves into something more, only to founder on unasked questions and mismatched expectations about what “casual” really means.
• Central Question:
  “Do you date?” and “What does ‘casual’ really mean?”
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Do you date? The phrasing is funny to me. Like, do you run? Do you bike? Do you date?” (13:17, Grace Ambrose)
  • “Being asked if I’d like to date casually is a little bit like me picking up a novel that’s written in Latin and being asked how I feel about it… I have no fucking idea what it’s about.” (14:28, Grace Ambrose)
  • “In the last of these [terrible conversations], he told me that when he thinks about dating me in a real and honest way it sparked feelings of… and per the rules of the Moth, I’d like to emphasize here that this is a true and direct quote, feelings of, quote, ‘an impending sense of doom.’” (16:48, Grace Ambrose)
  • “I do not date. I do not know Latin, and the only difference between him and me is that I know that about myself.” (18:20, Grace Ambrose)
• Memorable Moment:
  Grace reading evolutionary biology to help herself sleep—after her ex helped her with the same.

3. Dr. Tonya Matthews – “Defining the Rule”

[23:01 - 35:40]

• Story Summary:
  At the pivotal moment in a high-stakes job interview, Dr. Matthews is asked unexpectedly to perform her poetry. She reflects on the deeper layers of such requests, her own journey with Black excellence, and how questions during interviews can test your identity and intent.
• Central Questions:
  “Will you perform for us?” and “Are you the exception, or are you changing the rules?”
• Notable Quotes:
  • “This is what you need to understand about executive interview processes: one, they are very, very long—but the longer you stay in there, the more interested they are in you.” (23:29, Dr. Tonya Matthews)
  • “I have always been good at hearing the question behind the question... I was raised not to be the exception to the rule. I was raised to change the rule.” (25:57, Dr. Tonya Matthews)
  • “You don’t change the world by moving through it instinctually. You change the world by moving through it intentionally.” (29:13, Dr. Tonya Matthews)
  • “If you are ever asked to perform in an interview and you choose to do so, do so intentionally. It is the only outcome that you can control.” (33:41, Dr. Tonya Matthews)
  • “Turns out that not only does Black excellence know how to change the rules, it also knows how to break the algorithm.” (35:32, Dr. Tonya Matthews)
• Memorable Moment:
  Dr. Matthews’ job-saving poem performance (“Jesus is a 12-year-old black girl with pigtails from Greenmount Avenue…”) and the subsequent reflection on moving intentionally in the world.

4. Lottie Loera – “The Crappiest of Circumstances”

[40:24 - 45:48]

• Story Summary:
  Lottie recounts stepping outside his comfort zone as a reluctant caregiver to his husband Chris, whose chronic illness required both practical caregiving and emotional courage—culminating in an unexpected, healing poop joke.
• Central Question:
  “Can I do this? Do I have what it takes to care for someone in their worst moments?”
• Notable Quotes:
  • “From my perspective—oh no. Am I the person that’s in charge of this? Am I supposed to be doing all this myself? This is all kind of icky.” (41:42, Lottie Loera)
  • “I don’t have time for a crying Chris right now so I yell at him, ‘Hey, shit happens.’” (44:08, Lottie Loera)
  • “I learned that I am more capable than I ever thought possible... and love has a weird way of making itself known, even in the crappiest of circumstances.” (45:38, Lottie Loera)
• Memorable Moment:
  The cathartic laughter sparked by Lottie’s first-ever poop joke, bringing levity and intimacy to a painful situation.

5. Aaron Potek – “Questions of Faith and Love”

[46:57 - 54:17]

• Story Summary:
  During a college recruiting trip, rabbinical student Aaron is unexpectedly asked a difficult question about contradictory religious laws and personal values. His honest answer identifies him as an ally to a struggling Orthodox student, forging a connection that challenges both men on questions of love, faith, and belonging.
• Central Questions:
  “Is there a law you feel isn’t on the path to God?” and “Is it possible to be both gay and Orthodox?”
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Thank God I’m not up there… At which point he says, ‘Aaron, come on up here and answer this question.’” (47:09, Aaron Potek)
  • “I can’t just say ‘ignore that verse.’ To reject a verse would be to deny a fundamental part of our identity, but to just tell him God discriminates against him… That was troubling for both of us.” (49:27, Aaron Potek)
  • “He wanted to thank me for that conversation... He was now in a relationship with another Orthodox guy, and because of our conversation, he was able to believe that love was possible for him.” (53:18, Aaron Potek)
  • “Windshield wipers cannot wipe away these tears.” (53:53, Aaron Potek)
  • “None of it made any sense. But somehow, through that irrationality, I reconnected to my faith. A faith in myself, a faith in God, and a faith that I too would find love one day.” (54:08, Aaron Potek)
• Memorable Moment:
  Aaron’s unexpected, vulnerable answer to a fraught theological question changes another’s life, then his own.

Timestamps of Important Segments

• Introduction & Theme: [02:23 – 03:07]
• Shahab “Hobby” Asta’s story: [03:07 – 11:55]
• Grace Ambrose’s story: [13:04 – 18:28]
• Dr. Tonya Matthews’ story: [23:01 – 35:40]
• Lottie Loera’s story: [40:24 – 45:48]
• Aaron Potek’s story: [46:57 – 54:17]

Tone & Language

The tone throughout is warm, direct, and often humorous, but each story also roots itself in emotional truth and self-reflection. Storytellers use colloquial language, vivid imagery, and a balance of comedy and vulnerability. The episode as a whole invites listeners to confront their own questions—about family, relationships, identity, and purpose—with honesty and, sometimes, a dose of laughter.

Notable Guests / Speaker Attribution

• Host: Jennifer Hickson
• Storytellers: Shahab “Hobby” Asta, Grace Ambrose, Dr. Tonya Matthews, Lottie Loera, Aaron Potek

Overall Takeaway

The episode underscores that questions—especially the uncomfortable or unspeakable ones—can be catalysts for truth, healing, and connection. From challenging family dynamics and comfort zones to navigating prejudice and faith, the stories reveal that sometimes the right question, or a willingness to answer it, makes all the difference.

For Further Exploration

• themoth.org: More stories, event tickets, and photos of the tellers
• Submit your own pitch for The Moth via their website or the 877-799-MOTH line